FabSwingers.com forum: Being polite

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I am just wondering why I don't get many replies when messaging people, I am aware my profile doesn't have a face pic but it does state I'm willing to send them and I am.also verified. I usually try to pick something in the other person's bio to mention and talk about and never mention sex or anything else in a message unless the subject is breached by the ther person...

Am I being too nice, I don't know how else to get a message...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read the site FAQ's.

It is not considered rude or impolite to not reply to a message.

Some women and couples get hundreds of nessages every day - can you imagine how impossible it would be for them to reply to every one just to say 'no thanks'

And let's face it, would an inbox full of 'no, thank yous' make you feel any better?

I doubt it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I suppose theres that way of seeing it, thanks...I just hear that so many people get abuse in the first message or dick pics etc...I justbtry my hardest not to be like that, that's all.

I never mean anything I post on here to upset or wind anyone up btw...

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

We always reply to messages even if it’s a thanks but no thanks. But then again we don’t get many messages even when our profile isn’t hidden. However I know friends of ours have 100+ to deal with so I wouldn’t assume that they have the time to respond to every message. Don’t take it personally just carry on as you are x

Mrs J

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Most people look at profiles before deciding to reply or not and they may decide you have nothing in common or they aren't attracted by your bio or your age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You haven't asked for profile advice, so I won't give it, but women usually check a profile before deciding whether to open a message, so that's often the best place to start if you're not having much luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like giving people fake hopes. That's cruel. When I'm active my inbox keeps filling and I cannot keep up. I read all but I admit I delete 99%. I'll get to all... eventually.

I believe my time and the person who messaged is better spent elsewhere. Message deleted = let's move on.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Ask yourself a very simple question OP. “Is my profile and the pics that I have public the best representation of me?”

If you think it isn’t then change that. Remember the solution to most problems in life lies within and that trying to change the world is much much harder than trying to change yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some women get hundreds of messages a day.

So for them to reply to all isn’t really possible,

Face pics are more important to most people, and to be honest most people don’t broadcast the fact they are on fab so being recognised shouldn’t be a problem.

Be patient fab lots of photos and enjoy the perve and the chase.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You haven't asked for profile advice, so I won't give it, but women usually check a profile before deciding whether to open a message, so that's often the best place to start if you're not having much luck."

If I was to ask for profile advice what would you suggest? And please don't tear me to shreds lol

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Let's assume you have messaged me Kris.

I read the message. It's polite.

I look at your profile to see what else I can pick up about you.

1. You are hungover and proud to announce this in your status and also that you are horny and you go ..... Ha!

Who is that supposed to attract ?

2. You are showing a can of ale called White Hag .... who is supposed to be seduced by a can of beer ?

Are you showing it to advertise it? Are you showing it because it says Hag ? Is that a reference to women ? Why just why ? To attract who ?

3. There is a shadowy picture of what looks like half an arse cheek.

4. There is the bottom half of a cock poking out from a towel.

5. You are looking for BBW women or Tv/TS from teenager to demented unaware nonogenarian ( 18 to 99 )

6. You can't accomodate

7. You talk about what you want but not what you offer......

I hope you get loads of messages. There is nothing wrong with any of the above as long as it how you want to be seen.

It does however limit your chances greatly i'd say.

You have to look for a woman or tv/ts who wants all of the above.

Good luck

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Some women get hundreds of messages a day.

So for them to reply to all isn’t really possible,

Face pics are more important to most people, and to be honest most people don’t broadcast the fact they are on fab so being recognised shouldn’t be a problem.

Be patient fab lots of photos and enjoy the perve and the chase.

I would disagree with you. Face pics aren't more important to most people. I don't share facepics on here and it has never had any impact on my interaction.

Some people prefer facepics early to gauge attraction but I've never found it to be a deal-breaker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know anyone that would ask for someone that has messaged them first, to send them a face pic, and certainly not off the back of the pics you already have... I didn't get as far as the text

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok, read the text... You can send pics via messages on here, straight from your phone and without uploading to your gallery... Alot will not appreciate being told they can only communicate and send pics via messaging apps, especially if they know it's unnecessary

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Appreciate any feedback! Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't expect anyone to got to third party apps to chat...

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By *edantic SheilaWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"Let's assume you have messaged me Kris.

I read the message. It's polite.

I look at your profile to see what else I can pick up about you.

1. You are hungover and proud to announce this in your status and also that you are horny and you go ..... Ha!

Who is that supposed to attract ?

2. You are showing a can of ale called White Hag .... who is supposed to be seduced by a can of beer ?

Are you showing it to advertise it? Are you showing it because it says Hag ? Is that a reference to women ? Why just why ? To attract who ?

3. There is a shadowy picture of what looks like half an arse cheek.

4. There is the bottom half of a cock poking out from a towel.

5. You are looking for BBW women or Tv/TS from teenager to demented unaware nonogenarian ( 18 to 99 )

6. You can't accomodate

7. You talk about what you want but not what you offer......

I hope you get loads of messages. There is nothing wrong with any of the above as long as it how you want to be seen.

It does however limit your chances greatly i'd say.

You have to look for a woman or tv/ts who wants all of the above.

Good luck"
Nothing to add or subtract from this!!! Off-putting pictures x...

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

OP, even if you met our basic needs, sorry to say but your profile would put us off straightaway. Single guys hugely outnumber everyone else here so your profile is really important and if you want a response you need to sort that first.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

You get out what you put in.. requires effort.

Your profile should be your shop front, emphasis on your best bits!

I really like a variety of body shots, over dick pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't expect anyone to got to third party apps to chat..."

Because you have changed that

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

"Some women get hundreds of messages a day.

So for them to reply to all isn’t really possible,

Face pics are more important to most people, and to be honest most people don’t broadcast the fact they are on fab so being recognised shouldn’t be a problem.

Be patient fab lots of photos and enjoy the perve and the chase.

I would disagree with you. Face pics aren't more important to most people. I don't share facepics on here and it has never had any impact on my interaction.

Some people prefer facepics early to gauge attraction but I've never found it to be a deal-breaker"

We don't share face pics with anyone and it's never been an issue for us either. We learned that lesson a long time ago when we were naive.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

If I was to ask for profile advice what would you suggest? And please don't tear me to shreds lol "

What you describe is the sort of message we would we would respond to even if it's to say no thank you. Most are not worth replying to. I doubt you are being too nice.

Regarding your pictures, I suggest you aim for a better idea of what you look like over-all. We should be able to see all of you (clothed, that is) at least from the neck down, or do something full-length and blur your face.

Take photos in a variety of clothes - smart and casual - showing what somebody can expect to see if they meet you. Get somebody else to take them because that looks better than selfies. Do them outside on a sunny day for good light and make sure you have nice surroundings.

I think that would really help your gallery and hopefully improve your chances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's assume you have messaged me Kris.

I read the message. It's polite.

I look at your profile to see what else I can pick up about you.

1. You are hungover and proud to announce this in your status and also that you are horny and you go ..... Ha!

Who is that supposed to attract ?

2. You are showing a can of ale called White Hag .... who is supposed to be seduced by a can of beer ?

Are you showing it to advertise it? Are you showing it because it says Hag ? Is that a reference to women ? Why just why ? To attract who ?

3. There is a shadowy picture of what looks like half an arse cheek.

4. There is the bottom half of a cock poking out from a towel.

5. You are looking for BBW women or Tv/TS from teenager to demented unaware nonogenarian ( 18 to 99 )

6. You can't accomodate

7. You talk about what you want but not what you offer......

I hope you get loads of messages. There is nothing wrong with any of the above as long as it how you want to be seen.

It does however limit your chances greatly i'd say.

You have to look for a woman or tv/ts who wants all of the above.

Good luck"

What an awesome reply and so well written !!!

Tony

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's all good, I don't appreciate being spoken down to in a negative manner...I was asking for advice. You gave me some good feed back but at times it felt the tone was quite demeaning. May just be me looking too much into it but hey ho...at the end of the day I've only been here a short time and I'm still it rather new it so I am still learning the ropes really...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile tells the reader literally nothing I'm afraid.

Let's go through it shall we.

"Looking to meet new people for fun, dates and more

kissing and touch is very important to me."

First bit is pretty obvious - what most of us are here for, but doesn't really reveal what sort of things you're into. The part about touch and kissing is perhaps a helpful detail but still doesn't really expand on the sort of fun you're interested in.

"Aware the pics aren't great,"
Then upload better ones

" but I do have better ones to send...as my job I can't really publically display my face. "

Genuine question for you, how many of your colleagues do you think might be on here and possibly identify you? Wouldn't somebody outing you to your boss also be outing themselves? Is what you get up to in your private life any of your employers business?

It's of course entirely up to you, just some thoughts that's all

"I don't even do it on facebook...hope you understand but once I know I'm chatting someone I will send

"
Which pretty much renders the opening line of the profile redundant.

So, what coudl someone expect from a meet with you?

What do you bring to the table?

What sort of things are you into?

You have to remember that very few people will come looking for you. Most of those viewing your profile will be doing so because you've either messaged or winked at them. A lot of women get inundated with messages on a daily basis, and many of those messages will be from guys who have far better constructed profiles, provide all the information that they need to figure out if there's a match and have far better photographs available, so they're likely to get better responses.

Your profile is your shop window. Your chance to sell yourself.

Think of it much as you would a CV.

Anyone you message is going to look at it before looking at your message. If it looks dissapointing, or even that it looks like there's been no effort expended on it, your message will either be deleted or ignored.

If you think that your profile is the best it could possibly be and says everything anyone would need to know about you and what you're here for, then leave it be.

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

And to add to this:

FAB is a community and information resource site for swinging first and foremost.

There is a meeting section. But this is not the core objective to FAB.

Build a network through interaction across, forums, chat windows and messaging.

Venture to social gatherings.

As your network grows people will accept you more and you are more likely to have more phyiscal interactions.

FAB is not an Insta shag website!

If this is the reason for joining, you are in the wrong place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I reply to a message, it allows that person to bypass any filters I might put up in the future. This has come back to bite me several times, and I now see it as safer to not reply to messages if I'm not interested. It's not personal or intended to hurt you, I'm just taking precautions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your profile tells the reader literally nothing I'm afraid.

Let's go through it shall we.

Looking to meet new people for fun, dates and more

kissing and touch is very important to me.

Aware the pics aren't great, Then upload better ones

but I do have better ones to send...as my job I can't really publically display my face.

It's of course entirely up to you, just some thoughts that's all

I don't even do it on facebook...hope you understand but once I know I'm chatting someone I will send

Which pretty much renders the opening line of the profile redundant.

So, what coudl someone expect from a meet with you?

What do you bring to the table?

What sort of things are you into?

Your profile is your shop window. Your chance to sell yourself.

Think of it much as you would a CV.

If you think that your profile is the best it could possibly be and says everything anyone would need to know about you and what you're here for, then leave it be.

Cheers pal,

It's hard to explain about pictures, it's not my colleagues I'm worried about or my boss...

I work in schools, I don't want parents seeing me on here...

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