FabSwingers.com forum: Status updates

By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

Oooo I’ve just seen a profile return ....

First status they upload

“Same ugly mugs here “

This really pissed me off

If they were an oil painting of epic proportion then

But let’s say ... they’re not !

Pipe down and fuck off again

What’s the worst update you’ve seen ?

Or one that annoys you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lmaooo.

Why are people so unkind? One persons idea of unattractiveness is another persons idea of beauty.

Status updates that make me cringe ‘had an amazing night, you know who you are’

‘Bored, anyone fancy playing?’ I always think charming! If you're bored go and read a book not look to people to sort your boredom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get annoyed by them - the ones asking for drugs or blatantly asking for someone to pay for membership are the closest to that.

There are some hilarious ones though

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I hate the ones where they name other profiles ie so and so is a lying bitch or they're a fake.

Or the constant moans about how crap fab is and how they're leaving, but never seem to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate the ones where they name other profiles ie so and so is a lying bitch or they're a fake.

Or the constant moans about how crap fab is and how they're leaving, but never seem to. "

'leaving when site supporter runs out'

'leaving in a few days'

'out of here soon'

Just bugger off then

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I don't really read other people's status updates

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

This is exactly why I’ve been posting funny or witty updates for about a year now, all of the moaning, negative or self aggrandising posts are just wearying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate the ones where they name other profiles ie so and so is a lying bitch or they're a fake.

Or the constant moans about how crap fab is and how they're leaving, but never seem to.

'leaving when site supporter runs out'

'leaving in a few days'

'out of here soon'

Just bugger off then "

I’ve seen the same people say that for the last 4 years I’ve been on here

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

The profiles that are a list of don'ts and definitely nots but every status update contradicts that.

For example, profile says they won't meet anyone unless they've chatted for ages and established a connection but they have daily updates saying how horny they are and need a cock, any cock!

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By *bostCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Full of fakes and time-wasters on here. Prove me wrong”.

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By *lice MaliceWoman
over a year ago

The Facility

They're another useful filter

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By *LiamMan
over a year ago

Midlands

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status "
2 jd and s at whether spoons Nottingham table 3

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I’ve never really been a fan of status updates but I have embraced it a bit more recently.

The ones I don’t care for are where they negatively name people, where they constantly say they are going to leave, if they criticise others. I just don’t see what it achieves.

Spread a little happiness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.. I like funny status'

My local area doesn't sound as exciting as some of yours... Maybe I'll move my profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those that capitalise every word make me scratch my head. Just why?

'Hi Guys. I'm Looking For Some Fun Today.' So many extra button presses

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I post the odd one but I don’t treat it as Facebook like some do and change my status as the mood changes.

It amazes me what some people will post!! Really?

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

Runs quickly to see what our status says lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘That’s it done on here I’m off ‘

‘Why won’t anyone reply to me ‘

‘Does anyone ever meet on here ‘

Just to name few

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oooo I’ve just seen a profile return ....

First status they upload

“Same ugly mugs here “

This really pissed me off

If they were an oil painting of epic proportion then

But let’s say ... they’re not !

Pipe down and fuck off again

What’s the worst update you’ve seen ?

Or one that annoys you ? "

So why did they bother to return...

Unless that constitutes as humour

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Although I have to say Beyond Purity post said me fantastic updates!

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status "

Nooo way!!! Omg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status "

Christ really!!!

now we're hitting rock bottom!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just post whatever and don't care if annoys anyone or makes them cringe. Some status do make me think why would you post that? but I'm sure people would say the same about mine.

At least they can be an extra filter for everyone (including mine)

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status

Christ really!!!

now we're hitting rock bottom!"

Don't forget the classic Sorry guys I've run out of messages and can't reply to everyone. Usually code for Can someone but me a site supporter pass?

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By *angerous123Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"Those that capitalise every word make me scratch my head. Just why?

