FabSwingers.com forum: Messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone else find it bloody annoying when people pretend to not have read your message? For me it just leaves me in a quandary! Sometimes you'll see it get read and then left marked as unread. Which if you've seen it and they haven't got back to you... Fine, you know there's no interest. But if it appears unread it's that has it been lost in the 10,000 other messages feeling?? Should I try again?

Ladies just read the message and leave it read! At least it's clear. If you want to chat further... Happy days all round!

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Hi,

Fab can be demoralising when you don't get responses.

The best option is to send a message and not check or follow it up.

Some ladies get large volumes of messages.

Make sure you only message those who might be interested, and send a decent messsge that shows you have read their profile.

Chin up OP.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

People are different and have their own ways of doing things and time availability etc.

It's best to put your sent mail out of mind and realise that most people are not compatible with most other people, to adjust your expectations of what no strings sex is all about and it won't mean that potential partners are high priority in life.

Move on and message others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The trouble is, that works for you, but not for others. Everyone is different.

There will never be a one way suits all approach.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

If you're finding it 'bloody annoying' OP then delete your sent messages - it won't delete the other end, and that way you won't have to wonder, plus has the bonus of if you get a reply that it's a surprise.

I'd also respectfully suggest that if you're investing that much time in worrying about whether a message has been read or not (and you will never *know* for sure as some people read them and then mark unread) then you're perhaps approaching this wrong by trying to take 'signals' from it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi,

Fab can be demoralising when you don't get responses.

The best option is to send a message and not check or follow it up.

Some ladies get large volumes of messages.

Make sure you only message those who might be interested, and send a decent messsge that shows you have read their profile.

Chin up OP."

I know but normally it's a well thought out, well constructed message after reading the profile of someone that's attractive... That takes time.

Not the "Ello darlin', fancy a fuck"? Message. Lol

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By *ondon-guy68Man
over a year ago

London

Save yourself getting too bothered about it and just delete your sent mail.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Hi,

Fab can be demoralising when you don't get responses.

The best option is to send a message and not check or follow it up.

Some ladies get large volumes of messages.

Make sure you only message those who might be interested, and send a decent messsge that shows you have read their profile.

Chin up OP.

I know but normally it's a well thought out, well constructed message after reading the profile of someone that's attractive... That takes time.

Not the "Ello darlin', fancy a fuck"? Message. Lol"

That doesn't mean you're entitled to a response.

If they were interested, they would reply.

You might benefit from reading the site FAQs. No reply = no.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Hi,

Fab can be demoralising when you don't get responses.

The best option is to send a message and not check or follow it up.

Some ladies get large volumes of messages.

Make sure you only message those who might be interested, and send a decent messsge that shows you have read their profile.

Chin up OP.

I know but normally it's a well thought out, well constructed message after reading the profile of someone that's attractive... That takes time.

Not the "Ello darlin', fancy a fuck"? Message. Lol"

Thing is though - it might be a "well thought out, well constructed message" to you and you might find the other person attractive - but that really doesn't matter, what matters if they think it is and they find you attractive.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

You haven't requested profile advice, so can't offer any, but that may be part of the problem.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Interesting to hear others views. Sending and deleting means you need to remember what you've written though! Or a reply is possibly meaningless and might not make any sense! Then you respond and sound like a complete donut!? Lol

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Yes ladies, conduct you message box as I want and we'll all be happy....

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Interesting to hear others views. Sending and deleting means you need to remember what you've written though! Or a reply is possibly meaningless and might not make any sense! Then you respond and sound like a complete donut!? Lol"

Fair enough ... but just don't check them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi,

Fab can be demoralising when you don't get responses.

The best option is to send a message and not check or follow it up.

Some ladies get large volumes of messages.

Make sure you only message those who might be interested, and send a decent messsge that shows you have read their profile.

Chin up OP.

I know but normally it's a well thought out, well constructed message after reading the profile of someone that's attractive... That takes time.

