FabSwingers.com forum: Things you never here a woman say

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Don't worry about the toilet seat

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I was wrong

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Thanks for making me feel desired and trying to fuck me every morning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was wrong"

Damn in before me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have enough clothes and shoes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wanna meet up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FAF?

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Please feel free to look at me tit's whilst I try to crowbar a decent conversation out of you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Did you see that ludicrous performance last night”

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Never mind a meal & conversation - just take me for a shag over your bonnet in the pub car park!!

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I was wrong

Damn in before me

Ha ha

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"“Did you see that ludicrous performance last night”"

What was wenger thinking?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“Did you see that ludicrous performance last night”"

What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott in that early?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“Did you see that ludicrous performance last night”"

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Don't worry I'll take the bins out tonight, that might just be me though

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

Does my cock look big in this?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I've tidied up, and done the washing up *for you*

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I don’t like chocolate..

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"I've tidied up, and done the washing up *for you*

This is what a woman never says, not what a man ever says

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

I think the modern offside rule is ridiculous!

It used to be so much easier when it was the goal keeper & 1 player & they used to give the benefit of doubt to the strilker...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No dear I don't want a glass of wine

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I've tidied up, and done the washing up *for you*

This is what a woman never says, not what a man ever says

a woman never tells a man she's done housework for him, men (not Mr N I might add) often say they've done housework for a woman

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

I don't have a headache tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never mind a meal & conversation - just take me for a shag over your bonnet in the pub car park!!

I’d totally want that instead of a meal and conversation lol

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"No dear I don't want a glass of wine"

Aha. I don't drink alcohol

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"I've tidied up, and done the washing up *for you*

This is what a woman never says, not what a man ever says

a woman never tells a man she's done housework for him, men (not Mr N I might add) often say they've done housework for a woman

Ah right. Oops

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By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

I love it when you look at my tits when you talk to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have recollection of you ever doing anything wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think my dick is going to fall off

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By *oxy4youTV/TS
over a year ago

Henfield

I’m glad you look at porn

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I've tidied up, and done the washing up *for you*

This is what a woman never says, not what a man ever says

a woman never tells a man she's done housework for him, men (not Mr N I might add) often say they've done housework for a woman

Ah right. Oops

it was obscure to be fair

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By *rambuie100Man
over a year ago

essex/suffolk border

Pull my finger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“Did you see that ludicrous performance last night”

What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott in that early?"

Always trying to walk it in

What a tv show. One of the best.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Arghhh, I sat on my bollocks

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By *ormorantMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

That’s the right hole..

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By *ocothumpaMan
over a year ago

quite close to you

1. “I’m perfectly happy…. with everything, there’s nothing I’ve want to change, buy, lose or disrupt.”

2. “HEY GARÇON!!!! I’ve just done the BIGGEST SHIT in your toilet…WOAH!!! You’re gonna need a plumber…. anyway, soo weird that Dave and Susan thought we’d get along “

3. “Sorry”

4. “Nope haven’t got any lube…just use that vapo rub”

5. “No, no those three pumps, and your whimper as you came…that’s all the sex I need…no no THANK YOU for sending me the 28 unsolicited messages…it is a shame you didn’t ride me like the dirty whore bitch I am…and thanks for not taking the time to shower…I’ll just pop downstairs and chat with your mother as you have a nap”

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By *xtcMan
over a year ago

b ham

Why don't you stay in the pub and have a few beers with your mates

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By *uv2kissMan
over a year ago

fenland

Would you like to watch my sister and me tonight?

I washed your wanking sock for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t like chocolate.."

I hate the stuff!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. “I’m perfectly happy…. with everything, there’s nothing I’ve want to change, buy, lose or disrupt.”

2. “HEY GARÇON!!!! I’ve just done the BIGGEST SHIT in your toilet…WOAH!!! You’re gonna need a plumber…. anyway, soo weird that Dave and Susan thought we’d get along “

3. “Sorry”

4. “Nope haven’t got any lube…just use that vapo rub”

Classssaaaaaay

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By *andy 1Couple
over a year ago

northeast

i will pay for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you wanna watch me on cam

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I’m parked up within 1/4 mile from you if you want sucking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Want to fuck me

And do you want pegged

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh what a lovely message XXX

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Yes dear, there is something that’s niggling me, I’ll explain to you what it is if you like.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

You look better in that dress than I do

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"I've tidied up, and done the washing up *for you*

