FabSwingers.com forum: Ladies,have a word with yourselves

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

NSP did a great thread recently about our bodies. Something I realised about the furom is that so many of you know each other. These men are going for personalities first. Any imperfections don't put them off. So ladies rethink your feelings about yourselves. Stop overthinking. NSP got such a big reaction because she's loved and respected here. And she's got big tits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If only it was that easy to not over think haha!!

I feel like there’s a certain expectation or hierarchy (maybe not voluntary) created by men and women.

I can only speak for myself and being me, I definitely feel like if I slack, then I’m not worthy enough? If it makes sense?

And I constantly knit and pick on rotation of parts that I deem or society deems too small or too big for a woman and that might make me clock-able

Either way, I’m doing my best to try love all of myself but when beauty standards are so high, it can be difficult sometimes x

But we can all try our best

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If only it was that easy to not over think haha!!

I feel like there’s a certain expectation or hierarchy (maybe not voluntary) created by men and women.

I can only speak for myself and being me, I definitely feel like if I slack, then I’m not worthy enough? If it makes sense?

And I constantly knit and pick on rotation of parts that I deem or society deems too small or too big for a woman and that might make me clock-able

Either way, I’m doing my best to try love all of myself but when beauty standards are so high, it can be difficult sometimes x

But we can all try our best "

I know what you mean. The media and the outside world paints a picture of the perfect woman. But in reality everyone likes different things. I know it's hard. But try and give yourself permission,every now and then,to be yourself xx

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

See how popular those Dove Soap adverts are? People of all shapes and sizes are loved and lusted after.

For a more immediate piece of research, go into any of the chat rooms and see who's camera icon is glowing hot red.

Gbat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's not about the most popular

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only need to look around my local club and see ladies of all shapes and sizes and each lady is beautiful in her own right

I lose my inhibitions in a club because as a fwb once said to me that men notice the confidence and self assurance not body size. And in my experience it's true.

Love yourself before you expect anyone else too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it would be nice if we just took some time away from thinking and talking about our bodies and just got on with being and living

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always been of the thinking that no matter what you think of yourself, no one person is perfect but as long as you're perfect for someone then that should be enough.

Every single person on this planet is at least one other persons beautiful.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I only need to look around my local club and see ladies of all shapes and sizes and each lady is beautiful in her own right

I lose my inhibitions in a club because as a fwb once said to me that men notice the confidence and self assurance not body size. And in my experience it's true.

Love yourself before you expect anyone else too."

That last sentence is basically the answer x

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By *LiamMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Just be happy.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"NSP did a great thread recently about our bodies. Something I realised about the furom is that so many of you know each other. These men are going for personalities first. Any imperfections don't put them off. So ladies rethink your feelings about yourselves. Stop overthinking. NSP got such a big reaction because she's loved and respected here. And she's got big tits

Lots of us came to that conclusion a long time ago.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't feel bad about myself. I never have. Whether its because I don't judge my worth by how attractive men find my body or not I don't know.

I am realistic though.

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"It's not about the most popular "

No, perhaps not. But I was using that as an example to show that people of all shapes and sizes can be attractive and you don't have to aspire to looking like some ultra skinny blonde with a pout. (Ultra skinny blondes with a pout can also be attractive, but other types are available!)

Try another quick social experiment. Go on to Xhamster or similar and see how amateur porn gets as many if not more views than staged "models" porn.

Men like all types of women is all I'm saying.

Gbat

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By *hocCock1Man
over a year ago

Southampton

Confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"Men like all types of women is all I'm saying."

Sorry, I should have said,

"All types of people like all types of people."

It doesn't have to be a man/woman thing.

Gbat

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

"Confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear "

So is a smile

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

Sexy is an attitude not a shape or size

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone beautiful in they own unique and special way

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"If only it was that easy to not over think haha!!

I feel like there’s a certain expectation or hierarchy (maybe not voluntary) created by men and women.

I can only speak for myself and being me, I definitely feel like if I slack, then I’m not worthy enough? If it makes sense?

And I constantly knit and pick on rotation of parts that I deem or society deems too small or too big for a woman and that might make me clock-able

Either way, I’m doing my best to try love all of myself but when beauty standards are so high, it can be difficult sometimes x

But we can all try our best "

I’d agree with this wholeheartedly. Most of my life if been defined by my figure - with exes and even my mother being quick to point out and criticise if I put on the pounds.

I’ve piled on about 2 stones with the menopause - and accordingly have had to completely re-assess myself.

Given the choice - I’d still prefer to be slim again.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think it would be nice if we just took some time away from thinking and talking about our bodies and just got on with being and living "

I agree

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By *rmdMan
over a year ago

chesterfield

You say this but your hidden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sexy is an attitude not a shape or size "

This is so true.

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By *rmdMan
over a year ago

chesterfield

You say this but your hidden

Also beauty is all personal preference what I like and you like maybe polar opposite to the the next person

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Be happy in your own skin and use moisturiser

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Be happy in your own skin and use moisturiser "

Preferably with a high spf

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I actually think the hyperbole spouted on fab doesn't help. I personally would prefer something closer to the truth. Just tell me you find me attractive not stunning or gorgeous.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Be happy in your own skin and use moisturiser

Preferably with a high spf

always xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure you can tell someone to just have body confidence. It doesn't work like that.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Always happy to discuss this in person with ladies.

