FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Ruin a first date in 5 words or less...

Jump to newest
 

By *drian Hardthrob OP   Man
over a year ago

Worcester

Does this boil look infected?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I brought your dad here…

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My biological clock is ticking

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello. I shagged your mum

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I cant wait to marry.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *drian Hardthrob OP   Man
over a year ago

Worcester

I've brought my therapist.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

I think I love you

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Please don't mind the axe

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always wanted 10 kids!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been for a shit?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nfin8yWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

Don’t cry. It won’t hurt.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

I can fart the alphabet.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *drian Hardthrob OP   Man
over a year ago

Worcester

Technically it was "manslaughter"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I brought your dad here…"

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ougie321Man
over a year ago

Milford Haven

What time are you going

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Wer'nt you at that clinic.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Let's fuck first talk later

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

On arrival of the bill, saying - let's do a runnner, ready!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

Actually, it's my friend's picture.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland

Shall we go halfers?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll pop my teeth in

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive already ordered for you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Do you want to fuck ornot

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *drian Hardthrob OP   Man
over a year ago

Worcester

Shall we open our bibles?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Shall we split the bill ?

When we have just sat down.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I've another date in ten mins

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Chop chop, I’m in a rush!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The weather is awful

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Need to call my wife

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

I am a Nigerian Prince.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

You look better in photos

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I liked Trump

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *drian Hardthrob OP   Man
over a year ago

Worcester

Oh, that's dried period blood.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

My rectal prolapse needs repacking

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

I've got the shits bad

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy watching you sleep!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather have a wank

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I brought some friends along…

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Your dad is better looking

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *appyharryhMan
over a year ago

Burntwood

You look like my daughter

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

So what you looking for????

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *otPrinceHarryMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

My secretary will take notes.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *acktar74Man
over a year ago

leeds

Is the baby due soon

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I brought some friends along…"

That could be a result depending on the type of date

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *drian Hardthrob OP   Man
over a year ago

Worcester

Check out my samurai sword.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yummy. Fava beans and chianti

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

How much do you cost.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aneyjane888Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Do you like cheesy cock?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Mummy said don’t be late

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

You brought condom’s right?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"How much do you cost."

Ouch!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Are you in fancy dress?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

So, I have this condition…

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Just maybe have a salad

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"Are you in fancy dress?"

Howling!

I actually met a guy for a social a couple of years ago and thought this

Needless to say, it was a brief social x

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Messy anal is such fun!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not double jabbed. Soz.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *outhguyMan
over a year ago

London

Think I dated your sister...?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *urulovesnylonMan
over a year ago

Harrow

Run out of razor blades??

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Oh crap I've cum already.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Just pick the scab off

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Have you got a sister?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"Are you in fancy dress?

Howling!

I actually met a guy for a social a couple of years ago and thought this

Needless to say, it was a brief social x"

Have we met the same people?!? I do love a good weird one…

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can i shag ya mum

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

That’s just my ankle tag.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

The leakage is perfectly normal

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *drian Hardthrob OP   Man
over a year ago

Worcester

I wanna wear your skin.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Don’t look in the bag

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not double jabbed. Soz."

Or ‘I am double jabbed. Soz’

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That’s just my ankle tag."
meet my other girlfriend saff

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That dress looks really shit.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Your good husband material

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not double jabbed. Soz.

Or ‘I am double jabbed. Soz’ "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck im itching down below

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"Are you in fancy dress?

Howling!

I actually met a guy for a social a couple of years ago and thought this

Needless to say, it was a brief social x

Have we met the same people?!? I do love a good weird one… "

xx

Funny cute weird = good.

Just plain weird = bad.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *drian Hardthrob OP   Man
over a year ago

Worcester

I've forgot my wallet

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

....and it's no longer green

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So how's your mother doing

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

How much do you earn?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

The meat hooks are decorative

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester


"Are you in fancy dress?

Howling!

