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"So a lot of profiles state grab my attention or no one liners… I think we all need to understand there has to be a connection first before we start a full blown conversation! How does it make sense if you want an attention grabbing first message when you don’t know each other!!! Also us men have it hard (most of us anyway) always sending the first message, it can’t be a genuine bespoke essay everything. I must admit, I’ve never sent a copy/paste message but can understand the guys thst do! Be realistic! Rant over. Happy Monday guys!!!!" If you haven't got a 10" cock or look like Chris Hemsworth or Jason Momoa etc etc on your profile pic the first message won't matter if it is 1 word or 1000 words - simples | |||
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"So a lot of profiles state grab my attention or no one liners… I think we all need to understand there has to be a connection first before we start a full blown conversation! How does it make sense if you want an attention grabbing first message when you don’t know each other!!! Also us men have it hard (most of us anyway) always sending the first message, it can’t be a genuine bespoke essay everything. I must admit, I’ve never sent a copy/paste message but can understand the guys thst do! Be realistic! Rant over. Happy Monday guys!!!! If you haven't got a 10" cock or look like Chris Hemsworth or Jason Momoa etc etc on your profile pic the first message won't matter if it is 1 word or 1000 words - simples " Hahah exactly. Unfortunately I forgot to go to the gym this morning, that’s 8 years in a row!!! | |||
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"Who has asked for an essay? People assume an attention grabbing message means a long one, it doesn’t. All so I genuinely thing a lot in of people make the mistake of messageing loads of people a first message rather than just picking out people they genuinely think they may have a connection with or somebody very are compatible with that way it would save a lot of effort and disappointment. " Point taken, I was exaggerating a little bit. | |||
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"So you expect us to have to deal with the 50+ messages that are of a type Hi, how are you? What you upto? How was your weekend? If you're messaging someone first, be they male or female, you are messaging for a reason, either something in their profile or pictures etc... The onus is on you to make that person want to have a conversation and get to know you, which in my mind can't be done with a one sentence email. " I’ve never ever written those few intro lines!!! Cringe! | |||
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"Basically this means make some effort on the first message. They want to know that you are worth replying too OP " True, point taken. I guess something a little more personal is what the ask is. I won’t write more than a few lines unless it’s feet/heels related!!! | |||
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"If a person messages me and i like their profile and pics then as long as the message is sensible and respectful etc, I'm not fussed if its a one liner or an essay. Lol. Good profile + good pics + sensible first message = a reply from me " That’s great summarisation! I need to sort my profile out. | |||
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"Once again, it is quality over quantity for me. No, I do not expect War & Peace. Neither do I feel turned on by "Hi" or "How's you" or "love your pics" or even a suggestion of what they will/ would like do to me if we meet. Total and utter turn-off for me. An enticing message can be a one liner but it needs to make at least a clever reference to my profile or an interesting question or something that will tell me they thought about it for 10 seconds, it is a deliberate message and it was design to attract MY attention. It really is not that difficult! - just discovered the emoji, bear with me while I experiment with it. " This is really helpful actually. Thanks | |||
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"I think I tend to lean towards more longer messages, that actually show you have taken the time to read their profile. What is a bit silly is sometimes you see profiles that complain about all the short and generic messages they get, but then have no information on their profile! Not much to work with there.. one to avoid in my book" Exactly this. I do wonder though whether the three word profiles are just throwing down the gauntlet | |||
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"In a mail box full of "Hi" messages, how are we supposed to tell the difference between people we are and aren't compatible with? "Hi" tells us nothing. We cannot tell if one "Hi" is from somebody more suitable than another. If you write something showing you take an interest in us and show that you've bothered to think about if we are compatible, do you not see the benefit of that? I have tried replying to people who write "Hi" and it has always been pointless. They have all turned out clearly not to be interested in what we want, only what they want, and they expect us to fit in. None of them showed any conversational skill, which is key for us. That’s why we delete all such messages. " Great perspective thanks guys. I kinda see how the mundane uncreative messages aren’t worth it too! | |||
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"Ten hi messages over the weekend, but no messages like below. " The just hi messages don't exactly scream making an effort... Hardly a good sign is it?! You clearly deserve more than the 2 secs that the spent sending those! | |||
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"Not only do I not want to write one, I don't want to read one either." My kind of girl. We all know why we’re on here, we’ll most of us! It’s not that deep bro (as my nephew would say!) | |||
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"So a lot of profiles state grab my attention or no one liners… I think we all need to understand there has to be a connection first before we start a full blown conversation! How does it make sense if you want an attention grabbing first message when you don’t know each other!!! Also us men have it hard (most of us anyway) always sending the first message, it can’t be a genuine bespoke essay everything. I must admit, I’ve never sent a copy/paste message but can understand the guys thst do! Be realistic! Rant over. Happy Monday guys!!!!" You've managed to write an essay for this post, so it's clearly not beyond you. If you're happy to blend in with the 100 guys per day who message saying "Hi how are you" then go right ahead. If you actually want a reply though, you'll need to make a bit of an effort. | |||
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"I think we all need to understand there has to be a connection first before we start a full blown conversation!" It’s impossible for me to feel a connection with someone before I’ve had some conversation with them. “Hi” does not make a connection. | |||
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"Ten hi messages over the weekend, but no messages like below. ‘Love your profile and hope mine interests you as well. I liked the bit … and would love to explore this with you. You’ll see on my profile we both share the same…. I would appreciate a reply but will understand if you choose not to.’ With a decent profile that indicates that we are share the same kinks or likes, then this will always elicit a response from me. " Hands up lads if you've copied this template to paste at a later date | |||
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"Ten hi messages over the weekend, but no messages like below. ‘Love your profile and hope mine interests you as well. I liked the bit … and would love to explore this with you. You’ll see on my profile we both share the same…. I would appreciate a reply but will understand if you choose not to.’ With a decent profile that indicates that we are share the same kinks or likes, then this will always elicit a response from me. Hands up lads if you've copied this template to paste at a later date " No, I'm a grammar nerd | |||
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"I'm sorry, that was too harsh. There have been some really good insights into what people want from a message in this thread, I hope guys find it helpful. " Not harsh at all. I’m really glad for all the responses. Clearly a lot to learn. | |||
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"Ten hi messages over the weekend, but no messages like below. ‘Love your profile and hope mine interests you as well. I liked the bit … and would love to explore this with you. You’ll see on my profile we both share the same…. I would appreciate a reply but will understand if you choose not to.’ With a decent profile that indicates that we are share the same kinks or likes, then this will always elicit a response from me. Hands up lads if you've copied this template to paste at a later date No, I'm a grammar nerd " Oh dear, I can see where my lack of a comma might have you concerned. Be assured I wasn't suggesting you fist a fella. | |||
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"Who has asked for an essay? People assume an attention grabbing message means a long one, it doesn’t. All so I genuinely thing a lot in of people make the mistake of messageing loads of people a first message rather than just picking out people they genuinely think they may have a connection with or somebody very are compatible with that way it would save a lot of effort and disappointment. " I think you are right… | |||
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"So a lot of profiles state grab my attention or no one liners… I think we all need to understand there has to be a connection first before we start a full blown conversation! How does it make sense if you want an attention grabbing first message when you don’t know each other!!! Also us men have it hard (most of us anyway) always sending the first message, it can’t be a genuine bespoke essay everything. I must admit, I’ve never sent a copy/paste message but can understand the guys thst do! Be realistic! Rant over. Happy Monday guys!!!! If you haven't got a 10" cock or look like Chris Hemsworth or Jason Momoa etc etc on your profile pic the first message won't matter if it is 1 word or 1000 words - simples " I think this can be true too… | |||
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"So a lot of profiles state grab my attention or no one liners… I think we all need to understand there has to be a connection first before we start a full blown conversation! How does it make sense if you want an attention grabbing first message when you don’t know each other!!! Also us men have it hard (most of us anyway) always sending the first message, it can’t be a genuine bespoke essay everything. I must admit, I’ve never sent a copy/paste message but can understand the guys thst do! Be realistic! Rant over. Happy Monday guys!!!!" Love your realism - but it is very clear, men don’t get to make the rules on here. We comply (often to no avail) or we are denied. The imbalance determines it. | |||
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"So you expect us to have to deal with the 50+ messages that are of a type Hi, how are you? What you upto? How was your weekend? If you're messaging someone first, be they male or female, you are messaging for a reason, either something in their profile or pictures etc... The onus is on you to make that person want to have a conversation and get to know you, which in my mind can't be done with a one sentence email. " Yep, the “how are you” is BS and as you say, what is the key thing in their profile that makes you think… yep we could have mutual fun. Hopefully there is enough there to also say, yep we can have a laugh and a glass of wine together too! | |||
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"Ten hi messages over the weekend, but no messages like below. ‘Love your profile and hope mine interests you as well. I liked the bit … and would love to explore this with you. You’ll see on my profile we both share the same…. I would appreciate a reply but will understand if you choose not to.’ With a decent profile that indicates that we are share the same kinks or likes, then this will always elicit a response from me. Hands up lads if you've copied this template to paste at a later date No, I'm a grammar nerd Oh dear, I can see where my lack of a comma might have you concerned. Be assured I wasn't suggesting you fist a fella. " Let's eat people. Let's eat, people. Punctuation saves lives! | |||
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"Ten hi messages over the weekend, but no messages like below. ‘Love your profile and hope mine interests you as well. I liked the bit … and would love to explore this with you. You’ll see on my profile we both share the same…. I would appreciate a reply but will understand if you choose not to.’ With a decent profile that indicates that we are share the same kinks or likes, then this will always elicit a response from me. Hands up lads if you've copied this template to paste at a later date No, I'm a grammar nerd Oh dear, I can see where my lack of a comma might have you concerned. Be assured I wasn't suggesting you fist a fella. Let's eat people. Let's eat, people. Punctuation saves lives! " Much like capitalisation is the difference between helping your uncle Jack off an elephant and helping your uncle jack off an elephant | |||
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"So a lot of profiles state grab my attention or no one liners… I think we all need to understand there has to be a connection first before we start a full blown conversation! How does it make sense if you want an attention grabbing first message when you don’t know each other!!! Also us men have it hard (most of us anyway) always sending the first message, it can’t be a genuine bespoke essay everything. I must admit, I’ve never sent a copy/paste message but can understand the guys thst do! Be realistic! Rant over. Happy Monday guys!!!!" It's about quality, not quantity. | |||
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"Pay me a compliment, refer to something in my profile, ask me how I am. Just a tiny little bit of effort can be greatly rewarded " You have a Gorgeous towel, what you doing tomorrow night? | |||
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"Love your realism - but it is very clear, men don’t get to make the rules on here. We comply (often to no avail) or we are denied. The imbalance determines it." Please forgive the tangent, but this really sums up what society in general has historically been like for women, so please excuse me if I don't dust off my violin for you. | |||
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"Love your realism - but it is very clear, men don’t get to make the rules on here. We comply (often to no avail) or we are denied. The imbalance determines it. Please forgive the tangent, but this really sums up what society in general has historically been like for women, so please excuse me if I don't dust off my violin for you." Absolutely. This is one of the few environments in which men don't hold most of the cards - hence many of them seemingly unable to grasp the concept of not being in charge. Women may well "set the rules" but quite frankly, so few men on here respect them. And the rules we do make are largely for our own safety and peace of mind - let's face it, women meeting men are statistically at far higher risk of harm than the reserve of that, so it makes sense that we are cautious and try to filter out the bad eggs. | |||
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" Absolutely. This is one of the few environments in which men don't hold most of the cards - hence many of them seemingly unable to grasp the concept of not being in charge. Women may well "set the rules" but quite frankly, so few men on here respect them. And the rules we do make are largely for our own safety and peace of mind - let's face it, women meeting men are statistically at far higher risk of harm than the reserve of that, so it makes sense that we are cautious and try to filter out the bad eggs." Well said. I suspect that most blokes have no concept of the fear aspect for a solo lady going to meet a man. I know it's not something that often crosses my mind. It probably doesn't help that the lifestyle is still "taboo" within the vanilla world, which makes it more difficult to let someone know where you are going and who you're meeting. Cal | |||
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"Love your realism - but it is very clear, men don’t get to make the rules on here. We comply (often to no avail) or we are denied. The imbalance determines it." I don't really think this is true. If I message a guy or couple it's surely their rules that will determine if I get a reply and not mine? | |||
