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"I think a lot depends on mood atm, but some people cannot pull themselves out of it, I have a Negative Nancy friend and it takes a lot of energy to cope with her" I just know that if she heard someone talking about her like that she'd be so upset. She was the same when we were in devon. I think that's why I get so annoyed when I'm with her. She doesn't stop talking and pretty much all if it is negative. You're right, it's draining. I love her and am looking forward to our holiday together. Just need to find a way to ignore this lol | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? " But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not. In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them. | |||
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"That sounds like my mum. It's draining " Maybe it's a generational thing. My little sister is always pulling her up about it as well. She thinks we're 'woke', I just think we're nice people lol | |||
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"You could just lead the way! Be the one that highlights the positives, and others might just follow. Cal" I do try | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not. In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them. " So any opinions that are not asked for are negative? | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? " Do you have any teeth left? Why on earth would you offer your unsolicited opinion to someone? Why don't people leave others alone? | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not. In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them. So any opinions that are not asked for are negative? " In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want. If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard. | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? Do you have any teeth left? Why on earth would you offer your unsolicited opinion to someone? Why don't people leave others alone? " First of all if this had been a female poster, you'd have had dozen females agreeing and 2 dozen more males agreeing with the females in a hope they'd get a shag. As it's a male poster it is taken with scorn and aggression The OP was about people watching and nothing to do with offering unsolicited opinions to strangers, and in her opinion it is negative. But good old forum style good excuse to have a swipe at a male | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? Do you have any teeth left? Why on earth would you offer your unsolicited opinion to someone? Why don't people leave others alone? First of all if this had been a female poster, you'd have had dozen females agreeing and 2 dozen more males agreeing with the females in a hope they'd get a shag. As it's a male poster it is taken with scorn and aggression The OP was about people watching and nothing to do with offering unsolicited opinions to strangers, and in her opinion it is negative. But good old forum style good excuse to have a swipe at a male " That's a pretty big leap there | |||
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"My mum is the same. We were on the beach and she commented constantly on other women's bodies. I was happily perving, haha! I think it's a reflection of her insecurities though. " Agree with this a lot. | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not. In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them. So any opinions that are not asked for are negative? In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want. If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard. " He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not. In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them. So any opinions that are not asked for are negative? In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want. If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard. He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better" He is voicing negativity. | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not. In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them. So any opinions that are not asked for are negative? In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want. If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard. He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better He is voicing negativity. " In my opinion......whivh was asked for | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? Do you have any teeth left? Why on earth would you offer your unsolicited opinion to someone? Why don't people leave others alone? First of all if this had been a female poster, you'd have had dozen females agreeing and 2 dozen more males agreeing with the females in a hope they'd get a shag. As it's a male poster it is taken with scorn and aggression The OP was about people watching and nothing to do with offering unsolicited opinions to strangers, and in her opinion it is negative. But good old forum style good excuse to have a swipe at a male That's a pretty big leap there " Why is it ? "Do you have any teeth left? Why on earth would you offer your unsolicited opinion to someone? Why don't people leave others alone? " Pretty agressive responce to my post don't you think? Oh the comment on OP was about your mother commenting on TV, how would that be constructive criticism on someone you can't possible hear her comment. The whole point of people watching is to observe, discus formulate opinions on, nothing todo with constructive criticism of someone they absolutely would not want to hear you | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not. In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them. So any opinions that are not asked for are negative? In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want. If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard. He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better He is voicing negativity. " Which he and everyone else is allowed to do. Nobody has to act on what someone else thinks. Accept people won't agree with your opinion and do you. We need a balance of positive and negative. | |||
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"I think a lot depends on mood atm, but some people cannot pull themselves out of it, I have a Negative Nancy friend and it takes a lot of energy to cope with her I just know that if she heard someone talking about her like that she'd be so upset. She was the same when we were in devon. I think that's why I get so annoyed when I'm with her. She doesn't stop talking and pretty much all if it is negative. You're right, it's draining. I love her and am looking forward to our holiday together. Just need to find a way to ignore this lol " The name for them is Energy Vampires | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not. In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them. So any opinions that are not asked for are negative? In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want. If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard. He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better He is voicing negativity. " Wasn't that the point made in my post that negativity is purly subjective "in your opinion - it was negativity" My post was negative because you decided it was - so how does that make it negative? My original post was simply pointing out that negativity is purely subjective and based on opinion of person who thinks their opinion has more value. | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not. In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them. So any opinions that are not asked for are negative? In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want. If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard. He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better