'Hi Guys. I'm Looking For Some Fun Today.' So many extra button presses "

I immediately think low IQ when I see that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status

Christ really!!!

now we're hitting rock bottom!

Don't forget the classic Sorry guys I've run out of messages and can't reply to everyone. Usually code for Can someone but me a site supporter pass? "

Oh myy I'm a bit naive to all this...

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By *bostCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status

Christ really!!!

now we're hitting rock bottom!"

Every time Mr Pf sees one of these he sends a plate of mushy peas (69p). It seems to give him a low level of satisfaction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status

Christ really!!!

now we're hitting rock bottom!

Every time Mr Pf sees one of these he sends a plate of mushy peas (69p). It seems to give him a low level of satisfaction. "

Omg i love mushy peas... I'd be in heaven

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Does anyone ever talk on here?

Need to unload now

And people trying to sell stuff? This isn't market place.

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By *bostCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

Omg i love mushy peas... I'd be in heaven

Well you know what to do if you are ever in. Weatherspoons

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status

Christ really!!!

now we're hitting rock bottom!

Every time Mr Pf sees one of these he sends a plate of mushy peas (69p). It seems to give him a low level of satisfaction. "

I've never seen that (though I rarely look at statuses) but I'd feel the same way. Maybe add a pickled onion if possible.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status "

I’ve never seen this one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often use my status update to communicate with Sir. A secret message or a way to get him flustered as he tries to do his work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any slagging others off just because they ain't getting laid... Has made knocking some people off the social invites list a bit easier tho

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Any slagging others off just because they ain't getting laid... Has made knocking some people off the social invites list a bit easier tho

Not many guys going then??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last night was so amazing, got the best fuck of my life, my fanny is still stinging..

Tell the person you shagged then

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Lmaooo.

Why are people so unkind? One persons idea of unattractiveness is another persons idea of beauty.

Status updates that make me cringe ‘had an amazing night, you know who you are’

‘Bored, anyone fancy playing?’ I always think charming! If you're bored go and read a book not look to people to sort your boredom. "

Love this completely agree bored come play

..... get yourself a gameboy don’t they still do pok’a’mon cards

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"I don't get annoyed by them - the ones asking for drugs or blatantly asking for someone to pay for membership are the closest to that.

There are some hilarious ones though "

The drugs ones do my nut in

if your local dealer is on fab then you’re fucking at rock bottom

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"I hate the ones where they name other profiles ie so and so is a lying bitch or they're a fake.

Or the constant moans about how crap fab is and how they're leaving, but never seem to. "

Tell them to fuck off don’t come back and good riddance

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"I don't really read other people's status updates "

You’re missing out on a treat !

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"I hate the ones where they name other profiles ie so and so is a lying bitch or they're a fake.

Or the constant moans about how crap fab is and how they're leaving, but never seem to.

'leaving when site supporter runs out'

'leaving in a few days'

'out of here soon'

Just bugger off then "

fully support this

There should be a middle finger emoji

But while I’m here let me just inform you all this is my last forum post as you’re all a bunch on munchkins and I’m bored

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By *rive u crazyMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"The profiles that are a list of don'ts and definitely nots but every status update contradicts that.

For example, profile says they won't meet anyone unless they've chatted for ages and established a connection but they have daily updates saying how horny they are and need a cock, any cock!"

They match with the ones saying don't send cock pics but only sharing one single body part

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"The profiles that are a list of don'ts and definitely nots but every status update contradicts that.

For example, profile says they won't meet anyone unless they've chatted for ages and established a connection but they have daily updates saying how horny they are and need a cock, any cock!"

Just fead her your cock she needs it it’s life or death mate

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status "

These people should be banned from fab and banned from weatherspoons if you can’t buy your own drinks at weatherspoons in my eyes you are losing at life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s one woman who’ve I’ve hotlisted purely because her status updates are her constantly moaning about men, I mean if it’s that bad, then why stay ?!

