FabSwingers.com forum: If you had to fend of a burglar with an item closest to you on your right

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

What would it be. For me it would be a coaster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My phone but you have to wrestle it out my hands ha ha x

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"My phone but you have to wrestle it out my hands ha ha x"
crack him over the head with it xx

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By *iBBWLondonWoman
over a year ago

London

"What would it be. For me it would be a coaster

The ceiling… (I’m lying on my side)

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By *andsome HandMan
over a year ago

roundabout

My dog and/or phone

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

My wand. Oops! Buzz him to death

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By *iltopbearMan
over a year ago

Norfolk

Well right this minute its a chainsaw, very noisy and messy end for anyone!

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

TV remote

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"My wand. Oops! Buzz him to death

"
ay ay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess I'm throwing the cat then. Let's hope she makes me proud

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

I’m in the garden, the rake

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"I guess I'm throwing the cat then. Let's hope she makes me proud

"
she will a pussy will never let you down

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

A pug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The wife lol, she's at the right hand side of me

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

A roll of sellotape with a card reader on top of it.

Not sure how well this will go.

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"A roll of sellotape with a card reader on top of it.

Not sure how well this will go."
bit of force behind it I would back you xx

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"The wife lol, she's at the right hand side of me "
good luck with that one

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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago

the Goldilocks Zone

Looks like I'll be beating him to death with a sack of teabags... a noble end!

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Hot mug of tea - might be quite effective

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Looks like I'll be beating him to death with a sack of teabags... a noble end!"
split the bags throw leaves in eyes should work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hah! A box of LFTs and hand sanitizer!

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By *hrobbermanMan
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

A plastic bottle of Aloe Vera After Sun Gel. With a pump dispenser.

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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

"A roll of sellotape with a card reader on top of it.

Not sure how well this will go."

Hopefully they're carrying a contactless card though... last laugh could be on you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My doggo x

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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

"A plastic bottle of Aloe Vera After Sun Gel. With a pump dispenser."

Could make for a slippery get away on their behalf

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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

"Hot mug of tea - might be quite effective

Feel the burn

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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

And next to me is my overnight bag... have I got time to get my cutthroat razor out

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

A pillow, have to suffocate him/her…

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

A small ginger dog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A naked cat

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By *ookinforfun6972Couple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

My G-string

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"A naked cat"
do you dress it in Sunday best

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Stack of hi-fi speakers I love the sound of music

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

"What would it be. For me it would be a coaster

bottle of wine

well half a bottle... remains of last nights tipple lol

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By *red and daphneCouple
over a year ago

in the middle

A cushion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The cat! He'll purrrrr them to death!

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By *ager4moreWoman
over a year ago

Warrington

My cat. She’s a vicious bitch. No burglar would stand a chance.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

Bedside cabinet

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By *alty surpriseMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Plastic coat hanger..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My cat. She’s a vicious bitch. No burglar would stand a chance."

i know a guy who had a neighbour dispute over parking and when he knocked the door threw the cat at the bloke.

cat landed on his face

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By *dward_TeagueMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

A Sky remote

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A glass of , that’s going to show him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rottweiler. I don't own one, but in this hypothetical situation I would.

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

A pile of clean laundry

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

A bottle of body oil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dumbbell

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Salt lamp

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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago

the Goldilocks Zone

"Looks like I'll be beating him to death with a sack of teabags... a noble end!split the bags throw leaves in eyes should work

Nice - thinking like a ninja!

It was the teabags or a box of cornflakes, but I'm not sure a plea of self defence would apply to a cereal killer...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A crunchie

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By *andsome HandMan
over a year ago

roundabout

"Bedside cabinet"

You've some arm on you in that case

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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

My teen kid lol if that don't work she would just talk em to death lmao x

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"My teen kid lol if that don't work she would just talk em to death lmao x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A child, he’d probably be pretty useful to be fair.

