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Are clubs the only way to meet for most single men?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just an open conversation for general feedback. I am one of those guys who doesn't like crowds, the scent of other sweaty people or swapping cum with other guys, the whole club thing doesn't do it for me. I have a different attitude towards sex and it is just more vanilla, I guess. Straight forward NSA or FWB type situation. I am no model but it still irks me when people reach out, we have amazing dialogue for a while and then they disappear. But saying that, there are very few single woman in ratio to single men. How many profiles are just spoofs or traps for the vulnerable? In a nutshell - what is it that the ladies seek or need?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not the only way but it is the easiest way

Lots off woman do socials and stuff but you got to go in to it not expecting anything

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I wouldn't say clubs are because are many who don't use the club's, are loads happy to meet for a social but remember their needs to be attraction, connection, chemistry.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well clubs are the best format considering the nature of this site. In my mind I figured coffee or a nice meal, a phone call, perhaps a few drinks. Something that people usually do to see if there is a spark. Something natural. Maybe it is just a very small percentage of the men on this site whom the ladies gravitate too. Like a top 20 or 30. They must be using Lynx deodorant lol

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I dont see that this site would be the right choice for you. There are more and more people on the more mainstream sites looking for nsa/fb/fwb without the huge disparity of men to women you see here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well clubs are the best format considering the nature of this site. In my mind I figured coffee or a nice meal, a phone call, perhaps a few drinks. Something that people usually do to see if there is a spark. Something natural. Maybe it is just a very small percentage of the men on this site whom the ladies gravitate too. Like a top 20 or 30. They must be using Lynx deodorant lol"

It's all about lynx Africa, when I smell it I open my legs. Don't know why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well clubs are the best format considering the nature of this site. In my mind I figured coffee or a nice meal, a phone call, perhaps a few drinks. Something that people usually do to see if there is a spark. Something natural. Maybe it is just a very small percentage of the men on this site whom the ladies gravitate too. Like a top 20 or 30. They must be using Lynx deodorant lol

It's all about lynx Africa, when I smell it I open my legs. Don't know why "

Even if it's held next to a cock to show how big/small a bloke is?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well clubs are the best format considering the nature of this site. In my mind I figured coffee or a nice meal, a phone call, perhaps a few drinks. Something that people usually do to see if there is a spark. Something natural. Maybe it is just a very small percentage of the men on this site whom the ladies gravitate too. Like a top 20 or 30. They must be using Lynx deodorant lol

It's all about lynx Africa, when I smell it I open my legs. Don't know why "

So that was the crutch of the situation all along eh? I heard somewhere a while back the chemicals can contribute to giving you cancer but that was the bastards hoarding it all for themselves. It is starting to make sense now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well clubs are the best format considering the nature of this site. In my mind I figured coffee or a nice meal, a phone call, perhaps a few drinks. Something that people usually do to see if there is a spark. Something natural. Maybe it is just a very small percentage of the men on this site whom the ladies gravitate too. Like a top 20 or 30. They must be using Lynx deodorant lol"

Not every person who visits a club, ends up having sex at the end of the night.

It's possible to meet one person who you find a connection with, whilst talking and what's stopping you leaving the club and going elsewhere to socialise - like a meal or something else.

It's your life your rules!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well clubs are the best format considering the nature of this site. In my mind I figured coffee or a nice meal, a phone call, perhaps a few drinks. Something that people usually do to see if there is a spark. Something natural. Maybe it is just a very small percentage of the men on this site whom the ladies gravitate too. Like a top 20 or 30. They must be using Lynx deodorant lol

It's all about lynx Africa, when I smell it I open my legs. Don't know why

Even if it's held next to a cock to show how big/small a bloke is? "

Lol! Yes, a standard unit of measurement for penis size. Half can, 3 quarts or 1 and a half cans etc.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

Tinder or POF is the answer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I dont see that this site would be the right choice for you. There are more and more people on the more mainstream sites looking for nsa/fb/fwb without the huge disparity of men to women you see here.

