FabSwingers.com forum: Loving yourself

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Off the back of the self confidence thread, what are your tips for loving yourself more?

Mine are to keep small promises to myself, and to celebrate my little victories.

Over to you …

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Treat yourself...if you see something that you want ...go for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to accept when Adrian says I look sexy or people message and say nice things about me. Its hard to believe but I'm getting better

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I love myself every evening

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Setting myself realistic goals. Be that taking a walk or going to an exhibition.

Monitor progress, e.g. I'm trying to loose the weight gained over the last year. I photograph myself once a month to measure progress. So I can't argue with myself that I've made none.

Writing down my strong points and my weaknesses. Nobody is brilliant at everything, sometimes it's hard to remember that.

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Self care

Giving myself time

Not sweating the small stuff, I'm learning slowly

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some brilliant answers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give yourself a break

Remember we all make mistakes

The perfect body doesn't exist

Don't obsess over the things you can't change

Accept compliments, don't question them

There's only one of you, take care of yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Acceptance of who you are and not who you wish you were. Its tough but your never gonna change who you are so live with who you are. X

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"Off the back of the self confidence thread, what are your tips for loving yourself more?

Mine are to keep small promises to myself, and to celebrate my little victories.

Over to you …"

Just be yourself, and try and become the best person you can be. When you start getting messages on here, as a single male, you know you’re doing something right.

That brings in a self confidence.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Treat yourself...if you see something that you want ...go for it

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Accept who and how you are

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Accomplish stuff. Even little things.

You feel better after you have done stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel better when I’m making others around me smile… and I can still do that even if I don’t feel great x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be happy in your own skin and be happy and confident being you because it’s oh so hard to love someone else if you can’t love yourself imho!!!

Tony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try to see yourself how others see you... Ask them what they see!

And when you get a complement, dont brush it off, let it stick!

Appreciate it, try and see it from their pov, and accept it!

Thwre is nothing sexier than non-arogant self confidence, but we seem to knock ourselves down more than we allow others to build us up!

Senpai

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would think about every little thing that makes up who I am on a while and not not pick at individual things

I'm a kind caring person whom had his limits like everyone else

I think about my triumphs as much as my failures

My bad points as much as my good

My mental ability as much as my physical

If we wait for someone to love is in the ways we would like to be loved we will be waiting an eternity

Loving ourselves is easy

Convincing ourselves isn't so

I love myself because of the person I am

People don't tend to like it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Be happy in your own skin and be happy and confident being you because it’s oh so hard to love someone else if you can’t love yourself imho!!!

Tony"

This is so true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're having a tough time, ask yourself what you'd tell a friend in the same position. Then take note of that and follow it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Live in the moment and embrace it!

Don’t be so quick to react or judge others, show compassion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't allow anyone else to put a level on your self love

It's self to you not them

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"I feel better when I’m making others around me smile… and I can still do that even if I don’t feel great x "

Love this, totally agree with it too

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just being true to yourself, dont change things about yourself to suit others

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By *ear in the chairMan
over a year ago

yeah there

Trying to not be as self deprecating (jovially) as a form of defence and believing others when they say they like who and what I am.

Doing this is changing my life for the better

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

I have no tips as I just can’t but I’m here to see if something works for me.

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

"I feel better when I’m making others around me smile… and I can still do that even if I don’t feel great x "

This is definitely me also

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Having spent most of last week with people nearly dying, my loving myself mantra is live every moment!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's where i struggle i punishment myself and am hypercritical due to a real fear of failure if something goes wrong in my life i take the responsibility as the reason to unburden others iv only ever been truly myself and comfortable a small number of times in my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s always very easy to pick faults in yourself , but it’s always important to remember how lucky I am to be healthy and alive

Some people aren’t so lucky

Ever day is a bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop worrying what others think.

