FabSwingers.com forum: Socials. Yes or no

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Good morning all. My first time posting.

Am I doing this all wrong. I was on here few yrs ago and I always met socially first for a drink n chat n met some lovely fellas.

This time on I can't seem to get past chatting on here. Noone wants to meet up n see if we click. One fella said well it's not a dating site is it. What do you all do.

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By *exywoman77Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always meet up first. It’s also not a sex site. Some people be weird…

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Socials are an important step to help determine if you want to get physical with someone. Being selective about who you fuck doesn’t make this a dating site.

I would suggest you stick to what you want and find more compatible people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting "

Same here

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By *lasphemouscoupleCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

Social first for us every time, no pressure, see if there's some chemistry between us. It's not dating it's just well... Social lol don't let anyone push you into an uncomfortable situation, do whatever makes you comfortable, best of luck OP x

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I always chat for a while first and then meet got a social. It doesn't matter how well you get on chatting I have found until you meet each other you don't actually know if there is any chemistry. So for me a social is important and saves any awkwardness. If someone doesn't want a social first that's grand they can go find someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always a social here first. With no expectations.

In a public place.

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

A social for me is the best way forward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always have a social first, part of the fun of being on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree OP so much easier years ago....

Don't change, keep looking.

It's the only way people will respect what you want in the end.

I'd rather do without, than doing their way.

Keep going lovely

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I'm not so keen on socials myself but I will sit down and chat with someone first so we can both decide if we want to be intimate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer quality not quantity. I need to connect with someone so a social would be important. It also builds up the anticipation and longing. A quick roll in the hay would just be using someone as a vessel to "chuck my muck" and not overly satisfying.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

We like a social first - chat & pics can be deceiving so we like people to see the real us. It can also out fakes too

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a social, I love to chat laugh and smile… it puts both of you at ease to abd that’s got to be a good thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always a social first.

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

They are ignorant, rude and presumptuous OP. You keep to your standards. The cheek on some peoples is astounding.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I don't know where people get the idea that sex is super easy. They think logging onto a real basic profile with no or little photos and info then saying "let's meet" will just do it. If they can't be bothered, just pay for prostitution. It's our bodies which is a precious commodity. Not going to give it free to any Tom, Dick or Harry. Ludicrous attitude some people on here have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not having a social is like jumping in a used car and driving off, after not checking oil, water and petrol and hoping the car works just fine.

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By *errocaWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

For me, a social is important, because like someone else said.. You can chat and get along so well, but it isn't until you meet someone in the flesh, that you get the true feeling for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would love socials can be fun just having naughty thoughts and stories

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By *herry OnatopWoman
over a year ago

Just over there

Socials are so much fun! The flirting and teasing! I like to see if his cock is straining to escape from his jeans due to the amount of teasing, I know its been a good social if it is

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

I much prefer a social meet before anything happens. Am I odd in wanting to know if I actually get on with the people I have sex with?

Ideally I’d like to meet people I could have socials with regularly with no pressure on whether sex happens or not.

But like you say OP it seems an awful lot of people just want instashag…

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

We find socials are absolutely essential in establishing whether we wish to take things further or not. We would rather find out that we are not attracted or have nothing in common with another couple over a drink or two than in the awkward situation where some sort of play is expected. Not that it would stop us staying no in that circumstances either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good morning all. My first time posting.

Am I doing this all wrong. I was on here few yrs ago and I always met socially first for a drink n chat n met some lovely fellas.

This time on I can't seem to get past chatting on here. Noone wants to meet up n see if we click. One fella said well it's not a dating site is it. What do you all do. "

Stick to your preferred routine, social is a must. Even at the club one doesn't just get straight on the job.

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By *urplechesterCouple
over a year ago

chester

We like to have socials too! If we’re inviting a lady into our relationship, then she has to be right for us, and we have to be right for her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good morning all. My first time posting.

Am I doing this all wrong. I was on here few yrs ago and I always met socially first for a drink n chat n met some lovely fellas.

This time on I can't seem to get past chatting on here. Noone wants to meet up n see if we click. One fella said well it's not a dating site is it. What do you all do. "

Hi OP and welcome to the forum

My advice is to keep doing what you're doing. I prefer to have a social first too and it's worked for me for 9 years.

NBVN x

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

If someone is not prepared for a social and prepared to walk away from that social without as much as a kiss then it speaks volumes as for their character and an easy way to decide if it's another one for the bin. Why would someone expect you to fall into bed with them without any effort or seduction, would be a very cold meeting.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Socials are fun

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

As my profile says, I'll always insist on a social. If that doesn't suit some people then we aren't compatible anyway so that's fine.