I actually met a guy for a social a couple of years ago and thought this

Needless to say, it was a brief social x

Have we met the same people?!? I do love a good weird one… xx

Funny cute weird = good.

Just plain weird = bad."

So this is where I’m going wrong….

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

I was on Crimewatch

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

She puts the lotion on

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *alty surpriseMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Can I change my pants

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

Let's talk about lampposts!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth


"She puts the lotion on "

Or doesn't get fed.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Only got an hour - shoot!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

PC's gone mad, hasn't it?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cock needs sucking tonight

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My arse needs a cock

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Should it smell like that?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/08/21 12:42:06]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

The wife is at work/unwell

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My balls are itching !

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

[Removed by poster at 07/08/21 12:37:07]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

Dam I forgot my wallet

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *OCONO5Couple
over a year ago

Sensual Center

you sister looks better

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *4Fun11Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

You mighta made an effort

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I brought your dad here…"

I brought my dad too

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

Can you apply the cream?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am going to ruin you

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Your prettier in your photos

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"Your prettier in your photos "

No you can't bum me!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Don’t mind the plastic sheets

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My name is Boris Johnson

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I thought you were bigger.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

The itching has stopped.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look like my mum

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have my best lingerie on

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I brought my parents along!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You like tasting helmet cheese?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I wanna fuck the waiter

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

Please just sniff it?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve slept with that waitress

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I've 'done' him, her and......

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your dad is a snack!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hocCock1Man
over a year ago

Southampton

Let's talk about God

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Let's talk about God "

Yeah that’s me gone lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *hocCock1Man
over a year ago

Southampton

I've brought a gerbil along

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

I've had your sister.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1. Do you have any STDs? You do now!

2. Pull my finger (and shart).

I know I didn't stick to the 5 word rule for number 1. Sorry!..... M

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

Do you like Dubstep?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Where's the exit..again?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Mum will adore you

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

Let's have a singalong!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're paying the bill right?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *egvisir71Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Oops!!! That wasn’t a fart

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ltrMan
over a year ago

sheffield

My husband / wife is in prison for murder

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ltrMan
over a year ago

sheffield

My husband / wife is in prison for murder

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

Let's compare skidmarks!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you collect stamps too?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look like my wife

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My curfew is at nine.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Do farts come in lumps?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh! Your name is stevie

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This time at band camp

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You looked better on Crimewatch.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Your smelly feet stink stinky

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going to STD clinic tomorrow

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am on day release.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excuse sticky hand, just wanked.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Excuse sticky hand, just wanked."

Mmm

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

5 mins...in the toilets!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Can’t you hear the voices…

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Crap, messaged the wrong person.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Get under the table now!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Eat so I can have your skin

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Theere will be no desert

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

My moms sat outside waiting.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

[Removed by poster at 07/08/21 14:24:29]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Why Vegan?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got every STD xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get under the table now!"

These are dream dates, not disasters !

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Get under the table now!

These are dream dates, not disasters ! "

Yes.. I can see this

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Leoblooms looks for bahumas cock

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

McDonalds is not a restaurant!!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Fuck me...I love myself

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Leoblooms looks for bahumas cock "

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Leoblooms looks for bahumas cock

"

Your date is ruined

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does this smell like chloroform?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was this or suicide

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *otPrinceHarryMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Actually, according to Jordan Peterson...

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

You,ve got to be joking

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's ok. It's only puss

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/08/21 14:49:28]

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really admire Katie Hopkins!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any opinions about cannibalism?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I really admire Katie Hopkins! "

A talking point

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really admire Katie Hopkins! "

Winner!

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Want to share my anusol?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re paying right?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Want to share my anusol? "

If a girl said that to me she would seal the deal.

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smell this rag for me

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Smell this rag for me"

Which 1

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *assionate1971Man
over a year ago

Herts

Are you genuine ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

Like my England rugby top?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Definitely anal for you tonight

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 
 

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

Are you a feminist?

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
back to top