FabSwingers.com forum: Strong Dom or playful

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you lady's prefer aggressive Dom's or more playful Dom's I:E actions have repercussions spanking etc. I have always been curious as I have had a mixture of both women and was wondering what the majority thoughts are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could you clarify what you mean by aggressive?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I prefer no Doms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been told several times I'm too "nice" to be a Dom! It isn't all about screaming at people lol

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Aggressive sounds like loss of control so that's a no.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Like forceful but within safety obvs hair pulling picking up throwing on bed etc just acts that seem like aggression but you know your safe I have had so many mixed women over the years in just curious what women act mean over all by Dom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like an assertive man , no thank you to aggressive

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeh that's what I meant just phrased wrong you know what I mean

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

I prefer non doms as they are usually absolutely loaded.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like forceful but within safety obvs hair pulling picking up throwing on bed etc just acts that seem like aggression but you know your safe I have had so many mixed women over the years in just curious what women act mean over all by Dom "

I think "aggressive" is a poor choice of words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i like a dom who ''fits me'' and what i want i love a sexual dom who not shy a little force here n there but mainly just sexual dom ... no bdsm but that the main prob most doms think it all whip n chains rather than just natural dom

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I like a threesome with two Doms, one who praises me and one who verbally humiliates me.

I call it good top, bad top.

(Not even sorry)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I agree tbf wasn't sure how to phrase it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's what I mean a natural Dom or whips and cuffs and that? I'll admit I may have phrased it wrong assertive would have been the better way to put it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like a threesome with two Doms, one who praises me and one who verbally humiliates me.

I call it good top, bad top.

(Not even sorry)"

Very good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer a controlled Dom who knows limits and boundaries, respects and is constantly working with his sub to bring out the best in both of them.

Its not all about spankings, whips, chains and the like it's about communication, trust and a special bond.

Anyone who uses the term aggression to describe their Dom/me should be out of there as it shows a lack of understanding about the scene.

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Surely you've answered your own question by saying you've had so many women liking different things over the years...

I dont like people that call themselves a dom - but I like to be dominated on occasion.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"That's what I mean a natural Dom or whips and cuffs and that? I'll admit I may have phrased it wrong assertive would have been the better way to put it "

Unsure that natural Dom is the correct phraseology either. Comes across as one kind is better than the other.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's the point they try and classify you as a Dom when really you just adjust to what your sexual partner at the time likes its just varies so much I was curious I can adjust accordingly to the other person wether it's passionate or otherwise

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I like a threesome with two Doms, one who praises me and one who verbally humiliates me.

I call it good top, bad top.

(Not even sorry)"

This made me laugh far too much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a good friend of mine once said, "you're not a Dom, you're my Dom" I think thats sums it up. Everyone wants something unique to them and every dynamic is different

That's the joy and wonder of BDSM

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I mean I was curious what the majority class Dom as hence the forum post

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

To me my Dom is playful, nurturing, strict and many other things in-between. It's a fluid thing that alters with our moods, same as any other dynamic.

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I like a dom who takes his time to get to know me, reads my body and adjusts his approach. I had a dom who knew me better than I knew myself so he knew how firm to be and also knew I hated humiliation so he always praised me which made me want to please him

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"That's the point they try and classify you as a Dom when really you just adjust to what your sexual partner at the time likes its just varies so much I was curious I can adjust accordingly to the other person wether it's passionate or otherwise "

As a Dom(me) its not on you to adjust to what your partner wants, its a two way street and ideally you find someone who enjoys what you enjoy. Sure you can tailor or hold back some things you enjoy that they don’t, but if you stop doing what you enjoy then you aren't being true to yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I prefer a controlled Dom who knows limits and boundaries, respects and is constantly working with his sub to bring out the best in both of them.

Its not all about spankings, whips, chains and the like it's about communication, trust and a special bond.

Anyone who uses the term aggression to describe their Dom/me should be out of there as it shows a lack of understanding about the scene."

This ^

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Tbf that's a bang on answer I tend to adjust to what ever the vibe is I don't act have a preference either way I can do either I'm very fluid I enjoy all types of sex I'm very much more aware of making sure the other party enjoys the experience as much as I do I would never do anything I'm not into obvs but I'm very flexible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems that people want to take the S&M out of BDSM. As a sensual Sadist is so hard to find willing play partners. It's all foot worship, face sitting and pegging these days. Sadly they are not my thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like a dom who takes his time to get to know me, reads my body and adjusts his approach. I had a dom who knew me better than I knew myself so he knew how firm to be and also knew I hated humiliation so he always praised me which made me want to please him"

I agree. My Dom also knows me better than I know myself, because he listened, watched and learnt me. He can push me because he knows how to read me, and will notice the smallest reaction from me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of men who clam to be Dom’s have actually no idea

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

"A lot of men who clam to be Dom’s have actually no idea"
takes two communication.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

Dom has nothing to do with being aggressive rather assertive and trust. Getting the lady to relax and understand her kink, what she enjoys, what is her fantasy? it is role-playing and exploring, getting deep in her head with the right words, touches, read her face and body. Some like it gentle, some aggressive and some a bit of both. the end goal is a pleasurable experience on both side.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My DOMS get really sore the day after a workout

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lot of men who clam to be Dom’s have actually no idea takes two communication. "

It does, but if you have someone who doesn’t listen, and doesn’t respect your boundaries and limits, it doesn’t matter how good your communication is?

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"A lot of men who clam to be Dom’s have actually no idea takes two communication.

It does, but if you have someone who doesn’t listen, and doesn’t respect your boundaries and limits, it doesn’t matter how good your communication is?"

Same though vice versa (and I was guilty of this in the past) of not explaining what I wanted/needed from a scene and placed too much pressure on M as a consequence. We work so much better now we have a better 2 way communication.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dom has nothing to do with being aggressive rather assertive and trust. Getting the lady to relax and understand her kink, what she enjoys, what is her fantasy? it is role-playing and exploring, getting deep in her head with the right words, touches, read her face and body. Some like it gentle, some aggressive and some a bit of both. the end goal is a pleasurable experience on both side.

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My DOMS get really sore the day after a workout

It's different for men on men tho isn't it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I prefer no Doms "

Also this

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

You can’t just rule out aggression in dominance , some women like that , you can’t dictate what kink people are into because it’s uncomfortable, some don’t want to relax and want to be ja little outside their comfort zone with someone they trust . The key thing is consent and self control , not style. Styles like primal and even lustful can appear quite aggressive

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I like a threesome with two Doms, one who praises me and one who verbally humiliates me.

I call it good top, bad top.

(Not even sorry)"

I love you

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"I like a threesome with two Doms, one who praises me and one who verbally humiliates me.

I call it good top, bad top.

(Not even sorry)

I love you"

Entirely mutual!

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

"Surely you've answered your own question by saying you've had so many women liking different things over the years...

I dont like people that call themselves a dom - but I like to be dominated on occasion. "

About right for me too.

I have a guy who organises blindfolded gang bangs for me.

I have to trust him to check for condoms etc.

He is more an organiser than a dom but I like him to run the night and tell me what to do.

But at the end of the day he knows and so do the rest of the guys it's really me in control.

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