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

New one recently posted .... Only add my snap if you are wanting to buy my premium - fuck offfffffff!

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"There’s one woman who’ve I’ve hotlisted purely because her status updates are her constantly moaning about men, I mean if it’s that bad, then why stay ?!"

Nice to know but I don't constantly do it.... I do have an off day

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I often use my status update to communicate with Sir. A secret message or a way to get him flustered as he tries to do his work."

I’ve done similar in the past. Put something only a certain person would understand. Mine are mostly song lyrics if I do them

. I hotlist certain people just for their statuses though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Them) 'At xyz pub tonight anyone local about to join us?'

Me) yeah, I'm local I could be sat at your table with a drink in literally minutes?

Them).........silence

Me) Block button.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

It’s the ‘I’m bored’ or ‘I’m horny’ that make me laugh. Like some lady is sat on her sofa, in her sexiest lingerie browsing through the profiles and thinking ‘he’s bored/ horny, think I’ll send him a message with my address / phone number’

Dream on

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"I often use my status update to communicate with Sir. A secret message or a way to get him flustered as he tries to do his work.

I’ve done similar in the past. Put something only a certain person would understand. Mine are mostly song lyrics if I do them

. I hotlist certain people just for their statuses though. "

I’ll keep my eye out for pitbul lyrics “ I know you want me .... you know I want you “

I’ll know you’re thinking about me

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"It’s the ‘I’m bored’ or ‘I’m horny’ that make me laugh. Like some lady is sat on her sofa, in her sexiest lingerie browsing through the profiles and thinking ‘he’s bored/ horny, think I’ll send him a message with my address / phone number’

Dream on

You know they do right !

Ladies love to know they’re entertaining a bored lifeless soap

I’ve heard

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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago

south west

I get irritated by those who are;

A) asking for fabs. Comes across as desperate to me. On the subject, photos with “fab if you would fuck me” on - same thing.

B) “men, urgh, why am I here?” Etc. If you don’t know love, neither do we.

There is a C) but I can’t remember it. Will pop back if it comes to mind!

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Usually a tongue and cheek status update, some flirty fun for me that’s what fab should be that concept seems lost on some x

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I often use my status update to communicate with Sir. A secret message or a way to get him flustered as he tries to do his work.

I’ve done similar in the past. Put something only a certain person would understand. Mine are mostly song lyrics if I do them

. I hotlist certain people just for their statuses though.

I’ll keep my eye out for pitbul lyrics “ I know you want me .... you know I want you “

I’ll know you’re thinking about me

. Thought you were sending for me so I can join you on your yacht! I’m still waiting

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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago

south west

"I get irritated by those who are;

A) asking for fabs. Comes across as desperate to me. On the subject, photos with “fab if you would fuck me” on - same thing.

B) “men, urgh, why am I here?” Etc. If you don’t know love, neither do we.

There is a C) but I can’t remember it. Will pop back if it comes to mind!"

I have a C). Re-posting the same update every few hours to get your new photo or video to the top of the hot pics list.

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"I often use my status update to communicate with Sir. A secret message or a way to get him flustered as he tries to do his work.

I’ve done similar in the past. Put something only a certain person would understand. Mine are mostly song lyrics if I do them

. I hotlist certain people just for their statuses though.

I’ll keep my eye out for pitbul lyrics “ I know you want me .... you know I want you “

I’ll know you’re thinking about me

. Thought you were sending for me so I can join you on your yacht! I’m still waiting

It’s not my yacht allthough technically I am in charge of this one I’m currently on

Will a canoe be acceptable in October time in Sheffield that’s about all I can afford

It’ll be quite an experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“Full of fakes and time-wasters on here. Prove me wrong”."

