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 or a "nice arse/tits/leg/ankle/collarbone" wouldn't go amiss. Don't feel like you can't like what and who you like. Especially here, but in the real world too. | |||
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" Ever feel like that's what you are? Back in the day when I used to go out, or when I was working behind the bar, I'd often feel like it. Men would chat, but never flirt with me until the end of the night when they were d*unk, or when their friends had gone home. I was the fat bird. They'd never want their friends to know they fancied anyone outside of the "norm" and it made me feel like crap. And sometimes that can happen on here too. I'll realise that the things someone says in private aren't mirrored by any kind of flirting or even acknowledgement of existence on the forum. At all. I know that most people like to keep their "actual interest" private, and for a bundle of damn good reasons. I don't announce these things on the forum..... cue a bunch of eye rolls.... but it's true, I'm an equal opportunities forum flirt..... but I also don't go the other way and not flirt with someone I may be talking to privately. Because it feels a bit crappy when someone does that. Like you're their dirty little secret. They're happy to flirt, to perve and go gaga over photos in private but in public they're doing it with anyone but you. Having a chat with a friend, and I wondered if we are alone in this.... I think it's unlikely to be the case. And I wanted to say to anyone who does feel it, speak up if you feel like that. Clear the air over it. The person doing it may not realise. Or may not realise it bothers you. And if you're someone who does it, have a think about it. Maybe change things a little. You don't have to piss all up someone's lamppost in public but the occasional or a "nice arse/tits/leg/ankle/collarbone" wouldn't go amiss. Don't feel like you can't like what and who you like. Especially here, but in the real world too."I know we are friends and have spoken in private. However I would happily shout that from the roof tops! I'm sorry some people have made you feel that way. You are and always will be worth far more than that. I really do hope I'm down your way soon x | |||
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"Nice arse OP !
"Thanks Leo. I'm partial to your pants. | |||
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" Ever feel like that's what you are? Back in the day when I used to go out, or when I was working behind the bar, I'd often feel like it. Men would chat, but never flirt with me until the end of the night when they were d*unk, or when their friends had gone home. I was the fat bird. They'd never want their friends to know they fancied anyone outside of the "norm" and it made me feel like crap. And sometimes that can happen on here too. I'll realise that the things someone says in private aren't mirrored by any kind of flirting or even acknowledgement of existence on the forum. At all. I know that most people like to keep their "actual interest" private, and for a bundle of damn good reasons. I don't announce these things on the forum..... cue a bunch of eye rolls.... but it's true, I'm an equal opportunities forum flirt..... but I also don't go the other way and not flirt with someone I may be talking to privately. Because it feels a bit crappy when someone does that. Like you're their dirty little secret. They're happy to flirt, to perve and go gaga over photos in private but in public they're doing it with anyone but you. Having a chat with a friend, and I wondered if we are alone in this.... I think it's unlikely to be the case. And I wanted to say to anyone who does feel it, speak up if you feel like that. Clear the air over it. The person doing it may not realise. Or may not realise it bothers you. And if you're someone who does it, have a think about it. Maybe change things a little. You don't have to piss all up someone's lamppost in public but the occasional or a "nice arse/tits/leg/ankle/collarbone" wouldn't go amiss. Don't feel like you can't like what and who you like. Especially here, but in the real world too.
I know we are friends and have spoken in private. However I would happily shout that from the roof tops!
I'm sorry some people have made you feel that way. You are and always will be worth far more than that.
I really do hope I'm down your way soon x"Aww thanks you. Coffee would be fun x | |||
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"I’d happily be that fruit pastille lolly in your vid and shout very loud about it…x" Oh my..... why thank you  | |||
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" Ever feel like that's what you are? Back in the day when I used to go out, or when I was working behind the bar, I'd often feel like it. Men would chat, but never flirt with me until the end of the night when they were d*unk, or when their friends had gone home. I was the fat bird. They'd never want their friends to know they fancied anyone outside of the "norm" and it made me feel like crap. And sometimes that can happen on here too. I'll realise that the things someone says in private aren't mirrored by any kind of flirting or even acknowledgement of existence on the forum. At all. I know that most people like to keep their "actual interest" private, and for a bundle of damn good reasons. I don't announce these things on the forum..... cue a bunch of eye rolls.... but it's true, I'm an equal opportunities forum flirt..... but I also don't go the other way and not flirt with someone I may be talking to privately. Because it feels a bit crappy when someone does that. Like you're their dirty little secret. They're happy to flirt, to perve and go gaga over photos in private but in public they're doing it with anyone but you. Having a chat with a friend, and I wondered if we are alone in this.... I think it's unlikely to be the case. And I wanted to say to anyone who does feel it, speak up if you feel like that. Clear the air over it. The person doing it may not realise. Or may not realise it bothers you. And if you're someone who does it, have a think about it. Maybe change things a little. You don't have to piss all up someone's lamppost in public but the occasional or a "nice arse/tits/leg/ankle/collarbone" wouldn't go amiss. Don't feel like you can't like what and who you like. Especially here, but in the real world too.
I know we are friends and have spoken in private. However I would happily shout that from the roof tops!
I'm sorry some people have made you feel that way. You are and always will be worth far more than that.
I really do hope I'm down your way soon x
Aww thanks you. Coffee would be fun x"I shall let you know when I'm down x | |||
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"I’d happily be that fruit pastille lolly in your vid and shout very loud about it…x Oh my..... why thank you "Or the blue sparkly bum jewellery....deary me...all hot and bothered now | |||
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"I do want to point out.... THIS ISN'T A FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF THREAD. I'm actually perfectly happy with my interactions right now. This is a thread that is exactly what I've said. A result of a conversation with a mate that is illustrated by my own experience and I'm hoping might make people stop and think a moment. That's all. "Feeling sorry or not (though definitely hoping not the former)... I'm sure I already spend too many moments thinking of you Posh | |||
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" Ever feel like that's what you are? Back in the day when I used to go out, or when I was working behind the bar, I'd often feel like it. Men would chat, but never flirt with me until the end of the night when they were d*unk, or when their friends had gone home. I was the fat bird. They'd never want their friends to know they fancied anyone outside of the "norm" and it made me feel like crap. And sometimes that can happen on here too. I'll realise that the things someone says in private aren't mirrored by any kind of flirting or even acknowledgement of existence on the forum. At all. I know that most people like to keep their "actual interest" private, and for a bundle of damn good reasons. I don't announce these things on the forum..... cue a bunch of eye rolls.... but it's true, I'm an equal opportunities forum flirt..... but I also don't go the other way and not flirt with someone I may be talking to privately. Because it feels a bit crappy when someone does that. Like you're their dirty little secret. They're happy to flirt, to perve and go gaga over photos in private but in public they're doing it with anyone but you. Having a chat with a friend, and I wondered if we are alone in this.... I think it's unlikely to be the case. And I wanted to say to anyone who does feel it, speak up if you feel like that. Clear the air over it. The person doing it may not realise. Or may not realise it bothers you. And if you're someone who does it, have a think about it. Maybe change things a little. You don't have to piss all up someone's lamppost in public but the occasional or a "nice arse/tits/leg/ankle/collarbone" wouldn't go amiss. Don't feel like you can't like what and who you like. Especially here, but in the real world too."You know I’d love to see your legs wrapped around my neck Posh  | |||
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"I hear you posh, I've been in that situation where you feel like a consolation prize. And if someone likes me I'd jolly want them to flirt with me like anyone else on the forum. I understand they may not want to draw attention to it but if they ignore you all of a sudden, well that is drawing attention to it isn't it? " Exactly. And that tends to bring out the vultures even more than anything else. I think if you're flirting, you should flirt, no matter who might be watching. There's no need to plant a damn flag in someone unless that's what you both want, but flirting is just flirting after all. | |||
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"I hear you posh, I've been in that situation where you feel like a consolation prize. And if someone likes me I'd jolly want them to flirt with me like anyone else on the forum. I understand they may not want to draw attention to it but if they ignore you all of a sudden, well that is drawing attention to it isn't it? " Baaaaa (sheep emoji) | |||
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"I’d happily be that fruit pastille lolly in your vid and shout very loud about it…x Oh my..... why thank you
Or the blue sparkly bum jewellery....deary me...all hot and bothered now " sorry (not sorry).
I'll take it out | |||
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"I do want to point out.... THIS ISN'T A FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF THREAD. I'm actually perfectly happy with my interactions right now. This is a thread that is exactly what I've said. A result of a conversation with a mate that is illustrated by my own experience and I'm hoping might make people stop and think a moment. That's all. "I had it down as more of a "tell me I'm fuckable in public" thread.  (I'm teasing you and if you want to feel sad about being someone's dirty little secret that's fair enough). | |||
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"I do want to point out.... THIS ISN'T A FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF THREAD. I'm actually perfectly happy with my interactions right now. This is a thread that is exactly what I've said. A result of a conversation with a mate that is illustrated by my own experience and I'm hoping might make people stop and think a moment. That's all.
Feeling sorry or not (though definitely hoping not the former)... I'm sure I already spend too many moments thinking of you Posh"You are a smoothie..... | |||
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"I hear you posh, I've been in that situation where you feel like a consolation prize. And if someone likes me I'd jolly want them to flirt with me like anyone else on the forum. I understand they may not want to draw attention to it but if they ignore you all of a sudden, well that is drawing attention to it isn't it? Exactly. And that tends to bring out the vultures even more than anything else. I think if you're flirting, you should flirt, no matter who might be watching. There's no need to plant a damn flag in someone unless that's what you both want, but flirting is just flirting after all." Exactly crumbs I flirt with the elderly man down the road, I mean nothing by it we both know it. | |||
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" Ever feel like that's what you are? Back in the day when I used to go out, or when I was working behind the bar, I'd often feel like it. Men would chat, but never flirt with me until the end of the night when they were d*unk, or when their friends had gone home. I was the fat bird. They'd never want their friends to know they fancied anyone outside of the "norm" and it made me feel like crap. And sometimes that can happen on here too. I'll realise that the things someone says in private aren't mirrored by any kind of flirting or even acknowledgement of existence on the forum. At all. I know that most people like to keep their "actual interest" private, and for a bundle of damn good reasons. I don't announce these things on the forum..... cue a bunch of eye rolls.... but it's true, I'm an equal opportunities forum flirt..... but I also don't go the other way and not flirt with someone I may be talking to privately. Because it feels a bit crappy when someone does that. Like you're their dirty little secret. They're happy to flirt, to perve and go gaga over photos in private but in public they're doing it with anyone but you. Having a chat with a friend, and I wondered if we are alone in this.... I think it's unlikely to be the case. And I wanted to say to anyone who does feel it, speak up if you feel like that. Clear the air over it. The person doing it may not realise. Or may not realise it bothers you. And if you're someone who does it, have a think about it. Maybe change things a little. You don't have to piss all up someone's lamppost in public but the occasional or a "nice arse/tits/leg/ankle/collarbone" wouldn't go amiss. Don't feel like you can't like what and who you like. Especially here, but in the real world too.
You know I’d love to see your legs wrapped around my neck Posh "And now in my head I have that scene from Goldeneye where the sexy as fuck Onatopp is trying to str***le Bond with her thighs..... | |||
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"I'm an out and out flirt, if I like you I'm flirting in public and private " You most definitely are.... | |||
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"I do want to point out.... THIS ISN'T A FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF THREAD. I'm actually perfectly happy with my interactions right now. This is a thread that is exactly what I've said. A result of a conversation with a mate that is illustrated by my own experience and I'm hoping might make people stop and think a moment. That's all.
I had it down as more of a "tell me I'm fuckable in public" thread. (I'm teasing you and if you want to feel sad about being someone's dirty little secret that's fair enough)."I got the teasing
Hell no, I'm not feeling sad about anything like that at the moment.
It's more a "tell *them* *they're* fuckable in public" thread. I'm sound in my fuckability or otherwise. | |||
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"I hear you posh, I've been in that situation where you feel like a consolation prize. And if someone likes me I'd jolly want them to flirt with me like anyone else on the forum. I understand they may not want to draw attention to it but if they ignore you all of a sudden, well that is drawing attention to it isn't it? Exactly. And that tends to bring out the vultures even more than anything else. I think if you're flirting, you should flirt, no matter who might be watching. There's no need to plant a damn flag in someone unless that's what you both want, but flirting is just flirting after all. Exactly crumbs I flirt with the elderly man down the road, I mean nothing by it we both know it. " Maybe so, but sure it must still make his day  | |||
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"You’d never be a secret for me, let alone a dirty one xx" That's the way to do it! And thanks | |||
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"I hear you posh, I've been in that situation where you feel like a consolation prize. And if someone likes me I'd jolly want them to flirt with me like anyone else on the forum. I understand they may not want to draw attention to it but if they ignore you all of a sudden, well that is drawing attention to it isn't it? Exactly. And that tends to bring out the vultures even more than anything else. I think if you're flirting, you should flirt, no matter who might be watching. There's no need to plant a damn flag in someone unless that's what you both want, but flirting is just flirting after all. Exactly crumbs I flirt with the elderly man down the road, I mean nothing by it we both know it. " Precisely! But it makes him feel good x | |||
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"I do want to point out.... THIS ISN'T A FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF THREAD. I'm actually perfectly happy with my interactions right now. This is a thread that is exactly what I've said. A result of a conversation with a mate that is illustrated by my own experience and I'm hoping might make people stop and think a moment. That's all.
I had it down as more of a "tell me I'm fuckable in public" thread. (I'm teasing you and if you want to feel sad about being someone's dirty little secret that's fair enough).
I got the teasing
Hell no, I'm not feeling sad about anything like that at the moment.
It's more a "tell *them* *they're* fuckable in public" thread. I'm sound in my fuckability or otherwise."Well if anyone wants to say I'm fuckable, I'm all ears | |||
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"You’d never be a secret for me, let alone a dirty one xx That's the way to do it! And thanks "You’re very welcome xxx | |||
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"I'm an out and out flirt, if I like you I'm flirting in public and private You most definitely are.... "I couldn't be any other way if I tried  | |||
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"I do want to point out.... THIS ISN'T A FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF THREAD. I'm actually perfectly happy with my interactions right now. This is a thread that is exactly what I've said. A result of a conversation with a mate that is illustrated by my own experience and I'm hoping might make people stop and think a moment. That's all.
I had it down as more of a "tell me I'm fuckable in public" thread. (I'm teasing you and if you want to feel sad about being someone's dirty little secret that's fair enough).
I got the teasing
Hell no, I'm not feeling sad about anything like that at the moment.
It's more a "tell *them* *they're* fuckable in public" thread. I'm sound in my fuckability or otherwise."Hold the smoothie... I'd fuck you in public or otherwise  | |||
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"I get what you’re saying but…. most of this stuff goes over my head. I’m completely literal so won’t say something unless I actually mean it. Hence why I can’t/won’t attempt to flirt as it would be a tad blunt!! So for those that flirt a lot, is it all genuine or is it just a bit of fun? How does the recipient know which it is? Do you think flirting on here means anything at all? How do you decide if somethings a passing comment or true?!? It fascinates me because it’s simply not how I work or can think….soz!!! "Slight aside.... I love your profile pic. Another slight aside.... I guess I'm really aiming this at the public flirters, who flirt with certain people all over the place and then have a private flirt with someone but don't acknowledge their existence on the forum. If that makes sense? I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I do flirt a lot. So I feel I can answer your questions. It's a mixture of genuine flirting and a bit of fun for me. The way anyone will know the difference is by asking me. If they're interested in private conversation I'd hope they'd say (because despite being a raging flirt and pervert I'm actually shy when it comes to private interaction past the FAF stage), or occasionally I'll pull on my big girl pants and say. And then either the flirting continues in private or stays public. There is actually a well loved and very sexy male on here with whom I had a very blunt conversation months ago.... we flirt on the forum but we both know we just enjoy that and it isn't anything more. I like that honesty. I'd say if something is a passing comment, chances are it won't be repeated. If it is more, there's likely more of it. And I hope that makes a bit of sense? | |||
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"Feel exactly what you mean posh. It can be very disheartening at times. And maybe our conditions are different obviously but there are similar points. I usually tend to get to the stage of them wanting the exterior part but majority of the times it ends there and doesn’t go further the deed. Because of how I was born. So the dating part is way more difficult. Maybe I feel self conscious, but it is a reality. So I get what you mean as I feel certain women are obviously The shit hot prize. While others are.. meh , in their minds I mean. Like a hierarchy type thing. I definitely feel grade B and on certain days even grade Z… But anyway. You are lovely so they should see exactly what a beautiful person you are x " Firstly..... thank you. And you are an absolute sweetheart too xx I will admit, your "condition", "situation", whatever we call it, was on my mind also as I wrote this post as I'm sure you've said similar in the past. Two very different people, you and I, with different issues and different "reasons" to be a secret. But we shouldn't be. And nor should anyone else. Ever. If anyone makes you feel that way Kylie, I hope you can find the strength to tell them xx | |||
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so the mismatch of private and public interaction doesn't occur for me.
I'm not terribly flirty on here anyway and seem to have lost the knack in real life too. Too long in lockdown I expect | |||
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"I'm an out and out flirt, if I like you I'm flirting in public and private You most definitely are....
I couldn't be any other way if I tried "Don't ever change | |||
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"I do want to point out.... THIS ISN'T A FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF THREAD. I'm actually perfectly happy with my interactions right now. This is a thread that is exactly what I've said. A result of a conversation with a mate that is illustrated by my own experience and I'm hoping might make people stop and think a moment. That's all.
I had it down as more of a "tell me I'm fuckable in public" thread. (I'm teasing you and if you want to feel sad about being someone's dirty little secret that's fair enough).
I got the teasing
Hell no, I'm not feeling sad about anything like that at the moment.
It's more a "tell *them* *they're* fuckable in public" thread. I'm sound in my fuckability or otherwise.
Hold the smoothie...
I'd fuck you in public or otherwise "*Semi* public. I don't need to be arrested Mr. | |||
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"If (when?) we get to meet, you certainly wouldn't be a secret, but dirty? That depends on how dirty you want to get!
"I knew "dirty" would come back and bite me on the arse | |||
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I'm just off for a wee perve in your pics | |||
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"In response to the actual OP - I like the little acknowledgements that aren't overt and I'd cringe a thousand deaths if someone I liked publically flirted with me and said nice tits or something like that. I don't want to be one of a hundred odd flirts that day. I like things not being very erm... out there. And I tend not to be attracted to out and out flirty people - it just kind of washes over me as meaningless background noise. Maybe it's because I'm atypical. "I don't think you're atypical at all. A lot of people are the same. And in some ways I imagine that must be easier, as it certainly would stop the issue I've described. But then that's the beauty of the forum. Some people overtly flirt, others not so much. And it's something to hope for that the people who match your flirting style are attractive to you and you to them. I'm more than happy with a non overt flirt in public, the odd comment acknowledging my existence, when that is the way the person is. It's when it's a complete blank in public while flirting their arses off with all and sundry. That's the issue. | |||
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"If (when?) we get to meet, you certainly wouldn't be a secret, but dirty? That depends on how dirty you want to get!
I knew "dirty" would come back and bite me on the arse "Ewwww lol xxx | |||
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"I get what you’re saying but…. most of this stuff goes over my head. I’m completely literal so won’t say something unless I actually mean it. Hence why I can’t/won’t attempt to flirt as it would be a tad blunt!! So for those that flirt a lot, is it all genuine or is it just a bit of fun? How does the recipient know which it is? Do you think flirting on here means anything at all? How do you decide if somethings a passing comment or true?!? It fascinates me because it’s simply not how I work or can think….soz!!!
Slight aside.... I love your profile pic.
Another slight aside.... I guess I'm really aiming this at the public flirters, who flirt with certain people all over the place and then have a private flirt with someone but don't acknowledge their existence on the forum. If that makes sense?
I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I do flirt a lot. So I feel I can answer your questions.
It's a mixture of genuine flirting and a bit of fun for me. The way anyone will know the difference is by asking me. If they're interested in private conversation I'd hope they'd say (because despite being a raging flirt and pervert I'm actually shy when it comes to private interaction past the FAF stage), or occasionally I'll pull on my big girl pants and say. And then either the flirting continues in private or stays public.
There is actually a well loved and very sexy male on here with whom I had a very blunt conversation months ago.... we flirt on the forum but we both know we just enjoy that and it isn't anything more. I like that honesty.
I'd say if something is a passing comment, chances are it won't be repeated. If it is more, there's likely more of it.
And I hope that makes a bit of sense? "It does Thankyou it’s fascinating when it’s something you approach from a completely polar view!! Maybe the difference in behaviour is the complement itself.. perhaps others flirt for fun publicly but flirt with intention privately.. if I liked someone who said the same thing to 10 people then said the same thing to me it would feel meaningless. Maybe that’s where not saying it means more… I’ve no idea. It’s a minefield!! | |||
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"I flirt in private anything said in the forum isn’t flirting just a friendly acknowledgement. I can’t say things I don’t mean, I won’t say something just to make someone happy. If someone I have met or flirting with in private brings it to the forum, they get a quick private shut down. " Much as I said to Meli, that's your way and that's great. There is nothing "wrong" with either being a private or a public flirt. There's nothing "wrong" with being no flirt at all and there's nothing "wrong" with being discreet. That's not the point. The point of the post is to illustrate the importance of being consistent and communicative.  | |||
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" Ever feel like that's what you are? Back in the day when I used to go out, or when I was working behind the bar, I'd often feel like it. Men would chat, but never flirt with me until the end of the night when they were d*unk, or when their friends had gone home. I was the fat bird. They'd never want their friends to know they fancied anyone outside of the "norm" and it made me feel like crap. And sometimes that can happen on here too. I'll realise that the things someone says in private aren't mirrored by any kind of flirting or even acknowledgement of existence on the forum. At all. I know that most people like to keep their "actual interest" private, and for a bundle of damn good reasons. I don't announce these things on the forum..... cue a bunch of eye rolls.... but it's true, I'm an equal opportunities forum flirt..... but I also don't go the other way and not flirt with someone I may be talking to privately. Because it feels a bit crappy when someone does that. Like you're their dirty little secret. They're happy to flirt, to perve and go gaga over photos in private but in public they're doing it with anyone but you. Having a chat with a friend, and I wondered if we are alone in this.... I think it's unlikely to be the case. And I wanted to say to anyone who does feel it, speak up if you feel like that. Clear the air over it. The person doing it may not realise. Or may not realise it bothers you. And if you're someone who does it, have a think about it. Maybe change things a little. You don't have to piss all up someone's lamppost in public but the occasional or a "nice arse/tits/leg/ankle/collarbone" wouldn't go amiss. Don't feel like you can't like what and who you like. Especially here, but in the real world too.
I know we are friends and have spoken in private. However I would happily shout that from the roof tops!
I'm sorry some people have made you feel that way. You are and always will be worth far more than that.
I really do hope I'm down your way soon x" | |||
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"It's rare that someone will flirt with me in the forums, I understand why. It's fairly rare in messages too so the mismatch of private and public interaction doesn't occur for me.
I'm not terribly flirty on here anyway and seem to have lost the knack in real life too. Too long in lockdown I expect "I think the "forum mod" title scares a lot of people, which I'm sure is what you meant by understanding why
How it's rare on messages too I don't understand though, as you're rather a delight for the eyes.
I'm a babbling, blushing, incoherent idiot in real life. And that was before lockdown. At least you've that excuse! | |||
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"Feel exactly what you mean posh. It can be very disheartening at times. And maybe our conditions are different obviously but there are similar points. I usually tend to get to the stage of them wanting the exterior part but majority of the times it ends there and doesn’t go further the deed. Because of how I was born. So the dating part is way more difficult. Maybe I feel self conscious, but it is a reality. So I get what you mean as I feel certain women are obviously The shit hot prize. While others are.. meh , in their minds I mean. Like a hierarchy type thing. I definitely feel grade B and on certain days even grade Z… But anyway. You are lovely so they should see exactly what a beautiful person you are x Firstly..... thank you. And you are an absolute sweetheart too xx I will admit, your "condition", "situation", whatever we call it, was on my mind also as I wrote this post as I'm sure you've said similar in the past. Two very different people, you and I, with different issues and different "reasons" to be a secret. But we shouldn't be. And nor should anyone else. Ever. If anyone makes you feel that way Kylie, I hope you can find the strength to tell them xx" Definitely we shouldn’t be! I used to get excited about being considered a naughty secret for some guys or a sex experiment. Especially if they were hot and attached (ashamed of that a bit) But it wears off quickly as I’m really a hopeless romantic at heart (and it hurts when guys say.. yeah u are pretty and sex was amazing but I wouldn’t date a girl like u… like Fuck off mate, why? When u don’t really know me? - implying it’s the prejudice of me being a girl who happens to be transgender) and I don’t want guys to be ashamed of holding my hands in public, and to see me for what I am. Just an avarage girl with a heart xx We should be proud of who we are. Just women with a heart and feelings xxx Thanks for the thread btw x Its always nice to confront each other even if situations are varied but ultimately similar x | |||
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"Hi OP Nice arse / tits/ legs /ankle / collarbone - hell... all of you is gorgeous! Happy to flirt anytime!...
I'm just off for a wee perve in your pics "Hey Bob. I'll upload some more ankle and collarbone for you soon as I can. And let's flirt | |||
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"I don't think you're atypical at all. A lot of people are the same. And in some ways I imagine that must be easier, as it certainly would stop the issue I've described. But then that's the beauty of the forum. Some people overtly flirt, others not so much. And it's something to hope for that the people who match your flirting style are attractive to you and you to them. I'm more than happy with a non overt flirt in public, the odd comment acknowledging my existence, when that is the way the person is. It's when it's a complete blank in public while flirting their arses off with all and sundry. That's the issue." No, I'm definitely atypical, got the diagnosis. I was using it to explain maybe that's why I view it differently. Maybe they flirt their arses off with others but not with you because that's a sign they do actually like you? No idea. Like Saff said, it's a fascinating topic and interesting reading how others view it.
I do think you can talk about it with the person and say how it makes you feel. Maybe they don't because of x, y and z? Open communication and a willingness to actually listen and understand where both parties are coming from is important. | |||
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"I flirt in private anything said in the forum isn’t flirting just a friendly acknowledgement. I can’t say things I don’t mean, I won’t say something just to make someone happy. If someone I have met or flirting with in private brings it to the forum, they get a quick private shut down. Much as I said to Meli, that's your way and that's great. There is nothing "wrong" with either being a private or a public flirt. There's nothing "wrong" with being no flirt at all and there's nothing "wrong" with being discreet. That's not the point. The point of the post is to illustrate the importance of being consistent and communicative. "Agree nothing wrong with either. However those flirting in private with an individual and not in the forum may be their way, anything else said on the forum to others is just interaction and no meaning. It’s what each person is comfortable with and how they conduct themselves with different types of people. If it was something that bothered me, Id just ask them their way and either accept it or move on. | |||
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"I do want to point out.... THIS ISN'T A FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF THREAD. I'm actually perfectly happy with my interactions right now. This is a thread that is exactly what I've said. A result of a conversation with a mate that is illustrated by my own experience and I'm hoping might make people stop and think a moment. That's all.
I had it down as more of a "tell me I'm fuckable in public" thread. (I'm teasing you and if you want to feel sad about being someone's dirty little secret that's fair enough).
I got the teasing
Hell no, I'm not feeling sad about anything like that at the moment.
It's more a "tell *them* *they're* fuckable in public" thread. I'm sound in my fuckability or otherwise.
Hold the smoothie...
I'd fuck you in public or otherwise
*Semi* public. I don't need to be arrested Mr."Semi, yes ah, you meant public lol
But you mean to say you're not already arrested by my charm and wit | |||
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"I don't think you're atypical at all. A lot of people are the same. And in some ways I imagine that must be easier, as it certainly would stop the issue I've described. But then that's the beauty of the forum. Some people overtly flirt, others not so much. And it's something to hope for that the people who match your flirting style are attractive to you and you to them. I'm more than happy with a non overt flirt in public, the odd comment acknowledging my existence, when that is the way the person is. It's when it's a complete blank in public while flirting their arses off with all and sundry. That's the issue. No, I'm definitely atypical, got the diagnosis. I was using it to explain maybe that's why I view it differently. Maybe they flirt their arses off with others but not with you because that's a sign they do actually like you? No idea. Like Saff said, it's a fascinating topic and interesting reading how others view it.
I do think you can talk about it with the person and say how it makes you feel. Maybe they don't because of x, y and z? Open communication and a willingness to actually listen and understand where both parties are coming from is important. "You put it much nicer than I did | |||
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"I’m flirtatious by nature but I’m never false with it, if I’m attracted to someone or have a genuine friendship with them I’ll flirt openly on the forums. If I’ve arranged to meet someone or something had potential I will flirt in forums and privately. I’ll never say something just for the sake of it, or to blow smoke up someones arse, if someone was to treat me like a dirty little secret he/she would be called out on it as I would in a real life situation, this isn’t a site for people who are devoid of feelings and if I like someone they will know about it, if anyone else catches on along the way so be it. I’ve no time for the lamp post pissing crap, that mentality usually comes from an insecurity within the person accusing you of it. X" Oh exactly my lovely!! I completely agree with everything you've said. The problem comes when our insecurities mean that we expect to be the dirty little secret (usually due to past experience) and so we feel it more keenly. And often find it hard to say anything because we want to be liked by that person. Then there is the issue of do they realise that and are using it to their advantage, or do they not and would they be mortified to find we feel that way. Is tough being human with all the uls and downs. | |||
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"Really interesting replies. I've always seen flirting or similar in Forum as light hearted engagement, based on the context of the thread rather than any personal connection. I do flirt with people I've met but this happened before we met too, and would obviously stop if not mutually understood." I see forum flirting in that way too..... but also as something not to stop when it moves private or more. | |||
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"I get what you’re saying but…. most of this stuff goes over my head. I’m completely literal so won’t say something unless I actually mean it. Hence why I can’t/won’t attempt to flirt as it would be a tad blunt!! So for those that flirt a lot, is it all genuine or is it just a bit of fun? How does the recipient know which it is? Do you think flirting on here means anything at all? How do you decide if somethings a passing comment or true?!? It fascinates me because it’s simply not how I work or can think….soz!!!
