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Is it inevitable?

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough

If you've had the same fwb for a long time and you can talk to each other easily rather than just a shag and go, is it inevitable that you will fall for them?

Is it more likely for the woman to develop feelings rather than the man?

Should you stop seeing each other when feelings get involved or can it ever have a happy ending?

Can you tell that I'm bored and overthinking things

Just curious to see what everyone thinks

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Not necessarily if you're both clear on boundaries

I have one I've been seeing on and off for three years, we're just good friends who also enjoy sex with each other

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By *edantic SheilaWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"Not necessarily if you're both clear on boundaries

I have one I've been seeing on and off for three years, we're just good friends who also enjoy sex with each other "
This

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

No. Boundaries help a lot. I'm very fond of my FWB, it's been over three years, but we're good friends, no more.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I would say the nonsexual interaction is the difference between a FB &a FWB.

having feelings for someone you do personal with is natural.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I have a fwb who I've met at least once a year (he's a few hundred miles from me now but at one point it was every other day for a couple of years!) for almost a decade. It's safe to say I've never fallen for him, I doubt he has for me.

You can have really good friendship and sex and maybe love the person but not be in love with them? I'm not sure that makes sense. I don't think one gender is more predisposed to fall for another, you have open and honest communication, boundaries. That all helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you've had the same fwb for a long time and you can talk to each other easily rather than just a shag and go, is it inevitable that you will fall for them?

Is it more likely for the woman to develop feelings rather than the man?

Should you stop seeing each other when feelings get involved or can it ever have a happy ending?

Can you tell that I'm bored and overthinking things

Just curious to see what everyone thinks"

As others have said it’s comes down to setting boundaries but also being honest with each other and not ignoring any red flags that may come up on both sides

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough

A friend of mine (not on here and only ever slept with one guy) said that she can't understand how you can have sex with someone, cuddle and chat afterwards and not fall for them. It just got me thinking

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happened to me, hence why I now concentrate on one offs (even if I really like them and the sex is great), never want to be in that position again

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough


"Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy. "

They can make things very complicated if only one of you have feelings. That's why I stick with the rule of don't tell lol. Luckily it's only happened the once for me

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy. "

That ^

There are very different types of feelings. If you are poly, you tend not to get the needy / infatuation because you don’t rely on one person for everything or even someone to make you feel complete, you appreciate different things in different people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had two longterm life (not fab) fwbs one for 14 years and one for 8.5 years, even on fab I've had fwbs spanning years, of course we had feelings for each other otherwise it would never have worked! But at no point with any of them have I wanted a relationship nor them with me and as adults I'm sure all the feelings were dealt with honestly. I, personally, have never done all the "boundary" stuff either ... we just talk!

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds


"Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy. "

Totally agree, as with most things it's about communication and being honest with each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it's definitely a possibility to develop feelings in such a situation, I suppose its a good thing if the feelings turn out to be mutual

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

My FWB and I have seen each other for 30 years. He is my best male friend. Yes we obviously really care about one another but that's as far as it goes.

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By *estboi13Man
over a year ago

Around

As everyone else has said.. Set boundaries are what make it work really.

First thing I did before me and fwb started was set the boundaries and limits.

Now I have a good friend, laugh and fuck haha!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Not necessarily

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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

I had a Feb for many years, but we got to heavy and I had to end it as it was not fair on her. As she was living in hope that I was going to leave my partner and live with her. Anyone who has veiwed my profile will see that I'm caring for my partner so no way could I leave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally i believe there has to be some sort of feelings there else what is the point in bothering?

I would never have sex with someone I didn’t care for or have attraction or a bond with.

I would never just fuck and go and never see someone again. Chemistry and connection is so important for it to work.

I have a best friend and we have amazing sex, we are very close but he is single and happy and I’m in a long term relationship and happy. We are both open and honest towards each other about everything.

So yes it does work.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy. "

I agree with this.

Feelings seem to be a taboo thing on here. I’ve had feelings for everyone I’ve met and vice versa. It’s inevitable if you only meet pretty long term like I have. I really do think it depends what kind of person you are and how you handle it though. I’ve always known what I want and don’t want and I can easily separate. Nothing will ever make me want a proper relationship with anyone. You can still have feelings and fun without that though in my opinion anyway x

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I think one big thing is that affection is often confused for feelings and imo they are totally separate things . I give affection and it's great if it's reciprocated . That isn't feelings , it's caring for a good friend with added benefits.

Just my outlook anyway

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

My personal opinion of that it's very rare fir fbs or fwbs to have an equal relationship in terms of how they feel about each other. One of them always feels more strongly than the other even if they don't say so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No... Before getting into things with my fwb, I told him I would love him but never be in love with him... I wasn't looking for anything committed nor exclusive.. Luckily he gets it and is the same... We have been seeing each other for almost 5 years and lived together for almost half of that now... We both get that, despite being with eachother alot and missing each other when not so, emotional attachment is not the same as being in love with someone. Tbf I was lucky to find him as others really don't seem to get it, at all!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I think it makes it easier for feelings to creep in. Cuddled up, sharing intimate details, shit hot sex, it makes you a bit vulnerable, and then maybe you start looking at his strong chin and thinking “hmmmm” and then he tells you stuff that is hilarious. Who doesn’t love a funny guy? If he makes you a bacon sandwich then yes, definitely makes the feels creep in!

But then is that so bad? I mean if he’s married or not single or lives in Australia for 11 months of the year then it’s not the ideal situation. But life happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s only happened to me once and told myself it won’t ever happen again

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough


"It’s only happened to me once and told myself it won’t ever happen again "

I'm still sleeping with my once unfortunately

He told me before that a fwb declared her feelings for him so he basically gave her a lecture on the difference between love and lust....I don't fancy being patronised like that, plus I don't want to give up the mind blowing amazing sex lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy. "

I get that. Funny I have only known women that can truly just have a friend for sex only. But I think that's more a reflection of the men I know. I personally struggle to be affectionate in a fwb situation. I catch the feels if I get affectionate because I'm soppy.

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By *ave1963BarnsleyMan
over a year ago

Barnsley


"Not necessarily if you're both clear on boundaries

I have one I've been seeing on and off for three years, we're just good friends who also enjoy sex with each other This "

Me too. This exactly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s only happened to me once and told myself it won’t ever happen again

I'm still sleeping with my once unfortunately

He told me before that a fwb declared her feelings for him so he basically gave her a lecture on the difference between love and lust....I don't fancy being patronised like that, plus I don't want to give up the mind blowing amazing sex lol"

Just go with the flow but don’t be taken in by him…. You are a free spirit

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Tough one.

I definitely fell for one of my regular FWBs... really hard. But not for the other two who are geographically closer and can/do see more often. Different life events have made me apply the brakes and my feelings have gone down a lot, besides knowing that a relationship will never happen, so I just enjoy the friendship and the meets/sex when they happen

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough


"It’s only happened to me once and told myself it won’t ever happen again

I'm still sleeping with my once unfortunately

He told me before that a fwb declared her feelings for him so he basically gave her a lecture on the difference between love and lust....I don't fancy being patronised like that, plus I don't want to give up the mind blowing amazing sex lol

Just go with the flow but don’t be taken in by him…. You are a free spirit "

I'm trying. I don't think I'd ever have the balls to tell him how I feel anyway so it'll always be my little secret. If it gets too much, I'll just have to end it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s only happened to me once and told myself it won’t ever happen again

I'm still sleeping with my once unfortunately

He told me before that a fwb declared her feelings for him so he basically gave her a lecture on the difference between love and lust....I don't fancy being patronised like that, plus I don't want to give up the mind blowing amazing sex lol

Just go with the flow but don’t be taken in by him…. You are a free spirit

I'm trying. I don't think I'd ever have the balls to tell him how I feel anyway so it'll always be my little secret. If it gets too much, I'll just have to end it "

Only you can make that choice…. If you ever need to chat my inbox is open x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy.

I get that. Funny I have only known women that can truly just have a friend for sex only. But I think that's more a reflection of the men I know. I personally struggle to be affectionate in a fwb situation. I catch the feels if I get affectionate because I'm soppy."

