FabSwingers.com forum: Who respects the “You have already sent” warning?

By *hat Bloke OP Man
over a year ago

Harrogate

I see a profile that attracts my attention and have a read through. Everything is looking nice and I appear to fit the bill or requirements for the persons needs/ wants. Okay let’s send them a quick message and see if we can start a ball rolling. Then it springs up. Warning you have already sent!! Now I have been on here a while and whilst I have a reasonable memory, if profile pics or names have changed… but that’s a side issue. My main question is, how many folk would ignore the warning message and continue to send. For the record I tend to respect it but I have sent a couple of messages once or twice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do respect it, but I also don't send a lot of messages.

If someone doesn't want to talk to me, then I don't really want to talk to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some men msg continuously... Like one after another...I don't understand how they don't get the hint. Persistence doesn't work...it actually speaks volumes of the type of person they are...they come across as needy & dramatic...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some men msg continuously... Like one after another...I don't understand how they don't get the hint. Persistence doesn't work...it actually speaks volumes of the type of person they are...they come across as needy & dramatic...

Exactly.

Never in my life have I thought, ya know what, fuckit, I give up, you have persuaded me to do this thing I had no intention of doing. Your constant asking has changed my mind

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By *hat Bloke OP Man
over a year ago

Harrogate

There is another side to the coin tho. Which is did the original message ever get read?

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By *luboyoMan
over a year ago

North West / Birmingham

I always respect it. If I sent a message and it was never read, then that's a lady who gets flooded with messages.

If the lady read the message but didn't respond, then she mustn't have been interested.

Both fine by me, so I just move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is a mixing pot of positive interactions, rejections and also being ignored/deleted. If someone deletes my message, ignores it or responds in either a positive or negative way I always try to be respectful.

We’re all here looking for our own things, sometimes they align with other and sometimes they don’t. It’s just the nature of fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is another side to the coin tho. Which is did the original message ever get read? "

^^^^^^^ This

Very true...chances are it was never seen & automatically deleted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t mind a second message as I may have missed the first…

But a 3rd, 4th, 5th etc is

judging by my inbox, lots don’t respect it.

My favourite line is “did I offend you” because I didn’t respond to their first message. I’m never sure if it’s genuine or if it’s to entice me to reply… either way it’s a huge turnoff and gets ignored.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t mind a second message as I may have missed the first…

But a 3rd, 4th, 5th etc is

judging by my inbox, lots don’t respect it.

Exactly this

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

If that pops up I block them because they obviously aren’t interested

My block list is ridiculous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally! Like take the hint man!!! After 599 messages sent and basically not one acknowledged… how do they even think it’s a good idea to send the 600th? X urgh

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"There is another side to the coin tho. Which is did the original message ever get read? "

If the original message was not read it is not unreasonable to resend after a while on the grounds it was ignored.

I always invite recipients to delete if they do not wish contact from me and then I make a private note not to contact them again, which I adhere to.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I send some messages that sometimes get read and deleted, sometimes get deleted unread.

If I look at a profile and can see I messaged them and they've not messaged me, I don't message them. If I go to send a message and that warning pops up I don't message them.

I figure if they were interested we'd still be chatting, so I don't want to hassle someone who isn't interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab is a mixing pot of positive interactions, rejections and also being ignored/deleted. If someone deletes my message, ignores it or responds in either a positive or negative way I always try to be respectful.

We’re all here looking for our own things, sometimes they align with other and sometimes they don’t. It’s just the nature of fab. "
I agree with this.

I don't message people anymore because I don't want rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I think it was maybe a mass delete after the 1st message, then I'll send a copy of the previous and that's that.

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

If I'm playing one of the forum games my message might not get read or a response sent. But sometimes that's the nature of the game, such as "Ask in private, public answer"

If I play a subsequent game and the message already sent warning pops up, I'm happy to send another message.

On the other hand, if I was sending a more personal message as a way of initiating more, then I'd heed the warning and not send another.

Gbat

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By *udeSpaLoverMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Not if I've seen in my sent mail that the last one hasn't been read, then I'll try again. I know some women get so many messages it's a lottery if yours even gets opened, so no harm trying again.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Many must just ignore it, like others have said when you keep getting the same message and deleting it.

I just block now if they resend the same message I already deleted.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I see a profile that attracts my attention and have a read through. Everything is looking nice and I appear to fit the bill or requirements for the persons needs/ wants. Okay let’s send them a quick message and see if we can start a ball rolling. Then it springs up. Warning you have already sent!! Now I have been on here a while and whilst I have a reasonable memory, if profile pics or names have changed… but that’s a side issue. My main question is, how many folk would ignore the warning message and continue to send. For the record I tend to respect it but I have sent a couple of messages once or twice."

Don’t you see the message indicator at the top of the profile telling you when you messaged them, when they messaged you, winks, etc? That’s what we see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me depends on what’s it’s regarding though

Ie if it’s a forum post that I wouldn’t want public I will just send but other then that I respect it if they don’t message back they don’t get a nother message

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I don't send faf messages, but occasionally I'll click on someone's profile and it says that we mailed each other 10 years ago.

I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday sometimes, let alone what I did 10 years ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's very rare we send a first message.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I always respect it because I don't send first contact messages.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I don't.

But I don't message continuously within a short space of time.

But if I've messaged a few months ago or something, I might send them another message. They might have missed the first one etc.

I've had many a good interaction with people I've messaged previously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t you see the message indicator at the top of the profile telling you when you messaged them, when they messaged you, winks, etc? That’s what we see."

Same! I see it. I dont message people again if ive contacted them and its gone nowhere. Whats the point?!

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Depends if last one got read, might have been a mass delete. If they read and then no reply I won't message them again but will only send a max of 2 spread very far apart if no reply

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By *urplechesterCouple
over a year ago

chester

We always make notes on a profile, so we know if they pop up again a year later what went on before, eg did they read it, read and ignore etc! It works well for us! We don’t tend to message again if we already have, but have on occasions! Miss pc

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By *iceButtSlimMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Don’t you see the message indicator at the top of the profile telling you when you messaged them, when they messaged you, winks, etc? That’s what we see."

You only get that with site supporter access, so if you've let it lapse or never bothered then you don't get that extra bit of useful information.

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By *aturewomanloverMan
over a year ago

staffs/cheshire

I've said before there needs to be a time limit after one message, say 24hrs before can send again unless there's a reply. Stops the repeat sender's sending 10 messages in half an hour and clogging up your inbox from us who just send the one

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By *aturewomanloverMan
over a year ago

staffs/cheshire

I admit though I ignore the warning, especially if I believe that my first message just never got read due to the amount of messages in the person's inbox. There's been more than enough occasions that a lady has replied and when talking says that she never saw my previous 'first' messages

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By *hat Bloke OP Man
over a year ago

Harrogate

I was thinking that a reset after 6 months or so on an unread message would be good. If it’s been read and not replied to, that could remain on the system.

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