FabSwingers.com forum: Why do folks do this?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Twice recently I've arranged to meet. One meet was to be with a couple, I was to accommodate and we had spoken by phone, and another a single lady for a social meet in a pub. The couple didn't turn up, haven't answered my one text asking what happened and they have blocked me here. The single lady messaged here on the evening of the meet and said she was on the way to meet. I spent 2 hours waiting in the pub. She was no show. Guess what? Yep blocked here. I shall just put it down to experience and move on but just wonder why people do this. I'm not bitter about this and know it's the way of the world and Fab. Hey ho, hopefully next time - if there is one - a meet will actually go ahead.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Congrats on getting that far, you’re doing better than most blokes here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Sometimes there's a legitimate reason. Often there's not. I have no idea why people do it, no idea at all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *esmond and Molly JonesCouple
over a year ago

Watford

Fantasists. It seems to happen all the time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Everyone has the right to change their mind, but the way both of the above acted I think is out of order..sorry that happened to you..it's rather shitty behavior

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Congrats on getting that far, you’re doing better than most blokes here

I know, mind you this is the third time over about 4 years I've been here under various guises and it's the only time I've managed to get so far! Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

"Congrats on getting that far, you’re doing better than most blokes here

In what way ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Congrats on getting that far, you’re doing better than most blokes here

In what way ?"

As a single guy hes done well to get any replies, the to get to a point of arranging meets! The lads on a roll

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Congrats on getting that far, you’re doing better than most blokes here

In what way ?"

Actually getting to the point of an arranged meet. Most days it feels like it’d be easier to climb Everest using only your front teeth.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Cancellations happen.

Can absolutely guarantee that we can have loads of quiet uneventful weekends then the one weekend we arrange a meet something dramatic happens usually a family emergency or sickness.

But if it does we always explain well in advance and tell 100% the truth.

There's no excuse for treating someone badly and just ghosting them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Everyone has the right to change their mind, but the way both of the above acted I think is out of order..sorry that happened to you..it's rather shitty behavior "

Such is life eh. I've spoken to quite a few folks here and most have been very nice, polite and if they've not wanted to take things further they've said so and that is the right way to do things. Easy really One or two got arsey and not nice but I just thanked then for their time and blocked them. Job done.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Congrats on getting that far, you’re doing better than most blokes here

In what way ?

Actually getting to the point of an arranged meet. Most days it feels like it’d be easier to climb Everest using only your front teeth."

Haha exactly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Congrats on getting that far, you’re doing better than most blokes here

In what way ?

As a single guy hes done well to get any replies, the to get to a point of arranging meets! The lads on a roll

And rolled into a ditch! Hahaha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you speak to the single lady? If not... Probably a bloke... Did you speak to both the husband and wife? If not... Probably a bloke... I mean phone calls, not texts btw... If you did, then they were just arseholes!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *laymateteeMan
over a year ago

bristol

"Everyone has the right to change their mind, but the way both of the above acted I think is out of order..sorry that happened to you..it's rather shitty behavior "

I totally agree with you. The least that someone can do if they've changed their mind is tell you that they can't make it any. Sucks waiting 2 hours for some and then they block you after that .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ickyquimCouple
over a year ago

north west

"Fantasists. It seems to happen all the time. "

This….I’ve been away from fab for quite a awhile and only joined again after lockdown. Since then, after spending countless nights and days chatting to people and organising meets, I’ve had a few no shows and bottlers during the last couple of months. I’ve noticed there seem to be more fantasists and picture collectors than ever on here. That’s no excuse for people’s shitty behaviour, I’ve never understood why people can’t be honest from the start and say ‘I don’t want to meet you, just let me wank overyour emails and pics. ‘ this site would be so much simpler. You’ve just got to persevere and you’ll get a meet sometime.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Do folk report profiles for no-shows and time wasters who don't even give an excuse?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Fantasists. It seems to happen all the time. "

This. They like the chat and the build up, then bottle it. I've had this happen a few times.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do folk report profiles for no-shows and time wasters who don't even give an excuse?"

I think some have tried, but I doubt it’s a breach of T&Cs, so what could the mods do?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did you speak to the single lady? If not... Probably a bloke... Did you speak to both the husband and wife? If not... Probably a bloke... I mean phone calls, not texts btw... If you did, then they were just arseholes! "

Yes, I did speak to both husband and wife, both seemed eager to meet. No didn't speak to the single lady verbally just via messaging on profile.

Oh well, that's Fab life I suppose. Crack on is what I'm doing, not got anywhere yet but nil desperandum as they say

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

It's piss poor to let you done with no explanation or apology op.