Slight aside.... I love your profile pic.
Another slight aside.... I guess I'm really aiming this at the public flirters, who flirt with certain people all over the place and then have a private flirt with someone but don't acknowledge their existence on the forum. If that makes sense?
I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I do flirt a lot. So I feel I can answer your questions.
It's a mixture of genuine flirting and a bit of fun for me. The way anyone will know the difference is by asking me. If they're interested in private conversation I'd hope they'd say (because despite being a raging flirt and pervert I'm actually shy when it comes to private interaction past the FAF stage), or occasionally I'll pull on my big girl pants and say. And then either the flirting continues in private or stays public.
There is actually a well loved and very sexy male on here with whom I had a very blunt conversation months ago.... we flirt on the forum but we both know we just enjoy that and it isn't anything more. I like that honesty.
I'd say if something is a passing comment, chances are it won't be repeated. If it is more, there's likely more of it.
And I hope that makes a bit of sense?
It does Thankyou it’s fascinating when it’s something you approach from a completely polar view!! Maybe the difference in behaviour is the complement itself.. perhaps others flirt for fun publicly but flirt with intention privately.. if I liked someone who said the same thing to 10 people then said the same thing to me it would feel meaningless. Maybe that’s where not saying it means more… I’ve no idea. It’s a minefield!! "It's a major minefield. And one day you and I will have to discuss our differing approaches over a drink or 40..... | |||
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"You put it so well, that said very partial to a bit of posh or not so posh for that matter "Thank you..... I hope people get it. | |||
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"Your vid in white vest mmm so sexy horny to " Thank you | |||
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"Feel exactly what you mean posh. It can be very disheartening at times. And maybe our conditions are different obviously but there are similar points. I usually tend to get to the stage of them wanting the exterior part but majority of the times it ends there and doesn’t go further the deed. Because of how I was born. So the dating part is way more difficult. Maybe I feel self conscious, but it is a reality. So I get what you mean as I feel certain women are obviously The shit hot prize. While others are.. meh , in their minds I mean. Like a hierarchy type thing. I definitely feel grade B and on certain days even grade Z… But anyway. You are lovely so they should see exactly what a beautiful person you are x Firstly..... thank you. And you are an absolute sweetheart too xx I will admit, your "condition", "situation", whatever we call it, was on my mind also as I wrote this post as I'm sure you've said similar in the past. Two very different people, you and I, with different issues and different "reasons" to be a secret. But we shouldn't be. And nor should anyone else. Ever. If anyone makes you feel that way Kylie, I hope you can find the strength to tell them xx Definitely we shouldn’t be! I used to get excited about being considered a naughty secret for some guys or a sex experiment. Especially if they were hot and attached (ashamed of that a bit) But it wears off quickly as I’m really a hopeless romantic at heart (and it hurts when guys say.. yeah u are pretty and sex was amazing but I wouldn’t date a girl like u… like Fuck off mate, why? When u don’t really know me? - implying it’s the prejudice of me being a girl who happens to be transgender) and I don’t want guys to be ashamed of holding my hands in public, and to see me for what I am. Just an avarage girl with a heart xx We should be proud of who we are. Just women with a heart and feelings xxx Thanks for the thread btw x Its always nice to confront each other even if situations are varied but ultimately similar x " You've hit the nail on the head there Kylie. We should be proud of who we are, and those who like us should be proud of that too xx | |||
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"You put it so well, that said very partial to a bit of posh or not so posh for that matter
Thank you..... I hope people get it."I think the get it, or they can well should | |||
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"I don't think you're atypical at all. A lot of people are the same. And in some ways I imagine that must be easier, as it certainly would stop the issue I've described. But then that's the beauty of the forum. Some people overtly flirt, others not so much. And it's something to hope for that the people who match your flirting style are attractive to you and you to them. I'm more than happy with a non overt flirt in public, the odd comment acknowledging my existence, when that is the way the person is. It's when it's a complete blank in public while flirting their arses off with all and sundry. That's the issue. No, I'm definitely atypical, got the diagnosis. I was using it to explain maybe that's why I view it differently. Maybe they flirt their arses off with others but not with you because that's a sign they do actually like you? No idea. Like Saff said, it's a fascinating topic and interesting reading how others view it.
I do think you can talk about it with the person and say how it makes you feel. Maybe they don't because of x, y and z? Open communication and a willingness to actually listen and understand where both parties are coming from is important. "I just meant not atypical in your view on the subject
Communication is key, and that's actually one of the things I pointed out in the very first post. | |||
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"I get what you’re saying but…. most of this stuff goes over my head. I’m completely literal so won’t say something unless I actually mean it. Hence why I can’t/won’t attempt to flirt as it would be a tad blunt!! So for those that flirt a lot, is it all genuine or is it just a bit of fun? How does the recipient know which it is? Do you think flirting on here means anything at all? How do you decide if somethings a passing comment or true?!? It fascinates me because it’s simply not how I work or can think….soz!!!
Slight aside.... I love your profile pic.
Another slight aside.... I guess I'm really aiming this at the public flirters, who flirt with certain people all over the place and then have a private flirt with someone but don't acknowledge their existence on the forum. If that makes sense?
I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I do flirt a lot. So I feel I can answer your questions.
It's a mixture of genuine flirting and a bit of fun for me. The way anyone will know the difference is by asking me. If they're interested in private conversation I'd hope they'd say (because despite being a raging flirt and pervert I'm actually shy when it comes to private interaction past the FAF stage), or occasionally I'll pull on my big girl pants and say. And then either the flirting continues in private or stays public.
There is actually a well loved and very sexy male on here with whom I had a very blunt conversation months ago.... we flirt on the forum but we both know we just enjoy that and it isn't anything more. I like that honesty.
I'd say if something is a passing comment, chances are it won't be repeated. If it is more, there's likely more of it.
And I hope that makes a bit of sense?
It does Thankyou it’s fascinating when it’s something you approach from a completely polar view!! Maybe the difference in behaviour is the complement itself.. perhaps others flirt for fun publicly but flirt with intention privately.. if I liked someone who said the same thing to 10 people then said the same thing to me it would feel meaningless. Maybe that’s where not saying it means more… I’ve no idea. It’s a minefield!!
It's a major minefield. And one day you and I will have to discuss our differing approaches over a drink or 40....."Defo.. I can chat about this kinda shiz for hours | |||
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"I flirt in private anything said in the forum isn’t flirting just a friendly acknowledgement. I can’t say things I don’t mean, I won’t say something just to make someone happy. If someone I have met or flirting with in private brings it to the forum, they get a quick private shut down. Much as I said to Meli, that's your way and that's great. There is nothing "wrong" with either being a private or a public flirt. There's nothing "wrong" with being no flirt at all and there's nothing "wrong" with being discreet. That's not the point. The point of the post is to illustrate the importance of being consistent and communicative.
Agree nothing wrong with either. However those flirting in private with an individual and not in the forum may be their way, anything else said on the forum to others is just interaction and no meaning. It’s what each person is comfortable with and how they conduct themselves with different types of people.
If it was something that bothered me, Id just ask them their way and either accept it or move on. "It's good that you've the confidence in yourself to be able to do that. There are a lot of people who, for whatever the reason, would struggle with doing that. And my point in the OP was that people should try and communicate that they're bothered by it, or that they are aware their flirting may be inconsistent between public and private but there's a reason. That's all. | |||
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"I flirt in private anything said in the forum isn’t flirting just a friendly acknowledgement. I can’t say things I don’t mean, I won’t say something just to make someone happy. If someone I have met or flirting with in private brings it to the forum, they get a quick private shut down. Much as I said to Meli, that's your way and that's great. There is nothing "wrong" with either being a private or a public flirt. There's nothing "wrong" with being no flirt at all and there's nothing "wrong" with being discreet. That's not the point. The point of the post is to illustrate the importance of being consistent and communicative.
Agree nothing wrong with either. However those flirting in private with an individual and not in the forum may be their way, anything else said on the forum to others is just interaction and no meaning. It’s what each person is comfortable with and how they conduct themselves with different types of people.
If it was something that bothered me, Id just ask them their way and either accept it or move on.
It's good that you've the confidence in yourself to be able to do that. There are a lot of people who, for whatever the reason, would struggle with doing that. And my point in the OP was that people should try and communicate that they're bothered by it, or that they are aware their flirting may be inconsistent between public and private but there's a reason.
That's all.
