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The be kind mantra

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Is the ‘be kind’ mantra now being used to try and control what others say, don’t like criticism, ‘be kind’, don’t like someone’s opinion then be kind. Kindness is done through actions, performative kindness is meaningless it’s more for the donors benefit to feel better about themselves than the recipient’s, does ‘be kind’ actually mean ‘be quiet’ to close down debate, cause I think ‘be fair’ is more valid ?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is the ‘be kind’ mantra now being used to try and control what others say, don’t like criticism, ‘be kind’, don’t like someone’s opinion then be kind. Kindness is done through actions, performative kindness is meaningless it’s more for the donors benefit to feel better about themselves than the recipient’s, does ‘be kind’ actually mean ‘be quiet’ to close down debate, cause I think ‘be fair’ is more valid ?!"

I agree, be kind is do as I say not as I do....bandied around without little meaning or thought into what they are actually saying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree, I think it's a way of saying be quiet.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I concur… I’m finding it’s more widely used as a weapon to suggest that a difference of opinion or a challenge to a point of view is in some way ‘unkind’. Those that preach of kindness are often simply not.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

I think the new generation has grown so soft that any words they don’t agree with is like being physically assaulted to them

I think they’ve grown a bunch of coping mechanisms for this.

Be kind is one of them. It’s basically “be quiet”

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Its a learned behaviour, how many times do parents tell siblings to be kind to each other to shut down any fighting, we would do better to empower people with the ability to use words in a positive way, as the ability to debate is not common unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there are many worse pieces of advice than 'be kind'. But it's true we increasingly live in a performative culture, underpinned by social media where it takes seconds to post something whereas a kind act in practice may be very time consuming and exhausting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dislike it intensely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting - I've never thought about this way. I genuinely mean it and try to be kind to others. My mantra is to be excellent to others though, rather than be kind.

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Sometimes it’s not kindness people need but the truth…

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I don't like it. At all.

It might be down to bias because those I've come across who use it aren't actually that kind, really, to others. Well, they are on a superficial level, the performative like Leo mentioned above but actually? No. It's virtue signalling, designed to stop conversation and debate because heaven forbid someone disagrees with another. There are far better things than "being" kind.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I don't like it. At all.

It might be down to bias because those I've come across who use it aren't actually that kind, really, to others. Well, they are on a superficial level, the performative like Leo mentioned above but actually? No. It's virtue signalling, designed to stop conversation and debate because heaven forbid someone disagrees with another. There are far better things than "being" kind."

Couldn’t have put it better Meli

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

It’s almost become a fab catch phrase ‘Be Kind’

I find it incredibly condescending….. it implies people aren’t or don’t know how to be, when in actual they do but occasionally, come across as not being kind by a simple post which differs from others.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"I don't like it. At all.

It might be down to bias because those I've come across who use it aren't actually that kind, really, to others. Well, they are on a superficial level, the performative like Leo mentioned above but actually? No. It's virtue signalling, designed to stop conversation and debate because heaven forbid someone disagrees with another. There are far better things than "being" kind."

I knew would find the right words Meli

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm more into the "don't be a dick" mantra.

Teach kids critical thinking not compliance.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It depends. I think you can spot when it is performative nonsense, usually because the person saying it has no actual track record of kindness.

I do remind people to be kind (a green arrow will probably find something where I say it) as I believe you can make a point honestly and without cruelty.

When I can't, because I am too angry or out of sorts, then I try very hard to practise kindness by not saying anything at all.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"I'm more into the "don't be a dick" mantra.

Teach kids critical thinking not compliance. "

Compliance …. Good way to define it or not as is the case

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I concur… I’m finding it’s more widely used as a weapon to suggest that a difference of opinion or a challenge to a point of view is in some way ‘unkind’. Those that preach of kindness are often simply not. "

A lot of people seem to want to live in an echo chamber.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

[Removed by poster at 26/08/21 21:56:14]

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I had been waiting in a queue to leave a car park for over half an hour, a girl gets in her car and tries to push in. I block her, only for her to cone out with, 'please be kind to me and let me in'.

She didn't like the response of I would of let you in, if you were kind to me by not being a cunt and trying force your way in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't like it. At all.

It might be down to bias because those I've come across who use it aren't actually that kind, really, to others. Well, they are on a superficial level, the performative like Leo mentioned above but actually? No. It's virtue signalling, designed to stop conversation and debate because heaven forbid someone disagrees with another. There are far better things than "being" kind."

This is very well put Meli.

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Spouting a fashionable catchphrase or displaying a "Be Kind" Facebook profile picture does not mean you a are kind person - it is often little more than a virtue signal shield to hide your bigotry and ignorance.

During the BLM protests, many of the "All Lives Matter" brigade also happened to have the "Be Kind" Facebook profile photos. Later the anti-maskers, Covid conspiracy theorists and now those declaring that we should "Help are own furst!" and not Afghan refugees, are frequently found in club "Be Kind"...who'da thought it?!

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Spouting a fashionable catchphrase or displaying a "Be Kind" Facebook profile picture does not mean you a are kind person - it is often little more than a virtue signal shield to hide your bigotry and ignorance.

During the BLM protests, many of the "All Lives Matter" brigade also happened to have the "Be Kind" Facebook profile photos. Later the anti-maskers, Covid conspiracy theorists and now those declaring that we should "Help are own furst!" and not Afghan refugees, are frequently found in club "Be Kind"...who'da thought it?! "

What MA said ^^^

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't like it. At all.

It might be down to bias because those I've come across who use it aren't actually that kind, really, to others. Well, they are on a superficial level, the performative like Leo mentioned above but actually? No. It's virtue signalling, designed to stop conversation and debate because heaven forbid someone disagrees with another. There are far better things than "being" kind."

Couldn’t agree more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Spouting a fashionable catchphrase or displaying a "Be Kind" Facebook profile picture does not mean you a are kind person - it is often little more than a virtue signal shield to hide your bigotry and ignorance.

During the BLM protests, many of the "All Lives Matter" brigade also happened to have the "Be Kind" Facebook profile photos. Later the anti-maskers, Covid conspiracy theorists and now those declaring that we should "Help are own furst!" and not Afghan refugees, are frequently found in club "Be Kind"...who'da thought it?! "

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"Is the ‘be kind’ mantra now being used to try and control what others say, don’t like criticism, ‘be kind’, don’t like someone’s opinion then be kind. Kindness is done through actions, performative kindness is meaningless it’s more for the donors benefit to feel better about themselves than the recipient’s, does ‘be kind’ actually mean ‘be quiet’ to close down debate, cause I think ‘be fair’ is more valid ?!"

I know what you mean. It’s like when people say “don’t judge”, when they are doing something that they know isn’t right, making “judging” the wrong thing rather than their own action. And if you criticise in any way whatsoever it is immediately twisted into “shaming” of some sort, again making the “shamer” the one who is in the wrong.

It’s manipulative, and a total cop-out, trying to sidestep why responsibility, ownership or scrutiny.

Now don’t judge me or “cranky old bastard” shame me.

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"I had been waiting in a queue to leave a car park for over half an hour, a girl gets in her car and tries to push in. I block her, only for her to cone out with, 'please be kind to me and let me in'.

She didn't like the response of I would of let you in, if you were kind to me by not being a cunt and trying force your way in."

Outstanding!

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Be kind is basically don't say anything to me unless you're going to blow smoke up my arse, regardless of how much of a twat I am.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

I dislike it immensely. In my experience it's usually preached by people that seem unable to accept that others have different opinions and beliefs, and resort to 'ist' name calling rather than having a discussion around the roots of said opinion. To me it just shows closed mindedness and a lack of ability to think critically and debate.

Nobody on this earth is nice to everybody all of the time...I've said it before, but in my mind a much better mantra is "don't purposefully be a dick"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think there is anything wrong with suggesting that people be kind to each other. There is a lot of nastyness and hate in the world - Im sure we can all think of times when we could have been nicer to someone else.

Im not against free speach, debate and people disagreeing - these are hard won freedoms and essential parts of life. However, Look at how divisive and frankly nasty the divide between people over brexit and politics in the USA became - surely we can disgree without being hateful to those with a different opinion.

So to me 'be kind' isnt about shutting down debate - its about being able to disagree and still treating others with respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being kind does not necessarily mean being nice but it does mean taking into account other people's feelings even if you disagree with them.

It's not about what you communicate but how you communicate, therefore I disagree with the concept of the youth of today being 'snowflakes' it's often just because they don't expect to be spoken to like a piece of shit. What's acceptable to you might not be to them and you have to accept that.