He is voicing negativity. Wasn't that the point made in my post that negativity is purly subjective "in your opinion - it was negativity" My post was negative because you decided it was - so how does that make it negative? My original post was simply pointing out that negativity is purely subjective and based on opinion of person who thinks their opinion has more value. " How does me thinking your opinion is negative mean I think my opinion has more value than yours? Surely that means you think. Your opinion has more value than mine because you disagree with me? | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? But why say it if you are not asked for your opinion. That's what makes it negative in my eyes. Not wether I disagree with it or not. In my example of my mum, she wasn't giving her opinion to someone in the hope they'd find it constructive. She was just being bitchy about them. So any opinions that are not asked for are negative? In your example, yes. Just because you don't like something, doesn't mean they don't. Your style is your style. Let them do theirs how they want. If they ask for constructive criticism then that's all well and good. Crack on, but be constructive about it. It's not hard. He is letting them do as they want. He is voicing his opinion. He is not dragging them to the nearest clothing store and buying them clothing he thinks suits them better He is voicing negativity. Which he and everyone else is allowed to do. Nobody has to act on what someone else thinks. Accept people won't agree with your opinion and do you. We need a balance of positive and negative." Where did I say he wasn't allowed his opinion? | |||
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"Negativity like in the forums is purely subjective. Negativity is such a miss used word and it is simply based on whether somebody else feels their opinion has more value. I am a terrible dress critic, when I see people I often say that really doesn't go with that or that really does nothing for you! You could be soo much more if you did this. Is that negativity or simply an opinion? If someone disagrees, does that make those opinions more valid? " There's a difference in critiquing someone's wardrobe to running down their appearance, I feel. I can say I don't think that woman's dress flatters her shape, or I can say look at the bulges on her. There's a difference and one is a negative outlook. | |||
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"I notice people are more likely to be critical about others when the person they are critical about has a positive persona, dresses well, smiles a lot or is generally appearing happier than the miserable old git being critical. I wonder why " Nope worked in the fashion industry for many years and simply has a view on what works and what doesn't, that is dependent on the person, what works for one doesn't necessarily work for others. As such im a grumpy old fart that doesn't like seeing happy people. When I think that something doesn't work on someone that's being negative and critical to make me feel better about mysef. Good to know. | |||
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"I Was always teached if you nothing nice to say the say nothing " This | |||
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"I notice people are more likely to be critical about others when the person they are critical about has a positive persona, dresses well, smiles a lot or is generally appearing happier than the miserable old git being critical. I wonder why Nope worked in the fashion industry for many years and simply has a view on what works and what doesn't, that is dependent on the person, what works for one doesn't necessarily work for others. As such im a grumpy old fart that doesn't like seeing happy people. When I think that something doesn't work on someone that's being negative and critical to make me feel better about mysef. Good to know. " Jeez..... Why are you so triggered lol Can you not see how someone saying 'look at the state of that!' (as that is something my mother would say bout someone in the street or on the TV) is pretty negative and nasty? It's all in the delivery dahlink Plus your fashion sense isn't everyone else's fashion sense. I don't like twin sets and pearls but wouldn't dream of telling beryl down the road she'd look better in something else. That's what she likes to wear and is totally feeling herself in it. Anyone would think this thread was about you lol | |||
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"I notice people are more likely to be critical about others when the person they are critical about has a positive persona, dresses well, smiles a lot or is generally appearing happier than the miserable old git being critical. I wonder why Nope worked in the fashion industry for many years and simply has a view on what works and what doesn't, that is dependent on the person, what works for one doesn't necessarily work for others. As such im a grumpy old fart that doesn't like seeing happy people. When I think that something doesn't work on someone that's being negative and critical to make me feel better about mysef. Good to know. " I'm a little confused with your reply... Are you saying you judge people and you know what is be better for them because you have worked in the fashion industry? | |||
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"I notice people are more likely to be critical about others when the person they are critical about has a positive persona, dresses well, smiles a lot or is generally appearing happier than the miserable old git being critical. I wonder why Nope worked in the fashion industry for many years and simply has a view on what works and what doesn't, that is dependent on the person, what works for one doesn't necessarily work for others. As such im a grumpy old fart that doesn't like seeing happy people. When I think that something doesn't work on someone that's being negative and critical to make me feel better about mysef. Good to know. Jeez..... Why are you so triggered lol Can you not see how someone saying 'look at the state of that!' (as that is something my mother would say bout someone in the street or on the TV) is pretty negative and nasty? It's all in the delivery dahlink Plus your fashion sense isn't everyone else's fashion sense. I don't like twin sets and pearls but wouldn't dream of telling beryl down the road she'd look better in something else. That's what she likes to wear and is totally feeling herself in it. Anyone would think this thread was about you lol " I simply said thet negativity is purley subjective and negativity is simply based on a persons opinion value compared to othes but that doesn't make it so. Followed up by saying that i often have the look at what people are wearing and often see things that i dont think works, (people watching) but somehow that was a negative in someone elses opinion - and i shouldn't have such opinions. Which was the point about negativity being subjective. And reponses were as expected Nothing about being triggered just expected what followed, no surprises | |||
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"We people watch all the time it will be a mixture of positive (he/she looks nice, like that dress etc), negative (critisms of clothes, hair you name it we have probably commented on it) and things we find funny such as the other day when a seagull shit on a guy as he walked by. " This...I'd never say anything that people could hear. It's not a criticism or intended to offend, just an observation or opinion. We sat outside a cafe last weekend laughing at the guy in the cobblers opposite perving at ladies when they walked past...I think he thought he was being discreet, but he really wasn't | |||
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