FabSwingers.com forum: Things your mum use to say

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Its pardon not what

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Stop mithering

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get up that wooden hill ya little bastard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get off the Internet, I need to use the phone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Dardynells'

I used to jump over fences and all sorts...

'dont slip you'll hurt ur dardynells'

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

It’s like Blackpool illuminations in here. (That one was more my dad)

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

No puddings unless you eat your dinner

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Don’t sit too close to the telly you’ll get square eyes.

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"It’s like Blackpool illuminations in here. (That one was more my dad) "
thats an old favourite

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Who's she? The cats mother?!

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Put wood in th’ole

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Who's she? The cats mother?!"
Classic

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

I've told you a thousand times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s like Blackpool illuminations in here. (That one was more my dad) "

That's a favourite in this house. In fact I think the OP would be better off asking us what we say to the kids. Her ladyship has a plethora of choice sayings, made up words and film quotes to suit every occasion.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'm sure you were swapped at birth

You were born awkward and have been awkward ever since

Oi cloth ears, damn well listen when you're being spoken to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I'm sure you were swapped at birth

You were born awkward and have been awkward ever since

Oi cloth ears, damn well listen when you're being spoken to

Cloth ears

. I got that too

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

If you have to breathe, go do it somewhere else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where you born in a barn?

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

Jesus, Mary and Joseph

You don’t know how lucky you are

You aren’t going out in that

Put some sudocream in it

Right bye,bye, bye, bye, bye, bye

I’m at the end of my tether with you

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Don’t screw your face up, if the wind changes it will stay like that

Don’t answer me back (despite asking a question)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What died long ago, manners took its place. I was about 25 before I realised she hadn't been asking me a question

Me: what's for dinner?

Mum: bread and pullit

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

Eat your crusts they’ll make your hair curly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your getting too big for your boots you young lady!!

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By *admexiconMan
over a year ago

swansea

allways throw ur old toys away lol x

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Put wood in th’ole"

That's my mum it's weird because we are in Southampton but my nan was from Durham so it filtered down the generations!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're just like your dad, the useless prick.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

If you don’t start behaving Father Christmas will leave you coal and potato peelings.

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Stop mizzling

If you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry about

Were you born in a barn? As a cocky teenager I would reply "you should know"

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

I bought you into this world and I can just as easily take you out of it! She had a funny way with discipline.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I bought you into this world and I can just as easily take you out of it! She had a funny way with discipline."

Oooo, I had that one too.

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By *he Knight is YoungMan
over a year ago

22 Acacia Ave, Preston-for now

Take your time and hurry up.

If the wind changes you'll stay like that.

Up the apple and pairs.

And the classic count...

If she got to 1,you were a gonna

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"Put wood in th’ole"

My dad used to say that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a great poem called "Things my mam used to say"

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Be nice to your brother

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Roll your eyes at me again, go on, I dare ya. You'll be picking them up off the floor.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Don’t come running to me when you break your legs

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

No comment as I find myself saying the same now

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I’ll wipe that smirk of your face in a minute

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By *ovespudsMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"I'll knife you, ya little bugger".

She never did of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A little of what you fancy does you good

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Don’t go in the woods cause the galosher man will get you

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'll knock ya into next week

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

You’ll be sniffing carpet in a minute

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

You're never too big for a slap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s like Blackpool illuminations in here

Who's "she" the cats mother?

Her x

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Don’t play near the brook cause Ginny Green Teeth will snatch you

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Do as I say, not as I do

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By *ustfortheforumsWoman
over a year ago

Who’s she the cats mother

My favourite one, what’s for dinner??

Pigs head and puppies tail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little me: what's for dinner?

Harassed mum: shit and sugar!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mind your beeswax!

Just because he/she put their head in the gas oven doesn't mean you should too.

Don't come crying to me when you fall and break your neck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could grow potatoes in those ears

Don’t forget to press record on the video for coronation street and then change sides for Eastenders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I asked what’s for tea when I was a kid my mam would say shit with sugar on top

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

If someone asked you to jump of a cliff would you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait til your dad gets home!

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

"I bought you into this world and I can just as easily take you out of it! She had a funny way with discipline.

Oooo, I had that one too."

I actually thought she was serious and capable, it's a miracle I made it to adulthood tbh.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I bought you into this world and I can just as easily take you out of it! She had a funny way with discipline.

Oooo, I had that one too.

I actually thought she was serious and capable, it's a miracle I made it to adulthood tbh."

I expected to die at her hands to be truthful.

Funnily enough I've ended up in abusive relationships since then. Mental and physical.

That's why I ain't bothering anymore. There's clearly deeper residual stuff that I haven't managed to work through or get my head around. I know my fuck you filter doesn't work very well when it comes to people I care about, so safer to just not anyone close enough to allow myself to care for them in any capacity other than "human"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop.crying or I'll give you something to cry about

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By *ouis CyphreMan
over a year ago

The Midlands

Get down from there. If you fall and brake both your legs. Dont come running to me.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Blue arsed fly: for rushing around

and more often than not "a son of a bitch", her words not mine.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"If someone asked you to jump of a cliff would you

and so the sport of BASE jumping was born.

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By *onkyLemonsCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

“Put wood in hole”

“Do you live in a barn”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xJDd59dZJl0

There you go.

JB doing his poem

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By *ulluSukaWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Me: what's for dinner?

Mum: shit with sugar

Me: I'm bored

Mum: go play on the motorway.

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

"Look with your eyes, not your hands" and "I brought you into this world - I can take you out of it, too".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Me: what's for dinner?

Mum: shit with sugar

Me: I'm bored

Mum: go play on the motorway."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just getting a pack of cigs

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

“Stop jumping on my furniture!”

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

“Never kick a gift horse in the mouth”

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

“Don’t throw stones at greenhouses”

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

What did your last servant die of

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

So what if your friend said so, if they told you to jump in a river, would you?

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By *randMrsDare2BeCouple
over a year ago

Near Northallerton

Three of her favourites:

Put a sock in it.

Go and take a run and a jump (I then acted this out in front of her and got a clip round the head).

We'll see (the response to “can I have”.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Don't cross your eyes, if the wind blows they'll stay like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like your mum for the conversation.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Don't swallow that chewing gum, it will wrap around your heart (Lies...all Lies!!)

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

Your Nanna has just rang... nip to the shop and fetch her 10 Berkley red and a pack of Polo's... the note any money is on the table

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

"Put wood in th’ole

That's my mum it's weird because we are in Southampton but my nan was from Durham so it filtered down the generations!"

What dose it mean? Southaner here.

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By *reat me rightWoman
over a year ago

Rotherham

No such word as cant!!! And she now uses it on my daughter!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your real mum and dad called, they want you back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The more you want, the less you get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your real mum and dad called, they want you back "

Lol My two eldest brothers convinced our younger brother that he was an alien visiting earth

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By *oubletroubleCouple
over a year ago

South West

"Get us 20 fags from the shop"....I was eight....what's worse they served me...

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Do you think that I'm made of money?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/07/21 20:18:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who did you say you are?

Wash yer hands

Don't speak unless you're spoken to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hold yeah bloody horses!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be good and if you can’t be good then don’t get caught.

The exact words are now said to my daughter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Me: what's for dinner?

Mum: shit with sugar

Me: I'm bored

Mum: go play on the motorway."

The top one was something my mum always said

Although to I’m bored I always got told to go tidy my room then

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Me: what's for dinner?

Mum: shit with sugar

Me: I'm bored

Mum: go play on the motorway."

Are we siblings?

Motorway of choice was the M6, even though the M62 was nearer as was the m57, depending on which of the dozen odd houses we lived in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put wood in th’ole

That's my mum it's weird because we are in Southampton but my nan was from Durham so it filtered down the generations!

What dose it mean? Southaner here. "

Close the door !

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By *ayjay218Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

If I was eating shite and sugar would you want that too?

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"What did your last servant die of"

"Ignorance! So I whipped him to death. Damned insubordinate"

Master Bertie Wooster Esq, aged 13 3/4.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put wood in th’ole"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'It'll all come out in the wash'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry it all comes out in the wash

What's for tea? - Shit with sugar on

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I'll bang your heads together (me and my brother)

Watch what you're doing (every time we left the house - even now)

There'll be blood for supper

I want doesn't get

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

She'd say when I wanted something, "it's not can I have, instead, may I have? That means I may allow you to have the item!"

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

My house (dad was there) my rules. This due to girlfriend who I was living with at time. Spending weekend at my parents house.

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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago

somewhere, someplace

You'll only do that the once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't worry it all comes out in the wash

What's for tea? - Shit with sugar on"

You got in before me. This is my all time favorite. Haha bless her.

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

"Stop your crying, or I'll give you something to cry about!" was a favourite of my Mum's.

Or one my Mum, and her 2 sisters all inherited from their Mother.

