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Polyamory?

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By *uncouple31 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

So me and the hubby have been on and off this site for many years now and always have trouble finding the type of relationship we really want. For us there has to be a major connection and friendship. We are starting to wonder if maybe we are looking in the right place.

I just wondered if any of you lovely peeps have experience of polyamory and how you found it ? Also how did you find like minded people and initiate your first relationship etc

I know this is a swingers site and sex based but please don't abuse us for asking a question (bit sick of that now )

Looking forward to reading your responses x Thx G&A xx

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By *evilWoman16Woman
over a year ago

Neath,united kingdom

I've been Poly since 2015 when I got with my husband. For us,we weren't meant to be eith just one person forever. We talked about it alot,made sure we communicated our feelings etc. I met my boyfriend in 2018 through swinging and fell in love. Been together ever since.

It's hard work,and you have to be able communicat well.

Splitting your time is important ,but also making sure you have your alone time is vital!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Your question belongs on a swingers site.

Swinging can be about sex and shove off or it can be about being with people who are relaxed enough about sex to include it in their leisure patterns without making moral judgement.

There is nothing strange about you wanting to have something in common with any couple you spend your leisure time with - that's pretty standard i'd say ...

The problem is ..... It's bad enough finding ONE person you can get along with let alone FOUR or more all agreeing about every aspect or being available at the same time or having the same disposable income or living in the same area...... etc etc

I hope you have great success.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Apols ...... you didn't mention structure and I assumed a foursome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I misread this for balamory .. ... damn ...

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I have as a couple and single. As a couple we only met full swap separate room couples, they were more likely also poly, less insecurities and the conversations were easier and so often became regular lovers and friends.

As mentioned above , splitting time is vital but also splitting feelings, for me types of feelings shouldn’t overlap between people

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

You shouldn't be abused for asking questions OP, polyamory is a fascinating subject and there are a few of us on the forums who are poly. A swinging site is a valid a place as any for that dynamic to develop.

I'd always thought I might be poly, I have a huge capacity for love and care deeply for friends. It wasn't until the beginning of last year that I accepted I was at which point my partner and I had very frank and open discussions about it. My love for him could never be altered by how I feel about another.

Anyway, I wasn't looking for it, (I wasn't looking to meet any men for that matter!) but it happened. Sadly it became rather unhealthy and things ended but I'm happy being poly - I'm very fortunate to have such an understanding fiancé.

Things can develop organically on here. There's a good polyam community on Twitter, very welcoming and friendly. It doesn't mean I'm actively seeking new partners but I wouldn't close myself off to it if that makes sense?

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By *evilWoman16Woman
over a year ago

Neath,united kingdom


"You shouldn't be abused for asking questions OP, polyamory is a fascinating subject and there are a few of us on the forums who are poly. A swinging site is a valid a place as any for that dynamic to develop.

I'd always thought I might be poly, I have a huge capacity for love and care deeply for friends. It wasn't until the beginning of last year that I accepted I was at which point my partner and I had very frank and open discussions about it. My love for him could never be altered by how I feel about another.

Anyway, I wasn't looking for it, (I wasn't looking to meet any men for that matter!) but it happened. Sadly it became rather unhealthy and things ended but I'm happy being poly - I'm very fortunate to have such an understanding fiancé.

Things can develop organically on here. There's a good polyam community on Twitter, very welcoming and friendly. It doesn't mean I'm actively seeking new partners but I wouldn't close myself off to it if that makes sense? "

Can I just say I have so much love for this response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My OH is pretty much in a poly relationship (If we assume poly doesn't mean everyone dating everyone).

I'm not looking for deep connections, but also don't feel full momogomy is right for me.

All I can say is be open and honest with everyone. In a mono relationship there's two interactions (as they are two way). With three, it's six, so a big step up. And while one person may not be in contact with the other, there is still a link.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Things can develop organically on here. There's a good polyam community on Twitter, very welcoming and friendly. It doesn't mean I'm actively seeking new partners but I wouldn't close myself off to it if that makes sense?

Can I just say I have so much love for this response."

Thank you! That's made me smile a lot, I enjoyed yours as well. It's nice reading about the experiences of others, the honesty is lovely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got a notification on news on my iPhone about poly love and how it’s on the rise…

I couldn’t seem to read it tho without being paying urgh

Super interested tho and open minded to know more as I feel like I couldn’t stick with one person, but also I struggle to deal with jealousy when I like someone .. (I know jealousy is totally on me to deal with but it doesn’t make me feel good so)

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By *uncouple31 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Walsall


"I've been Poly since 2015 when I got with my husband. For us,we weren't meant to be eith just one person forever. We talked about it alot,made sure we communicated our feelings etc. I met my boyfriend in 2018 through swinging and fell in love. Been together ever since.

It's hard work,and you have to be able communicat well.

Splitting your time is important ,but also making sure you have your alone time is vital!"

This is super helpful thank you for taking the time to respond x

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By *uncouple31 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

[Removed by poster at 11/08/21 13:08:05]

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By *uncouple31 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

Firstly thank you ! You are right about the struggle to find that one person or that couple that are happy to explore what we are looking for. I just wondered if we are in the right place as we have been ridiculed so much recently for wanting more than just a quick meet x

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By *uncouple31 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

More so a 3 but open to building relationships with like minded people x

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By *uncouple31 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

Hahaha what's the story?

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By *uncouple31 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Walsall


"I have as a couple and single. As a couple we only met full swap separate room couples, they were more likely also poly, less insecurities and the conversations were easier and so often became regular lovers and friends.

How do you mean types of feeling ? I am naturally a very caring and loving person and I do get attached to people we meet on a regular basis. I think that's inevitable really its just if we take that step to say yes poly is what we want or no somewhere in the middle is what we need. Hope that makes sense lol

As mentioned above , splitting time is vital but also splitting feelings, for me types of feelings shouldn’t overlap between people "

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By *uncouple31 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Walsall


"You shouldn't be abused for asking questions OP, polyamory is a fascinating subject and there are a few of us on the forums who are poly. A swinging site is a valid a place as any for that dynamic to develop.

I'd always thought I might be poly, I have a huge capacity for love and care deeply for friends. It wasn't until the beginning of last year that I accepted I was at which point my partner and I had very frank and open discussions about it. My love for him could never be altered by how I feel about another.

Anyway, I wasn't looking for it, (I wasn't looking to meet any men for that matter!) but it happened. Sadly it became rather unhealthy and things ended but I'm happy being poly - I'm very fortunate to have such an understanding fiancé.

Things can develop organically on here. There's a good polyam community on Twitter, very welcoming and friendly. It doesn't mean I'm actively seeking new partners but I wouldn't close myself off to it if that makes sense? "

This is exactly how I feel ! I think meeting regularly with people naturally opens you up to developing feelings and like you I am really loving and caring xx

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"Firstly thank you ! You are right about the struggle to find that one person or that couple that are happy to explore what we are looking for. I just wondered if we are in the right place as we have been ridiculed so much recently for wanting more than just a quick meet x "

You can be in the right place, but finding the right people can be tough.

There are some unique issues to deal with in a poly relationship but if you want it, you should absolutely do it. In fact not doing it is probably quite harmful to yourself.

Good luck

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

As to the right place, yes, I found such relationships here but I’m my humble experience it wasn’t something I or any partners went “looking” for. They were open relationships that naturally evolved mainly through candid and clear communication when it was clear there was love involved.

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