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"They hold a senior management position" | |||
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"They are never ever EVER wrong. " This, always the martyr, victim or hero, never to blame for ANYTHING. Everything bad that happens to them is someone else's fault. Always. | |||
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"They hold a senior management position" I must be a grade A narc then | |||
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"They hold a senior management position I must be a grade A narc then " Are you also a sociopath? | |||
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"They hold a senior management position I must be a grade A narc then Are you also a sociopath?" I drove into a cyclepath by accident once if that helps | |||
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"Controlling always making you feel guilty..." And extremely manipulative too... | |||
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"A narcissist doesn’t know he’s a narcissist, so if you think you’re one, you’re probably not, but then if you don’t think you are, then you could well be." Very much so, and for God's sake don't tell them they're one | |||
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"This is my ex all over. He's probably back on here tbh, hunting down his next victim! The issues were never caused by him but always my fault because I was so "mentally unwell". I told him I think he has narcissistic personality and he obviously denied it and still thinks he's amazing and everyone else are idiots." Did they pay you a little compliment after being awful like a shitty peace offering and so they could feel like they're actually a good person. | |||
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"This is my ex all over. He's probably back on here tbh, hunting down his next victim! The issues were never caused by him but always my fault because I was so "mentally unwell". I told him I think he has narcissistic personality and he obviously denied it and still thinks he's amazing and everyone else are idiots." Clown... you better off him for sure. | |||
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"Their words and actions don't match up. It's all talk. " Yeah like dispising cheaters yet cheat themselves. | |||
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"They Will make you feel like you are not good enough. " Yeah if only you try a little harder to please them. Wear nicer clothes, smile more. | |||
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"Thanks for sharing. The main problem is that when you are with someone like that you don't notice it can take months, years before someone notices. And people who might see the signs don't often speak up and let that person know. You're right though, they don't care about anyone or who they hurt. And they often will try to make your life hell once you do find them out and leave them! " Do you have an experience to share? If so, what was the FIRST clue. | |||
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"This is my ex all over. He's probably back on here tbh, hunting down his next victim! The issues were never caused by him but always my fault because I was so "mentally unwell". I told him I think he has narcissistic personality and he obviously denied it and still thinks he's amazing and everyone else are idiots." This could very easily by my ex too | |||
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"This is my ex all over. He's probably back on here tbh, hunting down his next victim! The issues were never caused by him but always my fault because I was so "mentally unwell". I told him I think he has narcissistic personality and he obviously denied it and still thinks he's amazing and everyone else are idiots. This could very easily be* my ex too " | |||
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"They are initially exceptionally attractive. So attentive all you could ever want. They get you, they love you they think you are wonderful. Then it changes. What they first loved about you is no longer good enough. What you shared with them about your self and past becomes ammunition to hurt you. They alienate you from your friends and lived ones. They love you if only you could be better and change. What they do wrong is your fault. They wouldn't have been angru or unfaithful unless you would have... . Insert whatever. Creative charismatic sociopaths x " Sounds like a personal experience xx and I can empathise being on the receiving end as a guy - It just seems helpless at the time because your head can’t tell your heart who to love - even when their behaviour is destroying you. You hold out hoping they’ll change… then they don’t | |||
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"They are initially very charming and almost dream-like. You feel very lucky to have them " ... thats the one!and everyone who meets them are so "special" and more you meet them,more they destroy you...in every possible way . | |||
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"Is jealous of your kids." Unless you have kids with them. That's even worse | |||
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"Haha you know what same here actually?!...what you gonna have? " I think I will just stick to water... it's a bit too late to eat. | |||
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"Waiting for the daffodils to bloom." And how's that going? | |||
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"Speaking as someone who needed counselling for the narcissistic (11 year) marriage I was in, there are so many traits. Unfortunately, due to it being a spectrum disorder, there's no 'one size fits all' to identify a narcissist, but controlling, manipulative, deceitful, cruel, never admitting fault or apologising for anything, deflecting blame, attention seeking, creating drama, putting me down, etc etc are certainly traits I can relate to my ex-wife. Not that I want a relationship with a man (I'm as straight as a ruler!), my bad experience did make me bicurious sexually (as yet unexplored) " blimey! Not surprising you’re thinking about guys. | |||
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"I thought I'd create this post where we share personality traits of a narcissist. Maybe we can help someone identify and not get involved with one. Here is one to start 1. They set higher standards for others than they live up to themselves. " Do you mean identifying in the outside world or on here? | |||
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"They look in the mirror every time they pass it. " I tend to look myself a lot in reflections and mirrors but out of habit But I’m far from a narcissist lol | |||
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"I thought I'd create this post where we share personality traits of a narcissist. Maybe we can help someone identify and not get involved with one. Here is one to start 1. They set higher standards for others than they live up to themselves. " Do you or anyone else here hold a qualification of any sort ? Do you think people might just give their unsubstantiated opinion ? Could this be slightly dangerous ? | |||
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"I thought I'd create this post where we share personality traits of a narcissist. Maybe we can help someone identify and not get involved with one. Here is one to start 1. They set higher standards for others than they live up to themselves. Do you or anyone else here hold a qualification of any sort ? Do you think people might just give their unsubstantiated opinion ? Could this be slightly dangerous ?" Probably not, yes, yes. | |||
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"I thought I'd create this post where we share personality traits of a narcissist. Maybe we can help someone identify and not get involved with one. Here is one to start 1. They set higher standards for others than they live up to themselves. Do you or anyone else here hold a qualification of any sort ? Do you think people might just give their unsubstantiated opinion ? Could this be slightly dangerous ?" Being a narc is a trait so you don’t particularly need a qualification for it (we aren’t talking about mental problems) , and you can do some research online about it. I have done some as I’ve had narc ex boyfriends and some “family” members who I absolutely despise | |||
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"I thought I'd create this post where we share personality traits of a narcissist. Maybe we can help someone identify and not get involved with one. Here is one to start 1. They set higher standards for others than they live up to themselves. Do you or anyone else here hold a qualification of any sort ? Do you think people might just give their unsubstantiated opinion ? Could this be slightly dangerous ?" Plenty of qualified professionals share their expertise on quora which is where I got my eye-opening crash course. After a mental car-crash entanglement with a narcissist. Clinically its a personality disorder, theres under-developed neurological wiring in emotional centres. The 'tells' as described above are consistent traits. | |||
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"I thought I'd create this post where we share personality traits of a narcissist. Maybe we can help someone identify and not get involved with one. Here is one to start 1. They set higher standards for others than they live up to themselves. Do you or anyone else here hold a qualification of any sort ? Do you think people might just give their unsubstantiated opinion ? Could this be slightly dangerous ?" I don't need a qualification to know my mother is a Grade A narcissist. | |||
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"I thought I'd create this post where we share personality traits of a narcissist. Maybe we can help someone identify and not get involved with one. Here is one to start 1. They set higher standards for others than they live up to themselves. " Yeah sadly found this to be a common one as well | |||
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"They are initially exceptionally attractive. So attentive all you could ever want. They get you, they love you they think you are wonderful. Then it changes. What they first loved about you is no longer good enough. What you shared with them about your self and past becomes ammunition to hurt you. They alienate you from your friends and lived ones. They love you if only you could be better and change. What they do wrong is your fault. They wouldn't have been angru or unfaithful unless you would have... . Insert whatever. Creative charismatic sociopaths x " You've met my ex then | |||
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"I had the misfortune of going out with one for 5 years in my 20’s, and I’m still dealing with the emotional impact to this day. Once you’ve had someone like that in your life it’s difficult to get emotionally close to people in the same way afterwards." That's a really long time to allow that person still affect your personal relationships | |||
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"I thought I'd create this post where we share personality traits of a narcissist. Maybe we can help someone identify and not get involved with one. Here is one to start 1. They set higher standards for others than they live up to themselves. Do you or anyone else here hold a qualification of any sort ? Do you think people might just give their unsubstantiated opinion ? Could this be slightly dangerous ? I don't need a qualification to know my mother is a Grade A narcissist. " Unfortunately my mum is the same x | |||
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"It's a scientific fact that more women than men are narcissistic. This is because when god created women he made a man. Then removed intellect, accountability and reason " Well that's utter guff | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that?" I'm sure you didn't mean this to sound as harsh as it does. Narcissists often prey on low self-esteem - I have tried to set stronger boundaries for myself which has helped me. | |||
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"I had the misfortune of going out with one for 5 years in my 20’s, and I’m still dealing with the emotional impact to this day. Once you’ve had someone like that in your life it’s difficult to get emotionally close to people in the same way afterwards. That's a really long time to allow that person still affect your personal relationships " I know I shouldn’t still let it get to me now, and it’s not something that’s always at the front of my mind. I guess I’m just more guarded overall, so to speak. | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that?" I really wish I knew. And I don’t mean to come across as a ‘victim’ for what I wrote. I’m not asking for sympathy or anything like that, I was just saying that’s all. | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that? I'm sure you didn't mean this to sound as harsh as it does. Narcissists often prey on low self-esteem - I have tried to set stronger boundaries for myself which has helped me. " I agree, and sometimes it’s hard to see what’s actually happening when it’s gradual, and you’re involved. | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that?" They target strong willed, good, genuine people. Then they break then down slowly, bit by bit. | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that? I'm sure you didn't mean this to sound as harsh as it does. Narcissists often prey on low self-esteem - I have tried to set stronger boundaries for myself which has helped me. I agree, and sometimes it’s hard to see what’s actually happening when it’s gradual, and you’re involved. " Very. I didn't see until I'd left. And years later I still can be triggered by minor things. It's emotional abuse. Takes a toll for a long time. | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that?" They will tailor their manipulation according to their 'victim', so will be quite different from the outside. They may seem incredibly charming, optimistic about you and your potential, they may pull you in as a rescuer of some type, they will pull your strings. The narc is looking for appropriate people to augment them and their needs. These people will be just themselves and if the narc wants to use them, they may be doing nothing unusual or psychologically unhealthy. We're all able to assess others and the narcs will be especially skilled at picking people. If someone is wrong, they'll move on to the next person. | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that? I'm sure you didn't mean this to sound as harsh as it does. Narcissists often prey on low self-esteem - I have tried to set stronger boundaries for myself which has helped me. I agree, and sometimes it’s hard to see what’s actually happening when it’s gradual, and you’re involved. Very. I didn't see until I'd left. And years later I still can be triggered by minor things. It's emotional abuse. Takes a toll for a long time." That’s exactly how I feel too. It’s amazing how quickly you can see it for yourself when out of it! Not so easy beforehand though. I hope it keeps getting easier for you as time goes by. | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that? They target strong willed, good, genuine people. Then they break then down slowly, bit by bit. " Whatever attracted him to me in the first place he picked the wrong flower. I dont roll over for my tummy tickled for anyone. Everytime he said something along the lines of "you aren't going put in that are you" I'd reply "yes thanks", he didn't like that. Nor did he like being told straight I saw him for exactly what he was | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that? They target strong willed, good, genuine people. Then they break then down slowly, bit by bit. Whatever attracted him to me in the first place he picked the wrong flower. I dont roll over for my tummy tickled for anyone. Everytime he said something along the lines of "you aren't going put in that are you" I'd reply "yes thanks", he didn't like that. Nor did he like being told straight I saw him for exactly what he was" I love this!! Well done for standing up to him! | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that?" As if you're turning the problem on us who deal with these wankpots as if it is our own fault. I can't help who my mother is. And I'm sure most others who deal with narcs didn't get involved knowingly. | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that?" In my case, it's my mother. I didn't ask to be born. Don't blame the victim - blame the person behaving in the negative way. | |||
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"There are two contrasting types of narcissist: the grandiose type and the vulnerable type. Narcissism in moderation is healthy. The most extremely and dangerous is the pathological narcissist who suffers fro NPD aka Narcissistic Personality Disorder which is very rare, and can only be diagnosed by a trained professional. Narcissism is a commonly misused and frequently misascribed term. Crucially, it is good to feel good about yourself. It is pathogical to have a narcissistic disdain for others. The best method to deal with a pathological narcissist to to cut off all contact; they are damaged people who cause damage to others. Familiarise yourself with narcissistic red flags." | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that? " Great victim blaming there, should I wear a burka too so I dont attract unwanted attention? These people are just like you and me, its only with prolonged contact that the inconsistencies appear. | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that? They target strong willed, good, genuine people. Then they break then down slowly, bit by bit. Whatever attracted him to me in the first place he picked the wrong flower. I dont roll over for my tummy tickled for anyone. Everytime he said something along the lines of "you aren't going put in that are you" I'd reply "yes thanks", he didn't like that. Nor did he like being told straight I saw him for exactly what he was I love this!! Well done for standing up to him! " Thank you others aren't as strong though and may benefit from this thread to help them see they don't have to take it | |||
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"I read this the other day. It reminded me why I decided to take 2020 as a celibate year (sorry the rest of you had to join me): https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/aug/01/not-all-narcissists-are-grandiose-the-vulnerable-type-can-be-just-as-dangerous " Well fuck! Lightbulb moment. | |||
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"I read this the other day. It reminded me why I decided to take 2020 as a celibate year (sorry the rest of you had to join me): https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/aug/01/not-all-narcissists-are-grandiose-the-vulnerable-type-can-be-just-as-dangerous " Read this the other week, really good read. Definitely highlights those who aren't the TV stereotype | |||
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"Aren't the majority of these posts on this thread simply subjective opinions, biassed and without any substantiation. There are soo many definitions of narcissistic people, and just a free for all to slate people they don't particularly like and has nothing to do narcissism. A narcissistic person" It's helping people to talk about the topic. Can't you see that? Do we all need a Masters to anonymously talk about our experience? | |||
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"Aren't the majority of these posts on this thread simply subjective opinions, biassed and without any substantiation. There are soo many definitions of narcissistic people, and just a free for all to slate people they don't particularly like and has nothing to do narcissism. A narcissistic person It's helping people to talk about the topic. Can't you see that? Do we all need a Masters to anonymously talk about our experience?" Just calling a person a narcissist in someones opinion doesn't make them one. | |||
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"Aren't the majority of these posts on this thread simply subjective opinions, biassed and without any substantiation. There are soo many definitions of narcissistic people, and just a free for all to slate people they don't particularly like and has nothing to do narcissism. A narcissistic person It's helping people to talk about the topic. Can't you see that? Do we all need a Masters to anonymously talk about our experience? Just calling a person a narcissist in someones opinion doesn't make them one. " Who said it was someone's opinion? Thank you for your contribution, but I've known my mother for 35.5yrs and her brother has known her for 60. It's conclusive. She is a narcissist and a jolly nasty one at that. | |||
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"Aren't the majority of these posts on this thread simply subjective opinions, biassed and without any substantiation. There are soo many definitions of narcissistic people, and just a free for all to slate people they don't particularly like and has nothing to do narcissism. A narcissistic person It's helping people to talk about the topic. Can't you see that? Do we all need a Masters to anonymously talk about our experience? Just calling a person a narcissist in someones opinion doesn't make them one. " This is a supportive topic for those who have struggled with narcissistic behaviour. How are your comments helping anyone? | |||
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"They send you abusive messages when you tell them you aren’t meeting at the moment and continue to be abusive when you point out their ranting is a major turn off?" Is that narcissistic? Or just not nice and a bit daft | |||
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"They send you abusive messages when you tell them you aren’t meeting at the moment and continue to be abusive when you point out their ranting is a major turn off? Is that narcissistic? Or just not nice and a bit daft " I can’t post what he said as it’s against forum rules but he was definitely a narcissist, unfortunately I have experienced a couple of them before him so I know the signs. | |||
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"It's a personality disorder. If you or anyone you know is a suspected narcissist, you can direct them to Mind or seek help through the NHS. It is a serious issue and suffers may need support in identifying their problems and gaining help and treatment." What about people who put up with it? Think they might need help first ffs... | |||
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"It's a personality disorder. If you or anyone you know is a suspected narcissist, you can direct them to Mind or seek help through the NHS. It is a serious issue and suffers may need support in identifying their problems and gaining help and treatment." In an odd way I’m being to feel every one has problem category. Me I’m feeling straight on the binomial chart. Damn I hate normal. What would be your new category. | |||
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"It's a personality disorder. If you or anyone you know is a suspected narcissist, you can direct them to Mind or seek help through the NHS. It is a serious issue and suffers may need support in identifying their problems and gaining help and treatment." Have you tried to suggest to a narcissist that they're a narcissist?! Rule 1 of narcissism is that you cannot be at fault for anything, you are perfect and it's everyone else who is problematic. They fundamentally lack the ability to identify their own issue. You'd think if the same thing unfolded in your life over and over and over again, in exactly the same way, like Groundhog Day, that you might stop and consider how YOU might need to make some alterations? Narcissists don't though. They convince themselves that all of these repeated things are all someone else's fault, even if believing that requires a greater belief in chance than the big JC walking among us. Trying to tell my mother she's a narcissist and needs help is like trying to tell a 3yo not to get up at 7am on a Saturday...... | |||
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"It's a personality disorder. If you or anyone you know is a suspected narcissist, you can direct them to Mind or seek help through the NHS. It is a serious issue and suffers may need support in identifying their problems and gaining help and treatment. What about people who put up with it? Think they might need help first ffs... " I'm aware of that sweetie, as are the tens of posts above me offering support and their own experiences of dealing with it. If we support people with narcissism there will be less victims of them. Do you see? | |||
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"It's a personality disorder. If you or anyone you know is a suspected narcissist, you can direct them to Mind or seek help through the NHS. It is a serious issue and suffers may need support in identifying their problems and gaining help and treatment. Have you tried to suggest to a narcissist that they're a narcissist?! Rule 1 of narcissism is that you cannot be at fault for anything, you are perfect and it's everyone else who is problematic. They fundamentally lack the ability to identify their own issue. You'd think if the same thing unfolded in your life over and over and over again, in exactly the same way, like Groundhog Day, that you might stop and consider how YOU might need to make some alterations? Narcissists don't though. They convince themselves that all of these repeated things are all someone else's fault, even if believing that requires a greater belief in chance than the big JC walking among us. Trying to tell my mother she's a narcissist and needs help is like trying to tell a 3yo not to get up at 7am on a Saturday......" It is incredibly difficult, I agree. | |||
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"It's a personality disorder. If you or anyone you know is a suspected narcissist, you can direct them to Mind or seek help through the NHS. It is a serious issue and suffers may need support in identifying their problems and gaining help and treatment. What about people who put up with it? Think they might need help first ffs... I'm aware of that sweetie, as are the tens of posts above me offering support and their own experiences of dealing with it. If we support people with narcissism there will be less victims of them. Do you see? " And I wonder why my son is currently rambling into a very fucked up world... if I accept your answer, basically it’s saying we can help a car thief steal more cars more effectively and with less guilt attached... fuck the victims.. very noble ... u will no doubt be surprised i slightly disagree ... sorry as no doubt you will be OFFENDED! | |||
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"It's a personality disorder. If you or anyone you know is a suspected narcissist, you can direct them to Mind or seek help through the NHS. It is a serious issue and suffers may need support in identifying their problems and gaining help and treatment. What about people who put up with it? Think they might need help first ffs... I'm aware of that sweetie, as are the tens of posts above me offering support and their own experiences of dealing with it. If we support people with narcissism there will be less victims of them. Do you see? " Theory says that most narcissists are "created" due to early life experiences. You'd have to intervene at that point, presumably, to prevent the narcissism in the first place. | |||
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"It's a personality disorder. If you or anyone you know is a suspected narcissist, you can direct them to Mind or seek help through the NHS. It is a serious issue and suffers may need support in identifying their problems and gaining help and treatment. What about people who put up with it? Think they might need help first ffs... I'm aware of that sweetie, as are the tens of posts above me offering support and their own experiences of dealing with it. If we support people with narcissism there will be less victims of them. Do you see? And I wonder why my son is currently rambling into a very fucked up world... if I accept your answer, basically it’s saying we can help a car thief steal more cars more effectively and with less guilt attached... fuck the victims.. very noble ... u will no doubt be surprised i slightly disagree ... sorry as no doubt you will be OFFENDED! " I don't know what you're rambling on about. I'm just trying to signpost people to get help. I think you might need some too. | |||
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"It's a personality disorder. If you or anyone you know is a suspected narcissist, you can direct them to Mind or seek help through the NHS. It is a serious issue and suffers may need support in identifying their problems and gaining help and treatment. What about people who put up with it? Think they might need help first ffs... I'm aware of that sweetie, as are the tens of posts above me offering support and their own experiences of dealing with it. If we support people with narcissism there will be less victims of them. Do you see? And I wonder why my son is currently rambling into a very fucked up world... if I accept your answer, basically it’s saying we can help a car thief steal more cars more effectively and with less guilt attached... fuck the victims.. very noble ... u will no doubt be surprised i slightly disagree ... sorry as no doubt you will be OFFENDED! I don't know what you're rambling on about. I'm just trying to signpost people to get help. I think you might need some too." He’s here 3 years, 1 Veri but an expert is now ‘gaslighting’ me... gotta love it | |||
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"It's a personality disorder. If you or anyone you know is a suspected narcissist, you can direct them to Mind or seek help through the NHS. It is a serious issue and suffers may need support in identifying their problems and gaining help and treatment. What about people who put up with it? Think they might need help first ffs... I'm aware of that sweetie, as are the tens of posts above me offering support and their own experiences of dealing with it. If we support people with narcissism there will be less victims of them. Do you see? Theory says that most narcissists are "created" due to early life experiences. You'd have to intervene at that point, presumably, to prevent the narcissism in the first place." You're right, a large number of narcissists have been categorised as suffering from some childhood trauma. Not all have though. It is possible to help narcissists, which is why I made my original post. As you mentioned earlier, it is extremely difficult to get them treatment as they don't believe they have it. That is one of the key points of their treatment. It's one of many personality disorders and, unlike anxiety or OCD personality disorders, it has a negative effect on others. This makes suffers receive little sympathy. | |||
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"It's a personality disorder. If you or anyone you know is a suspected narcissist, you can direct them to Mind or seek help through the NHS. It is a serious issue and suffers may need support in identifying their problems and gaining help and treatment. What about people who put up with it? Think they might need help first ffs... I'm aware of that sweetie, as are the tens of posts above me offering support and their own experiences of dealing with it. If we support people with narcissism there will be less victims of them. Do you see? And I wonder why my son is currently rambling into a very fucked up world... if I accept your answer, basically it’s saying we can help a car thief steal more cars more effectively and with less guilt attached... fuck the victims.. very noble ... u will no doubt be surprised i slightly disagree ... sorry as no doubt you will be OFFENDED! I don't know what you're rambling on about. I'm just trying to signpost people to get help. I think you might need some too. He’s here 3 years, 1 Veri but an expert is now ‘gaslighting’ me... gotta love it " You're just making yourself look silly now. | |||
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"It's a personality disorder. If you or anyone you know is a suspected narcissist, you can direct them to Mind or seek help through the NHS. It is a serious issue and suffers may need support in identifying their problems and gaining help and treatment. What about people who put up with it? Think they might need help first ffs... I'm aware of that sweetie, as are the tens of posts above me offering support and their own experiences of dealing with it. If we support people with narcissism there will be less victims of them. Do you see? Theory says that most narcissists are "created" due to early life experiences. You'd have to intervene at that point, presumably, to prevent the narcissism in the first place. You're right, a large number of narcissists have been categorised as suffering from some childhood trauma. Not all have though. It is possible to help narcissists, which is why I made my original post. As you mentioned earlier, it is extremely difficult to get them treatment as they don't believe they have it. That is one of the key points of their treatment. It's one of many personality disorders and, unlike anxiety or OCD personality disorders, it has a negative effect on others. This makes suffers receive little sympathy." Yes, it is hard to have sympathy after nearly 36yrs of emotional abuse from a narcissist parent. We have attempted to help her and encouraged her to seek help, but we might as well tilt at windmills. | |||
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"It's a personality disorder. If you or anyone you know is a suspected narcissist, you can direct them to Mind or seek help through the NHS. It is a serious issue and suffers may need support in identifying their problems and gaining help and treatment. What about people who put up with it? Think they might need help first ffs... I'm aware of that sweetie, as are the tens of posts above me offering support and their own experiences of dealing with it. If we support people with narcissism there will be less victims of them. Do you see? And I wonder why my son is currently rambling into a very fucked up world... if I accept your answer, basically it’s saying we can help a car thief steal more cars more effectively and with less guilt attached... fuck the victims.. very noble ... u will no doubt be surprised i slightly disagree ... sorry as no doubt you will be OFFENDED! I don't know what you're rambling on about. I'm just trying to signpost people to get help. I think you might need some too. He’s here 3 years, 1 Veri but an expert is now ‘gaslighting’ me... gotta love it You're just making yourself look silly now." No, just asking about any assistance for the victims and all I get is how the perpetrators need help... If that’s silly I am guilty as fuck... case closed numnut | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that?" Interesting to put the focus on what might attract a Narc to someone. Do you think they have a type? | |||
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"Aren't the majority of these posts on this thread simply subjective opinions, biassed and without any substantiation. There are soo many definitions of narcissistic people, and just a free for all to slate people they don't particularly like and has nothing to do narcissism. A narcissistic person" I don't think so, people have talked mainly about the impact of the Narc rather than slate them. | |||
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"They try to reinvent themselves over and over, changing tactics each time. The problem with that is they might be able to fool some but they can never hide from themselves. They're name is usually Bob " I don't agree with the last bit :p | |||
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"It's a scientific fact that more women than men are narcissistic. This is because when god created women he made a man. Then removed intellect, accountability and reason " 'As good as it gets' Jack Nicholson | |||
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"They try to reinvent themselves over and over, changing tactics each time. The problem with that is they might be able to fool some but they can never hide from themselves. They're name is usually Bob " Bon left Fab yesterday. Woop woop. | |||
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".... perhaps 'victims' of narcs should address what attracts the narc to them, and maybe work on that? I really wish I knew. And I don’t mean to come across as a ‘victim’ for what I wrote. I’m not asking for sympathy or anything like that, I was just saying that’s all. " Actually the one thing that you can do is only share your trauma stories with people that you absolutely trust. Other narcs use trauma stories to identify new victims. | |||
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"A narcissist doesn’t know he’s a narcissist, so if you think you’re one, you’re probably not, but then if you don’t think you are, then you could well be." I would disagree with that. Studies show most narcissists know they are and in addition are proud of the personality traits it produces. | |||
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"They are initially exceptionally attractive. So attentive all you could ever want. They get you, they love you they think you are wonderful. Then it changes. What they first loved about you is no longer good enough. What you shared with them about your self and past becomes ammunition to hurt you. They alienate you from your friends and lived ones. They love you if only you could be better and change. What they do wrong is your fault. They wouldn't have been angru or unfaithful unless you would have... . Insert whatever. Creative charismatic sociopaths x " Absolutely spot on! My ex was all of those. Yes, narcissist isn't a word to be thrown about lightly but they exist and are damaging to have around, then dangerous when trying to get away from them. My first hand experience, and happy and lucky to have eventually escaped them. | |||
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"I read this the other day. It reminded me why I decided to take 2020 as a celibate year (sorry the rest of you had to join me): https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/aug/01/not-all-narcissists-are-grandiose-the-vulnerable-type-can-be-just-as-dangerous " Excellent article thank you | |||
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"I thought I'd share why I started this post. My mum was with one for 10 years when I was younger. Severely damaged my relationship with her. And recently I've had a few friends mainly female but also 1 male who've found it hard to escape mentally/emotionally abusive relationships. There is a lot similiar about all our stories. Maybe talking about it might make people think twice before getting too involved with one. They really don't care whether they damage you or and will try and separate you from anyone you care about. I really hate seeing decent people being preyed upon by them " Have you been able to help any to escape? | |||
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"The most prevalent advice for dealing with narcissists is to have no contact with them whatsoever, None, ever." Best I heard | |||
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"I thought I'd share why I started this post. My mum was with one for 10 years when I was younger. Severely damaged my relationship with her. And recently I've had a few friends mainly female but also 1 male who've found it hard to escape mentally/emotionally abusive relationships. There is a lot similiar about all our stories. Maybe talking about it might make people think twice before getting too involved with one. They really don't care whether they damage you or and will try and separate you from anyone you care about. I really hate seeing decent people being preyed upon by them Have you been able to help any to escape? " Yes I helped my friend twice. Once she lived with me for a while. Then she was back in the same situation again. But this time I encouraged her to reach out to others too. So it wasn't just my opinion she heard. I think because she was supported by more people it helped her leave. | |||
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