FabSwingers.com forum: Blunt as fuck chat up lines please

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

My dear friend Saff needs to learn the fine art of the chat up line.

So folks, give her the best you've got. Knock her off her pretty little feet and make her swoon.

But be warned..... she doesn't get subtlety, so blunt as you can please.

She's whopped a tit out and everything in readiness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The one I get every day

“Did it hurt”

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Can i ruin you

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"The one I get every day

“Did it hurt”

Ahh.... a classic.

So, Saff.... did it hurt?

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Can i ruin you

Ooh she might get that one

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By *ge_load_ladMan
over a year ago

NW & Mids

Its not going to suck its self

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By *r easy1981Man
over a year ago

leeds

Fuck it just bend over

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

While you're down there.

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By *ownwithafeatherMan
over a year ago

Watford

Point between her legs and ask if she is going to eat that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/09/21 18:22:30]

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

You’re welcome

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By *ambo1450Man
over a year ago

Newport

Do you want to go halves on a bastard?

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Fancy coming back to mine for a pizza and a shag?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you fuck on first date as i do.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

You've what Saff? And a thread? It's the twilight zone.

(Not a line)

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Can i ruin you

May the force be with you.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Got any condoms...I do

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Do you want to go halves on a bastard?"

Good luck at 45 but god loves a trier…

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Show me your rat

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By *estcountryDadBodMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Fuck and go?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

“GIZZASHAGYABITCH” works wonders.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Its not going to suck its self

That would be impressive if it did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm boring. I tend to just say "I like you" or "would you like to kiss" or "would you like to dance"

If I have already been dancing then I'm a heaving ball of sweat and as red as a beet and my chances of success are even higher.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Fuck it just bend over "

Ooh that's blunt.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"While you're down there.

During the bending over from the previous one?

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it.

Want to see if you can add “has an awesome gag reflex” to your C.V.?

Let’s play carpenter. First we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

You’re welcome

I’m ashamed, that I laughed at these

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Point between her legs and ask if she is going to eat that."

She's flexible.... but not that flexible!

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Its not going to suck its self

That would be impressive if it did"

See and that’s where it’s going wrong… next

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"“GIZZASHAGYABITCH” works wonders. "

Sold

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Fuck and go? "

Where you off?!?

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Show me your rat

You’re thinking of Nora…

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

You’re welcome

I nearly died on my drink then

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By *estcountryDadBodMan
over a year ago

Exeter

"Fuck and go?

Where you off?!?"

I’ll stay if you like

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"You've what Saff? And a thread? It's the twilight zone.

(Not a line)"

Only one Meli… might treat the other one next week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think something falling down ooo wait it’s just your Knickers wait let me help you with them

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

You’re welcome

Why am I not surprised you have a barrel full of these lines

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Sit on my face

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

You’re welcome

Disappointed in the lack of Dutch ovens… try harder

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

You’re welcome

The little toe one I'd a classic!

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By *ge_load_ladMan
over a year ago

NW & Mids

"Its not going to suck its self

That would be impressive if it did"

Fab would have a shortage of single males

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Do you fuck on first date as i do."

No I’m a fucking lady…

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By *wointo1Couple (MM)
over a year ago

Manchester

Do you want me to pull out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your one in a million and when I say that I mean one in a million that I have messages to day so the question is are you going to be the lucky one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck and go? "

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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago

the Goldilocks Zone

One for the GoT fans:

You must be called Winter right? ...cause you'll be coming soon...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're so fine I'd suck your dad's dick just to get a taste of the recipe

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"You're so fine I'd suck your dad's dick just to get a taste of the recipe "

My kinda chick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I normally splat and run but damm your so fine I will repeat

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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago

the Goldilocks Zone

[Removed by poster at 10/09/21 18:46:10]

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Come on people!!

My dead grandpa could do better.

I said knock her off her feet!

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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago

the Goldilocks Zone

hmmm... too subtle eh?...

