FabSwingers.com forum: CHAT UP LINES OF THE SEXPERTS!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Specially conceived and tailored for every occupation/profession out there.

WARNING!

NOT TO BE USED DURING OCCASIONS WITHOUT THAT ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN VIBE!

This one is ONLY for those who work in a particular area of the medical profession!

We don't want to make mistakes and be offering things to the wrong people!

" I'll make you wetter than the day that you were born!"

Let's also move on very quickly from that before somebody gets a slap around here!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Specially conceived and tailored for every occupation/profession out there.

WARNING!

NOT TO BE USED DURING OCCASIONS WITHOUT THAT ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN VIBE!

This one is ONLY for those who work in a particular area of the medical profession!

We don't want to make mistakes and be offering things to the wrong people!

" I'll make you wetter than the day that you were born!"

Let's also move on very quickly from that before somebody gets a slap around here!

"
These lines ARE NOT to be delivered at the places of work!!!!!!

Thank You.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a High Court Judge?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Road Sweeper?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up an Architect?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up the Co-Pilot of an airline?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a leafleater?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up the Co-Pilot of an airline?"

No need. If it is a guy, his ego would do the work. If it a lady, guarantee she is already taken.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

For any profession... or is that cheating!

I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Hairdresser?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Hello

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"How would you chat up a High Court Judge?"
hello m'lud

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For any profession... or is that cheating!

I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment

"
An Estate Agent? Taxi Driver?

Choose ANY profession.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"How would you chat up a Road Sweeper?"

Hello you missed a bit

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"How would you chat up an Architect?"

Hi lo

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a High Court Judge? hello m'lud

A start! But hardly sexpert level!!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"How would you chat up the Co-Pilot of an airline?"
hi?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Road Sweeper?

Hello you missed a bit

Could work.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"How would you chat up a Hairdresser?"
hairlo?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To a sales girl

" you must be selling buzz lightyears too, cause you've definitely sold me a woody "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mostly basic intros so far...things need to get a little steamier...there are MANY more occupations/professions out there.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

"How would you chat up a High Court Judge?"

All rise!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To a sales girl

" you must be selling buzz lightyears too, cause you've definitely sold me a woody "

That's what I'm talking 'bout!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a High Court Judge?

All rise! "
"I'll rise and you can be seated"

for a female High Court Judge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slight variation on Ur 1st post but for a vet/RSPCA etc "ul be wetter than an otters pocket"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Slight variation on Ur 1st post but for a vet/RSPCA etc "ul be wetter than an otters pocket""

A fine variation!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Hairdresser?"

Where are you going on your holidays?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a leafleater?"

I don't want that, but I'd give you one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an Architect?"

I’ve got some plans for a large erection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/08/21 07:47:43]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"How would you chat up a Hairdresser?hairlo?

You are WASTED here O .....

How could anyone miss hi for high ( airline ) or hairlo ( for hairdresser )

You are this mornings genius O ....

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"How would you chat up a leafleater?"

Shall I open my flap so you can push it in my box ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Road Sweeper?"

Did you just wink at me or was it dirt in your eye ?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"How would you chat up the Co-Pilot of an airline?"

What a big joy-stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Hairdresser?"

I'll have a zero at the back and sides a 7 on top and the rest of your number in there (my phone)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Hairdresser?

Where are you going on your holidays?

A good starting point...ramp it up a little soon!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a leafleater?

I don't want that, but I'd give you one

Perfect...NOT to be used unless....

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

I'm on top of things ... do you want to be one of them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Hairdresser?

Where are you going on your holidays?

A good starting point...ramp it up a little soon!

Would you like some highlights? Sit on this then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an Architect?

I’ve got some plans for a large erection. "

Too wicked by half!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a leafleater?

Shall I open my flap so you can push it in my box ? "

Guaranteed a fair posting!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Hairdresser?

I'll have a zero at the back and sides a 7 on top and the rest of your number in there (my phone)"

A classic of classics!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up the Co-Pilot of an airline?

What a big joy-stick"

Like I wrote! Not for on the job as ALL planes must be landed!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Hairdresser?

Where are you going on your holidays?

A good starting point...ramp it up a little soon!

Would you like some highlights? Sit on this then

Smooth!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"How would you chat up a Road Sweeper?"

Hey! follow me - we'll suck more than dust!

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"How would you chat up a Road Sweeper?"

You seem to have missed the huge patch of filth standing right in front of you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Road Sweeper?

Did you just wink at me or was it dirt in your eye ?

A cheeky sexpert!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Road Sweeper?

You seem to have missed the huge patch of filth standing right in front of you

Sure to get you picked up!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Road Sweeper?

Hey! follow me - we'll suck more than dust!"

Goddamn naughty!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chatting up a hooker is the easiest

How much love?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a pretend non moving and mute street-artist?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Chatting up a hooker is the easiest

How much love?"

No comment!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Stock Market trader?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up an Olympic Gold Medal winning Swimmer?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a supermarket checkout assistant?

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"How would you chat up a Stock Market trader?"

If it's a lady, "I've got a large deposit for you"?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up an electrician?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"How would you chat up a pretend non moving and mute street-artist?"

I go weak at the knees for the strong, silent type

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Stock Market trader?

If it's a lady, "I've got a large deposit for you"?"
She may ask if you want it invested in stocks!?

A tight fit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a supermarket checkout assistant?"

I usually do self service

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"How would you chat up an Olympic Gold Medal winning Swimmer?"

Are you up for some breast stroke ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a pretend non moving and mute street-artist?

I go weak at the knees for the strong, silent type"

A classic of classics!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an electrician?"

Are you an electrician? There seems to be sparks flying between us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an Olympic Gold Medal winning Swimmer?"

How would you like to come first every night, not just every four years ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a supermarket checkout assistant?"

Would you like to put an unexpected item in my bagging area?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an Olympic Gold Medal winning Swimmer?

Are you up for some breast stroke ?"

Sure to win! Hands down!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an electrician?"

Plug me in and I'll light you up

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By *drian HardthrobMan
over a year ago

Worcester

"How would you chat up an Olympic Gold Medal winning Swimmer?

How would you like to come first every night, not just every four years ?

Lol, that one's pretty smooth

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a supermarket checkout assistant?

Would you like to put an unexpected item in my bagging area?"

Far too naughty for THIS thread!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an electrician?"

I've been sent to lay a little cable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a supermarket checkout assistant?

Would you like to put an unexpected item in my bagging area?"

So rude

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an Olympic Gold Medal winning Swimmer?

How would you like to come first every night, not just every four years ?

Lol, that one's pretty smooth

That'll leave someone speechless and led to the 'slaughter'!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mostly basic intros so far...things need to get a little steamier...there are MANY more occupations/professions out there."

Fk me you're on it this morning....

I need a couple more hours to warm up....

(not chatting you up)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an electrician?

I've been sent to lay a little cable "
...in THAT hole...pointing DIRECTLY to required hole!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mostly basic intros so far...things need to get a little steamier...there are MANY more occupations/professions out there.

Fk me you're on it this morning....

I need a couple more hours to warm up....

(not chatting you up)"
Artic explorer?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up an Estate Agent?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Taxi Driver?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a TV producer?

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"How would you chat up an Estate Agent?"

I wouldn't

Everyone has to draw the line somewhere!

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"How would you chat up an Estate Agent?"

Thanks for showing me this house, now would you like to come back and see mine

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"How would you chat up a Taxi Driver?"

Can I pay with THIS?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up the designer of the (at present) largest roller coaster ride in the UK?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an Estate Agent?

I wouldn't

Everyone has to draw the line somewhere!"

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"How would you chat up an Estate Agent?

I wouldn't

Everyone has to draw the line somewhere!"

I hear you have a quota to fill a certain amount of houses weekly, I've got something similar where I need to fill a certain amount of women weekly, wanna come back to mine and compare notes?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an Estate Agent?

Thanks for showing me this house, now would you like to come back and see mine

Time spent wisely viewing a house!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Taxi Driver?

Can I pay with THIS?"

Direct...ions!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an Estate Agent?

I wouldn't

Everyone has to draw the line somewhere!

I hear you have a quota to fill a certain amount of houses weekly, I've got something similar where I need to fill a certain amount of women weekly, wanna come back to mine and compare notes? "

A classic of classics..of classics!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha it's a cruel thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an Estate Agent?"

People describe me as a bungalow because I've got it all down below.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hahaha it's a cruel thread

"
x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an Estate Agent?

People describe me as a bungalow because I've got it all down below.

I would love to see the persons eyes as the realisation hits!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a supermarket checkout assistant?

I usually do self service

"
Chuckle: That's an insider joke!

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"How would you chat up a Hairdresser?"

Can you book an appointment for around 11pm tonight to sort out your bed hair?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a priest?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Nun?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Mullah?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Nun?"

I'm from the laundry service, I'm here about your dirty habits

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Psychiatrist?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Nun?

I'm from the laundry service, I'm here about your dirty habits

She SHALL not refuse to be cleansed!

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"How would you chat up a priest?"

How old did you want me to pretend to be again?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Hairdresser?

Can you book an appointment for around 11pm tonight to sort out your bed hair? "

How could they refuse?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a priest?

How old did you want me to pretend to be again? "
No laughter shall obviously be added to this!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"How would you chat up an Estate Agent?

I wouldn't

Everyone has to draw the line somewhere!"

That's why I never got chatted up when I was a draughtsman

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"How would you chat up a priest?

How old did you want me to pretend to be again? No laughter shall obviously be added to this!"

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

That's why I never got chatted up when I was a draughtsman

Did you have to sharpen your own pencil ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Nun?"

How religious are you? You'll be screaming out for god once I get my hands on you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How Would you chat up a

Boxer?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a priest?

How old did you want me to pretend to be again? No laughter shall obviously be added to this!

"
I did say obviously!

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

[Removed by poster at 19/08/21 08:49:39]

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

That's why I never got chatted up when I was a draughtsman

Did you have to sharpen your own pencil ?"
all of the time... chisel point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Psychiatrist?"

