FabSwingers.com forum: Which is more...

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Which is more important...

What you say or how you say it?

Words can take on different meanings depending on the context, inflection, facial expressions, body language, and countless other factors. Is it the content which matters, or how the content is portrayed?

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By *ickyquimCouple
over a year ago

north west

The portrayal - I think anyone can whisper sweet nothings.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Definitely for me it is how the words are said.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

For me, what you do rather than what/how you say something.

Mrs TMN x

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Visiting Blackpool

It has to be how you say it. Look up the comedian Jimeoin (eyebrows!) asking "How's your daughter?" in two different styles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Words are so powerful OP. This is a great question when it comes to communication.

The words that are used can make sure of clarity and some sign of EQ but also values and beliefs.

They way they are delivered is also just as important as this can show passion amongst other things.

I’m not sure that you can deliver what you want to say without having the words to start with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both, to the point I’d never have a sensitive conversation over messages as they always come across the wrong way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which is more important...

What you say or how you say it?

Both are vital, on which context and circumstances it is being said.

If girl friend is saying Yes without smile than man knows the real meaning of Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actions supporting said words take a precedence over what and how.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But if I had to chose its how things are said.. I prefer challenging conversations over phone or in person not texting. Lots gets lost in translation/interpretation.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I find someone can say something but their actions say something entirely different x

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Any one can whisper you anything does not mean there’s any truth in it

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Any one can whisper you anything does not mean there’s any truth in it "

Very true x

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Actions and words go hand in hand.

That’s why social media messaging has to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Impossible to judge the context……

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Actions and words go hand in hand.

That’s why social media messaging has to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Impossible to judge the context……"

So what do you do when the actions dont match the words??

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"For me, what you do rather than what/how you say something.

Mrs TMN x"

I'd agree with this. Words can carry a lot of meaning, of course. The intent and the actions that match are the most important. If there's a disparity between the two I'd either politely reference it or distance myself depending on how frequently the disparities happen.

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"Actions and words go hand in hand.

That’s why social media messaging has to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Impossible to judge the context……

So what do you do when the actions dont match the words??"

Address the issue if it means something to you, ignore if it doesn’t..

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By *hilledcouple500Couple
over a year ago

telford

https://www.bl.uk/people/albert-mehrabian

The godfather of theories on this.

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Actions speak louder then words x

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Actions speak louder then words x "

They certainly do, some people forget that though x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Both, to the point I’d never have a sensitive conversation over messages as they always come across the wrong way "

Agreed. Its depends on the subject of discussion and who the convo is with x

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

"Actions speak louder then words x

They certainly do, some people forget that though x"

I don't always back up wot I say I can do x

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Actions speak louder then words x

They certainly do, some people forget that though x

I don't always back up wot I say I can do x "

Why not? x

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

"Actions speak louder then words x

They certainly do, some people forget that though x

I don't always back up wot I say I can do x

Why not? x"

Ment it 2 say I don't forget ..I always back up wot I say x

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

[Removed by poster at 09/09/21 13:31:35]

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Actions speak louder then words x

They certainly do, some people forget that though x

I don't always back up wot I say I can do x

Why not? x

Ment it 2 say I don't forget ..I always back up wot I say x "

Always?? x

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

"Actions speak louder then words x

They certainly do, some people forget that though x

I don't always back up wot I say I can do x

Why not? x

Ment it 2 say I don't forget ..I always back up wot I say x

Always?? x"

Only 1 way 2 find out lol x

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Which is more important...

What you say or how you say it?

Context in terms of who the person is to you should be factored in.

You can say “your a cunt” in the nicest way possible to a stranger, it’s still not gonna go over well. It’s almost a compliment between friends though

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

Grammar.

I want to eat, granny

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Actions speak louder then words x

They certainly do, some people forget that though x

I don't always back up wot I say I can do x

Why not? x

Ment it 2 say I don't forget ..I always back up wot I say x

Always?? x

Only 1 way 2 find out lol x "

Sounds like a challenge x

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

"Which is more important...

What you say or how you say it?

I'd say a mixture of both.

The content matters, as well as how it is portrayed.

This means, never take words at their face value. Always read the body language as well.