So many of you have so much to smile about. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not sure you can tell someone to just have body confidence. It doesn't work like that. "

I'm not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure you can tell someone to just have body confidence. It doesn't work like that.

I'm not."

Rethink your feelings and stop overthinking... hmm OK.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure you can tell someone to just have body confidence. It doesn't work like that. "

WORD.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Lovely sentiment OP.

But it's not all down to personality. We don't want to make those who are shy to feel they aren't desirable. Attraction is a multifaceted thing.

To quote the lovely posh

"We all look at the "flaws" in ourselves with a far more critical eye than we ever would look at others. I could have a twin, a clone of me, looking exactly as I do and I'd tell her she was beautiful. I'm sure so many of you feel the same. We need to be kinder to ourselves as much as we do to others."

To me what I took from the thread is that we need to love ourselves and to speak to ourselves as we would our best friend

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not sure you can tell someone to just have body confidence. It doesn't work like that.

I'm not.

Rethink your feelings and stop overthinking... hmm OK.

I obviously got it all wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lovely sentiment OP.

But it's not all down to personality. We don't want to make those who are shy to feel they aren't desirable. Attraction is a multifaceted thing.

To quote the lovely posh

To me what I took from the thread is that we need to love ourselves and to speak to ourselves as we would our best friend

Can I hug you? Totally!!!

We are sometimes our worst critics, at least I realise I am. And I wish my brain wasn’t working like that but it’s hard.

I do love myself don’t get me wrong, but the over critical part of me is never satisfied or always criticising what others probably wouldn’t even notice or care or … I say it softly… find beautiful

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I do find it difficult to convince myself that anybody really finds me desirable. A few see me as a bit of a different experience, something they've not tried before. I get the occasional invite to go be pretty much a sex toy for couples, I've reached the point where I usually just ignore these (I send a polite note declining the offer). I know that I belong to probably the hardest demographic on fab, non-op trans woman who is mainly attracted to women, no longer young, not got a fabulous body. It would be nice though if once in a blue moon there was anyone even pretending that they found me to be a desirable person, that I was made to feel sexually attractive.

I do have some good friends, mainly female, that I've made through fab, but these are generally non-sexual relationships. TBH, I don't ever remember anybody seeing me as a sexual being on an equal level.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure you can tell someone to just have body confidence. It doesn't work like that.

I'm not.

Rethink your feelings and stop overthinking... hmm OK.

I obviously got it all wrong."

Have a word with yourself! Where's the confidence in yourself? Have confidence in your opinions. Isn't that part of it??

For the record, I never said you were wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I did this thread to try and help. As a woman who hates her body and is ignored by men in the forum. I see a lot of beautiful women here who are liked by many men for their personalities as well. I just think it's so sad that some imperfections make them so unhappy.

My observations are right,everyone supported NSP,and rightly so. But I get picked apart.

Just be happy Ladies. I'm done.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Here's posh original thread for those who would like to read it.

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1187928

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I did this thread to try and help. As a woman who hates her body and is ignored by men in the forum. I see a lot of beautiful women here who are liked by many men for their personalities as well. I just think it's so sad that some imperfections make them so unhappy.

My observations are right,everyone supported NSP,and rightly so. But I get picked apart.

Just be happy Ladies. I'm done."

Always have your opinion xxx

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

My observations are right,everyone supported NSP,and rightly so. But I get picked apart.

Just be happy Ladies. I'm done."

Nobody is picking you apart, just have a difference of opinion and that is ok.

Just remember your worth isn't based on the men of the forum x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My observations are right,everyone supported NSP,and rightly so. But I get picked apart.

Just be happy Ladies. I'm done."

I'm sorry you felt picked apart. Not my intention. I was only questioning your thought process.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to a club last night for the first time and it was fabulous to see ladies of all shapes and sizes wearing the most amazing outfits! It was very empowering and lonely to see

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

My observations are right,everyone supported NSP,and rightly so. But I get picked apart.

Just be happy Ladies. I'm done."

As soon as I saw this thread I knew it would finish with you saying you’re done. I think threads like this are not the best things to do if you’re lacking self confidence/self esteem. And this is not me having a pop because I wouldn’t do one myself. There are always going to be people with different views no matter how well intentioned your thread was, and rightly so. I don’t think the men do ignore you anymore then they ignore anyone else. You really must try to not things personally. You’re a lovely lady and you know I’ve messaged you a couple of times. If people disagree that really doesn’t mean it’s against you or having a pop at you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t speak for all men but I know there’s a lot of us that don’t see women the same way they see themselves. In the same way that a lot of women don’t seem to see the bad bits I see in MYSELF. As hard as it is, try and love yourself.

I have had a pretty shit start to 2021 and I was feeling pretty low as far as my self esteem is concerned. A few people on this forum, both male and female have made me feel much better about myself. Sometimes I don’t find it easy to take the compliments I get but I know that they are sincere.

Love yourselves.

And not just in a finger bashing kind of way.

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