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Mental health

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This is not a sympathy post just asking that since my mum passed away on June 9th I lack motivation to do anything apart from washing myself. Luckily my son now lives with me ( now I obviously no longer accommodate) and he thankfully does the house cleaning but Is this a normal grieving process or something more deeply rooted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depression is incredibly difficult to live with and it has affected my physical healty over the years. I really struggle with motivation and just getting out of bed can be really difficult at times, so just by having a wash you're doing what you can.

Have you thought about talking to someone about how you're feeling?

I keep putting it off as I've been down that route many runs a and haven't found the support I need, but it's something I definitely need to look into.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I don't know what it's like to lose a parent but I lost my Grandad to Covid in Feb and I wasn't able to say goodbye In person. It's always difficult losing a loved one.

I hope you get the support you need.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grief had many stages, old which you can look up online. Get exercise outside and join some groups to meet new people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very sorry to hear that you are struggling. Depression is awful, my advice would be, see your GP and they should be able to help with a combination of drugs and pointing you in the direction of talking therapies. Do one thing everyday, even if it just making your bed.

Try and force yourself to do some exercise, just a 5 min walk.

And dont forget there is always help out there. Plenty of people who want to help, such as the samaritans 116 123.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m so sorry about your mum op. Have you considered some bereavement counselling?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As suggested above, bereavement counselling and see a doctor. I lost my dad a short time ago. I completely shut down. Barely ate, washed, dressed. It is very normal and is a coping mechanism. There are a lot of charities that can send you info on how to cope and help you recognise how you’re feeling. It’s not something you get over, you just start to manage better and adjust. It is very hard but you will get through this. I’m glad you have your son with you. Family and friends support is very beneficial.

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By *ustinCredible.Man
over a year ago

whitecross/sankey valley


"This is not a sympathy post just asking that since my mum passed away on June 9th I lack motivation to do anything apart from washing myself. Luckily my son now lives with me ( now I obviously no longer accommodate) and he thankfully does the house cleaning but Is this a normal grieving process or something more deeply rooted."

There's no normal in grief mate, you will have good and bad days.

I buried both my parents before I was 32, was made homeless as the landlord wouldn't transfer the tenancy to me, and am still in debt from covering costs...

Some days a shower can be hard work others I'm as animated as Jim Carey in ace Ventura.

But 1 thing remains the same no matter what you have to keep pushing forward

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"This is not a sympathy post just asking that since my mum passed away on June 9th I lack motivation to do anything apart from washing myself. Luckily my son now lives with me ( now I obviously no longer accommodate) and he thankfully does the house cleaning but Is this a normal grieving process or something more deeply rooted."

So sorry for your loss. Change your old rule book and expectations. Take a bit of a time out.... Be kind to yourself. Write your feelings down and set one or two easy objectives each day. And if you are able to... Reach out to friends and family for help and support... You'd do it for them right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is not a sympathy post just asking that since my mum passed away on June 9th I lack motivation to do anything apart from washing myself. Luckily my son now lives with me ( now I obviously no longer accommodate) and he thankfully does the house cleaning but Is this a normal grieving process or something more deeply rooted."

Hiya lovely

In my opinion you definetly need to give yourself more time.

I'd have a word with your doctor and see if he/she can give you some options.....

Take care sweet x

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Grief has no set pattern or timeline and can come and go in waves.

When you are ready reach out to a bereavement counselling service such as cruse or speak to your Dr x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

In my experience grieving is not linear. Give yourself time, listen to your mind and body when it want's to get up and do something and take the down time for what it is .......... SPACE.......... in which to recover.

Eventually start to monitor that down time , just to make sure it's not taking over.

Get help from ANYONE who will give it. Sometimes just company and an ear is all that is needed.

Help others....... best medicine on the planet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After my Dad died, I struggled for a long time, it's only natural. I came to the conclusion that bereavement is the same as any other wound or injury. It starts off with pain, open and susceptible to the elements. As time moves on, a scab forms and it's a little better to deal with. Eventually the scab falls off leaving a scar, a reminder of what was. Right now you are open and weeping, any thought of your Mum is painful because of what you've lost. Over time those thoughts and memories will be less painful and you'll find yourself smiling about memories you've shared. Eventually almost all your thoughts and memories will do this and you can see that the life once shared was a blessing and not a painful memory. Occasionally, like when my boys were born, it sneaks back in briefly, but you'll have a better handle of it and yourself.

I hope this helps. Unfortunately, time is what it takes and good company. It sounds like your son is a goodun, talk with him, tell each other memories that make you both smile, and cry probabl, but that's good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand your feelings OP.

My mum has never fully recovered from a fall and the covid jab. Everyday is difficult and I've had to put a care plan in place so she can remain in her home.very expensive but I believe in doing what is right.

Myself, I have started a new career which without going into great detail is dealing with the very worst of society and the things I'm seeing and witnessing would break most people.

Thankfully I'm very tough and I've had years of training to get to this stage.

I do recommend speaking to a professional and getting a few things down on paper. List what you need to do daily as a target to keep moving.

Less thinking, more doing.

I deal with victims of crime and this often means seeing people at their lowest, I recently had a conversation with a parent and as big as he was he collapsed on seeing the evidence before him.

I'm not going to sugar coat it for you. The world is a sinister place that can and will break you.

But that's not you.

So. Speak to a professional, it's worth the investment.

Every night write down on paper what you need to do the next day and stick to it.

Keep yourself busy and away from the negative lazy behaviour which lets your brain take over and brings you down.

Get yourself a hobby. Take up a martial art that helps with dedication. This will focus the mind and put you on a course of achievement.

I'm no expert.no one is.

Yes I do deal with people so I see many forms of behaviour and pitfalls people trap themselves in.

I wish you good luck. Everyday is a good day

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/08/21 10:19:00]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks everyone for your messages of support. I will definitely take your help on board. I’m just glad I have my son with me. You’re all very kind xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yes BBM it was me but your page won’t let me reply to you sadly

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Freddie, there's no such thing as a normal grieving process, it's different for everyone. No-one can tell you that your feelings are wrong. I won't try to add to all the advice above, everything that I might say is already there. Polly xxx

PS. Three and a half years since I lost my mum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grief affects everyone differently as I do echo the sentiments here. Get outside for a walk without any music or other distractions.

You may of not noticed but posting this means that you are starting to come to terms with it by admitting you have an issue that you want to solve.

My DM’s are always open to you of you need some support

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As some may know I lost my son in July last year, his suicide bought on by depression had already taken us both on the roller coaster ride of addictions and rehab.

Like hopefully you will I gained great strength from other fab members, well tbh apart from my mother who was grieving too I had nobody else.

GP's surgeries were not open for visits and I'm not sure that would've worked for me though I would recommend that route if you feel the need, the friends and support I received and still do however was and still is vital.

You’ve done the right thing by posting this thread and perhaps its your first positive step on your journey of grief, I still and will always get upset at his tragic death, yesterday completely out the blue I cried my eyes out for a couple of hours alone and thats something I hadn't done for 2 weeks, this time last year it was everyday... there will be tough days if not everyday atm, but as time moves and the world turns those days will become fewer and you'll feel better when your ready, and in your own time.

I carry on because he would've wanted me too, you have a reason as well... find that reason and hold on to it until the sunshine returns.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

The most important thing you can do is give yourself time. Grief is like a roller coaster, allow yourself to feel every emotion, I know it's easy to say but don't bottle it up. You will get there OP in your own time x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks everyone,at least i still want to come on here and chat and fab all the pretty ladies. Hopefully this continues xx

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