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Morals

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

If you found out that your bestest best friends husband/wife/partner was on here and you knew that they were oblivios....

Would you tell them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Maybe"

Why maybe?

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By *oncupiscent_dreamMan
over a year ago

City

Even if they were not my best friend, I'd tell them of their other half was cheating. Even if I knew they would not believe me and never talk to me again, I'd be like "they are cheating on you"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe

Why maybe? "

Because they aren’t sure yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. If my best friend was oblivious then I’d have a word and ask them.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No.

Not under any circumstances. Well ........ at least 99.55%

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Nope.

I might speak to the person doing what I perceived to be the cheating and tell them to sort themselves out though. It would depend

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Yes. Although I would then be ‘outing’ myself a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I think it's probably best to keep your oar out of other people's business for what might be a passing phase, some light titillation or anything else you might not be in any position to consider.

If it's black and white without any consideration of the position of others then it's probably not a considered and intelligent choice.

The wording of their profile and the activities they were taking part in would have to guide ones actions.

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

I’d speak to the person on here and tell them to fess up

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If you found out that your bestest best friends husband/wife/partner was on here and you knew that they were oblivios....

Would you tell them?"

How would you know they were oblivious?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I'd speak to the guilty party...

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading


"Well I think it's probably best to keep your oar out of other people's business for what might be a passing phase, some light titillation or anything else you might not be in any position to consider.

If it's black and white without any consideration of the position of others then it's probably not a considered and intelligent choice.

The wording of their profile and the activities they were taking part in would have to guide ones actions.

"

This is the best answer imo.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I’d speak to the person on here and tell them to fess up"

Why? What makes you the keeper of their morals ?

Why MUST the cheater confess? Why must the cheated know ?

What would you do if you found out they already knew but were horrified that you 'd found out something they wanted to be private ?

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Let's say for arguments sake. It's obvious the person has met and had sex with others....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Yeah I'd speak to the guilty party...

"

How do you know they're guilty?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Yeah I'd speak to the guilty party...

"

Which party is the guilty party ? What are they guilty of ? Whose morals are you expecting them to live by ?

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Having discovered my ex on here before we split, I wouldn't want to inflict the hurt that I experienced, I would speak to the person on here and try to get them to be honest and open with their partner, hopefully they could sort out their issues between themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a tricky one.

Think I would talk to the person who's on here and give them the chance to tell their partner themselves first?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Let's say for arguments sake. It's obvious the person has met and had sex with others...."

Doesn't change my answer.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I’d speak to the person on here and tell them to fess up

Why? What makes you the keeper of their morals ?

Why MUST the cheater confess? Why must the cheated know ?

What would you do if you found out they already knew but were horrified that you 'd found out something they wanted to be private ?"

I'm with you on this granny.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"That's a tricky one.

Think I would talk to the person who's on here and give them the chance to tell their partner themselves first?"

Before you do it for them ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tricky question really. I think we all know that there are loads of people here just for the fantasy or Lols. We all know them as time wasters.

If it had meet in person verification them absolutely. If not then case by case surely

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"If you found out that your bestest best friends husband/wife/partner was on here and you knew that they were oblivios....

Would you tell them?"

Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooooooo I really don't know. I have 1 best best best friend, if her husband was on here I would tell her, after all I'd want to be told by her. But anyone else I think I would try to stay out of it. It's a difficult one

Claire

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By *edtimefunMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Well I'm a married guy and have my reasons for being here .. no one on this site should think they have higher morals than anyone else .. any couple on here having sex with other people is commiting Adultery if you go by the true definition .. no matter how you try and dress it up !!

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"That's a tricky one.

Think I would talk to the person who's on here and give them the chance to tell their partner themselves first?

Before you do it for them ?"

I did say if you knew 100% that your best friend was oblivious to the fact their partner was on here.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Having discovered my ex on here before we split, I wouldn't want to inflict the hurt that I experienced, I would speak to the person on here and try to get them to be honest and open with their partner, hopefully they could sort out their issues between themselves"

When did you become their marriage counsellor ? Did they ask you to be ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"That's a tricky one.

Think I would talk to the person who's on here and give them the chance to tell their partner themselves first?

Before you do it for them ?

I did say if you knew 100% that your best friend was oblivious to the fact their partner was on here."

Yeah ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's a tricky one.

Think I would talk to the person who's on here and give them the chance to tell their partner themselves first?

Before you do it for them ?"

I mean I would want to know if it was me.

I would want my best friend to tell me if my partner didnt.so yes if they declined.

Just my opinion and I appreciate sometimes if it's not your business,don't mess with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody else's bees wax.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and no depends do they know you know

If not then stay clear if they do then

First I would sit the person down and give them a ultimatum that they got to come clean to them by x amount off time

And if they don’t then you will

Because here the thing if they found out and they could turn around and say your best friend new about it and didn’t even tell you

Now you lost your best friend people can be spiteful in direct hurt to someone

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Ooooooo I really don't know. I have 1 best best best friend, if her husband was on here I would tell her, after all I'd want to be told by her. But anyone else I think I would try to stay out of it. It's a difficult one

Claire "

This is really interesting. You base what's best for her by what's best for you ?

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Well I'm a married guy and have my reasons for being here .. no one on this site should think they have higher morals than anyone else .. any couple on here having sex with other people is commiting Adultery if you go by the true definition .. no matter how you try and dress it up !!"

Does your wife know that you are on here? If not how would you feel if say, 1 of her friends knee you were and told her...and showed her proof.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Yes and no depends do they know you know

If not then stay clear if they do then

First I would sit the person down and give them a ultimatum that they got to come clean to them by x amount off time

And if they don’t then you will

Because here the thing if they found out and they could turn around and say your best friend new about it and didn’t even tell you

Now you lost your best friend people can be spiteful in direct hurt to someone "

So you do it to protect yourself really ?

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By *oncupiscent_dreamMan
over a year ago

City


"What would you do if you found out they already knew but were horrified that you 'd found out something they wanted to be private ?"

I'd tell them I wanted to keep my sexual life private too but here I am outing myself for them.

If they are so self centered that they see that as something to be horrified about then thats their prudish mentality and can't be hung on me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Nobody and I mean *nobody* knows what goes on in other people's relationships, even a best friend who tells you everything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah I'd speak to the guilty party...

Which party is the guilty party ? What are they guilty of ? Whose morals are you expecting them to live by ?"

The guilty party who's on here as a single person expecting to meet!

I'd be nosey and ask have they been successful with shagging! If they haven't been, I'd say you're better off with porn instead....

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"That's a tricky one.

Think I would talk to the person who's on here and give them the chance to tell their partner themselves first?

Before you do it for them ?

I did say if you knew 100% that your best friend was oblivious to the fact their partner was on here."

You have to consider the possibility that you only think they are 100% oblivious because they don’t want you to think otherwise.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"Nobody and I mean *nobody* knows what goes on in other people's relationships, even a best friend who tells you everything.

"

Indeed.

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Believe it or not...

There is no right or wrong answer here...

I was just asking what YOU would do under the circumstances.

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By *andR510Couple
over a year ago

St Neots/Wisbech


"If you found out that your bestest best friends husband/wife/partner was on here and you knew that they were oblivios....

Would you tell them?"

Nope. Imagine that the other half is fully aware and then mortified that you know their secret ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"That's a tricky one.

Think I would talk to the person who's on here and give them the chance to tell their partner themselves first?

Before you do it for them ?

I mean I would want to know if it was me.

I would want my best friend to tell me if my partner didnt.so yes if they declined.

Just my opinion and I appreciate sometimes if it's not your business,don't mess with it."

I'd want to know too. I still say I wouldn't say a word if I knew that someone's partner was having sex behind their back with someone else.

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"If you found out that your bestest best friends husband/wife/partner was on here and you knew that they were oblivios....

Would you tell them?"
I would tell the person that they have the opportunity to tell their partner first

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines


"Having discovered my ex on here before we split, I wouldn't want to inflict the hurt that I experienced, I would speak to the person on here and try to get them to be honest and open with their partner, hopefully they could sort out their issues between themselves

When did you become their marriage counsellor ? Did they ask you to be ?"
you could apply the same thing to telling the person who is being cheated on

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Absolutely would my bestie of I was sure it was her hubby.

If it happened to me and my best mate knew and didn't say, I'd struggle to forgive her. Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well I'm a married guy and have my reasons for being here .. no one on this site should think they have higher morals than anyone else .. any couple on here having sex with other people is commiting Adultery if you go by the true definition .. no matter how you try and dress it up !!"

Lol. That's not true dude.

There is one person you are not meant to lie to. Adultery is in the abuse of trust not the act of sex, nor a narrow dictionary definition.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Yeah I'd speak to the guilty party...

Which party is the guilty party ? What are they guilty of ? Whose morals are you expecting them to live by ?

The guilty party who's on here as a single person expecting to meet!

I'd be nosey and ask have they been successful with shagging! If they haven't been, I'd say you're better off with porn instead....

"

Why though ? I'm as nosey as hell but I could resist moralising with someone who is not following social mores...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes and no depends do they know you know

If not then stay clear if they do then

First I would sit the person down and give them a ultimatum that they got to come clean to them by x amount off time

And if they don’t then you will

Because here the thing if they found out and they could turn around and say your best friend new about it and didn’t even tell you

Now you lost your best friend people can be spiteful in direct hurt to someone

So you do it to protect yourself really ?"

Not exactly but it’s put a person in a hard place

Ie your friend could take at as trying to medial in they realship and cut you out if they don’t want to blelve it

That’s why you say nothing

But on the other hand you never know how spiteful someone going to be

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

My bestest friend...then he'll yes and I'd expect the same in return.

You could never be friends if you didn't tell them. It would always come between you.

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

Ha you people are such liars. This site is rife with cheaters, practically designed for it. All you get is can u fuck me whilst my husbands out or can u fuck me whilst my wife's at work she doesn't have a clue and you see the 100s of verifications and it blows my mind hahaha. I will never trust anyone again after using this site as it opened my eyes to what people are really like. Good thing or bad? Unsure.

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By *arty84Man
over a year ago

Orpington

Tough call, if it's one of my closest friends and assuming they don't know about it, then probably yes I would get involved.

Problem is do you approach the person on here? Or your friend?

Really is tricky as I don't want to hurt my friends feelings but it's not right for them to get cheated on, I could call out the person on here and they decide to leave, but then they could just do their cheating through another method. :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's a tricky one.

Think I would talk to the person who's on here and give them the chance to tell their partner themselves first?

Before you do it for them ?

I mean I would want to know if it was me.

I would want my best friend to tell me if my partner didnt.so yes if they declined.

Just my opinion and I appreciate sometimes if it's not your business,don't mess with it.

I'd want to know too. I still say I wouldn't say a word if I knew that someone's partner was having sex behind their back with someone else."

Fair enough . Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's a tricky one.

Think I would talk to the person who's on here and give them the chance to tell their partner themselves first?

Before you do it for them ?

I did say if you knew 100% that your best friend was oblivious to the fact their partner was on here.

You have to consider the possibility that you only think they are 100% oblivious because they don’t want you to think otherwise."

I think there is a very good chance the other party knows or suspects in times such as these and they are choosing their own way to deal with it, that isnt necesarily kick then straight out the door . My poor sister took the decision to tell me, but I already knew way before that and would have saved her the ordeal for want of it being kept a bit private.

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By *edtimefunMan
over a year ago

Northampton

It would cause a lot of wide ranging hurt to so many people .. I've had long conversations with her, we have a huge mismatch in our sexusl needs now .. she doesn't think you can meet others just for sex without emotions becoming involved xx

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Of course

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What if it's your best friend cheating on their partner and you know the partner doesn't know because your best friend has told you? What do you do then, tell the partner?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Yes and no depends do they know you know

If not then stay clear if they do then

First I would sit the person down and give them a ultimatum that they got to come clean to them by x amount off time

And if they don’t then you will

Because here the thing if they found out and they could turn around and say your best friend new about it and didn’t even tell you

Now you lost your best friend people can be spiteful in direct hurt to someone

So you do it to protect yourself really ?

Not exactly but it’s put a person in a hard place

Ie your friend could take at as trying to medial in they realship and cut you out if they don’t want to blelve it

That’s why you say nothing

But on the other hand you never know how spiteful someone going to be "

I'd like to think ( and I can only think ) that if my partner cheated i'd NEVER hold my best friend responsible. AND...... if my best friend had been put through that agony you can bet your bottom fucking dollar I am not going to shit on them. Sure we might have a discussion around the theme of Why didn't you tell me and I do hope I had it in me to believe that they were trying to protect me and my marriage.

Why should they take the blame.

I'd like to think that i treat a friend as a friend thick and thin ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's a tricky one.

Think I would talk to the person who's on here and give them the chance to tell their partner themselves first?

Before you do it for them ?

I did say if you knew 100% that your best friend was oblivious to the fact their partner was on here.

You have to consider the possibility that you only think they are 100% oblivious because they don’t want you to think otherwise.

I think there is a very good chance the other party knows or suspects in times such as these and they are choosing their own way to deal with it, that isnt necesarily kick then straight out the door . My poor sister took the decision to tell me, but I already knew way before that and would have saved her the ordeal for want of it being kept a bit private. "

It's good to hear things from another perspective.

Mrs x

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By *edtimefunMan
over a year ago

Northampton

It is in the true definition of Adultry xx

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"What if it's your best friend cheating on their partner and you know the partner doesn't know because your best friend has told you? What do you do then, tell the partner? "

The plot thickens!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"What if it's your best friend cheating on their partner and you know the partner doesn't know because your best friend has told you? What do you do then, tell the partner? "

Good questioning Watson ........

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"What if it's your best friend cheating on their partner and you know the partner doesn't know because your best friend has told you? What do you do then, tell the partner? "

Yes. My friends know my feelings on cheating and they know I wouldn't keep my mouth shut if any of them did.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"It is in the true definition of Adultry xx"

Which one of us were you kissing ? Bloody flirts on here.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Oddly it's something I've discussed with my closest friend, albeit in a very theoretical way when a similar type of situation occurred with a mutual acquaintance.

Knowing that she'd want me to speak up would make it easier.

It's not an issue right now, as neither of us are in a relationship!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nobody and I mean *nobody* knows what goes on in other people's relationships, even a best friend who tells you everything.

"

Exactly because none of us tell our best friends everything.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire


"I’d speak to the person on here and tell them to fess up"

yep, that;s what I'd say too

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Ha you people are such liars. This site is rife with cheaters, practically designed for it. All you get is can u fuck me whilst my husbands out or can u fuck me whilst my wife's at work she doesn't have a clue and you see the 100s of verifications and it blows my mind hahaha. I will never trust anyone again after using this site as it opened my eyes to what people are really like. Good thing or bad? Unsure."

Maybe you are a tad jaded. I never cheated on my husband and i'd have died ( after i killed him ) if he cheated on me......

Doesn't mean I would interfere in someone's marriage.

Running to tell tales could end a marriage that would have stayed happily together.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I would offer them my silence for a peanut lion bar and a toffee crisp

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"I’d speak to the person on here and tell them to fess up

yep, that;s what I'd say too

"
give them the opportunity to sugar coat it as best they can if that is actually possible otherwise they can leave it to me to tell them straight to the point

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Oddly it's something I've discussed with my closest friend, albeit in a very theoretical way when a similar type of situation occurred with a mutual acquaintance.

Knowing that she'd want me to speak up would make it easier.

It's not an issue right now, as neither of us are in a relationship!"

Now then ....... that's like a 'living will' ...... sort of.

I'd tell under those circumstances as I'd have a loyalty to my friend about something we had pre agreed and promised each other.

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire


"I’d speak to the person on here and tell them to fess up

Why? What makes you the keeper of their morals ?

Why MUST the cheater confess? Why must the cheated know ?

What would you do if you found out they already knew but were horrified that you 'd found out something they wanted to be private ?"

I was thinking of my best friend as I answered this, she knows I’m on here so if she found out I knew then it would ruin our friendship, her partner isn’t a saint but I would give him the opportunity to try and put it right.

There’s never a right answer to this as everyone’s lives are different

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I would offer them my silence for a peanut lion bar and a toffee crisp"

Ooo a tough negotiator.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would offer them my silence for a peanut lion bar and a toffee crisp"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes and no depends do they know you know

If not then stay clear if they do then

First I would sit the person down and give them a ultimatum that they got to come clean to them by x amount off time

And if they don’t then you will

Because here the thing if they found out and they could turn around and say your best friend new about it and didn’t even tell you

Now you lost your best friend people can be spiteful in direct hurt to someone

So you do it to protect yourself really ?

Not exactly but it’s put a person in a hard place

Ie your friend could take at as trying to medial in they realship and cut you out if they don’t want to blelve it

That’s why you say nothing

But on the other hand you never know how spiteful someone going to be

I'd like to think ( and I can only think ) that if my partner cheated i'd NEVER hold my best friend responsible. AND...... if my best friend had been put through that agony you can bet your bottom fucking dollar I am not going to shit on them. Sure we might have a discussion around the theme of Why didn't you tell me and I do hope I had it in me to believe that they were trying to protect me and my marriage.

Why should they take the blame.

I'd like to think that i treat a friend as a friend thick and thin .... "

Loves blinding I know first hand I was told I was warred someone wasn’t good for me I disowned family members the lot for tell me she wasn’t good for me she was toxic cut anyone out my life that disproved off this person

Only to end up finding what they sed was the truth years down the line after I was left broken for life

Took me years to rebuild relationship with family members and such

If you best friend thinks like that then you haven’t a hope they will cut you out they life and not bleve what your telling them

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"I would offer them my silence for a peanut lion bar and a toffee crisp

Ooo a tough negotiator. "

I was going to ask for a topic, but I know my worth!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously my opinion is going to be biased.

When I was younger I thought life was just right and wrong, black or white. Now that I'm older and have a lot more life experience I know life isn't that simple.

So no I would get involved.

There's more than one way to cheat.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"If you found out that your bestest best friends husband/wife/partner was on here and you knew that they were oblivios....

Would you tell them?"

I would speak to them first and suggest they tell them

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I would offer them my silence for a peanut lion bar and a toffee crisp

Ooo a tough negotiator.

I was going to ask for a topic, but I know my worth!"

You should hold out for a multi-pack at least.

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By *nly4funMan
over a year ago

Nottingham


"It would cause a lot of wide ranging hurt to so many people .. I've had long conversations with her, we have a huge mismatch in our sexusl needs now .. she doesn't think you can meet others just for sex without emotions becoming involved xx"

I’d give up if I were you matey. You’ll never convince the majority of those on here who take their moral high-ground and foist it on others!!

For these people, it’s like being a vegan ... they need to shove down other people’s throats just how morally superior they are. Staying and playing can actually be the more caring choice - it certainly isn’t always the sign of a philandering s.o.b.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe

Why maybe? "

Have to know the whole situation.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I don't know if I am dismayed... I think I am but I am definitely amazed at the number of people who think they are moral arbiters and have the right to change the course of something as important as a families future simply because they know something ....

On a swingers site too. The very people who think that monogamy isn't for them.

To say it's non of your business is just a cliche too easy to ignore. I'm more horrified by people's inability to think beyond their readiness to spill bad beans.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah I'd speak to the guilty party...

Which party is the guilty party ? What are they guilty of ? Whose morals are you expecting them to live by ?

The guilty party who's on here as a single person expecting to meet!

I'd be nosey and ask have they been successful with shagging! If they haven't been, I'd say you're better off with porn instead....

Why though ? I'm as nosey as hell but I could resist moralising with someone who is not following social mores... "

Just cos I said guilty party - does that say I'm moralistic by one word I used 'guilty'?

I'd still ask if they're successful. I haven't said I'd judge after been given an answer....neither would I tell the 'innocent' party!

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By *edtimefunMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Thanks for that, there are a lot of people that understand judging by the pms I get, just they're scared to post on here .. I have a really good marriage and don't want that to change and having this release I think helps me be a better, rounded husband !!

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

So for the ones who have said no

What would you them do if said friend came to you, absolutely devastated because they somehow found out....

Would you act as if you didn't know??

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"I would offer them my silence for a peanut lion bar and a toffee crisp

Ooo a tough negotiator.

I was going to ask for a topic, but I know my worth!

You should hold out for a multi-pack at least. "

Now that’s just greedy... but I like it

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By *nly4funMan
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Thanks for that, there are a lot of people that understand judging by the pms I get, just they're scared to post on here .. I have a really good marriage and don't want that to change and having this release I think helps me be a better, rounded husband !!"

You said it for us all fella

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well on all the married guys/ladies threads who are cheating. I've always supported them. So how contradicting would I be on this thread.....

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By *ougie321Man
over a year ago

Milford Haven

The truth is it’s none of anybody’s business, this is fab after all which is the question about on here.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"So for the ones who have said no

What would you them do if said friend came to you, absolutely devastated because they somehow found out....

Would you act as if you didn't know??"

I don't know until I'm faced with that situation. I would probably tell the truth as I knew it. That is what exactly I knew and why I didn't say anything. That's the thing with morals you have to accept the consequences of sticking to them.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I don't agree with cheating.

That wasn't the question tho..........

The question was .... Would I tell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So for the ones who have said no

What would you them do if said friend came to you, absolutely devastated because they somehow found out....

Would you act as if you didn't know??"

I'd ask both parties if they've spoken to each other. Skating around your question a bit but the answer would be, yes I would act that way.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

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By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
over a year ago

Essex

Ohh good Q.

Personally I’m not sure I could hurt my friend like that.

It easy to assume you know what’s going on behind the door but It’s rare anyone actually does. And too much at stake to play games with it.

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

"

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others."
it hurts like fuck to find that out

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others."

Okies........ Doesn't change my answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

"

Already beat you to that....

As wrote above

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others.

Okies........ Doesn't change my answer. "

If said friend found out through other means and came to you absolutely heartbroken and devastated....would you tell her you knew or act as though you didn't?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others."

With writing our own ...we easily miss anything above us, if we don't go back ...sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others.

Okies........ Doesn't change my answer.

If said friend found out through other means and came to you absolutely heartbroken and devastated....would you tell her you knew or act as though you didn't?"

Extra emotions you've put in there sparkle - you're killing us .... I'm out

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others.

Okies........ Doesn't change my answer.

If said friend found out through other means and came to you absolutely heartbroken and devastated....would you tell her you knew or act as though you didn't?

Extra emotions you've put in there sparkle - you're killing us .... I'm out "

Sorry

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others.

Okies........ Doesn't change my answer.

If said friend found out through other means and came to you absolutely heartbroken and devastated....would you tell her you knew or act as though you didn't?

Extra emotions you've put in there sparkle - you're killing us .... I'm out "

As I said earlier that's the thing with these kind of decisions. If you strongly believe something you need to be prepared to deal with the consequences of your actions (or inaction). The only thing you can do is be as true to yourself and your personal moral code as possible. You've nothing to reproach yourself with in that case

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others.

Okies........ Doesn't change my answer.

If said friend found out through other means and came to you absolutely heartbroken and devastated....would you tell her you knew or act as though you didn't?"

Neither, though it could be argued that I acted as if I didn't know anything.

What I know i'd do is comfort him or her and only answer truthfully if they asked outright if I knew. I wouldn't lie to them. Not mentioning knowing is not lying. In fact, my not telling them is of no consequence to what is now happening to him and her and any family and friends affected.

In short. I'm there for them. Suddenly saying ooo I knew all along doesn't help in fact it would make things one hell of a lot worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Believe it or not...

There is no right or wrong answer here...

I was just asking what YOU would do under the circumstances."

I think it's one of those where you're damned if you and damned if you don't x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*do*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others.

Okies........ Doesn't change my answer.

If said friend found out through other means and came to you absolutely heartbroken and devastated....would you tell her you knew or act as though you didn't?

Neither, though it could be argued that I acted as if I didn't know anything.

What I know i'd do is comfort him or her and only answer truthfully if they asked outright if I knew. I wouldn't lie to them. Not mentioning knowing is not lying. In fact, my not telling them is of no consequence to what is now happening to him and her and any family and friends affected.

In short. I'm there for them. Suddenly saying ooo I knew all along doesn't help in fact it would make things one hell of a lot worse. "

This for me too, mentioning I knew after the fact won't change anything, I would just be there to support.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

No. Not my business

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"Nobody and I mean *nobody* knows what goes on in other people's relationships, even a best friend who tells you everything.

"

Absolutely this

Not your responsibility to police someone else's relationship.

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others.

Okies........ Doesn't change my answer.

If said friend found out through other means and came to you absolutely heartbroken and devastated....would you tell her you knew or act as though you didn't?

Neither, though it could be argued that I acted as if I didn't know anything.

What I know i'd do is comfort him or her and only answer truthfully if they asked outright if I knew. I wouldn't lie to them. Not mentioning knowing is not lying. In fact, my not telling them is of no consequence to what is now happening to him and her and any family and friends affected.

In short. I'm there for them. Suddenly saying ooo I knew all along doesn't help in fact it would make things one hell of a lot worse.

This for me too, mentioning I knew after the fact won't change anything, I would just be there to support."

But wouldn't you feel a little guilt knowing you knew...??

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others.

Okies........ Doesn't change my answer.

If said friend found out through other means and came to you absolutely heartbroken and devastated....would you tell her you knew or act as though you didn't?

Neither, though it could be argued that I acted as if I didn't know anything.

What I know i'd do is comfort him or her and only answer truthfully if they asked outright if I knew. I wouldn't lie to them. Not mentioning knowing is not lying. In fact, my not telling them is of no consequence to what is now happening to him and her and any family and friends affected.

In short. I'm there for them. Suddenly saying ooo I knew all along doesn't help in fact it would make things one hell of a lot worse.

This for me too, mentioning I knew after the fact won't change anything, I would just be there to support.

But wouldn't you feel a little guilt knowing you knew...??"

Guilt is an unavoidable side effect of the human condition

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others.

Okies........ Doesn't change my answer.

If said friend found out through other means and came to you absolutely heartbroken and devastated....would you tell her you knew or act as though you didn't?

Neither, though it could be argued that I acted as if I didn't know anything.

What I know i'd do is comfort him or her and only answer truthfully if they asked outright if I knew. I wouldn't lie to them. Not mentioning knowing is not lying. In fact, my not telling them is of no consequence to what is now happening to him and her and any family and friends affected.

In short. I'm there for them. Suddenly saying ooo I knew all along doesn't help in fact it would make things one hell of a lot worse.

This for me too, mentioning I knew after the fact won't change anything, I would just be there to support.

But wouldn't you feel a little guilt knowing you knew...??

Guilt is an unavoidable side effect of the human condition"

Very true.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others.

Okies........ Doesn't change my answer.

If said friend found out through other means and came to you absolutely heartbroken and devastated....would you tell her you knew or act as though you didn't?

Neither, though it could be argued that I acted as if I didn't know anything.

What I know i'd do is comfort him or her and only answer truthfully if they asked outright if I knew. I wouldn't lie to them. Not mentioning knowing is not lying. In fact, my not telling them is of no consequence to what is now happening to him and her and any family and friends affected.

In short. I'm there for them. Suddenly saying ooo I knew all along doesn't help in fact it would make things one hell of a lot worse.

This for me too, mentioning I knew after the fact won't change anything, I would just be there to support.

But wouldn't you feel a little guilt knowing you knew...??"

No.

What have I to feel guilt for ?

What was my intent?

My intent might have been to ensure her happiness or at least hope that things would soon blow over etc .....

There are so many ifs and buts

There is little to be achieved by carrying tales ......

I might tell someone if their partner was planning to kill them or steal all their wordly goods ...... but a dalliance ? Nah ...... no way.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The way I see it Sparkle.... my friend would be no less a friend in my eyes because of what their partner did ...... I wouldn't be feeling sorrow or pity for my friend either. Ignorance can be bliss.

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others.

Okies........ Doesn't change my answer.

If said friend found out through other means and came to you absolutely heartbroken and devastated....would you tell her you knew or act as though you didn't?

Neither, though it could be argued that I acted as if I didn't know anything.

What I know i'd do is comfort him or her and only answer truthfully if they asked outright if I knew. I wouldn't lie to them. Not mentioning knowing is not lying. In fact, my not telling them is of no consequence to what is now happening to him and her and any family and friends affected.

In short. I'm there for them. Suddenly saying ooo I knew all along doesn't help in fact it would make things one hell of a lot worse.

This for me too, mentioning I knew after the fact won't change anything, I would just be there to support.

But wouldn't you feel a little guilt knowing you knew...??

No.

What have I to feel guilt for ?

What was my intent?

My intent might have been to ensure her happiness or at least hope that things would soon blow over etc .....

There are so many ifs and buts

There is little to be achieved by carrying tales ......

I might tell someone if their partner was planning to kill them or steal all their wordly goods ...... but a dalliance ? Nah ...... no way. "

As I said there is no right or wrong answer. Everyone will have different opinions on this.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No right or wrong answer according to some

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"The way I see it Sparkle.... my friend would be no less a friend in my eyes because of what their partner did ...... I wouldn't be feeling sorrow or pity for my friend either. Ignorance can be bliss. "

I get where you are coming from. I just know if it were my best friend and they asked if I knew and I said yes, that would devastate them more because I know I couldn't lie.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

My bestest best friend ever I would tell if I knew 100% he was cheating.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 06/08/21 18:16:50]

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"The way I see it Sparkle.... my friend would be no less a friend in my eyes because of what their partner did ...... I wouldn't be feeling sorrow or pity for my friend either. Ignorance can be bliss.

I get where you are coming from. I just know if it were my best friend and they asked if I knew and I said yes, that would devastate them more because I know I couldn't lie."

Exactly. I've known my best friend since we were 3 and 4. We were practically inseparable growing up .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"My bestest best friend ever I would tell if I knew 100% he was cheating."

Would you tell him if you knew 100% she was cheating?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"The way I see it Sparkle.... my friend would be no less a friend in my eyes because of what their partner did ...... I wouldn't be feeling sorrow or pity for my friend either. Ignorance can be bliss.

I get where you are coming from. I just know if it were my best friend and they asked if I knew and I said yes, that would devastate them more because I know I couldn't lie."

I agree. They'd be chowked but hopefully when the dust settled they'd see you for the great friend you have been , still are and realise that you were in a predicament that you handled as best you could.

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

My best friend yes

Anyone else no

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"My best friend yes

Anyone else no "

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Here's a question ....... hypothetical as the original ...... maybe a scenario more than a question.

Your good friend has a partner who is cheating on them.

You warn the partner and tell them they must tell your friend

Maybe you tell your friend.

Your friend confronts their partner.

Their partner argues and fights and finally leaves.

The family are devastated. The kids are going through terrible times.

Your friend blames YOU. They say that if only you'd minded your own business she/he'd still be married.....

They ask you WHY? WHY did you break them ?

You lose your friend.

Would you still think your decision to play at moral guardian was for the best ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Here's a question ....... hypothetical as the original ...... maybe a scenario more than a question.

Your good friend has a partner who is cheating on them.

You warn the partner and tell them they must tell your friend

Maybe you tell your friend.

Your friend confronts their partner.

Their partner argues and fights and finally leaves.

The family are devastated. The kids are going through terrible times.

Your friend blames YOU. They say that if only you'd minded your own business she/he'd still be married.....

They ask you WHY? WHY did you break them ?

You lose your friend.

Would you still think your decision to play at moral guardian was for the best ?"

Granny, moral guardians always think their decision is for the best

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

[Removed by poster at 06/08/21 18:29:07]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

So do I as long as they are minding their own morals and not everyone elses.

Amazing how many see it as a badge of honour to tell.

I blame the schools.

And Aunt Lydia .....

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 06/08/21 18:30:43]

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"[Removed by poster at 06/08/21 18:29:07]"

While I am a bit of a truth fanatic, this is one where I would not play fate.

1. I do not think we ever know all the facts.

2. I would not want to be responsible for (any) consequences.

Irrespective of the potential of losing a friend, no, I would not disclose.

If I knew somebody had a terminal disease I would not disclose that to their loved ones either. I do not think I have the right.

I want to add that many years ago I was entrusted with a massive family secret, not to be told to anybody. I stuck to my promise and as a result, (emotionally) lost one of my siblings for they would not forgive me for keeping it a secret. They do no longer speak to me.

I can live with that - I could not live with having betrayed the confidence of the person to whom I gave the promise.

Maybe I am wrong....who knows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn’t say anything, don’t judge anyone,

Everything is got the reason, being on here doesn’t mean cheating on someone.

Mine friends relationships are not mine relationships, nothing to do with me.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I agree wholeheartedly Aphrodite.

Also your siblings choice to cast you out is their decision and was out of your control in any case.

In my book - you made the right choice.

Although I don't know any of the circumstances I consider your sibling's action to be a wholly selfish one.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"[Removed by poster at 06/08/21 18:29:07]

While I am a bit of a truth fanatic, this is one where I would not play fate.

1. I do not think we ever know all the facts.

2. I would not want to be responsible for (any) consequences.

Irrespective of the potential of losing a friend, no, I would not disclose.

If I knew somebody had a terminal disease I would not disclose that to their loved ones either. I do not think I have the right.

I want to add that many years ago I was entrusted with a massive family secret, not to be told to anybody. I stuck to my promise and as a result, (emotionally) lost one of my siblings for they would not forgive me for keeping it a secret. They do no longer speak to me.

I can live with that - I could not live with having betrayed the confidence of the person to whom I gave the promise.

Maybe I am wrong....who knows."

None of us, only you .

I'm currently faced with a similar situation. A close relative has just died. I knew more about their life situation than their children who they made it clear they didn't want to know. The children obviously now know. I'm keeping my mouth shut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm happy to sit on the fence for this one.....

I only wanna know if they've met anyone on here and I'd be anonymous when I ask!

The situation is all too heavy for me...

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Here's a question ....... hypothetical as the original ...... maybe a scenario more than a question.

Your good friend has a partner who is cheating on them.

You warn the partner and tell them they must tell your friend

Maybe you tell your friend.

Your friend confronts their partner.

Their partner argues and fights and finally leaves.

The family are devastated. The kids are going through terrible times.

Your friend blames YOU. They say that if only you'd minded your own business she/he'd still be married.....

They ask you WHY? WHY did you break them ?

You lose your friend.

Would you still think your decision to play at moral guardian was for the best ?"

Hypothetical answer...yes I would.

I suppose all this boils down to just how close a friendship you have with said friend.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I agree wholeheartedly Aphrodite.

Also your siblings choice to cast you out is their decision and was out of your control in any case.

In my book - you made the right choice.

Although I don't know any of the circumstances I consider your sibling's action to be a wholly selfish one. "

Thanks, GC - I don't know, nor do I know if they will ever speak to me again. You are right in saying that they are a very self centred person in their own right and they cannot see the moral dilemma (mine) of not telling them at the time. But I can live with my decision even though it is incredibly sad as I am much more of a family person than comes across on Fabs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most likely yes. Especially if they already had doubts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hell yes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My best friend yes, because I owe them that loyalty. But anyone else, nope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My best friend yes, because I owe them that loyalty. But anyone else, nope. "

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

This get's more interesting.

So are you agreeing that someone who doesn't tell a friend that their husband is fucking around lacks loyalty ?

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I know for a fact that if I were to discover my best friends partner on here and there was evidence they had clearly had sex with others, they would be grateful I told them and their bags would be packed...no ifs, buts or maybes.

As I said I think it all depends on the level of friendship. My bestie has been there for me and I for them through thick and thin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This get's more interesting.

So are you agreeing that someone who doesn't tell a friend that their husband is fucking around lacks loyalty ?"

No. Because my relationship with my bestie and our inner direction of what we need out of it, has no reflection on my other friendships or other people's way of dealing with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Christ you're really chomping on this Granny....

Have you been in this position before?

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I am gathering we are all decent people who do not take this decision of telling or not telling lightly.

I guess we come from whether loyalty to a friend overrides the qualms of playing God/ fate with all the possible consequences?

Maybe there really is no right or wrong?

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Christ you're really chomping on this Granny....

Have you been in this position before?"

Didn't know it would turn into such a discussion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you found out that your bestest best friends husband/wife/partner was on here and you knew that they were oblivios....

Would you tell them?"

Interesting.....

If treat it like anything else in that relationship, honestly. I'm annoyingly honest with everyone I'm close to, I just don't lie. If it was someone I considered a friend, I'd be honest with them, but point out that I didn't know the context of why they were on here. No elaborating, just, they're on FAB.

While I understand people worrying about the hurt this will cause, it's what's been done that is causing the pain, not being told about it. Why should someone's else's dishonesty mean I have to be dishonest too? Being lied to by one person close to you would be bad enough, but your partner AND your friend?

No thanks.

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By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

The guy one of my best mates had been seeing for about 9 months messaged me on here. The first thing I done was message her

R

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This get's more interesting.

So are you agreeing that someone who doesn't tell a friend that their husband is fucking around lacks loyalty ?"

I wouldn't ever judge anyone else for it or even think of them as disloyal. I don't know their situation, and I would respect if they wanted to keep it to themselves. But something I feel plays a big part in my friendships is loyalty, and if I knew my best friend was getting cheated on and I kept quiet I would feel like I am lacking loyalty towards her. That's not a reflection on anyone else who decides to keep quiet. That's my personal feelings on the subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Christ you're really chomping on this Granny....

Have you been in this position before?

Didn't know it would turn into such a discussion "

Yeah there's a lot going on ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The ORIGINAL question was ...... would we tell that their partner was on here.....

That's all.

Who is to say they've met someone ?

Who is to say they've had sex ?

I did say further down that what if their profile showed verifications showing they had met and had sex with others.

Okies........ Doesn't change my answer.

If said friend found out through other means and came to you absolutely heartbroken and devastated....would you tell her you knew or act as though you didn't?

Extra emotions you've put in there sparkle - you're killing us .... I'm out

As I said earlier that's the thing with these kind of decisions. If you strongly believe something you need to be prepared to deal with the consequences of your actions (or inaction). The only thing you can do is be as true to yourself and your personal moral code as possible. You've nothing to reproach yourself with in that case "

Love this answer and so true!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

At the level of friendship defined by the OP I definitely would say yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am gathering we are all decent people who do not take this decision of telling or not telling lightly.

I guess we come from whether loyalty to a friend overrides the qualms of playing God/ fate with all the possible consequences?

Maybe there really is no right or wrong? "

Do you think that people would still like and cheat if they knew for certain they'd be found out. I think that the people who act like that are the ones playing god, not you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What if it was the best friend on here, would anyone be in such a rush to tell the partner of your friend, or would your loyalty to your best friend Trump your morals?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"What if it was the best friend on here, would anyone be in such a rush to tell the partner of your friend, or would your loyalty to your best friend Trump your morals?"

I asked a similar question earlier. I could be wrong but I don't think anybody has answered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What if it was the best friend on here, would anyone be in such a rush to tell the partner of your friend, or would your loyalty to your best friend Trump your morals?"

Morality isn't a currency to be traced and valued against other things. It is, or it isn't. Morality is one of the few things that must be black and white.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

No I absolutely wouldn’t because it’s none of my damned business.

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By *mma29Couple
over a year ago

wirral

I'd definately tell them, I'd want to know if the shoe was on the other foot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This get's more interesting.

So are you agreeing that someone who doesn't tell a friend that their husband is fucking around lacks loyalty ?"

If I suddenly found out that you kept something like this from your best friend I honestly wouldn't care enough to judge your character. I don't know you Granny. I don't know your reasons for keeping quiet. It's none of my business. But I know myself, and I know my best friend and I know why I want to pick loyalty.

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"What if it was the best friend on here, would anyone be in such a rush to tell the partner of your friend, or would your loyalty to your best friend Trump your morals?

I asked a similar question earlier. I could be wrong but I don't think anybody has answered."

I did and said yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What if it was the best friend on here, would anyone be in such a rush to tell the partner of your friend, or would your loyalty to your best friend Trump your morals?

Morality isn't a currency to be traced and valued against other things. It is, or it isn't. Morality is one of the few things that must be black and white. "

What is seen to be moral all has to do with the culture you live in. Morals are fluid they are not a fixed.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill


"Nope.

I might speak to the person doing what I perceived to be the cheating and tell them to sort themselves out though. It would depend

"

Yes, I’d do this. Not the person being cheated on. The shock is immense and I don’t want to be responsible for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What if it was the best friend on here, would anyone be in such a rush to tell the partner of your friend, or would your loyalty to your best friend Trump your morals?

Morality isn't a currency to be traced and valued against other things. It is, or it isn't. Morality is one of the few things that must be black and white.

What is seen to be moral all has to do with the culture you live in. Morals are fluid they are not a fixed."

Morality is a structure of beliefs that guide and restrict your behaviour. While there may be variations across cultures, they essentially stem from early religious doctrine. I think you're getting confused between morals and behaviours.

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

This has been a very interesting topic. Good to see others points of views and reasons x

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"This has been a very interesting topic. Good to see others points of views and reasons x"

I agree, good post

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"My bestest best friend ever I would tell if I knew 100% he was cheating.

Would you tell him if you knew 100% she was cheating?"

No. She's my friend, he isn't.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"My bestest best friend ever I would tell if I knew 100% he was cheating.

Would you tell him if you knew 100% she was cheating?

No. She's my friend, he isn't.

"

I really doubt very much she would cheat on him though.

I don't think he would cheat on her either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What if it was the best friend on here, would anyone be in such a rush to tell the partner of your friend, or would your loyalty to your best friend Trump your morals?

Morality isn't a currency to be traced and valued against other things. It is, or it isn't. Morality is one of the few things that must be black and white.

What is seen to be moral all has to do with the culture you live in. Morals are fluid they are not a fixed.

Morality is a structure of beliefs that guide and restrict your behaviour. While there may be variations across cultures, they essentially stem from early religious doctrine. I think you're getting confused between morals and behaviours."

No I'm not getting them confused the two are linked. This is why you behaviour is either deemed moral or immoral or amoral.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

And what do you do after you’ve told them? Go home, pat yourself on the back, sit down and light up a big cigar and say ‘well done me, that’s my good deed done for the day’

On the flip side your ‘mate’ now has a broken family. Kids that are torn between their parents. Their schooling suffers as a consequence. Both parties spend more time trying to fight out what’s best for their kids while the whole time they’re really being neglected. Then the brownie point scoring in the courts start with both sets of solicitors rubbing their hands and drawing it out longer than is necessary whilst fleecing both parties.

Nah not for me

All these folk saying ‘I know my mate’, you don’t. You think you do just cause you went to school with them or went on a group holiday 5 years ago. None of you ‘really’ know what goes on in your friends head and I’m sure none of them want to go through any of this.

You’re not god. You’re not your ‘friends’ god. All you’re doing is taking advantage of a shitty situation and turning it on you and how great a ‘friend’ you are.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"And what do you do after you’ve told them? Go home, pat yourself on the back, sit down and light up a big cigar and say ‘well done me, that’s my good deed done for the day’

On the flip side your ‘mate’ now has a broken family. Kids that are torn between their parents. Their schooling suffers as a consequence. Both parties spend more time trying to fight out what’s best for their kids while the whole time they’re really being neglected. Then the brownie point scoring in the courts start with both sets of solicitors rubbing their hands and drawing it out longer than is necessary whilst fleecing both parties.

Nah not for me

All these folk saying ‘I know my mate’, you don’t. You think you do just cause you went to school with them or went on a group holiday 5 years ago. None of you ‘really’ know what goes on in your friends head and I’m sure none of them want to go through any of this.

You’re not god. You’re not your ‘friends’ god. All you’re doing is taking advantage of a shitty situation and turning it on you and how great a ‘friend’ you are. "

Absolutely this . No matter how much you think you know someone you don’t. Can’t believe the amount of people who’d stick their nose in other people’s business. Not for me.

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By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"And what do you do after you’ve told them? Go home, pat yourself on the back, sit down and light up a big cigar and say ‘well done me, that’s my good deed done for the day’

On the flip side your ‘mate’ now has a broken family. Kids that are torn between their parents. Their schooling suffers as a consequence. Both parties spend more time trying to fight out what’s best for their kids while the whole time they’re really being neglected. Then the brownie point scoring in the courts start with both sets of solicitors rubbing their hands and drawing it out longer than is necessary whilst fleecing both parties.

Nah not for me

All these folk saying ‘I know my mate’, you don’t. You think you do just cause you went to school with them or went on a group holiday 5 years ago. None of you ‘really’ know what goes on in your friends head and I’m sure none of them want to go through any of this.

You’re not god. You’re not your ‘friends’ god. All you’re doing is taking advantage of a shitty situation and turning it on you and how great a ‘friend’ you are. "

I know my mate very well. I done the right thing telling her. She was thankful I did. I'd do it again and would expect the same of them. A friend who keeps something like that from you isn't a true friend

R

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I am gathering we are all decent people who do not take this decision of telling or not telling lightly.

I guess we come from whether loyalty to a friend overrides the qualms of playing God/ fate with all the possible consequences?

Maybe there really is no right or wrong?

Do you think that people would still like and cheat if they knew for certain they'd be found out. I think that the people who act like that are the ones playing god, not you."

Maybe you are right, maybe they would not cheat, who knows.

Now, if my friend asked me if I knew that their partner was cheating... that would be a real issue for me as I would not lie. I would say my friend needs to speak to their partner not me.

But there is a difference for me in initiating the conversation about what I may have seen. Does that make any sense?

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

No

As I wouldnt want to be blamed for there break up.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"And what do you do after you’ve told them? Go home, pat yourself on the back, sit down and light up a big cigar and say ‘well done me, that’s my good deed done for the day’

On the flip side your ‘mate’ now has a broken family. Kids that are torn between their parents. Their schooling suffers as a consequence. Both parties spend more time trying to fight out what’s best for their kids while the whole time they’re really being neglected. Then the brownie point scoring in the courts start with both sets of solicitors rubbing their hands and drawing it out longer than is necessary whilst fleecing both parties.

Nah not for me

All these folk saying ‘I know my mate’, you don’t. You think you do just cause you went to school with them or went on a group holiday 5 years ago. None of you ‘really’ know what goes on in your friends head and I’m sure none of them want to go through any of this.

You’re not god. You’re not your ‘friends’ god. All you’re doing is taking advantage of a shitty situation and turning it on you and how great a ‘friend’ you are.

I know my mate very well. I done the right thing telling her. She was thankful I did. I'd do it again and would expect the same of them. A friend who keeps something like that from you isn't a true friend

R"

Well done you. You must be very proud of yourself

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"What if it was the best friend on here, would anyone be in such a rush to tell the partner of your friend, or would your loyalty to your best friend Trump your morals?

I asked a similar question earlier. I could be wrong but I don't think anybody has answered.

I did and said yes."

So you did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

100% I would. My bestfriend has already told me to tell her if I ever see her boyfriend on here.

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By *parkle1974 OP   Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"And what do you do after you’ve told them? Go home, pat yourself on the back, sit down and light up a big cigar and say ‘well done me, that’s my good deed done for the day’

On the flip side your ‘mate’ now has a broken family. Kids that are torn between their parents. Their schooling suffers as a consequence. Both parties spend more time trying to fight out what’s best for their kids while the whole time they’re really being neglected. Then the brownie point scoring in the courts start with both sets of solicitors rubbing their hands and drawing it out longer than is necessary whilst fleecing both parties.

Nah not for me

All these folk saying ‘I know my mate’, you don’t. You think you do just cause you went to school with them or went on a group holiday 5 years ago. None of you ‘really’ know what goes on in your friends head and I’m sure none of them want to go through any of this.

You’re not god. You’re not your ‘friends’ god. All you’re doing is taking advantage of a shitty situation and turning it on you and how great a ‘friend’ you are. "

Trust me, I know my best friend as they know me inside out so certainly wouldn't be taking advantage.

My best friend and I are on exactly the same page regarding "cheating" and know that if we had 100% proof of it, we would expect each other to tell.

As I said, it all depends on the closeness and bond you have with said friend.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I am gathering we are all decent people who do not take this decision of telling or not telling lightly.

I guess we come from whether loyalty to a friend overrides the qualms of playing God/ fate with all the possible consequences?

Maybe there really is no right or wrong?

Do you think that people would still like and cheat if they knew for certain they'd be found out. I think that the people who act like that are the ones playing god, not you.

Maybe you are right, maybe they would not cheat, who knows.

Now, if my friend asked me if I knew that their partner was cheating... that would be a real issue for me as I would not lie. I would say my friend needs to speak to their partner not me.

But there is a difference for me in initiating the conversation about what I may have seen. Does that make any sense? "
Meant to add that we all have to make our decisions and own those decisions, live with the consequences.

I do not think not saying anything is any more loyal or disloyal than interfering.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My line is emotional adultery

I can cope with him fucking randoms

I couldn't cope to accept he had found someone else on our emotional wavelength

Hence why we keep meets to one offs

He knows I keep a profile here

I know he keeps profiles elsewhere

Do we tell our friends?

No

It's our business

We are a unit

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