FabSwingers.com forum: Vulnerable to a fault

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Is there an issue or taboo on here with being vulnerable, feeling down or looking for a degree of affirmation?

I recognise that confidence is seen as being a positive trait but if a person loses that confidence for whatever reason, is that then seen as negative?

If a person is down, should they not be on here?

Do only certain people receive attention if they need support?

Thoughts folks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Everyone is entitled to be here and use it how they choose, however there are times that I think some should take a step back as it can be quite harmful if they don’t hear it get what they want.

There are definitely individuals that use it as a crutch, a confidence boost and more.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh definitely. I can be very self deprecating in my humour which I use as a way to stop others pointing out my faults. But I realised that while it can be funny to an extent, there comes a point where it's just self-pity and if I can't see the good in myself, I can't expect others too either. Plus, it's probably exhausting for them to try and constantly pick me up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Part of it is this place can drag you down, depending on what you are using it for. If your confidence, feeling, and self esteem is low then this place will make it worse.

Not everyone (regardless if they say they are lovely and nice) wants to be burdened by others sadness or problems. Harsh but reality.

That said there are some truely caring and lovely people on here that will help you and bring your mood back up.

Should you be here if feeling low and lacking confidence? Yes. But expect that it may not always help you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Personally I feel if your feeling down and looking to fix it on here your just band aiding the issue. You shouldn’t seek confidence boosts from outside sources.

It’s also a little gross when I zee women doing it because the site is filled with 10,000 white knights that send messages like “your stunning” to blank profiles.

Have you really sank that low that you need to rely on those types of men for your daily confidence boost

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I would think it’s quite a dangerous place for vulnerable people to be. There’s nothing wrong with reaching out to friends when down, that’s what friends are for, even if you’ve met on a site like this. There’s also a vast difference between feeling down, being vulnerable and being an attention seeker

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

This is something that's made me feel very sad in the past.

I've not picked up on it here, on the contrary, but elsewhere on social media and dating platforms it often feels like you can only be accepted as a positive person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/07/21 12:32:06]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

"I would think it’s quite a dangerous place for vulnerable people to be. There’s nothing wrong with reaching out to friends when down, that’s what friends are for, even if you’ve met on a site like this. There’s also a vast difference between feeling down, being vulnerable and being an attention seeker "

Potentially dangerous certainly, but more are you actually going to get the support you need here.

Unless you have made real friends through the site (but even then, surely you'd go directly to them rather than plaster it over your status, with with a post to the forums?), I think you'd be best off looking elsewhere for help.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I feel if your feeling down and looking to fix it on here your just band aiding the issue. You shouldn’t seek confidence boosts from outside sources.

It’s also a little gross when I zee women doing it because the site is filled with 10,000 white knights that send messages like “your stunning” to blank profiles.

Have you really sank that low that you need to rely on those types of men for your daily confidence boost "

Well said

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're down as in having a bad day or got the blues I think the Forum can be a good place to connect and let off steam, especially if you have limited real world contact at this time.

I think its more complicated for long term mental health issues. Fab and the Forum can be addictive which brings a cycle of highs and lows, and if these coincide with the highs and lows of a mental health condition then I think a break may be better at these vulnerable times.

Not judging how anyone uses Fab, btw, just my own thoughts.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there an issue or taboo on here with being vulnerable, feeling down or looking for a degree of affirmation?

I recognise that confidence is seen as being a positive trait but if a person loses that confidence for whatever reason, is that then seen as negative?

If a person is down, should they not be on here?

Do only certain people receive attention if they need support?

Thoughts folks"

I think if anyone asks for genuine help it’s always worth asking them how they feel and trying to talk to them. It’s sometimes hard to fathom the genuine pleas or attention seeking. Not just on here but even Facebook. I think confidence can be two edged though sometimes people perceive your confidence as strength and that person might be reluctant to ask for any help. I’ve 6 personal experience last in the last 4 years of guys people doing just this and the story ending horribly.

I didn’t need to post on here when I felt low about it. But I did post a thread asking guys to just talk. And girls too!

But the support and messages I received helped me and lifted me so much.

I don’t think I’m popular now or back then as I was a relative newcomer to the forums, but it was nice to talk to relative strangers. It sometimes is easier to talk to people you know have any preconceptions on who you are.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"This is something that's made me feel very sad in the past.

I've not picked up on it here, on the contrary, but elsewhere on social media and dating platforms it often feels like you can only be accepted as a positive person."

There’s a big difference , you can be low, down , negative even, when its authentic its attractive but attention seeking is ugly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the nature of the forums quite often involves banter, sarcasm, piss takes and general messing about for a laugh. So a serious thread about someone feeling down or vunerable will get that kind of response at times, and not be taken seriously or just plain avoided as people will post on brighter threads.

The result of that is a vunerable or down person doesn't get as much attention or support.

Others just won't feel equipped to post anything helpful or worry they'll be seen as weaker themselves for taking on someone else's problems or pandering to it.

So the forums aren't the best place for it no.

Though in saying that I've seen plenty of people be supportive on here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"If you're down as in having a bad day or got the blues I think the Forum can be a good place to connect and let off steam, especially if you have limited real world contact at this time.

Not judging how anyone uses Fab, btw, just my own thoughts."

Perfectly put. I also think that to a certain degree and in some circumstances, it's not quite fair for others to feel/deal with the negative emotions you're going through - ie when you're lashing out, destructive etc. I will always try and offer support to people but there comes a point where it becomes detrimental to one's own mental health/state of mind.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there an issue or taboo on here with being vulnerable, feeling down or looking for a degree of affirmation?

I recognise that confidence is seen as being a positive trait but if a person loses that confidence for whatever reason, is that then seen as negative?

If a person is down, should they not be on here?

Do only certain people receive attention if they need support?

Thoughts folks

I didn’t need to post on here when I felt low about it. But I did post a thread asking guys to just talk. And girls too!

But the support and messages I received helped me and lifted me so much.

Sorry for the typos

I am very thankful to one in particular, but there was 5/6 people who messaged me directly to offer a friendly ear.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

It’s all well and good folk using Fab as a place to let off steam emotionally, vent, boost confidence, seek a boost to their mood or whatever, until their negative actions (because a negative action is usually inevitable) impact other innocent Fab users.

Then I think they have a responsibility to themself (and to others) to step away, reflect and give themself the space they need before they cause hurt, upset, whatever, to others who really haven’t warranted it.

I’m all for being supportive, but I’m not on here to be someone’s emotional punchbag.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's probably a difference between self esteem issues and those who are struggling mentally.

People who have low self-esteem, personally I don't think this is the right site for them to be on. It's even more damaging to be faced with images of others, rejection and a feeling of not belonging. In that case take a step back until you know your own worth.

People who are struggling absolutely reach out in anyway you can. Now the world's gone even more virtual, it might be the only connection someone has. It's a sign of being a real human being and we can't all be happy all the time. I'm happy to help anyone who needs it on here as the community part of fab isn't just about sex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

In my opinion the taboo nature is based on an impression that desperation, depression, sadness or other situations where people feel down are not “attractive traits” and can be viewed as a weakness, and as this place is meant to be a “sex site” people feel a need to either hide or put on a facade so they can be perceived as desirable/attractive.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Personally I keep the most things off the forum as I've been on here long enough to know that it's all a facade..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"This is something that's made me feel very sad in the past.

I've not picked up on it here, on the contrary, but elsewhere on social media and dating platforms it often feels like you can only be accepted as a positive person.

There’s a big difference , you can be low, down , negative even, when its authentic its attractive but attention seeking is ugly "

How do you define the difference, especially via a text based format?

Dismissing a person as attention seeking is a personal judgement call and not everyone reacts in predictable ways to negative issues.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onb21Woman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"There’s a big difference , you can be low, down , negative even, when its authentic its attractive but attention seeking is ugly "

I can't see the difference you are perceiving.

I just don't have the psychoanalytical skills and background information on a person to know what they've been through and what motivates them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my opinion the taboo nature is based on an impression that desperation, depression, sadness or other situations where people feel down are not “attractive traits” and can be viewed as a weakness, and as this place is meant to be a “sex site” people feel a need to either hide or put on a facade so they can be perceived as desirable/attractive.

I agree with you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is something that's made me feel very sad in the past.

I've not picked up on it here, on the contrary, but elsewhere on social media and dating platforms it often feels like you can only be accepted as a positive person.

There’s a big difference , you can be low, down , negative even, when its authentic its attractive but attention seeking is ugly

How do you define the difference, especially via a text based format?

Dismissing a person as attention seeking is a personal judgement call and not everyone reacts in predictable ways to negative issues. "

And most often, ‘Attention seeking’ as it’s called, comes from a place of low self esteem/low confidence or feeling vulnerable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that it's hard to read cold hard text, we create our own beleif on how something is said, the tone emphasis, which could be different to the way the poster is saying it.

I think being open and authentic in forum could be the first steps for someone to be anle to be this way in real life.

There is shame in mental ill health but I will add the shame often comes from within the individual.

I shall use myself as an example here...I burnt out a few years ago that then triggered a number of things for me. I feel shame that I wasn't strong enough, that the life I once had has been absent, I lost who I am. My sense of self worth and identity in a society which heavily places this on your career and earning capicity.

It has been harder for me to accept this. In addition I cringe when asked what I do, trust me I dont do nothing I am exploreing both myself and avenues of interest. What is it and who am I now.

That being said I was fortunate enough to have savings to support this. However it is assumed that if I am not in employment then I am on benefits, that I contribute nothing to society. It's a fairly standard q re work, but I question the relevance, we ask this question to guage a person, thier earning and educational capacity, whether they will financially match you.

To say I am not in standardised employment is hard.

But it is ok to say you have had glitches in life and your exploring that, that sometimes your not ok, but in reality it is also hard to admit that to yourself. To feel secure and confident, real to say so.

On a forum you can start to test those waters, you are invisible but you can practice saying the words, accepting yourself when you see others are cool with it.

However...

That holds a degree of self awareness amd emotional intelligence. Sometimes the posts are for further understanding of self.

There are others who are in that cycle, that talk of change, which is hard! But that's all it is talk.

I find if the same person is saying the same thing without and growth, acceptance of feedback good or bad, talking in an echo chamber, that's an unfortunate victim mentality they are stuck. I ask why.

Theres something called the knapman drama triangle,victim persecutor rescuer. we all do it both conscioulsy and subconsciously. Its being aware of yourself and where you are within this.

Those who frequently post to ellicit their needs being met...some will respond, some will see the pattern and walk away silently.

Here we see...persecutor...you do this! ...rescuer...I'll help you...

We all do and it serves our needs at times to take on those roles.

Just some fat to chew over... must dash I'm late for therapy writing this!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve gone through highs and lows on here, and I’m lucky, I’ve got some really wonderful and supportive friends, who’ve been there when I’ve needed them.

Looking for validation/affirmation is very looked down on, it’s considered the lowest of the low to want fabs on your pics. I’ve admitted that I like having my pictures fabbed, not because I need the fabs, but because I like them, but it rarely goes down well if you admit that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Each to their own, and I guess it's down to people as individuals to determine what they feel helps them. Personally, there are very few people that I would discuss such personal matters with, but that's how I deal with things.

I don't see it as negative, but I simply cannot comprehend the level of external affirmation that some people on here appear to need (that's my perceived understanding of their behaviour, which perhaps differs from their individual intentions).

I have in the past seen threads that have almost turned into bragging competitions about how many diagnoses and different medications people have...again personally, I don't think that's healthy, but that's from my perspective. If people use it to reach out and help each other then it can't be that bad a thing, right?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"This is something that's made me feel very sad in the past.

I've not picked up on it here, on the contrary, but elsewhere on social media and dating platforms it often feels like you can only be accepted as a positive person.

There’s a big difference , you can be low, down , negative even, when its authentic its attractive but attention seeking is ugly

How do you define the difference, especially via a text based format?

