FabSwingers.com forum: Misconceptions

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There are many misconceptions on this site will what people see as the ultimate goal.

I often get women tell me that I can have anal with them but unless they get off on it it’s not something I chase yet it seems to be an ultimate goal for some men.

Vice versa I see so many men say that they can lick pussy for hours yet most women would get bored with that.

What other things do you see or get offered that the other party thinks you would like yet it would actually be a turn off?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are many misconceptions on this site will what people see as the ultimate goal.

I often get women tell me that I can have anal with them but unless they get off on it it’s not something I chase yet it seems to be an ultimate goal for some men.

Vice versa I see so many men say that they can lick pussy for hours yet most women would get bored with that.

What other things do you see or get offered that the other party thinks you would like yet it would actually be a turn off? "

I'm more interested in pleasing them than pleasing myself. If they want to do X, Y and Z but refuse to do A, B and C then it looks like I'm just doing X, Y and Z.

I might try and talk them into doing A but I would never put pressure on them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A great long world and peace effort detailing a scenario of a sexual nature

Assuming I want a 'dom'

Thinking I might like to piss on them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of fellas claim they can spend all day tending to a lady's pussy. Some fellas steer the convo or meet towards anal. Other things too.

Some of which I'd perhaps be compliant in an established FWB scenario.

The minute there is any verbal pressure applied via this forum or similar chat forum, it switches me off.

I'm a lady who appreciates a fella who enjoys making sure the lady is seen to however, I'm the same re a fella - it's a 2-way journey of pleasure in equal measures. (I hope I'm making some sense here?)

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I think the problem is some folk come here with a list of fantasies they want to fulfil then try and find someone to tick their boxes…

Whist others come here to find a person that they like in order to create fantasy together..

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There are loooaads of things that are offered to us that turn me off. We're all here to get than mine of meet we enjoy though,so they might as well make it clear initially what kind of thing they're after.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There are many misconceptions on this site will what people see as the ultimate goal.

I often get women tell me that I can have anal with them but unless they get off on it it’s not something I chase yet it seems to be an ultimate goal for some men.

Vice versa I see so many men say that they can lick pussy for hours yet most women would get bored with that.

What other things do you see or get offered that the other party thinks you would like yet it would actually be a turn off?

I'm more interested in pleasing them than pleasing myself. If they want to do X, Y and Z but refuse to do A, B and C then it looks like I'm just doing X, Y and Z.

I might try and talk them into doing A but I would never put pressure on them."

This is a misconception in itself. The fact you are now interested in pleasing them means you are assuming that they want control of what you do

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think the problem is some folk come here with a list of fantasies they want to fulfil then try and find someone to tick their boxes…

Whist others come here to find a person that they like in order to create fantasy together.. "

Yep and neither is wrong

I'm getting to the stage where I know I'm here but I can't for the life of me think why

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A great long world and peace effort detailing a scenario of a sexual nature

Assuming I want a 'dom'

Thinking I might like to piss on them

Yes the whole dom thing really interests me. People or more men assume that one person has to have the control when most women want equal standing unless otherwise stated in their profile or via text

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A lot of fellas claim they can spend all day tending to a lady's pussy. Some fellas steer the convo or meet towards anal. Other things too.

Some of which I'd perhaps be compliant in an established FWB scenario.

The minute there is any verbal pressure applied via this forum or similar chat forum, it switches me off.

Perfect sense to me

pleasure in equal measures

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The misconception that being on a ‘sex site’ means your sole focus is sex often annoys me. People seem to forget you're a person not a free escort.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"I think the problem is some folk come here with a list of fantasies they want to fulfil then try and find someone to tick their boxes…

Whist others come here to find a person that they like in order to create fantasy together..

Yep and neither is wrong

I'm getting to the stage where I know I'm here but I can't for the life of me think why

Snap

exactly.. it’s very much square peg, round hole. When folks approach things from an opposite spot it’s not going to work.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think the problem is some folk come here with a list of fantasies they want to fulfil then try and find someone to tick their boxes…

Whist others come here to find a person that they like in order to create fantasy together.. "

I really like that, creating a fantasy together

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The misconception that being on a ‘sex site’ means your sole focus is sex often annoys me. People seem to forget you're a person not a free escort. "

Yes exactly them complain that they aren’t getting sex. We are swingers not escorts

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By *ooroo2019Woman
over a year ago

Chester

"Yes the whole dom thing really interests me. People or more men assume that one person has to have the control when most women want equal standing unless otherwise stated in their profile or via text"

This. Men are baffled when I say I’m neither Dom/sub.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think the problem is some folk come here with a list of fantasies they want to fulfil then try and find someone to tick their boxes…

Whist others come here to find a person that they like in order to create fantasy together..