For example, I could say "I don't want to go out to dinner". But I could casually look at the door.

My verbal intent is clear. But what about my body language. It belies my real intent. I do want to go out. I just don't want to vocalise it. The glance to the door is a visual cue to you to say "Oh come on, it will be fun, let's go eat".

So much of human communication is not spoken. It's subtle and needs careful reading.

The real masters of non-verbal communication are those who actively use it to lead others where they want them to be led. This takes a lot of practice, but can be done.

Spend an hour with a partner, without verbalising, just using body language.

See how "in tune" you are with each other

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Trying to get your words seen, yet alone read or have the chance to follow them up is a whole different ballgame on here…

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

"Actions speak louder then words x

They certainly do, some people forget that though x

I don't always back up wot I say I can do x

Why not? x

Ment it 2 say I don't forget ..I always back up wot I say x

Always?? x

Only 1 way 2 find out lol x

Sounds like a challenge x"

1 I except lol x

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Actions speak louder then words x

They certainly do, some people forget that though x

I don't always back up wot I say I can do x

Why not? x

Ment it 2 say I don't forget ..I always back up wot I say x

Always?? x

Only 1 way 2 find out lol x

Sounds like a challenge x

1 I except lol x "

Shouldn't I be the one accepting the challenge? x

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

"Actions speak louder then words x

They certainly do, some people forget that though x

I don't always back up wot I say I can do x

Why not? x

Ment it 2 say I don't forget ..I always back up wot I say x

Always?? x

Only 1 way 2 find out lol x

Sounds like a challenge x

1 I except lol x

Shouldn't I be the one accepting the challenge? x"

Of course .sorry got carried away with myself x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actions supporting said words take a precedence over what and how. "

This everytime! Talk is cheap, following up on it is the hard part & being consistent!

Still a nice compliment or pick me up is always nice

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Actions supporting said words take a precedence over what and how.

This everytime! Talk is cheap, following up on it is the hard part & being consistent!

Still a nice compliment or pick me up is always nice

They can be but some are hard to believe x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actions supporting said words take a precedence over what and how.

This everytime! Talk is cheap, following up on it is the hard part & being consistent!

Still a nice compliment or pick me up is always nice

They can be but some are hard to believe x"

If you know the person you can judge the sincerity based on past behaviour and either acknowledge and move on without giving it a 2nd thought or take it at face value

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Actions supporting said words take a precedence over what and how.

This everytime! Talk is cheap, following up on it is the hard part & being consistent!

Still a nice compliment or pick me up is always nice

They can be but some are hard to believe x

If you know the person you can judge the sincerity based on past behaviour and either acknowledge and move on without giving it a 2nd thought or take it at face value "

Guess I'm just to cynical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actions supporting said words take a precedence over what and how.

This everytime! Talk is cheap, following up on it is the hard part & being consistent!

Still a nice compliment or pick me up is always nice

They can be but some are hard to believe x

If you know the person you can judge the sincerity based on past behaviour and either acknowledge and move on without giving it a 2nd thought or take it at face value

Guess I'm just to cynical

Probably a reflection of someone or someone's not being good to you in the past. I hope it's not but as hard as it is it's best to look forward, act in good faith and hope to receive that in return (and learn the lessons from those who burned you).

We can always be better people, it's just hard work so never give up and let other ppl do what they need to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s both, I think the right words said in the right way can be a powerful action… yet the same words in a message read in a different way as they rolled off your younger as you write them can be interpreted in a completely different way.

I’ve used my words as actions do many times

A few well chosen words said to someone that you care about dearly can have an amazing response. Especially if they know you and believe you.

Yet I’ve also used my words in completely volatile situations where my use of words as a direct response as talked down people to my way of thinking and de escalated situations.

And at times it’s me who’s needed to back down in situations where I’ve used banter, cheek and respect to talk down people too.

Words snd the way they are spoken go hand in hand for me OP

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Actions supporting said words take a precedence over what and how.

This everytime! Talk is cheap, following up on it is the hard part & being consistent!

