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Double standards

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton

Ok. We're are very open minded and each to their own. We enjoy letting our hair down on this scene and it's a lovely way to express ourselves. However, while looking for people to play with we see profiles (mainly women) stating they are not looking for men in relationships and don't message them because the women don't want drama, and that's understandable, but on the contrary to this, women also post that they are married or in relationships, their partner doesn't know and if this is a problem then move on and this is accepted. So why is it that men in relationship are detested and viewed as cheaters, using this site to "play away" and this isn't accepted? Just curious on the general consensus out here.

Happy fabbing

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

That's weird. I'm single and do avoid marrieds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because we are men on here that is the sad reality!

Great point though!!

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

Isn't that the nature of the site that anyone can request whatever they like regardless of their situation.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Ok. We're are very open minded and each to their own. We enjoy letting our hair down on this scene and it's a lovely way to express ourselves. However, while looking for people to play with we see profiles (mainly women) stating they are not looking for men in relationships and don't message them because the women don't want drama, and that's understandable, but on the contrary to this, women also post that they are married or in relationships, their partner doesn't know and if this is a problem then move on and this is accepted. So why is it that men in relationship are detested and viewed as cheaters, using this site to "play away" and this isn't accepted? Just curious on the general consensus out here.

Happy fabbing "

Because some men looking for women just want to get their dicks wet and think that if the woman is in a relationship there's less chance of emotional attachment.

Most women playing away tend to keep themselves to themselves. Most men aying away get frustrated and whinge that they can't get any fanny.

Im guessing the women in your op are different ones of course, not the same woman playing away but doesn't want to meet men playing away. That's a proper double standard lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I avoid people playing without permission.

It’s none of my business how they treat their partner but it is my business how I treat their partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/07/21 11:27:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One thing I've noticed is that online dating, weather it's Fab or other sites is totally different to the real world. Here woman have the upper hand whereas men it's totally different. Ironically the odds of actually finding someone that suites your needs is still the same(love, pure great sex, ect).

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"That's weird. I'm single and do avoid marrieds. "

Do you avoid both, married men and women or just married men?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As there are far fewer women on here than men, even if the ratio of single/consenting to cheating were the same for women as men the total number of cheating women will be far less making them less noticeable.

We tend to only notice the topics that get the most attention thereby gaining those topics more attention and making it feel like these issues are bigger than they perhaps are. The same women who say they won't meet cheating men would likely disapprove as strongly of cheating women but they are far less likely to be messaged by them or find a thread about them so we don't get to hear those views which isn't the same as saying they don't exist.

All this goes a long way to explaining what you see without even starting on the stereotypes about men and women and how likely they are or not to shag anything and anyone etc.

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just a fact of life and one of many double standards on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just the way it is.. but you do find that there are some very opinionated people on here. But you've made a valid point

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"Because we are men on here that is the sad reality!

Great point though!!"

From the female perspective; if I met a married woman I wouldn't be phased. If we're both going behind our partners' back then it almost would be like finding a "kindred spirit" in that person. Hopefully we'd understand each other and so on. It would almost be like "normalizing" the situation. However, if I were to meet a man and he was going behind his partners back then I would require an understanding of his situation and this would inform my decision.

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By *irthlingMan
over a year ago

stroud


"I avoid people playing without permission.

It’s none of my business how they treat their partner but it is my business how I treat their partner. "

This should be in the big book of Fab philosophy, chapter 1

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

A old report from the Fab Ministry for Stating the Bloody Obvious opined "They say that because they can! Get over it."

It is simple, couples and single females on Fab can filter men as much as the want because there are so many to chose from there will always be a pool of candidates.

In my couple days my FWB (who I met on Fab) used to be hunted by couples because she retained her single bi-female profile (an original Unicorn).

She was however married and her husband did not know and she told applicants that. Yet not one couple, single man or woman hesitated to ask for a meet despite knowing that and despite many having a "no married or attached men" tag on their profiles.

She used to tell them "As a cheating married woman I would not want to meet a couple who disapproved of cheating married men" It seems times have not changed that much.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

A lot of women can imagine the destruction feelings of being cheated on, a lot of men find it especially fun and naughty to be the one to get the upper hand over another male

Yes roles can be reversed in the above scenarios but not often

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I really don't think that's the case. Cheating isn't acceptable for anyone of any gender, in any relationship, mixed or same sex.

Maybe men are just more willing to let it slide if the woman is married? Because they think with their dicks not their head? And they don't think they'll have to worry about her getting feelings, so it's a safe fuck?

Women are more likely to consider the bigger picture and how they would feel if it was their partner cheating. And we all know they'd get the shit for being the other woman if they got found out.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

If you want something badly or desperate enough, you can find your own moral code starts to slip.

In much the same way we are more forgiving of our friends shitty behaviour compared to a strangers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both as bad as each other

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton

[Removed by poster at 03/07/21 11:54:49]

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"If you want something badly or desperate enough, you can find your own moral code starts to slip.

In much the same way we are more forgiving of our friends shitty behaviour compared to a strangers."

We totally agree here. Human nature is to justify one's actions by telling oneself "it's the right thing to do" and "it's not gonna harm anyone if they don't know". That is until they actually do and one has to think about what they did and how it affected the other person.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Ok. We're are very open minded and each to their own. We enjoy letting our hair down on this scene and it's a lovely way to express ourselves. However, while looking for people to play with we see profiles (mainly women) stating they are not looking for men in relationships and don't message them because the women don't want drama, and that's understandable, but on the contrary to this, women also post that they are married or in relationships, their partner doesn't know and if this is a problem then move on and this is accepted. So why is it that men in relationship are detested and viewed as cheaters, using this site to "play away" and this isn't accepted? Just curious on the general consensus out here.

Happy fabbing "

If MARY says she doesn't want married men that's MARY.

If MONICA says she's married and playing away - that's MONICA.

Don't accuse either of them of double standards. They've been clear from the off of their standard and stuck to it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Oh P.S.

Married men are not detested by all. Many get meets without the moralisation.

Lot's of people object to married women playing away.

I think you are putting 2 and 2 together and making 5......

One isn't evidence of the other.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Because we are men on here that is the sad reality!

Great point though!!"

Even though it's untrue ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"It's just a fact of life and one of many double standards on here "

It's not FACT ....

It's not double standards either.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Hardly a double-standard

There is a lot less potential for drama meeting a married woman than a married man

Maried women seldom come on here bemoaning the fact that no-one wants to meet them

There's two differences without even thinking about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because we are men on here that is the sad reality!

Great point though!!

Even though it's untrue ?"

Ok crumpet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people can state what they are looking for, regardless of what they are offering. So you can be married but insist on single meets, you can be slim and insist on a BBW (or vice versa), you can be short and insist on tall etc etc etc

Basically, everyone has the right to say what they want, double standard or not. Doesn't mean they'll get it, but they can be picky because we're all here for pleasure and to fulfill our own fantasies.

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"Ok. We're are very open minded and each to their own. We enjoy letting our hair down on this scene and it's a lovely way to express ourselves. However, while looking for people to play with we see profiles (mainly women) stating they are not looking for men in relationships and don't message them because the women don't want drama, and that's understandable, but on the contrary to this, women also post that they are married or in relationships, their partner doesn't know and if this is a problem then move on and this is accepted. So why is it that men in relationship are detested and viewed as cheaters, using this site to "play away" and this isn't accepted? Just curious on the general consensus out here.

Happy fabbing

If MARY says she doesn't want married men that's MARY.

If MONICA says she's married and playing away - that's MONICA.

Don't accuse either of them of double standards. They've been clear from the off of their standard and stuck to it.

"

We're not talking about the individual we're discussing what's more socially accepted.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I think people can state what they are looking for, regardless of what they are offering. So you can be married but insist on single meets, you can be slim and insist on a BBW (or vice versa), you can be short and insist on tall etc etc etc

Basically, everyone has the right to say what they want, double standard or not. Doesn't mean they'll get it, but they can be picky because we're all here for pleasure and to fulfill our own fantasies."

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"I think people can state what they are looking for, regardless of what they are offering. So you can be married but insist on single meets, you can be slim and insist on a BBW (or vice versa), you can be short and insist on tall etc etc etc

Basically, everyone has the right to say what they want, double standard or not. Doesn't mean they'll get it, but they can be picky because we're all here for pleasure and to fulfill our own fantasies."

Totally valid

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"Oh P.S.

Married men are not detested by all. Many get meets without the moralisation.

Lot's of people object to married women playing away.

I think you are putting 2 and 2 together and making 5......

One isn't evidence of the other. "

Agreed, we're just going by what we've experienced

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones that make me laugh are the ones who state that they don't want to be sent cock pics despite having some very explicit picture, even gynacological in some cases, on their own profiles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The ones that make me laugh are the ones who state that they don't want to be sent cock pics despite having some very explicit picture, even gynacological in some cases, on their own profiles."

Well maybe they don't attach those photos to first messages and spam loads of men with them? People can have whatever they want in their profile, you've chosen to look at it. Messages are different, it's your introduction to someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because they think with their dicks not their head?

Women are more likely to consider the bigger picture"

Ignoring the fact that the OP was about double standards from women and nothing to do with the reason some men will happily share married women, it's funny how negative stereotypes of men and positive stereotypes of women are acceptable but not the other way around?

Maybe it's because women are devious and sly so men know there's little chance of being caught by an irate spouse? Or possible any woman who cheats is obviously a slut so likely going to be a good shag?

Oh, silly me, we can't say negative things like that about women's behavoir, especially not their sexual behaviour. I'll go put myself on the naughty step.

Mr

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

We don't meet women, however we have turned down couples in the past because they are fbs and the woman is married to someone else.

We wouldn't knowingly meet anyone that's cheating, however seen many threads started by men saying how much of a turn on it is to meet married women playing away.

Miss

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"The ones that make me laugh are the ones who state that they don't want to be sent cock pics despite having some very explicit picture, even gynacological in some cases, on their own profiles.

Well maybe they don't attach those photos to first messages and spam loads of men with them? People can have whatever they want in their profile, you've chosen to look at it. Messages are different, it's your introduction to someone."

Agreed.

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"Because they think with their dicks not their head?

Women are more likely to consider the bigger picture

Ignoring the fact that the OP was about double standards from women and nothing to do with the reason some men will happily share married women, it's funny how negative stereotypes of men and positive stereotypes of women are acceptable but not the other way around?

Maybe it's because women are devious and sly so men know there's little chance of being caught by an irate spouse? Or possible any woman who cheats is obviously a slut so likely going to be a good shag?

Oh, silly me, we can't say negative things like that about women's behavoir, especially not their sexual behaviour. I'll go put myself on the naughty step.

Mr"

The reason we focused on the women's perspective is because, in our experience, a married woman playing away is more accepted. Bi female profiles that may mention infidelity will only mention unfaithful man and not women. That's why we wanted to open the discussion. We're not saying it's the rule it's just what we've seen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look for single men and single women and there is no double standard, I will not meet any person who is playing without there partners consent... I know lots of wowen who equally won't meet unavailable men without there partners permission and many men who won't meet unavailable women too but in the other hand I know many men and women who don't care and will happily sleep with somone behind there partners back... Its all about finding somone who doesn't care and on a site where men out number women at least 10 to 1 that gives a much higher number of men who don't care even if percentage wise its the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because they think with their dicks not their head?

Women are more likely to consider the bigger picture

Ignoring the fact that the OP was about double standards from women and nothing to do with the reason some men will happily share married women, it's funny how negative stereotypes of men and positive stereotypes of women are acceptable but not the other way around?

Maybe it's because women are devious and sly so men know there's little chance of being caught by an irate spouse? Or possible any woman who cheats is obviously a slut so likely going to be a good shag?

Oh, silly me, we can't say negative things like that about women's behavoir, especially not their sexual behaviour. I'll go put myself on the naughty step.

Mr

The reason we focused on the women's perspective is because, in our experience, a married woman playing away is more accepted. Bi female profiles that may mention infidelity will only mention unfaithful man and not women. That's why we wanted to open the discussion. We're not saying it's the rule it's just what we've seen."

My earlier reply wasn't a dig at your OP just expressing my frustration that true equality is so far off. If someone makes an assumption that women in general share negative traits that is condemned but no one seems to care about the same kind of assumptions when the traits are positive and they definitely don't give a toss about negative assumptions of men such as the one here that they think with their dicks.

Stereotypes are harmful - even positive ones, if you look for it there is a fair bit of research into the effects of the different way we all tend to praise girls and boys.

Answering complex questions by referring to stereotypes is lazy (which is why our brains do it - it saves us a lot of extra thought) and it's often incorrect. That is without dealing with the insult that men think with their dicks.

Mr

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Because men either don’t care or it’s a boost to their ego that they think that they’re giving a woman something that her husband/partner can’t.

It’s a competition thing and some guys enjoy feeling better than other guys.

This is often the basic thought process of guys that are asking for threesomes as well

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

I'm married and prefer playmates who are already in a primary relationship as well but it has to be consensual open relationships for me to enjoy my time with them, I hate to think of my pleasure being somebody else's misery... total turn off for me.

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By *not123Couple
over a year ago

sp1


"Ok. We're are very open minded and each to their own. We enjoy letting our hair down on this scene and it's a lovely way to express ourselves. However, while looking for people to play with we see profiles (mainly women) stating they are not looking for men in relationships and don't message them because the women don't want drama, and that's understandable, but on the contrary to this, women also post that they are married or in relationships, their partner doesn't know and if this is a problem then move on and this is accepted. So why is it that men in relationship are detested and viewed as cheaters, using this site to "play away" and this isn't accepted? Just curious on the general consensus out here.

Happy fabbing "

I'm a female playing away and trust me I've had some verbal insults as well as us playing as a couple playing away mybl feeling we are honest on our profile just don't message us or purely block us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think your examples proved your point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I avoid people playing without permission.

It’s none of my business how they treat their partner but it is my business how I treat their partner. "

- I avoid profiles like this also.

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"Because they think with their dicks not their head?

Women are more likely to consider the bigger picture

Ignoring the fact that the OP was about double standards from women and nothing to do with the reason some men will happily share married women, it's funny how negative stereotypes of men and positive stereotypes of women are acceptable but not the other way around?

Maybe it's because women are devious and sly so men know there's little chance of being caught by an irate spouse? Or possible any woman who cheats is obviously a slut so likely going to be a good shag?

Oh, silly me, we can't say negative things like that about women's behavoir, especially not their sexual behaviour. I'll go put myself on the naughty step.

Mr

The reason we focused on the women's perspective is because, in our experience, a married woman playing away is more accepted. Bi female profiles that may mention infidelity will only mention unfaithful man and not women. That's why we wanted to open the discussion. We're not saying it's the rule it's just what we've seen.

My earlier reply wasn't a dig at your OP just expressing my frustration that true equality is so far off. If someone makes an assumption that women in general share negative traits that is condemned but no one seems to care about the same kind of assumptions when the traits are positive and they definitely don't give a toss about negative assumptions of men such as the one here that they think with their dicks.

Stereotypes are harmful - even positive ones, if you look for it there is a fair bit of research into the effects of the different way we all tend to praise girls and boys.

Answering complex questions by referring to stereotypes is lazy (which is why our brains do it - it saves us a lot of extra thought) and it's often incorrect. That is without dealing with the insult that men think with their dicks.

Mr "

Really enjoying your input

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"I'm married and prefer playmates who are already in a primary relationship as well but it has to be consensual open relationships for me to enjoy my time with them, I hate to think of my pleasure being somebody else's misery... total turn off for me. "

Totally agree

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"I don't think your examples proved your point"

We're not proving a point just opening a discussing

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By *umshot1980Man
over a year ago

Netherton


"Ok. We're are very open minded and each to their own. We enjoy letting our hair down on this scene and it's a lovely way to express ourselves. However, while looking for people to play with we see profiles (mainly women) stating they are not looking for men in relationships and don't message them because the women don't want drama, and that's understandable, but on the contrary to this, women also post that they are married or in relationships, their partner doesn't know and if this is a problem then move on and this is accepted. So why is it that men in relationship are detested and viewed as cheaters, using this site to "play away" and this isn't accepted? Just curious on the general consensus out here.

Happy fabbing "

This comment hits the nail on the head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would avoid married men but it’s not through judgement, I wouldn’t want potential hassle.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Because women are often painted as vicitims in our society, so a cheating woman is viewed as someone who struggles at home and needs to cheat, or it isnt their fault, or whatever other excuse they use

Cheating is bad whoever does it, but in my experience when a woman does it its much more easily swept under the rug and labeled as a mistake by society

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Both as bad as each other

"

This makes no sense!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But I dont think ive seen one male profile that specifies they wont play with married women.

We can all put what we want on our profiles, and choose our filters. Its not necessarily a judgement on others, its a preference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But I dont think ive seen one male profile that specifies they wont play with married women.

We can all put what we want on our profiles, and choose our filters. Its not necessarily a judgement on others, its a preference."

I never understand why it always looks/sounds like the women are getting blamed though... Unless people are just really shit at wording... Who knows?!

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton


"But I dont think ive seen one male profile that specifies they wont play with married women.

We can all put what we want on our profiles, and choose our filters. Its not necessarily a judgement on others, its a preference."

Valid. I like this answers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my humble opinion, it may be that men are seen as the sexual aggressors and women to be more subservient. Therefore, he is cheating because he is ‘pursuing’ and the woman is ‘seeking’ because she is not being pleased, emotionally, by the aggressor in the household.

I am not saying this is the case but merely a perception that is deep-rooted in our subconscious.

In much the same manner as domestic abuse against men being treated as a joke by some.

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"I would avoid married men but it’s not through judgement, I wouldn’t want potential hassle."

A few years ago I posted in the Forum a question on how many Women or couples had been approached or contacted by an irate wife because of her husband's infidelity.

As I recall, in almost 100 posts, no one had ever been approached directly. So the hassel is often feared but does not in reality actually occur.

Now if we talk of no show because he has to be somewhere else then that is different. Married men are more constrained than single men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think people can state what they are looking for, regardless of what they are offering. So you can be married but insist on single meets, you can be slim and insist on a BBW (or vice versa), you can be short and insist on tall etc etc etc

Basically, everyone has the right to say what they want, double standard or not. Doesn't mean they'll get it, but they can be picky because we're all here for pleasure and to fulfill our own fantasies."

Well said Kitty, everyone had their preferences & there will be plenty of either sex that match up with their preferences. Too many people on fab are quick to throw toys out the pram when they don’t get what they want.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.

I've asked this before, and I'm not sure people see it as anymore acceptable for a woman to do it. Judging by the forums though if a woman is cheating then she often just gets on with it no dramas.

Where as the guys have the urge to explain why, and wanting some kind of justification that it's ok to do it.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.


"I would avoid married men but it’s not through judgement, I wouldn’t want potential hassle.

A few years ago I posted in the Forum a question on how many Women or couples had been approached or contacted by an irate wife because of her husband's infidelity.

As I recall, in almost 100 posts, no one had ever been approached directly. So the hassel is often feared but does not in reality actually occur.

Now if we talk of no show because he has to be somewhere else then that is different. Married men are more constrained than single men.

"

I remember a local fabber been chased down the street by an angry husband (with a knife) of one of his meets , so sometimes the shit does definitely hit the pan

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By *ourNextAddictionMan
over a year ago

Somerset


"I would avoid married men but it’s not through judgement, I wouldn’t want potential hassle.

A few years ago I posted in the Forum a question on how many Women or couples had been approached or contacted by an irate wife because of her husband's infidelity.

As I recall, in almost 100 posts, no one had ever been approached directly. So the hassel is often feared but does not in reality actually occur.

Now if we talk of no show because he has to be somewhere else then that is different. Married men are more constrained than single men.

I remember a local fabber been chased down the street by an angry husband (with a knife) of one of his meets , so sometimes the shit does definitely hit the pan"

What!? Imagine that - rocking up thinking I’m in for a wild time here, then 20mins in hubby comes in with a knife! Some serious RP or someone’s getting it…

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

When I first joined fab I was a married woman, my husband didn’t know. However we hadn’t had sex for over two year and lived practically separate lives.

I still stated that I was married and husband didn’t know on my profile though. I also stated that I didn’t want to meet married men, but that was only after I found I was wasting my time with most of them as they could only meet daytime (I work) or ended up cancelling last minute, so I just found it easier not to meet them.

Double standards maybe, but I was just avoiding wasting my time and drama

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"I avoid people playing without permission.

It’s none of my business how they treat their partner but it is my business how I treat their partner. "

Agreed. I don’t want to be any part of someone else’s mess, plus cheaters are usually messed up a little and bring their complications and drama.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the men want to get laid and will lower their standards to do so.

And because of the basic laws of supply and demand- less women to men equals less choice for the men x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok. We're are very open minded and each to their own. We enjoy letting our hair down on this scene and it's a lovely way to express ourselves. However, while looking for people to play with we see profiles (mainly women) stating they are not looking for men in relationships and don't message them because the women don't want drama, and that's understandable, but on the contrary to this, women also post that they are married or in relationships, their partner doesn't know and if this is a problem then move on and this is accepted. So why is it that men in relationship are detested and viewed as cheaters, using this site to "play away" and this isn't accepted? Just curious on the general consensus out here.

Happy fabbing "

Saying that it’s acceptable for women is generalising, 90% of men have no morals when it comes to sex and don’t give a monkeys if someone is in a relationship or not , as long as they get to fuck they are happy . Women are the opposite to this in most cases which leads to the above scenario

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"I think people can state what they are looking for, regardless of what they are offering. So you can be married but insist on single meets, you can be slim and insist on a BBW (or vice versa), you can be short and insist on tall etc etc etc

Basically, everyone has the right to say what they want, double standard or not. Doesn't mean they'll get it, but they can be picky because we're all here for pleasure and to fulfill our own fantasies."

I don't deny what you say; on Fab people can specify what they want within reason. So, you are correct and that is taken as read.

But in seeking the answer as to WHY they APPEAR to have a double standard I suggest saying "Because they can" does not get us there. As humans we seek to fully understand things as it enables us to live in a complex and crowded society so the question is why?.

Some years ago I remember a lady offering some answers to this perennial question.

She said Women are naturally programmed to possess stuff and if they are "borrowing" a married man it is not as fulfilling subconciously because he cannot be hers - even if consciously she is happy to give him back. In addition some women are secretly or subconsciously testing sex partners by the same criteria as proper partners. In this respect a "cheating" man is undesirable. And there is the fear of "what if my man did that to me?" How bad would I feel? So they don't want to tempt providence.

Men on he other hand are programmed to take what they want and the taking is all the sweeter if the woman belongs to another man.

No doubt many will disagree because we did not all come from the same mould. But at least I hope it goes a little way towards trying to answer the question.

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By *ilky_CocoPuffs OP   Couple
over a year ago

Luton

Thank you to everyone that took part in this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

May also be because they don’t want to develop feelings for a married man. Married men may not be as freely available to meet or to communicate with even for some fun and sexy flirting via message or calls.

These are generalities, not specific cases before someone points out the obvious that it can also apply to some single men and it isn’t the case for all married men.

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