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

I try to focus on positive things.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Can I get an amen up in here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I get an amen up in here

You can have an aman .. more than one is greedy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Comfort and speak nicely to yourself as you would to a friend going through a bad time x

Take time for self love / care

Have that time out

Don’t say yes when you want to say no

Slow down when you need to

Relaxing baths

Early nights

Book that pamper treatment

Spend time with positive people who respect you

When you take care of you ! You show up better for others xxxx

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Can I get an amen up in here

You can have an aman .. more than one is greedy

Ooh I say your spoiling me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I get an amen up in here

You can have an aman .. more than one is greedy

Ooh I say your spoiling me x"

That'll be the ambassador with the Ferrero Roche tray

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Can I get an amen up in here

You can have an aman .. more than one is greedy

Ooh I say your spoiling me x

That'll be the ambassador with the Ferrero Roche tray

Is he hot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I get an amen up in here

You can have an aman .. more than one is greedy

Ooh I say your spoiling me x

That'll be the ambassador with the Ferrero Roche tray

Is he hot "

Well he stacks them like that to hide his excitement when you go for the one in the middle...he knows you like chocolate covered balls

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Focus on the bits you really like, accept compliments, make an effort on the days you don't really need to. Do it for you and no one else

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Can I get an amen up in here

You can have an aman .. more than one is greedy

Ooh I say your spoiling me x

That'll be the ambassador with the Ferrero Roche tray

Is he hot

Well he stacks them like that to hide his excitement when you go for the one in the middle...he knows you like chocolate covered balls

Mmmmm x

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Be kind to yourself.

Ignore or challenge negative self talk.

Treat yourself like you'd treat your best friend.

Accept compliments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Understanding yourself, and accepting who you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be kind to yourself.

Ignore or challenge negative self talk.

Treat yourself like you'd treat your best friend.

Accept compliments.

I don't have friends though lol

I have acquaintances

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"Focus on the bits you really like, accept compliments, make an effort on the days you don't really need to. Do it for you and no one else

This! This is how I live my life now, I accept my flaws and focus on the bits I like, any effort I make is for me and noone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's always going to be at least 1_ person either jealous, envious or intimidated by a person's level of self love or self confidence

The idea is to realise that like you they cannot sh it through wood

In that respect we are all equal

Then go from there and fuck what anyone things

Everything's energy

Confidence is energy

Self love is energy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel better when I’m making others around me smile… and I can still do that even if I don’t feel great x

Love this, totally agree with it too

Jo x"

Me as well

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Great thread OP!

Some really good tips that I will be adding to my tool kit.

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love myself every evening

Let me know you need a hand with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Focus all your time and energy on those who reciprocate your kindness and attention. Takers will never stop taking and they'll leave you empty. Givers keep giving.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Focus all your time and energy on those who reciprocate your kindness and attention. Takers will never stop taking and they'll leave you empty. Givers keep giving."

If a person can strip you bare they will

Confidence and self love included

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Great thread OP!

Some really good tips that I will be adding to my tool kit.

Jo.Xx

Yep very good thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel better when I’m making others around me smile… and I can still do that even if I don’t feel great x

Love this, totally agree with it too

Jo x

Me as well "

Thanks I’ve always tried to make someone smile every day. And at times it’s been hard but seeing someone smile because of you always lifts me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have no tips as I just can’t but I’m here to see if something works for me. "

This is why I started the thread, in the hope that we can all take something from it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Great thread OP!

Some really good tips that I will be adding to my tool kit.

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do something good walking it helps you appreciate the outdoors and also doing yourself good, smiling too contagious so chin up smile and beauty starts inside too

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By *olex99Man
over a year ago

Hull

Knowing that I'm essentially a decent guy & that I put others before myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mist keep a promise i made regardless

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I mist keep a promise i made regardless "

you

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Accomplish stuff. Even little things.

You feel better after you have done stuff. "

And then some bigger things when you get moving , you get out of life what you put in

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Easier said than done but just learn to accept that you are not responsible for the burden of expectation on you.