Ok... how about

Areet Saff - if I told you you've got a lovely arse, would you let me slip you a portion?

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By *exy studMan
over a year ago

Derby

I'm willing if you are able

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By *uietly_KinkyMan
over a year ago

High Wycombe

You'd better tell work you won't be in tomorrow, by the time I'm finished you won't be able to walk.

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By *exy studMan
over a year ago

Derby

Hope you cook breakfast if I am stopping the night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be a good slag"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its not going to suck its self

That would be impressive if it did"

It would render fab redundant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve all been desensitised by fab…

FAF is surely the most direct and obvious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you have a inch in your pants can I scratch for you

My chat up games weak but my cumming games heavy

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

hmmm... too subtle eh?...

Ok... how about

Areet Saff - if I told you you've got a lovely arse, would you let me slip you a portion?"

How big is a portion? Portion of what? Too many questions…

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"One for the GoT fans:

You must be called Winter right? ...cause you'll be coming soon..."

*faints*

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

hmmm... too subtle eh?...

Ok... how about

Areet Saff - if I told you you've got a lovely arse, would you let me slip you a portion?

How big is a portion? Portion of what? Too many questions…

Cake.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Hope you cook breakfast if I am stopping the night "

Yes but you’re not.

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By *own4whateverMan
over a year ago

lan

Is your dad a cement mixer, coz you sure make me hard!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like your face. Can I sit on it?

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By *estcountryDadBodMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Let me try again.

Are you an instant potato dish as I’d love to smash you

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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago

the Goldilocks Zone

hmmm... too subtle eh?...

Ok... how about

Areet Saff - if I told you you've got a lovely arse, would you let me slip you a portion?

How big is a portion? Portion of what? Too many questions…

Cock. And it's a fairly sizable portion...

(That's the super subtle followup line)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you want to cum to heaven

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"One for the GoT fans:

You must be called Winter right? ...cause you'll be coming soon...

*faints*"

Not seen it… next…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One for the GoT fans:

You must be called Winter right? ...cause you'll be coming soon...

*faints*

Not seen it… next… "
get them kickers (in your case boxers) off now

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Let me try again.

Are you an instant potato dish as I’d love to smash you

Are you powdery and mushy?

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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago

the Goldilocks Zone

BRACE! BRACE! BRACE!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nice tits. Mind if I feel them" - I witnessed a mate say this once. She replied "Yeah, ok then". They dated for two years.

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By *estcountryDadBodMan
over a year ago

Exeter

"Let me try again.

Are you an instant potato dish as I’d love to smash you

Are you powdery and mushy? "

No I’m smooth and creamy. Maybe the odd large lump

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"BRACE! BRACE! BRACE!"

Funny

.., better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your name is Saff?

That stands for Sucks And Fucks Frequently right?

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By *uy PiercedMan
over a year ago

somewhere only we know

[Removed by poster at 10/09/21 18:59:53]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Bite on this flannel

Assume the position !

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Your name is Saff?

That stands for Sucks And Fucks Frequently right?

Sarcastic as Fuckety Fuck…

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Bite on this flannel

Assume the position !"

Yes!!! Smooth talker granny…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you prefer cocktail of whiskey+cum after good shag, or shall i order something else?

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Let me try again.

Are you an instant potato dish as I’d love to smash you

Are you powdery and mushy?

No I’m smooth and creamy. Maybe the odd large lump

Partial to a large lump but not too sure about the creamy stuff… try harder…

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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago

the Goldilocks Zone

Eh up Saff... I hear you're partial to a big lump...

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By *exy studMan
over a year ago

Derby

If you look that good in clothes l bet you look even better in your birthday suit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is the only way to stop you talking is to fuck you instead?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to bang you like a shit house door blowing in a hurricane

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Is the only way to stop you talking is to fuck you instead? "

Coffee just came out of my nose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey ladies what's difference between you and my sunglasses ?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

FASAFF?