When any of us kids were acting the fool and exasperated Mum, she'd get to the point of trying to quieten us down with... "Do you want a slap?"

Eh, what did she expect me to say? "Oh, Yes please! I like pain!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After any fall or cut or bruise, "it's wants some TCP on that". *Screams of pain*

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

"My house (dad was there) my rules. This due to girlfriend who I was living with at time. Spending weekend at my parents house.

I forgot to add this was about sharing bedroom . I was 28 then .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After any fall or cut or bruise, "it's wants some TCP on that". *Screams of pain*"

Magic cream my Dad used to call it! Yeah the only magic thing about that shit was it's ability to burn through your fucking legs in 10 seconds flat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After any fall or cut or bruise, "it's wants some TCP on that". *Screams of pain*

Magic cream my Dad used to call it! Yeah the only magic thing about that shit was it's ability to burn through your fucking legs in 10 seconds flat

Haha. Magic cream! Oh god I can remember the smell.

Believe or not my dad used to gargle the stuff if he had a sire throat. Haha, different times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stop fisting yourself you weirdo"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Stop fisting yourself you weirdo""
haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After any fall or cut or bruise, "it's wants some TCP on that". *Screams of pain*

Magic cream my Dad used to call it! Yeah the only magic thing about that shit was it's ability to burn through your fucking legs in 10 seconds flat

Haha. Magic cream! Oh god I can remember the smell.

Believe or not my dad used to gargle the stuff if he had a sire throat. Haha, different times."

Mine used to do that too!

And I remember that milk of magnesia stuff Dad used to make me take shots of if I felt a bit sick. A small bottle was never ending!! You'd glug it, and they'd still be more in the bottle!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After any fall or cut or bruise, "it's wants some TCP on that". *Screams of pain*

Magic cream my Dad used to call it! Yeah the only magic thing about that shit was it's ability to burn through your fucking legs in 10 seconds flat

Haha. Magic cream! Oh god I can remember the smell.

Believe or not my dad used to gargle the stuff if he had a sire throat. Haha, different times.

Mine used to do that too!

And I remember that milk of magnesia stuff Dad used to make me take shots of if I felt a bit sick. A small bottle was never ending!! You'd glug it, and they'd still be more in the bottle! "

So funny. That's 80's first aid for you. Good memories though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After any fall or cut or bruise, "it's wants some TCP on that". *Screams of pain*

Magic cream my Dad used to call it! Yeah the only magic thing about that shit was it's ability to burn through your fucking legs in 10 seconds flat

Haha. Magic cream! Oh god I can remember the smell.

Believe or not my dad used to gargle the stuff if he had a sire throat. Haha, different times.

Mine used to do that too!

And I remember that milk of magnesia stuff Dad used to make me take shots of if I felt a bit sick. A small bottle was never ending!! You'd glug it, and they'd still be more in the bottle!

So funny. That's 80's first aid for you. Good memories though."

And every home had a Tin of Andrews salts

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By *ougie321Man
over a year ago

Milford Haven

Sit up straight at the table, don’t put your elbows down, why are you not eating your food

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By *errocaWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

"Going to see a man about a dog" ...

She never came home with one.

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

After giving me a slap on the head 'that's for nothing, just wait until you do something '

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Were you born in a barn

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By *uffymayfairCouple
over a year ago

vera playa, Almeria

Don't do that, it will hurt. Usually before the garden cane twatted me

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

"After any fall or cut or bruise, "it's wants some TCP on that". *Screams of pain*"
..you're lucky, for us it was iodine, you went around for days looking like you had sh.t on your legs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pick your feet up... I don't even know how I walked like that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually dr*nk, obscenities and insults. Not a nice woman.

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Manners cost nothing & it makes the world a better place!

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By *hocCock1Man
over a year ago

Southampton

"Lie down with dogs you'll wake up with fleas"

It's my mantra on here

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Wait till your dad gets home..

You’ll be laughing on the other side of your face in a minute.

If the wind changes your face will stay like that.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Love you so very much.

Bless you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"mum this tea is too hot" followed by "you'd be hot if you'd been in the bleeding oven!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love you.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

My Nan's saying were.

Jesus Christ give me strength, usually after me doing something bad.

You, would make a saint swear. Not sure why I was proud of that one.

My Mum's sayings were

Here's your hat, where's your hurry.

I will give you something, to cry about in a minute.

This is your block of marzipan, leave this one alone. I used to eat the marzipan, that should have gone on the christmas cake.

He's got eyes, bigger than his belly.

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