I don't know why they do it, fantasist or changed their mind, if they got cold feet, a quick message is all it takes.

It's crap to leave someone hanging on for you, but sadly it does seem to happen regularly on here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

I have had two no shows in three weeks. But not from here. Both yes spoken on phone etc. Arranged to speak on morning of meet to confirm. Give address etc. Then no contact. Blocked etc . One this weekend . Pissed me off more. Turned down invite to friends for weekend. Three hour drive to friends . Meet was for Sunday night.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

"Twice recently I've arranged to meet. One meet was to be with a couple, I was to accommodate and we had spoken by phone, and another a single lady for a social meet in a pub. The couple didn't turn up, haven't answered my one text asking what happened and they have blocked me here. The single lady messaged here on the evening of the meet and said she was on the way to meet. I spent 2 hours waiting in the pub. She was no show. Guess what? Yep blocked here. I shall just put it down to experience and move on but just wonder why people do this. I'm not bitter about this and know it's the way of the world and Fab. Hey ho, hopefully next time - if there is one - a meet will actually go ahead. "

I had one last week, had been chatting for weeks, she wanted to meet when the kids went back to school, we had everything planned and agreed. I contacted her once the kids had gone back to school and she sent me some shit about only wanting guys with huge cocks and blocked me!

To me, it smacks of people who enjoy chatting about what they want to do, get to the final stage, get cold feet and then panic and block.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

O.P.

How thorough were you before agreeing to meet ?

Had you spoken by phone?

Had you cammed with them ?

Had you checked their verifications and those of the people they meet ?

Or did you pass a few messages on here and then a few texts and then think okay lets meet ?

The fact you were blocked both times leads me to believe that they weren't honest from the outset. They certainly aren't decent.

Treat yourself a bit better next time.

Arrange to meet them in a cafe that is a short walk from yours and your plan B could be to have a coffee and read the paper.

Go five mins late to give them time to be first there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No excuse for that behaviour at all! Sorry it happened xl

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

To me, it smacks of people who enjoy chatting about what they want to do, get to the final stage, get cold feet and then panic and block. "

I agree with this. It's chat for the lonely. They lure you on , it makes them feel wanted but at the final hurdle they crumble OR they never wanted a meet in the first place. Some of them are men too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

"Fantasists. It seems to happen all the time. "

I agree.

People like the idea of these meets more than having the actual meets!

Blocking you is pretty pants tho.

They should be straight and just apologize.

Hope next time actually happens for you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ifornowCouple
over a year ago

Skegness

It's just plain rude that they didn't let you know that they had decided not to meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I do not understand why it is so difficult to just send a message along the lines of "sorry, I have changed my mind" - costs nothing and stops the other person(s) from wasting travelling time and expense.

Basic manners really - I would not do it to people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

To me, it smacks of people who enjoy chatting about what they want to do, get to the final stage, get cold feet and then panic and block.

Another theory I have is that people overstretch themselves in terms of what they say they want to do, saying they’re up for all sorts of action rather than being comfortable saying they want to take things slowly. So when it then comes to meeting, they have promised the sun moon and stars and realise they can’t go through with it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

"Fantasists. It seems to happen all the time.

I agree.

People like the idea of these meets more than having the actual meets!

Blocking you is pretty pants tho.

They should be straight and just apologize.

Hope next time actually happens for you.

Blocking could be because they are ashamed, know they have pissed someone around and can’t face being asked why they hadn’t turned up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Shithousery of the highest order.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

It happens usually get cancelled b 4 hand never been sat waiting like that though that's just a cruel thing to do! But even if I get a cancellation I never rearrange! it might have been a legit reason! But just my decision! Cant do with flakey people x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"O.P.

How thorough were you before agreeing to meet ?

Had you spoken by phone?

Had you cammed with them ?

Had you checked their verifications and those of the people they meet ?

Or did you pass a few messages on here and then a few texts and then think okay lets meet ?

The fact you were blocked both times leads me to believe that they weren't honest from the outset. They certainly aren't decent.

Treat yourself a bit better next time.

Arrange to meet them in a cafe that is a short walk from yours and your plan B could be to have a coffee and read the paper.

Go five mins late to give them time to be first there. "

I'd spoken to the couple, both hubby and wife, on the phone and they seemed to be genuine. As for the lady, she wouldn't give a phone number for contact as she said didn't trust guys with her number until she had met them, which is understandable. I said I'd give her my number and she could call me and withold her number of she wanted but it was a no. But hey ho, lesson learnt and no harm done apart from wasting my time. Mind you it wasn't too bad as the ale was good and a bloke I was talking to gave me a horse racing tip which I backed with a tenner and it won at 12/1! So not a bad outcome after all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread