FabSwingers.com forum: Hey

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How does my profile read to you guys?

Good or bad?

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Too much waffle, needs to be more concise and the paragraph in capitals is unnecessary... just block men from messaging you.

You also mean utmost not upmost. Upmost means highest on a list.

It won't do any harm, to double check your punctuation and grammar too.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

Reads well. Personally, I think it's a bit long. I'd also lose the stuff about being straight and just block single men. You'd come across less whiney if you did that.

The Dom bit also doesn't sit right for me. You may have a naturally dominant personality, but that does mean you can 'dom' every woman that comes your way.

But as I said, they are just personal nitpicks. On the whole it reads well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Reads well. Personally, I think it's a bit long. I'd also lose the stuff about being straight and just block single men. You'd come across less whiney if you did that.

The Dom bit also doesn't sit right for me. You may have a naturally dominant personality, but that does mean you can 'dom' every woman that comes your way.

But as I said, they are just personal nitpicks. On the whole it reads well."

These are what I need. Thank you.

I am going to give it a full rewrite

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Too much waffle, needs to be more concise and the paragraph in capitals is unnecessary... just block men from messaging you.

You also mean utmost not upmost. Upmost means highest on a list.

It won't do any harm, to double check your punctuation and grammar too.

Thank you. What do you mean by too much waffle? What parts would you class as waffle?

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Too much waffle, needs to be more concise and the paragraph in capitals is unnecessary... just block men from messaging you.

You also mean utmost not upmost. Upmost means highest on a list.

It won't do any harm, to double check your punctuation and grammar too.

Thank you. What do you mean by too much waffle? What parts would you class as waffle?"

You're using 10 words, where 3 would be sufficient.

People don't need a life story, just an overview of what you're seeking and can offer. Humour helps too.

Women do read profiles, but yours is likely to be more than even avid readers will want to tackle. It's about 3 pages long on a mobile phone. I would aim for about a third of that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually wouldn't have gotten past the pics but it was kind of ok... Unfortunately I stopped reading as soon as I hit "I am a dom"... I always do tho, it just prevents me reading any further, like hitting a barrier... I think it may be a con dom!

Sorry... My son sent me a fathers day card again n now I can't help myself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not starting a new novel at this time of night.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I usually wouldn't have gotten past the pics but it was kind of ok... Unfortunately I stopped reading as soon as I hit "I am a dom"... I always do tho, it just prevents me reading any further, like hitting a barrier... I think it may be a con dom!

Sorry... My son sent me a fathers day card again n now I can't help myself!

This!

Good profile and better than one liner.

But reserve the dom bit for when you speak/ write to people perhaps. Without wanting to patronise, it is also a bit difficult to accept from somebody so young. Not saying you are not or cant be but I would not put it in the profile for now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you everyone. Could you have a second look. I have shortened it and taken out parts that you pointed out. Thank you for this

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Far too long

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I’m not starting a new novel at this time of night."

Might help you get off to sleep

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

It starts "I am a Electrical and Electronic Engineering".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It starts "I am a Electrical and Electronic Engineering". "

Sorry. Corrected it. Was meant to say student haha

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"It starts "I am a Electrical and Electronic Engineering".

Sorry. Corrected it. Was meant to say student haha"

Also should say "an" not "a"

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

I agree with others who've said it's too long. A good rule is to cut it down to a phone screen length or so, keep it concise

LvM

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It starts "I am a Electrical and Electronic Engineering".

Sorry. Corrected it. Was meant to say student haha

Also should say "an" not "a""

Probs not the best idea to be doing this after a 12hr shift haha. I'm not this bad at English promise haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree with others who've said it's too long. A good rule is to cut it down to a phone screen length or so, keep it concise

LvM"

Thank you. Should I do a full rewrite or just snip it?

I've always been really bad with BIOS for everything

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By *aviniaCDTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds (close to GAP)

Ditch the 'Hey'!!

If you're only 12 you shouldn't be on here

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

You remember when you did your personal statement for uni? Maybe approach it like that, limited word count

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

"I agree with others who've said it's too long. A good rule is to cut it down to a phone screen length or so, keep it concise

LvM

Thank you. Should I do a full rewrite or just snip it?

I've always been really bad with BIOS for everything"

You could probably get away with deleting everything in the "extras" to be honest.

LvM

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

You are 'quite' good at massages, not 'quiet'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you everyone. I have majorly shortened it and I think it reads ok. Not robotic or anything I hope

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree with others who've said it's too long. A good rule is to cut it down to a phone screen length or so, keep it concise

LvM

Thank you. Should I do a full rewrite or just snip it?

I've always been really bad with BIOS for everything

You could probably get away with deleting everything in the "extras" to be honest.

LvM"

Thank you. I did think that was a it cringy

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