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Serious question

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What chocolate would you use as a weapon?

My mate says Galaxy Minstrels cos of the hard shell. I say no way, they go in my gob and would never be lobbed at someone.

I'd happily chuck a kingsize mars bar. Wouldn't miss it and if it hit the target.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Toblerone!

The big, massive ones!

Can be used as a club or sword, has defined edges and if broken over the head of someone and therefore no further use as a 'bashing' or 'lunging' weapon - can be broken up into pointy 'chocolate ninja throwing stars'!!!

Well - triangles anyway!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any chocolate caramels that have been frozen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A chocolate coated baseball bat.

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Just use me as your weapon...Check out my skin...real chocolate...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yorkie is the best...;-)

But its only for men...

*Runs...*

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

A chocolate orange.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Milky bar..... The kid had a gun.,

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Crunchie, because you can use your tongue to shape them into a pointy dagger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

caburys cream egg, nice and hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a pack of Revels and a pea-shooter!!!,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id go toblerone too.. apparently triangles are stronger in formation than squares or blocks,, so im hoping from that theory id get a harder impact and would be less likely to break on me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A king size Mars Bar, Snickers or Double Decker that has been in the fridge would be a good 'stun' tactic if thrown at someones temple.

Not that I have thought about this of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A chocolate orange."

Agree! Wouldn't fancy one of those lobbed at me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"id go toblerone too.. apparently triangles are stronger in formation than squares or blocks,, so im hoping from that theory id get a harder impact and would be less likely to break on me "

or maybe just some chocolate sauce squirted over your tits

i think that's what the americans term a 'shock and awe' tactic

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Cadburys buttons can be lethal in the wrong hands

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go for a combined effect of chocolate doggy drops sewn into a pair of underpants and a starving Rottweiler....

However for any pacifists out there,,, ,I guess you could just give someone the chocolate finger…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"id go toblerone too.. apparently triangles are stronger in formation than squares or blocks,, so im hoping from that theory id get a harder impact and would be less likely to break on me

or maybe just some chocolate sauce squirted over your tits

i think that's what the americans term a 'shock and awe' tactic "

lol i have this sudden urge to call you 'buffy' pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i`d use a giant tolberone to beat you to death

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a psychological weapon! Tie them to a chair so that they can't move, and then just dangle naked chocolate in front of them so that they can almost taste it - but not quite... Then watch them slowly go mad....

Oooohhhh - pure evil...!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Milky bar..... The kid had a gun., "

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"Yorkie is the best...;-)

But its only for men...

*Runs...*"

Oh trust me Yorkie's are for girls

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

d[ o_0 ]b

The chocolate orange with popping candy. Where popping candy is dynamite.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Don't forget you can eat the murder weapon. No evidence...

Toblerone would be good. Inserted.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any decent sized easter eggs,you can use them as bombs and drop them from radio controlled aeroplanes(I know a vivid imagination)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am confused, a weapon of mass destruction like or a weapon for something else?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"Don't forget you can eat the murder weapon. No evidence...

Toblerone would be good. Inserted....."

They make an awful mess

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

How about setting a lion on em stand back and snickers, then collect the bounty on their head and go and celebrations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How about setting a lion on em stand back and snickers, then collect the bounty on their head and go and celebrations "

someone's been thinking hard ..

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By *luespartanMan
over a year ago

crawley

A Magnum, they are big and hard and the evidence of the crime vanishes very quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Peanut M & Ms One of them landing on your head is sure to hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i`d use a giant tolberone to beat you to death "

Snap bloody vicious

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"A chocolate orange."

A frozen one.. that gotta hurt...

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By *onboy777Man
over a year ago

Newark

One of those extra lage dairy milks you get in the grab machines at skegvagas

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By *eavy Metal BallzMan
over a year ago

Birmingham


"A chocolate orange.

A frozen one.. that gotta hurt..."

In a sock!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A chocolate orange.

A frozen one.. that gotta hurt...

In a sock!"

Can just see Ray Winstone with one of those!!

"It's not fucking yours - it's Terry's!!"

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"A chocolate orange.

A frozen one.. that gotta hurt..."

In the end of a sock......better than a medieval mace......or 2 frozen chocolate oranges each in the leg of a pair of American Tan tights, better than a Bolas....and if you hit View with American Tan tights, the fashion faux pas would probably kill him off

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By *33dfulthingsMan
over a year ago

london

Frozen maltesers, scatter them on the floor, watch your opponent slip slide and ride, then once they are in a twisted heap on the floor you can take full advantage of them, please and tease them back to health or restrain them so they don't bother anyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A chocolate orange.

A frozen one.. that gotta hurt...

In a sock!

Can just see Ray Winstone with one of those!!

"It's not fucking yours - it's Terry's!!" "

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"Yorkie is the best...;-)

But its only for men...

*Runs...*

Oh trust me Yorkie's are for girls "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would go with magnum

Have i thrown 5 or 6 lollies. You have to ask yourself, do you feel lucky, well do ya punk

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Cooking chocolate poured over like boiling oil

Then nibbled off when it sets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cooking chocolate poured over like boiling oil

Then nibbled off when it sets"

me thinks u wouldnt get to be nibbling it off - u would be in hospital trying their cuisine through a straw lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't say for certain but I am sure if they still made Fiveboys Chocolate (last sold in 1967..... ) Perky would defo find a way to use five boys....

Okay, who'd like to be the five....... ?

(Oh I am soooo dead!!!)

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London


"Cooking chocolate poured over like boiling oil

Then nibbled off when it sets

me thinks u wouldnt get to be nibbling it off - u would be in hospital trying their cuisine through a straw lol "

I meant to destroy the evidence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can't say for certain but I am sure if they still made Fiveboys Chocolate (last sold in 1967..... ) Perky would defo find a way to use five boys....

Okay, who'd like to be the five....... ?

(Oh I am soooo dead!!!)

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cooking chocolate poured over like boiling oil

Then nibbled off when it sets

me thinks u wouldnt get to be nibbling it off - u would be in hospital trying their cuisine through a straw lol

I meant to destroy the evidence"

it was the boiling bit that put ya in hospital lol

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Not quite sure you are grasping this one Minxie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not quite sure you are grasping this one Minxie "

u know me a pacifist lol and full of fun

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By *he tactile technicianMan
over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands


"Not quite sure you are grasping this one Minxie

u know me a pacifist lol and full of fun "

until you get your hands on the paddles and whips, fuck! the welts and red marks are only just beginning to heal and fade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

laxative choclate hahahahahaha

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Ex lax

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ex lax "

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Ex lax

"
Bad minds think alike lol

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London


"Not quite sure you are grasping this one Minxie

u know me a pacifist lol and full of fun

until you get your hands on the paddles and whips, fuck! the welts and red marks are only just beginning to heal and fade "
It's always the quiet ones

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

hmmmm I'd say a toffee crisp that has been in the fridge for a while, whack em over the head with it, then maybe force feed them so all their teeth break off so no dental records

oh hang on, people unconscious can't chew things can they? damn it!

maybe give them the frozen toffee crisp to eat so all their teeth fall out, then use someone's big tolberone to whack em with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Diam bars,but then I also like armourdillos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A chocolate orange.

Agree! Wouldn't fancy one of those lobbed at me "

yeh i reckon a headache would ensue if hit in the right place

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Enough chocolate liqueurs should kill anything,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything Nestle!

Wolf

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"Enough chocolate liqueurs should kill anything, "

My late Grandma didn't drink at all and once got half cut off a box of chocolate liquers, it was sooooo funny to listen to her slurring her words, think I was only about 8 or 9 at the time so would be just on **coughs** 30 years ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Enough chocolate liqueurs should kill anything,

My late Grandma didn't drink at all and once got half cut off a box of chocolate liquers, it was sooooo funny to listen to her slurring her words, think I was only about 8 or 9 at the time so would be just on **coughs** 30 years ago"

I get pissed off one liqueur.

I think death-by-toblerone is the way to go, closely followed by frozen chocolate orange.

Toffee crisp to rip out their teeth is a nice touch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"closely followed by frozen chocolate orange.

"

frozen chocolate orange and u would make a hole in the floor damn just wanna kill the person not destroy the surroundings at the same time

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"closely followed by frozen chocolate orange.

frozen chocolate orange and u would make a hole in the floor damn just wanna kill the person not destroy the surroundings at the same time"

Sounds like you've tried it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women who say childbirth is painful have obviously never eaten a toblerone straight from the fridge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"closely followed by frozen chocolate orange.

frozen chocolate orange and u would make a hole in the floor damn just wanna kill the person not destroy the surroundings at the same time

Sounds like you've tried it "

may or may not have accidently dropped a chocolate orange onto my mums glass garden table lol

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Impaled on a toblerone and burned using liqueurs to fan the flames

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

theres a web site that sells a full size chocolate hand gun and a chocolate hand grenade !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women who say childbirth is painful have obviously never eaten a toblerone straight from the fridge"

This is sooo true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those little chocolate drops for rabbits. they are a lethal weapon, made me ill for hours after stealing em out the kitchen as a kid lol

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Women who say childbirth is painful have obviously never eaten a toblerone straight from the fridge

This is sooo true "

The trick is not to try and bite a triangle off - break or cut. But now I am going to wonder about just keeping a toblerone in the fridge in case visitors think I mean to kill them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Women who say childbirth is painful have obviously never eaten a toblerone straight from the fridge

This is sooo true

The trick is not to try and bite a triangle off - break or cut. But now I am going to wonder about just keeping a toblerone in the fridge in case visitors think I mean to kill them."

They'll only know the secret of the toblerone if they've read this thread!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

any girls tried a toblerone as an alternative to anal beads

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Women who say childbirth is painful have obviously never eaten a toblerone straight from the fridge

This is sooo true

The trick is not to try and bite a triangle off - break or cut. But now I am going to wonder about just keeping a toblerone in the fridge in case visitors think I mean to kill them.

They'll only know the secret of the toblerone if they've read this thread! "

Good job I don't accommodate anymore. But I will be advising all of my family and friends to keep a large toblerone in the fridge in case of intruders.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"any girls tried a toblerone as an alternative to anal beads "

Chocolates a serious matter - it's not a toy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ha ha to all the choccy weaponry...im quite new to the forums but gotta say i have the best laughs before work in the mornings reading through some of the most random amusing questions posted

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By *orkieMan
over a year ago

Who knows


"Yorkie is the best...;-)

But its only for men...

*Runs...*"

Scuse me .... this Yorkie is straighter than a big fcuk off box of straight things

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"ha ha to all the choccy weaponry...im quite new to the forums but gotta say i have the best laughs before work in the mornings reading through some of the most random amusing questions posted "

Welcome and enjoy. Did you bring chocolates?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was horrified at the total waste of chocolate in this thread!! we should make love, not war....

now we need a chocolate weapon amnesty and I'm just the girl to hand them into!!

now form an orderly queue folks!!!

*Om nom nom*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"any girls tried a toblerone as an alternative to anal beads "

I've joked (ahem) about shoving one up my ex's arse... and the noise I reckon it'd make

barrrrrup brrroooop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Those little chocolate drops for rabbits. they are a lethal weapon, made me ill for hours after stealing em out the kitchen as a kid lol "

Those weren't chocolate drops.

Or raisins.

The rabbits got there first!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know about a wepon but i have used dark chocolate to write messages to housemates when i cant find a pen or pencil......

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