FabSwingers.com forum: Irritating bandits

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Imagine you are a burglar. Except……. You don’t steal for monetary gain. You only steal items to mildly inconvenience your victims. You can take two things from the house. What do you take?

My two would be

The toilet seats

Any plugs from electrical items.

Have fun people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Batteries from toys

The labels off tins

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

You're not having my loo seat Mr! It's amazing!

I'd take all the charger cables and the base of the kettle.

I'd feel like such a bastard though.....

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By *lice MaliceWoman
over a year ago

The Facility

Toilet rolls and light bulbs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuses from fuse box

Coffee machine

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Batteries from toys

The labels off tins"

Labels off tins is inspired.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Telly remote and phone chargers

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By *atty CoramWoman
over a year ago

Wimbledon

all the forks

mwahahahahahahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You're not having my loo seat Mr! It's amazing!

I'd take all the charger cables and the base of the kettle.

I'd feel like such a bastard though....."

The kettle base! You monster!

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By *ornyallday2026Man
over a year ago

Nelson way

Pull cord from the bathroom lights.

Little yellow keys for opening up the gas and leccy meter boxes.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"You're not having my loo seat Mr! It's amazing!

I'd take all the charger cables and the base of the kettle.

I'd feel like such a bastard though.....

The kettle base! You monster!

So spank me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Fuses from fuse box

Coffee machine

Between you and posh you’ve destroyed somebody’s morning. Haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Toilet rolls and light bulbs. "

Loo roll is savage behaviour

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By *drian HardthrobMan
over a year ago

Worcester

All the shoe laces and door knobs

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

All the light bulbs.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Their chargers for their phones .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All the shoe laces and door knobs

Shoe laces is good. When I asked my mates this, one suggested all the left shoes

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By *andsome HandMan
over a year ago

roundabout

"Fuses from fuse box

Coffee machine

Damn, best me to the fuse box though I was going to take the whole box

Umm.....all mattresses and flushing mechanism from the toilet

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"All the shoe laces and door knobs

Shoe laces is good. When I asked my mates this, one suggested all the left shoes

And you call ME a monster?

I'd hunt down anyone who stole any of my shoes!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Fuses from fuse box

Coffee machine

Damn, best me to the fuse box though I was going to take the whole box

Umm.....all mattresses and flushing mechanism from the toilet "

Repeat answers are good

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By *andsome HandMan
over a year ago

roundabout

"Fuses from fuse box

Coffee machine

Damn, best me to the fuse box though I was going to take the whole box

Umm.....all mattresses and flushing mechanism from the toilet

Repeat answers are good "

You're not wrong but I stand by my choices

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By *ervent_fervourMan
over a year ago

Halifax

Door handles, while also glueing all the locks for doors and windows. Might sabotage the water supply so there's no running water.

Mwhahah..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All the shoe laces and door knobs

Shoe laces is good. When I asked my mates this, one suggested all the left shoes

And you call ME a monster?

I'd hunt down anyone who stole any of my shoes!

Don’t shoot the messsnger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Door handles

Lube

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’d like to point out that every single one of you that’s posted so far is a total bastard.

I love it

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Flush handles for the loo and teabags

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Flush handles for the loo and teabags"
I love how people have made a beeline for any kind of brewing possibilities ??

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Light switches and door handles.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Light switches and door handles. "

I'd steal your rice.

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

All the left shoes and right socks

WiFi router power cable

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By *iss3BWoman
over a year ago

north down

Housekeys and Ur wd-40

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All the left shoes and right socks

WiFi router power cable

I don’t have right socks. I just have socks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Housekeys and Ur wd-40

You are fascinated by my WD40

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Light switches and door handles.

I'd steal your rice."

Noooooooo

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Their House keys

All the sharp knives

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I'd wash my balls I. The sink and rub toothbrush on my butt hole

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By *andsome HandMan
over a year ago

roundabout

Alternative answer

Roof slates and front door

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Light switches and door handles.

I'd steal your rice.

Noooooooo

You love me really

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Would doors be too much?

If so, sellotape. I can get into a right rage when I can't remember where I put it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Would doors be too much?

If so, sellotape. I can get into a right rage when I can't remember where I put it "

Not too much at all

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I'd replace all the chargers with non compatible ones.

Steal all the loo roll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TV remote

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd replace all the chargers with non compatible ones.

Steal all the loo roll"

I think loo roll is one of the most cruel

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By *iss3BWoman
over a year ago

north down

"Housekeys and Ur wd-40

You are fascinated by my WD40

If I take it nothing to hide behind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d put gravy in the coffee

Salt in the sugar

Steal the teabags

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

All the teaspoons.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’d put gravy in the coffee

Salt in the sugar

Steal the teabags"

You sir. Are a bastard. I salute you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Toilet flush handle

The ladies favourite sex toy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d put gravy in the coffee

Salt in the sugar

Steal the teabags

You sir. Are a bastard. I salute you.

I return said salute, one who spots a fellow bastard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not taking anything you rotters but will swap all the salt and sugar around.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not taking anything you rotters but will swap all the salt and sugar around.

If you aren’t going to steal anything, at least fill the shower head with Bisto too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The condom stash.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not taking anything you rotters but will swap all the salt and sugar around.

If you aren’t going to steal anything, at least fill the shower head with Bisto too

Ok then, and washing up liquid in the kettle

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

I'd steal the coffee and all the alcohol, but also swap the hot and cold markers round on all the taps, rearrange all the tins / herbs & spices so that the labels spell out rude words and disconnect the refill on the toilet

I want these people to be ANNOYED

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

Every single key.

Mobile phones.

Hah!

Gbat

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

What I'm taking from this thread is that anyone who comes to my house needs close supervision and a proper frisking before they leave

(My phone changed frisking to drinking. Also this for some people

)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What I'm taking from this thread is that anyone who comes to my house needs close supervision and a proper frisking before they leave

(My phone changed frisking to drinking. Also this for some people

Just because I’m a scouser….. oh I’ve just realised I’ve started a thread about theft

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By *atchusplay1000Couple
over a year ago

Sutton Coldfield

Hair dryer.

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By *aFemmeCoquetteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in the middle not the.....

Fuses from plugs and all the batteries from everything

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Fuses from plugs and all the batteries from everything"

Fueses are brilliant. Better than me taking the plugs. You’ve given false hope

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"What I'm taking from this thread is that anyone who comes to my house needs close supervision and a proper frisking before they leave

(My phone changed frisking to drinking. Also this for some people

)

Just because I’m a scouser….. oh I’ve just realised I’ve started a thread about theft

Yep.... you have!

And no.... that's not why I'd be watching you closely and frisking you. Not at all

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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago

south west

Half of each pair of socks.

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By *artorialMan
over a year ago

weymouth

Fuses out of plugs and fused spurs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Half of each pair of socks."
wouldn’t work for me. All my socks are identical. You’d just steal half my socks. More of a very mild inconvenience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Change the WiFi password

Remove all chargers/cables and batteries from everything imaginable, even the sex toys!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Change the WiFi password

Remove all chargers/cables and batteries from everything imaginable, even the sex toys!

Cruel.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I wouldn't steal their keys, I'd just exchange them for similar ones that don't fit anything, and order a different takeaway to be delivered to their house every night

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wouldn't steal their keys, I'd just exchange them for similar ones that don't fit anything, and order a different takeaway to be delivered to their house every night

Disgraceful.

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By *007ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Router.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just replace their stuff with basic brands.

Oh what's this? Andrex toilet paper? Well now you've got Mr Singh's finest basic brand, sandpaper might be less of a struggle.

Nice ps4 you've got there, hows about a basic brand handheld sonic battery powered game instead?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the remote controls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the jars lids in the kitchen/pantry

The carpets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Silica Gel packets from new clothes. Over time garments may develop mold spores.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I’d nick all the doorknobs or nick the keyholes

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I'd Change all the times on the clocks to exactly 1 hr later.

Swap the sugar for salt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bath and sink plugs and the fuses from inside electric plugs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Any more bastards on the forum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Light bulbs and the tin opener

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And all their left socks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m stealing all the phone chargers and the TV remotes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the E and S letters from the Scrabble set.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuses from fuse box

Coffee machine

Between you and posh you’ve destroyed somebody’s morning. Haha"

I can be devious lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Car keys (just the keys, not the car). And all the door handles in the house

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Seems to be a lot of people who’d take door handles. I’d leave the handles and take the square bar from between the handles

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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

Pizza cutter... everyone hates using a knife for pizza..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Pizza cutter... everyone hates using a knife for pizza.."

Genius

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

London sometimes

"Pizza cutter... everyone hates using a knife for pizza.."

Scissors are best for cutting pizza

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

London sometimes

I wouldn’t steal anything, just change the wifi password

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id tske every single towel and also the lightbulb out the fridge!

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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

I'd also take the smart speaker.. we'd all be lost not knowing when our parcel will be delivered or has been delivered.. and I like having someone to speak to now and again..

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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

"Pizza cutter... everyone hates using a knife for pizza..

Scissors are best for cutting pizza "

Thats so wrong.. all the topping would come off.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

London sometimes

"Pizza cutter... everyone hates using a knife for pizza..

Scissors are best for cutting pizza

Thats so wrong.. all the topping would come off. "

It works really well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take 5 letters off the laptop including N and M, leave 4 but only steal the N

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seems to be a lot of people who’d take door handles. I’d leave the handles and take the square bar from between the handles

You are a next level bond baddie

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Cumbria and Galloway

All toilet paper and shoe laces.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Light bulbs

Tin opener

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Bloody hell. That’s a hell of a bump

I’m taking all the lids from the Tupperware

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Cumbria and Galloway

... and sprinkle sharp sand into their lube/vaseline.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn’t steal anything, just change the wifi password "

There’s just no need for that…….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WiFi router

Toilet Paper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of their trousers and lower garments. I want to see dangley willies looking for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of every pair of things.

Or their toilet paper.

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By *andsome HandMan
over a year ago

roundabout

The left one of every item of footwear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be away with the shower head, all plugs for bath and basins and wi-fi router

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