FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Degrading

Jump to newest
 

By *nytime1234 OP   Man
over a year ago

wakefield

Hi are there any ladies that would like to help me with a few things regarding humiliation/ degrading play , I’m quite intrigued but limited experience in this however my dilemma is I’m asked frequently if I’m into this by some lady fabbers who are looking for meets for this play . I’d like to know what would things you would like to do on a meet that isn’t going too far but is filling your needs if you get my drift. Would really appreciate any response on this xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

You degrading them, or them you?

Did you ask the ladies who'd already messaged you for their take on it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think this is something where you need to speak to the people concerned its so personal to the individual

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nytime1234 OP   Man
over a year ago

wakefield

I would agree there . I’m just wanting to hear others experience and interest to get some idea of the levels if that makes sense

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nytime1234 OP   Man
over a year ago

wakefield

Me to degrade them and I’ve asked what they are wanting exactly but i don’t get a exact reply more answers like no limits the dirty the better etc that sort of thing not , I like it when men do ..... . So I’m struggling to know what exactly it is ? But I’m interested and want to take part and more important to make sure it is pleasing her on out meet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi are there any ladies that would like to help me with a few things regarding humiliation/ degrading play , I’m quite intrigued but limited experience in this however my dilemma is I’m asked frequently if I’m into this by some lady fabbers who are looking for meets for this play . I’d like to know what would things you would like to do on a meet that isn’t going too far but is filling your needs if you get my drift. Would really appreciate any response on this xx"

…

It comes in many forms and everyone will have their own take on it.

I’m a feedee and for most men they get their kicks from taking me out, buying me food and watching me eat, massaging oils into my rolls etc

Some men are into stuffing and force feeding. I see that as a form of humiliation and degradation which I’m not into.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nytime1234 OP   Man
over a year ago

wakefield

Thanks for your reply. I get off more from seeing her been pleased I love to see the reaction from what I’m doing really. What would make you feel turned on to limit when meeting a guy? Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *horehouseprincessWoman
over a year ago

small town near Munich

Thats a very individual thing and as far as I'm concerned tricky.

As always, communication is key. Lots of it!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends very much on the individual. Be very wary if someone saying they have no limits, there should always be clear and consensual boundaries (on both sides) and both people within the dynamic should be aware of them, and respect them at all times. They can be fluid and evolve, but only after discussing it.

It’s all about clear communication.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Degradation covers a wide span and ranges from fun/light to really hardcore.

I would say all ideas must be discussed in advance and, critically, be agreed to - you can do this in a fun way as part of the build up 'how about if xxx..she replies, you ask again would you like that? She replies - you then have her ask you for what was just discussed - you do not want any misunderstandings om this topic!

- you definitely want to know that you 'have permission' ..

Here are some light/fun ones - in fact on second thoughts, I'll message them to you!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also!

Would say this activity definitely requires an agreed safe word - both of you need one - and use it if either of you need to.

Also.. Degradation can take people to a dark place - especially if you've been told you are worthless and crawled on your hands +knees for hours.. So you wil need to do very good aftercare - this is also for your peace of mind. Have a call when they get home - check how they are feeling, ask them directly - ask if they enjoyed the meet and how they felt about it - did it go as expected , any surprises - and how do they feel about those. Check what their plans are.. Maybe suggest a nice relaxing bath /glass if wine/watching their favourite film etc

Then check in again the next day and then as needed

Try to ask probing Qs.. You don't really want an 'I'm fine' as it covers an entire dictionary of potential feelings +reactions

As it can be quite intense, it is usually part of an agreed D/s dynamic rather than a casual play partner

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I agree with much that midnight and others have posted. Degradation play is a tricky and can be a triggering event.

To be honest, I'd be concerned about any submissives asking about degradation play who haven't thought what that means to them. Especially when they don't know you and you have no experience of that kind of play.

My advice would be to let them lead on what it is they want to explore and not for you to lead them into a scene.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Me to degrade them and I’ve asked what they are wanting exactly but i don’t get a exact reply more answers like no limits the dirty the better etc that sort of thing not , I like it when men do ..... . So I’m struggling to know what exactly it is ? But I’m interested and want to take part and more important to make sure it is pleasing her on out meet "

Not being funny, but are you sure those messages were from women and not men posing as women? Most female submissives (that are serious and knowledgeable about the lifestyle) I have come across wouldn't come out with phrases like that, quite the opposite - so I'd see them as a red flag coming from a stranger on an Internet site, and suspect either it's a bloke looking to get his jollies by you writing back dirty, or someone who really hasn't thought about their needs or has a great deal of knowledge of the lifestyle and things like SSC, RACK etc

I would proceed with caution, and either back away, or ask them to be more detailed about what exactly they are looking for.

No disrespect either, but the fact you are asking suggests to me your knowledge is limited and would question if you were in a position to go ahead anyway, if that's the case, again I'd suggest a backwards step and taking time out to research and read up on the subject (if it's something you're interested in proceeding with) and not actually 'doing' anything until you have done so and are sufficiently informed of the risks etc

P.S. if you use the reply and quote button we'll be able to see who you are replying to.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Me to degrade them and I’ve asked what they are wanting exactly but i don’t get a exact reply more answers like no limits the dirty the better etc that sort of thing not , I like it when men do ..... . So I’m struggling to know what exactly it is ? But I’m interested and want to take part and more important to make sure it is pleasing her on out meet "

I’d be a bit cautious that she has this need but isn’t able to communicate about it clearly. Communication is key with any kind of kink play! You don’t want to wrong-foot it and potentially cause damage.

