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"Jeez Meli my head hurts " Apologies Pink, I was trying to condense it down but thought screw it. Maybe I should have asked "Do you like people like you?". | |||
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"Do you find that there are certain attributes/personality traits you're drawn to in terms of relationships (whether that's friendship, sexual, work based)? Are they a reflection of how you think you are or would like to be? Are the people who you initially are but soon discover you're not compatible with? Do you think that your confirmation bias can result in you not engaging with some because you don't perceive them to have those traits? I'm not particularly interested in those you're not drawn to, I'd rather focus on the positives as I'm curious about self perception, projection and I got drenched waddling so need some good old fashioned navel gazing. " Wow think I need to lie down again lol | |||
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"Jeez Meli my head hurts Apologies Pink, I was trying to condense it down but thought screw it. Maybe I should have asked "Do you like people like you?". " Short answer YES | |||
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"My human satellites are calm, peaceful, non-confrontational, cheerful and easy-going. There's one exception to this; my sister. She can be a little worrisome at times as she makes a mountain out of a molehill. I don't mind that from her though." I'm drawn to people like me. | |||
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"Most of my friends I've made since school. Have certain attributes in common, they're generally thinkers and debaters. I enjoy getting my brains cogs whirring. I'm also drawn to those who don't conform to the social norms and are more free spirited. And this is more because it's something I wish I was more confident to be myself. " Thanks Frida for replying, I was curious if others have friends who possess certain traits and wish they were more confident in it. You should start being more confident to not conform, it's not as simple as that (obviously) but you have a lot to be confident about. Some of my friends are very concise and blunt and I admire that because I'm prone to waffling oft. | |||
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"Good god… I think I need more coffee!!! I have a wide variety of people in my wider circle, humans fascinate me from a distance, and I enjoy small doses of variety.. however… the ones I’m totally drawn to are the dry, dark and blunt folk. These people will usually get closer to me because I’m more comfortable with straight talkers, even if it is sometimes uncomfortable to hear. They’re also usually low maintenance on keeping in touch as I’m crap at constant talking. I like people who are what they say on the tin. No frills required. " Ha! Cheeky mare, your response was almost as long as my post. Ronseal friends are a lot less head fucky and confusing aren't they? | |||
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"Good god… I think I need more coffee!!! I have a wide variety of people in my wider circle, humans fascinate me from a distance, and I enjoy small doses of variety.. however… the ones I’m totally drawn to are the dry, dark and blunt folk. These people will usually get closer to me because I’m more comfortable with straight talkers, even if it is sometimes uncomfortable to hear. They’re also usually low maintenance on keeping in touch as I’m crap at constant talking. I like people who are what they say on the tin. No frills required. Ha! Cheeky mare, your response was almost as long as my post. Ronseal friends are a lot less head fucky and confusing aren't they? " Literally type as I think so sometimes it just doesn’t stop.. or make sense… I’m a simple creature with a quiet life. I want folk around me who won’t change that. It works | |||
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"Most of my friends I've made since school. Have certain attributes in common, they're generally thinkers and debaters. I enjoy getting my brains cogs whirring. I'm also drawn to those who don't conform to the social norms and are more free spirited. And this is more because it's something I wish I was more confident to be myself. Thanks Frida for replying, I was curious if others have friends who possess certain traits and wish they were more confident in it. You should start being more confident to not conform, it's not as simple as that (obviously) but you have a lot to be confident about. Some of my friends are very concise and blunt and I admire that because I'm prone to waffling oft. " Haha I'm too much of a control freak to be so free spirited. But it's good to have friends who balance out some of your personality | |||
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"I found 'the one' by opening up my own preconceptions of what both a partner and a relationship should look like Convention tells us... opposite sex, similar age group, similar outlook, shared values, shared interests, monogamy I tried all that and none of it worked My life turned around because I said 'fuck convention, this one makes me happy' and jumped in the puddle with both feet without wellies" and I feel that the lyrics in this songs are pretty much perfectly written to describe the situation I (and others like me) put myself in and the almost sense of relief when you realise something is working out https://youtu.be/0m2BT-aDBxU | |||