"

Apologies as I missed this comment earlier. I do appreciate the feedback though. Forgive me if I seem naive but what sites do you refer to? I would not have a clue.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well clubs are the best format considering the nature of this site. In my mind I figured coffee or a nice meal, a phone call, perhaps a few drinks. Something that people usually do to see if there is a spark. Something natural. Maybe it is just a very small percentage of the men on this site whom the ladies gravitate too. Like a top 20 or 30. They must be using Lynx deodorant lol

Not every person who visits a club, ends up having sex at the end of the night.

It's possible to meet one person who you find a connection with, whilst talking and what's stopping you leaving the club and going elsewhere to socialise - like a meal or something else.

It's your life your rules!"

I find the idea of a club overwhelming. It reminds me of Facebook friends. Anyone can have 1000 acquaintances however I much prefer fewer amazing people that I can count on 1 hand. The same for being in a venue teeming with people, I find the idea anxiety inducing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Find local town / city socials, these are the easiest way to get your foot in the door and good groups will then organise club events etc etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Find local town / city socials, these are the easiest way to get your foot in the door and good groups will then organise club events etc etc"

Seems like good advice. Did you follow this path to a successful meet? Would you briefly outline the steps leading up to said meet?

I think this would help other single guys too.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

It can be or an organised social,

My other half (we met here) did well as a single guy, because he put effort in his profile and took time getting to know people.

He still does OK if he wants to meet and has had a couple of socials recently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Local Socials I attend in East Sussex

The Brighton Social

Hastings Social

Worthing Social

Thankfully the organisers use those FAB names. Maybe others could list organisers for their local town / city socials.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Search on name search or events for local. DM the organiser asking can your attend and details.

Have no expectations for play as these are mainly just socials, hopefully meet someone (s) you connect and then the fun begins

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I've been much more successful at home than at a club. Presume there are men who are the same.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It can be or an organised social,

My other half (we met here) did well as a single guy, because he put effort in his profile and took time getting to know people.

He still does OK if he wants to meet and has had a couple of socials recently. "

That is amazing. You formed a relationship after finding eachother. The more I read it all seemingly leads to socials. Which in my interpretation, is a group of people who decide to meet at a chosen place or venue for a few drinks while getting to know eachother, usually someone as the organizer or host. Kinda feels like this is leading back to clubs.

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole


"Just an open conversation for general feedback. I am one of those guys who doesn't like crowds, the scent of other sweaty people or swapping cum with other guys, the whole club thing doesn't do it for me. I have a different attitude towards sex and it is just more vanilla, I guess. Straight forward NSA or FWB type situation. I am no model but it still irks me when people reach out, we have amazing dialogue for a while and then they disappear. But saying that, there are very few single woman in ratio to single men. How many profiles are just spoofs or traps for the vulnerable? In a nutshell - what is it that the ladies seek or need?"

We've been to one or three clubs. Never come across sweaty other people or cum swapping men. Most if not all clubs have showers, hot tubs and clean towels.

Sounds very much like your after an exclusive female. Single females on this site are far and few on here. Let alone and exclusive fb / fwb. Is this thr site for you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Search on name search or events for local. DM the organiser asking can your attend and details.

Have no expectations for play as these are mainly just socials, hopefully meet someone (s) you connect and then the fun begins"

Great shout! Most of them are really far away from me but this will help others because I for one had not thought of this. I will check back now and then.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"It can be or an organised social,

My other half (we met here) did well as a single guy, because he put effort in his profile and took time getting to know people.

He still does OK if he wants to meet and has had a couple of socials recently.

That is amazing. You formed a relationship after finding eachother. The more I read it all seemingly leads to socials. Which in my interpretation, is a group of people who decide to meet at a chosen place or venue for a few drinks while getting to know eachother, usually someone as the organizer or host. Kinda feels like this is leading back to clubs."

Yes we met through the forums almost 6 years ago, we weren't looking for more, but it just happened.