Am I always kind? No, but I'm trying to eliminate the lapses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont think there is anything wrong with suggesting that people be kind to each other. There is a lot of nastyness and hate in the world - Im sure we can all think of times when we could have been nicer to someone else.

Im not against free speach, debate and people disagreeing - these are hard won freedoms and essential parts of life. However, Look at how divisive and frankly nasty the divide between people over brexit and politics in the USA became - surely we can disgree without being hateful to those with a different opinion.

So to me 'be kind' isnt about shutting down debate - its about being able to disagree and still treating others with respect.

"

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

‘Be kind’ are just words, the actions that are the important part, rather like ‘I’m sorry’.

I do think they are used too much and in a questionable context at times, it’s a way of shutting down a discussion when there are differences of opinion.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I heard the launch of the Kindness Test this morning: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000z5hf

I've completed the survey gathering responses to see how kind we are in the UK. I may not have bothered but for this thread.

https://universityofsussex.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_1RYvaR5UA1czYvs

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

There's nothing wrong with using the words be kind.

Nothing that is up to a point.

That point is usually when you step back and look at the person saying it and put it in perspective in relation to how they normally conduct themselves.

All too often is is used by someone who has a habit of launching a grenade into a conversation to get a reaction and once battle commences they tell everyone to calm down and be kind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I heard the launch of the Kindness Test this morning: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000z5hf

I've completed the survey gathering responses to see how kind we are in the UK. I may not have bothered but for this thread.

https://universityofsussex.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_1RYvaR5UA1czYvs"

Looks interesting. I'll do it when I have more time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn’t it a shortening of “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”? Laid down by a woman who took her own life because she couldn’t stand the thought of taking the consequences of being a domestic abuser.If I’m wrong about this I’m sure the keyboard warriors will let me know, but if I’m right, it seems very hypocritical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Isn’t it a shortening of “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”? Laid down by a woman who took her own life because she couldn’t stand the thought of taking the consequences of being a domestic abuser.If I’m wrong about this I’m sure the keyboard warriors will let me know, but if I’m right, it seems very hypocritical "

Yeah, you're wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Isn’t it a shortening of “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”? Laid down by a woman who took her own life because she couldn’t stand the thought of taking the consequences of being a domestic abuser.If I’m wrong about this I’m sure the keyboard warriors will let me know, but if I’m right, it seems very hypocritical "

Its interesting that people see 'be kind' as a way of shutting down debate or differences of opinion but perhaps using the phrase 'keyboard warriors' for those who might disagree is even more more likely to do this?

Look at us all on this thread with our opiniins .... arnt we all keyboard warriors?

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"Isn’t it a shortening of “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”? Laid down by a woman who took her own life because she couldn’t stand the thought of taking the consequences of being a domestic abuser.If I’m wrong about this I’m sure the keyboard warriors will let me know, but if I’m right, it seems very hypocritical

Its interesting that people see 'be kind' as a way of shutting down debate or differences of opinion but perhaps using the phrase 'keyboard warriors' for those who might disagree is even more more likely to do this?

Look at us all on this thread with our opiniins .... arnt we all keyboard warriors?

"

We are all key off warriors are we?

Definition “a person who makes abusive or aggressive posts on the internet”.

No, I don’t think we are all keyboard warriors. Most posters here are pretty respectful:

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Isn’t it a shortening of “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”? Laid down by a woman who took her own life because she couldn’t stand the thought of taking the consequences of being a domestic abuser.If I’m wrong about this I’m sure the keyboard warriors will let me know, but if I’m right, it seems very hypocritical

Its interesting that people see 'be kind' as a way of shutting down debate or differences of opinion but perhaps using the phrase 'keyboard warriors' for those who might disagree is even more more likely to do this?

Look at us all on this thread with our opiniins .... arnt we all keyboard warriors?

We are all key off warriors are we?

Definition “a person who makes abusive or aggressive posts on the internet”.

No, I don’t think we are all keyboard warriors. Most posters here are pretty respectful: "

Key off or keyboard?

I wasnt accusing anyone of being aggressive etc - Just that that we all use our 'keyboards' to show our opinions.

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"Isn’t it a shortening of “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”? Laid down by a woman who took her own life because she couldn’t stand the thought of taking the consequences of being a domestic abuser.If I’m wrong about this I’m sure the keyboard warriors will let me know, but if I’m right, it seems very hypocritical "

So you know exactly why she killed herself do you? Look, it was a very sad case from start to finish, devastating for all involved. Not great having a cheap dog like that.

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"Isn’t it a shortening of “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”? Laid down by a woman who took her own life because she couldn’t stand the thought of taking the consequences of being a domestic abuser.If I’m wrong about this I’m sure the keyboard warriors will let me know, but if I’m right, it seems very hypocritical

Its interesting that people see 'be kind' as a way of shutting down debate or differences of opinion but perhaps using the phrase 'keyboard warriors' for those who might disagree is even more more likely to do this?

Look at us all on this thread with our opiniins .... arnt we all keyboard warriors?

We are all key off warriors are we?

Definition “a person who makes abusive or aggressive posts on the internet”.

No, I don’t think we are all keyboard warriors. Most posters here are pretty respectful:

Key off or keyboard?

I wasnt accusing anyone of being aggressive etc - Just that that we all use our 'keyboards' to show our opinions."

Sounds like you don’t really understand the term keyboard warrior and used it without fully appreciating what you were accusing us all of.

By using that term, yes, you are accusing us all of being abusive or aggressive. That is what the term means.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Isn’t it a shortening of “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”? Laid down by a woman who took her own life because she couldn’t stand the thought of taking the consequences of being a domestic abuser.If I’m wrong about this I’m sure the keyboard warriors will let me know, but if I’m right, it seems very hypocritical

Its interesting that people see 'be kind' as a way of shutting down debate or differences of opinion but perhaps using the phrase 'keyboard warriors' for those who might disagree is even more more likely to do this?

Look at us all on this thread with our opiniins .... arnt we all keyboard warriors?

We are all key off warriors are we?

Definition “a person who makes abusive or aggressive posts on the internet”.

No, I don’t think we are all keyboard warriors. Most posters here are pretty respectful:

Key off or keyboard?

I wasnt accusing anyone of being aggressive etc - Just that that we all use our 'keyboards' to show our opinions.

Sounds like you don’t really understand the term keyboard warrior and used it without fully appreciating what you were accusing us all of.

By using that term, yes, you are accusing us all of being abusive or aggressive. That is what the term means. "

Jimmy - Ive already said I wasnt accusing anyone of being aggressive so can I ask you nicely to stop accusing me of that

It was supposed to be a bit of irony....maybe even slightly dry humour. Im sorry if my intended irony or play on a phrase has upset you. You see...having a different view and still being nice isnt difficult

Xxx

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By *immyinreadingMan
over a year ago

henley on thames


"Isn’t it a shortening of “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”? Laid down by a woman who took her own life because she couldn’t stand the thought of taking the consequences of being a domestic abuser.If I’m wrong about this I’m sure the keyboard warriors will let me know, but if I’m right, it seems very hypocritical

Its interesting that people see 'be kind' as a way of shutting down debate or differences of opinion but perhaps using the phrase 'keyboard warriors' for those who might disagree is even more more likely to do this?

Look at us all on this thread with our opiniins .... arnt we all keyboard warriors?

We are all key off warriors are we?

Definition “a person who makes abusive or aggressive posts on the internet”.

No, I don’t think we are all keyboard warriors. Most posters here are pretty respectful:

Key off or keyboard?

I wasnt accusing anyone of being aggressive etc - Just that that we all use our 'keyboards' to show our opinions.

Sounds like you don’t really understand the term keyboard warrior and used it without fully appreciating what you were accusing us all of.

By using that term, yes, you are accusing us all of being abusive or aggressive. That is what the term means.

Jimmy - Ive already said I wasnt accusing anyone of being aggressive so can I ask you nicely to stop accusing me of that

It was supposed to be a bit of irony....maybe even slightly dry humour. Im sorry if my intended irony or play on a phrase has upset you. You see...having a different view and still being nice isnt difficult

Xxx"

It’s not a question of having a different view, it’s a question of misusing a term. Keyboard warrior is a well-understood term ... apart from one poster who labelled us all keyboard warriors but apparently didn’t understand the term.

