FabSwingers.com forum: Snake bites man's arse on toilet

By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

A poor man was sat on his toilet in Austria and a five foot python slithered up the waste pipe and bit him on the arse... Dangerous buggers. If that snake was poisonous it could have been much worse ...

They think it escaped from a neighbouring apartment down the cistern..

Stop keeping these evil buggers as pets ..

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Monty's revenge

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

My first thought (in horror!) would have been that my turd had suddenly come alive and was seeking revenge.

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Awwww, I thought you were doin' a post about pints of Snake Bite.....

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

A poisonous snake would only be harmful if you ate it Tom.

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By *orace pinkerMan
over a year ago

North west

"A poor man was sat on his toilet in Austria and a five foot python slithered up the waste pipe and bit him on the arse... Dangerous buggers. If that snake was poisonous it could have been much worse ...

They think it escaped from a neighbouring apartment down the cistern..

Stop keeping these evil buggers as pets .."

Be a lot worse if it was venomous instead of poisonous tom

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Ah the brown spitting cobra

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By *unandgamegeekMan
over a year ago

Bolton

I heard the snake bit him on the dick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did it escape 'down a cistern'?

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By *9Karm69Man
over a year ago

plymouth/chesterfield

"Awwww, I thought you were doin' a post about pints of Snake Bite.....

PMSL

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

This bugger was not poisonous. It is described as 5 feet but can grow to 30. I am not sure but I think they are constrictors..

Imagine that thing wrapped around your willy dangling in the bowl.. women have nothing to fear...

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"How did it escape 'down a cistern'?"

It literally slithered down the owners toilet and appeared up the next door neighbours toilet.. then bit the poor man on the arse

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

Could have been worse. It could have gone for ball bag

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I do not make this up. It's all over the news

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

I'd be straight down to "Mongoose 'R' Us."

They win about 75%-80% of their encounters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did it escape 'down a cistern'?

It literally slithered down the owners toilet and appeared up the next door neighbours toilet.. then bit the poor man on the arse "

But the cistern is the tank that holds the water. Surely it escaped down the pan?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often see a snake when I go to the toilet

shame it’s more like a grass snake than a python

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A poisonous snake would only be harmful if you ate it Tom. "

Hilarious. Well pointed out

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"How did it escape 'down a cistern'?

It literally slithered down the owners toilet and appeared up the next door neighbours toilet.. then bit the poor man on the arse

But the cistern is the tank that holds the water. Surely it escaped down the pan?

Mr"

Yes. Down the pan. Down the pan.. the bugger escaped down the pan

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"A poisonous snake would only be harmful if you ate it Tom.

Hilarious. Well pointed out

Not hilarious for the guy bit on the arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jeepers. Enough to send you round the bed with worry!

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

"Jeepers. Enough to send you round the bed with worry! "

Around the u-bend?

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Well I for one will not be totally comfortable sitting on my throne until the image leaves my mind and sitting on the toilet reading the news has always been my place is solace

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Well all I can say that anything brave enough to be in the loo whilst I'm having a dump and survive probably deserves some sort of award.

I would have thought that getting bitten by one of those whilst not venomous they have huge mouths so it would be very painful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jeepers. Enough to send you round the bed with worry!

Around the u-bend?"

Well that was the intent, but bloody typo made a bad joke even more shit!

Will this place ever get an edit function?

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

If it was a constrictor it's either python or boa both none poisonous. And neither can grow 2 30 foot x

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

"Jeepers. Enough to send you round the bed with worry!

Around the u-bend?

Well that was the intent, but bloody typo made a bad joke even more shit!

Will this place ever get an edit function? "

I get why there's no edit button. It's a good idea that there isn't one. Plus I wouldn't have been able to poach your joke if there was

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"…Imagine that thing wrapped around your willy dangling in the bowl.. women have nothing to fear..."

I’m sure I’ve seen that video on P*rnhub

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Could have been worse. It could have gone for ball bag

Could have been worse, could have been one of those sewer dwelling sharks or crocodiles

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

The man is interviewed and the clip is on BBC news along with a picture of this serpent. The owner may be charged. He had 11 snakes in his room and clearly could not control these buggers

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

Coming to a cinema near you, Samuel L Jackson stars in "Snakes in a Pan"

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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

They do have very dangerous wildlife in Austria.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

It happened to me. Not on my arse but my cock!

I rushed to A&E, and asked them for something to relieve the pain but leave the swelling.

Boom boom!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"The man is interviewed and the clip is on BBC news along with a picture of this serpent. The owner may be charged. He had 11 snakes in his room and clearly could not control these buggers"

I know how he feels. More than two is always a struggle.

