FabSwingers.com forum: Another Moral Dilemma

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Telling a Secret:

Your best friend tells you that they committed a crime. They explain that they are having trouble sleeping at night and feel you are the only one they can trust with their confession. A few days later, you read in the paper that someone has been arrested for your friend’s crime.

Do you:

A: Go to the police and tell them what you know?

B: Encourage your friend to confess and warn him if he does not do so, you will tell?

C: Say nothing because you will not betray a friend’s confidence?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d push for B …… but wouldn’t tell on them at the end of the day they have to live with it xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whys it a him haha un conscious bias???? haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m going for B I think.

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By *egoMan
over a year ago

Preston

B, I’ll support friends but no one else should suffer for their mistakes.

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"whys it a him haha un conscious bias???? haha"

It was supposed to say them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would depend on the crime murder etc then thats different than petty vandalism etc even though both wrong of course

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

If I chose B my friend may murder me.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

B, followed up be A if they don’t do the right thing…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Option X:

I'd black male my friend for £50,000 to stop me going to the police.

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

A: Go to the police and tell them what you know?

B: Encourage your friend to confess and warn him if he does not do so, you will tell?

C: Say nothing because you will not betray a friend’s confidence?"

D: Tell your friend it is going to cost them £5k for you to keep your mouth shut

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By *021leedscoupleCouple
over a year ago

leeds

Snitches get stitches. Stay quiet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A: Go to the police and tell them what you know?

B: Encourage your friend to confess and warn him if he does not do so, you will tell?

C: Say nothing because you will not betray a friend’s confidence?

D: Tell your friend it is going to cost them £5k for you to keep your mouth shut

You've got a transit van full of rope and duct tape haven't you.

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By *eardybobMan
over a year ago

the Goldilocks Zone

Asking for a friend?

Hmmmm... could be a test by your friend...

None of the above - how about anonymously tipping off the police that you have reason to suspect that they have arrested the wrong person, and are engaging in a miscarriage of justice... suggesting perhaps that they should review their evidence.

Or B...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Snitches get stitches. Stay quiet. "

If you don't make a stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

All it takes for evil to win is for good people to do nothing.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'd tell them to go to the police and offer to drive them. It wouldn't inconvenience me because I'd be going to tell them anyway.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I’d tell them to fess up in a very short time scale before I reported them. So B then A. Which goes against all my morals which scream A.

J x

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By *ripodius WillyusMan
over a year ago

Here and there

B and would tell cops because an innocent person could be jailed my moral compass quite high on this type of thing.

But as hypothetical does not matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d tell them to fess up in a very short time scale before I reported them. So B then A. Which goes against all my morals which scream A.

J x"

Same here. Although depending on the crime I might go straight to A.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Snitches get stitches. Stay quiet.

If you don't make a stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

All it takes for evil to win is for good people to do nothing."

Absolutely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they’re my best friend I’m going option C

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"I’d tell them to fess up in a very short time scale before I reported them. So B then A. Which goes against all my morals which scream A.

J x

Same here. Although depending on the crime I might go straight to A. "

Hand on heart I know my best friends would never put me in that situation - they know I know a lot of police officers…..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they’re my best friend I’m going option C"

Would the crime they confessed to make a difference?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d tell them to fess up in a very short time scale before I reported them. So B then A. Which goes against all my morals which scream A.

J x

Same here. Although depending on the crime I might go straight to A.

Hand on heart I know my best friends would never put me in that situation - they know I know a lot of police officers….. "

My thinkin is if it was a friend they would know my stance on this so the chances are they would want me to convince them to confess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Telling a Secret:

Do you:

A: Go to the police and tell them what you know?

B: Encourage your friend to confess and warn him if he does not do so, you will tell?

C: Say nothing because you will not betray a friend’s confidence?"

I’d go for B unless it’s my twin who done then it’d be a C but she’s the only exception

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

Help him dispose of the body.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Help him dispose of the body."

I was literally writing this. I’d probably be the one helping get rid of the facts then we’d be done both in lol

So long as we are in the same cells s’all good

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

It would not have got that far because the moment they told me we would have gone to the police.

I am actually shocked to find out that there is no legal obligation to report a crime, even as a first hand witness.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"Telling a Secret:

Do you:

A: Go to the police and tell them what you know?

B: Encourage your friend to confess and warn him if he does not do so, you will tell?

C: Say nothing because you will not betray a friend’s confidence?

I’d go for B unless it’s my twin who done then it’d be a C but she’s the only exception "

I wonder how close your DNA is? What if you’re were arrested for their crime?