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Socials just add to the build up for me and I really enjoy them. It’s also our way of seeing if we’re all going to get along in the bedroom.

We’re not looking for quick one off meets so look for people who are wanting similar. You need to do this the way it suits you so don’t change what you’re comfortable with because of other people.

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By *entlemenpipMan
over a year ago

not far

A social first that way you can get a better feel for someone and also out catfish and anyone who miss represents them selves here

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

Social first. Got to know you can get on before you can get it on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to have a couple of socials before anything else. But then when meeting I like to get to know the people I plan to fuck. Do it your way no one can dictate that to you

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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

We do socials first and aren't into banging complete strangers. It's good to get expectations out in the open. Don't want to stumble into bed with a single guy who's been feeding himself violent porn.

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By *bostCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

Yes. Socials are a must for us. Why would you take your pants off with someone you don’t click with.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Hello OP, congratulations on your first post

Always a social first. It doesn’t matter what happens online, you can never be totally sure until you meet, in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, too much like a date for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like social meets as it gives you the chance to get to know someone with no pressure to play on the first meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being honest I would go with whatever made my meet feel comfortable, I’ll always have a no pressure no expectations approach anyway so even meeting in the flesh doesn’t mean sex is expected, saying that if the connection is intense and both minds are fully engaged it’s probably going to be instantly down to intense action

but again I can only speak for myself.

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By *lexMegasMan
over a year ago

WREXHAM

No problem with insisting on a social first. Even if it's just a quick brew somewhere before deciding if you want to go further.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It's a definite social first for me, even if on the rare occasion it's led to more immediately after. It's nice to meet people in a relaxed, no pressure environment and it can take me a while to make up my mind anyway. Hopefully you connect with those who are more compatible with you soon.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Good morning all. My first time posting.

Am I doing this all wrong. I was on here few yrs ago and I always met socially first for a drink n chat n met some lovely fellas.

This time on I can't seem to get past chatting on here. Noone wants to meet up n see if we click. One fella said well it's not a dating site is it. What do you all do. "

If somebody says this is not a dating site, that is their idea and it is about what they are looking for.

I think the site is what you want it to be and if you like a social meet first (as I definitely do) then there is nothing wrong with that. You are not doing anything wrong, you are doing things your way which is great.

If somebody does not want to me me for a social I think that is an indicator we are likely to look for different things in people.

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By *uv2kissMan
over a year ago

fenland

I always ask for a social meet first.

I know I am not some Greek god that ladies will want to shag asap

A social means the lady or couple realise that i'm actually a good guy, so we meet somewhere public, have a chat and go our separate ways.

Once they get a chance to chat privately some want to meet again for something more adult, some don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We do socials first and aren't into banging complete strangers. It's good to get expectations out in the open. Don't want to stumble into bed with a single guy who's been feeding himself violent porn."

A coffee somewhere very public is a good way to find out if a man can behave in a socially appropriate way.

I always coffee first meet, no sex chat. No physical contact at all.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

A coffee somewhere very public is a good way to find out if a man can behave in a socially appropriate way.

I always coffee first meet, no sex chat. No physical contact at all."

This is such a good point - I ll do a thread on this because I do not want to distract from this one.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We do socials. Some people don't. Nobody is wrong, just different

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

I enjoy socials. A fun night out with someone who you can be open, flirty and naughty with. Even if there is no sexual connection it is always a fun night out.

Also, I wouldn't want to get a hotel room for the night and someone not show up or it actually be a fake account!

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By *ubwife4uCouple
over a year ago

Kent

"No, too much like a date for me

Totally agree. I guess we are in the minority! Also, we only get one evening every few months to “play” so for us, drinks and a chat first just doesn’t work.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I enjoy socials. A fun night out with someone who you can be open, flirty and naughty with. Even if there is no sexual connection it is always a fun night out.

Also, I wouldn't want to get a hotel room for the night and someone not show up or it actually be a fake account! "

Very true - I had not thought of that... the financial implications.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"No, too much like a date for me

Totally agree. I guess we are in the minority! Also, we only get one evening every few months to “play” so for us, drinks and a chat first just doesn’t work. "
I understand that and had not thought of the time constraints for some people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We do socials. Some people don't. Nobody is wrong, just different"

Completely agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love a social x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social or a video call - so I get to see who I’m meeting. People’s photos on here can be a little misleading.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

We need a 4way attraction and for us it’s not just physical ,so for us socials are a great way of getting to know someone and to make sure everyone is on the same page .