Socials are great if you enjoy meeting and getting to know people in the scene, we've been to a few local ones and a forum lounge social too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just an open conversation for general feedback. I am one of those guys who doesn't like crowds, the scent of other sweaty people or swapping cum with other guys, the whole club thing doesn't do it for me. I have a different attitude towards sex and it is just more vanilla, I guess. Straight forward NSA or FWB type situation. I am no model but it still irks me when people reach out, we have amazing dialogue for a while and then they disappear. But saying that, there are very few single woman in ratio to single men. How many profiles are just spoofs or traps for the vulnerable? In a nutshell - what is it that the ladies seek or need?

We've been to one or three clubs. Never come across sweaty other people or cum swapping men. Most if not all clubs have showers, hot tubs and clean towels.

Sounds very much like your after an exclusive female. Single females on this site are far and few on here. Let alone and exclusive fb / fwb. Is this thr site for you? "

Perhaps my wording was not the best for opening the thread. I did explain more that for me personally, it is too overwhelming being in a situation with lots of people. That is just not my cup if tea, perhaps build up to that but smaller scale would be where I need to start. I completely agree that single women are a needle in a haystack. I am certainly no model and I would never expect anything. FWB or FB for exclusive meets would just be the icing on the cake, the gold standard if you like. Is this site right for me? I honestly do not know for sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well clubs are the best format considering the nature of this site. In my mind I figured coffee or a nice meal, a phone call, perhaps a few drinks. Something that people usually do to see if there is a spark. Something natural. Maybe it is just a very small percentage of the men on this site whom the ladies gravitate too. Like a top 20 or 30. They must be using Lynx deodorant lol

Not every person who visits a club, ends up having sex at the end of the night.

It's possible to meet one person who you find a connection with, whilst talking and what's stopping you leaving the club and going elsewhere to socialise - like a meal or something else.

It's your life your rules!

I find the idea of a club overwhelming. It reminds me of Facebook friends. Anyone can have 1000 acquaintances however I much prefer fewer amazing people that I can count on 1 hand. The same for being in a venue teeming with people, I find the idea anxiety inducing."

AHH I see...

Well I agree with another post.

Maybe another app would be better for you.

I'm surprised you joined this one, when it's focused on a community rather than singly.

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

It's the easiest way I think but certainly not the only way. I was on this site several years before trying a club

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

No we don’t frequent clubs but meet single guys

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well clubs are the best format considering the nature of this site. In my mind I figured coffee or a nice meal, a phone call, perhaps a few drinks. Something that people usually do to see if there is a spark. Something natural. Maybe it is just a very small percentage of the men on this site whom the ladies gravitate too. Like a top 20 or 30. They must be using Lynx deodorant lol

Not every person who visits a club, ends up having sex at the end of the night.

It's possible to meet one person who you find a connection with, whilst talking and what's stopping you leaving the club and going elsewhere to socialise - like a meal or something else.

It's your life your rules!

I find the idea of a club overwhelming. It reminds me of Facebook friends. Anyone can have 1000 acquaintances however I much prefer fewer amazing people that I can count on 1 hand. The same for being in a venue teeming with people, I find the idea anxiety inducing.

AHH I see...

Well I agree with another post.

Maybe another app would be better for you.

I'm surprised you joined this one, when it's focused on a community rather than singly."

It made sense to me because I have sexual needs and they have long remained dormant. I desire the touch of a woman and was hoping for a naughty FB or FWB, maybe a hot wife home alone situation which didn't seem too unrealistic given the nature of this site. I had not joined to become part of a roaming community lol. Forgive me for being too vanilla.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Single man here, commenting solely on my own experience.

Online, I'm invisible. Disappointing, considering I'm way better in writing than I am in person. The site doesn't matter – Fab, Tinder, OkCupid... my experience of them has been pretty uniform.

In clubs, I do much better, because the simple act of going to one cuts out all the noise from the timewasters, fantasists and chancers who clog the internet, and the people there know I'm for real and worth interacting with.

