FabSwingers.com forum: What did I do wrong?????

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Last nite i was followed by some guy for over half an hour while walking home from my friends house.

He saw me as i walked past the pub he was stood outside of & made a derogatory comment about the length of my skirt which i ignored. Next thing i knew he was following me making even more comments ref how i looked. I crossed the road & he followed & i even sped up a bit but he just ran too.

This went on for over half an hour till he caught up with me asking me "what my fucking problem was" then he realised that i was a trans girl & got very aggressive calling me a queer & a freak!

I just ran like fuck with him following me till i got to the Asda carpark which was well lit, by now my skirt had ridden up way too far showing pretty much everything which made this guy even more aggressive till one of the Asda vans drove past & slowed right down which seemed to scare him off!

I didn't hav my fone with me as id left it at my friends & I hadnt been wearing anything particularly revealing (see latest pics taken Before I went to my friends) so i hadnt been "asking for it".

What else could i have done??????

Im naturally a very passive & submissive girl anyway so found this situation impossible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh goodness how awful.

You absolutely did nothing wrong and even if you chose to walk down the road in your underwear it doesn't give anyone the right to frighten you or be abusive.

Glad you weren't hurt though but please report it to the police as the next person may not be so lucky x

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

You did nothing wrong!!!! I’ve been there, one of the scariest moments of my life…. Took me months to get over it! He is a dickhead and really sorry to hear that happened to you.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

There are alot of ignorant people around and you did not deserve this. I would have gone into Asda and phoned a friend to come and collect me.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'd get yourself a n alarm and maybe pepper spray ... just for your peace of mind

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

Terrifying. Easy to say from the comfort of home but where you went wrong was in failing to administer a swift and painful boot to his bollocks. When a guy is writhing in agony on the ground it’s then very easy to follow up with a stamp to the face. Not advocating violence in any way of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to report this to the police. Even though the attack wasn't physical, next time it could be.

I'm sorry that, that had to happen to you, people are dicks sometimes.

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could you not report to the police as a hate crime.

I'm sure he would have been caught on CCTV at some point.

It's so sad that we still have people like that in this world !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jeezo....thats really grim

As above, report to the 5-0 as could have gone the other way and next person in this guys crosshairs may not be so lucky

Lucky...hell,being able to walk about safely should never be about luck

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

That's horrid and totally unnecessary! I'm sorry u went through this xx

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

What a terrifying experience. How are you feeling today?

You did absolutely nothing wrong.

I would echo other posters though, please report it to the police.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please report to the police, next time he could do more.

Im sorry this has happened to you. It is not acceptable in any way and you have done nothing wrong x

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By *ess n BenCouple
over a year ago

Didcot

You have to report as difficult as that maybe

But if he thinks he has got away with it he will definitely do it again with really serious consequences

I would have thought there was cctv in the car park

Feeling for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gosh how scary for you. I hope you’re ok.

As others have said please report it to the police.

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By *umalotagainMan
over a year ago

a town called malice

There are definitely some people out there who shouldn't be allowed out in public with or without alcohol

horrid experience for anyone

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There are alot of ignorant people around and you did not deserve this. I would have gone into Asda and phoned a friend to come and collect me."

They were closed

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

It's very important you don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong at all. It's really important you report it to the police though because you might be saving somebody a worse situation.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You did nothing wrong op

Sorry you had to go though this

I always say my clothes are not my consent

If I want to walk down the street in sky high heels lingerie and stockings I should be able to without being bothered not that I would it’s just a saying

I would phone them police

If it ever happens again chap on the first house door you come to

And op if the worst comes to the worst

A punch in the adums apple and kick to the stones will drop the biggest off guys

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Yeah report to the police. It's weird behaviour. I know it didn't go well when he discovered you were trans and it took a turn, but could have went worse if you were the type of woman he was after.

They might be able to pick him up on the pub CCTV.

In future, make sure you have your phone. Pepper spray. R alarm.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Assuming pubs are still educating their staff about the ask for Angela campaign, then that is an option for some to find a safe space.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m so sorry that that happened to you, sound totally terrifying !! Jesus, try to report it and see if there are ways to find out who he is x let the police handle it

I can’t believe some people are still like that…

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By *orny-chubbyMan
over a year ago

East London

Sorry to hear about your horrific experience. Please report to police as it may have been caught on camera

Hope you are feeling better today x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You did nothing wrong. Just someone obviously looking to cause trouble. You should report it to the police. Hope you are ok.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The only person who did wrong is the guy.