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would not have got that far because the moment they told me we would have gone to the police.

I am actually shocked to find out that there is no legal obligation to report a crime, even as a first hand witness. "

Is there not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Telling a Secret:

Do you:

A: Go to the police and tell them what you know?

B: Encourage your friend to confess and warn him if he does not do so, you will tell?

C: Say nothing because you will not betray a friend’s confidence?"

I’m shooting for B to A. My thoughts are surely the police should be able to find the culprit. But given you know of the crime you’re officially a PIC so in your interest it’s best to go B then A.

Sparkle what hypothetical crime are we talking?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they’re my best friend I’m going option C

Would the crime they confessed to make a difference?"

I don’t think so, had this discussion with my best friend before as we always come up with what would you do scenarios

But no it wouldn’t matter what the crime was if it was my best friend

Different answer for just friends or even close friends though

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If they’re my best friend I’m going option C

Would the crime they confessed to make a difference?

I don’t think so, had this discussion with my best friend before as we always come up with what would you do scenarios

But no it wouldn’t matter what the crime was if it was my best friend

Different answer for just friends or even close friends though "

Genuinely any crime you'd let another person take the rap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Telling a Secret:

Do you:

A: Go to the police and tell them what you know?

B: Encourage your friend to confess and warn him if he does not do so, you will tell?

C: Say nothing because you will not betray a friend’s confidence?

I’d go for B unless it’s my twin who done then it’d be a C but she’s the only exception

I wonder how close your DNA is? What if you’re were arrested for their crime?

J x"

I called her my twin, because we literally have the same brain and she’s my BFF/soulmate . She’s not literally my twin lol

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

Why in the hell would your friend lay such a burden on you.

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"It would not have got that far because the moment they told me we would have gone to the police.

I am actually shocked to find out that there is no legal obligation to report a crime, even as a first hand witness.

Is there not?

Apparently not. CPS website says:

If you witness a crime you have a vital role to play in bringing the criminals to justice. You may well be feeling upset and have doubts about reporting what you have seen. There is no legal obligation to contact the police, but the information you give them could bring a criminal to justice.

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

"Help him dispose of the body.

I was literally writing this. I’d probably be the one helping get rid of the facts then we’d be done both in lol

So long as we are in the same cells s’all good

I think it's a proper measure of friendship.

What would they do if you knocked on their door in the middle of the night with a body in the boot of your car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d push for B …… but wouldn’t tell on them at the end of the day they have to live with it xx"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would not have got that far because the moment they told me we would have gone to the police.

I am actually shocked to find out that there is no legal obligation to report a crime, even as a first hand witness.

Is there not?

Apparently not. CPS website says:

So you can't be done for withholding evidence or impeding an investigation? I'm really shocked by this.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"Telling a Secret:

Do you:

A: Go to the police and tell them what you know?

B: Encourage your friend to confess and warn him if he does not do so, you will tell?

C: Say nothing because you will not betray a friend’s confidence?

I’d go for B unless it’s my twin who done then it’d be a C but she’s the only exception

I wonder how close your DNA is? What if you’re were arrested for their crime?

J x

I called her my twin, because we literally have the same brain and she’s my BFF/soulmate . She’s not literally my twin lol "

Damn, I was genuinely interested! I have identical twin nieces - will ask them when I see them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they’re my best friend I’m going option C

Would the crime they confessed to make a difference?

I don’t think so, had this discussion with my best friend before as we always come up with what would you do scenarios

But no it wouldn’t matter what the crime was if it was my best friend

Different answer for just friends or even close friends though

Genuinely any crime you'd let another person take the rap

Well just because they are arrested for it doesn’t mean they will be sentenced for it and I’d make them aware that someone else had been arrested for it but I wouldn’t sell them out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Telling a Secret:

Do you:

A: Go to the police and tell them what you know?

B: Encourage your friend to confess and warn him if he does not do so, you will tell?

C: Say nothing because you will not betray a friend’s confidence?

I’d go for B unless it’s my twin who done then it’d be a C but she’s the only exception

I wonder how close your DNA is? What if you’re were arrested for their crime?

J x

I called her my twin, because we literally have the same brain and she’s my BFF/soulmate . She’s not literally my twin lol

Damn, I was genuinely interested! I have identical twin nieces - will ask them when I see them x "

I saw an episode of law and order special victims unit where they had convicted the wrong twin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they’re my best friend I’m going option C

Would the crime they confessed to make a difference?

I don’t think so, had this discussion with my best friend before as we always come up with what would you do scenarios

But no it wouldn’t matter what the crime was if it was my best friend

Different answer for just friends or even close friends though

Genuinely any crime you'd let another person take the rap

Well just because they are arrested for it doesn’t mean they will be sentenced for it and I’d make them aware that someone else had been arrested for it but I wouldn’t sell them out "

I find really interesting that the type of crime wouldn't make a difference.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If they’re my best friend I’m going option C

Would the crime they confessed to make a difference?

I don’t think so, had this discussion with my best friend before as we always come up with what would you do scenarios

But no it wouldn’t matter what the crime was if it was my best friend

Different answer for just friends or even close friends though

Genuinely any crime you'd let another person take the rap

Well just because they are arrested for it doesn’t mean they will be sentenced for it and I’d make them aware that someone else had been arrested for it but I wouldn’t sell them out "

Fair enough. Would you feel differently if the crime had been committed against someone you loved?

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

My best friend is a Police officer so Know I won’t be put in that position but other friends then B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely B

I’d hope none of my mates Would want to put me in that position though. I’d hope they gave the moral compass to own up if someone got accused of their crime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they’re my best friend I’m going option C

Would the crime they confessed to make a difference?

I don’t think so, had this discussion with my best friend before as we always come up with what would you do scenarios

But no it wouldn’t matter what the crime was if it was my best friend

Different answer for just friends or even close friends though

Genuinely any crime you'd let another person take the rap

Well just because they are arrested for it doesn’t mean they will be sentenced for it and I’d make them aware that someone else had been arrested for it but I wouldn’t sell them out

Fair enough. Would you feel differently if the crime had been committed against someone you loved?"

Yeah that would be a lot different (but again would be a conversation about what happened first)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has to be answer B, it's not fair for someone to take the rap for somebody else.

By telling the friend you aren't breaking a confidence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they’re my best friend I’m going option C

Would the crime they confessed to make a difference?

I don’t think so, had this discussion with my best friend before as we always come up with what would you do scenarios

But no it wouldn’t matter what the crime was if it was my best friend

Different answer for just friends or even close friends though

Genuinely any crime you'd let another person take the rap

Well just because they are arrested for it doesn’t mean they will be sentenced for it and I’d make them aware that someone else had been arrested for it but I wouldn’t sell them out

I find really interesting that the type of crime wouldn't make a difference. "

Sexual assault would be one crime that would change that answer thinking about it

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I honestly don’t know. To me this is one of those things that unless I’m in that situation it’s impossible to answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"B, I’ll support friends but no one else should suffer for their mistakes.

This for me also

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By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I love to see how people think re these threads, thanks for taking part x

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I don't honestly know; I think it would depend on the crime and the person who has been arrested for it.

I'd like to think B: I'll support them in confessing but I'll inform the police if they don't. I'm just not sure that would be the chosen option in every single possible scenario.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't matter what your friend does as your in trouble too as your concealing the crime from the police by knowing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a tough one and certain things could influence my answer, but probably b.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would stand by my friend 100 percent and try and convince them to do the right thing in confessing but I would NEVER go behind their back. I would never break their trust and everything is always confidential with me, over the years I have had many people come to me for this reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends ...

I'm thinking if my friend can't sleep anyway, knowing someone is going down for it may mean they will confess anyway ...

I'd also think the other person will likely get released ...

... If it was looking reaaallly like a trial, hmmmm

Probably b.

What's the crime ?

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By *ohnny4playMan
over a year ago

Kinross

Option D tell anonymous tell both police and press you know who did it and it is not the person charged.

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By *ing-VoyeurMan
over a year ago

london

"I would stand by my friend 100 percent and try and convince them to do the right thing in confessing but I would NEVER go behind their back. I would never break their trust and everything is always confidential with me, over the years I have had many people come to me for this reason.

"
I love this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I honestly don’t know. To me this is one of those things that unless I’m in that situation it’s impossible to answer. "

I’m the same on that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends what the crime was....

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

B. Encourage the friend to tell the police, because an innocent person is on the hook for their misdemeanour. That person has friends, family, dependents, who love them and yet my "so-called friend" is hanging out an innocent person to dry. They have also made me complicit in perverting the course of justice. So they are not really a friend anymore. Just a criminal and an abuser.

It's absolutely honourable to carry someone's confidences. But the moment there is a serious legal ramification to that silence, your friend is no longer your friend. They are asking you to function under Mafia rules of Omerta. Friends don't do that. That compromises you honour, allowing you to release your honour and assign it elsewhere. Eg, to the innocent party.

You cannot be honourable to a criminal. You cannot maintain honour when asked to do a dishonourable thing.

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