FabSwingers.com forum: Are You Ugly?..........

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

...........how would you know?

Been on here a while now and having read the upteenth thread on looks, size, attractiveness, ugliness etc I wanted to ask a question.

If you can be bothered to read this my question is at the end of the post.

The fact is that if you take a cross section of society, put them in a room and show them pictures of strangers, some pictures will be labelled ugly by the majority whereas some will be labelled attractive by the similar majority.

Lets not sugarcoat it, when groups of people assess anyones purely physical appearance no one is 'gorgeous' to everyone. Nobody is hideously ugly to everyone. The overwhelming majority of us sit somewhere in the middle of the bell curve.

I class attraction based on a 'picture' idea of someone as 2 dimensional.

NOBODY is a picture, they are more than that.

If you see someone in real life you are faced with the 'picture' of that person (the purely physical visual), but you also immediately see so much more. You see their mannerisms, you may hear their voice, their dress sense, their demeanor. In fact the 'picture' quickly becomes lost in so much more.

I class this attraction, based on observation in the real world, as 3 dimensional.

When you actually meet someone, you've normally gone through the 2 dimensional and 3 dimentional stage, sometimes very quickly. Once you start to converse, either initially with body language and then verbally you start to appreciate things like levels of intelligence, ability to socially interact, wit, humour, manners, patience, generosity, in fact all the qualities that make an individual what they are.

I class attraction based on this as 4th dimensional.

I totally believe that attraction based on the 4th dimension means more and lasts longer than the 3rd which in turn lasts longer than the 2nd.

The problem is apart from maybe forums and possibly some very good profiles, using the Internet to attract is currently dominated by the 2 dimensional, which in turn feeds even more of our societies obsession with the 2 dimensional image of people.

So if you bothered to read all that, you'll be asking what's the point of my thread, well I guess it's bit of a rant but with a curious edge. I really dislike when anyone descibes themselves as ugly. Oh I know some are just attention seekers wanting the sycophants to disagree, but some seem to really mean it.

Have they really lost themselves completely in the 2 dimensional world? I don't know why but I find that thought quite sad. Will that only get worse in the future as the net takes over more and more?

I know we all live in the real world, but as individual adults are we losing touch or diminishing the value of what I call the 3rd and 4th dimension of attractiveness?

How does anyone know they're ugly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Often the really very attractive ones are trying to play down their attractiveness so as not to appear shallow.

just an opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

quite often feel down and ugly or a little bit fat with my 2 chins and 2 bellys lol..

it`s just the way normal people feel sometimes against the beautiful..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sharon is very attractive and says she would never go out with an ugly guy. Guess I can't be that ugly then...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sharon is very attractive and says she would never go out with an ugly guy. Guess I can't be that ugly then..."

not wanting to boast - but my hubby is as ugly as f@c# - but i love him..

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

To be on the safe side, I usually wear a large brown paper bag over my head at meets so the others don't have to look at me!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jane wears glasses so I believe she isn't quite sure if i'm a hoofin munter or not

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

An interesting little monograph.

Just as you see attractiveness as, ultimately, 4th dimensional the same is true of ugliness.

I have met some truly physically attractive people in their photographs only to find that their core is rotten. The Dorian Gray's.

How one feels about oneself is a different matter. It might be distorted by some body dysmorphia caused by the messages, real or otherwise, they have heard.

On another thread someone said that their mother told them they were ugly. Mine did the same. I look so much like her that one ex saw a photo of her and thought it was me. I have not grown to believe I am ugly and think I am quite attractive but I do not think of myself as worthy of attention, let alone more. What did my mother feel about herself? I don't really know but I suspect she was told she was ugly too.

We are at least half of how others see us. Those with facial difigurements with a light that shines so brightly in them that you are drawn to them are never thought of as ugly.

I do have concerns about the emphasis on a standard visual of 'beauty' that is being presented across the world. Black women lightening their skin and straightening their hair is because we have been presented with a 'white' image of attractive. Young men and women becoming anorexic because skin and bones has become and ideal. I don't know how we reverse this but maybe we should all re-read Fat is Feminist Issue and look at what it tells us about our minds, bodies and societal conditioning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"quite often feel down and ugly or a little bit fat with my 2 chins and 2 bellys lol..

it`s just the way normal people feel sometimes against the beautiful.. "
2 chins and 2 bellies?well there are 2 of you in the couple isn't there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cannot answer for other people, however, I have never considered myself as ugly, physically or otherwise.

There are physical features that I am proud of, and am good at making the most of what my maker has given me.

I have strengths that I am very proud of, such as honesty, integrity and dependability, creativity, and a quick wit.

Those who reject me based on physical attributes are unlikely to appreciate my none physical strengths. They are likely to be too shallow for my liking.

For me to like a person, he/she needs to have depths, to make me want to know more about that person.

The inner beauty of a person will last long after his/her physical attributes have deteriorated, or lost completely.

I miss the inner beauties of those that I have lost the most.

Hope this makes sense.

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

From my point of view when considering someone for a meet, I always work on the format that every woman has some aspect of "beauty" about her.

It might be how she looks facially, her body, her legs, how she dresses, or how she looks undressed (

). It could simply be her personality, or with some, how much inner sex appeal she oozes, even down to her laugh!

Yes, I have met some ladies who have described themselves as athletic, when in reality, they have been anything but.

However, how someone describes themselves is subjective. Everyone will always embellish some facet of themselves to get somewhere with someone or something. It's Human Nature to do so!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think all you said is spot on re the layered dimension of peoples views. There is a mainstream view of attractiveness that most folk would agree on but most definitely the sexiest thing is intelligence, wit and personality - however for a swinger site in particular that probably means they need to have some kind of physical attractiveness too. I think we need all our senses to be stimulated to have the best of swinging - the ones on here that think swinging=fucking are those that do not understand what swinging is really about . NSA means exactly that but not fucking on request.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Physically i hand on heart do not believe i am an ugly person, however there are traits to my personality that are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my spidey sense is tingling...someones ugly behind me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To be on the safe side, I usually wear a large brown paper bag over my head at meets so the others don't have to look at me!!

I appreciate the attempt to inject humour, but why did you feel the need to do it by putting yourself down?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"An interesting little monograph.

Just as you see attractiveness as, ultimately, 4th dimensional the same is true of ugliness.

I have met some truly physically attractive people in their photographs only to find that their core is rotten. The Dorian Gray's.

How one feels about oneself is a different matter. It might be distorted by some body dysmorphia caused by the messages, real or otherwise, they have heard.

We are at least half of how others see us. Those with facial difigurements with a light that shines so brightly in them that you are drawn to them are never thought of as ugly.

A very interesting response, thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I cannot answer for other people, however, I have never considered myself as ugly, physically or otherwise.

There are physical features that I am proud of, and am good at making the most of what my maker has given me.

I have strengths that I am very proud of, such as honesty, integrity and dependability, creativity, and a quick wit.

Those who reject me based on physical attributes are unlikely to appreciate my none physical strengths. They are likely to be too shallow for my liking.

For me to like a person, he/she needs to have depths, to make me want to know more about that person.

The inner beauty of a person will last long after his/her physical attributes have deteriorated, or lost completely.

I miss the inner beauties of those that I have lost the most.

Hope this makes sense.

Makes perfect sense, thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think all you said is spot on re the layered dimension of peoples views. There is a mainstream view of attractiveness that most folk would agree on but most definitely the sexiest thing is intelligence, wit and personality - however for a swinger site in particular that probably means they need to have some kind of physical attractiveness too. I think we need all our senses to be stimulated to have the best of swinging - the ones on here that think swinging=fucking are those that do not understand what swinging is really about . NSA means exactly that but not fucking on request. "

Thank you. I suppose swinging means different things to different people, maybe instant short term gratification simply does not require attraction beyond the very basic.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Physically i hand on heart do not believe i am an ugly person, however there are traits to my personality that are."

Those traits that you see as 'ugly', do you believe they are universally ugly?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"From my point of view when considering someone for a meet, I always work on the format that every woman has some aspect of "beauty" about her.

It might be how she looks facially, her body, her legs, how she dresses, or how she looks undressed (

). It could simply be her personality, or with some, how much inner sex appeal she oozes, even down to her laugh!

Yes, I have met some ladies who have described themselves as athletic, when in reality, they have been anything but.

However, how someone describes themselves is subjective. Everyone will always embellish some facet of themselves to get somewhere with someone or something. It's Human Nature to do so!"

Have you always managed to find some beauty in every women you've met?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Physically i hand on heart do not believe i am an ugly person, however there are traits to my personality that are.