"It’s it confidence or just not letting individuals make me feel like crap, when they have no idea their behaviour is doing so. As per your OP it comes back to communication if they don’t know they can’t change it, if they choose too after you’ve told them. | |||
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"It's one reason why I ignore compliments on here... I no longer believe the person actually fancies me, just that they are hoping to get laid. They would never proposition me in public so I won't meet them in private" It takes a hell of a lot for me to believe someone actually fancies me.... I read the flirting with a huge bucket of salt. But it can still make me smile. One damn fine reason for a public first meet for me is always if they're not obviously into me (no groping over the table n stuff but you can tell) in public, there will be no private time. | |||
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" Ever feel like that's what you are? Back in the day when I used to go out, or when I was working behind the bar, I'd often feel like it. Men would chat, but never flirt with me until the end of the night when they were d*unk, or when their friends had gone home. I was the fat bird. They'd never want their friends to know they fancied anyone outside of the "norm" and it made me feel like crap. And sometimes that can happen on here too. I'll realise that the things someone says in private aren't mirrored by any kind of flirting or even acknowledgement of existence on the forum. At all. I know that most people like to keep their "actual interest" private, and for a bundle of damn good reasons. I don't announce these things on the forum..... cue a bunch of eye rolls.... but it's true, I'm an equal opportunities forum flirt..... but I also don't go the other way and not flirt with someone I may be talking to privately. Because it feels a bit crappy when someone does that. Like you're their dirty little secret. They're happy to flirt, to perve and go gaga over photos in private but in public they're doing it with anyone but you. Having a chat with a friend, and I wondered if we are alone in this.... I think it's unlikely to be the case. And I wanted to say to anyone who does feel it, speak up if you feel like that. Clear the air over it. The person doing it may not realise. Or may not realise it bothers you. And if you're someone who does it, have a think about it. Maybe change things a little. You don't have to piss all up someone's lamppost in public but the occasional or a "nice arse/tits/leg/ankle/collarbone" wouldn't go amiss. Don't feel like you can't like what and who you like. Especially here, but in the real world too."Thing is dont settle for being treated as such. You are goregous and find someone who is proud to say and show it #Wed2cents | |||
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"I definetly do agree that the reason fat birds are more popular here is that men have always liked us but they know they will never have to introduce us to their friends. Kinda sad but true. " That's exactly how a lot of us felt. And still do feel. I think it is sad when they can't even admit on an anonymous forum that they like us though..... | |||
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"I was talking to some people at club f on a recent visit (newcastle) about dirty talk and flirting, i was saying i am pretty awful at it…. Like as in me dirty talking OP “god i wish you were muddy-ier” which “apparently” is not what they meant ?? " That might work for someone...... Mud fetish then? | |||
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"I think I'm becoming someone's dirty little not so secret lately... "Seems so.... nice to see you back | |||
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"I was talking to some people at club f on a recent visit (newcastle) about dirty talk and flirting, i was saying i am pretty awful at it…. Like as in me dirty talking OP “god i wish you were muddy-ier” which “apparently” is not what they meant ?? That might work for someone...... Mud fetish then?" Not personally just verbally unskilled at seduction in a articulately unsuccessful manner | |||
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"I dont get the point? Your very well liked on the forums...this thread shows you people fancy you...im sure you get 1 or 2 messages from people in the forums flirting with you.....am I missing a bigger picture? X" You are. Entirely. This is nothing to do with me. I used my own experience to illustrate a point that means a lot to some people, and has bugged me in the past. As I pointed out somewhere way up there ^, I'm perfectly happy with my interactions and this isn't about me. This is about people feeling like they're not worthy of someone flirting with them in public. Be that in the real world or on the forum, and yet they're worth being flirted with in private, so no one else can see that the flirter likes "the fat one", "the trans one", "the tall one", "the ginger one" or whatever they feel embarrassed about liking. People feel like that. I've felt like that. I'm likely to feel like that again. | |||
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"I flirt in private anything said in the forum isn’t flirting just a friendly acknowledgement. I can’t say things I don’t mean, I won’t say something just to make someone happy. If someone I have met or flirting with in private brings it to the forum, they get a quick private shut down. Much as I said to Meli, that's your way and that's great. There is nothing "wrong" with either being a private or a public flirt. There's nothing "wrong" with being no flirt at all and there's nothing "wrong" with being discreet. That's not the point. The point of the post is to illustrate the importance of being consistent and communicative.
Agree nothing wrong with either. However those flirting in private with an individual and not in the forum may be their way, anything else said on the forum to others is just interaction and no meaning. It’s what each person is comfortable with and how they conduct themselves with different types of people.
If it was something that bothered me, Id just ask them their way and either accept it or move on.
It's good that you've the confidence in yourself to be able to do that. There are a lot of people who, for whatever the reason, would struggle with doing that. And my point in the OP was that people should try and communicate that they're bothered by it, or that they are aware their flirting may be inconsistent between public and private but there's a reason.
That's all.
It’s it confidence or just not letting individuals make me feel like crap, when they have no idea their behaviour is doing so. As per your OP it comes back to communication if they don’t know they can’t change it, if they choose too after you’ve told them. "Exactly. Communication is key. And there are some people who need to be reminded that their needs and wants are as important and have as much right to be communicated as those of anyone else. | |||
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" Ever feel like that's what you are? Back in the day when I used to go out, or when I was working behind the bar, I'd often feel like it. Men would chat, but never flirt with me until the end of the night when they were d*unk, or when their friends had gone home. I was the fat bird. They'd never want their friends to know they fancied anyone outside of the "norm" and it made me feel like crap. And sometimes that can happen on here too. I'll realise that the things someone says in private aren't mirrored by any kind of flirting or even acknowledgement of existence on the forum. At all. I know that most people like to keep their "actual interest" private, and for a bundle of damn good reasons. I don't announce these things on the forum..... cue a bunch of eye rolls.... but it's true, I'm an equal opportunities forum flirt..... but I also don't go the other way and not flirt with someone I may be talking to privately. Because it feels a bit crappy when someone does that. Like you're their dirty little secret. They're happy to flirt, to perve and go gaga over photos in private but in public they're doing it with anyone but you. Having a chat with a friend, and I wondered if we are alone in this.... I think it's unlikely to be the case. And I wanted to say to anyone who does feel it, speak up if you feel like that. Clear the air over it. The person doing it may not realise. Or may not realise it bothers you. And if you're someone who does it, have a think about it. Maybe change things a little. You don't have to piss all up someone's lamppost in public but the occasional or a "nice arse/tits/leg/ankle/collarbone" wouldn't go amiss. Don't feel like you can't like what and who you like. Especially here, but in the real world too.
Thing is dont settle for being treated as such.
You are goregous and find someone who is proud to say and show it #Wed2cents"Thank you This still isn't about me though.
I want others to not settle for being treated as such too. | |||
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"Yeah, it’s why I don’t meet forum men. " I can understand that. But there are some absolute gems who just happen to also be forum people.... | |||
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"I'll flirt with most on the forums and assume it's just forum flirting. It's when someone takes it seriously that it gets a bit tricky sometimes. If someone flirts with others and not me I'd just assume they have a better knowledge or more with the other people. Why does it bother you OP? I doubt anyone else on the forums really takes note of who flirts with who and who they don't. Do they? "They do. A lot of people take notice and a lot of people like to talk about who flirts with who, what they say, when they stop..... but that's a completely different point. It's something that if you don't feel it and have never felt it, you'll never understand how it could be felt by someone. And if you do feel it, it's hard to let go of. If you've never overheard someone refer to you as "fine for a shag on a dark night but you wouldn't take it out in public", or other similar delights, it won't make sense to you. | |||
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"No, I don’t feel as if I'm someone's dirty little secret. I don't get anything from frivolous forum flirting , so I don't do it. And I'm probably unlikely to be in any way attracted to anyone who does. I'm not keen on my business being for public consumption on here " Well thanks for your input | |||
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"If (when?) we get to meet, you certainly wouldn't be a secret, but dirty? That depends on how dirty you want to get!
I knew "dirty" would come back and bite me on the arse "Well if that's what turns you on I've got all my own teeth! (Except for a crown, one taken out and a few fillings!) | |||
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"I was talking to some people at club f on a recent visit (newcastle) about dirty talk and flirting, i was saying i am pretty awful at it…. Like as in me dirty talking OP “god i wish you were muddy-ier” which “apparently” is not what they meant ?? That might work for someone...... Mud fetish then? Not personally just verbally unskilled at seduction in a articulately unsuccessful manner "Oooh.... I dunno. Articulation can be an absolute joy for some people..... | |||
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"I don't mind being a dirty little secret, it's something at least "You are a delightful flirt. And you're just the same in public and private. No dirty little secrets for you young man | |||
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"I'm more flirty in the forums because I find I don't get replies in private or I can't message because I'm over 40 or male. Found that if a woman likes my forum posts they find and message me! " And when they do..... you continue to flirt in public and private? | |||
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"I don't mind being a dirty little secret, it's something at least
You are a delightful flirt. And you're just the same in public and private.
No dirty little secrets for you young man "Yes I don't change or put on a front, don't see the point of being different and I'm the same in person also | |||
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"I'll flirt with most on the forums and assume it's just forum flirting. It's when someone takes it seriously that it gets a bit tricky sometimes. If someone flirts with others and not me I'd just assume they have a better knowledge or more with the other people. Why does it bother you OP? I doubt anyone else on the forums really takes note of who flirts with who and who they don't. Do they?
They do. A lot of people take notice and a lot of people like to talk about who flirts with who, what they say, when they stop..... but that's a completely different point.
It's something that if you don't feel it and have never felt it, you'll never understand how it could be felt by someone. And if you do feel it, it's hard to let go of.
If you've never overheard someone refer to you as "fine for a shag on a dark night but you wouldn't take it out in public", or other similar delights, it won't make sense to you. "I hope you're not suggesting I'd have never experienced it and wouldn't experience. None of us are everyone's cup of tea. I'm just wondering why it bothers you at all. Surely it a helpful filter to who is right for you and who isn't? | |||
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Also don’t forget NSP you are truly stunning! And hotter that McDonald’s apple pies (they are thermonuclear you know) | |||
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"If (when?) we get to meet, you certainly wouldn't be a secret, but dirty? That depends on how dirty you want to get!
I knew "dirty" would come back and bite me on the arse
Well if that's what turns you on I've got all my own teeth!
(Except for a crown, one taken out and a few fillings!)
"I'm enjoying the dental honesty here..... | |||
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"I don't mind being a dirty little secret, it's something at least
You are a delightful flirt. And you're just the same in public and private.
