FabSwingers.com forum: How often do women message first?

By *eardedTattMan OP Man
over a year ago

Elland

Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?

Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

42.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Pretty rare from my experience.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Those that know what they want, reasonably often.

Those who I suspect are just wanting ego stroking, probably never.

Then again, that is just my experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?

Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "

In the last month - twice

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Never but sometimes give a cheeky wink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those that know what they want, reasonably often.

Those who I suspect are just wanting ego stroking, probably never.

Then again, that is just my experience."

Ego stroking they just start a thread after posting a new pic.

They have no reason to ever meet

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By *r easy1981Man
over a year ago

leeds

Once or twice a year ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?

Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "

Never, at first. Now, if I see something funny on the forums, I might send a PM just to show my appreciation

For local fun, I’d rather wait to see if I’m someone’s type and wait for a message.

How do you feel about receiving the first message from a woman OP?

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Since joining quite often never kept a count but Became good friends also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never but sometimes give a cheeky wink "

Same.

I get tons of messages a day anyway and if I wink someone they'll get back to me if they're interested.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Those that know what they want, reasonably often.

Those who I suspect are just wanting ego stroking, probably never.

Then again, that is just my experience.

Ego stroking they just start a thread after posting a new pic.

They have no reason to ever meet "

And the reason they are on here?

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By *eardedTattMan OP Man
over a year ago

Elland

I personally, would love to receive a message or two from a woman first. Shows that interest works both ways, and that a man doesn't always have to do all the initial work! We're all in this hellhole together after all!

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By *drianukMan
over a year ago

Spain, Lancs

It does sometimes happen. But not often. I've gone in to have great times when it does. Once though I met the lady and she changed her mind about me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those that know what they want, reasonably often.

Those who I suspect are just wanting ego stroking, probably never.

Then again, that is just my experience.

Ego stroking they just start a thread after posting a new pic.

They have no reason to ever meet "

*hands Ranger a yard brush*

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By *drianukMan
over a year ago

Spain, Lancs

"Those that know what they want, reasonably often.

Those who I suspect are just wanting ego stroking, probably never.

Then again, that is just my experience.

Ego stroking they just start a thread after posting a new pic.

They have no reason to ever meet

*hands Ranger a yard brush*"

You are pretty rare but...carry on

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By *heekyweebissimWoman
over a year ago

fife,

Not often as I only message people I’m interested in and only if I match what they are looking for.

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By *reakbedsnotheartsMan
over a year ago

bedford

Women are definitely in control on this site

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By *drianukMan
over a year ago

Spain, Lancs

"Women are definitely in control on this site

They are everywhere. Clever men just acknowledge that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do if i see a good status or something written on here

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By *laymateteeMan
over a year ago

Southampton

There are some genuine ladies who message first and sometimes you get some who will message you just to be nasty then block you. That's just my personal experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?

Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "

Once or twice messaged

didnt get any answer,so i stopped

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been told by a few men that they get nasty messages and blocked after. It happens to both sexes, and spoils the experience here for both men and women.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?

Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "
when I was meeting , I'd often message people if their profiles interested me.

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By *olmateMan
over a year ago

west mids

If we knew eachother or have chatted before then, plenty of times.

From new couples or girls received winks quite a lot of times, but message: only once Hahaha! Not very popular, right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never...I'd never make the first move here ... I prefer them to choose me.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Haven't sent a first contact message in 18 months and I receive on average 1 message every couple of weeks from women so it does happen.

That can increase to a couple a week depending on my involvement in the forums.

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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago

Orpington

Huge respect (and attraction!) for any woman who is willing to message first on a site like this...it definitely makes you different than the rest in my eyes. I would never reject (or not reply to) any woman who messages first (as long as the message doesn't contain anything offensive).

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

‘If you build it they will come’

If your profile fits to what they are looking for then I’m sure they’ll message.

C will often message someone if they interest her. Whilst I have a good idea of what she likes I’m not going to capture everyone. Plus it’s a turn on to see her flirt with someone.

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By *.R.MMan
over a year ago

Norfolk

Never in my experience, they don’t need to. From speaking to females on here most get bombarded with messages everyday.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

I’ve messaged people first 3 times in 3 years. I just don’t need to. I get dozens of messages in a day and I just choose who to reply to.

