FabSwingers.com forum: Club fear!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hello,

I’m after some advice please. We would love to go to a club/party. We both find personalities such a big part of the attraction with others, so feel it would be great for us to get to know other likeminded people face to face. My (Lu) issue is how do you know if you’re suitable? I’m no model and I’m fine with that but I’m incredibly insecure about my mum tum, and I don’t want to feel really out of place. Any advice great fully received.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Ok I can give loads of advice here. I am a

veteran I suppose if the club scene but even I went through the same feelings at the weekend. It was my first time back post covid and I had put on weight on my dad bod

Whilst this caught up with friends, I will say I did find it hugely overwhelming at first. It was the first time I had met people from swinging scene in nearly 18 months and that was a head screw

The way I managed it was to talk to the people I knew, and people watch. Luckily a few people I know were messing about being spanked and that is when I asked do you mind if that I joined in. Well actually I got my floggers out whip out and said I will show you how it’s done lol

I wasn’t in the right head space to ask people to play as in have sex and whilst there was at least 4 people I had played with previously and another 3 or 4 by the end of the night I would have played with, it wasn't the right time for me.

For me as a single guy I spend a lot of time talking to others and like someone said you have to put ground work in. You may be lucky and get invited to play. Some people like to be invited as well. I would say I prefer to be invited and maybe that is why I don’t play as much as others as I am not that assertive to ask.

Each club night is different, I still get the pre club night nerves. Maybe am I going to be found attractive. I am a biggish bloke, no tattoos and a southern accent. Is anyone going to want to play with me, am I going to be able to keep a hard on l. It is all natural concerns

Also I know a number of couples that will go find no one that they like so won’t play with others . They will still talk to others l, have a dance and have a drink. That’s actually very common.

I would say go to a club even if it is just to watch at first.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

In no way would you be out of place in a club. You get all sorts of people in clubs, but not too many model types! We we were bricking it the first time, now we love club nights. Maybe choose a club where you don't have to dress down and can dress like a normal night out. We only played with each other on our first night like many others, don't feel you're straight into an orgy. Have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In no way would you be out of place in a club. You get all sorts of people in clubs, but not too many model types! We we were bricking it the first time, now we love club nights. Maybe choose a club where you don't have to dress down and can dress like a normal night out. We only played with each other on our first night like many others, don't feel you're straight into an orgy. Have fun

Good advice. Perhaps also wear corset / basque but only for your confidence about tum not for anyone else.

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By *rsTrellisWoman
over a year ago

Cambridge

Going to clubs gave me immense body confidence (mum tum, bingo wings and all!)

You’ll see all shapes and sizes - fat, thin, tall, short, people with disabilities, scars, post-mastectomy, wheelchair users, Deaf, big boobs, small boobs etc etc etc.

There’s NOTHING as sexy as someone who is comfortable in their own skin. You’ll look awesome. Honestly.

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By *rsTrellisWoman
over a year ago

Cambridge

Also - buy a robe (maybe something floaty and silky). Then, you can lose some clothes if you want to but stay covered up.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I am very conscious about my stomach too and I don't ever get naked in the playrooms. There are lots of nice bits of stomach concealing lingerie you can keep on all the time.

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By *etsGo11Man
over a year ago

burton

"I am very conscious about my stomach too and I don't ever get naked in the playrooms. There are lots of nice bits of stomach concealing lingerie you can keep on all the time. "

I wouldn't worry about your stomach! You look fab!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I felt the same as this before we attended our first club. The one place I felt really comfortable going was Xtasia, I'm not sure if there are other clubs with the same set up but in Xtasia you go fully clothed like you're on a night out. As the night goes on the sexy outfits start coming out but it's purely your choice, there's no rule saying you have to. I never would of thought, I of all people would "dress down at 10" but you soon get to realise you are amongst like minded people. Choose an outfit you feel comfortable and sexy in and I'm sure your confidence will shine through x

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Looking to explore the club scene myself and I also have a bit of the fear!

I think it’s more a fear of the unknown but there’s a curiosity in me which I feel I need to visit

I’m pretty confident in my body but I have always wondered what you wear! This probably sounds stupid but do you arrive in lingerie, do you dress as you would for a night out and perhaps change there if you feel comfortable enough??

I’m also a single female so there’s an apprehension about going alone should I choose to do that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking to explore the club scene myself and I also have a bit of the fear!

I think it’s more a fear of the unknown but there’s a curiosity in me which I feel I need to visit

I’m also a single female so there’s an apprehension about going alone should I choose to do that x"

Depends on the club as to what the dress code is. Check out their websites to find out.

If you post in "meets" the club and date you are going you might be able to get chatting to a few people before you go so you won't feel so alone. As a single female I can't see you being alone for long! Good luck x

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Looking to explore the club scene myself and I also have a bit of the fear!

I think it’s more a fear of the unknown but there’s a curiosity in me which I feel I need to visit

I’m also a single female so there’s an apprehension about going alone should I choose to do that x"

Most clubs have changing rooms and lockers for people to use. Arrive in 'normal' clothes then get changed at the club.

Depending on the club you can either dress up or wear lingerie/go naked. I prefer dress down clubs and often just end up wearing a towel.

OP there really isn't anything to worry about.... There are all shapes and sizes at clubs. Wear what makes you feel sexy and enjoy x

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

"Looking to explore the club scene myself and I also have a bit of the fear!

I think it’s more a fear of the unknown but there’s a curiosity in me which I feel I need to visit

I’m also a single female so there’s an apprehension about going alone should I choose to do that x

Depends on the club as to what the dress code is. Check out their websites to find out.

Thank you xx

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By *irty Fun GuyMan
over a year ago

Kidderminster

Happy to chat we have been members of chameleons for several and and can assure we are not models either but never struggle for fun xx

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I assumed (wrongly) when I first attended a club that the women would be stereo type; tall, leggy, thin and tanned ..

That’s not the case at all! Women of all shapes, sizes, height, weight, mum tum or not were all there!

go and try it with a friend, pick the right club (VA or Liberty Elite) have a good time

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

See if you can arrange to go with another couple, many of the clubs have a little "who is going thread" that way you can start chatting to some of the other people who are going that night, chemise are fun as it's like a very little black dress/lingerie if you don't want to completely bare all at first, but once you realise everyone else is naked and you are chatting about shopping naked, worries soon drift away

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By *nked rascalMan
over a year ago

Burton on Trent

Interesting thread this one. Curiosity has got the better of me and is an avenue I’m going to be checking out for sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to say the FFFF nights are back at xtasia. A great way to introduce yourself into the club scene. Search in the forum for details. It's predominantly a social so a great way to start x

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