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By *ill74Man
over a year ago

New forest area

Here's 10p, call your mam, you've pulled.

Fancy a fuck

My balls need emptying, can I empty them in you.

I need to have a lie down. You look like a nice bed...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the only way to stop you talking is to fuck you instead? "
no joking ... 100% honesty. That's how my wife bedded me first.

To shut me up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the only way to stop you talking is to fuck you instead?

Coffee just came out of my nose"

You said blunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey ladies what's difference between you and my sunglasses ?

"
sunglass sit hire on my face

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Where's my big bitch?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

after i night to together saff there be only 7 planets after i destroyed uranus

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By *herry OnatopWoman
over a year ago

Just over there

"I'm going to bang you like a shit house door blowing in a hurricane

You've pulled

This is an awesome line

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going to bang you like a shit house door blowing in a hurricane

You've pulled

This is an awesome line

"
hey my cat died can i play with your pussy instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gorgeous legs....!! They'd look great as a scarf!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you want to come back to mine for some magic sex ?

(Usual response is what’s magic sex?)

We have sex and then you disappear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any Irish meat in you.do you want some

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Do you want to come back to mine for some magic sex ?

(Usual response is what’s magic sex?)

We have sex and then you disappear "

Saff..... winner!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you want to come back to mine for some magic sex ?

(Usual response is what’s magic sex?)

We have sex and then you disappear

Saff..... winner!!"

Ooo what do I win ? Lol x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Bite on this flannel

Assume the position !

Yes!!! Smooth talker granny… "

Shut the fuck up before I fuck you shut!

( too much ?)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi. Can I perform sexual intercourse with you and ejaculate my semen in to your vagina?

Warm regards

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By *estcountryDadBodMan
over a year ago

Exeter

"Do you want to come back to mine for some magic sex ?

(Usual response is what’s magic sex?)

We have sex and then you disappear "

Or we have sex then you pull a rabbit out

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By *oadsafun79Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynea

The one and only classic of…

They’re nice legs, what time do they open?

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

"Its not going to suck its self

That would be impressive if it did"

Does it count if the guy sucks it himself? He keeps asking me to watch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you want to come back to mine for some magic sex ?

(Usual response is what’s magic sex?)

We have sex and then you disappear

Or we have sex then you pull a rabbit out

That answer probably would of saved a lot of drinks being chucked over me haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like your face. Can I sit on it?

Do you want to sniff my wood

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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago

the Goldilocks Zone

Bet you dont play golf Saff, but I'd still like to drive my balls into your rough...

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

You’ll do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bet you dont play golf Saff, but I'd still like to drive my balls into your rough..."

Winner (where’s the applause emoji)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s a party on your face, can I come?

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

Get on your knees and smile like a doughnut!

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Get on your knees and smile like a doughnut!"

I love it!

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"If you look that good in clothes l bet you look even better in your birthday suit "

Makes me think of Father Christmas… so no

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Bet you dont play golf Saff, but I'd still like to drive my balls into your rough..."

You calling me rough?

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Hi. Can I perform sexual intercourse with you and ejaculate my semen in to your vagina?

Warm regards "

Perform? Like a seal? Can I watch?

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By *eddy004Man
over a year ago

Toy Town

Nice car, your manoeuvres are good too, how bout slam it in reverse and back up onto this (gestures to cock)

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Bite on this flannel

Assume the position !

Yes!!! Smooth talker granny…

Shut the fuck up before I fuck you shut!

( too much ?) "

… ermmmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This never worked for me but it used to be one of my dare chat up lines years ago when I was younger in the night clubs.

(Quiet) If you fancy an f@@k say (loud) what.

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi. Can I perform sexual intercourse with you and ejaculate my semen in to your vagina?

Warm regards

Perform? Like a seal? Can I watch?"

Put a ball on my nose and find out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

You might not be the best looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

You’re welcome

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Hi. Can I perform sexual intercourse with you and ejaculate my semen in to your vagina?