It does take someone to be rather exceptional for me to message them first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never messaged a guy first!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

I (Mrs) have messaged guys first on occasion. If we ever receive a message from a woman first, they generally turn out to not be a woman after all!

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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago

south west

It has happened on occasion - it’s a lovely feeling personally especially for those of us who have low self esteem and so in.

Two stand out. One led to a year long affair and some new amazing experiences and many many happy memories and the other led to my worst ever experience and nearly broke me totally!

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

I’ve messaged first on plenty of occasions I don’t expect men to make the first move, if I like what I see I figure what have I got to loose x

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

Meant to add, if I was a single woman on here I would probably put filters up and then message guys first, so I could be selective...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve probably had 2 in 2 yrs that a female has messaged 1st.

Waiting by inbox for lucky no3

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message first if the profile interests me. I also send winks and fab photos. Gets overwhelming when its all one sided.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have, not sure how many times tho, don't get the 'I don't need to' mindset. If there's someone I'm interested in why not make first contact? It's just being proactive

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

It's how most of my meets have happened.

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By *ongueFkYouMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"It's how most of my meets have happened. "
WOW you are stunning x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of the time OP…… because they are a dude in disguise!

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By *ydia_LovegoodWoman
over a year ago

St. Ives

A few times.. I'll have a look at the hot pics or maybe who's nearby then drop a little message if I'm intrigued... Why should the guys have to do all the work?

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By *orkshrCplCouple
over a year ago

Ripon

I message if I see or read something I like or am intrigued by. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been messaged a few times, it’s nice to get a message from someone that you haven’t spoken to. Usually it’s from a thread and maybe something I’ve written, and they message to ask how I am.

It’s just friendly but it’s nice.

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By *ydia_LovegoodWoman
over a year ago

St. Ives

"I’ve been messaged a few times, it’s nice to get a message from someone that you haven’t spoken to. Usually it’s from a thread and maybe something I’ve written, and they message to ask how I am.

It’s just friendly but it’s nice. "

I messaged you first!!

and it was for that exact reason xx

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

I would imagine most don’t have the time to message first with having to get through all the messages in their in box

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

In my experience women who message first are usually those who aren't announcing in the forums or status updates about the hundreds if not thousands of unread messages they have. That little gold star they are waiting for never seems to arrive in the post.

Lots of women are not interested in numbers though and they take control of their own profiles, use message filters and spend a little time looking for who and what they want.

Those are the same women who don't complain about the quality of messages they receive or the unsolicited dick pics. That's because they don't need to as they are quietly and proactively using the site in a way that suits them best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message first if I spot a guy that I really find attractive

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By *oxy lady40Woman
over a year ago

bridgwater

I have never messaged first

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Every message I get from a female I haven’t previously contacted is instantly treated like a fake to me until proven otherwise

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Every message I get from a female I haven’t previously contacted is instantly treated like a fake to me until proven otherwise "

You maybe losing out on that some one special

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never, unless it's a scam.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I would imagine most don’t have the time to message first with having to get through all the messages in their in box

That's what filters are for

. I didn't really get anywhere wading through the messages sent to me anyway.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"Every message I get from a female I haven’t previously contacted is instantly treated like a fake to me until proven otherwise

You maybe losing out on that some one special "

On here? Doubt it

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Three of my most recent meets in sent the initial message.

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?

Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "

If an individual has all filters up. The only way the are contactable is by them messaging first.

Even if they only have males blocked. They still need to initiate a conversation to a male.

For those that don't have message blocks. They can pick and choose from the vast array of messages recieved and may use browser stealth mode to review profiles and images before follow up messaging.

Of course it is completely personal choice as to how an individual uses the site.

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By *hrough the looking gla55Couple
over a year ago

Epsom

I’ve messaged first. Terrifying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those that know what they want, reasonably often.

Those who I suspect are just wanting ego stroking, probably never.

Then again, that is just my experience.

Ego stroking they just start a thread after posting a new pic.

They have no reason to ever meet

And the reason they are on here?"

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By *aughtyDuetCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

I’m a confident female who knows what I desire and want. I’m more than happy to message first. Depending what’s on my mind determines the level of naughtiness and directness. Sometimes sensual. Sometimes pure filth. But always respectful in a sexy way.

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By *uddly GoblinMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Rarely but it does happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its never happened to me

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By *ackFromTheDead2Man
over a year ago

London/Surrey

Happened a few times when I had face pics on profile never anymore tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk about deja vu.

Wasn't there a similar thread yesterday or the day before?

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By *aughtyDuetCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

"Happened a few times when I had face pics on profile never anymore tho"

Nice coat. Love the fur hood

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?

Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "

3.6% of the time, every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first ever fab experience was borne of a message sent to me first, and as much as proportionally yes, it's low; there has been a good few little yellow 1's at the top of the screen. Don't give up hope OP!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very very very very rarely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do when I’m looking but I’ll probably have them in my hot list for months first to see if I think they are more than a pretty face

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"I’m a confident female who knows what I desire and want. I’m more than happy to message first. Depending what’s on my mind determines the level of naughtiness and directness. Sometimes sensual. Sometimes pure filth. But always respectful in a sexy way.

I’d love to see this in action

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By *laymateteeMan
over a year ago

Southampton

I've received 3 after posting a new video. Must be my luck day lol

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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago

south west

Since posting in this thread, I’ve had two messages. From blokes…. Doh

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Three or four times a week for me. Sometimes none for weeks at a time, sometimes half a dozen in a day.

I don't carpet-bomb, I only send a message when I see something in a profile or a status update that tickles my fancy.

I've had much better interactions that way than I have waiting and hoping that someone I fancy will message me.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Quite a few

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Whenever I see a profile that piques my interest enough to want to say hello and find out more...and sometimes in response to a forum post

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

"In my experience women who message first are usually those who aren't announcing in the forums or status updates about the hundreds if not thousands of unread messages they have. That little gold star they are waiting for never seems to arrive in the post.

Lots of women are not interested in numbers though and they take control of their own profiles, use message filters and spend a little time looking for who and what they want.

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By *heekyeyesMan
over a year ago

Southampton

That

Lots of women are not interested in numbers though and they take control of their own profiles, use message filters and spend a little time looking for who and what they want.

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I'v messaged four men first with a view to a potential meet...two turned out we didn't align after more detailed chat, and I met the other two. All of those were with probably the first three months of being on here. I've not bothered since

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rarely

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I (Miss) have done in the past on my own profile

I don't much now, its rare I find anyone I want to message to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I personally, would love to receive a message or two from a woman first. Shows that interest works both ways, and that a man doesn't always have to do all the initial work! We're all in this hellhole together after all! "

Dream on, my friend!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I message someone first then I've planned in my head on meeting them. They would have had a clear profile and face photos so I know a bit about them. If they cannot accommodate then I would sort that side of things out.

If they are not interested or don't reply after reading message then I leave it at that.

I wish guys would do the same.

If there were men like the OP in my neighbourhood I would be doing it more often ;-p

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside

I have in the past, but only a couple of times - they were ignored

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

I’m being adventurous now and messaging people

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I do if there's someone that's really grabbed my attention. And I definitely do when they are outside my filter range.

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

I don’t think women have the message button on the web pages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never...we go through messages together and decide to message or not. To be fair Mr PD is a chatty man and will talk to anyone. I'm more like I don't chat as I don't want to waste anyone's time.

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By *ovelaughliveCouple
over a year ago

Oldham

If a profile grabs our attention then yes we will message first x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I gave up. I sent a fair few first messages and got no reply.

Doesn't just happen to guys you know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I gave up. I sent a fair few first messages and got no reply.

Doesn't just happen to guys you know.

I bet it doesn't but I bet women's "failure" rates are significantly lower than mens on here.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

When someone interests me.

90% of the people I talk to with any regularity at the moment, I messaged first.

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By *lassy_but_sassyWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I've messaged some first, if I like the look of them why not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the time.

I just wish they’d put the special word in the title of the message.

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By *risky businessMan
over a year ago

APharaohWay

I've had winks but no first messages x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I liked someone, I would

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Very very very very very very rarely

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By *95888Man
over a year ago

carlisle

Very rarely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I gave up. I sent a fair few first messages and got no reply.

Doesn't just happen to guys you know.

Sorry I’m building myself up to reading my unread messages just sooooo many to get through

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By *ougie321Man
over a year ago

Milford Haven

What was the question again

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

I do quite often if someone who's sent a wink catches my eye.

Or if there's been a bit of banter in the forums I will message if they haven't

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By *utterypopcornCouple
over a year ago

oxford

Not enough!!! A rare time we did we got blocked

Must be something we said!!!! Think we will stick to receiving.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

I’m very unlikely to message first.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

There must be something in the water atm. I've had a few ladies 'make the first move' recently.

I thought it was my charm and wit, but.......

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Women are definitely in control on this site

I would argue “Women are definitely in demand in this site”, but “in control”? No. They certainly have more choices, and receive more offers than men (putting the bi guys aside), but “in control” sounds like brown-nosing to me

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"There must be something in the water atm. I've had a few ladies 'make the first move' recently.

I thought it was my charm and wit, but.......

…….someone must have let slip about your lottery win….

(Only kidding fella)

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

So, last night I received a first time, opening message from a single woman, who offered me a bj! No messing around, straight to the point she was, which made a refreshing change! Just thought I would throw this out there to the guys who have lost faith in the women of Fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twice a year

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman
over a year ago

Colchester

Other than to comment on a forum post, never in almost ten years.

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By *unladx1984xzxMan
over a year ago

London

Think in all girls have message me first around 8 times lol .there probably to busy responding to all there mail haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I occassionally get messages from women. They never lead to anything though. Almost all the time they never bother to reply after I send them a reply

I also rarely message women. I've never met anyone on here as a result. Go figure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of women are not interested in numbers though and they take control of their own profiles, use message filters and spend a little time looking for who and what they want.

Tadam.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Woo I messaged another two guys today.

Dont think I'll be meeting them - having doubts, who really will genuinely meet these days, without them having a wobble or two!

.... But chatting to 'some' is enlightening.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Just a thought I had, because it hasn't happened to me very often. The men on here massively outnumber the ladies, but be honest, how often do you ladies message a guy first on here?

Obviously the female half of a couple I'd like to hear from you also? "

I don't get many messages from women.

Had an incredibly hot woman look at my profile earlier though.

I bet she was thoroughly dissapointed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most days to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woo I messaged another two guys today.

Dont think I'll be meeting them - having doubts, who really will genuinely meet these days, without them having a wobble or two!

.... But chatting to 'some' is enlightening.

You messaged me to ask how I was after that horrendous couple, called me a war criminal and baby killer after I told them why I have beard in the beard thread they started.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woo I messaged another two guys today.

Dont think I'll be meeting them - having doubts, who really will genuinely meet these days, without them having a wobble or two!

.... But chatting to 'some' is enlightening.

You messaged me to ask how I was after that horrendous couple, called me a war criminal and baby killer after I told them why I have beard in the beard thread they started.

And thank you I was ok I’ve been called far worse in my life.

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

I’m guilty for doing it almost every time , but careful of who I text ..

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By *rMrsRichCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouh

"I do if i see a good status or something written on here"

Yes I agree with this. Quite rare I’ll message first - mainly because I’m pretty crap at opening messages! But usually it’s a status or a particular profile or forum comment that catches me that’s get to to message first.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

I’ve had women message me for normally three reasons.

A comment I’ve made on the forums.

I’m on a guest list for a club night so they’d like to meet for a chat and a laugh.

It’s a friend who wants a chat.

The longer you’re on here and the more effort you put into the lifestyle, the more ‘chances’ you’ll get to catch that elusive ladies eye.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woo I messaged another two guys today.

Dont think I'll be meeting them - having doubts, who really will genuinely meet these days, without them having a wobble or two!

.... But chatting to 'some' is enlightening.

You messaged me to ask how I was after that horrendous couple, called me a war criminal and baby killer after I told them why I have beard in the beard thread they started.

And thank you I was ok I’ve been called far worse in my life. "

Hahaha Tom,

You've just reminded me it's three people I've chatted to recently...

Haven't forgotten you, honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didnt actually answer the question. I do message first. Rarely these days but I'm glad i overcame my initial hang ups and just reach out. It doesn't have to be a sexual connection. If I'm curious of a person, I don't want to wait around too long. People come and go from here. Catching moments when we can..

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