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This is not for me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair? "

Sign up to Ashley

M marital affairs dot something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear it’s not for you, good luck in all your future endeavours X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

an affair is not swinging its pretty simple

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Some women like a married man but it seems the majority do not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use the place how you like OP but don't expect some folk to like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair? "

You may find it on here. A lot of people are married.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some women like a married man but it seems the majority do not. "

but even meeting a married man to swing is not an affair ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair? "

Who knows what people are looking for in this Jungle...all types roam through it...

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Oh dear...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's quite simple, the majority of swingers here, don't get a joy out of potentially destroying a marriage... Even do, there are few that are looking for that...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/07/21 23:32:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some women like a married man but it seems the majority do not.

but even meeting a married man to swing is not an affair ? "

I suppose it's a fantasy as well...

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

[Removed by poster at 07/07/21 23:35:40]

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Not sure it the wife or being married stopping you meeting ..

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Everyone can look for whatever they want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This site is fab.

It is whatever you want it to be

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair? "

Correct.

Do you not know the difference between swinging and cheating?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

You can look. Whether you'll find it or not is a different matter.

Ask yourself why would someone want to enter into a relationship with a cheat and a liar, unless of course your wife knows all about it in which case it wouldn't be an affair. It's hardly a good starting place.

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

I don't think it is the right place to look for an affair OP. If that's your aim then perhaps state it on your profile so single women can decide if they want to get involved with you .That's not to say it does not happen because relationships have been created from people meeting on swinger sites but its generally considered undesirable if an affair results with all the hurt for the unfortunate partner when she (It normally is a woman) finds out as they always will.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair? "

This is a site for swingers, you're not unwelcome here but alot of people (me included) will not be interested and also not approve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t worry about OP, this place isn’t for half the people on here but it doesn’t stop them trying!

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By *hatty GuyMan
over a year ago

The Borough of St Peter

I'm married and on here and she doesn't know. Met up with a few women too, but not for affairs, just opportunist momements. Depends what your expectations are. Some ppl are cool, some ppl are judgemental af, just brush that shit off and carry on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"an affair is not swinging its pretty simple"

It's not rocket science is it really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm married and on here and she doesn't know. Met up with a few women too, but not for affairs, just opportunist momements. Depends what your expectations are. Some ppl are cool, some ppl are judgemental af, just brush that shit off and carry on."

Would you think your Mrs would be judgemental ?

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By *hatty GuyMan
over a year ago

The Borough of St Peter


"I'm married and on here and she doesn't know. Met up with a few women too, but not for affairs, just opportunist momements. Depends what your expectations are. Some ppl are cool, some ppl are judgemental af, just brush that shit off and carry on.

Would you think your Mrs would be judgemental ?"

Umm, yeh. So I probably won't be telling her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm married and on here and she doesn't know. Met up with a few women too, but not for affairs, just opportunist momements. Depends what your expectations are. Some ppl are cool, some ppl are judgemental af, just brush that shit off and carry on.

Would you think your Mrs would be judgemental ?

Umm, yeh. So I probably won't be telling her."

Guessing your unhappy there ?

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By *hatty GuyMan
over a year ago

The Borough of St Peter


"I'm married and on here and she doesn't know. Met up with a few women too, but not for affairs, just opportunist momements. Depends what your expectations are. Some ppl are cool, some ppl are judgemental af, just brush that shit off and carry on.

Would you think your Mrs would be judgemental ?

Umm, yeh. So I probably won't be telling her.

Guessing your unhappy there ?"

Honestly? Not completely unhappy no. But this place has offered me the opportunity to have my cake and eat it so I'm taking that opportunity while I can. I like cake.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"I'm married and on here and she doesn't know. Met up with a few women too, but not for affairs, just opportunist momements. Depends what your expectations are. Some ppl are cool, some ppl are judgemental af, just brush that shit off and carry on.

Would you think your Mrs would be judgemental ?

Umm, yeh. So I probably won't be telling her.

Guessing your unhappy there ?

Honestly? Not completely unhappy no. But this place has offered me the opportunity to have my cake and eat it so I'm taking that opportunity while I can. I like cake. "

Let's hope she doesn't find out and have a complete mental breakdown and end up mentally disabled like my mother did after my dad cheated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm married and on here and she doesn't know. Met up with a few women too, but not for affairs, just opportunist momements. Depends what your expectations are. Some ppl are cool, some ppl are judgemental af, just brush that shit off and carry on.

Would you think your Mrs would be judgemental ?

Umm, yeh. So I probably won't be telling her.

Guessing your unhappy there ?

Honestly? Not completely unhappy no. But this place has offered me the opportunity to have my cake and eat it so I'm taking that opportunity while I can. I like cake. "

Why not just leave and respect her?

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington


"Some women like a married man but it seems the majority do not.

but even meeting a married man to swing is not an affair ? "

It's not when I do it. My wife gets updates on who and what I'm doing

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By *hatty GuyMan
over a year ago

The Borough of St Peter


"I'm married and on here and she doesn't know. Met up with a few women too, but not for affairs, just opportunist momements. Depends what your expectations are. Some ppl are cool, some ppl are judgemental af, just brush that shit off and carry on.