Yep and neither is wrong

I'm getting to the stage where I know I'm here but I can't for the life of me think why

Snap

exactly.. it’s very much square peg, round hole. When folks approach things from an opposite spot it’s not going to work. "

Most definitely a round hole

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This. Men are baffled when I say I’m neither Dom/sub. "

I have to say I am neither but can play a role when needed but that isn’t because it’s something I chase just happy to play that role for someone’s pleasure not mine

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"I think the problem is some folk come here with a list of fantasies they want to fulfil then try and find someone to tick their boxes…

Whist others come here to find a person that they like in order to create fantasy together..

Yep and neither is wrong

I'm getting to the stage where I know I'm here but I can't for the life of me think why

Snap

exactly.. it’s very much square peg, round hole. When folks approach things from an opposite spot it’s not going to work.

Most definitely a round hole

see it’s easy… just stick in the round queue and you don’t have this problem…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are many misconceptions on this site will what people see as the ultimate goal.

I often get women tell me that I can have anal with them but unless they get off on it it’s not something I chase yet it seems to be an ultimate goal for some men.

Vice versa I see so many men say that they can lick pussy for hours yet most women would get bored with that.

What other things do you see or get offered that the other party thinks you would like yet it would actually be a turn off?

I'm more interested in pleasing them than pleasing myself. If they want to do X, Y and Z but refuse to do A, B and C then it looks like I'm just doing X, Y and Z.

I might try and talk them into doing A but I would never put pressure on them."

Are you a maths teacher?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

This reflects the importance for most of us to have good communication before meeting - why a Fancy A Fuck?, won't just have a yes/no answer and that talking and reflecting on the answers, isn't timewasting. The frequent assumption of a meet 10 minutes later, after a FAF 'yes' answer, is the reason so many struggle here.

A fair few guys don't see much point in talking before, unless it's for wank fodder

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think the problem is some folk come here with a list of fantasies they want to fulfil then try and find someone to tick their boxes…

Whist others come here to find a person that they like in order to create fantasy together..

Yep and neither is wrong

I'm getting to the stage where I know I'm here but I can't for the life of me think why

Snap

exactly.. it’s very much square peg, round hole. When folks approach things from an opposite spot it’s not going to work.

Most definitely a round hole

see it’s easy… just stick in the round queue and you don’t have this problem… "

Can we go back to calling it a round hole instead?

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

One of the biggest misconceptions on this site and a turn offs for me is around BDSM/kink and how people make incorrect assumptions.

Just because we like to do certain things, doesn't mean we are a one trick pony and can only do those things.

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Can go all night

Give multiple orgasms

Lick pussy for hours

Put her pleasure above theirs

I think that these are all things a lot of men say because they think women want to hear them. Some women probably do and are into it. For me it's just a huge turn off, no matter if true or lies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This reflects the importance for most of us to have good communication before meeting - why a Fancy A Fuck?, won't just have a yes/no answer and that talking and reflecting on the answers, isn't timewasting. The frequent assumption of a meet 10 minutes later, after a FAF 'yes' answer, is the reason so many struggle here.

A fair few guys don't see much point in talking before, unless it's for wank fodder

FAF?

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"I think the problem is some folk come here with a list of fantasies they want to fulfil then try and find someone to tick their boxes…

Whist others come here to find a person that they like in order to create fantasy together..

Yep and neither is wrong

I'm getting to the stage where I know I'm here but I can't for the life of me think why

Snap

exactly.. it’s very much square peg, round hole. When folks approach things from an opposite spot it’s not going to work.

Most definitely a round hole

see it’s easy… just stick in the round queue and you don’t have this problem…

Can we go back to calling it a round hole instead?

never gets tired you see,,.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think the problem is some folk come here with a list of fantasies they want to fulfil then try and find someone to tick their boxes…

Whist others come here to find a person that they like in order to create fantasy together..

