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"The time that people stop looking it as rejection and just view it as uncompatability will be amazing " I think OP is focussing on the rudeness and harshness of communication rather than rejection itself. Also, dressing it up as incompatibility is a bit of a stretch, as it sounds as though the lady in question didn’t share a single word with him, so pretty hard for her to have established that they were incompatible. Night clubs are a very superficial environment, if you go with some mates and have a laugh and a good night, great, but if you’re going to go home devastated because a mean girl wouldn’t talk to you or dance with you, then definitely not the right environment for a night out. | |||
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"The time that people stop looking it as rejection and just view it as uncompatability will be amazing I think OP is focussing on the rudeness and harshness of communication rather than rejection itself. Also, dressing it up as incompatibility is a bit of a stretch, as it sounds as though the lady in question didn’t share a single word with him, so pretty hard for her to have established that they were incompatible. Night clubs are a very superficial environment, if you go with some mates and have a laugh and a good night, great, but if you’re going to go home devastated because a mean girl wouldn’t talk to you or dance with you, then definitely not the right environment for a night out. " I don't have to speak to someone to know if I am attracted to them, or not... Why do you think talkung would be needed? | |||
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"Maybe stop approaching random women in nightclubs. If they wanted interaction with you they would ask or initiate. It would save her from having to make up a reason to not talk to you (or your friend), and save you from the embarrassment of rejection. A win-win." What so now men aren’t allowed to talk to anyone unless they’re prompted? Fuck off mate. Talk to who you want when you want and if they don’t want the attention then they’ll tell you albeit rudely seems to be acceptable these days. | |||
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"Don’t see it as rejection, see it as not wasting time and it saves you buying a poisonous person a drink " True. But no harm in people being a bit nicer. A smile and a “no thanks” isn’t that hard really. But I’m finding it hard to accept that a bloke has gone home upset because a girl was mean to him in a nightclub. | |||
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"The time that people stop looking it as rejection and just view it as uncompatability will be amazing I think OP is focussing on the rudeness and harshness of communication rather than rejection itself. Also, dressing it up as incompatibility is a bit of a stretch, as it sounds as though the lady in question didn’t share a single word with him, so pretty hard for her to have established that they were incompatible. Night clubs are a very superficial environment, if you go with some mates and have a laugh and a good night, great, but if you’re going to go home devastated because a mean girl wouldn’t talk to you or dance with you, then definitely not the right environment for a night out. " I meant for him to start viewing it as Incompatability not as a rejection, start positive thinking rather than stay in negative thinking. | |||
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"Maybe stop approaching random women in nightclubs. If they wanted interaction with you they would ask or initiate. It would save her from having to make up a reason to not talk to you (or your friend), and save you from the embarrassment of rejection. A win-win." Yes, never talk to women ever, EVER, you hear me, men leave women alone, unless and I repeat unless they talk to you first and even then tell them how grateful you are that they acknowledged your existence. Men know your limits. | |||
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"Don’t see it as rejection, see it as not wasting time and it saves you buying a poisonous person a drink True. But no harm in people being a bit nicer. A smile and a “no thanks” isn’t that hard really. But I’m finding it hard to accept that a bloke has gone home upset because a girl was mean to him in a nightclub. " Exactly but karma can be a biatch if you act like one let’s hope. I suppose it’d depend on his mental health situation as he was medicating. I have knew it be the case. | |||
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"Maybe stop approaching random women in nightclubs. If they wanted interaction with you they would ask or initiate. It would save her from having to make up a reason to not talk to you (or your friend), and save you from the embarrassment of rejection. A win-win. Yes, never talk to women ever, EVER, you hear me, men leave women alone, unless and I repeat unless they talk to you first and even then tell them how grateful you are that they acknowledged your existence. Men know your limits." You are employed from the neck down | |||
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"The time that people stop looking it as rejection and just view it as uncompatability will be amazing I think OP is focussing on the rudeness and harshness of communication rather than rejection itself. Also, dressing it up as incompatibility is a bit of a stretch, as it sounds as though the lady in question didn’t share a single word with him, so pretty hard for her to have established that they were incompatible. Night clubs are a very superficial environment, if you go with some mates and have a laugh and a good night, great, but if you’re going to go home devastated because a mean girl wouldn’t talk to you or dance with you, then definitely not the right environment for a night out. I don't have to speak to someone to know if I am attracted to them, or not... Why do you think talkung would be needed? " The key word there is compatibility. Yes, you can decide from the far end of the nightclub that you do/don’t fancy someone. But that has nothing to do with compatibility. To determine whether you are compatible with someone you would need to know some information about them, get to know them. Hence me saying that it’s a bit of a stretch to say that instant rejection is down to lack of compatibility. It sounds much more straightforward, that she didn’t like fat blokes and from a brief assessment had quickly concluded that OP’s mate was a fat bloke | |||
