FabSwingers.com forum: Newly single

By *entlemenpip OP Man
over a year ago

not far

So I'm single for the first time in a decade and well my toxic relatioship has sapped me of my confidence a friend took me out for a drink( 20) the other day and well he's a center of attention type of guy like I used to be and I was sat there having people talk over me and I felt so shit I k ow I time ill get back to my old self but anyone have any advice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No advice really because you already know it'll take time.

As my dad says"head down and keep pedalling, you'll get there"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As above advice...

You will gradually gain confidence and social skills. Just keep telling yourself you can do it.

It is helpful if you have a friend who can encourage you to do things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Aye, it can't be rushed I'm afraid and any attempt to will make you feel like shit, like you're a failure and there's something wrong with you.

I know, believe me I know.

You ain't the person you used to be and that's a tough pill to swallow, especially when you ain't too keen on the new version.

I found myself and now I'm lost again after another unhealthy relationship.

This time I'm plodding. I don't know if it's right or wrong, but I'm waking up each morning and accepting who I am right now, at this moment

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kind of know how you feel mate. My ex put me down for too long in the last couple of years we were together and I lost all confidence. But we been divorced 4 years and its slowly coming back. Sometimes in bursts. You will get there eventually. And you will be better for it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess it's different for everyone but is was my toxic relationship that sapped my confidence with the opposite sex. Going online after is what have it back, pretty damn quick to be honest. I felt attractive and desired again. Your time will come why your ready, but it will come back. Best of luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You will be that person again. I left a LTR after nearly 20 years and it took a full year for me to get some confidence back because it had leached all of mine. It just takes time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not much I can add, other than are there any things you used to do back then that made you feel the way you did?

Perhaps getting back to one or more of them will help you on the journey……?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"So I'm single for the first time in a decade and well my toxic relatioship has sapped me of my confidence a friend took me out for a drink( 20) the other day and well he's a center of attention type of guy like I used to be and I was sat there having people talk over me and I felt so shit I k ow I time ill get back to my old self but anyone have any advice "

I have been where you are now but 5 years on things have changed. It is a tricky road to recovery when someone destroys your soul and knocks your confidence but you will bounce back if you stay strong. My dogs have been my best medicine.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hear you op, I’ve been there.

I found doing a lot of work on my self (ongoing) afterwards helped.

Some you can do alone, some you need to do with support (whatever form that takes for you).

It will take time and patience, but above all, be gentle with yourself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entlemenpip OP Man
over a year ago

not far

Thank you everyone as I said I know there is no quick fix i just have to keep at it and hopeful I'll once again see myself as attractive again and I know this community will help with that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread