FabSwingers.com forum: Kink / Fetish

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A two pronged thread here, aimed at both ends of the spectrum (and all those in between)

So, firstly for the 'nilla' folks out there...

Do you ever think it would be nice to have a kink or a fetish?

See, I don't think I have any

I mean I like certain things, but I don't really have a 'thing'

I can't help but think it would add a new dimension, but I also know me and my inability to let go of myself

---

Secondly, to the kinksters...

Do you ever think your kink(s) or fetish(es) are too much?

Do you 'need' them to be part of sex? Are they ever a bind? (pun totally intended)

Do you ever wish you were more vanilla?

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By *amalusMan
over a year ago

Tullamore

As a kinkster...

No, why would I, they are part of who I am.

Needing something for sexual gratification would be a fetish, of which I have none, that I've discovered, and I'm fully capable of enjoying vanilla sex

Hell no, why would I, it's given me a vast new avenue to explore and express myself, I wish I had realised just how kinky I am sooner than I did!

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

You need to remember kink and fetish are different.

A fetish is where something is needed for sexual satisfaction and typically that thing is not normally associated with sex, e.g.: leather, rubber, feet etc.

A kink is where you like something to be involved but its not needed for sexual satisfaction, e.g.: bondage, impact etc.

So while we have lots of kinks, some may be considered extreme, we have no fetishes.

As such we can vary what we do during meets, so can be as vanilla or not as the meet dictates.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I'm very 'nilla when it comes to having sex, I like to be comfortable, in bed, all the normal stuff, I don't want anything weird done to me.

But, I also like to Domme/Mistress and that doesn't usually involve anything sexual (for me) so I like CP, CBT, CFNM... I just get a kick out of the role reversal/power exchange.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As a kinkster...

No, why would I, they are part of who I am.

Needing something for sexual gratification would be a fetish, of which I have none, that I've discovered, and I'm fully capable of enjoying vanilla sex

Hell no, why would I, it's given me a vast new avenue to explore and express myself, I wish I had realised just how kinky I am sooner than I did!"

Found out sooner?

You're 24!

I was still figuring out what to put where at that age

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’m a bit like you in that I don’t think I have a specific kink.

I’m quite game in that I’ve tried a lot of kink based things but none of them have proved moreish, just “done that, what’s next” sort of thing. I’ve never felt I’ve missed out on partners or fun because of my lack of kink needs. I feel like there is a wider selection of sexual partners open to me which is more freeing because I don’t have a specific need that has to be met by someone into that to get me off.

If that makes sense?

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I’m a kinkster and have known that from a young age. I’m more than happy playing vanilla but am generally more attracted to like minded folk. I’ve only ever had one wobble and that was just because of a negative experience, but on the whole no I wouldn’t want to be any other way

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You need to remember kink and fetish are different.

A fetish is where something is needed for sexual satisfaction and typically that thing is not normally associated with sex, e.g.: leather, rubber, feet etc.

A kink is where you like something to be involved but its not needed for sexual satisfaction, e.g.: bondage, impact etc.

So while we have lots of kinks, some may be considered extreme, we have no fetishes.

As such we can vary what we do during meets, so can be as vanilla or not as the meet dictates."

See, this is, I feel, a nice position to be in

I am kinda Fab jealous of your ability to have that flexibility in your sex life

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m a kinkster and have known that from a young age. I’m more than happy playing vanilla but am generally more attracted to like minded folk. I’ve only ever had one wobble and that was just because of a negative experience, but on the whole no I wouldn’t want to be any other way

I've seen your paddle

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm very 'nilla when it comes to having sex, I like to be comfortable, in bed, all the normal stuff, I don't want anything weird done to me.

But, I also like to Domme/Mistress and that doesn't usually involve anything sexual (for me) so I like CP, CBT, CFNM... I just get a kick out of the role reversal/power exchange."

My ex Mrs played domme once in a CFNM scenario

Alas, it was just her in a hotel corridor saying 'get back in this fkin room' after I got a bit too pissed and went for a naked sleep walk

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m a bit like you in that I don’t think I have a specific kink.

If that makes sense? "

It does

I think I'm just unimaginative and find humour in things I perhaps shouldn't

Blarting laughing at someone who is doing their best at talking dirty / being dominant for example; not a good move

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By *amalusMan
over a year ago

Tullamore

"As a kinkster...

No, why would I, they are part of who I am.

Needing something for sexual gratification would be a fetish, of which I have none, that I've discovered, and I'm fully capable of enjoying vanilla sex

Hell no, why would I, it's given me a vast new avenue to explore and express myself, I wish I had realised just how kinky I am sooner than I did!

Found out sooner?

You're 24!

I was still figuring out what to put where at that age

I guess I just wish I had more experience and first hand knowledge than I do know! A lot of people I know in the Irish kink scene that are around my age have been into it since they were 18, some even longer!

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Nah I've just got kinks. So things I like but they're not the be all and end all.

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By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"You need to remember kink and fetish are different.

A fetish is where something is needed for sexual satisfaction and typically that thing is not normally associated with sex, e.g.: leather, rubber, feet etc.

A kink is where you like something to be involved but its not needed for sexual satisfaction, e.g.: bondage, impact etc.

So while we have lots of kinks, some may be considered extreme, we have no fetishes.

As such we can vary what we do during meets, so can be as vanilla or not as the meet dictates."

I've never really thought of that before. People have asked me my kinks and fetishes and I've never really differentiated the two

To answer the OP's question. I don't think my kinks are too much as it's where I'm most comfortable. Others would disagree but they're not theirs there mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd love a kink. I think I'll go for biscuits.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd love a kink. I think I'll go for biscuits."

Question is Jim, are you gonna start off easy with a rich tea or a digestive or are you gonna go big with a fully covered choccy hobnob?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I absolutely love my kink, and I really get off on it, and in the dynamic I’m in, it really works for both of us, but I can do ‘nilla, I choose not to

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"I absolutely love my kink, and I really get off on it, and in the dynamic I’m in, it really works for both of us, but I can do ‘nilla, I choose not to

You can’t call me kink

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Nope I’m a kinky bitch and I love it!

The restraint, the power exchange, the impact play, the submission of myself to another it’s all in how the mind is stimulated by a cutting off of a sense, a blindfold slipped over the eyes, a collar gripping your neck, a sudden pull on a chain..

Personally my kinks heighten the experience, they make me feel sexy and vulnerable at the same time, there’s a rush it gives me like no other

That said these things are not a requirement they are simply things I enjoy when the dynamic is shared and the trust of another is there

I never wish to be anything but me so hell no to being more vanilla!

I’m having a ball as I am

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By *hat BlokeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

It’s kind of like saying “i eat fish and chips. I will eat other stuff but fish and chips is just fine”. There are a whole range of dishes and flavours to explore. Some will wow you, others you will think are eugh! I think the secret to kink (as with most things) is the willingness to explore. Not to turn away in flat refusal. Keep yourself open to new experiences. Obviously that being said, there are some extremely dangerous kinks and fetishes out there as well as the downright weird. If a kink has the opposite effect of turning you on, I would leave that one be.

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By *randMrsCambridgeCouple
over a year ago

Stansted (Herts/Essex)

"Nope I’m a kinky bitch and I love it!

Personally my kinks heighten the experience, they make me feel sexy and vulnerable at the same time, there’s a rush it gives me like no other

That said these things are not a requirement they are simply things I enjoy when the dynamic is shared and the trust of another is there

I never wish to be anything but me so hell no to being more vanilla!

I’m having a ball as I am

xx"

You’ve perfectly articulated what we feel. Thank you x

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I have my kinks of which I have many. And they all are a part of my psyche. They make me who I am and feel fulfilled.

However, do I like vanilla still yes I flipping well do. Is there anything better than lazy Sunday morning sex or cuddles on a sofa that leads to more?

To me it's not about being either a kinky or a vanilla person, I am both. Just depends on which itch we want to scratch.

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

I don't have a specific kink but love loads of kinks. I enjoy rope play, restraints, impact play and I love the kinky outfits.

I don't have fetishes though and I like kinky play as part of sex.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nope I’m a kinky bitch and I love it!

Personally my kinks heighten the experience, they make me feel sexy and vulnerable at the same time, there’s a rush it gives me like no other

That said these things are not a requirement they are simply things I enjoy when the dynamic is shared and the trust of another is there

I never wish to be anything but me so hell no to being more vanilla!

I’m having a ball as I am

xx"

I like this

Even though it makes me feel boring as hell

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have my kinks of which I have many. And they all are a part of my psyche. They make me who I am and feel fulfilled.

However, do I like vanilla still yes I flipping well do. Is there anything better than lazy Sunday morning sex or cuddles on a sofa that leads to more?

To me it's not about being either a kinky or a vanilla person, I am both. Just depends on which itch we want to scratch.

Lazy Sunday sex is my sex life

I think it's important to have found someone that likes it too

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

What things do you like Bussy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What things do you like Bussy"

In the context of this site and some of the posts above, very little

There are two things that I feel hold me back sexually

Firstly, I am very definite

I like things to be definite

My brain doesn't allow for romance or fantasy. It is alien to me. I find it awkward.

Secondly, and I think linked to point 1, is I need to be in control at all times

I am not controlling of others, but I am of myself.

There is no waiver

I am rarely excited, I rarely let go / let my hair down

Physically, it manifests itself too

I can't stand the weight of another body on mine - my mind instantly flips into panic mode

Even being cuddled I don't like

I have to be the cuddler not the cuddled

So the idea of someone else being in control sexually (either physically or mentally) just doesn't work

By the same token, I am not naturally dominant, so me taking control of another also doesn't equate

As a result, the recreational sex I have is usually (relatively) anonymous, definitely no strings, quick, frantic, instantly gratifying yet, longer term, a feeling of nothing

I'm not ashamed by it

I also know I am not on my own in it

I just feel that, at times, I wish I was more able to let go, explore more mental stimulation and less physical, get enjoyment from the shared experience with others

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I quite like feet.

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By *ICK47Man
over a year ago

banbury

That's good as I had the thought that wearing women's lingerie and dresses was a fetishism but actually it's just a kink,I love sex just as much when not dressed in Lingerie.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We both enjoy a BDSM scenario - we crave it when we haven’t had one for a while.

C loves being blindfolded, restrained, spanked, being controlled…I love being in control and playing with her mind/senses.

Whilst some aspects fall into our normal sex sessions, we crave a full session blowout.

It’s just another part of sex that we enjoy.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"Nope I’m a kinky bitch and I love it!

Personally my kinks heighten the experience, they make me feel sexy and vulnerable at the same time, there’s a rush it gives me like no other

That said these things are not a requirement they are simply things I enjoy when the dynamic is shared and the trust of another is there

I never wish to be anything but me so hell no to being more vanilla!

I’m having a ball as I am

xx"

This is it!! C comes alive when she’s being submissive, you can see her grow and become sexier, which powers through me then. I feed off her power…it becomes fully charged very quickly

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