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"In this situation I always tell myself to keep my chins up… Seriously though; weight, body shape etc… is all very subjective. The only thing you should be concerned with is health, both mental and physical. We are all built differently. " "We are currently not meeting due to MrsMk no longer wanting to. I am leaving our profile live as I enjoy chatting with everyone end hearing all the dirty things you want to do to my wife. Good luck and happy swinging" I do understand your body image issues man, and your desire to be sexual, but there's something about this and the stuff you've left live below it that screams non-consensual. | |||
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"Genuine questions... How big are you? Weight wise / waist size I want to comment, but I also want to gauge how much of this is physical and how much of it is mental" Currently 207KG I actually do not know how large my waist is I need to get it measured again. I have been under the hospital however the pandemic stopped the face to face meetings | |||
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"Genuine questions... How big are you? Weight wise / waist size I want to comment, but I also want to gauge how much of this is physical and how much of it is mental Currently 207KG I actually do not know how large my waist is I need to get it measured again. I have been under the hospital however the pandemic stopped the face to face meetings" Good luck with the weight loss my friend, hopefully the face to face meets will happen soon. At my heaviest a few years back now I was obese at 21st, a Doctor gave me the kick up the arse to shock me with a few home truths into losing quite a lot but I know it’s not easy. But it CAN be done with a lot of willpower. In terms of your question, it does seem like obese women are fetishised a lot more than obese men on here and will be much more in demand but I’m sure there are some out there that will be a match. Good luck in the search! | |||
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"So as an Obese man i often struggle with self esteem and self worth, my size has ballooned over the last couple of years and I now have such a negative self image I refrain from sex other than oral or mutual masturbation as I fear if I fell I would hurt my partner. are there other guys on here who feel the same? are there women on here or Bi Guys who are attracted to larger then large men? i am working on my size with the drs and hospitals I was just curious to see if there are others like me on here." I totally get what your saying....I only have face pics because I cant show my body...probably wont meet anyone because I wouldn't want to disappoint them....but I still enjoy fab...you ever need to chat my filters are always down x | |||
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"Genuine questions... How big are you? Weight wise / waist size I want to comment, but I also want to gauge how much of this is physical and how much of it is mental Currently 207KG I actually do not know how large my waist is I need to get it measured again. I have been under the hospital however the pandemic stopped the face to face meetings" 207kg is 32 stones+ From the pics I can see, you are nowhere near that size Do you mean 207lbs, which is knocking 15 stones? For a guy that is 5ft8, I would say that matches the body I can see in one pic | |||
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"Eat some pineapple - it's a fruit that lifts your mood. Kiwi fruit (hairless are best), are also packed with vitamins that honestly get you perked up. Cut things in moderation rather than several things in one go as these changes usually stick, though if you feel it's time for a drastic change cut as many sugars and brown high carby foods as you possibly can. Try swim walking. Depth only needs to be around waist/lower chest. It's low resistance and raises your heart rate which is what you need. It burns fat no end. Start with two days a week, then three building to daily. " I'm sorry that some people have chosen to give you unsolicited dietary advice. As someone who's spent a year in treatment for an eating disorder it's this kind of behaviour that can perpetuate feelings of self loathing or low self esteem. It might be worth noting that exercise and diets can be downright dangerous to someone with an eating disorder, not that I assume OP has one as weight/size is not an indicator either way. I'm a big girl and have had an awful lot of therapy around self esteem. It's still a journey and I often feel similar to you. Not feeling worthy of sex due to my size. You are absolutely worthy and there will always be people who are sexually attracted to you just as you are, no need to change. Working on your self esteem could be the key to living a more authentic life both inside and outside the bedroom. There is help out there for it too. Good luck op! | |||
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"Genuine questions... How big are you? Weight wise / waist size I want to comment, but I also want to gauge how much of this is physical and how much of it is mental" I’ve never seen someone ask this on a thread where a lady has said she feels low because of her weight. Usually every post just tells her she’s beautiful regardless of her size. | |||
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"So as an Obese man i often struggle with self esteem and self worth, my size has ballooned over the last couple of years and I now have such a negative self image I refrain from sex other than oral or mutual masturbation as I fear if I fell I would hurt my partner. are there other guys on here who feel the same? are there women on here or Bi Guys who are attracted to larger then large men? i am working on my size with the drs and hospitals I was just curious to see if there are others like me on here." I think it's all about priorities, you say you're concerned about hurting her if you fell (fair enough) but you'd hurt her even more if you passed away through conditions linked to your weight. Work hard with the medical profession to get yourself to a healthy weight (it's going to take really immense mental and physical willpower) However you've got the great motivational goals of a, living longer and b, hot sex so it's win win Good luck | |||
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"Genuine questions... How big are you? Weight wise / waist size I want to comment, but I also want to gauge how much of this is physical and how much of it is mental I’ve never seen someone ask this on a thread where a lady has said she feels low because of her weight. Usually every post just tells her she’s beautiful regardless of her size. " I was thinking the same myself! The OP didn't ask for a weight assessment.   | |||
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"Genuine questions... How big are you? Weight wise / waist size I want to comment, but I also want to gauge how much of this is physical and how much of it is mental I’ve never seen someone ask this on a thread where a lady has said she feels low because of her weight. Usually every post just tells her she’s beautiful regardless of her size. I was thinking the same myself! The OP didn't ask for a weight assessment. "I realise how the wording of his questions has come across badly, but if you knew Bussy, he wouldn't be hurtful to anybody. He was asking for clarification to give more constructive advice. | |||
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"I’ve been with two particularly large men over the years and to be honest their size was never an issue to me. I was just attracted to them. They were both very energetic lovers, and just enjoyed themselves sexually, and that was very sexy to me. They might have had hang ups but they left them at the bedroom door (it seemed to me). Or maybe because I’m a big lass they didn’t feel so self conscious or that they’d squish me? If someone has got themselves into bed with you then clearly they find you hot, remember that. Just try to relax and enjoy the moment. " this! And it comes from a hot woman!!  | |||
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"Genuine questions... How big are you? Weight wise / waist size I want to comment, but I also want to gauge how much of this is physical and how much of it is mental Currently 207KG I actually do not know how large my waist is I need to get it measured again. I have been under the hospital however the pandemic stopped the face to face meetings 207kg is 32 stones+ From the pics I can see, you are nowhere near that size Do you mean 207lbs, which is knocking 15 stones? For a guy that is 5ft8, I would say that matches the body I can see in one pic" I am. Unsure how to post a photo here but 207kg is correct I am. Over 32 stone. I wear it well in the photos I am around 25 stone | |||
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"Genuine questions... How big are you? Weight wise / waist size I want to comment, but I also want to gauge how much of this is physical and how much of it is mental I’ve never seen someone ask this on a thread where a lady has said she feels low because of her weight. Usually every post just tells her she’s beautiful regardless of her size. I was thinking the same myself! The OP didn't ask for a weight assessment.
I realise how the wording of his questions has come across badly, but if you knew Bussy, he wouldn't be hurtful to anybody. He was asking for clarification to give more constructive advice."Sure. Nobody's perfect. It's not a judgment of his character. We all have internalised fat phobia because it's inherent within our society. Regardless of their intention, it's not appropriate unless OP has requested this. | |||
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"I think it's just as important to figure out what's going on mentally as it is physically. From my own experience, I found if mentally you are struggling then physically you struggle as well. I have been both sides of the swing, I lost 6 stone in 6 months through extreme dieting and exercise 4x a week as well as doing BJJ and kickboxing , I felt good for a while. But mentally I was not as good as I looked physically. Started to gain weight again and because of this I started to self harm. I looked in the mirror and seen a failure, a failure in all aspects of my life, and the self harming became an everyday thing, nobody had any idea what was going on, they only seen the weight starting to come back. It's about finding that balance , and it really is tough. " The self harm I can identify with...I used to cut my stomach and chest because I would rather see scars then fat....anyone feeling like that please seek help... | |||
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"after being pretty overwieght in my late teens, i was really into the gym in my early 20’s was going 5-6 days a week, was spending an hour per machine (cross trainer, rowing machine etc) and managed to get down to 16stone (with a fair bit of of muscle) was at the doctors and he turned round and said i was obese and over weight due to the idiotic bmi, i slowed down and ended up never really getting back into it im now around 21 stone and after a back injury (torn ligaments) i struggle with going to the gym and as you can tell by couples profile i wont put pictures of me on here The problem we have is society is ran on the perfect image, perfect life, 2mins looking at instragram and you see guys with 6 packs, perfect 10 women all sitting round a pool in the while your at home waiting for it stop to get 5mins fresh air were sold a non existent dream, pushed towards 5 a day fruit and veg as a healthy option when its there solely to benefit the farmers market, pushed towards a bmi that takes no count of muscle mass End of the day, dont let society dictate what you should and shouldnt look like especially with your wife, let her decide whether your attractive or not and youll likely find she will and have the added bonus that she cant break her toys
J"Good point but you dont need to look at Instagram to see abs plenty on here lol | |||
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"I think it's just as important to figure out what's going on mentally as it is physically. From my own experience, I found if mentally you are struggling then physically you struggle as well. I have been both sides of the swing, I lost 6 stone in 6 months through extreme dieting and exercise 4x a week as well as doing BJJ and kickboxing , I felt good for a while. But mentally I was not as good as I looked physically. Started to gain weight again and because of this I started to self harm. I looked in the mirror and seen a failure, a failure in all aspects of my life, and the self harming became an everyday thing, nobody had any idea what was going on, they only seen the weight starting to come back. It's about finding that balance , and it really is tough. The self harm I can identify with...I used to cut my stomach and chest because I would rather see scars then fat....anyone feeling like that please seek help..." In the end for me it just became an addiction, I was addicted to cutting, like I have been addicted to sex,masturbation,gaming and and a little while alcohol, food, they all have one thing in common in that they release endorphins. This is why I avoid drugs and betting sites. | |||
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. I have sent you a private message as well.
I go through phases with how confident I feel with my looks. I’m the size of a hippo at the moment and it really did take a lot of effort to start meeting again.
Then I managed to loose a bit (I’m at the gym 4 or 5 times a week) and that was a huge boost. The difference in how I felt between sex a couple of months ago and more recently because there was less pressure on my body has been great.
I totally understand your fears in putting pressure on your partner, I have the same battle in my head and also knowing my own body weight and having to move it around.
Sounds like your ready to start battling it and please keep posting. We can all do with some support and to support you! | |||
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"Genuine questions... How big are you? Weight wise / waist size I want to comment, but I also want to gauge how much of this is physical and how much of it is mental I’ve never seen someone ask this on a thread where a lady has said she feels low because of her weight. Usually every post just tells her she’s beautiful regardless of her size. I was thinking the same myself! The OP didn't ask for a weight assessment.
I realise how the wording of his questions has come across badly, but if you knew Bussy, he wouldn't be hurtful to anybody. He was asking for clarification to give more constructive advice."Thank You It matters because of body dysmorphia Had the OP said he was 207lb, I would have said he was a big built bloke but that most of the weight issue was him carrying it mentally and feeling generally crap in himself Shifting a bit of extra timber isn't easy, but it is achievable without too much life adjustment However, at 207kg, the OP has a weight issue that many of us won't be able to associate with OP, I would suggest you seek some kind of intervention, it is likely to be both mental and psychological As for the views of people here on bigger blokes, I think they are kind of superfluous At 207kg you are what I would class as 'supersized' and those in that bracket are often only attractive to those that fetishise such bulk My inbox is always open if you want to chat in private
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From a personal perspective, I have always been on 'the heavy side' and even at my lowest adult weight, I was classed as 'obese'
At my highest weight of knocking 20 stones (a lot for a guy at 5ft6), I was morbidly obese
I have shifted 5-6 stones of that now, but in my head and when I look in the mirror I still see the 20 stone me not the 14 stone me
I have issues taking my clothes off with new bed partners and I will do anything I can to not have photos taken etc
I know, when I am being rational, that I am not that big, but at lower points I see myself much bigger than I am | |||
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"Genuine questions... How big are you? Weight wise / waist size I want to comment, but I also want to gauge how much of this is physical and how much of it is mental I’ve never seen someone ask this on a thread where a lady has said she feels low because of her weight. Usually every post just tells her she’s beautiful regardless of her size. I was thinking the same myself! The OP didn't ask for a weight assessment.
I realise how the wording of his questions has come across badly, but if you knew Bussy, he wouldn't be hurtful to anybody. He was asking for clarification to give more constructive advice.
Thank You
It matters because of body dysmorphia
Had the OP said he was 207lb, I would have said he was a big built bloke but that most of the weight issue was him carrying it mentally and feeling generally crap in himself
Shifting a bit of extra timber isn't easy, but it is achievable without too much life adjustment
However, at 207kg, the OP has a weight issue that many of us won't be able to associate with
OP, I would suggest you seek some kind of intervention, it is likely to be both mental and psychological
As for the views of people here on bigger blokes, I think they are kind of superfluous
At 207kg you are what I would class as 'supersized' and those in that bracket are often only attractive to those that fetishise such bulk
My inbox is always open if you want to chat in private
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From a personal perspective, I have always been on 'the heavy side' and even at my lowest adult weight, I was classed as 'obese'
At my highest weight of knocking 20 stones (a lot for a guy at 5ft6), I was morbidly obese
I have shifted 5-6 stones of that now, but in my head and when I look in the mirror I still see the 20 stone me not the 14 stone me
I have issues taking my clothes off with new bed partners and I will do anything I can to not have photos taken etc
I know, when I am being rational, that I am not that big, but at lower points I see myself much bigger than I am"Why are you telling him to lose weight!? He hasn't asked for that. Also, do you have a diagnosis of BDD or are you a qualified psychiatrist? Unless OP has told you of any diagnoses you are absolutely not able to make that assumption. I have a formal BDD diagnosis. Even if you were a qualified psych then it would be unprofessional in the extreme to diagnose people on the internet and possibly cause enough to be struck off. I appreciate you are probably wanting to help the OP but please stop. What you are doing is dangerous. Reference - 15+ years of working in mental health, alongside psychs and a lifetime experience of BDD | |||
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" Why are you telling him to lose weight!? He hasn't asked for that. " If you read his OP... he states he struggles with esteem/worth and his size has ballooned impacting him negatively - refraining from sex. He is working on his size with help .. are there any others. Apologies to the OP for dissecting his post - people are sharing thoughts and ideas as far as ways to help, there is really no right or wrong answer as people are gaining and responding to what little information is given. It isn't your thread to mod. | |||
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"The point of BBWs being very popular on here, whilst BHMs are treated oppositely. Why is that?" You also see threads about men who will fuck a BBW, but wouldn't date one / be seen out with one Not all attention is positive in its intent, even though it might appear so I think the reason I fucked literally tens (if not hundreds) of guys in my late 30's / early 40's was because it acted as a sticking plaster for feeling attractive - and I fucked guys cos I couldn't find many women that were interested in fucking me | |||
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"Genuine questions... How big are you? Weight wise / waist size I want to comment, but I also want to gauge how much of this is physical and how much of it is mental I’ve never seen someone ask this on a thread where a lady has said she feels low because of her weight. Usually every post just tells her she’s beautiful regardless of her size. I was thinking the same myself! The OP didn't ask for a weight assessment.
I realise how the wording of his questions has come across badly, but if you knew Bussy, he wouldn't be hurtful to anybody. He was asking for clarification to give more constructive advice.
Thank You
It matters because of body dysmorphia
Had the OP said he was 207lb, I would have said he was a big built bloke but that most of the weight issue was him carrying it mentally and feeling generally crap in himself
Shifting a bit of extra timber isn't easy, but it is achievable without too much life adjustment
However, at 207kg, the OP has a weight issue that many of us won't be able to associate with
OP, I would suggest you seek some kind of intervention, it is likely to be both mental and psychological
As for the views of people here on bigger blokes, I think they are kind of superfluous
At 207kg you are what I would class as 'supersized' and those in that bracket are often only attractive to those that fetishise such bulk
My inbox is always open if you want to chat in private
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From a personal perspective, I have always been on 'the heavy side' and even at my lowest adult weight, I was classed as 'obese'
At my highest weight of knocking 20 stones (a lot for a guy at 5ft6), I was morbidly obese
I have shifted 5-6 stones of that now, but in my head and when I look in the mirror I still see the 20 stone me not the 14 stone me
I have issues taking my clothes off with new bed partners and I will do anything I can to not have photos taken etc
I know, when I am being rational, that I am not that big, but at lower points I see myself much bigger than I am
Why are you telling him to lose weight!? He hasn't asked for that.
Also, do you have a diagnosis of BDD or are you a qualified psychiatrist? Unless OP has told you of any diagnoses you are absolutely not able to make that assumption. I have a formal BDD diagnosis. Even if you were a qualified psych then it would be unprofessional in the extreme to diagnose people on the internet and possibly cause enough to be struck off.
I appreciate you are probably wanting to help the OP but please stop. What you are doing is dangerous.
Reference - 15+ years of working in mental health, alongside psychs and a lifetime experience of BDD"You obviously needed deeper help with your issues than I did I'm throwing stuff out there about my own experience and what helped for me, including losing weight I'm not dismissing anyones struggle, we're all different in how we identify & deal with stuff Maybe my points might strike a chord, maybe they miss the mark and the OP needs deeper things than the comments of folks on a Swingers Forum He did, however, ask and that leaves him open to the thoughts and opinions of others Those thoughts will come from all angles & perspectives - very few of them professional I won't be demonised for sharing a well intended experience If you think you can help him, help him I don't think getting on my case will do that | |||
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"The point of BBWs being very popular on here, whilst BHMs are treated oppositely. Why is that?" This. | |||
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