Would you think your Mrs would be judgemental ?

Umm, yeh. So I probably won't be telling her.

Guessing your unhappy there ?

Honestly? Not completely unhappy no. But this place has offered me the opportunity to have my cake and eat it so I'm taking that opportunity while I can. I like cake.

Why not just leave and respect her?"

Cos I don't want to leave her

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By *il sub princessWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

There's many married men on here without their wife's knowledge, just as there's many married women in same situation.

This is a great site to be yourself. All I'd advise is to be honest. Lots of women find married men a turn on.

If you can't be good, be careful

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By *egsterMan
over a year ago

Bristol

It's a moot point when one never gets a reply to messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm married and on here and she doesn't know. Met up with a few women too, but not for affairs, just opportunist momements. Depends what your expectations are. Some ppl are cool, some ppl are judgemental af, just brush that shit off and carry on.

Would you think your Mrs would be judgemental ?

Umm, yeh. So I probably won't be telling her.

Guessing your unhappy there ?

Honestly? Not completely unhappy no. But this place has offered me the opportunity to have my cake and eat it so I'm taking that opportunity while I can. I like cake.

Let's hope she doesn't find out and have a complete mental breakdown and end up mentally disabled like my mother did after my dad cheated.

"

Im sorry to hear that...honestly..have always said its the potential devastating fallout from such things that can happen or what other devastation comes about from cheating, no one evers knows how cheating could affect people/ victims minds or how they'd react to it...to me a ride is never worth the potential risk of devastation to a persons life...especially their mental wellbeing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op can I ask a question

How would you feel if your wife was on a site and Geting pumped off everyone

When I ask this question the normal reponce I get is they wouldn’t bl bl bl she be out on her ear and all this

So if that is your answer then why are you here

If it’s not the answer and you say you would be ok with it and such

I am going to ask why haven’t you got a couple profiles then

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By *layseperateortogetherCouple
over a year ago

northwest Ohio

Here's what happened to us... The wife's second meet was with a guy who was married. We didn't know he was until his wife got a hold of his phone and seen we had been messaging and then had a meet set up. The wife messaged us that he was married and my wife felt horrible because he was doing it behind her back. Our fun with swinging is that it's something we share with each other and we don't want to be a party to possibly bring the cause of a breakup.

Since that time she's turned down many meets because the man had a wife, girlfriend or what have you that didn't know what he was doing.

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"I'm married and on here and she doesn't know. Met up with a few women too, but not for affairs, just opportunist momements. Depends what your expectations are. Some ppl are cool, some ppl are judgemental af, just brush that shit off and carry on.

Would you think your Mrs would be judgemental ?

Umm, yeh. So I probably won't be telling her.

Guessing your unhappy there ?

Honestly? Not completely unhappy no. But this place has offered me the opportunity to have my cake and eat it so I'm taking that opportunity while I can. I like cake.

Why not just leave and respect her?

Cos I don't want to leave her"

And what about her choice in the matter??

Doesn't she deserve to choose whether your cheating behaviour is acceptable to her not??

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If you're completely honest with all those involved, why would it be an issue? Not everyone and their expectations, are as in demand as others.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

You can have an affair with someone you meet here but this is a swingers site and unless you advertise yourself as married but cheating then you are not really being honest with the women you meet or your wife and children or yourself really .....

But yes.... you can have an affair with someone you meet from here if your morals allow it.

Why not try an affair site...... at least the women there KNOW what you are doing. Bare in mind that they are doing it too

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)


"an affair is not swinging its pretty simple"

If you went to a swingers club and met 5 people and had sex with them in front of everybody else, I think that would be swinging. If you subsequently went home to your unknowing partner, would it then become unswinging?

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By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair? "

Well having an affair isn’t swinging its cheating, there is however people on her in the same boat as you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"an affair is not swinging its pretty simple

If you went to a swingers club and met 5 people and had sex with them in front of everybody else, I think that would be swinging. If you subsequently went home to your unknowing partner, would it then become unswinging? "

That would be fucking. The swinging part is the honesty, openness, discussion, mutual enjoyment and agreement.

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Everyone knows this is a sex site so anything vaguely sex related, goes!

The women are all up for it and shouldn't have any standards or make moral judgements about who they wish to play with. It's a sex site, remember

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By *ottoncandy42Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Fab is whatever you want to make of it, many more on here looking for relationships and on the basis lots are married, I’m sure you may find what your after.

Personally, I would never put myself in a situation where I’m someone’s dirty little secret.

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"an affair is not swinging its pretty simple

If you went to a swingers club and met 5 people and had sex with them in front of everybody else, I think that would be swinging. If you subsequently went home to your unknowing partner, would it then become unswinging? "

If you had an unknowing partner at home, then the fact is that you would be cheating when you had sex with 5 people in the swinging club.