Those traits that you see as 'ugly', do you believe they are universally ugly?"

jealousy.. and although i once tried to put a spin on it and say 'well if i didnt care id not be jealous' i since realized its all ugly

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ugly for me is about personality and looks, i believe there are very few peoople that have nothing going for them. Plain people can radiate with a wonderful personality. But then ugly is about personality, someone can be seen as physically attractvie but have and ugly personality. Majority of people fall in the average looks some at the bottom end of the scale and some at the top. But physcially i find very few truelly ugly people

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By *wencatWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Somedays I feel very ugly I think it goes hand in hand with what mood we in don't think I have ever felt completely happy but I do try to look my best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm that ugly I hear the mirror mutter "ooh fuck he's coming this way" before it turns round..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good post

i think most of those that call themselves ugly will be doing so from life/real world experience. whether ur attractive or unattractive the people out there in the real world are gonna let you know about it one way or another

depending which way ur majority goes, majority tends to rule

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ugly for me is about personality and looks, i believe there are very few peoople that have nothing going for them. Plain people can radiate with a wonderful personality. But then ugly is about personality, someone can be seen as physically attractvie but have and ugly personality. Majority of people fall in the average looks some at the bottom end of the scale and some at the top. But physcially i find very few truelly ugly people"

Personally I feel as if im in the plain Jane category I'm not gorjus by any means but I also don't believe I'm ugly I do however seem to hold a room and my pals are often in awe of me and my confidence which seems to attract people to me, I think my attitude and obvious love and acceptance for myself shines and radiates out of me I firmly believe that although not many of us can see a persons aura I believe our sixth sense picks up on it

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Your Q was - How does anyone know they are ugly?

A possible answer is......

Since the dawn of time there have been standards of beauty , perceptions if you 'd rather. These - as we all know change over time and place.

People striving to achieve these standards and failing-will consider themselves ugly until such a time in their life that they realise conformism isn't necessarily beautiful. Until they realise that constantly seeking external approval is where they are falling down. Once they accept that making the best of who they are first and what they are second they will stop focusing on rates of beauty and feel good.

I was quite an age - well not exactly a child - when I realised that no matter what I did - my legs would never be long. I think I watched Lives and Loves of a She Devil from a different perspective to a lot of women. ( Those who remember the bone implants will get where I'm coming from )

I'm digressing .. Simply - if you do not 'come up' to what society calls beautiful ( and it's usually an external measure ) you are on a scale that slips from Not beautiful - to not very attractive - to ugly - to Christ Poor Kid...

People KNOW when they don't have 'it'.

There are one hell of a lot of beautiful 'ugly' people out there. You can't help but notice them. They ooze inner beauty and fun, take pride in their appearance, and don't spend their time belittling others to feel good.

My measure of someone's beauty is if I like being with them.... they are gorgeous.

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By *hyguy 43Man
over a year ago

Swansea

im not ugly im more dopey looking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/08/12 08:51:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...........how would you know?

Been on here a while now and having read the upteenth thread on looks, size, attractiveness, ugliness etc I wanted to ask a question.

If you can be bothered to read this my question is at the end of the post.

The fact is that if you take a cross section of society, put them in a room and show them pictures of straHngers, some pictures will be labelled ugly by the majority whereas some will be labelled attractive by the similar majority.

I class attraction based on a 'picture' idea of someone as 2 dimensional.

NOBODY is a picture, they are more than that.

I class this attraction, based on observation in the real world, as 3 dimensional.

I class attraction based on this as 4th dimensional.

I totally believe that attraction based on the 4th dimension means more and lasts longer than the 3rd which in turn lasts longer than the 2nd.

Have they really lost themselves completely in the 2 dimensional world? I don't know why but I find that thought quite sad. Will that only get worse in the future as the net takes over more and more?

I know we all live in the real world, but as individual adults are we losing touch or diminishing the value of what I call the 3rd and 4th dimension of attractiveness?

How does anyone know they're ugly?

See - now this is what I meant yesterday!!!

Well put spice!! Gold star!!

Personally I believe you should take others opinions with a major pinch of salt, evaluate their motives, decide how much faith you have in their opinion - and then sod em - and revel in your own beauty - be it inner, outer or in most cases - a healthy dose of both!!

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By *onboy777Man
over a year ago

Newark

I'm one ugly mo fo so I've been told and you have to think if there telling the truth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad my post made some sort of sense, as it was very late in the night when I posted it.

I may not be a classically beautiful woman, however, I know I am attractive to those who appreciate my inner strengths and attributes.

