FabSwingers.com forum: Hotlist?? Bullshit list

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok we’ve all seen and done the hotlist threads.

Now it’s time to ‘fess up to something more sinister.

No need to name names but have you ever given a false compliment to someone else because you actually like them but they just aren’t for meeting and you wanted to let them down gently???

Remember boys and girls play nicely

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 15/08/21 16:33:52]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No. If I like someone on a personal level or even if I don't I'll just say no thank you politely. What false compliment could you give under those circumstances? Not the old it's not you it's me surely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why must we always play nicely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope just a polite no that's all that's needed

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I don't do false compliments. Surely if you've chatted to someone there's always a real compliment you can pay?

In terms of rejection I'm not sure a compliment makes it any easier on either party, but maybe that's just because I prefer a straight answer to prevarication.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

No. I'm not brutal, but I'll always say some version of the truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope just a polite no that's all that's needed "

Agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok we’ve all seen and done the hotlist threads.

Now it’s time to ‘fess up to something more sinister.

No need to name names but have you ever given a false compliment to someone else because you actually like them but they just aren’t for meeting and you wanted to let them down gently???

Remember boys and girls play nicely

The 'sinister' way isn't me.

Suppose I'm too blunt (honest) in the first place.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don't do false compliments. Surely if you've chatted to someone there's always a real compliment you can pay?

In terms of rejection I'm not sure a compliment makes it any easier on either party, but maybe that's just because I prefer a straight answer to prevarication."

Me too. I need unambiguous answers either tell me yes or no. Any ambiguity I interpret as no just to be on the safe side

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

No, I’m huge fan of honesty and could not bring myself to bs someone like that,

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I used to be the one person who kept quiet if someone turned up to work with eg a disastrous perm. Everyone else would be saying how lovely it was while I smiled and thought of Kevin Keegan.

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By *on-snowedMan
over a year ago

harlow

I only really get messages from ladys in the forum so am nice.

To be honest they will have to be special other wise I won't bother.

And as always the people I always like dont like me.

I'll find her one day.

I try not to bruise any ego though. Im not Intrested in couples so just say exactly that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No. If I like someone on a personal level or even if I don't I'll just say no thank you politely. What false compliment could you give under those circumstances? Not the old it's not you it's me surely "

That’s the easy way out though for some people. I really like you etc but…..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't do false compliments. Surely if you've chatted to someone there's always a real compliment you can pay?

In terms of rejection I'm not sure a compliment makes it any easier on either party, but maybe that's just because I prefer a straight answer to prevarication."

A compliment is sometimes given if you can feel that the other person if fragile and has faced many a rejection in the past.

‘Your not for me, sorry but I’m sure there will be someone as you are a really nice person’ for example

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don't do false compliments. Surely if you've chatted to someone there's always a real compliment you can pay?

In terms of rejection I'm not sure a compliment makes it any easier on either party, but maybe that's just because I prefer a straight answer to prevarication.

A compliment is sometimes given if you can feel that the other person if fragile and has faced many a rejection in the past.

‘Your not for me, sorry but I’m sure there will be someone as you are a really nice person’ for example "

If you like the person that's not false. Patronising but not false

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, just say it how it is.

No need for letting down gently as we can’t always be appealing to the person or persons we are aiming to attract.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't do false compliments. Surely if you've chatted to someone there's always a real compliment you can pay?

In terms of rejection I'm not sure a compliment makes it any easier on either party, but maybe that's just because I prefer a straight answer to prevarication.

A compliment is sometimes given if you can feel that the other person if fragile and has faced many a rejection in the past.

‘Your not for me, sorry but I’m sure there will be someone as you are a really nice person’ for example

If you like the person that's not false. Patronising but not false

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For me, just say it how it is.

No need for letting down gently as we can’t always be appealing to the person or persons we are aiming to attract. "

But we are nice people though.

Would you say no thanks you aren’t up to my standards?

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Nope. I’m very blunt. If I’ve ever thought there was ambiguity I’ve said something to clarify.

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By *heekyflickWoman
over a year ago

LINCOLN

You mean along the line of ...you're a great guy but just not for me?

I manage to talk people out of wanting to meet me sometimes lol

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Never, I’m very straight to the point never rude with it though x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You mean along the line of ...you're a great guy but just not for me?

I manage to talk people out of wanting to meet me sometimes lol"

Yes more along those lines.

How many times have you avoided a question about meeting?

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By *on-snowedMan
over a year ago

harlow

"Never, I’m very straight to the point never rude with it though x"

You certainly know what you want.

Its very sexy indeed xx

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By *ilent...BobMan
over a year ago

Shushhhhhhyourmouthville

Yes, but it's usually the wrong thing to do in my experience. I like to make people feel good and special (for them not me), but sometimes that makes it difficult to tell them they're not right

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes, but it's usually the wrong thing to do in my experience. I like to make people feel good and special (for them not me), but sometimes that makes it difficult to tell them they're not right

This is kinda what I was getting at. Not wanting to upset someone but also not leading them on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me, just say it how it is.

No need for letting down gently as we can’t always be appealing to the person or persons we are aiming to attract.

But we are nice people though.

Would you say no thanks you aren’t up to my standards?

Yes as said I would be honest. I wouldn’t rub salt in the wounds by being insulting, but be honest not to lead them on.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I'm not a blunt person even when people deserve bluntness but I don't give false compliments either especially when people are fishing for them.

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By *handlerMonicaCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Never given a false compliment, but there are many different ways to tell the truth, so always try and find a nice way.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

[Removed by poster at 15/08/21 20:05:27]

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

No I wouldn’t bullshit, no hollow compliments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No sugar-coated shit here, If you get a compliment off me then it is genuine.

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

Initially on here I found it hard and skirted around the truth so as not to upset or offend … now I say it as it is x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No if I compliment it’s sincere x

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

Nope.

If we’re not interested we’ll politely say no thanks. No need for a false compliment.

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By *tue555Man
over a year ago

Passed Beyond Reach

But we are nice people though.

I'm not a nice person think I'm on most people hate list not hot list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Owww I swerve and struggle with the blunt/direct response..

So for example.. chatting and then you get their face pic… they are a nice person but no attraction..

So I do the polite.. I’m chatting to a few atm & can’t commit to meeting anyone new spiel.. it’s a cop out I know but I struggle to do the superficial now I’ve seen you I realise you are not for me conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see no point in giving out false compliments because some people just need a straight no. Especially on a site like this. I've done the 'polite no' thing before and honestly you end up having to explain yourself.

Or they keep pushing in the hope you'll make an exception

as selfish as it may sound I'm here for me. Not for strangers I'll probably never meet.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I told someone I met for a social that I just wasn't feeling it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok we’ve all seen and done the hotlist threads.

Now it’s time to ‘fess up to something more sinister.

No need to name names but have you ever given a false compliment to someone else because you actually like them but they just aren’t for meeting and you wanted to let them down gently???

Remember boys and girls play nicely

Do you mean something like...you are very nice but not for me?

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"I told someone I met for a social that I just wasn't feeling it. "

Several times for me and once on the receiving end. "It was nice chatting with you but there isn't enough chemistry for me to take it further".

I was once asked for a face photo, only to be told "if you ever see me in a club feel free to say hi".

Better that than just leaving me hanging, not knowing whether to keep messaging or walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I told someone I met for a social that I just wasn't feeling it. "
I'd say that's bring honest. Especially on a social...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see no point in giving out false compliments because some people just need a straight no. Especially on a site like this. I've done the 'polite no' thing before and honestly you end up having to explain yourself.

Or they keep pushing in the hope you'll make an exception

as selfish as it may sound I'm here for me. Not for strangers I'll probably never meet. "

So true!!! Being nice doesn’t work on here.

“Sorry, you’re too far away but take care” - it’s ok, I’ll travel.

“I prefer guys quite a bit older than you” - I’m mature and look older, I love older women.

“I’m not looking to meet at the moment, sorry” - we can just get the know each other then and meet in the future.

Etc etc etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or they keep pushing in the hope you'll make an exception

as selfish as it may sound I'm here for me. Not for strangers I'll probably never meet.

So true!!! Being nice doesn’t work on here.

“Sorry, you’re too far away but take care” - it’s ok, I’ll travel.

“I prefer guys quite a bit older than you” - I’m mature and look older, I love older women.

“I’m not looking to meet at the moment, sorry” - we can just get the know each other then and meet in the future.

Etc etc etc "

What's that, you're only looking for women? *Grabs knife* needs must I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or they keep pushing in the hope you'll make an exception

as selfish as it may sound I'm here for me. Not for strangers I'll probably never meet.

So true!!! Being nice doesn’t work on here.

“Sorry, you’re too far away but take care” - it’s ok, I’ll travel.

“I prefer guys quite a bit older than you” - I’m mature and look older, I love older women.

“I’m not looking to meet at the moment, sorry” - we can just get the know each other then and meet in the future.

Etc etc etc "

You're not my type - I can get a facelift

No - I think you have a typo ...