I like catching the feels... They don't have to be the full on, all or nothing thing tho... If I love someone I have regular sex with it makes for better sex... It doesn't mean it has to be a bf/gf situation though... In fact, apparently, it's better that it isn't... I have never been so bloody happy/content lol

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy.

I get that. Funny I have only known women that can truly just have a friend for sex only. But I think that's more a reflection of the men I know. I personally struggle to be affectionate in a fwb situation. I catch the feels if I get affectionate because I'm soppy.

I like catching the feels... They don't have to be the full on, all or nothing thing tho... If I love someone I have regular sex with it makes for better sex... It doesn't mean it has to be a bf/gf situation though... In fact, apparently, it's better that it isn't... I have never been so bloody happy/content lol"

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy.

I get that. Funny I have only known women that can truly just have a friend for sex only. But I think that's more a reflection of the men I know. I personally struggle to be affectionate in a fwb situation. I catch the feels if I get affectionate because I'm soppy.

I like catching the feels... They don't have to be the full on, all or nothing thing tho... If I love someone I have regular sex with it makes for better sex... It doesn't mean it has to be a bf/gf situation though... In fact, apparently, it's better that it isn't... I have never been so bloody happy/content lol

"

I think I can echo this sentiment.

I believe you can even be "in love" with someone without wanting more than what is already there (i.e. in this case a FWB type arrangement).

It's as much about setting your own expectations as it is about setting boundaries/rules between you.

But as with everything human relationship related, this could change. Nothing is set in stone, and communication at every waypoint is essential.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A friend of mine (not on here and only ever slept with one guy) said that she can't understand how you can have sex with someone, cuddle and chat afterwards and not fall for them. It just got me thinking "

It’s easier… bring emotional attachment to it and you will fall down one day or another. If you are happy the way it is now why would you complicate it

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy.

I get that. Funny I have only known women that can truly just have a friend for sex only. But I think that's more a reflection of the men I know. I personally struggle to be affectionate in a fwb situation. I catch the feels if I get affectionate because I'm soppy.

I like catching the feels... They don't have to be the full on, all or nothing thing tho... If I love someone I have regular sex with it makes for better sex... It doesn't mean it has to be a bf/gf situation though... In fact, apparently, it's better that it isn't... I have never been so bloody happy/content lol"

Me too. I do love mine and care deeply for him and always will, its a lovely feeling to have x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy. "

Yes, I agree with that and I like your other posts Meli.

OP I think the key is being open and making sure the communication between you both is spot on, if you start hiding things like feelings it's going to get complicated very quickly. Sometimes feelings happen, but by being honest about it you can both lay all your cards out on the table and see what to do from there.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy. "

I agree with you Meli …. Feelings are inevitable sometimes, it’s how they are handled at the time it comes between said party’s. If one decides they want to move on or introduce others into the mix that’s when the problem begins. One or other ends creating an unnecessary fuss over it and often regrets later they did !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have feelings for anyone you like or care about, it's the depth of them that's the issue. I would imagine most people on here have people they care for or even love, ie friends and family, but that's not sexual. It's inevitable that you will develop feelings for a fwb, but that doesn't necessarily extend to wanting her/him as a life partner. If you think of friends that you share other pleasurable experiences with, ie sports/hobbies, socialising, or just their company, it's on a par with that. Going beyond that may be overstepping the mark unless it's mutual.

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

A fwb situation will differ for everyone however I think the more time you spend with anyone the more likely you are to develop feelings, whether that’s the full on feels or just ‘this guys funny, the sex is incredible, I like being around him’ feels is dependant on the people involved, we’re human, we feed off the endorphins of feeling wanted/desired/included even loved. I enjoy my fwb for the person he is, the experiences we have had together and the way in which he has opened my mind up to a whole aspect of sex I would never have known I’d enjoy- I trust him with my body and mind. I care for him but I’m not in love with him there’s a huge difference between the two x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A fwb situation will differ for everyone however I think the more time you spend with anyone the more likely you are to develop feelings, whether that’s the full on feels or just ‘this guys funny, the sex is incredible, I like being around him’ feels is dependant on the people involved, we’re human, we feed off the endorphins of feeling wanted/desired/included even loved. I enjoy my fwb for the person he is, the experiences we have had together and the way in which he has opened my mind up to a whole aspect of sex I would never have known I’d enjoy- I trust him with my body and mind. I care for him but I’m not in love with him there’s a huge difference between the two x"