Now if that is not big-headed, I don't know what is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can i be bold ? But sorry im defo not ugly if i was chocolate id eat myself sorry but i have alot of self worth couldnt care if someone ever said i was ugly because i wouldnt believe them, im never down on myself and my hubby is a hottie aswell xxx everyone should love themselves xxxx

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

".......

How does anyone know they're ugly?

Actually there is a test…. or list of measures if you like. It starts with face symmetry and then goes on to look at the size and proportion of the facial features.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Can i be bold ? But sorry im defo not ugly if i was chocolate id eat myself sorry but i have alot of self worth couldnt care if someone ever said i was ugly because i wouldnt believe them, im never down on myself and my hubby is a hottie aswell xxx everyone should love themselves xxxx"

Pmsl I am going to try that what a great response. "Jesus your ugly ! "

"sorry I don't believe you"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have days when I feel ugly but ultimately it's something I can't change so I can get past it and move on or I can get caught up in it and let it hold me back. I know which option I prefer.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

[Removed by poster at 29/08/12 09:18:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I'm ugly, but I would like to be better looking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think of myself as ugly, but then I don't think of myself as that attractive either.. I have days when loving myself is easier than others as I guess most people do.

I can do more about personality traits and trying to ensure I am a 'nice' person than I can about any problems I have about the way I look so that is what I choose to focus on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt say im ugly or pretty, just plain, ordinary is fine, i wouldnt stand out in a crowd but i havent been beaten with an ugly stick either. Sometimes i can have an ugly temper though and that isnt pretty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think i am ugly, just average if you have personality and confidence i don't think what you see in the mirror should matter. Pork likes what he see's and that's all that counts, i am constantly being told that i am lovely and sexy, but i think it's just down to what i do and not what i look like !!... Maybe i should turn the lights on next time we have a meet...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"quite often feel down and ugly or a little bit fat with my 2 chins and 2 bellys lol..

it`s just the way normal people feel sometimes against the beautiful.. "

Totally agree

i feel ugly most of the time but people say "no your not"

Years of psychological and other abuse leaves it marks

I do sometimes feel okay but not gorgeous

make up is great because folk cant see the real me

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

a good topic with some interesting responses....

it really is a truism that beauty is only skin deep..

met some 'beautifull' looking people where after a little while you realise that yes they meet the 'breed standard' but by feck they are deeply 'ugly' inside..

we are more than just a percentage on a company's balance sheet, yet how many still follow the herd to conform with fashion etc..

therefore keeping going the obscenity that says to some you wont be anything successfull in this society if you dont 'look' good, wear the lable's, follow the pack etc etc..

funny old game...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

excellent thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am ugly, been told enough, I can see their point. I do however have an amzingly muscular body, two degrees and have also been told I am very funny. Thing about facial looks is it's genetic, like cock size or boobs, whereas thigs you can control like body, personality are what attract me to people, not an idealised view of what beauty is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/08/12 11:10:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always believed “Ugly” is not a suitable word for judging someones aesthetic appearance….

But it is an apt term to illustrate what cruel nasty people are on the inside….

Unfortunately more and more of today’s society have lost sight that genetically inherited beauty is not an achievement, its simply an accident of birth!!!!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Like a couple of other people on this thread mine was a text book case of your fat, ugly, noone wants you, you should be greatful im with you. (they must of all gone to the same school of learning) I beleived it, coupled with abuse and the fact i wasnt allowed to hold my head up when we went out.

However, im the winner, i know im not "beautiful" but im happy, confident, want to loose a few more stone. But im truely content. I make the most of my appearance. I just wish he could see me now, but unfortunatly hes dead. But he made me the person i am today, but i was never going to feel like that again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a looks kind of girl , I see myself as normal looks wise ( mental mind wise hehe ) but as for looks in a meet I'm more interested in the way they hold them selves ( not in a rude way lol ) smiles giggles and witty banter really does it for me

I've never really gone for the drop dead jaw dropping type because there usually morons whanting you to stroke there ego insted of enjoying eachother !

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Another really "cool" thread, Blackspice, and one that makes me want to post.

I agree with the notion of a multi-layered concept of dimensional beauty or attractiveness. Furthermore, some of what we consider attractive has its roots in transference which is based on our individual childhood/adolescence experience. Furthermore, there are cultural, racial and historical aspects to what is considered attractive.

Personally I have an idea of what I am likely to be attracted to in a man - and an even clearer picture as to what would not be attractive. Interestingly, while a "less attractive" (by my standards)man can "win" me over through a great personality and intellect - this would not necessarily make him sexually attractive. I might like him as a friend but would not consider him for sexual encounters. Conversely, a "physically attractive" (again by my standards) man who lacks personality and intellect could not win me over if on opening his mouth he reveals an unpleasant character or comes across as being a bit thick.

I guess the bottom line for me is that even in the swinging scene.... I need a modicum of both - and perhaps that is why I choose not to meet that many people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another really "cool" thread, Blackspice, and one that makes me want to post.

I guess the bottom line for me is that even in the swinging scene.... I need a modicum of both - and perhaps that is why I choose not to meet that many people. "

Think that sums it up nicely!!!!

Fancy a shag?

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Another really "cool" thread, Blackspice, and one that makes me want to post.

I guess the bottom line for me is that even in the swinging scene.... I need a modicum of both - and perhaps that is why I choose not to meet that many people.

Think that sums it up nicely!!!!

Fancy a shag?

"
Thought you were hung over? Ah, now I understand... you have been looking at my profile through whiskey googles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?", well thats what some think of me when I've been with someone. what repels others can attracts others.

two people on an empty island, one of them isnt attracted to the other (if they are sexual people sociable creatures),eventually, personality traits/actions will become more important that that of the on the surface stuff.

Remember Robinson Crusoe was racist homophobic slave trader, and man friday was a cannibal.They hugged alot.

*last part is entirely fictitious

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?""

And same applies in reverse - you see what one might generally class as attractive man and he is with a mumsy kind of woman...clearly there are other factors at play and I am not talking money or power sometimes...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?"

Yep!

Sometimes they make really nice cakes!!!!

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?"

Yep!

Sometimes they make really nice cakes!!!!

"
You!!!!!! Honestly... you are soooooo shallow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?"

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?"

welll i did mean everyones perspective lol, but u get my point.Personally a high maintenance gorgeous(by peoples standards),self obsessed etc...would be far more ugly to me than a geeky plain scientist girl(she'd have to have bouts of fun aspects though). "
Agreed and yes, I did get you totally - (shame only on the forum lol) and I was just being a bit mischievous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?"

Yep!

Sometimes they make really nice cakes!!!!

You!!!!!! Honestly... you are soooooo shallow!

Just being honest!! A nice cake can tip the balance on the 'do I/don't I' dilemna!!

Had I been shallow I'd simply have stated that a 'wazzer pair of jugs' or a 'bum that could crack walnuts' would equally tip the balance!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ever walked down the street and thought(from my male perspective),"what the fuck is she doing with him?"

welll i did mean everyones perspective lol, but u get my point.Personally a high maintenance gorgeous(by peoples standards),self obsessed etc...would be far more ugly to me than a geeky plain scientist girl(she'd have to have bouts of fun aspects though). Agreed and yes, I did get you totally - (shame only on the forum lol) and I was just being a bit mischievous

hey Aphrodite..Ive just taken one of those nutty professor potions..I'm now A BUFF self obsessed HUNK...I wouldnt shag u

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG !!!!!

Very Heavy topic for sswingers sex dating site lol

We all come on here for our reasons and with that comes risks; are we fit/clean/smart/intelligent/sexy enough to satisfy other interest in me sort of thing ...

Beauty is in the beholder and comes from within and your personality allows you to express that beauty to others ......... or your just a minger in which case bulk buy some paper bags lol hehehe

come on you didnt expect a serious answer from me did you lol

NB: note to self to cut down on coffee

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By *afeSensualGentMan
over a year ago

Reading

Your mother should've told you and mine says I'm a very handsome boy.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

The ugly ones usually have facial warts, strange eyes, odd hair and what not. They are easy to tell.

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By *rankOfileMan
over a year ago

France

judging by the response I get on here. I have to assume Im UGLY

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"judging by the response I get on here. I have to assume Im UGLY

Now take that right back Frank!!!

I wont have you put yourself down in that way!

