FabSwingers.com forum: Help ! Bad advice needed

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So today three people have given me excellent advice and I’m tired of doing the right thing.

Help me break bad for a change with the best of your worst advice.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Send out 300 FAF's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always trust a fart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Send a message with a d pic saying ur in the area with 5 minutes to spare

Eat yellow snow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should definitely drop some mentos into a bottle of Diet Co*e. That’s good advice right there

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By *candiumWoman
over a year ago

oban

Tell a meet how you actually feel about them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell your next date she’s got hairy shin… always be helpful

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By *oucankeepyoursocksonMan
over a year ago

Here n there

Send cock pics and tell everyone your a heavy cummer that need your balls draining

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Post a face pic, full name and address on your profile

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is all terrible advice, and very funny, more please !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Trust them

Ouch.

Yes, that hurts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You should definitely drop some mentos into a bottle of Diet Co*e. That’s good advice right there "

This one I’m actually thinking of doing

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Jump leads on your dick is good for your sexual health

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't be afraid to shit in your pants every once in a while.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Always trust a fart. "

I might follow through on that advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jump leads on your dick is good for your sexual health "

Which end does the red lead go on and which the black ? Asking for an enemy.

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By *ssexPolyGentMan
over a year ago

southend

Find a random woman and ask her for a social then whilst on said social tell her that you have fallen deeply in love with her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't be afraid to shit in your pants every once in a while.

Following on my gallbladder thread we need to normalise shitting your pants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jump leads on your dick is good for your sexual health "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't be afraid to shit in your pants every once in a while.

With friends like you, who needs enemas ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you oversell the percentage of a show with the worst lead actor ..worst script and worst director you can make a fortune when it flops

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By *ssexPolyGentMan
over a year ago

southend

"Jump leads on your dick is good for your sexual health

Which end does the red lead go on and which the black ? Asking for an enemy. "
red on the right black on the left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't be afraid to shit in your pants every once in a while.

Following on my gallbladder thread we need to normalise shitting your pants

I'm all for normalising it!!

I think we have all been there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't be afraid to shit in your pants every once in a while.

With friends like you, who needs enemas ?

That's the spirit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should definitely drop some mentos into a bottle of Diet Co*e. That’s good advice right there

This one I’m actually thinking of doing

It’s fun, but stand back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sticking a pencil up your Japs eye is sound advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fed up with boiling water? Boil loads and then freeze it ready for later use?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't be afraid to shit in your pants every once in a while.

He said bad advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Jump leads on your dick is good for your sexual health

Which end does the red lead go on and which the black ? Asking for an enemy. red on the right black on the left

Thanks poly, I tried it the other way and one of my bollocks inflated like a beach ball

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.’ Is terrible terrible advice, if anything keep your enemies in a different country, that way you can chill till they get in the country again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wash your dick with bleach

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

Advice.......

Take a picture of your erect cock. Take it into work and enlarge it ( no insult intended ) then photocopy about 1 - 2 hundred of them.

Go to the pub and ask everyone to help. Give them your pic and a blob of blue tack.

Ask them if they would - when on their way home - blue tack your cock to a lampost , chippy noticeboard, bus stop ,tree etc..... complete with your phone number and a message saying .... 'it could be you' .....

oil up n wait.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you oversell the percentage of a show with the worst lead actor ..worst script and worst director you can make a fortune when it flops

Will you be the Bialystock to my Blooms ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Need to find out what the time is, simply go down to Argos and buy a cheap watch, then hey presto, there on the receipt will be the time.

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By *superfuse663Man
over a year ago

manchester

Walk into a pub dressed as Hitler and tell random people it wouldn't be 2-0 on my watch

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Advice.......

Take a picture of your erect cock. Take it into work and enlarge it ( no insult intended ) then photocopy about 1 - 2 hundred of them.

Go to the pub and ask everyone to help. Give them your pic and a blob of blue tack.

oil up n wait."

So like those ‘Lost Pussy’ posters but for cock ? Shall I include a rewards for the finder ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wash your dick with bleach

My local public swimming pool adds so much chlorine I wear rubber trunks and a condom to avoid just this outcome.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Need to find out what the time is, simply go down to Argos and buy a cheap watch, then hey presto, there on the receipt will be the time. "

You and your good advice again. Also if they display it with 12hr clock timing it will be right at least twice a day.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Walk into a pub dressed as Hitler and tell random people it wouldn't be 2-0 on my watch"

No one rocks that little moustache anymore do they ? Time for a revival perhaps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Call up a feminist group and ask to speak with the man in charge...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

"Call up a feminist group and ask to speak with the man in charge...

Sweetness.... you cutie ......

Many right minded men are feminists.... so it's not far fetched that a man would be in charge of the group ( well in charge of answering the phone at least )

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Call up a feminist group and ask to speak with the man in charge...

Sweetness.... you cutie ......

Many right minded men are feminists.... so it's not far fetched that a man would be in charge of the group ( well in charge of answering the phone at least ) "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Send out 300 FAF's"

I don’t have that many fucks to give, AC !

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Kiss my bum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell someone what you want to do for them and ask if that will do for starters?

Then they can reply with fluttery eyelashes while their gussets moisten!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Kiss my bum"

I want pain, not pleasure Yaz

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Kiss my bum

I want pain, not pleasure Yaz

x"
oh ok I can knee you in the balls with my fuck me boots on xxx

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By *ecrets4everCouple
over a year ago

Actual advice on the presumption it’s heart/cock related;

Don’t chase someone who doesn’t want to be caught. It’ll lead to heartache……

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tell someone what you want to do for them and ask if that will do for starters?

Then they can reply with fluttery eyelashes while their gussets moisten!

I do that regularly and it can’t be bad advice as I’ve only been blocked 27 times and banned twice !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Kiss my bum

I want pain, not pleasure Yaz

x oh ok I can knee you in the balls with my fuck me boots on xxx

Pleasure and pain together, my favourite

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Actual advice on the presumption it’s heart/cock related;

Don’t chase someone who doesn’t want to be caught. It’ll lead to heartache……"

This is very good advice that took me years to learn.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Kiss my bum

I want pain, not pleasure Yaz

x oh ok I can knee you in the balls with my fuck me boots on xxx

Pleasure and pain together, my favourite

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

Answer every question you recieve with the answer potatoes? Or 42..

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Reply to everyone and accuse them of being in the forum clique.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give up your money, sell your house, devote your life to Scientology

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Give me your pin number

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By *ssexPolyGentMan
over a year ago

southend

"Jump leads on your dick is good for your sexual health

Which end does the red lead go on and which the black ? Asking for an enemy. red on the right black on the left

Thanks poly, I tried it the other way and one of my bollocks inflated like a beach ball

Did you not find the little + and - just at the base of your sack?

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By *ightmovesTV/TS
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Fed up with boiling water? Boil loads and then freeze it ready for later use? "

Lol.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

If you have a bad headache try standing on Lego to take your mind off it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Check to see if a wire still has electricity in it by putting the bare end on your tongue

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"So today three people have given me excellent advice and I’m tired of doing the right thing.

Help me break bad for a change with the best of your worst advice.

Iron your foreskin...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Send cock pics and tell everyone your a heavy cummer that need your balls draining

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask the forum for advice.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Tonbridge

When you get onto a tube train in London it is customary to shake hands with everybody in the carriage.

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

nottingham

You know that yellow snow?

You should definitely eat it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Give up your money, sell your house, devote your life to Scientology

You and Tom Cruise, separates at birth

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So today three people have given me excellent advice and I’m tired of doing the right thing.

Help me break bad for a change with the best of your worst advice.

Iron your foreskin... "

Ffs, I tried this one but forgot I was circumcised

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Give me your pin number

6969

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"So today three people have given me excellent advice and I’m tired of doing the right thing.

Help me break bad for a change with the best of your worst advice.

Iron your foreskin...

Ffs, I tried this one but forgot I was circumcised

Ouchie, sorry.

Now I feel bad.

Revised advice:

Repeat idea with scrotum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put your dick in a blender.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Reply to everyone and accuse them of being in the forum clique."

You’re in the clique, but still unique

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So today three people have given me excellent advice and I’m tired of doing the right thing.

Help me break bad for a change with the best of your worst advice.

Iron your foreskin...

Ffs, I tried this one but forgot I was circumcised

Ouchie, sorry.

Now I feel bad.

Revised advice:

Repeat idea with scrotum? "

Yes, it is very wrinkly so here goes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ask the forum for advice. "

Thread closed !

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"So today three people have given me excellent advice and I’m tired of doing the right thing.

Help me break bad for a change with the best of your worst advice.

Iron your foreskin...

Ffs, I tried this one but forgot I was circumcised

Ouchie, sorry.

Now I feel bad.

Revised advice:

Repeat idea with scrotum?

Yes, it is very wrinkly so here goes.

Holds breath in anticipation..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Answer every question you recieve with the answer potatoes? Or 42.. "

42 Potatoes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So today three people have given me excellent advice and I’m tired of doing the right thing.

Help me break bad for a change with the best of your worst advice.

Iron your foreskin...

Ffs, I tried this one but forgot I was circumcised

Ouchie, sorry.

Now I feel bad.

Revised advice:

Repeat idea with scrotum?

Yes, it is very wrinkly so here goes.

Holds breath in anticipation..

I set the iron for ‘sensitive fabrics’ and now my scrotum is as smooth as a babe’s buttocks ! Thank you, as soon as I’m discharged from a & e I’ll send you photos

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When you get onto a tube train in London it is customary to shake hands with everybody in the carriage. "

And they say Londoners aren’t friendly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So today three people have given me excellent advice and I’m tired of doing the right thing.

Help me break bad for a change with the best of your worst advice.

Iron your foreskin...

Ffs, I tried this one but forgot I was circumcised

Ouchie, sorry.

Now I feel bad.

Revised advice:

Repeat idea with scrotum?

Yes, it is very wrinkly so here goes.

Holds breath in anticipation..

I set the iron for ‘sensitive fabrics’ and now my scrotum is as smooth as a babe’s buttocks ! Thank you, as soon as I’m discharged from a & e I’ll send you photos

I'm waiting in anticipation

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

My bad advice to you is to tell your mum you never liked her cooking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave 1 piece of chocolate ..

Put the toilet seat down once you finished

Phones the traffic 'cones hotline', ones off the motorway and ask for a 99

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My bad advice to you is to tell your mum you never liked her cooking."

Actually my Mum is a terrible cook and happy to admit it ! Strangely me and my sisters are all pretty good so not in the genes.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"So today three people have given me excellent advice and I’m tired of doing the right thing.

Help me break bad for a change with the best of your worst advice.

Iron your foreskin...

Ffs, I tried this one but forgot I was circumcised

Ouchie, sorry.

Now I feel bad.

Revised advice:

Repeat idea with scrotum?

Yes, it is very wrinkly so here goes.

Holds breath in anticipation..

I set the iron for ‘sensitive fabrics’ and now my scrotum is as smooth as a babe’s buttocks ! Thank you, as soon as I’m discharged from a & e I’ll send you photos

Result!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Put your dick in a blender."

No one needs that smoothie

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By *rMojoRisinMan
over a year ago

nottingham

"When you get onto a tube train in London it is customary to shake hands with everybody in the carriage.

And they say Londoners aren’t friendly

We’re not, fuck off!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When you get onto a tube train in London it is customary to shake hands with everybody in the carriage.

And they say Londoners aren’t friendly

We’re not, fuck off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont check the use by dates on condoms- its more of a guide anyway!

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By *heikh YerboutiMan
over a year ago

Schlongolia

Adopt a dwarf with a low IQ and don’t let anyone tell you it’s not big and it’s not clever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Live and let live, stick it in her bareback

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should definitely drop some mentos into a bottle of Diet Co*e. That’s good advice right there "

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Follow the lemmings.

Don't be individual.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dont check the use by dates on condoms- its more of a guide anyway!"

They have use by dates ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Live and let live, stick it in her bareback

It’s too hot for a jacket today anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Adopt a dwarf with a low IQ and don’t let anyone tell you it’s not big and it’s not clever "

Is his name Dopey ?

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By *issAphroditeWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

[Removed by poster at 01/07/21 08:25:29]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For the best sexual release piss on an electric fence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People in the park do want to be flashed at

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always carry spare lightbulbs in your back pocket ????

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By *reeneggsandsamMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

Drink to much and sext your exes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Always carry spare lightbulbs in your back pocket ????"

A lightbulb moment

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Phones the traffic 'cones hotline', ones off the motorway and ask for a 99

99 problems but cones ain't one

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By *ightmovesTV/TS
over a year ago

Ipswich

Introduce your penis to a mouse trap.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Introduce your penis to a mouse trap. "

Smegma?

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By *ightmovesTV/TS
over a year ago

Ipswich

Eat a LOT of laxatives.

But warn everyone in the room.

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