Warm regards

Perform? Like a seal? Can I watch?

Put a ball on my nose and find out

Sold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you a chocolate orange?

Because I want to unwrap you and bang you on the table

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty"

Pretty polly, pretty polly

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Get on your knees and smile like a doughnut!"

Mmmmm doughnutttssss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi. Can I perform sexual intercourse with you and ejaculate my semen in to your vagina?

Warm regards

Perform? Like a seal? Can I watch?

Put a ball on my nose and find out

Sold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you a better shag than your mum?

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Is the only way to stop you talking is to fuck you instead? "

That rings a bell.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"You’ll do "

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By *urning the kinkMan
over a year ago

bristol

Bet you’re dripping like a fucked fridge

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By *ill74Man
over a year ago

New forest area

Smile if you want to have sex...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your knickers will look good on the bedroom floor.

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

Ever fucked a 67 year old. ? No , Your place or mine

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Ever fucked a 67 year old. ? No , Your place or mine

Now that's blunt....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you just window shopping or would like to pop in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saff:

Wednesday 29th September @7pm

Dinner Reservation for 2 is under the name “Will”.

RSVP

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By *rightonfranceMan
over a year ago

brighton - chalais france

Hello darling, suppose a ducks out of the question,

Get your coat you've pulled

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Bet you’re dripping like a fucked fridge

Oooosshhhttt I am now.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

. Some good ones here Saff

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

. Some good ones here Saff"

Want to borrow one Nora?!?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

. Some good ones here Saff

Want to borrow one Nora?!?

I only skimmed through. I’ll go back and look who posted them

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Saff:

Wednesday 29th September @7pm

Dinner Reservation for 2 is under the name “Will”.

RSVP

Very specific

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

Get thi fanny out

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

D’ya wanna flaaaake in that luv?

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By *tes2010Man
over a year ago

Near you

I’ve witnessed a mate use this a few times…

“Do you know what, you’d love me if I wasn’t so fucking ugly”

Usually gets, “you’re not ugly!” Or “shame that isn’t it”. Either way it gets a laugh, when we were younger I reckon it worked about 60% of the time.

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Let’s go to my place and do some math. Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cock is about to leave home, he's hard work. Have you got a decent box to put him in

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By *aviniaCDTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds (close to GAP)

"Wow, you don't sweat much for a big lass!"

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

I'm no psychic but I reckon by the morning we'll both be fucked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/09/21 21:08:58]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you take it up the arse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/09/21 21:10:25]

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By *entlemenpipMan
over a year ago

not far

Blunt ok these are some of the most bluny I've heard in clubs and bars from years or bar work

Nice shoes do you fancy a fuck

Do I make you moist

Nice dress it would look better on my floor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lick this or fuck off, you really are boring me...

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By *teManc1Man
over a year ago

manchester

Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lick this or fuck off, you really are boring me..."

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By *teManc1Man
over a year ago

manchester

Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I fancy some cock on tongue for tea Pet, brace yourself

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By *ete59Man
over a year ago

Royston

How do you like your eggs cooked in the morning

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By *teManc1Man
over a year ago

manchester

Roses are red, pickles are green, I like your legs and what's in between!

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By *teManc1Man
over a year ago

manchester

Tits fanny and arse out now

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By *teManc1Man
over a year ago

manchester

Roses are red, lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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By *ananas57Couple
over a year ago

lake ariel

I use this one, I’m a slutty wife

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

If I must , I don’t mind doing care in the community

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"Show me your rat

You’re thinking of Nora… "

Lmao!! That’s def not your kind of chat up line Saff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you got any Irish in you? …….. Do you want some?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you got any Irish in you? …….. Do you want some?

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

[Removed by poster at 10/09/21 21:43:48]

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

Can I ride your log flume

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've got the buns I've got the hotdog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancy a felch?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look a lot like my next victim.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Wanna get naked?

I have actually used this line!

Mrs TMN x

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