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Not false compliments but I went on a date once and told the guy afterwards what I liked about him but also why I didn't want to go on a 2nd date.

He mocked me for making it sound like job interview feedback.

Lesson learned: don't try to be nice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or they keep pushing in the hope you'll make an exception

as selfish as it may sound I'm here for me. Not for strangers I'll probably never meet.

So true!!! Being nice doesn’t work on here.

“Sorry, you’re too far away but take care” - it’s ok, I’ll travel.

“I prefer guys quite a bit older than you” - I’m mature and look older, I love older women.

“I’m not looking to meet at the moment, sorry” - we can just get the know each other then and meet in the future.

Etc etc etc

What's that, you're only looking for women? *Grabs knife* needs must I guess"

Hahaha exactly

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"Owww I swerve and struggle with the blunt/direct response..

So for example.. chatting and then you get their face pic… they are a nice person but no attraction..

Same here, I can't do it, I'll find a bumbling way round it without being blunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or they keep pushing in the hope you'll make an exception

as selfish as it may sound I'm here for me. Not for strangers I'll probably never meet.

So true!!! Being nice doesn’t work on here.

“Sorry, you’re too far away but take care” - it’s ok, I’ll travel.

“I prefer guys quite a bit older than you” - I’m mature and look older, I love older women.

“I’m not looking to meet at the moment, sorry” - we can just get the know each other then and meet in the future.

Etc etc etc "

Yes! You end up going around in circles, better to be upfront.. its possible to be upfront without being rude

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I don't say anything I don't mean. Would never give a false compliment just for the sake of it. We are all supposed to be adults.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why must a compliment be false just because I don't want to have sex with someone? Why can't I like someone's muscles and tell them that, but still say they aren't otherwise my type? Why can't i compliment their personality, or fun vibe, or their hair, photography skills etc?

I don't give false compliments, but I do give compliments as I think they make people smile and the world can be miserable at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why must a compliment be false just because I don't want to have sex with someone? Why can't I like someone's muscles and tell them that, but still say they aren't otherwise my type? Why can't i compliment their personality, or fun vibe, or their hair, photography skills etc?

I don't give false compliments, but I do give compliments as I think they make people smile and the world can be miserable at times."

What she said ^

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't give false compliments, but I do give compliments as I think they make people smile and the world can be miserable at times."

I love this ^^^^

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By *ic_khan2341Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"Why must we always play nicely

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Or they keep pushing in the hope you'll make an exception

as selfish as it may sound I'm here for me. Not for strangers I'll probably never meet.

So true!!! Being nice doesn’t work on here.

“Sorry, you’re too far away but take care” - it’s ok, I’ll travel.

“I prefer guys quite a bit older than you” - I’m mature and look older, I love older women.

“I’m not looking to meet at the moment, sorry” - we can just get the know each other then and meet in the future.

Etc etc etc "

I had one like that today, told him he was too big for me. He said we could just have a mutual play, I said no twice, he told me not to be so boring. Worrying really when people can't take no for and answer!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No but I recon it’s been done to me lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Or they keep pushing in the hope you'll make an exception

as selfish as it may sound I'm here for me. Not for strangers I'll probably never meet.

So true!!! Being nice doesn’t work on here.

“Sorry, you’re too far away but take care” - it’s ok, I’ll travel.

“I prefer guys quite a bit older than you” - I’m mature and look older, I love older women.

“I’m not looking to meet at the moment, sorry” - we can just get the know each other then and meet in the future.

Etc etc etc

At least he didn’t offer to cut some off

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Or they keep pushing in the hope you'll make an exception

as selfish as it may sound I'm here for me. Not for strangers I'll probably never meet.

So true!!! Being nice doesn’t work on here.

“Sorry, you’re too far away but take care” - it’s ok, I’ll travel.

“I prefer guys quite a bit older than you” - I’m mature and look older, I love older women.

“I’m not looking to meet at the moment, sorry” - we can just get the know each other then and meet in the future.

Etc etc etc

At least he didn’t offer to cut some off

I nearly offered for him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Or they keep pushing in the hope you'll make an exception

as selfish as it may sound I'm here for me. Not for strangers I'll probably never meet.

So true!!! Being nice doesn’t work on here.

“Sorry, you’re too far away but take care” - it’s ok, I’ll travel.

“I prefer guys quite a bit older than you” - I’m mature and look older, I love older women.

“I’m not looking to meet at the moment, sorry” - we can just get the know each other then and meet in the future.

Etc etc etc

At least he didn’t offer to cut some off

I nearly offered for him

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