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

"The man is interviewed and the clip is on BBC news along with a picture of this serpent. The owner may be charged. He had 11 snakes in his room and clearly could not control these buggers

I know how he feels. More than two is always a struggle."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Snakes and rimming eh

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By *ameiMan
over a year ago

Aviemore

"If it was a constrictor it's either python or boa both none poisonous. And neither can grow 2 30 foot x "

Theres a python what has grown near 30 feet. Sometimes a constrictor is worse, can kill you quicker than a venomous snake.

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By *ameiMan
over a year ago

Aviemore

"Coming to a cinema near you, Samuel L Jackson stars in "Snakes in a Pan"

I've had enough of these motherfucking snake/s in the motherfucking toilet. Samuel L Jackson. What an actor

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

The poor man must be traumatized.. people who keep snakes should need training and a licence..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The number of times I've slithered up a waste pipe in Austria.

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Thought this was a post about cider and black

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are snakes evil too? Sharks, bears and snakes lol

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"Are snakes evil too? Sharks, bears and snakes lol"

I think you know the answer ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are snakes evil too? Sharks, bears and snakes lol

I think you know the answer ..

Haha I think we have to agree to disagree on this one

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

The poor man sits on his toilet pan...one of the man's safe refuge places and an evil serpent bites his buttocks..

Can't imagine anything worse..

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By *ameiMan
over a year ago

Aviemore

"Are snakes evil too? Sharks, bears and snakes lol

I think you know the answer ..

Haha I think we have to agree to disagree on this one

Snakes can be evil. But like any other animal they attack when provoked

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"The poor man sits on his toilet pan...one of the man's safe refuge places and an evil serpent bites his buttocks..

Can't imagine anything worse..

Could have been a shark, Tom

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"The man is interviewed and the clip is on BBC news along with a picture of this serpent. The owner may be charged. He had 11 snakes in his room and clearly could not control these buggers"

Sounds like 'buggers' was nearly the appropriate description!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thats one way to get a sore arse

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

My snake is lovely. Wanna come stroke him Tom?

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"My snake is lovely. Wanna come stroke him Tom? "

I honestly am not keen on stroking those slimey snakes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read that it bit him on the genitals. Ouch

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

"The poor man sits on his toilet pan...one of the man's safe refuge places and an evil serpent bites his buttocks..

Can't imagine anything worse..

Could have been a shark, Tom

Yup, it's bad when you get a shark coming up your toilet to bite you on the bum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friend worked next door to a charity shop and one of the old ladies asked for his help, there was a snake in the changing room. Anyway he helped secure it, basically about 6 weeks earlier the apartment above had lost their snake.

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I am not sure how easy it is to train a snake. Those Indian snake charmers seem to do well but apart from that I am not sure they return on command. I don't think they have ears so they are probably deaf

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Some animals are just not pet agree with you op no need to keep exotic pets what wrong with a good old dog cat or fish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are snakes evil too? Sharks, bears and snakes lol

I think you know the answer ..

Haha I think we have to agree to disagree on this one

Snakes can be evil. But like any other animal they attack when provoked "

Having someone shit on your head could be classed as provocation!

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"My snake is lovely. Wanna come stroke him Tom?

I honestly am not keen on stroking those slimey snakes "

They're not the slightest bit slimy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got 2 4ft corn snakes, I have never been bitten by them nor have they escaped in the 4 years I've had them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something about this story doesn’t adder up?

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Now if this had happened in Australia instead of Austria it would be just another everyday occurrence......

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"Now if this had happened in Australia instead of Austria it would be just another everyday occurrence...... "

I am not the biggest fan of Australia . What have the Australians ever done for us.. ?

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Iv kept snakes 4 over 40 years and yes bin biten a few times .all part of keeping snakes .x

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Do snakes have loyalty like dogs.. ?

I don't think so..

They are not pets but just held captive...

Keeping snakes in the UK should be banned

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

"Do snakes have loyalty like dogs.. ?

I don't think so..

They are not pets but just held captive...

Keeping snakes in the UK should be banned "

Why ?

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"Do snakes have loyalty like dogs.. ?

I don't think so..

They are not pets but just held captive...

Keeping snakes in the UK should be banned

Why ? "

They are not let's

They do not love...they are captives...

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

"Do snakes have loyalty like dogs.. ?

I don't think so..

They are not pets but just held captive...

Keeping snakes in the UK should be banned

Why ?

They are not let's

They do not love...they are captives... "

Do fish love .do birds love .mice .rats .do animals av 2 show love 2 b kept as pets ?

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Agreed...no ace for retiles as pets...release them into the place they came from but not Essex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://www.greatbritishlife.co.uk/things-to-do/wildlife/celebrating-essex-snakes-6954752 Here you go Tom, something to read

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I have seen these buggers on the costal path at Walton.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always look in the toilet before I sit down

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I always look down the toilet after a poo...

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