Yeah like most things it's individual choice. I would fall in love in this scenario, not sure I'm cut out for FAB

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By *hysoseriouslyMan
over a year ago

Kent


"A fwb situation will differ for everyone however I think the more time you spend with anyone the more likely you are to develop feelings, whether that’s the full on feels or just ‘this guys funny, the sex is incredible, I like being around him’ feels is dependant on the people involved, we’re human, we feed off the endorphins of feeling wanted/desired/included even loved. I enjoy my fwb for the person he is, the experiences we have had together and the way in which he has opened my mind up to a whole aspect of sex I would never have known I’d enjoy- I trust him with my body and mind. I care for him but I’m not in love with him there’s a huge difference between the two x"

Totally this! We are humans and feed off of these emotions and the best fwb bring us trust and respect… and biscuits which we love. Ok maybe that last bit is just me

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

No. I (Luke) had two swinging partners in succession, each of which I was with for about a year. No romantic feelings developed. Each of them had their own husbands and didn't have any desire to end their relationships. I was in a failing marriage but I didn't want to end it because I deemed that best for the children. The situations worked for all of us and I'm not aware of anybody wanting anything other than friends with benefits.

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By *ic_khan2341Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"If you've had the same fwb for a long time and you can talk to each other easily rather than just a shag and go, is it inevitable that you will fall for them?

Is it more likely for the woman to develop feelings rather than the man?

Should you stop seeing each other when feelings get involved or can it ever have a happy ending?

Can you tell that I'm bored and overthinking things

Just curious to see what everyone thinks"

No. I have a had FBs for decades and we still get on great, no problems with romance.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I haven't read all the relpies.

But in my very humble opinion.

If you are seeing someone regularly and shagging them and also socialising with them that's pretty much a relationship, other than telling them you love them what's the difference?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I haven't read all the relpies.

But in my very humble opinion.

If you are seeing someone regularly and shagging them and also socialising with them that's pretty much a relationship, other than telling them you love them what's the difference?"

I think this way too. I think the word relationship has come to mean something very different in certain contexts.

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough


"I haven't read all the relpies.

But in my very humble opinion.

If you are seeing someone regularly and shagging them and also socialising with them that's pretty much a relationship, other than telling them you love them what's the difference?"

We don't socialise. We talk almost every day, see each other once every couple of weeks and we just get on really well

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I haven't read all the relpies.

But in my very humble opinion.

If you are seeing someone regularly and shagging them and also socialising with them that's pretty much a relationship, other than telling them you love them what's the difference?"

I see what you mean but I see relationship as being involved in your real life. I suppose it is a relationship in a way but nobody will be coming to my house, meeting my kids, meeting my parents etc. That’s the difference between FWB and relationship for me.

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By *urvyBi-84Man
over a year ago

Lancs

As has been said above, it’s all about boundaries and openness with each other. When I’ve had a FWB it’s always been agreed where we stand, and also that if either of us start to feel anything more we stop it and go back to just friends. It has worked well and helps stop people from getting hurt.

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough


"As has been said above, it’s all about boundaries and openness with each other. When I’ve had a FWB it’s always been agreed where we stand, and also that if either of us start to feel anything more we stop it and go back to just friends. It has worked well and helps stop people from getting hurt."

So I should tell him and possibly take a break from seeing him?

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By *urvyBi-84Man
over a year ago

Lancs


"As has been said above, it’s all about boundaries and openness with each other. When I’ve had a FWB it’s always been agreed where we stand, and also that if either of us start to feel anything more we stop it and go back to just friends. It has worked well and helps stop people from getting hurt.

So I should tell him and possibly take a break from seeing him?"