Yep and neither is wrong

I'm getting to the stage where I know I'm here but I can't for the life of me think why

Snap

exactly.. it’s very much square peg, round hole. When folks approach things from an opposite spot it’s not going to work.

Most definitely a round hole

see it’s easy… just stick in the round queue and you don’t have this problem…

Can we go back to calling it a round hole instead?

never gets tired you see,,. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can go all night

Give multiple orgasms

Lick pussy for hours

Put her pleasure above theirs

I think that these are all things a lot of men say because they think women want to hear them. Some women probably do and are into it. For me it's just a huge turn off, no matter if true or lies."

The proof is in the pudding as they say

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

This is why I don't have list of likes on my profile, just because I like something doesn't mean I want to do it with just anyone who messages me about it

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

" I'm a lady who appreciates a fella who enjoys making sure the lady is seen to however, I'm the same re a fella - it's a 2-way journey of pleasure in equal measures. (I hope I'm making some sense here?)"

yup. Same for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is why I don't have list of likes on my profile, just because I like something doesn't mean I want to do it with just anyone who messages me about it"

Yes exactly. People should be expect that just because you have listen something you want to do it with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever I use the word "Domme" on my profile I get inundated with messages from guys wanting me to peg them? I know that in a lot of BDSM porn strap-on play is heavily featured but do these men not understand that it is pandering to a male fantasy rather than the woman's. I'm sure there are some dom woman that enjoy pegging but the ones that truly love it are called "pro dommes"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can go all night

Give multiple orgasms

Lick pussy for hours

Put her pleasure above theirs

I think that these are all things a lot of men say because they think women want to hear them. Some women probably do and are into it. For me it's just a huge turn off, no matter if true or lies."

If you're doing it right it shouldn't take hours ;-p

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Whenever I use the word "Domme" on my profile I get inundated with messages from guys wanting me to peg them? I know that in a lot of BDSM porn strap-on play is heavily featured but do these men not understand that it is pandering to a male fantasy rather than the woman's. I'm sure there are some dom woman that enjoy pegging but the ones that truly love it are called "pro dommes" "

That is a great misconception. Do you think they enjoy being pegged or think that you will enjoy it so they will do it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can go all night

Give multiple orgasms

Lick pussy for hours

Put her pleasure above theirs

I think that these are all things a lot of men say because they think women want to hear them. Some women probably do and are into it. For me it's just a huge turn off, no matter if true or lies.

If you're doing it right it shouldn't take hours ;-p"

Unless a long edging session

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

That guys will assume I want to be "ruined" or finger blasted til I "squirt".

I tell them that I don't always cum during sex and that I'm fine with that (I have a trusty vibe!) & they assume I've just never met the right guy

and tell me they won't stop until I cum.

Yeah great, you turning it into a male ego thing is really gonna make me drop my knickers

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Nothing bores me more than any pre-planned sexual escapades. Discuss and agree boundaries, but don't have a tick list of things to do while you're in the act...I much prefer to just do what feels right in the moment.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That guys will assume I want to be "ruined" or finger blasted til I "squirt".

I tell them that I don't always cum during sex and that I'm fine with that (I have a trusty vibe!) & they assume I've just never met the right guy

and tell me they won't stop until I cum.

Yeah great, you turning it into a male ego thing is really gonna make me drop my knickers

This is when it becomes all about their ego

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nothing bores me more than any pre-planned sexual escapades. Discuss and agree boundaries, but don't have a tick list of things to do while you're in the act...I much prefer to just do what feels right in the moment. "

Has anyone ever brought a checklist and ticked them off as they go?

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Has anyone ever brought a checklist and ticked them off as they go?

Some may as well have, they definitely had mental checklists

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Has anyone ever brought a checklist and ticked them off as they go?

Some may as well have, they definitely had mental checklists

Oh dear. It was meant to be a joke like timing each position to make sure they complete every one of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That they are straight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That people (mostly men) think being online must mean that you are sat at home absolutely gagging for the next cock that appears in your inbox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is a great misconception. Do you think they enjoy being pegged or think that you will enjoy it so they will do it? "

I think its what they want. 99% of messages I get from so-called submissive men is all about what they want lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That people (mostly men) think being online must mean that you are sat at home absolutely gagging for the next cock that appears in your inbox

"
and that they are the best fuck in the world

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By *ocusMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

"The misconception that being on a ‘sex site’ means your sole focus is sex often annoys me. People seem to forget you're a person not a free escort. "

This! I’d rather make some friends to chat, laugh and play with than just fuck someone.