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

I have a “social” condition stated on my profile.

In the last 5 years I have made one exception and it worked wonderfully but I wouldn’t scrap it ever, I’ll take each case on its own merit.

However I do agree with you that people seem reluctant of late, I’ve arranged 6 socials in the last month or so and 4 cancelled . It won’t affect my preference of meeting socially first though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A coffee somewhere very public is a good way to find out if a man can behave in a socially appropriate way.

I always coffee first meet, no sex chat. No physical contact at all.

This is such a good point - I ll do a thread on this because I do not want to distract from this one."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Socials are an important step to help determine if you want to get physical with someone. Being selective about who you fuck doesn’t make this a dating site.

I would suggest you stick to what you want and find more compatible people."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We like a social first - chat & pics can be deceiving so we like people to see the real us. It can also out fakes too

J x"

Spot on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always a social here first. With no expectations.

In a public place.

Yes me too - also enables you to find out all the things they have obviously been lying about (they often think once you have met you won’t mind about the 5 year old pics, different height/weight etc)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

However the woman/ couple want to play it….want them to feel comfortable and relaxed and if a social helps that then all for it. If they just want to use me in a hotel room or theirs then that’s ok too

as long as they are at ease.

Having said that a social is just an extension of fun, so it can tell a lot about a person before the shenanigans begin :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to chat for a bit before having sex, but I only meet to fuck xx

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Always 100% social 1st with us and if they can't or won't do a social just normally shows they think it is a "Sex Site" and after a quick ....and our pet theory is ..If you do regard this as a strictly sex site ...and only after a shag...surely after awhile you will actually run out of people willing to shag you ? xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanku all for your replies. I was thinking things had changed. Glad to see I'm not the only one who finds socials a good way of finding people out xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a social is a must in my book but trying to get one these days is rarer than hens teeth some people like myself are better in person than behind a keyboard

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

Absolute yes from me and it cost me a chance with a Fitty but rules are rules

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By *uddly GoblinMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Socials are a great way to see if there's any chemistry and personally I always try for a social first off

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By *vriderMan
over a year ago

Chester

I'm a bloke and I'd still want to meet someone in a pub or something before going to someone's house or giving out my address!

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Always social first. You never really know until you meet someone if you click.

Also for us girls, safety reasons! Most guys respect that.

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By *cunnylassCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

We always have a social first.If somebody won't have one it just means that we're not compatible.

M and M

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

[Removed by poster at 23/07/21 12:36:11]

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

I always insist on a social with no expectations and no assumptions

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

Always a social first, correct it's not a dating site hence why it's a social and not a date, its also not "just shag" or "uber shags" you do what feels right for you and if people are pushy or funny about having a social then that would be the first red flag that they aren't going to be considerate in the bedroom.

Mr Hayes

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

My preference is meet, make sure we're both not serial killers, then back to the place for sex.

But respect others rules and wants.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Welcome to the forums OP.

I have always done a social first and it does say on my profile.

If guys aren't happy with that then they can jog on to someone who.is willing not too. I see it as a bullet dodged x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Social first for us every time, no pressure, see if there's some chemistry between us. It's not dating it's just well... Social lol don't let anyone push you into an uncomfortable situation, do whatever makes you comfortable, best of luck OP x"

Name the pub

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love a social chat nice drink always happy but same thing nobody really gets in touch

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I always do a social and I'm not looking to date, I'm in a relationship.

Socials are a great way to chat and have a laugh, no pressure and see if you're both attracted enough to meet again.

If someone doesn't want to meet socially, if just stop engaging with them.

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By *lassy_but_sassyWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Good morning all. My first time posting.

Am I doing this all wrong. I was on here few yrs ago and I always met socially first for a drink n chat n met some lovely fellas.

This time on I can't seem to get past chatting on here. Noone wants to meet up n see if we click. One fella said well it's not a dating site is it. What do you all do. "

I'd say to him well it might not be a dating site, but if you won't meet me for a social first then you're definitely not getting in my knickers!

It sounds like someone I know off here too tbh!

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

I love a social, builds the chemistry in person if you get on, from there then it's whatever feels right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love the social side and made many good friends over the years...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deff social first

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Agreed always a social OP. Have to ensure someone is who they say they are before even considering the whole attraction thing

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

A social glory hole is the way to do it OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello OP. Welcome.