We think it is simple really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair? "

Also relates to married women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can never understand if these posts are attention seeking or real. Bizarre how people announce their affairs to the world

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)


"If you had an unknowing partner at home, then the fact is that you would be cheating when you had sex with 5 people in the swinging club.

We think it is simple really.

"

Oh absolutely it's cheating! I was trying to show that it's also swinging. Sorry if I wasn't clear.

Gbat

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"If you had an unknowing partner at home, then the fact is that you would be cheating when you had sex with 5 people in the swinging club.

We think it is simple really.

Oh absolutely it's cheating! I was trying to show that it's also swinging. Sorry if I wasn't clear.

Gbat "

How is it swinging? It is cheating sex.

Swinging is not just about the physical sex is it??

Although a lot of single guys seem to think that is all it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair? "

Stick around, even if it's just for making friends and if anybody judges you just use that feature called Block

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"I'm married and on here and she doesn't know. Met up with a few women too, but not for affairs, just opportunist momements. Depends what your expectations are. Some ppl are cool, some ppl are judgemental af, just brush that shit off and carry on.

Would you think your Mrs would be judgemental ?

Umm, yeh. So I probably won't be telling her.

Guessing your unhappy there ?

Honestly? Not completely unhappy no. But this place has offered me the opportunity to have my cake and eat it so I'm taking that opportunity while I can. I like cake.

Let's hope she doesn't find out and have a complete mental breakdown and end up mentally disabled like my mother did after my dad cheated.

Im sorry to hear that...honestly..have always said its the potential devastating fallout from such things that can happen or what other devastation comes about from cheating, no one evers knows how cheating could affect people/ victims minds or how they'd react to it...to me a ride is never worth the potential risk of devastation to a persons life...especially their mental wellbeing."

That's why I hate cheating, my mother went from a fully capable adult with a great job, alot of responsibility, to being unable to work or live alone, she lives with me now.

There is no justification for it, ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a little fed up with the hypocrisy of some people

This is a swinging site... that in itself is frowned upon by the majority of people

But we all have different view points

We are all on here for our own reasons

Don’t judge others

Just go into the sweet shop and taste which you like

If you find some sweets not to your taste just accept that and eat lick or handle those that you do

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair? "

Quite a few married men have looked for and found affairs on here. There are women happy to have affairs both married and single.

If you keep quiet about it like a lot of people do (even some very popular contributors to the forum) and just mention it in your profile you might be successful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some would say there is no right place to look for an affair, others won't care that your married one bit.... Differant strokes for different folks

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"I get a little fed up with the hypocrisy of some people

This is a swinging site... that in itself is frowned upon by the majority of people

But we all have different view points

We are all on here for our own reasons

Don’t judge others

Just go into the sweet shop and taste which you like

If you find some sweets not to your taste just accept that and eat lick or handle those that you do"

No. Not when cheaters knowingly drag you into their duplicitous bullshit.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I wouldn’t leave op. I’ve met married men. Some will some won’t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why wouldn't this be the place for you?

If you're looking for sex and to partake in the swinging lifestyle then it's perfect. As long as you're honest with those you meet that you're cheating then it won't be an issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get a little fed up with the hypocrisy of some people

This is a swinging site... that in itself is frowned upon by the majority of people

But we all have different view points

We are all on here for our own reasons

Don’t judge others

Just go into the sweet shop and taste which you like

If you find some sweets not to your taste just accept that and eat lick or handle those that you do"

I guess asking an open question in such a varied forum will always provide divisive answers. Lots of people, us included, have no time for cheaters and liars. I don't think that cheaters are excluded from swinging, it's just that originally swinging was about hedonism, openness, sexual liberation and sharing. Cheating is a sort of polar opposite to that.

As long as everyone involved has all the information to make their own mind up, people will 'adult' appropriately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is a slightly more complex question.

Depends what the OPs marital situation is actually like and what they are after.

If they're looking to form a new relationship and are cheating to find a new partner before booting the old one then that does seem pretty low.

Then think about situations where someone is in a relationship where they are happy generally but one of them has no interest in sex anymore... but the other one does. Sure, in an ideal world you'd be able to tell your partner how you feel. I.e. "i love you and want to stay with you but i do need sex, do you mind if i get it elsewhere?" But thats not an easy conversation to have.

People all have their own lines they won't cross on this site and some people will judge others. You never quite known what someones personal circumstances are though.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Monogamous folks often conflate swinging with cheating. That’s because they look similar but aren’t.

Think of it like asking your parents to borrow £100 and taking £100 without them agreeing.

They both look the same but the latter will get you in a boat load of shit. It’s the same for swinging vs cheating

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think this is a slightly more complex question.

Depends what the OPs marital situation is actually like and what they are after.

If they're looking to form a new relationship and are cheating to find a new partner before booting the old one then that does seem pretty low.

Then think about situations where someone is in a relationship where they are happy generally but one of them has no interest in sex anymore... but the other one does. Sure, in an ideal world you'd be able to tell your partner how you feel. I.e. "i love you and want to stay with you but i do need sex, do you mind if i get it elsewhere?" But thats not an easy conversation to have.