No dirty little secrets for you young man
Yes I don't change or put on a front, don't see the point of being different and I'm the same in person also "Exactly. And that's how it should be x | |||
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"I'm more flirty in the forums because I find I don't get replies in private or I can't message because I'm over 40 or male. Found that if a woman likes my forum posts they find and message me! And when they do..... you continue to flirt in public and private?" A few little inside jokes might come out in the forums. Never bring up any specifics because that is private. Never been ashamed to admit who I like and not afraid to be honest in public. Affection should not be hidden, no one should ever feel like a dirty secret. X | |||
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"I'll flirt with most on the forums and assume it's just forum flirting. It's when someone takes it seriously that it gets a bit tricky sometimes. If someone flirts with others and not me I'd just assume they have a better knowledge or more with the other people. Why does it bother you OP? I doubt anyone else on the forums really takes note of who flirts with who and who they don't. Do they?
They do. A lot of people take notice and a lot of people like to talk about who flirts with who, what they say, when they stop..... but that's a completely different point.
It's something that if you don't feel it and have never felt it, you'll never understand how it could be felt by someone. And if you do feel it, it's hard to let go of.
If you've never overheard someone refer to you as "fine for a shag on a dark night but you wouldn't take it out in public", or other similar delights, it won't make sense to you.
I hope you're not suggesting I'd have never experienced it and wouldn't experience. None of us are everyone's cup of tea. I'm just wondering why it bothers you at all. Surely it a helpful filter to who is right for you and who isn't?"I'm not suggesting that. And I'm sorry if it came across that way. Was just making a point. No, none of us are everyone's cup of tea. And I agree, it can be a helpful filter. It's something that is bothering me because it has always bothered me. It has, in the past, implied (or overtly said) that because I'm fat (or whatever reason), I'm someone to be ashamed about. And no amount of "that says more about them than it does you" makes that better when you've been made to feel like that so much. | |||
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"I'll flirt with most on the forums and assume it's just forum flirting. It's when someone takes it seriously that it gets a bit tricky sometimes. If someone flirts with others and not me I'd just assume they have a better knowledge or more with the other people. Why does it bother you OP? I doubt anyone else on the forums really takes note of who flirts with who and who they don't. Do they?
They do. A lot of people take notice and a lot of people like to talk about who flirts with who, what they say, when they stop..... but that's a completely different point.
It's something that if you don't feel it and have never felt it, you'll never understand how it could be felt by someone. And if you do feel it, it's hard to let go of.
If you've never overheard someone refer to you as "fine for a shag on a dark night but you wouldn't take it out in public", or other similar delights, it won't make sense to you.
I hope you're not suggesting I'd have never experienced it and wouldn't experience. None of us are everyone's cup of tea. I'm just wondering why it bothers you at all. Surely it a helpful filter to who is right for you and who isn't?
I'm not suggesting that. And I'm sorry if it came across that way. Was just making a point. No, none of us are everyone's cup of tea.
And I agree, it can be a helpful filter. It's something that is bothering me because it has always bothered me. It has, in the past, implied (or overtly said) that because I'm fat (or whatever reason), I'm someone to be ashamed about. And no amount of "that says more about them than it does you" makes that better when you've been made to feel like that so much."Well it did very much come across like it was meant that way. Why else say it? | |||
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"I’ve experienced this and it can be a crappy feeling but it’s something you kinda of get used too
Also don’t forget NSP you are truly stunning! And hotter that McDonald’s apple pies (they are thermonuclear you know) "My point being Geeky my sweet..... you shouldn't get used to it. You shouldn't have to. And thank you | |||
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"I'm more flirty in the forums because I find I don't get replies in private or I can't message because I'm over 40 or male. Found that if a woman likes my forum posts they find and message me! And when they do..... you continue to flirt in public and private? A few little inside jokes might come out in the forums. Never bring up any specifics because that is private. Never been ashamed to admit who I like and not afraid to be honest in public. Affection should not be hidden, no one should ever feel like a dirty secret. X" That last sentence is exactly my point. Thank you xx | |||
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"Can honestly say i have never been someone's dirty little secret or made a woman feel that way either" Good. Keep that up. Best way to be | |||
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"I know exactly how you feel OP, lots of flirting by email etc but doesn’t know if he can meet that night, then displays a veri from someone else. Or the messages that say I’ve always wanted to meet an older woman, or a bbw. You look at the profile and they have posted a meet saying anyone, anywhere lol. Is it too much to ask for someone to want to meet me as I’m me not just a category. And I don’t feel sorry for myself either, just some folk on here think you button up the back x"They do. And you're not a category, you're a unique person who deserves to be wanted for just who you are xx | |||
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"I don't mind being a dirty little secret, it's something at least
You are a delightful flirt. And you're just the same in public and private.
No dirty little secrets for you young man
Yes I don't change or put on a front, don't see the point of being different and I'm the same in person also "I doth my hat to you sir... In person can be harder as a consequence of being shy but doesn't mean I'm any different, it just takes a while to let the inner demon and naughtiness out. | |||
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"I'll flirt with most on the forums and assume it's just forum flirting. It's when someone takes it seriously that it gets a bit tricky sometimes. If someone flirts with others and not me I'd just assume they have a better knowledge or more with the other people. Why does it bother you OP? I doubt anyone else on the forums really takes note of who flirts with who and who they don't. Do they?
They do. A lot of people take notice and a lot of people like to talk about who flirts with who, what they say, when they stop..... but that's a completely different point.
It's something that if you don't feel it and have never felt it, you'll never understand how it could be felt by someone. And if you do feel it, it's hard to let go of.
If you've never overheard someone refer to you as "fine for a shag on a dark night but you wouldn't take it out in public", or other similar delights, it won't make sense to you.
I hope you're not suggesting I'd have never experienced it and wouldn't experience. None of us are everyone's cup of tea. I'm just wondering why it bothers you at all. Surely it a helpful filter to who is right for you and who isn't?
I'm not suggesting that. And I'm sorry if it came across that way. Was just making a point. No, none of us are everyone's cup of tea.
And I agree, it can be a helpful filter. It's something that is bothering me because it has always bothered me. It has, in the past, implied (or overtly said) that because I'm fat (or whatever reason), I'm someone to be ashamed about. And no amount of "that says more about them than it does you" makes that better when you've been made to feel like that so much.
Well it did very much come across like it was meant that way. Why else say it?"Because I was answering the question as to why it bothers me. I'm glad it isn't something that bothers you. But it does bother some people. And some people are hurt by it. As I've pointed out earlier, this thread wasn't about me and I just used my experience to illustrate the point I was making. | |||
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"I’ve experienced this and it can be a crappy feeling but it’s something you kinda of get used too
Also don’t forget NSP you are truly stunning! And hotter that McDonald’s apple pies (they are thermonuclear you know)
My point being Geeky my sweet..... you shouldn't get used to it. You shouldn't have to.
And thank you "I understand that my lovely but I’ve learnt from The experience, I’m not second best, the last resort or the bottom of the barrel and I Let be known if I feel someone thinks that about me. I didn’t explain myself very well by using the term I’m used to it ( I should of said I know the signs, the feels and I don’t except anyone thinking badly of me) Also I don’t change who I am for anyone I’m the same silly, funny, flirty if not a little cheesy filthy gentleman on the forums in private and public
You’re welcome...just the truth
Also you’d Never be my dirty little secret.....I’d proudly show with my actions, shout it out if I had too....that you were with me, how amazing you are and how beautiful you are inside and out
I’ll stop here with my thoughts and compliments or I’ll make you uncomfortable | |||
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"Sometimes it might just be an over correction to not lamppost piss and not comment over all of their posts. Or they're playing it cool. I would have thought most would be mature enough to not do what you are saying but people continue to surprise and disappoint me "Sadly Mag, disappointment is rarely a surprise. If it's an over correction or playing it cool, that should be communicated. And that was my point in the OP. Communicate. | |||
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"I’ve experienced this and it can be a crappy feeling but it’s something you kinda of get used too
Also don’t forget NSP you are truly stunning! And hotter that McDonald’s apple pies (they are thermonuclear you know)
My point being Geeky my sweet..... you shouldn't get used to it. You shouldn't have to.
And thank you
I understand that my lovely but I’ve learnt from The experience, I’m not second best, the last resort or the bottom of the barrel and I Let be known if I feel someone thinks that about me.
I didn’t explain myself very well by using the term I’m used to it ( I should of said I know the signs, the feels and I don’t except anyone thinking badly of me)
Also I don’t change who I am for anyone I’m the same silly, funny, flirty if not a little cheesy filthy gentleman on the forums in private and public
You’re welcome...just the truth
Also you’d Never be my dirty little secret.....I’d proudly show with my actions, shout it out if I had too....that you were with me, how amazing you are and how beautiful you are inside and out
I’ll stop here with my thoughts and compliments or I’ll make you uncomfortable "I'm glad that's what you meant rather than being used to it. And yes, you're exactly the same in public and private. A total delight x | |||
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"Can honestly say i have never been someone's dirty little secret or made a woman feel that way either Good. Keep that up. Best way to be" Id never change the way i am NSP people may or may not like the way i am but thats there loss | |||
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"I’ve experienced this and it can be a crappy feeling but it’s something you kinda of get used too
Also don’t forget NSP you are truly stunning! And hotter that McDonald’s apple pies (they are thermonuclear you know)
My point being Geeky my sweet..... you shouldn't get used to it. You shouldn't have to.
And thank you
I understand that my lovely but I’ve learnt from The experience, I’m not second best, the last resort or the bottom of the barrel and I Let be known if I feel someone thinks that about me.
I didn’t explain myself very well by using the term I’m used to it ( I should of said I know the signs, the feels and I don’t except anyone thinking badly of me)
Also I don’t change who I am for anyone I’m the same silly, funny, flirty if not a little cheesy filthy gentleman on the forums in private and public
You’re welcome...just the truth
Also you’d Never be my dirty little secret.....I’d proudly show with my actions, shout it out if I had too....that you were with me, how amazing you are and how beautiful you are inside and out
I’ll stop here with my thoughts and compliments or I’ll make you uncomfortable
I'm glad that's what you meant rather than being used to it. And yes, you're exactly the same in public and private. A total delight x"Thank you...means a lot x | |||
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The thought of me licking your sugar encrusted rim seemed to excite a few people | |||
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"I suppose when I joined the forum I was hoping that here, of all places, would be folk who were open-minded, equality conscious, non-judgemental, happy-go-lucky, adults. I expected friendliness, sharing, sexy flirting and banter. And that can be had. But so many of the public exchanges are rancourous, self-agrandising, and self-justifying. I don't think that really reflects most of the people in here who likely keep their heads down and operate just below the public radar. People individually can be divine, but often, collectively decline to the lowest possible denominator. It's a hard world sometimes, even just finding a little adult fun. Go well everyone x" I can't disagree with any of what you've said. But I'll point out that there can be a real sense of community and caring here as well. And fun, if you look for it or make your own. | |||
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"I don't mind being a dirty little secret, it's something at least
You are a delightful flirt. And you're just the same in public and private.