Other people have had very different experiences. This is mine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No we don’t frequent clubs but meet single guys "

Perfect. This is what I thought and surely it isn't a bad thing, rather than almost as if going against some unwritten ethos regarding groups. For some this makes sense, at least initially and then see whether they would like the club experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well clubs are the best format considering the nature of this site. In my mind I figured coffee or a nice meal, a phone call, perhaps a few drinks. Something that people usually do to see if there is a spark. Something natural. Maybe it is just a very small percentage of the men on this site whom the ladies gravitate too. Like a top 20 or 30. They must be using Lynx deodorant lol

Not every person who visits a club, ends up having sex at the end of the night.

It's possible to meet one person who you find a connection with, whilst talking and what's stopping you leaving the club and going elsewhere to socialise - like a meal or something else.

It's your life your rules!

I find the idea of a club overwhelming. It reminds me of Facebook friends. Anyone can have 1000 acquaintances however I much prefer fewer amazing people that I can count on 1 hand. The same for being in a venue teeming with people, I find the idea anxiety inducing.

AHH I see...

Well I agree with another post.

Maybe another app would be better for you.

I'm surprised you joined this one, when it's focused on a community rather than singly.

It made sense to me because I have sexual needs and they have long remained dormant. I desire the touch of a woman and was hoping for a naughty FB or FWB, maybe a hot wife home alone situation which didn't seem too unrealistic given the nature of this site. I had not joined to become part of a roaming community lol. Forgive me for being too vanilla."

Ok!

Forgiven!

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"I've been much more successful at home than at a club. Presume there are men who are the same."

I’ve enjoyed far more success meeting solo females using Fab, than visiting clubs.

You’re more likely to meet couples in clubs, than single females (based on my experience)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well good luck on the FB FWB op.

It's certainly a mammoth task for women.

I wonder if it's the same task for men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've met single guys through here and never been to a club. I've had coffee socials or met for a drink etc. It does happen. Don't give up OP.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Single man here, commenting solely on my own experience.

Online, I'm invisible. Disappointing, considering I'm way better in writing than I am in person. The site doesn't matter – Fab, Tinder, OkCupid... my experience of them has been pretty uniform.

In clubs, I do much better, because the simple act of going to one cuts out all the noise from the timewasters, fantasists and chancers who clog the internet, and the people there know I'm for real and worth interacting with.

Other people have had very different experiences. This is mine. "

Solid feedback. I think most guys would be able to relate by feeling invisible with an online presence. Also, there are a lot of guys who just end up giving us a bad rep or at least somewhat harm the reputation or desirability of single men. Ultimately, there are too many of us. The screenshots of 2000 inbox messages that some women have uploaded attest to that.

People are more aligned with instant gratification as time goes on. It is a throwaway society. Sadly, I get the impression this will only get worse as time goes on.

I couldn't agree more with time wasters, idle talk, messers etc. Just the other day I was approached by a couples profile where the guy was using his ex partner's pictures to try and arrange fake meets to her place of work! What could the guy possibly hope to achieve by being soo venomous and resentful? Thanks for adding more stigma to our already difficult cause.

Face to face is obviously best. I just need something more low key than a club which I would think isn't too uncommon for single guys.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've been much more successful at home than at a club. Presume there are men who are the same.

I’ve enjoyed far more success meeting solo females using Fab, than visiting clubs.

You’re more likely to meet couples in clubs, than single females (based on my experience) "

Hmm interesting. Would you mind if I asked how some of your solo meets began? Did you simply get to know the person through messaging and ask to meet for a social? Was it straight to sex and you arranged a nice hotel?

Any pointers or tips for single guys? *pun intended*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well clubs are the best format considering the nature of this site. In my mind I figured coffee or a nice meal, a phone call, perhaps a few drinks. Something that people usually do to see if there is a spark. Something natural. Maybe it is just a very small percentage of the men on this site whom the ladies gravitate too. Like a top 20 or 30. They must be using Lynx deodorant lol

It's all about lynx Africa, when I smell it I open my legs. Don't know why "

NOTED!! *runs to the shops to buy lynx Africa……

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well good luck on the FB FWB op.

It's certainly a mammoth task for women.

I wonder if it's the same task for men.

"

Thank you - I would wager that it is between 100x and 1000x more difficult if the man does not look like Johnny Depp lol.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"I've been much more successful at home than at a club. Presume there are men who are the same.

I’ve enjoyed far more success meeting solo females using Fab, than visiting clubs.

You’re more likely to meet couples in clubs, than single females (based on my experience)

Hmm interesting. Would you mind if I asked how some of your solo meets began? Did you simply get to know the person through messaging and ask to meet for a social? Was it straight to sex and you arranged a nice hotel?

Any pointers or tips for single guys? *pun intended*"

I only message the profiles I’m genuinely interested in, and appear to match what they are looking for. If you build a rapport through messaging in here, I will offer a friendly chat on the ‘phone as an ‘ice breaker’ (you can tell a lot by hearing someone’s voice), and then move on to a social meet over a coffee. Some people are more shy and nervous than others, so I just go with their flow. The golden rule though is; don’t talk sex until she does

Being a site supporter means you can keep private notes against a profile, which is handy if the person you’re interested in isn’t a daily visitor to the site

Learn to block! Filter out the wheat from the chaff so your local searches are only filled with people you MAY have a potential match with. Pretty pictures of people you’re never going to meet are only going to frustrate you, and you’re here to meet, right?

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By *ischer400777Man
over a year ago

stanley county durham

I have never been to a club and I am doing well I have no problems attracting women

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By *ussieChrisMan
over a year ago

Walsall


"Tinder or POF is the answer."

Both are shit. I've never got anything but fakes.

Not much luck so far off here either, but at least no fakes as of yet.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

It’s never been easier to meet people in my experience. Tinder, POF and here are all superb resources to meet people. Then the other social networks are equally as good. I have even met someone off Reddit after a mutual geek out turned into something good.

Clubs are really worth giving a try though. The ones I have been to are not meat markets at all. Rather a chilled place where the features such as the bar or hot tub are great levellers to talk to people.

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

From my one club experience I would say it is quite daunting as a single man in a club. I went to remix just over a week ago. Maybe it's because I'm not the sort to be forward enough to go mixing and chatting and prefer to be approached or maybe most of the people there knew each other in groups. I will go to a club again but probably with a couple or a female friend if it can be arranged.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs and socials are a pretty good way for single guys to at least get noticed... Unfortunately if 100 men say they want to attend, if 30 turn up on the night, you're lucky... Then the no shows just continue to moan about not getting anywhere on here... Bite the bullet and get out there!

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Being single has nothing to do with it.

If you/they find attractive which leads to further communication finding chemistry so forth it's got nothing to do with the amount of guys to women, more like whether their is a connection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve talked to and met single men as a couple, it can be good fun, my lovely bbw wife loving all the attention- Griz

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Tinder/hinge are way better

I’ve had more meets that turned onto reliable FWB in 1 year of using those 2 apps than I have my entire time on here

And if you aren’t successful on those apps, you’ll do even worse on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Clubs and socials are a pretty good way for single guys to at least get noticed... Unfortunately if 100 men say they want to attend, if 30 turn up on the night, you're lucky... Then the no shows just continue to moan about not getting anywhere on here... Bite the bullet and get out there! "

100% agree, in my experience it's been less than 10, which suits me less competition

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

You may be on the wrong site lots of other sites for NSA but good look bro.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Tinder/hinge are way better

I’ve had more meets that turned onto reliable FWB in 1 year of using those 2 apps than I have my entire time on here

And if you aren’t successful on those apps, you’ll do even worse on here. "

I was on Tinder for six years and didn't get a single meet. Guess I'm doomed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t say so but I’d say they are the best thing for a newbie to the world of swinging. Meeting people, making friends and getting a feel if you’ve not been around multiple others sexually - a good experience if you’ve not done anything like it before.

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