For many women in particular, learning to give zero fucks comes later in life and when it comes, its so liberating. You do what's best for you, on your terms and you become happier and love yourself all the more for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I mist keep a promise i made regardless

you "
honour above all

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By *ischer400777Man
over a year ago

stanley county durham

Never compare yourself to others you are your own person the strongest people walk alone

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Just believe in yourself and not really care what others think. Their opinion has no bearing on you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Setting small and big goals. Rewarding myself accordingly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" Never compare yourself to others you are your own person the strongest people walk alone "

I think it’s stronger to ask for help if you need it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Never compare yourself to others you are your own person the strongest people walk alone

I think it’s stronger to ask for help if you need it "

Often when they do it's too late

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By *ischer400777Man
over a year ago

stanley county durham

There is nothing wrong with asking for help we are all vulnerable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a fucking clue at the minute, bit lost if I'm honest

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not a fucking clue at the minute, bit lost if I'm honest"

Can we help?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" Never compare yourself to others you are your own person the strongest people walk alone

I think it’s stronger to ask for help if you need it

Often when they do it's too late"

A lot of people struggle to ask for help. I learnt last year, it’s ok to ask, and people want to help

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

"Give yourself a break

Remember we all make mistakes

The perfect body doesn't exist

Don't obsess over the things you can't change

Love these.

Accept compliments, don't question them

There's only one of you, take care of yourself

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

"Not a fucking clue at the minute, bit lost if I'm honest"

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By *hilledout-coupleCouple
over a year ago

telford

I male half have always struggled with confidence. Find it hard to fit in. Always have done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I listen to this!

https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI

"Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself"

...now, where's that thread from the other day about songs that well you up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always have something for yourself. It could be anything that you love to do. Me, it would be a gig that no else wanted to go to. Sometimes that alone time, doing something you love, perks you up when your down.

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By *ondon-guy68Man
over a year ago

London

I like to just get away from it all, even for just a short while. I’ll go sit in a park or just simply take a long walk with either music or a book and just get lost in my own company for awhile. Always clears my head and makes me feel better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Never compare yourself to others you are your own person the strongest people walk alone

I think it’s stronger to ask for help if you need it

Often when they do it's too late

A lot of people struggle to ask for help. I learnt last year, it’s ok to ask, and people want to help"

I know x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" Never compare yourself to others you are your own person the strongest people walk alone

I think it’s stronger to ask for help if you need it

Often when they do it's too late

A lot of people struggle to ask for help. I learnt last year, it’s ok to ask, and people want to help

I know x"

So many people find it hard though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Never compare yourself to others you are your own person the strongest people walk alone

I think it’s stronger to ask for help if you need it

Often when they do it's too late

A lot of people struggle to ask for help. I learnt last year, it’s ok to ask, and people want to help

I know x

So many people find it hard though"

Never easy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In recent years I’ve simple learnt to accept compliments instead of trying to convince the people complimenting me that they are somehow mistaken.

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By *hilledout-coupleCouple
over a year ago

telford

"In recent years I’ve simple learnt to accept compliments instead of trying to convince the people complimenting me that they are somehow mistaken.

He never accepts compliments and thinks exactly the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not a fucking clue at the minute, bit lost if I'm honest

Can we help?"

I know why I don't just dont know how to change it or if i can

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Not a fucking clue at the minute, bit lost if I'm honest

Can we help?

I know why I don't just dont know how to change it or if i can"

Some kind of compass helps a little, figuratively.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"In recent years I’ve simple learnt to accept compliments instead of trying to convince the people complimenting me that they are somehow mistaken.

He never accepts compliments and thinks exactly the same "

A good suggestion I read recently is if you find compliments hard to accept then try replying with "I don't see myself that way but thank you".

Job done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Live in the moment x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In recent years I’ve simple learnt to accept compliments instead of trying to convince the people complimenting me that they are somehow mistaken.