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"Love your realism - but it is very clear, men don’t get to make the rules on here. We comply (often to no avail) or we are denied. The imbalance determines it. Please forgive the tangent, but this really sums up what society in general has historically been like for women, so please excuse me if I don't dust off my violin for you. Absolutely. This is one of the few environments in which men don't hold most of the cards - hence many of them seemingly unable to grasp the concept of not being in charge. Women may well "set the rules" but quite frankly, so few men on here respect them. And the rules we do make are largely for our own safety and peace of mind - let's face it, women meeting men are statistically at far higher risk of harm than the reserve of that, so it makes sense that we are cautious and try to filter out the bad eggs." *Round of applause* Poor men... | |||
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"The key is to send out generic messages in bulk, for example: Good morning/afternoon/evening How are you today non specific person(s), I have viewed your profile and I like your photo(s), if no photos then ignore, I have read your bio too, you are quite the wordsmith, unless of course you aren’t, I see I may or may not be what you’re looking for, if I am let me know and I will buy some condoms (unless you’re all about the bareback). Looking forward to hearing from you (both). P.S If you say ‘staycation’ or ‘holibobs’ ignore this message, I repeat ignore this message. Yours sincerely City Jeans. " Classic Copied and soon to be pasted to my profile. | |||
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"The key is to send out generic messages in bulk, for example: Good morning/afternoon/evening How are you today non specific person(s), I have viewed your profile and I like your photo(s), if no photos then ignore, I have read your bio too, you are quite the wordsmith, unless of course you aren’t, I see I may or may not be what you’re looking for, if I am let me know and I will buy some condoms (unless you’re all about the bareback). Looking forward to hearing from you (both). P.S If you say ‘staycation’ or ‘holibobs’ ignore this message, I repeat ignore this message. Yours sincerely City Jeans. " Are holication or Staybobs acceptable? | |||
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"The key is to send out generic messages in bulk, for example: Good morning/afternoon/evening How are you today non specific person(s), I have viewed your profile and I like your photo(s), if no photos then ignore, I have read your bio too, you are quite the wordsmith, unless of course you aren’t, I see I may or may not be what you’re looking for, if I am let me know and I will buy some condoms (unless you’re all about the bareback). Looking forward to hearing from you (both). P.S If you say ‘staycation’ or ‘holibobs’ ignore this message, I repeat ignore this message. Yours sincerely City Jeans. Are holication or Staybobs acceptable?" They’re borderline, if she sucks the balls and works the shaft, then I’m willing to overlook this, plus she will have her mouth full anyway, so won’t have time to say it. | |||
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"The key is to send out generic messages in bulk, for example: Good morning/afternoon/evening How are you today non specific person(s), I have viewed your profile and I like your photo(s), if no photos then ignore, I have read your bio too, you are quite the wordsmith, unless of course you aren’t, I see I may or may not be what you’re looking for, if I am let me know and I will buy some condoms (unless you’re all about the bareback). Looking forward to hearing from you (both). P.S If you say ‘staycation’ or ‘holibobs’ ignore this message, I repeat ignore this message. Yours sincerely City Jeans. Classic Copied and soon to be pasted to my profile. " And now you wait for the clunge to roll in. | |||
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"The key is to send out generic messages in bulk, for example: Good morning/afternoon/evening How are you today non specific person(s), I have viewed your profile and I like your photo(s), if no photos then ignore, I have read your bio too, you are quite the wordsmith, unless of course you aren’t, I see I may or may not be what you’re looking for, if I am let me know and I will buy some condoms (unless you’re all about the bareback). Looking forward to hearing from you (both). P.S If you say ‘staycation’ or ‘holibobs’ ignore this message, I repeat ignore this message. Yours sincerely City Jeans. Are holication or Staybobs acceptable? They’re borderline, if she sucks the balls and works the shaft, then I’m willing to overlook this, plus she will have her mouth full anyway, so won’t have time to say it. " That seems fair, at least you're giving her/them a fair crack of the whip | |||
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"The key is to send out generic messages in bulk, for example: Good morning/afternoon/evening How are you today non specific person(s), I have viewed your profile and I like your photo(s), if no photos then ignore, I have read your bio too, you are quite the wordsmith, unless of course you aren’t, I see I may or may not be what you’re looking for, if I am let me know and I will buy some condoms (unless you’re all about the bareback). Looking forward to hearing from you (both). P.S If you say ‘staycation’ or ‘holibobs’ ignore this message, I repeat ignore this message. Yours sincerely City Jeans. Classic Copied and soon to be pasted to my profile. " Even better if you don't even change then name !! | |||
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