It all depends on you and how strong those feelings are. If you are happy with the current arrangement and it isn’t hurting you then I’d say you’re OK, but you’d need to look deep down inside yourself to make sure. If the feelings are causing an issue for you, like being jealous of him being with other people, then I would suggest being honest and taking a break.

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough


"As has been said above, it’s all about boundaries and openness with each other. When I’ve had a FWB it’s always been agreed where we stand, and also that if either of us start to feel anything more we stop it and go back to just friends. It has worked well and helps stop people from getting hurt.

So I should tell him and possibly take a break from seeing him?

It all depends on you and how strong those feelings are. If you are happy with the current arrangement and it isn’t hurting you then I’d say you’re OK, but you’d need to look deep down inside yourself to make sure. If the feelings are causing an issue for you, like being jealous of him being with other people, then I would suggest being honest and taking a break."

That's a difficult one because I get turned on hearing about what he does with others. I kinda get off on jealousy I guess too. Even if by whatever miracle he wanted more from me I wouldn't want to change the dynamic that we have now. Would just be nice to see him more often

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By *urvyBi-84Man
over a year ago

Lancs


"As has been said above, it’s all about boundaries and openness with each other. When I’ve had a FWB it’s always been agreed where we stand, and also that if either of us start to feel anything more we stop it and go back to just friends. It has worked well and helps stop people from getting hurt.

So I should tell him and possibly take a break from seeing him?

It all depends on you and how strong those feelings are. If you are happy with the current arrangement and it isn’t hurting you then I’d say you’re OK, but you’d need to look deep down inside yourself to make sure. If the feelings are causing an issue for you, like being jealous of him being with other people, then I would suggest being honest and taking a break.

That's a difficult one because I get turned on hearing about what he does with others. I kinda get off on jealousy I guess too. Even if by whatever miracle he wanted more from me I wouldn't want to change the dynamic that we have now. Would just be nice to see him more often "

If you are happy deep down with the dynamic of your FWB arrangement then you’re OK, maybe see if you can spend a bit more time together. Just watch out for yourself and if that changes then maybe have a rethink. It’s a difficult one but provided you are both happy with the dynamic you should be fine

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough

Thank you

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By *urvyBi-84Man
over a year ago

Lancs


"Thank you "

No problem. Sending a big hug and I hope it all works out

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Thank you

No problem. Sending a big hug and I hope it all works out "

Shall we give hug a hug sandwich?

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By *urvyBi-84Man
over a year ago

Lancs


"Thank you

No problem. Sending a big hug and I hope it all works out

Shall we give hug a hug sandwich? "

Hug sandwiches are always good

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I've known my most established fwb for just over a year now. He has been a wonderful friend and has helped me throufh the death of my dad. I am very fond of him and would miss him if it became harder to see one another. But i am fine with it not going further or not becoming monogamous. This is what we both signed up for and I'm very happy with it.

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough

I've had fwb's in the past that I've seen for years but never developed feelings for. They've just been good friends. There is just something about this guy. Its just more special for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally i believe there has to be some sort of feelings there else what is the point in bothering?

I would never have sex with someone I didn’t care for or have attraction or a bond with.

I would never just fuck and go and never see someone again. Chemistry and connection is so important for it to work.

I have a best friend and we have amazing sex, we are very close but he is single and happy and I’m in a long term relationship and happy. We are both open and honest towards each other about everything.

So yes it does work.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had fwb's in the past that I've seen for years but never developed feelings for. They've just been good friends. There is just something about this guy. Its just more special for me "

Have you told him?

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough


"I've had fwb's in the past that I've seen for years but never developed feelings for. They've just been good friends. There is just something about this guy. Its just more special for me

Have you told him? "

Noooooo far too much of a wuss to tell him. I don't want to have to stop seeing him

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

I actively try and avoid getting to know them to personally. I enjoy a cuddle etc but that's as far as it goes. I don't invest time in getting to know them or learn about them. That way it makes it difficult to develop much feelings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only got that way once a long time ago and it got really, really messy. My own fault as I didn't read into it well enough before it was too late. Since then I've always been totally honest with people and set boundaries where total honesty is required. You have to have some form of feelings to get that physical with someone, (lets call it 'lust'), but the moment it becomes more is when it needs to stop as I would doubt that many on Fab end up in a relationship together after meeting on here?