People all have their own lines they won't cross on this site and some people will judge others. You never quite known what someones personal circumstances are though. "

You don't know other people's circumstances or what goes on in their relationship, I agree. All you can do is act in the best interests of your own relationship.

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By *abasaurus RexMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Yeah ‘course it is. TONS of married folk on here, then there’s the other tons of folk who just don’t admit it!

Just remember that not everyone’s interested in being part of that, and the odds as a man are slim here as it is. Throw in the extra limiting factor of being married, and that’s probably the difficulty in finding play mates.

Why not ask the misses if she wants to join too?

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"I get a little fed up with the hypocrisy of some people

This is a swinging site... that in itself is frowned upon by the majority of people

But we all have different view points

We are all on here for our own reasons

Don’t judge others

Just go into the sweet shop and taste which you like

If you find some sweets not to your taste just accept that and eat lick or handle those that you do"

Some people go in the same sweet shop and take the sweets without asking or paying for them.

Very similar to what cheats do, in other words behave dishonestly.

You wouldn't be cheating would you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think this is a slightly more complex question.

Depends what the OPs marital situation is actually like and what they are after.

If they're looking to form a new relationship and are cheating to find a new partner before booting the old one then that does seem pretty low.

Then think about situations where someone is in a relationship where they are happy generally but one of them has no interest in sex anymore... but the other one does. Sure, in an ideal world you'd be able to tell your partner how you feel. I.e. "i love you and want to stay with you but i do need sex, do you mind if i get it elsewhere?" But thats not an easy conversation to have.

People all have their own lines they won't cross on this site and some people will judge others. You never quite known what someones personal circumstances are though.

You don't know other people's circumstances or what goes on in their relationship, I agree. All you can do is act in the best interests of your own relationship. "

Yeah. The reason i wrote an unusually long post for me is cos its very hard to judge someones intent.

On the one hand you could have a person who just wants a bit more on the side.

On the other you could have a person whos tried to stay monogamous in a sexless relationship for years and just needs occasional sex for their sanity's sake. Even in this situation i agree that it would likely be very hurtful to the person getting cheated on if they found out...

But then the other side of that is that the other partner may well have been feeling rejected and/or ashamed for years.

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"I think this is a slightly more complex question.

Depends what the OPs marital situation is actually like and what they are after.

If they're looking to form a new relationship and are cheating to find a new partner before booting the old one then that does seem pretty low.

Then think about situations where someone is in a relationship where they are happy generally but one of them has no interest in sex anymore... but the other one does. Sure, in an ideal world you'd be able to tell your partner how you feel. I.e. "i love you and want to stay with you but i do need sex, do you mind if i get it elsewhere?" But thats not an easy conversation to have.

People all have their own lines they won't cross on this site and some people will judge others. You never quite known what someones personal circumstances are though.

You don't know other people's circumstances or what goes on in their relationship, I agree. All you can do is act in the best interests of your own relationship.

Yeah. The reason i wrote an unusually long post for me is cos its very hard to judge someones intent.

On the one hand you could have a person who just wants a bit more on the side.

On the other you could have a person whos tried to stay monogamous in a sexless relationship for years and just needs occasional sex for their sanity's sake. Even in this situation i agree that it would likely be very hurtful to the person getting cheated on if they found out...

But then the other side of that is that the other partner may well have been feeling rejected and/or ashamed for years."

Honesty between both partners then allows BOTH to make a decision based on all the facts.

Anything else is disrespectful and dishonest in most cases.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think this is a slightly more complex question.

Depends what the OPs marital situation is actually like and what they are after.

If they're looking to form a new relationship and are cheating to find a new partner before booting the old one then that does seem pretty low.

Then think about situations where someone is in a relationship where they are happy generally but one of them has no interest in sex anymore... but the other one does. Sure, in an ideal world you'd be able to tell your partner how you feel. I.e. "i love you and want to stay with you but i do need sex, do you mind if i get it elsewhere?" But thats not an easy conversation to have.

People all have their own lines they won't cross on this site and some people will judge others. You never quite known what someones personal circumstances are though.

You don't know other people's circumstances or what goes on in their relationship, I agree. All you can do is act in the best interests of your own relationship.

Yeah. The reason i wrote an unusually long post for me is cos its very hard to judge someones intent.

On the one hand you could have a person who just wants a bit more on the side.

On the other you could have a person whos tried to stay monogamous in a sexless relationship for years and just needs occasional sex for their sanity's sake. Even in this situation i agree that it would likely be very hurtful to the person getting cheated on if they found out...

But then the other side of that is that the other partner may well have been feeling rejected and/or ashamed for years."

From a more selfish perspective, we don't want someone's hidden drama invading our lives! The last thing we want is someone's OH turning up on our doorstep as they've found meet messages on the cheaters phone.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"I think this is a slightly more complex question.

Depends what the OPs marital situation is actually like and what they are after.

If they're looking to form a new relationship and are cheating to find a new partner before booting the old one then that does seem pretty low.