I agree that reporting to the police is a good idea. However if the same thing happens to another person before you do or if you feel unable to the responsibility *still* lies solely with him. Your actions have nothing to do with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op this is a matter for the police. That kind of intimidating and aggressive behaviour is abhorrent. You should speak to your local dibble and make a statement.

As for being in the wrong quite simply you were not. You have every right to go about your lawful business. How you choose to dress or your manner of appearance has nothing to do with anyone.

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

You did nothing wrong. Dressing a certain way does not give someone the right to comment on your appearance.

If you were in a residential area or near an open shop you could maybe have knocked on a door and asked for assistance.

I'm sorry you had to experience this, I would definitely report to the police. I hope you're ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You did nothing wrong op

Sorry you had to go though this

I always say my clothes are not my consent

If I want to walk down the street in sky high heels lingerie and stockings I should be able to without being bothered not that I would it’s just a saying

I would phone them police

If it ever happens again chap on the first house door you come to

And op if the worst comes to the worst

A punch in the adums apple and kick to the stones will drop the biggest off guys "

If someone approaches from behind, it would be pretty difficult to pull that off

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

You did nothing wrong. The guy is an arsehole.

It doesn't matter what you were wearing it doesn't give anyone the right to treat you like that.

Please report this as the next person he picks on might not be lucky enough to get away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You did nothing wrong op

Sorry you had to go though this

I always say my clothes are not my consent

If I want to walk down the street in sky high heels lingerie and stockings I should be able to without being bothered not that I would it’s just a saying

I would phone them police

If it ever happens again chap on the first house door you come to

And op if the worst comes to the worst

A punch in the adums apple and kick to the stones will drop the biggest off guys

If someone approaches from behind, it would be pretty difficult to pull that off"

Pull your elbow up and pull it back these a reason MMA has some rules no shots to the nads and can’t punch in the throat

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"The only person who did wrong is the guy.

Spot on.

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By *anshee99Woman
over a year ago

all over

I hope you are reporting this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry this happened to you OP, hope you are ok x

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"You did nothing wrong op

Sorry you had to go though this

I always say my clothes are not my consent

If I want to walk down the street in sky high heels lingerie and stockings I should be able to without being bothered not that I would it’s just a saying

I would phone them police

If it ever happens again chap on the first house door you come to

And op if the worst comes to the worst

A punch in the adums apple and kick to the stones will drop the biggest off guys

If someone approaches from behind, it would be pretty difficult to pull that off

Pull your elbow up and pull it back these a reason MMA has some rules no shots to the nads and can’t punch in the throat "

Can just add that giving anyone self defence advice online is terrible advice and can absolutely make things worse.

Physically defending yourself is bottom of the list. Do everything you can in your power to stop it before you get to that point.

That means running, screaming, banging on any nearby houses/shops you can find. Offer them your phone, wallet, bag, whatever.

The absolute last call should be trying to defend yourself and offering that kinda advice online puts people at risk and can make the situation worse

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"The only person who did wrong is the guy.

Absolutely this.

Sorry this happened to you OP. It shouldn't have.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I hope you're ok OP that must have been frightening.

You did nothing wrong, it's something that unfortunately happens. It's the reason I'm paranoid and always carry my phone on me when I'm outdoors.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Last nite i was followed by some guy for over half an hour while walking home from my friends house.

This went on for over half an hour till he caught up with me asking me "what my fucking problem was" then he realised that i was a trans girl & got very aggressive calling me a queer & a freak!

I didn't hav my fone with me as id left it at my friends & I hadnt been wearing anything particularly revealing (see latest pics taken Before I went to my friends) so i hadnt been "asking for it".

What else could i have done??????

Im naturally a very passive & submissive girl anyway so found this situation impossible

Sorry you experienced this. I hope you’re doing as well as you can be today. Have you thought about buying an attack alarm? It’s awful to think we should have to even consider buying one, but, just to hopefully make you feel a safer xx

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

"Last nite i was followed by some guy for over half an hour while walking home from my friends house.

This went on for over half an hour till he caught up with me asking me "what my fucking problem was" then he realised that i was a trans girl & got very aggressive calling me a queer & a freak!

I didn't hav my fone with me as id left it at my friends & I hadnt been wearing anything particularly revealing (see latest pics taken Before I went to my friends) so i hadnt been "asking for it".

What else could i have done??????