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By *urvySub87 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough


"I only got that way once a long time ago and it got really, really messy. My own fault as I didn't read into it well enough before it was too late. Since then I've always been totally honest with people and set boundaries where total honesty is required. You have to have some form of feelings to get that physical with someone, (lets call it 'lust'), but the moment it becomes more is when it needs to stop as I would doubt that many on Fab end up in a relationship together after meeting on here?"

Did you fall for them or they fell for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not necessarily if you're both clear on boundaries

I have one I've been seeing on and off for three years, we're just good friends who also enjoy sex with each other This "

People also says that friendship between man and women without feelings or sex isn't possible. But I do have 2 best friends and we both says that if we would try something more than we could lose best friendship. Honest and respectful conversation is the the best solution

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only got that way once a long time ago and it got really, really messy. My own fault as I didn't read into it well enough before it was too late. Since then I've always been totally honest with people and set boundaries where total honesty is required. You have to have some form of feelings to get that physical with someone, (lets call it 'lust'), but the moment it becomes more is when it needs to stop as I would doubt that many on Fab end up in a relationship together after meeting on here?

Did you fall for them or they fell for you?"

Her for me mainly but I was heading that way myself but tried to put and end to it far too late. I've never forgiven myself for that one and it will never happen again. You learn by your mistakes bla bla bla

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"A friend of mine (not on here and only ever slept with one guy) said that she can't understand how you can have sex with someone, cuddle and chat afterwards and not fall for them. It just got me thinking "

Surely that's the seductive stage that you want to retain by continuing to be fwb's and nothing more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you've had the same fwb for a long time and you can talk to each other easily rather than just a shag and go, is it inevitable that you will fall for them?

Is it more likely for the woman to develop feelings rather than the man?

Should you stop seeing each other when feelings get involved or can it ever have a happy ending?

Can you tell that I'm bored and overthinking things

Just curious to see what everyone thinks"

I feel like if I like someone, I could potentially create an attachment for them.. not necessarily fall in love, but feel attached and when I do get too attached I struggle with dealing with jealousy and sharing someone I guess lol I realise that so

I think it’s legitimate to question that btw

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I like having feelings for someone. It doesn’t mean I want to live with them though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like having feelings for someone. It doesn’t mean I want to live with them though. "

Agreed x haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had fwb's in the past that I've seen for years but never developed feelings for. They've just been good friends. There is just something about this guy. Its just more special for me

Have you told him?

Noooooo far too much of a wuss to tell him. I don't want to have to stop seeing him "

Wise move. Enjoy him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only got that way once a long time ago and it got really, really messy. My own fault as I didn't read into it well enough before it was too late. Since then I've always been totally honest with people and set boundaries where total honesty is required. You have to have some form of feelings to get that physical with someone, (lets call it 'lust'), but the moment it becomes more is when it needs to stop as I would doubt that many on Fab end up in a relationship together after meeting on here?

Did you fall for them or they fell for you?

Her for me mainly but I was heading that way myself but tried to put and end to it far too late. I've never forgiven myself for that one and it will never happen again. You learn by your mistakes bla bla bla "

It's even better when the other person has the same view and helps you keep yourself in check as well as themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you've had the same fwb for a long time and you can talk to each other easily rather than just a shag and go, is it inevitable that you will fall for them?

Is it more likely for the woman to develop feelings rather than the man?

Should you stop seeing each other when feelings get involved or can it ever have a happy ending?

Can you tell that I'm bored and overthinking things

Just curious to see what everyone thinks"

For me , I had just really fallen for my FWB after a while, knew it was more than just sex because we could easily meet at lunchtimes for a drink without the need to rip each other’s clothes off. I must admit the last time I saw her (before her OH discovered her extra curricular activity) . I was just about to pluck of the courage to tell her I’d really fallen for her and didn’t know what to do next.