Dismissing a person as attention seeking is a personal judgement call and not everyone reacts in predictable ways to negative issues.

And most often, ‘Attention seeking’ as it’s called, comes from a place of low self esteem/low confidence or feeling vulnerable.

I think that it’s a fine line and a personal judgement call as to what is deemed acceptable in regards to attention seeking.

It’s my belief that we’re all here for attention of some sort, posting pictures or commenting on threads is just part of that. How do we decide what is good or bad attention seeking?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I think that it's hard to read cold hard text, we create our own beleif on how something is said, the tone emphasis, which could be different to the way the poster is saying it.

I think being open and authentic in forum could be the first steps for someone to be anle to be this way in real life.

There is shame in mental ill health but I will add the shame often comes from within the individual.

It has been harder for me to accept this. In addition I cringe when asked what I do, trust me I dont do nothing I am exploreing both myself and avenues of interest. What is it and who am I now.

To say I am not in standardised employment is hard.

On a forum you can start to test those waters, you are invisible but you can practice saying the words, accepting yourself when you see others are cool with it.

However...

That holds a degree of self awareness amd emotional intelligence. Sometimes the posts are for further understanding of self.

There are others who are in that cycle, that talk of change, which is hard! But that's all it is talk.

Theres something called the knapman drama triangle,victim persecutor rescuer. we all do it both conscioulsy and subconsciously. Its being aware of yourself and where you are within this.

Those who frequently post to ellicit their needs being met...some will respond, some will see the pattern and walk away silently.

Here we see...persecutor...you do this! ...rescuer...I'll help you...

We all do and it serves our needs at times to take on those roles.

Just some fat to chew over... must dash I'm late for therapy writing this!

Thank you for this, I’ll have a look at what you’ve written as further reading. Interesting!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Each to their own, and I guess it's down to people as individuals to determine what they feel helps them. Personally, there are very few people that I would discuss such personal matters with, but that's how I deal with things.

This is how I feel pretty much, I don’t tend to comment on those threads, not because I don’t care but I’m not great with what to say, especially as I don’t know them. Everyone’s different and if people get support and comfort from them then it’s great. I personally wouldn’t bring my problems and issues to fab but then again I probably wouldn’t even take them to a friend. I think people should realise though that just because people don’t choose to make public their problems it doesn’t mean life is all roses and nobody really knows what goes on in peoples lives x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Reading these responses has surprised me somewhat.

I wonder as well, whether a person who exhibits ‘needs’ is value judged by others as to whether they’re worthy of help?

If an unknown single male profile asks for help, would they receive support vs an attractive woman?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I'm pretty much an open book on here, where I'm not outside of it. So I've been pretty open about my ruptured ectopic pregnancy last year and abuse I've suffered in my past. And there will always be soneone who comments people will take advantage of you if you show vulnerability.

That's not how I personally see it, I get to share and have advice from people on here anonymously so actual real life people can't take advantage.

And yes I have body confidence issues, posting pictures makes me feel better. If that bothers people that need not look.

This isn't to say this works for anyone else but me. But I don't see why some feel the need to say I'm doing something wrong, when it clearly works well for me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I believe that all talking about mental health is good. However, this place may sometimes be a great place of support. But it’s certainly not the place to look for an answer.

It’s good to chew the fat about experience and sharing things that make us feel like we are not alone, not going mad, not a weirdo.. but if this is the only or main source of letting it out it can be pretty dangerous.

People who are extremely vulnerable may not always get the support that they need and a flippant comment can be very damaging. There are also some rather horrid creatures that will latch on to vulnerable people then use their experience against them.

I have to avoid many threads for my own mental health. I’ll happily speak about my past experience but won’t be sharing anything that’s not resolved in my own mind for my own sanity.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I think this site is very difficult when i am feeling down for a prolonged period but that is up to the individual to decide whether to stay or go.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"Reading these responses has surprised me somewhat.

I wonder as well, whether a person who exhibits ‘needs’ is value judged by others as to whether they’re worthy of help?

If an unknown single male profile asks for help, would they receive support vs an attractive woman?

Of course they are.

Haven’t there been studies about how attractive/popular people get more help or attention than us gargoyles?

You also have builtin cultural/sexual bias where women are seen as “needing” more protection/help than men.

It sucks, but just remember everyone has their own agenda, they just don’t always make it clear.

Mr Nice Guy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of the support I've seen on here in the past has been amazing especially during lockdown, there seemed to be a real sense of community and people checking in on eachother. I think it's great if people can get support/ knowledge from others on here.

On the flip side to that this place can be detrimental.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

This site can be brutal if you are feeling down, lonely. The constant rejections can quickly destroy any self esteem you might have left.

That said the forum will provide positive and helpful advice but only if you are prepared to listen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Reading these responses has surprised me somewhat.

I wonder as well, whether a person who exhibits ‘needs’ is value judged by others as to whether they’re worthy of help?

If an unknown single male profile asks for help, would they receive support vs an attractive woman?

It depends on the unknown single male, his attractiveness, how he presents and his age.

I see glaring instances of some people being given so much slack I'm amazed there's not enough rope to hang us all while others with similar issues are dismissed out of hand for one post.

It's life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Reading these responses has surprised me somewhat.

I wonder as well, whether a person who exhibits ‘needs’ is value judged by others as to whether they’re worthy of help?

If an unknown single male profile asks for help, would they receive support vs an attractive woman?

Of course they are.

Haven’t there been studies about how attractive/popular people get more help or attention than us gargoyles?

You also have builtin cultural/sexual bias where women are seen as “needing” more protection/help than men.

It sucks, but just remember everyone has their own agenda, they just don’t always make it clear.

Mr Nice Guy"

I agree

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbarianzCouple
over a year ago

BARNSTAPLE

I mean, you do you! but I'd wager if you relying on strangers opinions to validate your own self worth you may have bigger things to think about my dude!

You're a fucking titan. You're a straight fucking gangster. do you have any idea how much ass our forefathers kicked for us to be standing at the top of this pile? damn skippy you can hold your head tall. its 2021 and you're here as a fella being open about shit on your mind, there is nothing, and I mean nothing more manly than that. and ill dropkick anyone that disagrees.

keep your head up bud. can't rain all the time!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arbarianzCouple
over a year ago

BARNSTAPLE

"Reading these responses has surprised me somewhat.

I wonder as well, whether a person who exhibits ‘needs’ is value judged by others as to whether they’re worthy of help?

If an unknown single male profile asks for help, would they receive support vs an attractive woman?

Of course they are.

Haven’t there been studies about how attractive/popular people get more help or attention than us gargoyles?

You also have builtin cultural/sexual bias where women are seen as “needing” more protection/help than men.

It sucks, but just remember everyone has their own agenda, they just don’t always make it clear.

Mr Nice Guy

I agree"

There hasn't been hardly ANY studies done on mental health issues affecting males. it's a fucking travesty. across 3 libraries including a medical one, and a university one. there was 3 books on male mental health. over 100 on MH in general, and over 40 on women specifically.

Men have been totally left behind in the last 10 years mentally, and brothers like the OP here need to be built up!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"Reading these responses has surprised me somewhat.

I wonder as well, whether a person who exhibits ‘needs’ is value judged by others as to whether they’re worthy of help?

If an unknown single male profile asks for help, would they receive support vs an attractive woman?

Of course they are.

Haven’t there been studies about how attractive/popular people get more help or attention than us gargoyles?

You also have builtin cultural/sexual bias where women are seen as “needing” more protection/help than men.

It sucks, but just remember everyone has their own agenda, they just don’t always make it clear.

Mr Nice Guy

I agree

Men have been totally left behind in the last 10 years mentally, and brothers like the OP here need to be built up! "

That's insane when men too often take a fatal way out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that it's hard to read cold hard text, we create our own beleif on how something is said, the tone emphasis, which could be different to the way the poster is saying it.

I think being open and authentic in forum could be the first steps for someone to be anle to be this way in real life.

There is shame in mental ill health but I will add the shame often comes from within the individual.

It has been harder for me to accept this. In addition I cringe when asked what I do, trust me I dont do nothing I am exploreing both myself and avenues of interest. What is it and who am I now.

To say I am not in standardised employment is hard.

On a forum you can start to test those waters, you are invisible but you can practice saying the words, accepting yourself when you see others are cool with it.

However...

That holds a degree of self awareness amd emotional intelligence. Sometimes the posts are for further understanding of self.

There are others who are in that cycle, that talk of change, which is hard! But that's all it is talk.

Theres something called the knapman drama triangle,victim persecutor rescuer. we all do it both conscioulsy and subconsciously. Its being aware of yourself and where you are within this.

Those who frequently post to ellicit their needs being met...some will respond, some will see the pattern and walk away silently.

Here we see...persecutor...you do this! ...rescuer...I'll help you...

We all do and it serves our needs at times to take on those roles.

Just some fat to chew over... must dash I'm late for therapy writing this!

Thank you for this, I’ll have a look at what you’ve written as further reading. Interesting! "

Thanks, I streamed and didn't realise it was so lengthly!

Then I questioned whether I should have been so candid! Haha!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

I have much sympathy for anyone that is feeling down for whatever the reason. Yes some folk will receive more comfort than others when seeking solace. The constant threads and attention seeking by some members is a worry. It’s quite plain to see they have mental health problems that need addressing. A sex site isn’t the place to get help with that and for the most part will probably make matters worse. Unfortunately no one has the balls to be straight with them which is understandable speaking from experience. Poor mental health is a horrible thing and the NHS hasn’t got the resources to deal with the huge problem we have. That’s why it spills over to the forum and other social media etc, it’s very sad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Every person is as entitled to be here as the next regardless of who they are or their level of vulnerability - and to an extent I think the key lies in how they personally deal with that.

I've seen some wonderfully supportive threads in my time here, I've also seen some pretty vile treatment of people who have aired their issues and then there are those users who mention their vulnerabilities so often, and in such a way as to invite sympathy, that you can't help but wonder if they are manipulating their vulnerabilities to garner attention - now of course that's a judgement call to be made by other users but it's sometimes very apparent what the motivation is.

Now I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing, but as others have said it can be a potentially dangerous one, and a short term fix at best.

Lacking confidence I don't necessarily see as a bad thing, it's more how you deal with it that is important - you won't gain confidence from use of the site alone, and in fact in some instances use of the site can batter your confidence further.

In any respect, as I said, anyone has every right to be here, but stepping away at times may be a better option than seeking a "fix" from the site, but that's a very individual thing that we each have to decide for ourselves.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're down as in having a bad day or got the blues I think the Forum can be a good place to connect and let off steam, especially if you have limited real world contact at this time.

I wouldn't say Fab was detrimental to my mental health (and over the last day or so it has perked me up) and, at the moment, outside of family the forum is my only social contact.

My highs and lows are not particularly created by anything external. When I'm high I get addicted to Fab and use it too much. When I'm low I'm not particularly interested in it. Somewhere I need to find that 'happy' medium.

I will talk about my own mental health problems as I think even on a 'sex site' these issues should be talked about and there are some things which have happened due to my mental health which I'm not comfortable talking to family about.

I found Fab because of my mental health issues and I feel there are quite a few on here with issues whether they realise it or not.

And yes I do get a boost in self-esteem and confidence on the forum and would like to be able to translate that into real world interactions. But, at the moment, I'm happy with using the forum and making virtual connections through PMs. I may need to take things at a snail's pace but it's a start staying on the forum even when I'm not feeling 'fab'.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do enjoy logging on here BUT l take everything here with a bucket of salt ,if a person isnt in the right frame of mind for a joint like this it can totally destroy their self confidence between no replies .. deleted messages .. being blocked , age filters .. being rejected .. posting on forums being critised ..whatever..so anyone feeling in a low place mentally this joint may not be the best place BUT there are some brilliant beautiful people here that will always have the kind and supportive word and feel good factor in chatting to them....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread