FabSwingers.com forum: Not a performing monkey

By *nfin8y OP Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

I know I’m bi but when a guy I barely know asks about bringing someone else to my home (not straight away)to watch/play it really pushes all the wrong buttons for me. I’m not a performing monkey just there for them to play out their fantasy. The fact that they’re asking about it before they’ve really got to know me as an individual just makes me feel worthless. Or am I being too sensitive? In the right context and in my own good time I may not be averse to the idea of a threesome. But right now I feel deceived, angry and very disappointed. What are your thoughts?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I’m bi but when a guy I barely know asks about bringing someone else to my home (not straight away)to watch/play it really pushes all the wrong buttons for me. I’m not a performing monkey just there for them to play out their fantasy. The fact that they’re asking about it before they’ve really got to know me as an individual just makes me feel worthless. Or am I being too sensitive? In the right context and in my own good time I may not be averse to the idea of a threesome. But right now I feel deceived, angry and very disappointed. What are your thoughts?"

I feel u girl, get it all the time and gets on my tits!

If I want a threesome then I’m the one deciding, as you said we aren’t performing monkeys for others.

Unless it’s well spoken about with someone you trust and met a few times, it’s so not on to go from 0-60 about these things…

Drives me up the walls…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At some point we all feel like a monkey on a leash.

You should feel good.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wanted different things

I'd say his actions were ill timed at best, 'pushy' at worst

Thankfully, for you, he revealed motive before you invested any more time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you're being too sensitive

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Would be an instant turn off me, would just wish him well and leave it at that. It’s the same as when guys try to hook you up with their female friends

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people want to know if you'll be up for the things they want to do, before putting in any time and effort to get to know you. A little shallow but entirely understandable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hear you. The phrase is something I say a lot lol to chancers and randomers, along with

'it's not instashag'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I feel very much the same way when approached by a lot of couples. Especially if the mention the husband watching at any point. Or the worst are the ones try to organise a surprise or a threesome as a gift.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some people want to know if you'll be up for the things they want to do, before putting in any time and effort to get to know you. A little shallow but entirely understandable. "

Fab is like an ongoing interview/assessment process.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

We’re exactly the same so you’re not being over sensitive at all.

We always ask couples what the are looking for in a meet situation and quite often they respond with:

‘so long as the girls put on a good show for us guys then we don’t care’ or something along those lines.

This is a massive turn off. We’re all there to play, not to perform or put on a show. If you feel you need to watch a show go to a strip club. Usually that’s the end of the chat for us as we know we’re all looking for different things.

So carry on being you OP!

- John

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some people want to know if you'll be up for the things they want to do, before putting in any time and effort to get to know you. A little shallow but entirely understandable.

Fab is like an ongoing interview/assessment process.

It does feel like that sometimes

tell us why you should work for the company

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some people want to know if you'll be up for the things they want to do, before putting in any time and effort to get to know you. A little shallow but entirely understandable.

Fab is like an ongoing interview/assessment process.

It does feel like that sometimes

tell us why you should work for the company

What makes you ideal candidate for some fake appreciation and sweet experience of a momentary passion.

Error. Error loading.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy71Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I hear you. The phrase is something I say a lot lol to chancers and randomers, along with

'it's not instashag'

Ha ha love that not instashag, I'm gonna blatantly nick that line

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some people want to know if you'll be up for the things they want to do, before putting in any time and effort to get to know you. A little shallow but entirely understandable.

Fab is like an ongoing interview/assessment process.

It does feel like that sometimes

tell us why you should work for the company

What makes you ideal candidate for some fake appreciation and sweet experience of a momentary passion.

Error. Error loading.

If only I was a women, I could reply to all the undesirables, sorry computer says no.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some people want to know if you'll be up for the things they want to do, before putting in any time and effort to get to know you. A little shallow but entirely understandable.

Fab is like an ongoing interview/assessment process.

It does feel like that sometimes

tell us why you should work for the company

What makes you ideal candidate for some fake appreciation and sweet experience of a momentary passion.

Error. Error loading.

If only I was a women, I could reply to all the undesirables, sorry computer says no."

Ah. So you insist women should reply ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I would just look at it as a good clue to the person and vet and reject on that basis. I wouldn't though take it as a personal slight

Just as a signal to say goodbye.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’re exactly the same so you’re not being over sensitive at all.

We always ask couples what the are looking for in a meet situation and quite often they respond with:

‘so long as the girls put on a good show for us guys then we don’t care’ or something along those lines.

So carry on being you OP!

- John

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would just look at it as a good clue to the person and vet and reject on that basis. I wouldn't though take it as a personal slight

Just as a signal to say goodbye. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some people want to know if you'll be up for the things they want to do, before putting in any time and effort to get to know you. A little shallow but entirely understandable.

Fab is like an ongoing interview/assessment process.

It does feel like that sometimes

tell us why you should work for the company

What makes you ideal candidate for some fake appreciation and sweet experience of a momentary passion.

Error. Error loading.

If only I was a women, I could reply to all the undesirables, sorry computer says no.

Ah. So you insist women should reply ?

Oooh you cheeky little scamp, that's not what I meant. I would if I had anything to reply to

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's good to establish early on whether we have the same ideas about meeting. Keeps things simple if these things are discussed upfront and for me it's part of the decision to meet process. So you have different ideas? Great. Next please. Not sure what being sensitive has to do with it though?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some people want to know if you'll be up for the things they want to do, before putting in any time and effort to get to know you. A little shallow but entirely understandable.

Fab is like an ongoing interview/assessment process.

It does feel like that sometimes

tell us why you should work for the company

What makes you ideal candidate for some fake appreciation and sweet experience of a momentary passion.

Error. Error loading.

If only I was a women, I could reply to all the undesirables, sorry computer says no.

Ah. So you insist women should reply ?

Oooh you cheeky little scamp, that's not what I meant. I would if I had anything to reply to

I exist to be cheeky.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to feel comfortable. If you don't, tell the guy it's not happening.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agertha73Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We're the same. Not interested in putting on a show. Makes interacting with many couples pretty difficult.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some people want to know if you'll be up for the things they want to do, before putting in any time and effort to get to know you. A little shallow but entirely understandable.

Fab is like an ongoing interview/assessment process.

It does feel like that sometimes

tell us why you should work for the company

What makes you ideal candidate for some fake appreciation and sweet experience of a momentary passion.

Error. Error loading.

If only I was a women, I could reply to all the undesirables, sorry computer says no.

Ah. So you insist women should reply ?

Oooh you cheeky little scamp, that's not what I meant. I would if I had anything to reply to

I exist to be cheeky.

Indeed you do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

i know exactly what you mean. It puts me right off them. It’s like they see the bi thing and it’s an automatic thing you are going to sleep with any female because it’s a given. I don’t think so matey

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I would just look at it as a good clue to the person and vet and reject on that basis. I wouldn't though take it as a personal slight

Just as a signal to say goodbye. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agertha73Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"i know exactly what you mean. It puts me right off them. It’s like they see the bi thing and it’s an automatic thing you are going to sleep with any female because it’s a given. I don’t think so matey

It might work like that for some, but not us, nor you it seems

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's like going to a restaurant and eating dessert before your starter and main course.

Or it's like listening to an album from into the beginning.

There is a format of any kind of engagement but along that journey you find out if you're compatible and want to experience that together.

Sum people just don't have any Etiquettes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nfin8y OP Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

Thanks for the responses so far everyone I’ve gone out for a walk to clear My head. I’ll have a proper later x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

It always makes me smile how people hunt, plan, plead for three way fun like some badly made porn projected usually from the males head.

Still if it works for them…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

It might work like that for some, but not us, nor you it seems"

Haha it certainly does not and they get told

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I've had that in the past, no point getting angry about it. I just think that they're not my kind of man anyway.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

To answer your question, no you are not too sensitive.

We all want different things from this site though and if they are asking for something you don't want simply say no thanks and move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I'm straight and I've had this in the past on my single profile, the old ill bring a female friend along.

I just reminded them I'm straight and not just here to make their fantasies come true.

I can see why it annoys you op, it annoyed me too as it feels as if all they want is for you to please them,without taking your wants into account.

Miss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's very common. They don't seem to grasp that we're selective and once we've filtered the dross and unsuitable out, to get a possible match, then we'll supersize the 'meal' with any odd addon.

They'll often just add comments like he's got a big cock, assuming just that's sufficient. Or that you'd not be creeped out with some random guy in your room watching

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onzo888100Man
over a year ago

Bangor

It's your home. You should decide who, when and how. And shouldn't feel guilty about it xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

One size doesn't fit all.

The way people select playmates will differ. I wouldn't be offended by this approach but it wouldn't be for me, so we would probably not be compatible.

No time wasted: win win in my book.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One size doesn't fit all.

The way people select playmates will differ. I wouldn't be offended by this approach but it wouldn't be for me, so we would probably not be compatible.

No time wasted: win win in my book."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww this is the normal I get a lot thinking I can arrange my friend and come as a package but no, we definitely don’t do for entertainment and not want to be second choice, so ignore them there us some nice ones shame a few try to ruin it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d say the OP is justified in her feelings. You’re here for your own enjoyment not to be a plaything for others. Some on here will try to take advantage so its good its come up now and you can walk away. Hope someone more mature and respectful comes along. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That shit does my head in... Along with, "well if you don't want me, would any of your mates be interested?", seriously, fuck off! I organise socials not other people's sex lives ffs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel very much the same way when approached by a lot of couples. Especially if the mention the husband watching at any point. Or the worst are the ones try to organise a surprise or a threesome as a gift. "

This or when the female messages and says "would love for you to help me put a show on for hubby"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/08/21 12:32:52]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ditto

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don't you use message filters and select who You want to interact with.

Saves complaining about others and you can enjoy the site.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single guys are so bad for this, a friend of mine I have been meeting said he knew someone for threesomes, I said you can't just throw two women together and say play together now

I swear in their little heads it would turn out like in porn ... but you can't fuck someone without attraction and chemistry?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why don't you use message filters and select who You want to interact with.

Saves complaining about others and you can enjoy the site."

She does have filters on! Why should people have block single men and actually its ok to be annoyed at something!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why don't you use message filters and select who You want to interact with.

Saves complaining about others and you can enjoy the site."

I get your point about filters but this is a situation that filters wouldnt protect you from. I could have filters on, read your profile, reach out to you and you could still be the type of person who suggests something outlandish. You dont know until you’ve spoken to the person. Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

"Single guys are so bad for this, a friend of mine I have been meeting said he knew someone for threesomes, I said you can't just throw two women together and say play together now

I swear in their little heads it would turn out like in porn ... but you can't fuck someone without attraction and chemistry?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

"Why don't you use message filters and select who You want to interact with.

Saves complaining about others and you can enjoy the site."

This makes no sense, if she’s looking for a single guy she can’t put that filter on, that doesn’t mean she’s asking for a a random 3 some with him and his female friend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's an instant sod off from me (mrs)..I'm not a circus act..we like to take our time to get to know our playmates..I wonder if the guy would feel ok about putting on a show with just the guys!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nfin8y OP Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

"Why don't you use message filters and select who You want to interact with.

Saves complaining about others and you can enjoy the site."

So when guys either don’t read and accept my profile which makes it clear about what I am and what I am not looking for, or read it and then chose to ignore the bits that don’t work for them that’s ok is it? I think it’s dishonest. It pisses me off and I have every right to feel the way I do.

If you’d bothered to look properly you’d have seen that Yes I do in fact have filters on. Unfortunately it doesn’t filter out people that act like this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nfin8y OP Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

"Why don't you use message filters and select who You want to interact with.

Saves complaining about others and you can enjoy the site.

This makes no sense, if she’s looking for a single guy she can’t put that filter on, that doesn’t mean she’s asking for a a random 3 some with him and his female friend"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nfin8y OP Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

I feel u girl, get it all the time and gets on my tits!

If I want a threesome then I’m the one deciding, as you said we aren’t performing monkeys for others.

Unless it’s well spoken about with someone you trust and met a few times, it’s so not on to go from 0-60 about these things…

Drives me up the walls… "

It certainly does

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nfin8y OP Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

"I think some people want to know if you'll be up for the things they want to do, before putting in any time and effort to get to know you. A little shallow but entirely understandable. "

I would agree except in this instant my profile makes it very clear that I’m not looking for a threesome

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nfin8y OP Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

It’s the sense of being used just to fulfill someone else’s fantasy or wish list that I dislike I’m just not interested in that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nfin8y OP Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

"You wanted different things

I'd say his actions were ill timed at best, 'pushy' at worst

Thankfully, for you, he revealed motive before you invested any more time"

He was shown the door

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nfin8y OP Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

"We’re exactly the same so you’re not being over sensitive at all.

We always ask couples what the are looking for in a meet situation and quite often they respond with:

‘so long as the girls put on a good show for us guys then we don’t care’ or something along those lines.

So carry on being you OP!

- John

Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nfin8y OP Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

"I’d say the OP is justified in her feelings. You’re here for your own enjoyment not to be a plaything for others. Some on here will try to take advantage so its good its come up now and you can walk away. Hope someone more mature and respectful comes along. X "

Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

[Removed by poster at 01/08/21 18:22:43]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

This happens even when you're straight, they want to watch something... I'm no one's entertainment.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread