FabSwingers.com forum: People watching

By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Does it always have to be negative?

Was with my mum the other night watching TV and every comment from her was negative....

What the fuck is that hair?!

She hasn't aged well has she?!

The state of that top!

I pulled her up on it, saying how she never said anything nice and she simply replied.... 'well you're not going to be any fun people watching on our cruise (humble holiday brag, I know

), are you?!'

Why does people watching have to be negative?!

If I comment on someone when out and about its always about how nice I think their outfit is or how oretty/handsome they are etc.

I might start a positive people watching movement lol

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I think a lot depends on mood atm, but some people cannot pull themselves out of it, I have a Negative Nancy friend and it takes a lot of energy to cope with her

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I think a lot depends on mood atm, but some people cannot pull themselves out of it, I have a Negative Nancy friend and it takes a lot of energy to cope with her"

I just know that if she heard someone talking about her like that she'd be so upset.

She was the same when we were in devon. I think that's why I get so annoyed when I'm with her. She doesn't stop talking and pretty much all if it is negative.

You're right, it's draining.

I love her and am looking forward to our holiday together. Just need to find a way to ignore this lol

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not.

In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I Was always teached if you nothing nice to say the say nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That sounds like my mum. It's draining

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

You could just lead the way! Be the one that highlights the positives, and others might just follow.

Cal

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"That sounds like my mum. It's draining

Maybe it's a generational thing. My little sister is always pulling her up about it as well. She thinks we're 'woke', I just think we're nice people lol

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"You could just lead the way! Be the one that highlights the positives, and others might just follow.

Cal"

I do try

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By *oozleMan
over a year ago

high wycombe

My mother is the same, always on about migrants, what people look like etc, I just politely remind her what would she do in their situation and make her think about things from another perspective.

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By *eresa_cdslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Bodmin

I am with Evie! I always go through life with the attitude that my drink is half full. My wife believes hers is half empty. And like Evie's mum is critical and complaining about most persons she is in contact with,especially me.

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By *antasy Explorers 1313Couple
over a year ago

A place where others reside

It's not very nice but it's always easy to find the negative rather than the positives.

We do it on date nights. Discreetly glance at tables with other people on and make up their back story and determine what sort of a date we were on.

Remember going on one and there being a man sat with two women and our minds both went to the same place as I said 'lucky guy'.

Well done for calling her up on it. Might be a generation thing because my mum does exactly the same thing. Lost count of how many times I 'look depressed, need to put weight on, need to lose weight, need a haircut' etc.....

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By *antasy Explorers 1313Couple
over a year ago

A place where others reside

Make up what sort of a date they are on, not we!

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not.

In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them. "

So any opinions that are not asked for are negative?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

Do you have any teeth left?

Why on earth would you offer your unsolicited opinion to someone? Why don't people leave others alone?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not.

In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them.

So any opinions that are not asked for are negative? "

In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want.

If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard.

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By *aby.rosaWoman
over a year ago

Midlands

Hehe I know what you mean about people watching. It can be very judgemental, but at the same time I find myself being positive about others when people watching too. I do love people watching… my question is, when does people watching become perving?

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By *urplechesterCouple
over a year ago

chester

Oh I wouldn’t be good in that situation! Positive vibes uplift me, I really struggle with negative folk! For me they’re energy vampires, and drain me very quickly. A few comments yes, but not every single one, my mums the same, I don’t see her very often haha! Miss pc

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

Do you have any teeth left?

Why on earth would you offer your unsolicited opinion to someone? Why don't people leave others alone?

First of all if this had been a female poster, you'd have had dozen females agreeing and 2 dozen more males agreeing with the females in a hope they'd get a shag.

As it's a male poster it is taken with scorn and aggression

The OP was about people watching and nothing to do with offering unsolicited opinions to strangers, and in her opinion it is negative.

But good old forum style good excuse to have a swipe at a male

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

Do you have any teeth left?

Why on earth would you offer your unsolicited opinion to someone? Why don't people leave others alone?

First of all if this had been a female poster, you'd have had dozen females agreeing and 2 dozen more males agreeing with the females in a hope they'd get a shag.

As it's a male poster it is taken with scorn and aggression

The OP was about people watching and nothing to do with offering unsolicited opinions to strangers, and in her opinion it is negative.