Moral is folks, don’t get too emotionally involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happened with a great girl I met on here, we met up a few times, had dinner, shared wine... one day she told me she loved me. I honestly couldnt say I felt the same way she did, and it was never the same after. We haven't spoken for two years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only got that way once a long time ago and it got really, really messy. My own fault as I didn't read into it well enough before it was too late. Since then I've always been totally honest with people and set boundaries where total honesty is required. You have to have some form of feelings to get that physical with someone, (lets call it 'lust'), but the moment it becomes more is when it needs to stop as I would doubt that many on Fab end up in a relationship together after meeting on here?

Did you fall for them or they fell for you?

Her for me mainly but I was heading that way myself but tried to put and end to it far too late. I've never forgiven myself for that one and it will never happen again. You learn by your mistakes bla bla bla

It's even better when the other person has the same view and helps you keep yourself in check as well as themselves "

Exactly right Ms Cherry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only got that way once a long time ago and it got really, really messy. My own fault as I didn't read into it well enough before it was too late. Since then I've always been totally honest with people and set boundaries where total honesty is required. You have to have some form of feelings to get that physical with someone, (lets call it 'lust'), but the moment it becomes more is when it needs to stop as I would doubt that many on Fab end up in a relationship together after meeting on here?

Did you fall for them or they fell for you?

Her for me mainly but I was heading that way myself but tried to put and end to it far too late. I've never forgiven myself for that one and it will never happen again. You learn by your mistakes bla bla bla

It's even better when the other person has the same view and helps you keep yourself in check as well as themselves

Exactly right Ms Cherry "

See you next week then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only got that way once a long time ago and it got really, really messy. My own fault as I didn't read into it well enough before it was too late. Since then I've always been totally honest with people and set boundaries where total honesty is required. You have to have some form of feelings to get that physical with someone, (lets call it 'lust'), but the moment it becomes more is when it needs to stop as I would doubt that many on Fab end up in a relationship together after meeting on here?

Did you fall for them or they fell for you?

Her for me mainly but I was heading that way myself but tried to put and end to it far too late. I've never forgiven myself for that one and it will never happen again. You learn by your mistakes bla bla bla

It's even better when the other person has the same view and helps you keep yourself in check as well as themselves

Exactly right Ms Cherry

See you next week then "

I'll be waiting

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By *obbychickWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"I like having feelings for someone. It doesn’t mean I want to live with them though. "

I feel exactly the same way.

I don’t understand why feelings have to complicate things. As long as you set boundaries before hand and those are respected then I can’t see why you can’t feel some sort of emotions for someone. Everyone’s different but for me personally it has to be with feelings otherwise I don’t want it

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy. "

Yes this!

Also feelings (especially love) aren't the bastardised Hollywood notion.

I love deeply several friends I haven't slept with, buy also friends I have. I've had sex with people I don't care about at all. Hell I love my husband and sex doesn't come into it at all (he's asexual).

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

[Removed by poster at 13/08/21 13:32:53]

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach


"Oh and also, I'm of the belief that feelings are not a Big Bad Thing. At all. Feelings can be great as long as you're both on the same page, respect each other etc. I don't see why feelings should end things if you're both happy.

Yes this!

Also feelings (especially love) aren't the bastardised Hollywood notion.

I love deeply several friends I haven't slept with, buy also friends I have. I've had sex with people I don't care about at all. Hell I love my husband and sex doesn't come into it at all (he's asexual).

"

Ultimately, there are a thousand combinations of what a relationship can be.

Whether you call the other person a FB, FWB, Partner etc. it all boils down to what you and that person agree on in regards the "rules of engagement".

You may even have a number of relationships, all managed in a different way.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester


"If you've had the same fwb for a long time and you can talk to each other easily rather than just a shag and go, is it inevitable that you will fall for them?

Is it more likely for the woman to develop feelings rather than the man?

Should you stop seeing each other when feelings get involved or can it ever have a happy ending?

Can you tell that I'm bored and overthinking things

Just curious to see what everyone thinks"

Yes, you can have a FWB, and no they do not need to progress to a "relationship" if both parties are mature and able to compartmentalise their feelings / respect boundaries.

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