FabSwingers.com forum: What’s your weirdest house mate or house guest story?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OK let's hear them.

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

Housemate... came home one night after a night out to tell me about the lovely guy she met... was it ok to invite him back?

Yeah... it's your room... do what you want.

She went into said room and promptly fell asleep.

A 6th sense told me to go to the front door...

Poor chap was sat on the landing, freezing his butt off... he was scared of dogs and she told him she'd ask me to put them away... she forgot to tell me that part!

Long story short, put dogs on leads, he came in, had a cuppa and a blether with me.... and the dogs!

She woke up an hour later as if nothing had transpired and wheeched him into her room

Ok... more funny than weird... but I still mind opening the door in my jammies to that poor, patient young man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when i was living in glasgow i stayed with a mate in a shared house until i got sorted and there was this guy living there who would always come in pissed around 4am, leave his fast food scattered all over the living room floor.

the toilet he would always be sick in or over and never flush it, and some how all the milk in the fridge would vanish.

he wasnt that well liked and really didnt care what anyone else thought.

there was a drawing of lots each week by the housemates to try and get the 'kin cunt' with some plan.

mouse traps on his bed failed.

putting laxative in the milk failed.

even leaving broken glass on the floor in the living room he dodged the lot.

until day i said 'how does he get up the stairs that pissed?'

they all looked at me and smiled.

we all together mr sheened up the banister rail like mad and it was deadly. is was glossy and you could see your face in it.

so excitedly we all went to our rooms, waiting for the 'kin cunt' to turn up and sure enough around 4am the keys in the door.

the fridge was slammed, and we heard the telling fart he was on his way up.

next was the yawning sound and his stomach contents hitting the pan and splashing on the floor.

then slowly swearing to himself he was one foot off the top stair and AAARRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH down he went smashing the banister to pieces.

a cheer went up from the masses, church bells rang, white doves were released and shagging started in celebration as if celtic had beaten rangers.

it was a day to remember.

he left about a month later after recovering from his wounds.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Not my house but a friend of mine was thrown out of his house by his Mrs. Another friend said he could sleep on his couch for the night and took him out for a pint to drown his sorrows. Anyway they both proceed to get blind d*unk and then headed back. The guy on the couch was so pissed that he shit himself in the middle of the night and it went all over the couch. The Mrs of the guy who took him in went downstairs about 7am for work and opened the living room door to be greated by a scene from Physco but in shit

He was thrown out of that house too and they’ve never spoken since

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lived with a guy when I was a student who existed on dry cornflakes for breakfast and 2 slices of bread and butter with a couple of slices of mild cheddar for every other meal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I was the loony housemate

Imagine... Getting home off a nightshift, getting harassed by the neighbours cos there had been naked women 'parading up and down outside at god knows what hour' then coming in and finding one of said women in your bed and a bath filled with squashed strawberries and champagne bottles, a living room trashed, a kitchen trashed

To this day, I'm still not sure what happened that night

I remember going out for a, quiet drink, somebody getting their tits out in a taxi, a car alarm going off and sitting on the sofa watching my friend shag a girl I worked with whilst me and her friend ate pringles naked and marked them out of 10 for performance

I moved out about 18 months after

Next door never spoke to me again

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Im going admit I completely forgot about this post but some of these are really funny.

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By *ristol HellfireMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Shared a room (two single beds) at a military establishment with another professional on the same training course.

He had a habit of coming in pissed after closing time in the local pub and falling asleep on his bed.

I recall several disturbances of my sleep over the period of the course in which, in the middle of the night, I would be trying to work out if I was asleep and dreaming or awake as he opened the room's wardrobe and pissed inside.

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Ivy moved in for 3 weeks when the first lockdown happened, was still here almost 18 months later

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By *ookingfun82Man
over a year ago

Enniskillen

I don't laugh at much but I laughed at that.

One I remember is going back to a friends house after a night out, finding one of his flatmates out cold asleep lying halfway up the stairs couple steps from his room. Next morning he didn't remember a thing or believe me. Wished I had taken a photo but that was Nokia 3310 days so could hardly have made it out anyway.

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