If she’s mature enough to indulge in this kink she should be mature enough to communicate clearly about it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Me to degrade them and I’ve asked what they are wanting exactly but i don’t get a exact reply more answers like no limits the dirty the better etc that sort of thing not , I like it when men do ..... . So I’m struggling to know what exactly it is ? But I’m interested and want to take part and more important to make sure it is pleasing her on out meet

Not being funny, but are you sure those messages were from women and not men posing as women? Most female submissives (that are serious and knowledgeable about the lifestyle) I have come across wouldn't come out with phrases like that, quite the opposite - so I'd see them as a red flag coming from a stranger on an Internet site, and suspect either it's a bloke looking to get his jollies by you writing back dirty, or someone who really hasn't thought about their needs or has a great deal of knowledge of the lifestyle and things like SSC, RACK etc

I would proceed with caution, and either back away, or ask them to be more detailed about what exactly they are looking for.

No disrespect either, but the fact you are asking suggests to me your knowledge is limited and would question if you were in a position to go ahead anyway, if that's the case, again I'd suggest a backwards step and taking time out to research and read up on the subject (if it's something you're interested in proceeding with) and not actually 'doing' anything until you have done so and are sufficiently informed of the risks etc

P.S. if you use the reply and quote button we'll be able to see who you are replying to."

This 100%

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Me to degrade them and I’ve asked what they are wanting exactly but i don’t get a exact reply more answers like no limits the dirty the better etc that sort of thing not , I like it when men do ..... . So I’m struggling to know what exactly it is ? But I’m interested and want to take part and more important to make sure it is pleasing her on out meet

Not being funny, but are you sure those messages were from women and not men posing as women? Most female submissives (that are serious and knowledgeable about the lifestyle) I have come across wouldn't come out with phrases like that, quite the opposite - so I'd see them as a red flag coming from a stranger on an Internet site, and suspect either it's a bloke looking to get his jollies by you writing back dirty, or someone who really hasn't thought about their needs or has a great deal of knowledge of the lifestyle and things like SSC, RACK etc

I would proceed with caution, and either back away, or ask them to be more detailed about what exactly they are looking for.

No disrespect either, but the fact you are asking suggests to me your knowledge is limited and would question if you were in a position to go ahead anyway, if that's the case, again I'd suggest a backwards step and taking time out to research and read up on the subject (if it's something you're interested in proceeding with) and not actually 'doing' anything until you have done so and are sufficiently informed of the risks etc

P.S. if you use the reply and quote button we'll be able to see who you are replying to."

Exactly this plus what makes me wary that this might be a man getting his jollies off is there is nothing in your profile to suggest you are into this type of kink even your username suggests your not a dom so why out of the thousands of other profiles claiming to be doms and actual doms would she want to indulge in this type of kink I'd just be careful as I think its someone pulling your chain or there's as the case maybe

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Hi are there any ladies that would like to help me with a few things regarding humiliation/ degrading play , I’m quite intrigued but limited experience in this however my dilemma is I’m asked frequently if I’m into this by some lady fabbers who are looking for meets for this play . I’d like to know what would things you would like to do on a meet that isn’t going too far but is filling your needs if you get my drift. Would really appreciate any response on this xx"

If it's not your boat don't float it.

Let people find someone that likes it....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t believe in ‘no limits’, everybody has some. Asking ‘would you let me cut your hair’ will very often make people realise they do and can help get the conversation on the right track: out of the fantasy world and into reality.

As was suggested earlier, do some research: you can start by watching porn, searching with these specific key words. Lots of it: you’ll quickly find out what arouses you and what makes your stomach churn.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

then watch it a few times more and your stomach won't churn anymore ....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irthlingMan
over a year ago

stroud


"Also!

Would say this activity definitely requires an agreed safe word - both of you need one - and use it if either of you need to.

Also.. Degradation can take people to a dark place - especially if you've been told you are worthless and crawled on your hands +knees for hours.. So you wil need to do very good aftercare - this is also for your peace of mind. Have a call when they get home - check how they are feeling, ask them directly - ask if they enjoyed the meet and how they felt about it - did it go as expected , any surprises - and how do they feel about those. Check what their plans are.. Maybe suggest a nice relaxing bath /glass if wine/watching their favourite film etc

Then check in again the next day and then as needed

Try to ask probing Qs.. You don't really want an 'I'm fine' as it covers an entire dictionary of potential feelings +reactions

As it can be quite intense, it is usually part of an agreed D/s dynamic rather than a casual play partner "

If ever I’m humiliated, I want Midnight to provide my aftercare

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/07/21 09:25:05]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally this kind of play should be discussed in person first and a bit more depth through messaging.

Humiliation and rough play is such a trust game to play.

And done with the wrong person can go pretty sour quick.

Good luck with it be careful and make sure you choose the right person.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"Me to degrade them and I’ve asked what they are wanting exactly but i don’t get a exact reply more answers like no limits the dirty the better etc that sort of thing not , I like it when men do ..... . So I’m struggling to know what exactly it is ? But I’m interested and want to take part and more important to make sure it is pleasing her on out meet "

I'm female and Mr enjoys being degraded. He told me about his fantasy and I responded. It can involve actual role play, messages or phone calls between us. I find it a bit exhausting sometimes as it gets more extreme, with it being about his pleasure. When it gets too much I say. As with most things communication is key. I check out if what I'm doing is within limits. Ms

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top