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By *rankOfileMan
over a year ago

France

cheers funky...but it does appear that way to me.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Brilliant post Blackspice and one that is going to get a rare serious answer off me....I seldom post on the attractiveness threads, I see myself as a normal woman, bit overweight, scrubs up reasonably well, plenty of wobbly bits and boobs that are more southern than KFC.....I'd never class myself as either attractive OR ugly as I know some folk call me gorgeous and I've had others not answer when I've sent a face pic so obviously I'm not their type.....that said for me, personality shines through, and if I received a message or series of messages that ran like a conversation, I'd be more likely to meet that person with a view to eventually getting together....whereas if I received a set of "Hi, how are you's" off a Beckham lookalike then I'd get fed up and block them......engage my brain and you've a much better chance of getting at my ladybits (I'd even consider giving them a wipe

(sorry, I know I said it'd be a serious post but you know I can't help myself))

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to think i am a happy individual a positive person as i know what we think about ourselves becomes true to us .. I accept i am not the best at some things .. I am a loving person and has taken me years to love and like myself for who i am inside Not about looks to me.As what good looking to one person is not to others .. Ugly to me is a nasty person thats what makes them Ugly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am minging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am minging"
you cant be as you make me smile alot here , lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

funny story. my son is very good looking but has only just started believing it as everyone tells him. the other week he walked in and said he should be in hollyoaks. apparently someone had told him he should be in hollyoaks as there all good looking. talk about going from one extreme to the other

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i get what the OP is saying, people ive met from the internet all think im like my pictues or better in the flesh (other than one who was young and said i had gypsy eyes , what ever the feck that meant lol) but there is always going to be someone who doesnt think that about me, pictures do not paint a true picture of someone, ive met women who looked good in pictures, but the camera lied for them, so you cant judge people on just a picture, but they do here as 80% are shallow

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"..........

Have they really lost themselves completely in the 2 dimensional world? I don't know why but I find that thought quite sad. Will that only get worse in the future as the net takes over more and more?

I know we all live in the real world, but as individual adults are we losing touch or diminishing the value of what I call the 3rd and 4th dimension of attractiveness?

Do you really think it is the internet which is doing this?

If the internet vanished tomorrow, do you think anything would change in the way people perceive themselves?

Do many of the answers to your question, no matter how much people take the middle line and say 'average' just not go to prove how important it really is to them....... surely the answer to 'how do you know if you are ugly' should be.... "I don't know and I don't care".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pmsl I am going to try that what a great response. "Jesus your ugly ! "

"sorry I don't believe you"

Fantatsic !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pmsl I am going to try that what a great response. "Jesus your ugly ! "

"sorry I don't believe you"

Fantatsic !!!

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

"...........how would you know?

How does anyone know they're ugly?

if you are told often enough, then you believe it.....

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By *rankOfileMan
over a year ago

France

Im sure you are gorgeous

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Brilliant post Blackspice and one that is going to get a rare serious answer off me....I seldom post on the attractiveness threads, I see myself as a normal woman, bit overweight, scrubs up reasonably well, plenty of wobbly bits and boobs that are more southern than KFC.....I'd never class myself as either attractive OR ugly as I know some folk call me gorgeous and I've had others not answer when I've sent a face pic so obviously I'm not their type.....that said for me, personality shines through, and if I received a message or series of messages that ran like a conversation, I'd be more likely to meet that person with a view to eventually getting together....whereas if I received a set of "Hi, how are you's" off a Beckham lookalike then I'd get fed up and block them......engage my brain and you've a much better chance of getting at my ladybits (I'd even consider giving them a wipe

(sorry, I know I said it'd be a serious post but you know I can't help myself))"
I am so totally stunned at seeing a serious post from you - but then you never let me down, do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Beauty can't be defined....just ideals of it given to us by groups or individuals....my personal opinion is I'm me...if some find me attractive wohooo for those who dont fair play....I'm not someone who needs to be told I am pretty or stunning to know I'm the best I can be....our dna isn't attractive in its first form...we make do with our genes....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I would like to thank you all for contributing to this thread, there have been some very interesting responses, it's been an enjoyable read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Ugly is in the eye of the one who gets to hold nothing...

Well, they ain't holding mine anyway...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work hard to look good so no Im not ugly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not good enough to have any pics on profile though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one womans hunk is another womans mr. average, as long as he is a nice person, the sort of person i can get on with and have fun, thats all that matters. you can be ugly on the outside as well as ugly on the inside and i have met a few people like that.

less attractive people have got more reasons to be miserable and angry.

not always though, of course.

as in little man syndrome.

i have met some nice good looking men who werent up their own arses, just as many ordinary men think they are better than what they are.

people usualy treat attractive people better, if your ugly you have to try harder, unless you arent bothered if people like you anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...........how would you know?