I can’t say I’m all that surprised at the attitude you’ve met. I haven’t read the rest of the thread but I can imagine many would have told you to ignore those men for spouting excuses about this not being a dating site.

Each to his own if he comes across a woman who wants what he does. Many others don’t and want a connection first. I believe the site has swelled and the new members may lack a certain grace and manners that were commonplace a few years ago.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanku all so much pit my mind at ease now lol xxxx happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they don't want a social they just want a shag... I ain't up for that... Or they would be too embarrassed to be seen out with me... Also not up for that either... I pretty much only meet socially these days

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By *atentHeelsCouple
over a year ago

Salford

We don’t do socials, because we don’t meet outside of a club so no point. The “social” for us is at the club. If people want to play they need to come along on nights we go and see if we get on. As always, no guarantees though.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I ALWAYS have a social first and have never had a guy say no. If he did, we wouldn't be a match as he probably wants to hit and run which is not what i want. Not a judgement though.

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By *vriderMan
over a year ago

Chester

"My preference is meet, make sure we're both not serial killers, then back to the place for sex.

But respect others rules and wants. "

Tbf, what are the chances of the person you meet being a serial killer too??

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By *aldyreynoldsMan
over a year ago

Oldbury

I enjoy a social meet.

Whether it develops into something further is by the by.

Sometimes conversation is enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting "

Absolutely. We do the same every time

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting

Absolutely. We do the same every time "

Hello

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always always always a social should be the first thing organised and go in with lots of anticipation but no expectations other than pleasant company...anything that happens during or after should be considered a major bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Socials always. It's a nice neutral setting with no expectation and It's where your can be yourself the most while gauging each others chemistry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting

Absolutely. We do the same every time

Hello

Good afternoon Young Private x

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting

Absolutely. We do the same every time

Hello

Good afternoon Young Private x"

Should I bring my kissing stool

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

"No, too much like a date for me

How do you know you will get on? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always a social for us first. We like to laugh and chat and see if we're actually gonna get on.

If you can't have a laugh and a carry on, there's no chance of us wanting to invite you to our boudoir

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting

Absolutely. We do the same every time

Hello

Good afternoon Young Private x

Should I bring my kissing stool

Stop it sexy bum

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

If someone thinks they can decide they want to fuck me after half a dozen messages, without talking to me or seeing me in the flesh, (so to speak) I probably don't want to fuck them.

Social first, neutral ground.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"If someone thinks they can decide they want to fuck me after half a dozen messages, without talking to me or seeing me in the flesh, (so to speak) I probably don't want to fuck them.

Social first, neutral ground."

Good to see you back

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting

Absolutely. We do the same every time

Hello

Good afternoon Young Private x

Should I bring my kissing stool

Stop it sexy bum

x "

Nope, you want me to look you in the eyes don't you x

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"If someone thinks they can decide they want to fuck me after half a dozen messages, without talking to me or seeing me in the flesh, (so to speak) I probably don't want to fuck them.

Social first, neutral ground.

Good to see you back

Thanks very much. Hope you're both ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like socials not saying I wouldn’t play after the social, especially if we click

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A social is a must for us, we like to know if we have a spark with people we are meeting

Absolutely. We do the same every time

Hello

Good afternoon Young Private x

Should I bring my kissing stool

Stop it sexy bum

Nope, you want me to look you in the eyes don't you x

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Good morning all. My first time posting.

Am I doing this all wrong. I was on here few yrs ago and I always met socially first for a drink n chat n met some lovely fellas.

This time on I can't seem to get past chatting on here. Noone wants to meet up n see if we click. One fella said well it's not a dating site is it. What do you all do. "

Depending how well the chatting has went actually getting to know each other and not wanting to leap straight forward but wanting to explore further with a social is like continuing the chemistry but in person something that I enjoy and think is sensible as much as important

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By *exy Ruby 100 300Couple
over a year ago

unknown

Definitely a social for us,as until you are in the company of the person or persons you won't be sure if the chemistry is there ,as couldn't have sex without it,Ruby x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd only ever meet with the intention to fuck straight away if I'd spent a long time speaking with said person and knew they were genuine through video chats etc.

But I would never ever risk it with someone I didn't know well. I'd always have a social first to make sure we clicked and it felt right.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I'm happy to have a social, I don't see why anyone wouldn't be happy to just socialise and see how well you get on first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m going to give the social thing a try. If I don’t like it won’t try it again. At least I know straight away what people I’m dealing with, rather than like looking at a picture or video.

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