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

A can of Diet Coke

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By *harlotteBigBoobsWoman
over a year ago

Hull

Phone or make up bag, getting ready to out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Phone and a memory stick and hopefully the boxing training skills would stand me in good stead against would be burglars

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By *ea wangMan
over a year ago

scunthorpe

Settee cushion but as m a black belt that would be a distraction tool lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bedside table. I'd do a pretty good job I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bedside table. I'd do a pretty good job I think. "

You still in bed?

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By *igmaMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Either a Sky remote, a can of Lynx or a empty Pringles tub

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

A miniature dachshund. The level of injury to the burglar would be minimal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bedside table. I'd do a pretty good job I think.

You still in bed? "

I never leave my bed! Not even if I need the toilet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My 6 month old German shorthaired pointer “Gully”

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Either a Sky remote, a can of Lynx or a empty Pringles tub"
all 3 no brainer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bedside table. I'd do a pretty good job I think.

You still in bed?

I never leave my bed! Not even if I need the toilet."

Haha

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"My 6 month old German shorthaired pointer “Gully”"
Hi Tom is Gully trained to kill or lick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My 6 month old German shorthaired pointer “Gully”Hi Tom is Gully trained to kill or lick

Mostly fart

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

After actually being burgled while we were asleep at home, I keep a shortened sledge hammer shaft under the bed

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"After actually being burgled while we were asleep at home, I keep a shortened sledge hammer shaft under the bed

"
not coming to Penrith

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Jumping beans

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Jumping beans

"
would make him or her jump xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine would be a succulent...not even the prickly kind

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

A foot stool shaped like a llama

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames

"What would it be. For me it would be a coaster

A cat.

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By *horehouseprincessWoman
over a year ago

small town near Munich

Tv remote

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By *ammykingMan
over a year ago

Lisburn

Either a glass or a piece of kitchen towel

I am so screwed

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By *ucksguy2000Man
over a year ago

aylesbury

Glasses Case

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tea towel.

Actuly the right flick of that could be good. I'm fairly well practiced at it thankfully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A cat

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Can of deodorant and a big hairbrush

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By *mma29Couple
over a year ago

wirral

10 inch black dildo (with balls)

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

My large travel mug which is full of hot coffee

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Tea towel.

Actuly the right flick of that could be good. I'm fairly well practiced at it thankfully. "

I love sneaking up and doing the tea towel flick

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

A bra!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My 3 year old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bottle of Head and Shoulders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Himalayan salt lamp

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Beer bottle

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By *iss KissWoman
over a year ago

near Coventry

A big heavy glass weight.

Hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Headphones, i suppose the cord could be useful

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

A bouquet of flowers x

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By *liceinWonderland38Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

A small pillow, not the best, although I am good at pillow fights

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By *his_Kitty_ScratchesWoman
over a year ago

WSM

My half empty dinner plate…

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By *ipndineMan
over a year ago

torquey

The cat

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By *ussieChrisMan
over a year ago

Walsall

Airsoft pistol.. ??

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

A mug of tea. It's strong and hot and from Harrogate...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Terrier

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By *ineapple_PrincessWoman
over a year ago

in the waves

1L insulated waterbottle.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"After actually being burgled while we were asleep at home, I keep a shortened sledge hammer shaft under the bed

not coming to Penrith

Penrith is nice! Just don’t break in to my garage at 2.30 in the morning with 3 of your mates…..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it’s either a sofa cushion or my dog…

… either way I’m pretty screwed

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By *ateshugsMan
over a year ago

Isle of Man, (Crosby ish)

Toilet roll……

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By *pl83mfCouple
over a year ago

Montreal

An empty box of kleenex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say dog but he will lick them to death he’s such a coward lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pepsi. Not sure how that's gonna work out!

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By *est Mims LookingCouple
over a year ago

Crofton

"What would it be. For me it would be a coaster

14" bowie knife. Lol just got done cleaning it & haven't put it back in it's place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ceramic lamp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife's near me. I could always pull the cover down and show her tits? Aha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kitchen roll

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By *eardyBikerMan
over a year ago

nr stonehaven

Exercise ball

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A roll of kitchen towels and a squirty bottle of cillitbang?

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