Been on here a while now and having read the upteenth thread on looks, size, attractiveness, ugliness etc I wanted to ask a question.

If you can be bothered to read this my question is at the end of the post.

I class attraction based on a 'picture' idea of someone as 2 dimensional.

NOBODY is a picture, they are more than that.

I class this attraction, based on observation in the real world, as 3 dimensional.

I class attraction based on this as 4th dimensional.

I totally believe that attraction based on the 4th dimension means more and lasts longer than the 3rd which in turn lasts longer than the 2nd.

Have they really lost themselves completely in the 2 dimensional world? I don't know why but I find that thought quite sad. Will that only get worse in the future as the net takes over more and more?

I know we all live in the real world, but as individual adults are we losing touch or diminishing the value of what I call the 3rd and 4th dimension of attractiveness?

How does anyone know they're ugly?

Hmm.I am not a Buddhist but sections of your post help me to understand why Buddhists talk about Westerners needing to 'quell the demons of their minds".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...........how would you know?

How does anyone know they're ugly?

if you are told often enough, then you believe it....."

Only if you have a weak ego to begin with.

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By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro

Dunno .... are we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dunno .... are we?

Welcome back

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

"Dunno .... are we?

Good to see you back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ugly is a bad term, i prefer rough around the edges, I'm no model, i still have my teeth, and hair, although many years working doors and living a nasty life has left my face a little lop sided, a twist on the nose, one cheek slightly lower than the other, sunken eyes, so i know it takes a certain person to find me attractive, but i do suffer with body dismorphia, i don't like my shape, and i feel smaller than i am, especially around others, but that's my personal view. If you ask my wife she will tell you I'm rough around the edges, my manors need some work, she loves my "big muscles" in total I'm just a big bear that needs cuddles.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Dunno .... are we?

Nah, Jack's maybe a bit rough round the edges, but Kate looks good to me Welcome back, nice to see you again

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By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro

"Dunno .... are we?

Nah, Jack's maybe a bit rough round the edges, but Kate looks good to me Welcome back, nice to see you again

rough, rough? I'll show you rough, lol

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Dunno .... are we?

Nah, Jack's maybe a bit rough round the edges, but Kate looks good to me Welcome back, nice to see you again

rough, rough? I'll show you rough, lol

Promises, promises...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes im ugly but each to there own

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By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro

"Dunno .... are we?

Nah, Jack's maybe a bit rough round the edges, but Kate looks good to me Welcome back, nice to see you again

rough, rough? I'll show you rough, lol

Promises, promises...

I've never been told I was ugly, but have been told I look scary on more than one occaision, that's why I wear the shades to soften my face

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Dunno .... are we?

Nah, Jack's maybe a bit rough round the edges, but Kate looks good to me Welcome back, nice to see you again

rough, rough? I'll show you rough, lol

Promises, promises...

I've never been told I was ugly, but have been told I look scary on more than one occaision, that's why I wear the shades to soften my face

Scary, my arse...maybe on a dark night if I were up to mischief and bumped into you, but otherwise not a lot scares me (apart from me Mam when I'm in her bad books) I wear me shades to hide the fact that my eyes usually look like pissholes in the snow and farmers take pot-shots at my crow's feet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know i am not ugly. some days i know i look fantastic (not boasting) and some days i look normal.

but i am me somedays i look better than others. i dont think noone is ugly

after all ther is someone for everyone

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By *uckknowsMan
over a year ago

here

"im not ugly im more dopey looking

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By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro

"Dunno .... are we?

Nah, Jack's maybe a bit rough round the edges, but Kate looks good to me Welcome back, nice to see you again

rough, rough? I'll show you rough, lol

Promises, promises...

I've never been told I was ugly, but have been told I look scary on more than one occaision, that's why I wear the shades to soften my face

Hey, I can do a look that would make Rambo shit himself

It's kept me safe on more than one occaision

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By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro

To be serious for a moment, it's nice to see a lot of self confident comments from a lot of people, and I for one find that a very attractive trait.

You're all bloody lovely, just tell 'em Jack said so

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I feel bloody gorgeous at the moment.. is that wrong to feel??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel bloody gorgeous at the moment.. is that wrong to feel??"

no it isnt x

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By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro

"I feel bloody gorgeous at the moment.. is that wrong to feel??"

let me feel you and I'll tell you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel bloody gorgeous at the moment.. is that wrong to feel??"

hell no!! wooop wooop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just wonder if people who self-indulgently claim they are ugly have alternative words they use to describe people who suffer from genuine facial disfigurement.

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By *uggers nemesisCouple
over a year ago

london

This is fascinating and well thought out thread,i suffered terribly from acne as a teenager,i hated going anywhere and showing my face to anyone,as i have become older my face has beome permanently scarred but now a lot of women say they find that attractive.I suppose the reality is society has dictated what ugly and beautiful is.ive met some really gorgeous people who are ugly on the inside and vice versa.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.Its like when you see a very attractive women with a not so attractive guy we wonder how the fuck they pulled them,not realizing that the relationship isnt just built on looks alone.Most beautiful women will only go with a hunky beautiful guy whom they believe are deserving of there beauty and time.Maybe we just naturally label ourselves and then try to find a partner who we believe is at the same level or slightly higher on the beauty scale than ourselves,we dont dare to try and go out of our league.It reminds me of the nightclub situation,at the beginning of the night all the guys are trying to pulthe best looking women in the club not realizing most of them have no chance,but give it a few hours and a few beers and at the end of the night all the guys are searching the club for fat women who they think will fuck them before its to late and time to go home

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Jeeze, Blackspice, what HAVE you done? We are still debating what is ugly and what is not... and no final decision in sight! Can we not all declare outselves ugly ... in same way as we are swingers?

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By *uggers nemesisCouple
over a year ago

london

i like this response lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the question is asked in the first person perspective I would say no I am not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As the question is asked in the first person perspective I would say no I am not.

Is that based on comparing yourself to others or on?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Dear Mr Spice.... If you want a real insight into where people place the importance of the two dimensional .... just post that since coming on here you have dropped your standards.

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By *gentprovocateurWoman
over a year ago

leeds

"Dear Mr Spice.... If you want a real insight into where people place the importance of the two dimensional .... just post that since coming on here you have dropped your standards."
if i am ugly i am in complete denial of the fact!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is fascinating and well thought out thread,i suffered terribly from acne as a teenager,i hated going anywhere and showing my face to anyone,as i have become older my face has beome permanently scarred but now a lot of women say they find that attractive.I suppose the reality is society has dictated what ugly and beautiful is.ive met some really gorgeous people who are ugly on the inside and vice versa.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.Its like when you see a very attractive women with a not so attractive guy we wonder how the fuck they pulled them,not realizing that the relationship isnt just built on looks alone.Most beautiful women will only go with a hunky beautiful guy whom they believe are deserving of there beauty and time.Maybe we just naturally label ourselves and then try to find a partner who we believe is at the same level or slightly higher on the beauty scale than ourselves,we dont dare to try and go out of our league.It reminds me of the nightclub situation,at the beginning of the night all the guys are trying to pulthe best looking women in the club not realizing most of them have no chance,but give it a few hours and a few beers and at the end of the night all the guys are searching the club for fat women who they think will fuck them before its to late and time to go home"

Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

I don't consider myself anything special in the looks department, but I know some people who think I'm gorgeous.

I'm certainly not going to disavow them of that opinion.

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By *rSinfulMan
over a year ago

mysteryville

I guess I must be encountering people on here in the 1st dimension. Really need some 4th dimension interaction

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By *rSinfulMan
over a year ago

mysteryville

As for attractiveness on here I'd say I'd be ugly to most people based on only having 1 meet in 4 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. Scare myself looking in the mirror some mornings!

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

I'm no Bradley cooper or David gandy but then again I'm no elephant man lol. I know I'm not the best looking guy in the world but I do ok.

Attractiveness will always be subjective and open to interpretation but I know of quite a few ladies who think they are ugly but I actually find them very attractive so I think it's a lot to do with self confidence too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I looke in the mirror, that usually confirms it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't consider myself anything special in the looks department, but I know some people who think I'm gorgeous.

I'm certainly not going to disavow them of that opinion."

This goes for me too. I grew up believing I was 'ugly' due to sticky out ears, national health glasses and cheap haircuts. I fixed all those things and now consider myself 'unexceptional' yet sometimes I meet someone who seems to believe I am gorgeous. I have to say the compliments feel great, but I can't help thinking they must be mistaken. But if they are mistaken I am not going to try and correct their misapprehension lol.

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

No, neither of us could be accused of being ugly. The inner self is the real us though. Both wonderful, thoughtful people and proud of it.

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