This is what a woman never says, not what a man ever says

a woman never tells a man she's done housework for him, men (not Mr N I might add) often say they've done housework for a woman

Ha ha same as they never say is it ok if u look after the children while I go out with the boys! X

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I've tidied up, and done the washing up *for you*

This is what a woman never says, not what a man ever says

Nope. It's the *for you* that is added which implies they've done you a favour cleaning their own shit up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for making me feel desired and trying to fuck me every morning. "

Hahaha

Brilliant

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I've tidied up, and done the washing up *for you*

This is what a woman never says, not what a man ever says

a woman never tells a man she's done housework for him, men (not Mr N I might add) often say they've done housework for a woman

Please don't correct things before i've had a chance to correct them. Thanks.

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

"Arghhh, I sat on my bollocks

I remember a lady on here starting a thread about how she'd sat on one her flaps

*thread drift...apologies.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Arghhh, I sat on my bollocks

I remember a lady on here starting a thread about how she'd sat on one her flaps

*thread drift...apologies.

Is that even possible ?

I might practise - gives me something to do

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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago

Solihull and Brentwood

"Arghhh, I sat on my bollocks

I remember a lady on here starting a thread about how she'd sat on one her flaps

If she'd (axeidently) sat on her other flap at the same time. She may have needed help in pricing herself off the floor. Just sayin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll cut the grass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh, go on then...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancy a bum ?

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By *J GeminiTV/TS
over a year ago

Northumberland

Oh, you are listening!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“Did you see that ludicrous performance last night”"

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By *othianGuy41Man
over a year ago

Eureka

I'm sorry, you were right!

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I'm a cock slut who loves it up the arse..... erm maybe afew do, duno

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Sure, I meet you now in your lonely hotel room" (even though you're married and cheating, no idea what you look like or sound like and you live 250 miles ago

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my case. I'm cumming lol

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By *orkshrCplCouple
over a year ago

Ripon

""Sure, I meet you now in your lonely hotel room" (even though you're married and cheating, no idea what you look like or sound like and you live 250 miles ago

) "

Lmao love this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where's the batteries?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not hungry, then again I am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll cut the grass"

I do, and all the DIY and bins etc

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

"Iv got sweaty nuts" !

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

You look great in that string vest.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"You look great in that string vest.

. This one made me laugh out loud

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By *oppolocosTV/TS
over a year ago

inverurie

"I've tidied up, and done the washing up *for you*

This is what a woman never says, not what a man ever says

a woman never tells a man she's done housework for him, men (not Mr N I might add) often say they've done housework for a woman

Not in my experience, women never stop telling you what chores they've done, whilst utterly ignoring anything the guy has done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry I didn’t reply to your message because I am lazy bitch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take a picture next to a sky remote need to see how big your cock is

Her x

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

""Sure, I meet you now in your lonely hotel room" (even though you're married and cheating, no idea what you look like or sound like and you live 250 miles ago

) "

bugger, typo error, I meant to write 250 miles away.... Honestly, I get these "meet me now" messages on a daily basis

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Take a picture next to a sky remote need to see how big your cock is

Her x"

Hey I have said that afew times before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does my bum look small in this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Take a picture next to a sky remote need to see how big your cock is

Her x

Hey I have said that afew times before

Whoops...

Her x

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

"I wish more men would explain things that I've already explained, but in a less succinct and clear way".

And

"I wish more men would tell me what it's like to be a woman"

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Don't put your cock in the hoover, I'll suck it for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Thank you so much for telling me what I already know”

“I know it tastes like warm salty snot, but I just LOVE swallowing it, darling!”

“Of course you can hold the door open for me. I won’t thank you though - I will just scold you under my breath for being condescending and sexist”.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Sorry "

I love the blue undies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't put your cock in the hoover, I'll suck it for you. "

This one made me giggle

Her x

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Don't put your cock in the hoover, I'll suck it for you.

This one made me giggle

Her x"

That's one way to make you smile.

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By *kaythen07Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Yes I do know what I would like to eat

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Show us your semi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Show us your semi

Actually Dirty desire just started a tread on that one..,

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Sorry I'm late..

I know exactly which shoes I'm going to wear...

Yes it's fine i know the way...

Would you like me to come and pick you up from the pub / golf club / mates house so you can have a drink?

I've left the loo seat up for you..

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By *rchitectMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Is it in yet.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

That’s enough wine for me - you have the last glass….

