FabSwingers.com forum: Imposter Syndrome

By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

Who identifies with that then?

Apart from me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s the opposite called, I often think what am I doing at my job when I should be the greatest singer/ songwriter of my generation ?

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I still have it, but I've moved past the stage where it stopped me doing anything. It hits me worst in work, where every promotion pushes me to an increasingly senior role where I feel increasingly insecure.

I know absolutely I'm good at what I do. Logically, I know it, and I have plenty of evidence to back that up. Emotionally, I'm convinced that everything I've ever done has been a complete fluke, I'm actually rubbish and this is the job where everyone will find out.

If I get any sort of ambiguous message from my boss ("can you give me a shout?" or "I need to put some time in for a catch-up", for example) it makes my stomach churn and will usually make me literally shake as my panic response dumps adrenaline into my system.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yep. I just showed a friend something I've made, she said I should sell it...

Selling stuff is for people who can do it properly isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffer with this in all walks of my life, particularly career and romantic relationships. Constantly feel like I’m tricking people into think I’m better than I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big time.

I recently completed a course and Everyone around me kept saying they were Proud of me and how hard I had worked and they could see a big difference in me.

I feel like a complete fraud and that eventually I'm gonna get found out because I don't feel like I did my best or was good enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I suffer with this in all walks of my life, particularly career and romantic relationships. Constantly feel like I’m tricking people into think I’m better than I am."

Thats exactly how I feel.

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By *amantha TSWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

Had a huge dose of it a few months back, going to a group photo shoot with other photographers. Went, saw how easy the other photographers were directing models, getting them to pose and it just made it worse. Took all of 5 images which were crap and left disheartened. Haven't done a proper shoot since. I'll get back into it, but when I feel confident enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely in my career. I'm constantly worrying that I'm not really that skilled and other people will see me as a liability. It's why I hate getting raises at work too, because I never think my skillset justifies it and I'd never get that salary if I moved elsewhere

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By *ourNextAddictionMan
over a year ago

Somerset

In work - For my age, I’m in a position were everyone else is rather senior…

It often makes me feel like have I rushed up the chain too fast? But in reality, I’ve been pushed up the chain by others.

With that in mind, I’ll often forget my position & turn into everyone’s friend.

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I like going to the gym and going for a run. For some reason this means to men that I am really fit and they think that they wouldn't be able to keep up with me.

Is it not ok to enjoy those things at a low level of fitness?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yepp, I absolutely do.. Particularly in my academic career.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I totally have imposter syndrome, I'm working against it but it is part of me, a part I would really like to out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've spoken to so many people over the years who have this at work.

Me included to some degree.

It's usually by people who have either ascended through the ranks quickly or just lack confidence in their role.

I think mine is because my job isn't suited to me anymore, but it pays the bills so I've stopped giving a shit.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

No as that would suggest I'm good at something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a kid you presume adults know what they are doing, as you grow up you realise that everyone is winging it to a certain extant, the key is to look like you know what you are doing. I’m talking about life in general, thats the illusion created and it’s hard to shake off that feeling, so it leaves you thinking you’re the only one who shouldn’t be where they are, when in reality I’m sure most people have that, whether it’s fleeting or permanent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a kid you presume adults know what they are doing, as you grow up you realise that everyone is winging it to a certain extant, the key is to look like you know what you are doing. I’m talking about life in general, thats the illusion created and it’s hard to shake off that feeling, so it leaves you thinking you’re the only one who shouldn’t be where they are, when in reality I’m sure most people have that, whether it’s fleeting or permanent. "

So true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trots off for a google....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Trots off for a google...."

Nope, phew!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Where do you get told at school "...if you are financially comfortable, capable, content and have struck that rare work/life balance: then you should feel proud in refusing that promotion and keep your head and hair below the parapet"?

Nope: I haven't it's either you're off to Uni, the rest are just factory fodder!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My other half is awful for it

Said he'd flunked uni - came away with a first from Manchester

Said he wouldn't get a decent job - walked straight into one

Said he wouldn't progress - offered two 50k plus jobs within the same week

All the time feeling like he's blagging and feeling like he's gonna get 'found out'

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I had a terrible attack of it when giving a presentation in Monterey a few years back. The whole room seem to vanish and I was the little lad getting up to no good on a council estate in Reading.

It all worked out in the end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this a lot having recently trained in a new career! I dont know why. I also think people think I'm nicer than I actually am

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Yep sometimes. During my Masters I was convinced someone was going to turn around and say to me I was undergrad level at best.

At work I feel quite a bit younger than my colleagues and like I'm not quite... well good enough? It's not often I feel like that though, most of the time I'm pretty secure in terms of work/academia.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be an underachiever

I never have that problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be an underachiever

I never have that problem. "

Being ambiguous is for those that lack imagination.

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By *bostCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

Constantly (Mr).

Feel that at some point someone is going to take me aside and explain that due to an oversight twenty years ago I’ve been kept on and promoted by mistake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be an underachiever

I never have that problem.

Being ambiguous is for those that lack imagination. "

Is this good or bad. I need an emoji to help me out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be an underachiever

I never have that problem.

Being ambiguous is for those that lack imagination.

Is this good or bad. I need an emoji to help me out

I dunno, I made it up, it sounds like it could be a quote, but on closer inspection I think I’m talking bollocks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be an underachiever

I never have that problem.

Being ambiguous is for those that lack imagination.

Is this good or bad. I need an emoji to help me out

I dunno, I made it up, it sounds like it could be a quote, but on closer inspection I think I’m talking bollocks!

Oh good I did hope so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell you what I thought but you might think I'm faking it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep sometimes. During my Masters I was convinced someone was going to turn around and say to me I was undergrad level at best.

At work I feel quite a bit younger than my colleagues and like I'm not quite... well good enough? It's not often I feel like that though, most of the time I'm pretty secure in terms of work/academia."

She just wanted everyone to know she had a Masters. Everything after that was padding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep sometimes. During my Masters I was convinced someone was going to turn around and say to me I was undergrad level at best.

At work I feel quite a bit younger than my colleagues and like I'm not quite... well good enough? It's not often I feel like that though, most of the time I'm pretty secure in terms of work/academia.

She just wanted everyone to know she had a Masters. Everything after that was padding."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep. I just showed a friend something I've made, she said I should sell it...

Selling stuff is for people who can do it properly isn't it?

Ha! So me!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Yep sometimes. During my Masters I was convinced someone was going to turn around and say to me I was undergrad level at best.

At work I feel quite a bit younger than my colleagues and like I'm not quite... well good enough? It's not often I feel like that though, most of the time I'm pretty secure in terms of work/academia.

She just wanted everyone to know she had a Masters. Everything after that was padding."

Go and entertain your OAP fan club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll come back to this x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attachment plays a big role

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I get it from time to time, but I try my hardest to be a positive example to other women in my profession, so they feel they can do it too.

This is why it's so important for diverse representation in tip tier career sectors and public life. Everyone should be able to see someone they can identify with, succeeding at something and feeling that they can also have that same success. Rather than feeling it's for other people and they are an outsider not worthy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep sometimes. During my Masters I was convinced someone was going to turn around and say to me I was undergrad level at best.

At work I feel quite a bit younger than my colleagues and like I'm not quite... well good enough? It's not often I feel like that though, most of the time I'm pretty secure in terms of work/academia.

She just wanted everyone to know she had a Masters. Everything after that was padding.

Go and entertain your OAP fan club. "

You're not so far behind these days, turtle.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Yep sometimes. During my Masters I was convinced someone was going to turn around and say to me I was undergrad level at best.

At work I feel quite a bit younger than my colleagues and like I'm not quite... well good enough? It's not often I feel like that though, most of the time I'm pretty secure in terms of work/academia.

She just wanted everyone to know she had a Masters. Everything after that was padding.

Go and entertain your OAP fan club.

You're not so far behind these days, turtle."

Love it when you call me such filth you studmuffin you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, felt it with my work, and obviously with my journey transitioning. I still do have moments where I have to cancel out the voices in my head that tell me i that I’m “not woman” enough and never will be. No matter how hard I try (and it makes me very sad because I know who I am within me)

Luckily I get this less now than I used to and I do my best to try and rebalance myself when I think like this

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