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"That’s a brilliant question Meli. I’ve always gone for the same types as in traits. I find intelligent men a who turn on but they have to have a humour too them. Sadly the idiots are the ones I usually fall for With a touch of arrogance to them. It’s something that I’ve always said I won’t go for the next time but I seem to always fall back into the same cycle. Not sure how to even get myself out of it. I’ve found a lot of men on here quite flakey " Thank you Gobby! It's a difficult cycle to get out of isn't it? You know deep down it's not healthy for you but you still go back. Start loving yourself more and not allowing things/people in to your life that won't enrich it. Even if your quim is saying they would be good for you, you know they aren't. Intelligent men with a modicum of arrogance are my catnip so I know this well. | |||
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"Do you find that there are certain attributes/personality traits you're drawn to in terms of relationships (whether that's friendship, sexual, work based)? Are they a reflection of how you think you are or would like to be? Are the people who you initially are but soon discover you're not compatible with? Do you think that your confirmation bias can result in you not engaging with some because you don't perceive them to have those traits? I'm not particularly interested in those you're not drawn to, I'd rather focus on the positives as I'm curious about self perception, projection and I got drenched waddling so need some good old fashioned navel gazing. " Very much so. I have spent quite a considerable amount of time working on myself, self-worth, value, validation and as a result I have oodles of confidence in myself. And no that’s not the same as arrogance. This has resulted in being attractive to profile who also have the same confidence in themselves in being who they are regardless of what other people think. | |||
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"I'm drawn mainly to folks who have something to say, confidence but not all about them. Folks who have an awareness of other people of around them and are bias to inclusion rather than exclusion Physical, generally women who I consider to have attractive facial features. Eyes , smile lips - bit goes beyond that - their expressions etc. Not sure if any of that made sense " It made perfect sense - I particularly loved bias to inclusion. We all have times where we're exclusive but those who are bias to inclusion for the most part are good eggs. | |||
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"My human satellites are calm, peaceful, non-confrontational, cheerful and easy-going. There's one exception to this; my sister. She can be a little worrisome at times as she makes a mountain out of a molehill. I don't mind that from her though." Human satellites I'm definitely borrowing that, I hope that's okay! Being your sister it's a bit easier to accept that sort of thing from? | |||
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"I like to be seen as having a good sense of humour, and I'm drawn to people that have what I think is a good sense of humour. Does that answer your question Meli? Gbat " It does Gbat, thank you! I got distracted by talking to a friend for some time and sort of left the thread. Not that it needs to be attended. Anyway, it is about what we see as being good humour/kind/nice whatever isn't it? Someone else might not agree with it but as long as it matches our view, that's all that is needed. | |||
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"I found 'the one' by opening up my own preconceptions of what both a partner and a relationship should look like Convention tells us... opposite sex, similar age group, similar outlook, shared values, shared interests, monogamy I tried all that and none of it worked My life turned around because I said 'fuck convention, this one makes me happy' and jumped in the puddle with both feet without wellies and I feel that the lyrics in this songs are pretty much perfectly written to describe the situation I (and others like me) put myself in and the almost sense of relief when you realise something is working out https://youtu.be/0m2BT-aDBxU" This song always makes me a bit teary eyed. Thank you Bussy for such a lovely post; you're right, sometimes you just need to go for it and enjoy that puddle without worrying what others think. I genuinely hope your relationship continues to bring you the love you have. | |||
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"Another really great thread, OP! I think we are drawn to both, "same as well as "opposite" for different reasons. The reasons are another story for a different thread maybe. Personally, I seek "opposite" in terms of somebody calmer, more patient than myself. Re the "same": I am drawn to positive and genuinely warm people who overcome obstacles, are able to bootstrap, find a funny side in most situations, are kind, grateful and appreciate humanity. " I find the reasons fascinating - how we perceive others, why we do and what draws us? I like the idea of both - I can identify, as others have in the thread, certain characteristics that I like to think I possess or know I do. I also know that some opposites draw me in, it helps balance me. | |||
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"About time you stared a thread Meli Im Strangely drawn to humour xx" Aww thanks Yasmeen! I've done a few in my time but after my fail of a time for parkrun I thought I'd seek solace in the thoughts of others. It's better than macaroni cheese! It also reminded me how valuable my relationships are, I was able to tell some one earlier that I missed them because I realised how much I value our similarities and differences. | |||
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"Good question Melster I think I am drawn to certain traits in general. Thinking about my close friends, most of them are as laid back as me...I can't be doing with drama llamas or people prone to histrionics, I get annoyed at them and then they sulk I also like intelligent people...I'm not talking Einstein levels of brain power, but I like people that can have conversations about many different things, and if they will partake in debates just for the fun of debating then I know we'll be friends. And humour...if they can follow the dark, twisted routes that my mind often takes then they're my kind of person, but I also like people that can just be silly, and understand why I'm snort-laughing at song lyrics. And I adore positive people...people like me that can find something to smile about every single day, and get pure joy from something as simple as kicking autumn leaves when out for a walk. And all of the above probably explains why I generally like dogs more than humans " Melster is glorious, keeping that for a long time! Dogs are generally better than humans aren't they? I'm seriously considering one at the moment! You're definitely not one for drama llamas and as much as that attracts you to others, you being that way attracts others to you. Likeminded souls. | |||
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"I’m drawn to people who genuinely care, putting themselves on the line for others, and are infinitely fascinated and curious about people and see a sparkle in others they don’t always see in themselves. Is that how I am too? I don’t know, I don’t have the insight to really judge. I hope so though." I think you are extremely insightful Stelly What was it you were saying about seeing a sparkle in others that they don't see in themselves? | |||
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"I'm not particularly interested in those you're not drawn to, " Tough, that's what everyone is telling you | |||
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"Do you find that there are certain attributes/personality traits you're drawn to in terms of relationships (whether that's friendship, sexual, work based)? Are they a reflection of how you think you are or would like to be? Are the people who you initially are but soon discover you're not compatible with? Do you think that your confirmation bias can result in you not engaging with some because you don't perceive them to have those traits? " I can be drawn to certain things yes, though I do not believe it is a reflection of how I think about myself, or how I might want to be. Some people do turn out to be not what they seemed initially. No definitely not. because one thing that can draw me to a person is there total difference to everyone/everything I know | |||
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"About time you stared a thread Meli Im Strangely drawn to humour xx Aww thanks Yasmeen! I've done a few in my time but after my fail of a time for parkrun I thought I'd seek solace in the thoughts of others. It's better than macaroni cheese! It also reminded me how valuable my relationships are, I was able to tell some one earlier that I missed them because I realised how much I value our similarities and differences." Xxx | |||
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"I’m drawn to people who genuinely care, putting themselves on the line for others, and are infinitely fascinated and curious about people and see a sparkle in others they don’t always see in themselves. Is that how I am too? I don’t know, I don’t have the insight to really judge. I hope so though. I think you are extremely insightful Stelly What was it you were saying about seeing a sparkle in others that they don't see in themselves? " Thanks Bussy x | |||
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"Do you find that there are certain attributes/personality traits you're drawn to in terms of relationships (whether that's friendship, sexual, work based)? Are they a reflection of how you think you are or would like to be? Are the people who you initially are but soon discover you're not compatible with? Do you think that your confirmation bias can result in you not engaging with some because you don't perceive them to have those traits? I'm not particularly interested in those you're not drawn to, I'd rather focus on the positives as I'm curious about self perception, projection and I got drenched waddling so need some good old fashioned navel gazing. " Hello frizz. Good question. In many ways there are certain traits I’m drawn to but it can almost always be overridden if on getting to know them they display any one of the traits I can’t overlook. Self awareness, a general considerate nature and positivity are all very important qualities to me. | |||
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" Hello frizz. Good question. In many ways there are certain traits I’m drawn to but it can almost always be overridden if on getting to know them they display any one of the traits I can’t overlook. Self awareness, a general considerate nature and positivity are all very important qualities to me." Thank you associate. I appreciate the time taken to read the waffling. Do you think that you have a considerate nature and are quite self aware or are they things you strive to be? | |||
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" Thank you associate. I appreciate the time taken to read the waffling. Do you think that you have a considerate nature and are quite self aware or are they things you strive to be? " I do try my best to be considerate and I’d be surprised if anyone that knows me well thought differently but I can appreciate there could be a chance they might. I’m very self aware. | |||
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