No dirty little secrets for you young man
Yes I don't change or put on a front, don't see the point of being different and I'm the same in person also
I doth my hat to you sir... In person can be harder as a consequence of being shy but doesn't mean I'm any different, it just takes a while to let the inner demon and naughtiness out. "I have my moments of being a bit shy also but I think everyone does. It's all about living for the moment | |||
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"I can honestly say that in the real world I've never felt that way. I am not just a smidge chunky though, I've been very fat all my life. For someone to go for me they have to like a very fat lass so they tend to be less embarrassed about it or desperate to hide it I guess. When I first signed up here I met one bloke and sent a verification thinking I was being helpful as he was unverified. He panicked and was trying to find out how to delete it or whether I could take it back as he didn't want it known he'd been with me. He messaged me wanting to meet every time he'd been out on the sesh, and every time I told him to shove it. It's the one and only time I've really felt someone else's embarrassment, and it only made me think less of him, not of myself. Nobody needs to be someone's dirty secret, we're all worth more than that. I don't tend to flirt on the forums because I'm not a flirty type, but if I'm meeting someone I've no desperate desire to hide that fact. I just don't want to look territorial or stand in the way of them meeting someone else, if that makes sense. " Thay completely makes sense. And I think there is a line between looking territorial and just flirting. You're completely right when you say we are all worth more than being a dirty little secret. And that was the point I was making in my OP..... the point that seems to have been missed on occasion. | |||
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"I probably do more forum flirting than private flirting... In fact i do very little private flirting as i don't want to lead on /give the wrong impression
The thought of me licking your sugar encrusted rim seemed to excite a few people "That thought excited many many people
I do more public than private flirting for that reason, and my point was merely that if you're flirting in private then flirting in public (if you're a public flirt) shouldn't be something you're ashamed to do.
And if it isn't a shame thing, the simple private comment of "I like to keep my actual intentions private" is a really easy way to stop the other person from being bothered. That's all.
P.S. flirt your butt off woman. And lick my sweet rim any time | |||
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"I hear what you’re saying lovely! In past relationships I’ve felt like a dirty little secret! I dated a guy for five years, he would never hold my hand or be affectionate in public, no one would ever have known we were together! I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone about us either so it had to be kept secret! He definitely wasn’t married btw! But it made me feel horrible about myself, not good enough, best kept as a secret as why would he want to be seen with me! I didn’t learn, and the next guy did the same thing. I found out he’d been with 30+ women in the six months we were together, hence the secrecy, but again was I good enough for him if he did that? Anyways I’m rambling haha, it’s a rubbish situation for anyone! Miss pc "I'm glad you get it. And sad you do as well. And have the hope and very little doubt that your other half makes you know you're no secret these days! | |||
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"If I’m chatting privately with anyone from the forums that I’m looking at potentially meeting it does not bother me if they flirt with others and not me in fact I prefer it. It keeps the idle gossip at bay and we all know it happens. Same goes for verifications I keep the forum ones hidden or ask not to be left one for the same reason as above So I suppose my answer to your original post is no I don’t feel like I’m a dirty little secret " I'm glad you don't. No one should. And it would be perfect if everyone felt the way you do
It's the polar opposite to the dirty little secret really.... but they both take communicating about to make sure both parties are on the same page. | |||
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"Nobody should be felt to be a dirty secret. That is unfair in so many ways. Can’t see why any guy would want to hide any of you lovely ladies away " Nobody should. Entirely. But sometimes they do. And I'm just trying to encourage communication so that doesn't happen..... | |||
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"I think the thing is that most of us like to feel as though we matter to someone else. If their behaviour overall doesn't make us feel we do, no amount of telling them so will really change that. " Communicating that we feel that way is the only possible way to make it change though. And that was my point. | |||
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"I think the thing is that most of us like to feel as though we matter to someone else. If their behaviour overall doesn't make us feel we do, no amount of telling them so will really change that. Communicating that we feel that way is the only possible way to make it change though. And that was my point." I don't follow that thinking It would get tiring pretty quickly if we had to keep telling someone that their behaviour makes us feel like we matter to them | |||
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"I think the thing is that most of us like to feel as though we matter to someone else. If their behaviour overall doesn't make us feel we do, no amount of telling them so will really change that. Communicating that we feel that way is the only possible way to make it change though. And that was my point. I don't follow that thinking It would get tiring pretty quickly if we had to keep telling someone that their behaviour makes us feel like we matter to them "  | |||
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"I think the thing is that most of us like to feel as though we matter to someone else. If their behaviour overall doesn't make us feel we do, no amount of telling them so will really change that. Communicating that we feel that way is the only possible way to make it change though. And that was my point. I don't follow that thinking It would get tiring pretty quickly if we had to keep telling someone that their behaviour makes us feel like we matter to them " You shouldn't have to keep saying it at all. But if you never say it they've got no way of knowing. | |||
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"I think the thing is that most of us like to feel as though we matter to someone else. If their behaviour overall doesn't make us feel we do, no amount of telling them so will really change that. Communicating that we feel that way is the only possible way to make it change though. And that was my point. I don't follow that thinking It would get tiring pretty quickly if we had to keep telling someone that their behaviour makes us feel like we matter to them " I read this thread the opposite way, not as someone constantly telling another person that they matter, but if you feel like you're being hidden then you'd communicate that to the person you felt was hiding you away to understand the reason behind the behaviour (which could actually be down to a million different things). | |||
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"Off at a tangent here but we have occasionally had a social where we've felt that we're viewed as a dirty little secret. Constant glances at the door, nervous checking of the phone, insistence on meeting away from the local area, that sort of thing" And that's equally as bad. Discretion is fine, but unless you're sat there with your flashing neon "swinger on a social meet..... we want to shag this person" sign, who would ever even consider there was anything going on. I've no doubt you give them short shrift when that happens! | |||
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"Know that feeling all the time Most off the guys who messages me i feeling like that Feel like they only messages me because they first choice woman wouldn’t message them back and no luck with they second choice couples So they look for a tv/ts because someone somewhere not shour whare told them we’re easy and gaging for it witch is far from the truth Oooo and nsp absolutely beautiful sexy bum you have xx" Thanks Nat. And that's what I mean. You aren't to be ashamed of. And you shouldn't be feeling like that. People should not be ashamed to like who and what they like. | |||
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"I think the thing is that most of us like to feel as though we matter to someone else. If their behaviour overall doesn't make us feel we do, no amount of telling them so will really change that. Communicating that we feel that way is the only possible way to make it change though. And that was my point. I don't follow that thinking It would get tiring pretty quickly if we had to keep telling someone that their behaviour makes us feel like we matter to them I read this thread the opposite way, not as someone constantly telling another person that they matter, but if you feel like you're being hidden then you'd communicate that to the person you felt was hiding you away to understand the reason behind the behaviour (which could actually be down to a million different things). " That's exactly what I meant by it. Thank you. | |||
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"I had a flatmate at university who never showed his girlfriend any affection in public, if he was holding her hand walking down the street and saw someone he knew he'd stop doing it, would introduce her to people as his mate etc. He was a real dick to her. When he got a new girlfriend he wouldn't shut up about her and was all over her in public. So it was all his dickhead thoughts about the 1st one for the way he treated her. I felt really sorry for her." And that's the kind of behaviour I mean. Potentially he didn't realise he was doing it, but if he did (and I confess, I lean that way) then total dick move. | |||
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"Know that feeling all the time Most off the guys who messages me i feeling like that Feel like they only messages me because they first choice woman wouldn’t message them back and no luck with they second choice couples So they look for a tv/ts because someone somewhere not shour whare told them we’re easy and gaging for it witch is far from the truth Oooo and nsp absolutely beautiful sexy bum you have xx Thanks Nat. And that's what I mean. You aren't to be ashamed of. And you shouldn't be feeling like that. People should not be ashamed to like who and what they like." Your welcome and no they shouldn’t be as there nothing to be ashamed off x | |||
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"I had a flatmate at university who never showed his girlfriend any affection in public, if he was holding her hand walking down the street and saw someone he knew he'd stop doing it, would introduce her to people as his mate etc. He was a real dick to her. When he got a new girlfriend he wouldn't shut up about her and was all over her in public. So it was all his dickhead thoughts about the 1st one for the way he treated her. I felt really sorry for her. And that's the kind of behaviour I mean. Potentially he didn't realise he was doing it, but if he did (and I confess, I lean that way) then total dick move." He knew! He was just a dick. | |||
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"What I'm going to say may offend but I believe it to be true: Fab and social media is a false economy... The attention any get on here is seldom a reflation of who they are and what they offer but more about the lust of the attention giver with their own motives... Unfortunately sex can be a very selfish act with just the need of a willing participant nothing more...the security of this can be seasoned with compliments and attention until the deal is done.... Men and women know how to stroke the ego, we know the value of beauty in the eyes of society and who needs to hear it the most that will garnish us the meal we crave. I think we have to be honest with ourselves and see Fab for what it is and what it can never be: its a site that offers free sex, with no effort, no expectations, no future...Fab it not the real world, nor our its testimonies, they are simply the act of a burp after a free meal. If we play the game, we play by its rules, the real world plays a different game with different rules....choose your game" Free sex with no effort? Fucking hell I've been getting it very badly wrong on here | |||
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"We're both quite private people and see no need for public declarations. You would never have seen our getting together stage on Fab because we kept it discreet. I quite like the smiles behind closed doors. I find it intimate and more personal. I get there are people that don't behave quite so ethically, both ways, and I wouldn't like what you've described, NSP. I think it's all down to honesty with each other and both feeling grounded and happy with oneself. C" I completely concur C. It is all about honesty and being happy in your own skin. The smiles behind closed doors are one of the best parts about any flirtation. I don't believe it all needs to be public, not by a long shot. I just think that if there is a major difference between public and private, and it could seem as though it might feel to one or the other as "shame" rather than discretion, that needs to be addressed. By either party. It's a safe thing that people are like it I think. | |||