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Yes you’re right - I am overreacting and I do just need to calm down and. Stop being a drama Queen - so glad you pointed that out - especially the mansplaining and waving your finger in my face - that’s really hot!!

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By *ackFromTheDead2Man
over a year ago

London/Surrey

"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love? "

Had this 1 before but it is rare

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By *ustfortheforumsWoman
over a year ago

Found the outfit I’m going to wear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love? "

I'd like to point out that I did this for a guy during the England Ukraine match as it was meant to be a half time blow job but it ran over. I missed 3 of the 4 goals and he giggled sheepishly every time!!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Shall I wear my granny pants or those blue knickers you like?

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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

Tell you what you’ve done wrong when she’s pissed with you

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?

Did he run round the living room with his shirt over his head after he came screaming ‘ he shoots… he scores!?’

If not he has missed that moment forever!!

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By *ltra72Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?

Did he run round the living room with his shirt over his head after he came screaming ‘ he shoots… he scores!?’

If not he has missed that moment forever!!

He probably sang it’s cumming home

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By *iscreet-is-paramountMan
over a year ago

somewhere only we know.

I've backed the car in and it's full of petrol......

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"I've backed the car in and it's full of petrol......"

Just not in the tank!

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?

Did he run round the living room with his shirt over his head after he came screaming ‘ he shoots… he scores!?’

If not he has missed that moment forever!!

He probably sang it’s cumming home

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

“Yes DD. You may place your man sausage in my lady finger bun”

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I'm telling you he was offside

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're such a skillful and sensual lover, I feel so selfish keeping you all to my myself.

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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago

Reading

Can you “repair/fix”.Do it when you want. I will not keep reminding you every week / month etc until it is done.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

“Show me your face pic…….again”

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?

You'll be telling me you swallowed and that the tooth fairy exists next!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you cum?

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By *ersey GirlCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Let me explain the offside rule

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm satisfied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh you got everything on the shopping list right.

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By *arry monk40Man
over a year ago

Telford

I'll get the first round in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish I was like your mum.

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By *aveandholly42Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

"I was wrong"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?

You'll be telling me you swallowed and that the tooth fairy exists next! "

I can't confirm the tooth fairy I'm afraid lol

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?

You'll be telling me you swallowed and that the tooth fairy exists next!

I can't confirm the tooth fairy I'm afraid lol"

The waiting list of men wanting to watch football with you just got even longer.... Just for research purposes only.. Can you time the money shot with when our 'arry shoots and scores, filling the net from inside the box?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being rude and body shameing

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

My balls ache, drain them for me!

Jo.Xx

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

"being rude and body shameing"

You don’t think women body shame or are rude? Do you have to walk through a wardrobe to get to where you live?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?

You'll be telling me you swallowed and that the tooth fairy exists next!

I can't confirm the tooth fairy I'm afraid lol

Well I didn't time the money shot like that, but we scored three goals while I was doing it so maybe it was a lucky blow job

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes dear, you were completely right, I'll ensure to check my emotions before I overreact, of course it makes more sense to stick it in dry."

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘Yes, of course I perfectly understand the off side rule in football!’

(Mind you…..I have yet to meet a man who can summarise it in layman’s terms)

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

Please send me a dick pic

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

"‘Yes, of course I perfectly understand the off side rule in football!’

(Mind you…..I have yet to meet a man who can summarise it in layman’s terms)

Easy!!!

At least two defending players must be in front of the most forward attacking player when the ball is played to him/her.

It helps when you’ve coached in the premier league haha

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I've said far too many of this things.

Does that mean I'm not a real woman?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great post OP, using the ‘things a woman wouldn’t say’ thought process is how I detect fake profiles on here.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"‘Yes, of course I perfectly understand the off side rule in football!’

(Mind you…..I have yet to meet a man who can summarise it in layman’s terms)

Easy!!!

At least two defending players must be in front of the most forward attacking player when the ball is played to him/her.

It helps when you’ve coached in the premier league haha"

I stand gratefully corrected; That is a perfect description

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feel free to stare, it's what they're there for. Why else do you think I wore this dress?

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Can I suck your cock while you watch the football my love?

You'll be telling me you swallowed and that the tooth fairy exists next!

I can't confirm the tooth fairy I'm afraid lol

Well I didn't time the money shot like that, but we scored three goals while I was doing it so maybe it was a lucky blow job

The nation is very grateful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have any kids of my own. None that I know of!

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