So I hear you used to fixing minds.. fancy having yours blown?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Nun?

How religious are you? You'll be screaming out for god once I get my hands on you "

Makes me wish I was a Nun!

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"How Would you chat up a

Boxer?"

Fisticuffs?

I prefer a fisting in cuffs

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"How would you chat up a Nun?"

Wear's the soap?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How Would you chat up a

Boxer?"

So your a boxer? Glad to have found you, I havent had a good fisting in ages!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Psychiatrist?

So I hear you used to fixing minds.. fancy having yours blown?"

You have just blown a phychiatrists mind! I'm sure one will be along here shortly!!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"How Would you chat up a

Boxer?"
fancy going around with me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How Would you chat up a

Boxer?

So your a boxer? Glad to have found you, I havent had a good fisting in ages!"

Far too naughty for THIS thread!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"How would you chat up a Psychiatrist?"
I really want to fuck your mother

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How Would you chat up a

Boxer? fancy going around with me?

Again, a good start, but they may not yet take that hint!

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"How would you chat up a Psychiatrist?I really want to fuck your mother

Sigmund Freud approves of this comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Hairdresser?"

I want 4 inches off please. Oh, let me remind you what 4 inches looks like before you chop. *takes cock out*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Psychiatrist?I really want to fuck your mother

A classic of classics...of classics!

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"How would you chat up a Nun?

Wear's the soap?

It does, doesn't it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Hairdresser?

I want 4 inches off please. Oh, let me remind you what 4 inches looks like before you chop. *takes cock out*"

That's all your getting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How Would you chat up a

Boxer?"

Is that a fat dick in your pants or is that just a groin guard?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Psychiatrist?I really want to fuck your mother

Bravo

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Butcher?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a tailor/Seamstress?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Ballet Dancer?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Trapeze Atist?

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"How would you chat up a tailor/Seamstress?"

Shall we just cut to the chase and go straight to you measuring up my crotch?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"How would you chat up a Butcher?"

Oi Pat, fancy a fag ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up an Astronaut?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"How would you chat up a Trapeze Atist?"

I see you're a Swinger

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a tailor/Seamstress?

Shall we just cut to the chase and go straight to you measuring up my crotch? "

Daring...but may get you a bit of comeback needle!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Trapeze Atist?

I see you're a Swinger"

..of sorts!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Ballet Dancer?"

I love your Nutcracker

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Butcher?

Oi Pat, fancy a fag ?"

Done and dusted! No need for more!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Ballet Dancer?

I love your Nutcracker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Butcher?"

I'd like you to meat me regularly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How Would you chat up a

Boxer?

Is that a fat dick in your pants or is that just a groin guard? "

Goes into the classics!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Butcher?

I'd like you to meat me regularly."

Goes into the classics!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Butcher?"

What's a girl got to do to get my hands on your world famous sausage?

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"How would you chat up a Butcher?"

I'm here here to take all of that speciality sausage you ordered in just for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Butcher?

I'd like you to meat me regularly."

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"How would you chat up a Butcher?

What's a girl got to do to get my hands on your world famous sausage?"

Gah you beat me to it by seconds!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Politician?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Butcher?

What's a girl got to do to get my hands on your world famous sausage?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Firefighter?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Ballet Dancer?"

Forget pointe toe, fancy having your toes curled instead?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Politician?"

You give me an election.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Used Car Salesman?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"How would you chat up a Ballet Dancer?"
fancy a Pas due Deux avec moi?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have we covered Carpenter yet ? Can I hold your hammer !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Garage Mechanic?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Trapeze Atist?"

Can you use a little tight rope on me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Trapeze Atist?

Can you use a little tight rope on me?"

Saucy as hell!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Politician?"

You fuck me on a daily basis, mayswell do it literally.. *opens legs wide*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Ballet Dancer? fancy a Pas due Deux avec moi?

Sounds damn fine to the untrained ear!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Politician?

You fuck me on a daily basis, mayswell do it literally.. *opens legs wide*"

Into the classical classic realm!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Garage Mechanic?"

Are you married? I'm about to throw a spanner in the works.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a writer?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a teacher of the deaf?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a teacher of the blind?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a teacher of the dumb?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Garage Mechanic?

Are you married? I'm about to throw a spanner in the works."

You've done it again!

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By *itsAndTangentsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"How would you chat up a writer?"

I'm a bit of a novelist myself, I'm currently working on a book titled "how to shag a writer within 14 words"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Waiter/Waitress?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up the owner of a snooker Hall?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a Lawyer?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you chat up a PA...Personal Assistant?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have we covered Carpenter yet ? Can I hold your hammer !"

The hammer is no longer I presume banging in nails?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a writer?

I'm a bit of a novelist myself, I'm currently working on a book titled "how to shag a writer within 14 words" "

A devious writers mind!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up an electrician?

Are you an electrician? There seems to be sparks flying between us."

If they do not understand that...then they are no electrician!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How would you chat up a Politician?

You give me an election.

A classic!

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