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"The time that people stop looking it as rejection and just view it as uncompatability will be amazing " This. Is. Awesome. This quote is amazing and that is how I’m now going to look at it. Thanks for sharing! Also, in the OP’s post the girl is just rude, not worth the time move on | |||
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"The thing is I know at this current time I am a little bit overweight I need to trim down a little bit before I start putting myself back out there. For my friend he just went in for the kill no pun intended. And for him to stand there and for her to point at his stomach it's like you're basically calling him fat. I just found it very rude for someone to do that" He should have pointed at her face and walked off laughing | |||
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"Don’t see it as rejection, see it as not wasting time and it saves you buying a poisonous person a drink True. But no harm in people being a bit nicer. A smile and a “no thanks” isn’t that hard really. But I’m finding it hard to accept that a bloke has gone home upset because a girl was mean to him in a nightclub. Exactly but karma can be a biatch if you act like one let’s hope. I suppose it’d depend on his mental health situation as he was medicating. I have knew it be the case. " If he was that vulnerable, then definitely not a good environment for him to be in. | |||
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"The time that people stop looking it as rejection and just view it as uncompatability will be amazing " | |||
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"The thing is I know at this current time I am a little bit overweight I need to trim down a little bit before I start putting myself back out there. For my friend he just went in for the kill no pun intended. And for him to stand there and for her to point at his stomach it's like you're basically calling him fat. I just found it very rude for someone to do that He should have pointed at her face and walked off laughing " Nah, no point being an arse just cos someone else is being an arse | |||
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"The thing is I know at this current time I am a little bit overweight I need to trim down a little bit before I start putting myself back out there. For my friend he just went in for the kill no pun intended. And for him to stand there and for her to point at his stomach it's like you're basically calling him fat. I just found it very rude for someone to do that" Yeah, that’s pretty rude of her alright. But when you say he has gone “in for the kill”, what exactly had he said / done? | |||
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" before he could even say anything she got her hand and pointed at his stomach and also then pointed at her ear and it was like your fat and I can't hear you " Silly boys. You completely read that body language wrong. Let me translate for you ~ She pointed just below his tummy and then to her ear… come here. | |||
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"The thing is I know at this current time I am a little bit overweight I need to trim down a little bit before I start putting myself back out there. For my friend he just went in for the kill no pun intended. And for him to stand there and for her to point at his stomach it's like you're basically calling him fat. I just found it very rude for someone to do that He should have pointed at her face and walked off laughing Nah, no point being an arse just cos someone else is being an arse " Yes but it’d make her realise how much it hurts so see it as education | |||
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" before he could even say anything she got her hand and pointed at his stomach and also then pointed at her ear and it was like your fat and I can't hear you Silly boys. You completely read that body language wrong. Let me translate for you ~ She pointed just below his tummy and then to her ear… come here. " Good point. Seems quite possible that she wasn’t pointing at his stomach, but was pointing at his cock and asking him to put it in her ear. | |||
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"The thing is I know at this current time I am a little bit overweight I need to trim down a little bit before I start putting myself back out there. For my friend he just went in for the kill no pun intended. And for him to stand there and for her to point at his stomach it's like you're basically calling him fat. I just found it very rude for someone to do that He should have pointed at her face and walked off laughing Nah, no point being an arse just cos someone else is being an arse Yes but it’d make her realise how much it hurts so see it as education " Unlikely. If she is already that offensive it could just make her even worse | |||
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"When you realise that women are on high alert constantly, especially in those situations, you wouldn't take it so personally. She may have clocked you and him a while before and had already decided to stop any interaction before it began. You and your friend seem to use alcohol as a crutch. Lastly, women have stopped being nice in order not to be abused in some way, get used to it." I get all that, and she may have been bored, turning down the 20th bloke of the night who had “gone in for the kill”, as OP put it, but a smile and a clear “no thanks” does the trick. | |||
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"And this is why nightclubs are the most dreadful of all places to meet someone. Loud music, alcohol, communication problems, etc. Plus you don't know if the other people there are there to hang out with their friends and just have a dance. Frankly there are far better places to socialise, where you can actually talk to someone if you wish." All true. Also, when OP describes the initial interaction as “going in for the kill”, it sounds as though the lads thought that picking up birds would be a bit of a formality. | |||
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" All true. Also, when OP describes the initial interaction as “going in for the kill”, it sounds as though the lads thought that picking up birds would be a bit of a formality. " Indeed. He misaligned his expectations. "Going to the nightclub to pick up Hawt Chicks" is not on these days. Nor has it ever been. | |||
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"It's not nice when you receive rejection but sometimes you just gotta brush your shoulders off and and get on with it. Me and my mate went to Southport went to a nightclub which for apparently for two 33yr old men it's uncommon. So a long story but I'll try and keep it short, my mate is on these tablets because he is suffering with anxiety and they sort of boost up his confidence so to speak so he went up to this girl waved at her and before he could even say anything she got her hand and pointed at his stomach and also then pointed at her ear and it was like your fat and I can't hear you So of course I felt really bad for him because on the way home it was him who is driving so there's me knocking budweisers and desperados down me and he was driving with Coca-Cola in his hand he literally felt so down on the way home it was like how some people can be so cruel. Anyway that Simon's rant of the day people can be so cruel and there must be an easier way to let someone down instead of fat shaming them full stop the worst thing is we are not even that chubby what I think I'm 15 stone 7 but I'm 6-ft 1" You seem unsure of your weight , op. One thread you’re 16 stone. Another you’re 15 stone 7. | |||
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"The time that people stop looking it as rejection and just view it as uncompatability will be amazing I think OP is focussing on the rudeness and harshness of communication rather than rejection itself. Also, dressing it up as incompatibility is a bit of a stretch, as it sounds as though the lady in question didn’t share a single word with him, so pretty hard for her to have established that they were incompatible. Night clubs are a very superficial environment, if you go with some mates and have a laugh and a good night, great, but if you’re going to go home devastated because a mean girl wouldn’t talk to you or dance with you, then definitely not the right environment for a night out. I don't have to speak to someone to know if I am attracted to them, or not... Why do you think talkung would be needed? The key word there is compatibility. Yes, you can decide from the far end of the nightclub that you do/don’t fancy someone. But that has nothing to do with compatibility. To determine whether you are compatible with someone you would need to know some information about them, get to know them. Hence me saying that it’s a bit of a stretch to say that instant rejection is down to lack of compatibility. It sounds much more straightforward, that she didn’t like fat blokes and from a brief assessment had quickly concluded that OP’s mate was a fat bloke " You still need an attraction (and he was close enough to see) ... Then talk to see if you're compatible... Plenty of blokes would do the same or similar if I approached them, if they didn't like fat women (or didn't want their mates to find out they do), people can fancy others, or not, for whatever reason they like, no? She might have just been pointing at him in general, we weren't there and his friend seems to have a problem about being a little overweight, so unless she actually said "fuck off fat boy" we will never know the truth about it... Just the assumptions. | |||
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"imagine the meltdown if a bird posted that a bloke pointed at her tummy and turned her down haha different rules haha " Yep | |||
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" before he could even say anything she got her hand and pointed at his stomach and also then pointed at her ear and it was like your fat and I can't hear you Silly boys. You completely read that body language wrong. Let me translate for you ~ She pointed just below his tummy and then to her ear… come here. " I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that - I would’ve thought she was telling your friend to come here I can’t hear you… | |||
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"So, if a woman had posted that this had happened to her I reckon the responses would have been very different. Op I'm sorry your friend encountered a rude person. No matter how bad your day has been being nasty to a stranger I'd never going to make it better." Well said | |||
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"Please don't hate me for this post " Nobody is hating, just putting different views forward | |||
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" before he could even say anything she got her hand and pointed at his stomach and also then pointed at her ear and it was like your fat and I can't hear you Silly boys. You completely read that body language wrong. Let me translate for you ~ She pointed just below his tummy and then to her ear… come here. " I wondered too if she didn't mean what they thought she meant. | |||