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

I admit that we get a bit fed up when we ask a guy what he is looking for and they come back saying “looking to please the lady, I get pleasure from her pleasure”.

Now I understand that this is most likely true for some, but surely there is more to it than that for you? What do you like, what do you enjoy, anything you have been wanting to try that isn’t on our red list perhaps?

For us it’s about the guy enjoying himself and knowing what he wants alongside us enjoying ourselves.

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

What do you want and what are you into? Answer - fun. Very illuminating said no one ever

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Women that joke about if your behaved etc you might get a blow job. I’m like, I’ll make sure I misbehave then…..

1/ often a sign of doing weak men

2/ unless they really love giving blow jobs , they will likely be crap at it

3/ if they really love it , they generally just take it, I don’t really have a say !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Women that joke about if your behaved etc you might get a blow job. I’m like, I’ll make sure I misbehave then…..

1/ often a sign of doing weak men

2/ unless they really love giving blow jobs , they will likely be crap at it

3/ if they really love it , they generally just take it, I don’t really have a say !

I always take that as I sign of flirting. I always ask what I will get off I don’t behave. Is the answer is nothing then bye bye

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The misconception that being on a ‘sex site’ means your sole focus is sex often annoys me. People seem to forget you're a person not a free escort.

This! I’d rather make some friends to chat, laugh and play with than just fuck someone."

Yes knowing the difference between fucking and playing is often lost

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I admit that we get a bit fed up when we ask a guy what he is looking for and they come back saying “looking to please the lady, I get pleasure from her pleasure”.

For us it’s about the guy enjoying himself and knowing what he wants alongside us enjoying ourselves.

Do you ever reply ‘it would please me if you just fucked off”?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That people (mostly men) think being online must mean that you are sat at home absolutely gagging for the next cock that appears in your inbox

Not the next one, just mine

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

When blokes talk about eating pussy for hours, isn't that just hyperbole to get across the point that they are enthusiastic about the practice.

It's not a serious offer, surely? Only a 15 year old virgin could imagine that hours of laborious cunnilingus would constitute the acme of sexual pleasure for women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The misconception that being on a ‘sex site’ means your sole focus is sex often annoys me. People seem to forget you're a person not a free escort.

This! I’d rather make some friends to chat, laugh and play with than just fuck someone.

Yes knowing the difference between fucking and playing is often lost"

Is fucking where you do it and playing where you pretend you will?

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I've had several messages from sub men assuming that I'm a Domme... seemingly based solely on my photos.

I'm not even looking to meet men.

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By *rikiWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"The misconception that being on a ‘sex site’ means your sole focus is sex often annoys me. People seem to forget you're a person not a free escort. "

THIS!

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Naked photos - because it gives them pleasure to think of you looking at them but it’s the last thing you really want to see. Context is everything.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"A great long world and peace effort detailing a scenario of a sexual nature

Assuming I want a 'dom'

Thinking I might like to piss on them

Yes the whole dom thing really interests me. People or more men assume that one person has to have the control when most women want equal standing unless otherwise stated in their profile or via text"

Exactly this

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By *nfin8yWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

"I think the problem is some folk come here with a list of fantasies they want to fulfil then try and find someone to tick their boxes…

Whist others come here to find a person that they like in order to create fantasy together.. "

I agree. I’m definitely not interested in just helping someone tick off a list of fantasies. I’d much rather aim for the second. It has to be a mutual adventure.

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By *ougie321Man
over a year ago

Milford Haven

I feel so embarrassed also inadequate as most of the guys on here are so experienced, quick to slate other guys, bigging themselves up

make out they know everything that a woman wants and can please them.

Myself I have been married a few times so know where the start buttons are, class myself as a lover not a faker, preference would be to know the other person before saying exactly what I would like from the person to please myself and would politely ask the same from them. Already explored AW for experiences I had never done before but have never been with a couple experience to the full. So totally out of my depth.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Naked photos - because it gives them pleasure to think of you looking at them but it’s the last thing you really want to see. Context is everything. "

Unless, of course ask to see those photos they should never be sent without permission.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've had several messages from sub men assuming that I'm a Domme... seemingly based solely on my photos.

I'm not even looking to meet men."

It’s the guitar that’s misleading

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