No, I’m not upset. Never said I was. Just suggesting that people don’t use terms that they don’t understand, or don’t try to reinvent those terms to suit themselves.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

If you want power and control without being able to be in government , just make everyone a victim of something and redefine offence to mean perception not intent, infiltrate all the major public administrations, universities and bbc. This is the left intelligentsia taking control

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Still so many people who preach kindness when they are literally so vile

It’s unbelievable, also just because they might use it as a mantra, doesn’t make it true and eventually true colours show up. Always.

Gestures of kindness are discreet and aren’t forced. If they are forced, then I always wonder about ulterior motives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Still so many people who preach kindness when they are literally so vile

It’s unbelievable, also just because they might use it as a mantra, doesn’t make it true and eventually true colours show up. Always.

Gestures of kindness are discreet and aren’t forced. If they are forced, then I always wonder about ulterior motives "

good bump, and so true. Those who usually virtue signal about being kind are often those that are most vocally unkind. And as the OP says, it does tend to be a case of “unless you agree with me then I’ll publicly call you out as unkind / nasty”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Still so many people who preach kindness when they are literally so vile

It’s unbelievable, also just because they might use it as a mantra, doesn’t make it true and eventually true colours show up. Always.

Gestures of kindness are discreet and aren’t forced. If they are forced, then I always wonder about ulterior motives "

Always always Kylie x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the general idea of the be kind mantra is that humans are very selfish beings. We naturally go through life seeing things from our point of view, how things effect us and the stuff going on in our own lives. We might react a certain way to something, speak out in a way that's hurtful or generally not consider other's before ourselves without thinking about the consequences. Sometimes that consequence can be hurting other's whether you mean to or not.

It's not about cancelling people or shutting them down, if someone is genuinely affected by something you've done or said.. listen and apologise. Consider how other's feel and always go out your way to help other's. We are all fighting battles no one knows anything about, a little kindness can go a long way.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds


"I think the general idea of the be kind mantra is that humans are very selfish beings. We naturally go through life seeing things from our point of view, how things effect us and the stuff going on in our own lives. We might react a certain way to something, speak out in a way that's hurtful or generally not consider other's before ourselves without thinking about the consequences. Sometimes that consequence can be hurting other's whether you mean to or not.

It's not about cancelling people or shutting them down, if someone is genuinely affected by something you've done or said.. listen and apologise. Consider how other's feel and always go out your way to help other's. We are all fighting battles no one knows anything about, a little kindness can go a long way."

Be kind to people then and realise freedom is the kindest thing to give people.

C

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Often the people who shout the most about kindness aren't particularly kind. The kindest people I know just are and it isn't something they think much about.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest


"Often the people who shout the most about kindness aren't particularly kind. The kindest people I know just are and it isn't something they think much about. "

Very much this

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

On a few threads telling people to be kind/supportive/understanding I've asked if those commenting could truly say they practiced what they preached or if it was all lip service?

No-one has ever responded but funnily enough on the back of those questions I've had a number of messages from women I've never spoken to before telling me of the aggro they have received from the women starting those threads as well as some of the other contributors.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, I kinda know what you mean. I tried to sell something to a woman on Gumtree or Marketplace a wee while back. She let me down twice, without explanation. When she got in touch a third time, I gave her a piece of my mind.

Her reply? ‘You have no idea what’s going on in my life #bekind’

Well, she had no idea what was going on in my life, but it was apparently still ok to let me down!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Still so many people who preach kindness when they are literally so vile

It’s unbelievable, also just because they might use it as a mantra, doesn’t make it true and eventually true colours show up. Always.

Gestures of kindness are discreet and aren’t forced. If they are forced, then I always wonder about ulterior motives "

How true Kylie. In a discussion where this came up just two weeks ago. I know one or two people who always talk about their 'goodness' how they wouldn't do such and such to a person ever. How they would always do such and such and i'm listening like this and thinking ....... no matter how many times you say that.. iv'e seen otherwise and you are not 'kind' unless it suits you in any given moment. Twunts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Often the people who shout the most about kindness aren't particularly kind. The kindest people I know just are and it isn't something they think much about. "

Exactly Lacey!!! I 150% agree

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Yeah, I kinda know what you mean. I tried to sell something to a woman on Gumtree or Marketplace a wee while back. She let me down twice, without explanation. When she got in touch a third time, I gave her a piece of my mind.

Her reply? ‘You have no idea what’s going on in my life #bekind’

Well, she had no idea what was going on in my life, but it was apparently still ok to let me down!"

And NOR would I want to know. I want an impersonal transaction where we exchange goods for money and each treats the other with respect in a way where we can retain our personal integrity.......

I am not your sodding therapist, partner or employer..... This is fooking E Bay .......

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Still so many people who preach kindness when they are literally so vile

It’s unbelievable, also just because they might use it as a mantra, doesn’t make it true and eventually true colours show up. Always.

Gestures of kindness are discreet and aren’t forced. If they are forced, then I always wonder about ulterior motives

good bump, and so true. Those who usually virtue signal about being kind are often those that are most vocally unkind. And as the OP says, it does tend to be a case of “unless you agree with me then I’ll publicly call you out as unkind / nasty”"

I am seeing this more frequently

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Yeah, I kinda know what you mean. I tried to sell something to a woman on Gumtree or Marketplace a wee while back. She let me down twice, without explanation. When she got in touch a third time, I gave her a piece of my mind.

Her reply? ‘You have no idea what’s going on in my life #bekind’

Well, she had no idea what was going on in my life, but it was apparently still ok to let me down!"

I had someone use her personal life as an excuse for literally stealing from me. It was a latex dress so not exactly an essential and I gave her multiple chances to give it back to me without any further mention of it. Apparently a difficult break up made it okay .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had someone put in false timesheets over Xmas, they told me to be kind as stress of it made them feel low! How about not trying to con me out of thousands for work you didn't do!! Your facebook showed you out on the piss when claiming was working!!

Sorry rant over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Had someone put in false timesheets over Xmas, they told me to be kind as stress of it made them feel low! How about not trying to con me out of thousands for work you didn't do!! Your facebook showed you out on the piss when claiming was working!!

Sorry rant over."

Shiiit! Did you sack them?

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Had someone put in false timesheets over Xmas, they told me to be kind as stress of it made them feel low! How about not trying to con me out of thousands for work you didn't do!! Your facebook showed you out on the piss when claiming was working!!

Sorry rant over."

"Be kind, I was only committing fraud!" Most would be sacked for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it me or seems like some people use it as an excuse for having done something wrong so they are like… please don’t scold me…

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By *rTongueMan
over a year ago

...

I’ve always found the people who say ‘be kind’ or ‘live and let live’ then to mean ‘as long as it matches my beliefs’. I have a few friends and work mates that are constantly saying how we should all just get along, whilst at the same time being very opinionated.

Guess truth is we all have our opinions and biases, personally I tend to judge everyone, but internally, the. I’m not risking getting heckled.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There's nothing wrong with being kind in the right circumstances. Asking people to be kind to you when you've done something bad is just the equivalent of crying when you're stopped for speeding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Had someone put in false timesheets over Xmas, they told me to be kind as stress of it made them feel low! How about not trying to con me out of thousands for work you didn't do!! Your facebook showed you out on the piss when claiming was working!!

Sorry rant over.

"Be kind, I was only committing fraud!" Most would be sacked for that."

They are contractors so didn't pay them and they are now on a no hire list for us

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Had someone put in false timesheets over Xmas, they told me to be kind as stress of it made them feel low! How about not trying to con me out of thousands for work you didn't do!! Your facebook showed you out on the piss when claiming was working!!

Sorry rant over.

"Be kind, I was only committing fraud!" Most would be sacked for that.

They are contractors so didn't pay them and they are now on a no hire list for us"

Ahh I see.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think this is yet another issue where we all sit in our entrenched camps, unable to see another's perspective.

So often I can't be bothered, because it's like speaking another language to one of those stereotypical tourists who thinks that if you just shout then the locals will magically understand.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

How many times do people come on here and say I'm a dick or I'm a cunt but that's just who I am and people need to accept that?

To me that just reinforces the fact that they really are a dick but it's not a character flaw that should be excused.

Many of those are the same people instructing others to be kind or supportive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How many times do people come on here and say I'm a dick or I'm a cunt but that's just who I am and people need to accept that?

To me that just reinforces the fact that they really are a dick but it's not a character flaw that should be excused.

Many of those are the same people instructing others to be kind or supportive"

Yep, and others justify it by saying 'oh you know what he/she is like' yes, but they are also a fully grown adult who's behaviours should not need excusing

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