Im naturally a very passive & submissive girl anyway so found this situation impossible

You did absolutely nothing wrong at all. But you should report it to the police, if not for yourself but for others

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By *lasphemouscoupleCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

So sorry this happened to you, you did absolutely nothing wrong, please check you have your phone when walking alone though, some people are vile. Hope you are ok x Mrs

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Hi Op

This has happened to me in the past guys following me as i left a club. Two lads standing in front of me as I was trying to get to a cab office, another one trying to push me down a back street. A d*unken guy in a pub having a rant at me over being in a gay venue dressed. You have to deal with the situation the best way you can, however violence is the last thing you should do.

If you’re not trained in self defence, hits to Adam’s apple or kicking someone in the balls you’re most likely going to miss or not hit hard enough. You only do that if he’s actually attacking you and there’s no way of escaping.

Get to a public space, yelling and screaming if you have to, in the guys face if he approaches you or gets into your personal space.

Then report it to the Police as soon as possible.

In 20 years of going out in public I can count on one hand truly scary moments whilst I was dressed. So don’t let this put you off, you have a right to wear what you want and go about your business without getting hassled.

Sending love

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By *andsome HandMan
over a year ago

roundabout

As everyone has said you did nothing wrong OP. The 'man's sounds like an absolute horror and I'm sorry you encountered him.

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By *ister-mischiefMan
over a year ago

Trafford

You did nothing wrong. Don't ever blame yourself for the actions of others. Hope your feeling OK today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP, this is awful and you did absolutely nothing wrong. Hope you're feeling okay today xx

If the ASDA car park had cameras you should report to the police ASAP. This guy shouldn't be allowed on the streets.

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By *iltopbearMan
over a year ago

Norfolk

You did nothing wrong OP, the guy who followed was.

I have to agree with other replies, this need reporting to the Police. He may do it again but take things further. Someone else could get harassed by the same man.

Sorry this happened to you x.

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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

You did nothing wrong and under no circumstances should anybody have to succumb to this kind of abuse...

Some lesser humans don't need reason. I was walking home from school in my teens, walked through an alley off of a busy high street and was then sexually assaulted by a bloke... it takes all sorts of low life and those with mental issues, so never judge yourself on it! X

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

You didn't do anything wrong and 100% the complete and utter twats fault but sadly way to much of it happening now and way to many blame "Themselves" and as most will tell you it is never ever ever about anything other than "Power" or a sense of "Entitlement " or even "Low self esteem" or a combo but still no excuse for what he did at all and so get yourself along to the Police and report his sorry excuse for a man ass and as the next time someone might not be so lucky but sorry to read your post as must have been scary as hell and please please don't blame yourself as someone who has alreasdy written upto you 100% what you choose to wear or not wear and way to many sad little men out there and even on this site

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Just some sad man giving abuse

OP hope your ok xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd get yourself a n alarm and maybe pepper spray ... just for your peace of mind"

Er not the pepper spray, that's an offensive weapon, you can't walk around with that 'just in case' in this country I'm afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By the way, other posts are correct, you should report it. It's a hate crime.

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

"Terrifying. Easy to say from the comfort of home but where you went wrong was in failing to administer a swift and painful boot to his bollocks. When a guy is writhing in agony on the ground it’s then very easy to follow up with a stamp to the face. Not advocating violence in any way of course. "

I can’t agree with that. What if you miss ... could make a bad situation a lot worse very quickly.

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

"Last nite i was followed by some guy for over half an hour while walking home from my friends house.

This went on for over half an hour till he caught up with me asking me "what my fucking problem was" then he realised that i was a trans girl & got very aggressive calling me a queer & a freak!

I didn't hav my fone with me as id left it at my friends & I hadnt been wearing anything particularly revealing (see latest pics taken Before I went to my friends) so i hadnt been "asking for it".

What else could i have done??????

Im naturally a very passive & submissive girl anyway so found this situation impossible

As others have said, please report this. Report it to the police. Report it to Asda in case they have any security footage and report it to the pub he was outside in case they have any footage.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi. There is no way i could fight him off, he was a lot bigger than me & i was hardly dressed for a fight or run off very fast.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so sorry OP. You done nothing wrong at all. I hope you're feeling okay today. Sending you a big hug

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I'd get yourself a n alarm and maybe pepper spray ... just for your peace of mind

Er not the pepper spray, that's an offensive weapon, you can't walk around with that 'just in case' in this country I'm afraid. "

You can use "Safehaus Self Defence Spray" which is a legal alternative.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"I'd get yourself a n alarm and maybe pepper spray ... just for your peace of mind

Er not the pepper spray, that's an offensive weapon, you can't walk around with that 'just in case' in this country I'm afraid.

You can use "Safehaus Self Defence Spray" which is a legal alternative. "
yes...stay legal ..but feel safer

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