"
Good for you, it's a great outlook. So many of us should take a leaf out of your book

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not a fucking clue at the minute, bit lost if I'm honest

Can we help?

I know why I don't just dont know how to change it or if i can"

Just know that there is a lot of support here for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Live in the moment x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eat chocolate whenever I want it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Eat chocolate whenever I want it."

Chocolate heals all ills!

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"Eat chocolate whenever I want it.

Chocolate heals all ills!"

Except diabetes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Eat chocolate whenever I want it.

Chocolate heals all ills!

Except diabetes! "

And diabetic chocolate tastes rank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you masturbate, take the time to make love to yourself. Don't just give yourself a quickie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try and be as kind to myself as I am to others.

I’m not always good at that, but I’m trying to live by that. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just have to stay in the fight if im gonna win my war

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By *estcountryDadBodMan
over a year ago

Exeter

I think it’s more acceptance about myself

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By *rishCouple2kCouple
over a year ago

Berkshire

We are pretty shy people. But have recently become a little braver. We've even posted out first video today. Haha.

We have kind-of just realised we are what we are and we're happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not a fucking clue at the minute, bit lost if I'm honest

Can we help?

I know why I don't just dont know how to change it or if i can

Just know that there is a lot of support here for you

I know, from friends and forum folk

I'm trying to accept the new me but failing miserably

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"If you're having a tough time, ask yourself what you'd tell a friend in the same position. Then take note of that and follow it.

I try to speak to myself as kindly as I speak to my friends, and to treat myself with as much love as I treat my friends.

I don't always succeed, but the practice has made a big difference for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not a fucking clue at the minute, bit lost if I'm honest

Can we help?

I know why I don't just dont know how to change it or if i can

Just know that there is a lot of support here for you

I know, from friends and forum folk

I'm trying to accept the new me but failing miserably"

Sending hugs, its hard x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not a fucking clue at the minute, bit lost if I'm honest

Can we help?

I know why I don't just dont know how to change it or if i can

Just know that there is a lot of support here for you

I know, from friends and forum folk

I'm trying to accept the new me but failing miserably"

Be gentle with yourself

. I’m a good listener if you need to talk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep a gratitude journal. It only takes a couple of minutes to write down three things in grateful each day but living in gratitude helps to feel more positive about everything.

And I practise yoga. It's just so kind to your body. I love it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I keep a gratitude journal. It only takes a couple of minutes to write down three things in grateful each day but living in gratitude helps to feel more positive about everything.

And I practise yoga. It's just so kind to your body. I love it. "

Two brilliant suggestions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And spending time in nature. There's a saying that says you should spend twenty minutes in nature every day, unless you're too busy, then your should spend an hour.

It lifts my mood being in nature and I always just feel grateful to be part of the world.

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

"Not a fucking clue at the minute, bit lost if I'm honest

Can we help?

I know why I don't just dont know how to change it or if i can

Just know that there is a lot of support here for you

I know, from friends and forum folk

I'm trying to accept the new me but failing miserably"

I did a self Compassion course which radically changed my perspective on the idea of accepting oneself. Rather than trying to accept the new you.. Could you send some love or at least firstly merely acknowledge the part of you that is struggling and feels like failure. This is the only thing you need to do. Teeny steps. Patience and softness to human you who is suffering a bit right now xxx

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By *ikerdude2017Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

I don't love myself and I want someone to love me. So screwed really

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By *3nsesMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Set a goal for myself and then set a reward if I achieve that goal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not very good at loving myself. I’m my own worst critic, I try hard to look at the positive things about me but so easily pick faults. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've literally got nothing positive to add to this. You do either like and accept yourself with any and all imperfections or you hate yourself over all of them.

Accept. If there's anything I have worth saying it's that. Accept who you are and don't see it as a competition with people you might think are "better". You're you and that's all you are. You might be shit compared to others but you might be just right for someone.

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