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"The time that people stop looking it as rejection and just view it as uncompatability will be amazing I think OP is focussing on the rudeness and harshness of communication rather than rejection itself. Also, dressing it up as incompatibility is a bit of a stretch, as it sounds as though the lady in question didn’t share a single word with him, so pretty hard for her to have established that they were incompatible. Night clubs are a very superficial environment, if you go with some mates and have a laugh and a good night, great, but if you’re going to go home devastated because a mean girl wouldn’t talk to you or dance with you, then definitely not the right environment for a night out. I don't have to speak to someone to know if I am attracted to them, or not... Why do you think talkung would be needed? The key word there is compatibility. Yes, you can decide from the far end of the nightclub that you do/don’t fancy someone. But that has nothing to do with compatibility. To determine whether you are compatible with someone you would need to know some information about them, get to know them. Hence me saying that it’s a bit of a stretch to say that instant rejection is down to lack of compatibility. It sounds much more straightforward, that she didn’t like fat blokes and from a brief assessment had quickly concluded that OP’s mate was a fat bloke You still need an attraction (and he was close enough to see) ... Then talk to see if you're compatible... Plenty of blokes would do the same or similar if I approached them, if they didn't like fat women (or didn't want their mates to find out they do), people can fancy others, or not, for whatever reason they like, no? She might have just been pointing at him in general, we weren't there and his friend seems to have a problem about being a little overweight, so unless she actually said "fuck off fat boy" we will never know the truth about it... Just the assumptions. " Very true, the details are pretty sketchy, and the “going in for the kill” comment doesn’t paint the best of pictures of how the lads were behaving ... I am imagining 2 blokes in their mid-30’s doing a map of a nightclub full of much younger girls, and being seen a mile off by the girl in question. I did ask OP for a more detail but he seems to have gone quiet, moved to a different thread looking for assurance that he isn’t fat. | |||
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"The thing is after she did it she went back to her table had a bit of a laugh and a bit of a giggle it was like she was doing the hand movements... The point of the matter is it's understandable that no one is perfect and we are going to get rejected one day it's just the way it happened if the genders were turned and it was a guy that did this it would be the same feeling just wasn't a nice feeling" Good point, blokes are never rude. | |||
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"Simon is here, very rare me and my mate actually go out because a lot of time he's always with his daughter. We went to a bar and then we asked where are the nightclubs in Southport we went into two nightclubs and we was driving home for 1 in the morning.. We are not someone who scouts for the young girls I've always said that I prefer women to be older than me I wasn't the one chasing the women or wanting women I just wanted to have a few drinks before I was back in work tonight" All clear enough. But you are the one who described your mate as “going in for the kill” ... didn’t say “said hi to a girl” or “offered to buy a drink for a girl” or anything like that, but “went in for the kill”. Doesn’t really sound like a couple of mates out for a pint to catch up snd have a laugh. So quite likely that the girl saw your mate a mile off and gave an immediate red card to save time. Was she the first girl he had tried going in for the kill with? Or had he already tried his luck with other girls? | |||
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"When you realise that women are on high alert constantly, especially in those situations, you wouldn't take it so personally. She may have clocked you and him a while before and had already decided to stop any interaction before it began. You and your friend seem to use alcohol as a crutch. Lastly, women have stopped being nice in order not to be abused in some way, get used to it. I get all that, and she may have been bored, turning down the 20th bloke of the night who had “gone in for the kill”, as OP put it, but a smile and a clear “no thanks” does the trick. " No it doesn't, that just encourages more or ends in abuse for the woman. | |||
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"I think she was rude personally. She obviously knew she wasn't attracted to him and that's totally fine, but to point at his stomach like that is really unkind and clearly crushed his confidence. She could have just smiled but shaken her head if it was really loud. " Totally! There’s ways to say things and decline an advance from someone. Imagine if it was the other way round and a guy did the same to me. I’d be devastated x So rude | |||
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"Maybe stop approaching random women in nightclubs. If they wanted interaction with you they would ask or initiate. It would save her from having to make up a reason to not talk to you (or your friend), and save you from the embarrassment of rejection. A win-win. What so now men aren’t allowed to talk to anyone unless they’re prompted? Fuck off mate. Talk to who you want when you want and if they don’t want the attention then they’ll tell you albeit rudely seems to be acceptable these days. " Well, yes. That's exactly what happened. He talked to her, she didn't want the attention and now he's complaining about being rejected. Why is that her fault? | |||
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"Maybe stop approaching random women in nightclubs. If they wanted interaction with you they would ask or initiate. It would save her from having to make up a reason to not talk to you (or your friend), and save you from the embarrassment of rejection. A win-win. What so now men aren’t allowed to talk to anyone unless they’re prompted? Fuck off mate. Talk to who you want when you want and if they don’t want the attention then they’ll tell you albeit rudely seems to be acceptable these days. Well, yes. That's exactly what happened. He talked to her, she didn't want the attention and now he's complaining about being rejected. Why is that her fault? " Sounds like he was moaning about the rudeness of the rejection rather than the fact that he was rejected. Goes with the territory though, if you’re trying your luck in a nightclub you’re hardly going to get a polite letter breaking the news to you gently. | |||
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