Then think about situations where someone is in a relationship where they are happy generally but one of them has no interest in sex anymore... but the other one does. Sure, in an ideal world you'd be able to tell your partner how you feel. I.e. "i love you and want to stay with you but i do need sex, do you mind if i get it elsewhere?" But thats not an easy conversation to have.

People all have their own lines they won't cross on this site and some people will judge others. You never quite known what someones personal circumstances are though.

You don't know other people's circumstances or what goes on in their relationship, I agree. All you can do is act in the best interests of your own relationship.

Yeah. The reason i wrote an unusually long post for me is cos its very hard to judge someones intent.

On the one hand you could have a person who just wants a bit more on the side.

On the other you could have a person whos tried to stay monogamous in a sexless relationship for years and just needs occasional sex for their sanity's sake. Even in this situation i agree that it would likely be very hurtful to the person getting cheated on if they found out...

But then the other side of that is that the other partner may well have been feeling rejected and/or ashamed for years."

They could leave. Simple.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think this is a slightly more complex question.

Depends what the OPs marital situation is actually like and what they are after.

If they're looking to form a new relationship and are cheating to find a new partner before booting the old one then that does seem pretty low.

Then think about situations where someone is in a relationship where they are happy generally but one of them has no interest in sex anymore... but the other one does. Sure, in an ideal world you'd be able to tell your partner how you feel. I.e. "i love you and want to stay with you but i do need sex, do you mind if i get it elsewhere?" But thats not an easy conversation to have.

People all have their own lines they won't cross on this site and some people will judge others. You never quite known what someones personal circumstances are though.

You don't know other people's circumstances or what goes on in their relationship, I agree. All you can do is act in the best interests of your own relationship.

Yeah. The reason i wrote an unusually long post for me is cos its very hard to judge someones intent.

On the one hand you could have a person who just wants a bit more on the side.

On the other you could have a person whos tried to stay monogamous in a sexless relationship for years and just needs occasional sex for their sanity's sake. Even in this situation i agree that it would likely be very hurtful to the person getting cheated on if they found out...

But then the other side of that is that the other partner may well have been feeling rejected and/or ashamed for years."

Who knows, that's the thing. We try to avoid partnered men where their other half is unaware (we'd avoid partnered women too if we met them) precisely because we don't know their situation. Life is complicated, relationships are complicated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think this is a slightly more complex question.

Depends what the OPs marital situation is actually like and what they are after.

If they're looking to form a new relationship and are cheating to find a new partner before booting the old one then that does seem pretty low.

Then think about situations where someone is in a relationship where they are happy generally but one of them has no interest in sex anymore... but the other one does. Sure, in an ideal world you'd be able to tell your partner how you feel. I.e. "i love you and want to stay with you but i do need sex, do you mind if i get it elsewhere?" But thats not an easy conversation to have.

People all have their own lines they won't cross on this site and some people will judge others. You never quite known what someones personal circumstances are though.

You don't know other people's circumstances or what goes on in their relationship, I agree. All you can do is act in the best interests of your own relationship.

Yeah. The reason i wrote an unusually long post for me is cos its very hard to judge someones intent.

On the one hand you could have a person who just wants a bit more on the side.

On the other you could have a person whos tried to stay monogamous in a sexless relationship for years and just needs occasional sex for their sanity's sake. Even in this situation i agree that it would likely be very hurtful to the person getting cheated on if they found out...

But then the other side of that is that the other partner may well have been feeling rejected and/or ashamed for years.

Who knows, that's the thing. We try to avoid partnered men where their other half is unaware (we'd avoid partnered women too if we met them) precisely because we don't know their situation. Life is complicated, relationships are complicated."

Indeed they are.

And i totally understand not wanting to meet partnered people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not impressed by a woman giving a married man advice on where to look for an extra marital affair, unless I've misunderstood your advice ?

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"I think this is a slightly more complex question.

Depends what the OPs marital situation is actually like and what they are after.

If they're looking to form a new relationship and are cheating to find a new partner before booting the old one then that does seem pretty low.

Then think about situations where someone is in a relationship where they are happy generally but one of them has no interest in sex anymore... but the other one does. Sure, in an ideal world you'd be able to tell your partner how you feel. I.e. "i love you and want to stay with you but i do need sex, do you mind if i get it elsewhere?" But thats not an easy conversation to have.

People all have their own lines they won't cross on this site and some people will judge others. You never quite known what someones personal circumstances are though.

You don't know other people's circumstances or what goes on in their relationship, I agree. All you can do is act in the best interests of your own relationship.

Yeah. The reason i wrote an unusually long post for me is cos its very hard to judge someones intent.

On the one hand you could have a person who just wants a bit more on the side.

On the other you could have a person whos tried to stay monogamous in a sexless relationship for years and just needs occasional sex for their sanity's sake. Even in this situation i agree that it would likely be very hurtful to the person getting cheated on if they found out...

But then the other side of that is that the other partner may well have been feeling rejected and/or ashamed for years.

They could leave. Simple. "

Have to agree with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think this is a slightly more complex question.

Depends what the OPs marital situation is actually like and what they are after.