Still a nice compliment or pick me up is always nice

They can be but some are hard to believe x

If you know the person you can judge the sincerity based on past behaviour and either acknowledge and move on without giving it a 2nd thought or take it at face value

Guess I'm just to cynical

We can always be better people, it's just hard work so never give up and let other ppl do what they need to do

Definitely a reflection. That's why I now take anything said with a pinch of salt until I'm proven differently, unfortunately that hasn't happen yet but who knows...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s both, I think the right words said in the right way can be a powerful action… yet the same words in a message read in a different way as they rolled off your tongue as you write them can be interpreted in a completely different way.

I’ve used my words as actions so many times

A few well chosen words said to someone that you care about dearly can have an amazing response. Especially if they know you and believe you.

Yet I’ve also used my words in completely volatile situations where my use of words as a direct response as talked down people to my way of thinking and de escalated situations.

And at times it’s me who’s needed to back down in situations where I’ve used banter, cheek and respect to talk down people too.

Words and the way they are spoken go hand in hand for me OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actions supporting said words take a precedence over what and how.

This everytime! Talk is cheap, following up on it is the hard part & being consistent!

Still a nice compliment or pick me up is always nice

They can be but some are hard to believe x

If you know the person you can judge the sincerity based on past behaviour and either acknowledge and move on without giving it a 2nd thought or take it at face value

Guess I'm just to cynical

We can always be better people, it's just hard work so never give up and let other ppl do what they need to do

Definitely a reflection. That's why I now take anything said with a pinch of salt until I'm proven differently, unfortunately that hasn't happen yet but who knows..."

Give yourself a break & you will be better for it. It's mentally tough to always be switched on, if you can work on switching off a bit and going with the flow sometimes you will be better for it.

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Both. You can say harsh things nicely and nice intentions can be easily misunderstood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Which is more important...

What you say or how you say it?

Both are equally important, but not as important as actions.

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By *ibonacciMan
over a year ago

hidden location

"Which is more important...

What you say or how you say it?

You're asking a question that is generational now. Millennials by and large have only learned to communicate via apps and so all the nuance of personal contact is lost.

Throw in lockdowns over the past 18 months where more people are using online video calling and interpersonal communication is fast becoming a dying art..

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Which is more important...

What you say or how you say it?

I'd say both, but just think how easy it is for something written on here, or in a DM or text, to be taken out of context because you can't hear the writer's inflection on the words

Got me into trouble several times in the past, that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Which is more important...

What you say or how you say it?

I'd say both, but just think how easy it is for something written on here, or in a DM or text, to be taken out of context because you can't hear the writer's inflection on the words

Got me into trouble several times in the past, that

You're not the only one

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Out of the two for me it is What I say

I can say Stop in 20 different ways and not be heard

But if I say Help once instead all attention is on me

People will take words in different contexts so having the ability to get through with the massive choice of words we have is empowering

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actions supporting said words take a precedence over what and how.

This everytime! Talk is cheap, following up on it is the hard part & being consistent!

Still a nice compliment or pick me up is always nice

Of course they are. Never too much of that as long as genuinely meant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actions supporting said words take a precedence over what and how.

This everytime! Talk is cheap, following up on it is the hard part & being consistent!

Still a nice compliment or pick me up is always nice

Of course they are. Never too much of that as long as genuinely meant

Your lips are very fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actions supporting said words take a precedence over what and how.

This everytime! Talk is cheap, following up on it is the hard part & being consistent!

Still a nice compliment or pick me up is always nice

Of course they are. Never too much of that as long as genuinely meant

Your lips are very fine

Only the top one is fine. The bottom is nice and full.

thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actions supporting said words take a precedence over what and how.

This everytime! Talk is cheap, following up on it is the hard part & being consistent!

Still a nice compliment or pick me up is always nice

Of course they are. Never too much of that as long as genuinely meant

Your lips are very fine

Only the top one is fine. The bottom is nice and full.

thanks "

Only way to truly know is to take them for a test drive

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

"Which is more important...

What you say or how you say it?

What is written, how its written and what's not written tells a story.

Women and guys have a different way of expressing themselves, the choices of words and the way they write. If you understand this.

Both in profiles and forum posts especially with couples, you can easily tell within a few words whether a post was writen by the male or female. Just because they sign it mr or mrs or names. You know which party has written it.

Can easily spot when the male is pretending to be female, can think of at least 3 or 4 currently.

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