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"What I'm going to say may offend but I believe it to be true: Fab and social media is a false economy... The attention any get on here is seldom a reflation of who they are and what they offer but more about the lust of the attention giver with their own motives... Unfortunately sex can be a very selfish act with just the need of a willing participant nothing more...the security of this can be seasoned with compliments and attention until the deal is done.... Men and women know how to stroke the ego, we know the value of beauty in the eyes of society and who needs to hear it the most that will garnish us the meal we crave. I think we have to be honest with ourselves and see Fab for what it is and what it can never be: its a site that offers free sex, with no effort, no expectations, no future...Fab it not the real world, nor our its testimonies, they are simply the act of a burp after a free meal. If we play the game, we play by its rules, the real world plays a different game with different rules....choose your game" I think that's one way of looking at fab. I also think for a lot of people it's not how they see it. No offense taken though. | |||
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"I think the thing is that most of us like to feel as though we matter to someone else. If their behaviour overall doesn't make us feel we do, no amount of telling them so will really change that. Communicating that we feel that way is the only possible way to make it change though. And that was my point." I wouldn’t want to change someone though, if they are comfortable flirting in public or pda that is them, but if the other prefers private, neither should have to change or do something that makes them uncomfortable just to suit the other. For me it just means we aren’t compatible and you go your separate ways. | |||
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"I think the thing is that most of us like to feel as though we matter to someone else. If their behaviour overall doesn't make us feel we do, no amount of telling them so will really change that. Communicating that we feel that way is the only possible way to make it change though. And that was my point. I wouldn’t want to change someone though, if they are comfortable flirting in public or pda that is them, but if the other prefers private, neither should have to change or do something that makes them uncomfortable just to suit the other. For me it just means we aren’t compatible and you go your separate ways. " Neither should have to change, the change is in the perception of the actions. If I said to someone "you never flirt with me in the forum" and they said "I'd rather keep our friendship between us, because I prefer to be discreet when I actually like someone", then absolutely fine. As long as it hadn't started as constant public flirting, because that's contradictory and smells like manure. And the same goes the other way round. No one is being asked to change in this situation. Just to communicate. But again, we all do things differently, we look at things differently and no one is wrong or right. Just hopefully willing to communicate if it means enough to do so. | |||
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"I'd think I might like to be a secret to someone. All clandestine and furtive. Private conversations just seem to dwindle out, and flirting on the forums is just one voice in a sea of shouting - easily missed and soon forgotten" There's a difference between being a clandestine secret and a dirty one though..... | |||
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"I think the thing is that most of us like to feel as though we matter to someone else. If their behaviour overall doesn't make us feel we do, no amount of telling them so will really change that. Communicating that we feel that way is the only possible way to make it change though. And that was my point. I wouldn’t want to change someone though, if they are comfortable flirting in public or pda that is them, but if the other prefers private, neither should have to change or do something that makes them uncomfortable just to suit the other. For me it just means we aren’t compatible and you go your separate ways. Neither should have to change, the change is in the perception of the actions. If I said to someone "you never flirt with me in the forum" and they said "I'd rather keep our friendship between us, because I prefer to be discreet when I actually like someone", then absolutely fine. As long as it hadn't started as constant public flirting, because that's contradictory and smells like manure. And the same goes the other way round. No one is being asked to change in this situation. Just to communicate. But again, we all do things differently, we look at things differently and no one is wrong or right. Just hopefully willing to communicate if it means enough to do so." We do all do things differently and I think, in this place anyway, it is how you view flirting in the forums - real or not and that is where people’s minds can be messed with and people hurt. Some choose to keep their real flirting outside of the forums, even if started in there, cool things in the forum, as well there are just too many nosey so and sos to put it politely. | |||
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"I'd think I might like to be a secret to someone. All clandestine and furtive. Private conversations just seem to dwindle out, and flirting on the forums is just one voice in a sea of shouting - easily missed and soon forgotten There's a difference between being a clandestine secret and a dirty one though....." That's true. It's all about perception and intent. Ghosting someone in public because you are afraid of what others might think is pretty low behaviour. | |||
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"Off at a tangent here but we have occasionally had a social where we've felt that we're viewed as a dirty little secret. Constant glances at the door, nervous checking of the phone, insistence on meeting away from the local area, that sort of thing And that's equally as bad. Discretion is fine, but unless you're sat there with your flashing neon "swinger on a social meet..... we want to shag this person" sign, who would ever even consider there was anything going on. I've no doubt you give them short shrift when that happens!" Oh we never switch the sign on until the second meet .
Short shrift? Moi? | |||
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"I think you may be looking at this the wrong way, and rather than being a dirty little secret it’s actually they might be in a more meaningful position privately. They just have flirted here with you at some point to get your attention no? Could it be that as you are interacting with them privately and perhaps more personally there that they don’t feel it necessary to flirt openly with you here? Lamppost pissing as you say? Personally if I’m talking with someone privately I would feel that was a more deeper connection than just brandishing it across the forum. Like all relationships you move past points and I wouldn’t necessarily say that as they don’t openly flirt with you that you are being kept a secret. Ps - nice tits " From the way I read the post initially... I don't think any of what you said is the issue but that of not communicating is. What you said is valid and true, things progress, move on etc and we all react differently but with an outwardly apparent change in public, it could and can lead to doubt... especially if the recipient doesn't know why and hence the feelings of being a dirty little secret or that the other party is embarrassed. Communication being the key!! I do think the whole thread has shown what utter arses some blokes can be though and makes me genuinely sad that some genuinely beautiful women have ever felt this way and been treated as such... nobody deserves that! It does also question society and acceptance as a whole though and this is probably worse. I would definitely agree with your final comment though... very much so, along with the lady attached. | |||
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"I dont flirt much on the forums as I take it as not a true comment of someones views on them. It really shows there true feelings at special times ( valentines and christmas times ) as they dont get anything. Unlike real life aspect as you tend to get a true reaction from people. In the bar flirting id take it as your trying to interest me in staying to buy more drinks. As whats happened often the ladies in question whos caught my interest has the ones being decent. Will chat to anyone and have a laugh with them instead of being stuck up ignoring them. Im the same and will chat to anyone and have a laugh with them. You might be surprised to know theres many on here that are stuck up and ignore others. So its not just the larger people that have to put up with it." I'd never say it's just the larger people who get it. There are a lot of people who do, for whatever reason. I'm sorry you've felt like that too. | |||
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"I have no interest in doing anything that would make someone think or feel that I am in any way ashamed or embarrassed to be associated with them. However, I also know that when my current sub updated her profile to state she was now in a D/s dynamic she was subject to some horrific behaviour by people on here and other sites. It is for that reason alone that any talk of discretion would be entertained. " Discretion is definitely the better part of valour, certainly in that case. And that's not on at all. | |||
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"Off at a tangent here but we have occasionally had a social where we've felt that we're viewed as a dirty little secret. Constant glances at the door, nervous checking of the phone, insistence on meeting away from the local area, that sort of thing And that's equally as bad. Discretion is fine, but unless you're sat there with your flashing neon "swinger on a social meet..... we want to shag this person" sign, who would ever even consider there was anything going on. I've no doubt you give them short shrift when that happens! Oh we never switch the sign on until the second meet .
Short shrift? Moi? "Well it can't be the sign then.... they must just have been muppets dammit! And I know..... I'm shocked I even suggested it | |||
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"I think you may be looking at this the wrong way, and rather than being a dirty little secret it’s actually they might be in a more meaningful position privately. They just have flirted here with you at some point to get your attention no? Could it be that as you are interacting with them privately and perhaps more personally there that they don’t feel it necessary to flirt openly with you here? Lamppost pissing as you say? Personally if I’m talking with someone privately I would feel that was a more deeper connection than just brandishing it across the forum. Like all relationships you move past points and I wouldn’t necessarily say that as they don’t openly flirt with you that you are being kept a secret. Ps - nice tits " Nice arse | |||
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"I think the thing is that most of us like to feel as though we matter to someone else. If their behaviour overall doesn't make us feel we do, no amount of telling them so will really change that. Communicating that we feel that way is the only possible way to make it change though. And that was my point. I wouldn’t want to change someone though, if they are comfortable flirting in public or pda that is them, but if the other prefers private, neither should have to change or do something that makes them uncomfortable just to suit the other. For me it just means we aren’t compatible and you go your separate ways. Neither should have to change, the change is in the perception of the actions. If I said to someone "you never flirt with me in the forum" and they said "I'd rather keep our friendship between us, because I prefer to be discreet when I actually like someone", then absolutely fine. As long as it hadn't started as constant public flirting, because that's contradictory and smells like manure. And the same goes the other way round. No one is being asked to change in this situation. Just to communicate. But again, we all do things differently, we look at things differently and no one is wrong or right. Just hopefully willing to communicate if it means enough to do so. We do all do things differently and I think, in this place anyway, it is how you view flirting in the forums - real or not and that is where people’s minds can be messed with and people hurt. Some choose to keep their real flirting outside of the forums, even if started in there, cool things in the forum, as well there are just too many nosey so and sos to put it politely. " I agree entirely with that. | |||
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"Who doesn't love the odd dirty secret....ps nice collar bone Posh.... "Cheers DD..... Secret, yes.... dirty secret not so much. | |||
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"And I'll be honest I've been on the receiving end of it and it does make me doubt people's true intentions at times " I hate that you get it. And I hate that you feel that way. You shouldn't. You're amazing, woman. | |||
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