But good old forum style good excuse to have a swipe at a male

That's a pretty big leap there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum is the same. We were on the beach and she commented constantly on other women's bodies. I was happily perving, haha! I think it's a reflection of her insecurities though.

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By *thalMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

I make a conscious effort if I catch myself with critical or negative thoughts of anyone. i try to people watch with empathy..... I enjoy these days looking for emotions and signs of state, rushed calm, daydreaming etc then wonder what they are thinking.

Being honest it's not about other people I'm not going to talk to these people. But my heart feels better when people watching with an open mind

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By *thalMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"My mum is the same. We were on the beach and she commented constantly on other women's bodies. I was happily perving, haha! I think it's a reflection of her insecurities though. "

Agree with this a lot.

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not.

In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them.

So any opinions that are not asked for are negative?

In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want.

If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard. "

He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not.

In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them.

So any opinions that are not asked for are negative?

In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want.

If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard.

He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better"

He is voicing negativity.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not.

In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them.

So any opinions that are not asked for are negative?

In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want.

If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard.

He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better

He is voicing negativity. "

In my opinion......whivh was asked for

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

[Removed by poster at 10/09/21 09:19:18]

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

Do you have any teeth left?

Why on earth would you offer your unsolicited opinion to someone? Why don't people leave others alone?

First of all if this had been a female poster, you'd have had dozen females agreeing and 2 dozen more males agreeing with the females in a hope they'd get a shag.

As it's a male poster it is taken with scorn and aggression

The OP was about people watching and nothing to do with offering unsolicited opinions to strangers, and in her opinion it is negative.

But good old forum style good excuse to have a swipe at a male

That's a pretty big leap there

Why is it ?

"Do you have any teeth left?

Why on earth would you offer your unsolicited opinion to someone? Why don't people leave others alone?

Pretty agressive responce to my post don't you think?

Oh the comment on OP was about your mother commenting on TV, how would that be constructive criticism on someone you can't possible hear her comment.

The whole point of people watching is to observe, discus formulate opinions on, nothing todo with constructive criticism of someone they absolutely would not want to hear you

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not.

In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them.

So any opinions that are not asked for are negative?

In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want.

If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard.

He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better

He is voicing negativity. "

Which he and everyone else is allowed to do.

Nobody has to act on what someone else thinks. Accept people won't agree with your opinion and do you.

We need a balance of positive and negative.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot depends on mood atm, but some people cannot pull themselves out of it, I have a Negative Nancy friend and it takes a lot of energy to cope with her

I just know that if she heard someone talking about her like that she'd be so upset.

She was the same when we were in devon. I think that's why I get so annoyed when I'm with her. She doesn't stop talking and pretty much all if it is negative.

You're right, it's draining.

I love her and am looking forward to our holiday together. Just need to find a way to ignore this lol "

The name for them is Energy Vampires

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not.

In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them.

So any opinions that are not asked for are negative?

In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want.

If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard.

He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better

He is voicing negativity. "

Wasn't that the point made in my post that negativity is purly subjective "in your opinion - it was negativity"

My post was negative because you decided it was - so how does that make it negative?

My original post was simply pointing out that negativity is purely subjective and based on opinion of person who thinks their opinion has more value.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not.

In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them.

So any opinions that are not asked for are negative?

In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want.

If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard.

He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better

He is voicing negativity.

Wasn't that the point made in my post that negativity is purly subjective "in your opinion - it was negativity"

My post was negative because you decided it was - so how does that make it negative?

My original post was simply pointing out that negativity is purely subjective and based on opinion of person who thinks their opinion has more value.

How does me thinking your opinion is negative mean I think my opinion has more value than yours? Surely that means you think. Your opinion has more value than mine because you disagree with me?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not.

In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them.

So any opinions that are not asked for are negative?

In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want.

If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard.

He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better

He is voicing negativity.

Which he and everyone else is allowed to do.

Nobody has to act on what someone else thinks. Accept people won't agree with your opinion and do you.

We need a balance of positive and negative."

Where did I say he wasn't allowed his opinion?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alas my mum is no longer here. I think it's something that happens when they see people who don't conform in some way (dress, body shape etc) to what they consider is normal. I used to retort with a positive comment about the person and then find someone else to be positive about. It didn't stop mum but I felt a bit better and it stopped me being negative.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

It's a reflection on who you are.

Some people have go run others down to make themselves feel better.

When I people watch I try to imagine what their lives are like.

I notice things like unusual clothing or striking hair or looks.

I sometimes wonder what they are like in bed, but I don't pull them down in my head, or make negative remarks to people I'm with.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value.

I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this.

Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid?

There's a difference in critiquing someone's wardrobe to running down their appearance, I feel.

I can say I don't think that woman's dress flatters her shape, or I can say look at the bulges on her.

There's a difference and one is a negative outlook.

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

I notice people are more likely to be critical about others when the person they are critical about has a positive persona, dresses well, smiles a lot or is generally appearing happier than the miserable old git being critical. I wonder why

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

"I notice people are more likely to be critical about others when the person they are critical about has a positive persona, dresses well, smiles a lot or is generally appearing happier than the miserable old git being critical. I wonder why

Nope worked in the fashion industry for many years and simply has a view on what works and what doesn't, that is dependent on the person, what works for one doesn't necessarily work for others.

As such im a grumpy old fart that doesn't like seeing happy people. When I think that something doesn't work on someone that's being negative and critical to make me feel better about mysef. Good to know.

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By *AURA6969TV/TS
over a year ago

RUGBY

"I Was always teached if you nothing nice to say the say nothing "
This

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

My sister is the same! We went on holiday together last month! And she dont say things quiet about people! When we were out and about either! X

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Nope worked in the fashion industry for many years and simply has a view on what works and what doesn't, that is dependent on the person, what works for one doesn't necessarily work for others.

Jeez..... Why are you so triggered lol

Can you not see how someone saying 'look at the state of that!' (as that is something my mother would say bout someone in the street or on the TV) is pretty negative and nasty?

It's all in the delivery dahlink

Plus your fashion sense isn't everyone else's fashion sense. I don't like twin sets and pearls but wouldn't dream of telling beryl down the road she'd look better in something else. That's what she likes to wear and is totally feeling herself in it.

Anyone would think this thread was about you lol

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I guess we only think about or comment on extremes..... the exceptionally good or the exceptionally bad or different.

If I took a poll of the number of times your boss has spoken about things in the workforce that they are not happy with and the number of times they praised people ....... ??? results ??

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

Nope worked in the fashion industry for many years and simply has a view on what works and what doesn't, that is dependent on the person, what works for one doesn't necessarily work for others.

I'm a little confused with your reply... Are you saying you judge people and you know what is be better for them because you have worked in the fashion industry?

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

We people watch all the time it will be a mixture of positive (he/she looks nice, like that dress etc), negative (critisms of clothes, hair you name it we have probably commented on it) and things we find funny such as the other day when a seagull shit on a guy as he walked by.

Mrs Tyne offered him a tissue whilst trying to tell him it was supposed to be lucky. Which I found even funnier as he was not a happy chap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only crashed my car once and it because I saw a woman with an amazing arse and didn't stop at the lights. Hit a transit van (very gently) but cost me 600 to replace it's bumper. Totally worth it. That bum was a work of art! M

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

Nope worked in the fashion industry for many years and simply has a view on what works and what doesn't, that is dependent on the person, what works for one doesn't necessarily work for others.

Jeez..... Why are you so triggered lol

Can you not see how someone saying 'look at the state of that!' (as that is something my mother would say bout someone in the street or on the TV) is pretty negative and nasty?

It's all in the delivery dahlink

Anyone would think this thread was about you lol "

I simply said thet negativity is purley subjective and negativity is simply based on a persons opinion value compared to othes but that doesn't make it so.

Followed up by saying that i often have the look at what people are wearing and often see things that i dont think works, (people watching) but somehow that was a negative in someone elses opinion - and i shouldn't have such opinions. Which was the point about negativity being subjective.

And reponses were as expected

Nothing about being triggered just expected what followed, no surprises

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

"We people watch all the time it will be a mixture of positive (he/she looks nice, like that dress etc), negative (critisms of clothes, hair you name it we have probably commented on it) and things we find funny such as the other day when a seagull shit on a guy as he walked by. "

This...I'd never say anything that people could hear. It's not a criticism or intended to offend, just an observation or opinion. We sat outside a cafe last weekend laughing at the guy in the cobblers opposite perving at ladies when they walked past...I think he thought he was being discreet, but he really wasn't

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