But.. but.. all the verifificatjkn flags and buttons. You means they might be fake !?!! *feign shock hirror*

ours isn’t the average status. It the kind of thing I’ll post if I remember. Which isn’t often.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're another useful filter

Yep. Agreed there.

another useful filter would be body type.. Height.. or any other metric that is or could also be taken.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s absolutely nothing more attractive than someone whinging because they can’t get a reply anyone. After all that is obviously everyone else’s fault rather than that person’s.

Or “thought this was meant to be a sex site” when their overtures to the good ladies of the site consist entirely of ‘fancy a fuk lol’ or ‘wanna meet?’.

Shockingly there are people who need to be attracted to someone in order to fuck them, whodathunkit?

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I only see the updates of friends and hotlist, I don’t look at local at all. So for the most part they are upbeat, the odd time they aren’t it’s a little flag that maybe they need a reach out, someone to talk to, so takes seconds to send that message and check all ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I laugh at them everyday. They can’t honestly think they will actually get them anywhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just seen this one right now

NOT ONE SINGLE MESSAGE FROM A SINGLE WOMAN OR COUPLES

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the very sexually explicit tactless updates quiet off putting...

Some can be sexy don't get me wrong but some are just too crude...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I often use my status update to communicate with Sir. A secret message or a way to get him flustered as he tries to do his work."

Class

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oooo I’ve just seen a profile return ....

First status they upload

“Same ugly mugs here “

This really pissed me off

If they were an oil painting of epic proportion then

But let’s say ... they’re not !

Pipe down and fuck off again

What’s the worst update you’ve seen ?

Or one that annoys you ? "

I don’t even show my face so how come??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only see the updates of friends and hotlist, I don’t look at local at all. So for the most part they are upbeat, the odd time they aren’t it’s a little flag that maybe they need a reach out, someone to talk to, so takes seconds to send that message and check all ok "

Yess - updates at their best.

Gave me a warm fuzzy feeling that idea

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Just seen this one right now

NOT ONE SINGLE MESSAGE FROM A SINGLE WOMAN OR COUPLES "

I presume not from a single lady

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"I find the very sexually explicit tactless updates quiet off putting...

Some can be sexy don't get me wrong but some are just too crude..."

Off subject .... you’re on my hotlist

Nice to meet you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oooo I’ve just seen a profile return ....

First status they upload

“Same ugly mugs here “

This really pissed me off

If they were an oil painting of epic proportion then

But let’s say ... they’re not !

Pipe down and fuck off again

What’s the worst update you’ve seen ?

Or one that annoys you ? "

These types of unkind status updates act as another good filter and we would tend to block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".... you’re on my hotlist ("

Every fucker is on ours.

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By *oson-BlueCouple
over a year ago

North Kent

There was a local single male a few weeks ago naming us in their status asking us to message him because he couldn't message us.

Um..., no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dream on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oooo I’ve just seen a profile return ....

First status they upload

“Same ugly mugs here “

... "

Maybe they were referring to themselves.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Oooo I’ve just seen a profile return ....

First status they upload

“Same ugly mugs here “

...

Maybe they were referring to themselves.

They should use tea cups instead. Pfffft.

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

Every time Mr Pf sees one of these he sends a plate of mushy peas (69p). It seems to give him a low level of satisfaction. "

That made me laugh.

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

My own are probably the worst.

They're usually just boring life updates and song lyrics that have popped into my head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any slagging others off just because they ain't getting laid... Has made knocking some people off the social invites list a bit easier tho

Not many guys going then??

Less than are getting an invite, I bet!

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status "

Buy them a boiled egg or five portions of mushy peas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find the very sexually explicit tactless updates quiet off putting...

Some can be sexy don't get me wrong but some are just too crude...

Off subject .... you’re on my hotlist

Nice to meet you

Ooooooooooohhhh I've just added you to mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve just seen this one

‘Wow most of you lassies wouldn’t get poked with a barge pole hahahah’

Needless to say he’s a single, unverified ‘man’ with no photos of himself.

It’s these types of status updates that are so unnecessary and actually help me sift out the w@nkers on here.