If they're looking to form a new relationship and are cheating to find a new partner before booting the old one then that does seem pretty low.

Then think about situations where someone is in a relationship where they are happy generally but one of them has no interest in sex anymore... but the other one does. Sure, in an ideal world you'd be able to tell your partner how you feel. I.e. "i love you and want to stay with you but i do need sex, do you mind if i get it elsewhere?" But thats not an easy conversation to have.

People all have their own lines they won't cross on this site and some people will judge others. You never quite known what someones personal circumstances are though.

You don't know other people's circumstances or what goes on in their relationship, I agree. All you can do is act in the best interests of your own relationship.

Yeah. The reason i wrote an unusually long post for me is cos its very hard to judge someones intent.

On the one hand you could have a person who just wants a bit more on the side.

On the other you could have a person whos tried to stay monogamous in a sexless relationship for years and just needs occasional sex for their sanity's sake. Even in this situation i agree that it would likely be very hurtful to the person getting cheated on if they found out...

But then the other side of that is that the other partner may well have been feeling rejected and/or ashamed for years.

They could leave. Simple. "

They could but they could be perfectly happy in every other aspect of their lives... you never know.

I agree with what the other poster said earlier though. As a fabber there'd always be the worry that someones pissed off partner turns up at your door.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I get a little fed up with the hypocrisy of some people

This is a swinging site... that in itself is frowned upon by the majority of people

But we all have different view points

We are all on here for our own reasons

Don’t judge others

Just go into the sweet shop and taste which you like

If you find some sweets not to your taste just accept that and eat lick or handle those that you do"

It’s not hypocritical. Society judges a lot of things that it doesn’t understand or that is considered out of the norm, that doesn’t mean that it’s bad. Swinging isn’t the same as cheating, irrespective of how society views it.

Trying to dress it up in nice pretty metaphors only makes it sound like you’re trying to condone cheating

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Not impressed by a woman giving a married man advice on where to look for an extra marital affair, unless I've misunderstood your advice ?"

Who are you replying to? If you use reply+quote we can tell

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By * WillisMan
over a year ago

London


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair? "

I’m gonna get flak for this I just know it and there’s going to be a lot of people disagreeing with my comment but here goes

I think a lot more women would happily consider meeting a married guy without his wife knowing, if they didn’t think guys were complete dip shits which ends up with the woman dealing with the fall out through a phone call from the aforementioned wife when she catches her husband fucking about

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

I’m gonna get flak for this I just know it and there’s going to be a lot of people disagreeing with my comment but here goes

I think a lot more women would happily consider meeting a married guy without his wife knowing, if they didn’t think guys were complete dip shits which ends up with the woman dealing with the fall out through a phone call from the aforementioned wife when she catches her husband fucking about "

I doubt this. I think women don't meet married men because they don't want to be hanging around waiting for him to sneak away, for him to be constantly listening out for his phone, to never be seen in public with him, to be cancelled on last minute because he wife came home early, to never wear perfume in case his wife smells it etc etc. Same goes for men meeting married women.

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By * WillisMan
over a year ago

London


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

I’m gonna get flak for this I just know it and there’s going to be a lot of people disagreeing with my comment but here goes

I think a lot more women would happily consider meeting a married guy without his wife knowing, if they didn’t think guys were complete dip shits which ends up with the woman dealing with the fall out through a phone call from the aforementioned wife when she catches her husband fucking about

I doubt this. I think women don't meet married men because they don't want to be hanging around waiting for him to sneak away, for him to be constantly listening out for his phone, to never be seen in public with him, to be cancelled on last minute because he wife came home early, to never wear perfume in case his wife smells it etc etc. Same goes for men meeting married women. "

Oh I also agree with that but years back when my marriage collapsed in 2008 I literally had a lot of women here say “look I don’t need the hassle of her finding your phone, other than that I would” or they were just being nice

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

I’m gonna get flak for this I just know it and there’s going to be a lot of people disagreeing with my comment but here goes

I think a lot more women would happily consider meeting a married guy without his wife knowing, if they didn’t think guys were complete dip shits which ends up with the woman dealing with the fall out through a phone call from the aforementioned wife when she catches her husband fucking about

I doubt this. I think women don't meet married men because they don't want to be hanging around waiting for him to sneak away, for him to be constantly listening out for his phone, to never be seen in public with him, to be cancelled on last minute because he wife came home early, to never wear perfume in case his wife smells it etc etc. Same goes for men meeting married women.

Oh I also agree with that but years back when my marriage collapsed in 2008 I literally had a lot of women here say “look I don’t need the hassle of her finding your phone, other than that I would” or they were just being nice "

Who knows. That's easily solved by not giving out your number though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never at the expense of others

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

I’m gonna get flak for this I just know it and there’s going to be a lot of people disagreeing with my comment but here goes

I think a lot more women would happily consider meeting a married guy without his wife knowing, if they didn’t think guys were complete dip shits which ends up with the woman dealing with the fall out through a phone call from the aforementioned wife when she catches her husband fucking about "

We totally disagree. Most decent people have no respect for dishonest people.

Why choose some lying prick when there are loads of decent honest chaps about?

Simple really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not condoning but not judging either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

I’m gonna get flak for this I just know it and there’s going to be a lot of people disagreeing with my comment but here goes

I think a lot more women would happily consider meeting a married guy without his wife knowing, if they didn’t think guys were complete dip shits which ends up with the woman dealing with the fall out through a phone call from the aforementioned wife when she catches her husband fucking about "

I'd never meet a married man no matter how great at deception and hiding things from his wife he was, I would never want to be lied and cheated on and I don't want to help or be part of the reason thet hapoe s to somone, it has nothing to do with the fact I could get bounce back if she found out and got mad at me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These threads are always great reading especially from those who you can tell are getting a little irked.

Peace

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"Not condoning but not judging either"

Who's judging?

Surely no one on here honestly thinks cheat, disrespect and dishonesty is ok?

You guys and girls can cheat all you want, but please do not even try to say that none of the above apply.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"These threads are always great reading especially from those who you can tell are getting a little irked.

Peace "

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By * WillisMan
over a year ago

London


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

I’m gonna get flak for this I just know it and there’s going to be a lot of people disagreeing with my comment but here goes

I think a lot more women would happily consider meeting a married guy without his wife knowing, if they didn’t think guys were complete dip shits which ends up with the woman dealing with the fall out through a phone call from the aforementioned wife when she catches her husband fucking about

I doubt this. I think women don't meet married men because they don't want to be hanging around waiting for him to sneak away, for him to be constantly listening out for his phone, to never be seen in public with him, to be cancelled on last minute because he wife came home early, to never wear perfume in case his wife smells it etc etc. Same goes for men meeting married women.

Oh I also agree with that but years back when my marriage collapsed in 2008 I literally had a lot of women here say “look I don’t need the hassle of her finding your phone, other than that I would” or they were just being nice

Who knows. That's easily solved by not giving out your number though "

True you practice safe sex as well then

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

I’m gonna get flak for this I just know it and there’s going to be a lot of people disagreeing with my comment but here goes

I think a lot more women would happily consider meeting a married guy without his wife knowing, if they didn’t think guys were complete dip shits which ends up with the woman dealing with the fall out through a phone call from the aforementioned wife when she catches her husband fucking about

I doubt this. I think women don't meet married men because they don't want to be hanging around waiting for him to sneak away, for him to be constantly listening out for his phone, to never be seen in public with him, to be cancelled on last minute because he wife came home early, to never wear perfume in case his wife smells it etc etc. Same goes for men meeting married women.

Oh I also agree with that but years back when my marriage collapsed in 2008 I literally had a lot of women here say “look I don’t need the hassle of her finding your phone, other than that I would” or they were just being nice

Who knows. That's easily solved by not giving out your number though

True you practice safe sex as well then "

Damn right. A ahem fuck phone is an alternative.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"These threads are always great reading especially from those who you can tell are getting a little irked.

Peace

"

You shouldn't be agreeing with me.

You may cause a few blood vessels to burst.

Anyway, this prick is just going to lurk for a while longer

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"These threads are always great reading especially from those who you can tell are getting a little irked.

Peace

You shouldn't be agreeing with me.

You may cause a few blood vessels to burst.

Anyway, this prick is just going to lurk for a while longer "

Never bothered me what other people do to be honest. As long as they’re honest with whoever they plan on meeting I don’t see the issue. Not my business, as mine isn’t anyone else’s business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/07/21 16:57:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"These threads are always great reading especially from those who you can tell are getting a little irked.

Peace

You shouldn't be agreeing with me.

You may cause a few blood vessels to burst.

Anyway, this prick is just going to lurk for a while longer

Never bothered me what other people do to be honest. As long as they’re honest with whoever they plan on meeting I don’t see the issue. Not my business, as mine isn’t anyone else’s business. "

Praise the Lord

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair? "

Just lie about being married, Dude. I do, and always get away with it. Nobody's found out yet

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"I think this is a slightly more complex question.

Depends what the OPs marital situation is actually like and what they are after.

If they're looking to form a new relationship and are cheating to find a new partner before booting the old one then that does seem pretty low.

Then think about situations where someone is in a relationship where they are happy generally but one of them has no interest in sex anymore... but the other one does. Sure, in an ideal world you'd be able to tell your partner how you feel. I.e. "i love you and want to stay with you but i do need sex, do you mind if i get it elsewhere?" But thats not an easy conversation to have.

People all have their own lines they won't cross on this site and some people will judge others. You never quite known what someones personal circumstances are though.

You don't know other people's circumstances or what goes on in their relationship, I agree. All you can do is act in the best interests of your own relationship.

Yeah. The reason i wrote an unusually long post for me is cos its very hard to judge someones intent.

On the one hand you could have a person who just wants a bit more on the side.

On the other you could have a person whos tried to stay monogamous in a sexless relationship for years and just needs occasional sex for their sanity's sake. Even in this situation i agree that it would likely be very hurtful to the person getting cheated on if they found out...

But then the other side of that is that the other partner may well have been feeling rejected and/or ashamed for years.

They could leave. Simple.

They could but they could be perfectly happy in every other aspect of their lives... you never know.

I agree with what the other poster said earlier though. As a fabber there'd always be the worry that someones pissed off partner turns up at your door."

It's not just that, THEY might be happy and willing to cheat to stay happy but what about their partner? I don't care what anyone says, if you love your partner and are happy with them, you wouldn't cheat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not too sure its me anymore nowadays maybe im just in a down day we shall see

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

Just lie about being married, Dude. I do, and always get away with it. Nobody's found out yet "

What a great guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can never understand if these posts are attention seeking or real. Bizarre how people announce their affairs to the world "

But not their partners..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"an affair is not swinging its pretty simple"

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"I can never understand if these posts are attention seeking or real. Bizarre how people announce their affairs to the world

But not their partners.."

The best is when they expect praise for being honest to you, a complete stranger, when they can't be honest to the person they claim to love.

The mind boggles.

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"an affair is not swinging its pretty simple"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did anyone catch who the OP was ?

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

Even swingers cheat oh, and they lie. They are not above all that just because they enjoy a swinging lifestyle, they are still just humans with human behaviours and traits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Did anyone catch who the OP was ? "

Undisclosed VVC

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Just be honest with who you're meeting.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

Just lie about being married, Dude. I do, and always get away with it. Nobody's found out yet

What a great guy."

What a complete and utter f...... .... and a dangerous game if he's not just saying that,because if that had happened to me I'd have no problem in tracking him down and telling his wife. At least have a tiny amount of decency to give the person he wants to f... the choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

This is a site for swingers, you're not unwelcome here but alot of people (me included) will not be interested and also not approve."

Well said. Bugger off.

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

Just lie about being married, Dude. I do, and always get away with it. Nobody's found out yet

What a great guy.

What a complete and utter f...... .... and a dangerous game if he's not just saying that,because if that had happened to me I'd have no problem in tracking him down and telling his wife. At least have a tiny amount of decency to give the person he wants to f... the choice. "

Well said.

If someone did that to me I would do exactly the same.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

Just lie about being married, Dude. I do, and always get away with it. Nobody's found out yet

What a great guy.

What a complete and utter f...... .... and a dangerous game if he's not just saying that,because if that had happened to me I'd have no problem in tracking him down and telling his wife. At least have a tiny amount of decency to give the person he wants to f... the choice. "

I think he was joking but it fell abit flat

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

Just lie about being married, Dude. I do, and always get away with it. Nobody's found out yet

What a great guy.

What a complete and utter f...... .... and a dangerous game if he's not just saying that,because if that had happened to me I'd have no problem in tracking him down and telling his wife. At least have a tiny amount of decency to give the person he wants to f... the choice.

I think he was joking but it fell abit flat "

You can never tell in this place

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

Just lie about being married, Dude. I do, and always get away with it. Nobody's found out yet

What a great guy.

What a complete and utter f...... .... and a dangerous game if he's not just saying that,because if that had happened to me I'd have no problem in tracking him down and telling his wife. At least have a tiny amount of decency to give the person he wants to f... the choice.

I think he was joking but it fell abit flat

You can never tell in this place "

Very true! The OP proves that

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

There are plenty of people who will meet married people. You keep assuming this is why your expectations are not being met. Read some of the answers to your other threads.

Vx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swing and affair are completely different things

Swing = not a relationship but too experiment new things or do things with consent on occasion.

Affair = meeting the same or multiple people on a regular basis.

But both are cheating.

It's all to do with headspace and understanding. And some people are not interested to partake in it.

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.

[Removed by poster at 13/07/21 22:24:05]

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.

[Removed by poster at 13/07/21 22:25:27]

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"Swing and affair are completely different things

Swing = not a relationship but too experiment new things or do things with consent on occasion.

Affair = meeting the same or multiple people on a regular basis.

But both are cheating.

It's all to do with headspace and understanding. And some people are not interested to partake in it.

"

Cheating involves dishonesty.

Both are not cheating.

Everyone has their opinion of course, but we see this as a common line of thought from people who are playing around behind their partner's back and without their consent and knowledge.

Now that's cheating

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair?

Just lie about being married, Dude. I do, and always get away with it. Nobody's found out yet

What a great guy.

What a complete and utter f...... .... and a dangerous game if he's not just saying that,because if that had happened to me I'd have no problem in tracking him down and telling his wife. At least have a tiny amount of decency to give the person he wants to f... the choice. "

Just dare to try!!!

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By *edonist79Man
over a year ago

Trowbridge

No judgement. Some won't care but a lot will. Remember they don't want to be a part of hurting other people. Swingers work because of great communication between partners for one thing and wouldn't appreciate being cheated on.

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By *panddaCouple
over a year ago

West Mids


"So to understand that this is not a place where a married man should look for an affair? "

Maybe you should make yourself aware of the definitions of cheating and swinging.

Then you can answer the question yourself.

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