Not the "Ello darlin', fancy a fuck"? Message. Lol

I get that... But if it's marked as been read and they haven't replied. I instantly know that they aren't interested

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

If you copy your message before deleting and paste it as a private note on the recipients profile (which only you can see) that solves that problem

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You haven't requested profile advice, so can't offer any, but that may be part of the problem. "

Yes maybe

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

If you copy your message before deleting and paste it as a private note on the recipients profile (which only you can see) that solves that problem

You're always so wise GM!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"Hi,

Fab can be demoralising when you don't get responses.

The best option is to send a message and not check or follow it up.

Some ladies get large volumes of messages.

Make sure you only message those who might be interested, and send a decent messsge that shows you have read their profile.

Chin up OP."

That last bit about only messaging those you think might be interested is huge and i think forgotten by many. If you mostly message women on the first page of the hotlist then you are going to be one of hundreds if not thousands. Likewise if you don't fit their profile they are going to delete.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes ladies, conduct you message box as I want and we'll all be happy....

Not at all. If you send a letter to the gas company and get no response. What's your thought?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Hi,

Fab can be demoralising when you don't get responses.

The best option is to send a message and not check or follow it up.

Some ladies get large volumes of messages.

Make sure you only message those who might be interested, and send a decent messsge that shows you have read their profile.

Chin up OP.

I know but normally it's a well thought out, well constructed message after reading the profile of someone that's attractive... That takes time.

Not the "Ello darlin', fancy a fuck"? Message. Lol

I get that... But if it's marked as been read and they haven't replied. I instantly know that they aren't interested"

As I said though how do you *know* it's not been read when some people mark messages unread after reading them?

And some women can get 100s of messages a day - do you really expect them to read all of those messages just so they show as read and fit your way of doing things?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi,

Fab can be demoralising when you don't get responses.

The best option is to send a message and not check or follow it up.

Some ladies get large volumes of messages.

Make sure you only message those who might be interested, and send a decent messsge that shows you have read their profile.

Chin up OP.

100%

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By *lappyMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Hi,

Fab can be demoralising when you don't get responses.

The best option is to send a message and not check or follow it up.

Some ladies get large volumes of messages.

Make sure you only message those who might be interested, and send a decent messsge that shows you have read their profile.

Chin up OP."

couldn’t agree more, great post x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I mark as unread as a reminder to come back to it, that could be because I'm busy, or just don't feel lole responding then. I'm the same with texts phone calls and emails, I manage my time and engagement no one else.

yes they also get pushed to the bottom and forgotten about. I have been chatting with a couple of people privately on a purely friendly basis, my not replying of late has nothing to do with beimg done with them, I just havent had the head space to give the message the time and attention it deserves.

Other times is to not hurt their feelings, not open the door to an onslaught of negative messages.

It's also awkward if I'm engaging in the forums and thats cool but am not interested in talking outside of these.

Kind of like I'd chat with you at the wager cooler and the Christmas staff dinner but I wouldn't grab a coffee one on one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi,

Fab can be demoralising when you don't get responses.

The best option is to send a message and not check or follow it up.

Some ladies get large volumes of messages.

Make sure you only message those who might be interested, and send a decent messsge that shows you have read their profile.

Chin up OP.

I know but normally it's a well thought out, well constructed message after reading the profile of someone that's attractive... That takes time.

Not the "Ello darlin', fancy a fuck"? Message. Lol

I get that... But if it's marked as been read and they haven't replied. I instantly know that they aren't interested

As I said though how do you *know* it's not been read when some people mark messages unread after reading them?

And some women can get 100s of messages a day - do you really expect them to read all of those messages just so they show as read and fit your way of doing things? "

You are missing the point

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Yes ladies, conduct you message box as I want and we'll all be happy....

Not at all. If you send a letter to the gas company and get no response. What's your thought?"

The difference being that you already have a relationship with your gas company, as a customer.

The initial message to someone on here is, in many cases, effectively the same as the junk mail that comes through your letterbox.

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Yes ladies, conduct you message box as I want and we'll all be happy....

Not at all. If you send a letter to the gas company and get no response. What's your thought?"

This is not the Gas Company... Take away your ego and you'll enjoy the site better!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You haven't requested profile advice, so can't offer any, but that may be part of the problem. "

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Yes ladies, conduct you message box as I want and we'll all be happy....

Not at all. If you send a letter to the gas company and get no response. What's your thought?"

Yes, you expect a response but the difference is you're paying the gas company for a service and part of that service is them responding to any queries you raise.

To turn your analogy around do you respond to every junk email/letter you get from pizza companies, Nigerian princes and companies claiming to be able to make your cock bigger? That is a closer analogy to apply here because effectively what you are doing by sending a message to another user is sending them sales material and if they're not interested in buying they have every right to not read or not reply to the message.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Hi,

Fab can be demoralising when you don't get responses.

The best option is to send a message and not check or follow it up.

Some ladies get large volumes of messages.

Make sure you only message those who might be interested, and send a decent messsge that shows you have read their profile.

Chin up OP.

I know but normally it's a well thought out, well constructed message after reading the profile of someone that's attractive... That takes time.

Not the "Ello darlin', fancy a fuck"? Message. Lol

I get that... But if it's marked as been read and they haven't replied. I instantly know that they aren't interested

As I said though how do you *know* it's not been read when some people mark messages unread after reading them?

And some women can get 100s of messages a day - do you really expect them to read all of those messages just so they show as read and fit your way of doing things?

You are missing the point"

I don't actually think it's me that is missing the point to be honest

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

OP, I really don't think you're doing yourself any favours. You are coming across as rather entitled.

I have sent you a message that I took time in crafting, so the recipient must respond

You need a thick skin, a more chilled approach to Fab and to address your expectations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi,

Fab can be demoralising when you don't get responses.

The best option is to send a message and not check or follow it up.

Some ladies get large volumes of messages.

Make sure you only message those who might be interested, and send a decent messsge that shows you have read their profile.

Chin up OP.

I know but normally it's a well thought out, well constructed message after reading the profile of someone that's attractive... That takes time.

Not the "Ello darlin', fancy a fuck"? Message. Lol

I get that... But if it's marked as been read and they haven't replied. I instantly know that they aren't interested

As I said though how do you *know* it's not been read when some people mark messages unread after reading them?

And some women can get 100s of messages a day - do you really expect them to read all of those messages just so they show as read and fit your way of doing things?

You are missing the point"

So what is the point?

You've penned what you think is a work of art, toiled away at it, hit every desirable and essential stated in tue personal spec (yes I'm comparing to a job notice). The type of jobs i used to apply for had a minimum of 60 markers you had to hit and evidence with an example, these applications took days to write, no pop in a cv. And guess what sometimes youd hear nothing. Sometimes you may get through the first few stages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi,

Fab can be demoralising when you don't get responses.

The best option is to send a message and not check or follow it up.

Some ladies get large volumes of messages.

Make sure you only message those who might be interested, and send a decent messsge that shows you have read their profile.

Chin up OP.

I know but normally it's a well thought out, well constructed message after reading the profile of someone that's attractive... That takes time.

Not the "Ello darlin', fancy a fuck"? Message. Lol

I get that... But if it's marked as been read and they haven't replied. I instantly know that they aren't interested

As I said though how do you *know* it's not been read when some people mark messages unread after reading them?

And some women can get 100s of messages a day - do you really expect them to read all of those messages just so they show as read and fit your way of doing things?

You are missing the point

I don't actually think it's me that is missing the point to be honest"

My points are basic. If it's unread that's fine. If I think we're a good match I might message again. An unwanted message and my time wasted. Read and marked unread means the above may happen.

If it's been read and or deleted.... Crystal clear.

Easier and clearer for all surely?

Just thinking out loud really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only have one message at the moment that has been there for a few weeks but I don't want to open it. I'm not in the mood to personally reply and that's my choice completely.

Why do so many people think they are owed acknowledgement from someone they don't even know?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP, I really don't think you're doing yourself any favours. You are coming across as rather entitled.

I have sent you a message that I took time in crafting, so the recipient must respond

You need a thick skin, a more chilled approach to Fab and to address your expectations. "

Don't mean to and I would only expect a response if someone is interested... Certainly not saying everyone is to reply to every message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do so many people think they are owed acknowledgement from someone they don't even know?"

Million doller question on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So OP, if I've read this right. You want ladies to run their inbox in a way that suits you because otherwise you find it annoying and that's not fair on you?

So we should all just do as we are told to keep you happy?

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I don’t understand why some folk are so obsessed with checking if their messages are read. I’ll manage my inbox as it suits me and that can change depending on my mood. Just don’t look!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's clear if we want to chat further we reply. It's that simple

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So OP, if I've read this right. You want ladies to run their inbox in a way that suits you because otherwise you find it annoying and that's not fair on you?

So we should all just do as we are told to keep you happy? "

Not at all. Just easier all round surely?

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By *BWBI2019Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Some people just want to read what you have sent, then mark it as unread as not to prompt any false interest on your side which can lead to spamming. This happens alot to women on here, so please understand that people have their own reasons behind their actions and for your own sake, it's best not to check the status of your messages and leave it up to the other person to get in touch.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I get that... But if it's marked as been read and they haven't replied. I instantly know that they aren't interested

As I said though how do you *know* it's not been read when some people mark messages unread after reading them?

And some women can get 100s of messages a day - do you really expect them to read all of those messages just so they show as read and fit your way of doing things?

You are missing the point

I don't actually think it's me that is missing the point to be honest

My points are basic. If it's unread that's fine. If I think we're a good match I might message again. An unwanted message and my time wasted. Read and marked unread means the above may happen.

If it's been read and or deleted.... Crystal clear.

Easier and clearer for all surely?

Just thinking out loud really"

Or to come back to earlier points, if you didn't invest time in worrying about your sent box and expecting others to conform to your way of Fab, and just accepted no reply means no interest (regardless of whether the message has been read or not) it's equally crystal clear

What's more is it's less frustrating for you so win/win

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's clear if we want to chat further we reply. It's that simple

Lol. I guess so yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So OP, if I've read this right. You want ladies to run their inbox in a way that suits you because otherwise you find it annoying and that's not fair on you?

So we should all just do as we are told to keep you happy?

Not at all. Just easier all round surely? "

How? If it doesn't work for the owner of said inbox than it isn't easier all round is it? Everyone manages their messages differently because it works for them.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"So OP, if I've read this right. You want ladies to run their inbox in a way that suits you because otherwise you find it annoying and that's not fair on you?

So we should all just do as we are told to keep you happy?

Not at all. Just easier all round surely? "

What would be easier, is for you to accept that other people have different views and opinions to you.

They will continue to use Fab however they want, regardless of what you want them to do.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"It's clear if we want to chat further we reply. It's that simple

Lol. I guess so yes

It really is that simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep it on the thread please

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I get that... But if it's marked as been read and they haven't replied. I instantly know that they aren't interested

As I said though how do you *know* it's not been read when some people mark messages unread after reading them?

And some women can get 100s of messages a day - do you really expect them to read all of those messages just so they show as read and fit your way of doing things?

You are missing the point

I don't actually think it's me that is missing the point to be honest

My points are basic. If it's unread that's fine. If I think we're a good match I might message again. An unwanted message and my time wasted. Read and marked unread means the above may happen.

If it's been read and or deleted.... Crystal clear.

Easier and clearer for all surely?

Just thinking out loud really

What's more is it's less frustrating for you so win/win"

Yes maybe mate!

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By *eacockDreamsMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

I just send repeated messages until I break down their resistance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t understand why some folk are so obsessed with checking if their messages are read. I’ll manage my inbox as it suits me and that can change depending on my mood. Just don’t look! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They probably do it to stop people ranting in the forums about why women never reply to their messages after they have read them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just send repeated messages until I break down their resistance."

Thanks.... Needed a laugh!

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By *eacockDreamsMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"I just send repeated messages until I break down their resistance.

Thanks.... Needed a laugh!"

I'm not joking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've been here forever Op, you know how it works

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They probably do it to stop people ranting in the forums about why women never reply to their messages after they have read them."

Maybe. But read and no reply is a message in itself though and should be forgotten about! That's crystal!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've been here forever Op, you know how it works

I'm just old.... Never said I was wise!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right message sent and deleted! Let's see how that works. Lol

Cheers for your views

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By *reamblueMan
over a year ago

London

Aaaah, ok, I never noticed the 'Mark as unread' option. Thanks I learned something new. And I'm not being sarcastic

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've been here forever Op, you know how it works

Still got a thing for choccie Hobnobs? Lol

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