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"I find the very sexually explicit tactless updates quiet off putting...

Some can be sexy don't get me wrong but some are just too crude...

Off subject .... you’re on my hotlist

Nice to meet you

Ooooooooooohhhh I've just added you to mine

Oooo easy tigerrrr

If I didn’t know better I’d say you were flirting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dream on

I do occasionally move from the sofa to the kitchen to get another drink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find the very sexually explicit tactless updates quiet off putting...

Some can be sexy don't get me wrong but some are just too crude..."

And then they wonder why they can’t get a meet.

I literally shake my head in disbelief at them especially “Need my balls emptying ASAP “

Who could resist?

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"I find the very sexually explicit tactless updates quiet off putting...

Some can be sexy don't get me wrong but some are just too crude...

And then they wonder why they can’t get a meet.

I literally shake my head in disbelief at them especially “Need my balls emptying ASAP “

Who could resist?

This one grinds my gears

I wish those guys would royally do one and not come back

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By *bostCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status

Christ really!!!

now we're hitting rock bottom!

Every time Mr Pf sees one of these he sends a plate of mushy peas (69p). It seems to give him a low level of satisfaction. "

Same people right now doing it. We’ve sent them beans this time.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status

Christ really!!!

now we're hitting rock bottom!

Don't forget the classic Sorry guys I've run out of messages and can't reply to everyone. Usually code for Can someone but me a site supporter pass?

Oh myy I'm a bit naive to all this...

I’d not thought of that.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Dream on

I do occasionally move from the sofa to the kitchen to get another drink

You naughty Lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dream on

I do occasionally move from the sofa to the kitchen to get another drink

You naughty Lady

Absolutely. You've got to love a naughty lady

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I get irritated by those who are;

A) asking for fabs. Comes across as desperate to me. On the subject, photos with “fab if you would fuck me” on - same thing.

B) “men, urgh, why am I here?” Etc. If you don’t know love, neither do we.

There is a C) but I can’t remember it. Will pop back if it comes to mind!"

There's one person local to me who does the begging for Fabs thing... except I don't understand why, because she's incredibly good looking and all her photos have a four-figure numbers of fabs already. Like, how many do you need?

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

We use it as a good profile blocker. Always moaning, drugs, and ones that advertise doing women / couples a favour in a big headed way.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

My biggest grumble about statuses is that I can never think of anything to post that isn't completely mundane or utterly cringeworthy.

I gather that statuses are considered a useful way of drawing local attention to one's profile, but... I've got nothing. I don't even tend to post "[NAME OF LOCAL CLUB] tonight!", because a) nobody's going to turn up just because of me; in fact, I worry the opposite may be true, and b) I'm cautious enough to not like advertising my specific location. Hah.

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By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Kent

The “need a site support pass” status pisses my off.

I don’t know what that entails but seeing as it’s mainly 18 21 year old girls posting it, I’m guessing it’s an attempt to mooch off older gents in some way?

Enlightenment appreciated

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"The “need a site support pass” status pisses my off.

I don’t know what that entails but seeing as it’s mainly 18 21 year old girls posting it, I’m guessing it’s an attempt to mooch off older gents in some way?

Enlightenment appreciated

I've only ever seen a few asking directly for one but as I already said in a previous post above there are a couple of updates every week saying they have run out of messages and can't reply to everyone which is a more subtle way of asking.

All of these women are aged 40+.

I've chatted to one woman who admitted to doing this because she said men are gullible

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

"Every time Mr Pf sees one of these he sends a plate of mushy peas (69p). It seems to give him a low level of satisfaction.

Same people right now doing it. We’ve sent them beans this time. "

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

I love the updates, some make me laugh (and I might even send a message saying so), some make me shake my head and wonder why! Just why would you post that. Some just make me hut the hotlist button so I can avoid them x

Happy status updates peeps x

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By *uriousblondwifeCouple
over a year ago

wickford

"Runs quickly to see what our status says lol"

Ha ha

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

I get annoyed by the ones that say stuff like "_aggy dolls" get in touch... no just frickin no, if you cant message us, theres a reason for that, trying to circumnavigate filters, who even falls for that? *disclaimer I dont think anyones ever actually done it to us personally but you get the idea.

Mr Hayes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just send them a fake site supporters code.

you'll have back and forth messages for a while as they try and figure it out.

watch them explode with rage as they finally work it out youve done them

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

There’s a lot of moaning in status updates - not sure what you get from that.

We use ours usually to represent the profile pic. We like to create intrigue…but it could be seen as wanky too (I’ll say it before Meli does

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is crazy when you go on a profile and it starts with negativity and then there’s and update and reiteration every week they’ve been on here and none of its positive. People need to smile more and be happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine is currently a little negative as the last one got me some abuse, because I had only asked for women, couples and tv/ts to come join the local social thread, so it was assumed men weren't allowed

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By *othianGuy41Man
over a year ago

Eureka

"New one recently posted .... Only add my snap if you are wanting to buy my premium - fuck offfffffff!

I've seen a few doing that, or they say premium comes with a meet, so basically their prostitute's!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trying to sell pics when porn hub is free haha mental

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

When you read someones status update 5 times and it still doesn't make any sense? Its like they are talking in morse code

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status

Christ really!!!

now we're hitting rock bottom!

Every time Mr Pf sees one of these he sends a plate of mushy peas (69p). It seems to give him a low level of satisfaction. "

That is actually genius, and just made me laugh out loud

I might start doing the same if I see any similar updates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im thinking its based on the locals, going to see what todays updates are...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have just seen a great one

“Free today 9.30-11.00, who fancies a bit of car fun with a heavy cummer?”

Gosh yes, what I really want to do is drive into the country to spend an hour in a red hot car with someone I’ve never met before he has to run off back to the wife!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im thinking its based on the locals, going to see what todays updates are..."

So we have...

would like a women to fuck my ass with a fat dildo (lots of these)

Bored so going for a drive (that bored me!)

*location *looking to fuck want cock or pussy in my mouth (lots of these, one was in morrisons)

It's unbelievable this site.. Not in a good way

No wonder you get let down when you’re that fucking rude!!! (Cheers for a heads up on your character, don't know you but now your blocked)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have just seen a great one

“Free today 9.30-11.00, who fancies a bit of car fun with a heavy cummer?”

Gosh yes, what I really want to do is drive into the country to spend an hour in a red hot car with someone I’ve never met before he has to run off back to the wife!"

Loads of those in mine too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have just seen a great one

“Free today 9.30-11.00, who fancies a bit of car fun with a heavy cummer?”

Gosh yes, what I really want to do is drive into the country to spend an hour in a red hot car with someone I’ve never met before he has to run off back to the wife!

Loads of those in mine too"

I assume these are the same people who complain the site is full of fakes and they can never get a reply etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have just seen a great one

“Free today 9.30-11.00, who fancies a bit of car fun with a heavy cummer?”

Gosh yes, what I really want to do is drive into the country to spend an hour in a red hot car with someone I’ve never met before he has to run off back to the wife!

Loads of those in mine too

I assume these are the same people who complain the site is full of fakes and they can never get a reply etc."

Quite possibly!

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"I get irritated by those who are;

A) asking for fabs. Comes across as desperate to me. On the subject, photos with “fab if you would fuck me” on - same thing.

B) “men, urgh, why am I here?” Etc. If you don’t know love, neither do we.

There is a C) but I can’t remember it. Will pop back if it comes to mind!

Yeah I don’t like the thirsty fab me message me updates

Get a grip !

Now kiss me updates

I’m all for

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By *lanor the FairWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Crude, cruel or narcissistic updates annoy me . I prefer humorous ones xx

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Crude, cruel or narcissistic updates annoy me . I prefer humorous ones xx"

Such as ...

(Bare with me on the one ..I felt I had to give you something pretty funny )

If I was a seven and you was a nine ....

I would eight you

made me chuckle anyways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have just seen a great one

“Free today 9.30-11.00, who fancies a bit of car fun with a heavy cummer?”

Gosh yes, what I really want to do is drive into the country to spend an hour in a red hot car with someone I’ve never met before he has to run off back to the wife!"

Why don't I see those around my way? I'd be there at 9:25, no knickers, waiting patiently.

Yeah, right!!!!!!

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Have just seen a great one

“Free today 9.30-11.00, who fancies a bit of car fun with a heavy cummer?”

Gosh yes, what I really want to do is drive into the country to spend an hour in a red hot car with someone I’ve never met before he has to run off back to the wife!

Why don't I see those around my way? I'd be there at 9:25, no knickers, waiting patiently.

Yeah, right!!!!!!

Your box will be flooded in no time

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By *lanor the FairWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Crude, cruel or narcissistic updates annoy me . I prefer humorous ones xx

Such as ...

(Bare with me on the one ..I felt I had to give you something pretty funny )

If I was a seven and you was a nine ....

I would eight you

made me chuckle anyways

Hilarious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have just seen a great one

“Free today 9.30-11.00, who fancies a bit of car fun with a heavy cummer?”

Gosh yes, what I really want to do is drive into the country to spend an hour in a red hot car with someone I’ve never met before he has to run off back to the wife!

Why don't I see those around my way? I'd be there at 9:25, no knickers, waiting patiently.

Yeah, right!!!!!!

Your box will be flooded in no time

Only my box? If flood his car, he be making me so wet with anticipation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have just seen a great one

“Free today 9.30-11.00, who fancies a bit of car fun with a heavy cummer?”

Gosh yes, what I really want to do is drive into the country to spend an hour in a red hot car with someone I’ve never met before he has to run off back to the wife!

Why don't I see those around my way? I'd be there at 9:25, no knickers, waiting patiently.

Yeah, right!!!!!!

Dont forget your scales!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oooo I’ve just seen a profile return ....

First status they upload

“Same ugly mugs here “

This really pissed me off

If they were an oil painting of epic proportion then

But let’s say ... they’re not !

Pipe down and fuck off again

What’s the worst update you’ve seen ?

Or one that annoys you ? "

Must have seen my mug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have just seen a great one

“Free today 9.30-11.00, who fancies a bit of car fun with a heavy cummer?”

Gosh yes, what I really want to do is drive into the country to spend an hour in a red hot car with someone I’ve never met before he has to run off back to the wife!

Why don't I see those around my way? I'd be there at 9:25, no knickers, waiting patiently.

Yeah, right!!!!!!

Dont forget your scales!"

Ah, yes, must pick them up on the way out of the door.

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By *etal MickeyMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

"The one that really gets our goat is ‘ table xxx at weatherspoons’ basically looking for ransoms to buy them drinks all night. Some even put their actual drinks order in the status

Christ really!!!

now we're hitting rock bottom!

Every time Mr Pf sees one of these he sends a plate of mushy peas (69p). It seems to give him a low level of satisfaction. "

I like his style, I will have to remember that

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Crude, cruel or narcissistic updates annoy me . I prefer humorous ones xx

Such as ...

(Bare with me on the one ..I felt I had to give you something pretty funny )

If I was a seven and you was a nine ....

I would eight you

made me chuckle anyways

Hilarious

Pretty funny chap if I do say so myself

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By *ememberTheName OP Man
over a year ago

barnsley

"Have just seen a great one

“Free today 9.30-11.00, who fancies a bit of car fun with a heavy cummer?”

Gosh yes, what I really want to do is drive into the country to spend an hour in a red hot car with someone I’ve never met before he has to run off back to the wife!"

Heavy cummer …. Does this mean he cums liquid lead or gold …?

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